You guys have probably seen this, but I thought it was hilarious...

HEAVY METAL:
The protagonist arrives on a Harley, kills the dragon, drinks a few beers and fucks the
princess.

THRASH METAL:
The protagonist arrives, fights the dragon, saves the princess and fucks her.

POWER METAL:
The protagonist arrives riding a white unicorn, escapes from the dragon, saves the princess
and makes love to her in an enchanted forest.

FOLK METAL:
The protagonist arrives with some friends playing accordions, violins, flutes and many more
weird instruments, the dragon falls sleep (because of all the dancing). Then they all leave
without the princess.

VIKING METAL:
The protagonist arrives in a ship, kills the dragon with his mighty axe, skins the dragon and
eats it, rapes the princess to death, steals her belongings and burns the castle before
leaving.

DEATH METAL:
The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon, fucks the princess and kills her, fucks her again,
then leaves.

BLACK METAL:
The protagonist arrives at midnight, kills the dragon and impales it in front of the castle. Then
he sodomizes the princess, and drinks her blood in a ritual before killing her. Then he
impales the princess next to the dragon.

GORE METAL:
The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon and spreads its guts in front of the castle, fucks the
princess and kills her. Then he fucks the dead body again, slashes her belly and eats her
guts. Then he fucks the carcass for the third time, burns the corpse and fucks it for the last
time.

DOOM METAL:
The protagonist arrives, sees the size of the dragon and thinks he could never beat him,
then he gets depressed and commits suicide. The dragon eats his body and the princess as
dessert. Thats the end of the sad story.

PROGRESSIVE METAL:
The protagonist arrives with a guitar and plays a solo of 26 minutes. The dragon kills himself
out of boredom. The protagonist arrives at the princesss bedroom, plays another solo with all
the techniques and tunes he learned in the last year at the conservatory. The princess
escapes looking for the HEAVY METAL protagonist.
GLAM METAL:
The protagonist arrives, the dragon laughs at the guys appearance and lets him enter. He
steals the princess make-up and tries to paint the castle in a beautiful pink color.

NU METAL:
The protagonist arrives in a run-down Honda Civic and attempts to fight the dragon but he
burns to death when his moronic baggy clothes catch fire.

GRINDCORE:
The protagonist arrives, screams something completely undecipherable for about 2 minutes
and then leaves.

INDUSTRIAL METAL:
The protagonist arrives wearing a greasy overcoat, makes obscene gestures towards the
dragon and gets escorted out of fairy tale land by security guards.

EMOCORE:
The protagonist's mother drives the protagonist and his friends to the castle. He kills the
dragon with some awesome arm-spinning and spin-kicking while his friends observe the
scene with their arms crossed; then the princess laughs at the protagonists ridiculous
hairstyle and the boys leave weeping.

PUNK:
The protagonist hitchhikes to the castle, asks the dragon for some bucks, buys some cans of
beer, gets pissed, insults the princess as monarchist cunt and commerce bitch and leaves
the castle in a black maria.

PORNO GRIND:
The Protagonist arrives at the castle without any clothes on and grunts loudly for a few
minutes. Then he fucks the dragon in every body cavity it has, kills the dragon, fucks the
carcass the same way again, grunts loudly again for a few minutes, grabs the princess and
fucks her in every body cavity she has, kills her and fucks her in the same way again. Then
he piles up the dragons and princesss remains, fucks them in every body cavity they have,
grunts loudly and screams senselessly for a few minutes. Then he leaves.

POP ROCK:
The protagonist arrives in a limo. The dragon lets them in as long as they sign an autograph
for its mom who is a big fan. The protagonist leaves with the princess and they get married.

GOTHIC METAL:
The protagonist arrives along with a cold wind of winter in the middle of the night, frustrates
the heck out of the dragon until it dies of fear and desolation, comes to the princess and
discusses how to clean make- ups without inflicting skin irritation.

METALCORE:
The protagonist swings his feet and arms about wildly, accidentally knocking the dragon out.
Then he storms off in anger that someone messed up his dance routine.
Feb 22, 2007