Melissa Ramkissoon First Draft Self – Portrait

Surrounded by boxes upon boxes. Each labeled “Melissa’s ______.” Sitting in the middle

of a room that is twice the size of the one that I left behind. Is this real? Am I dreaming? I don’t

know, why are you asking yourself? It all happened so fast. I was there just a week ago, now I

have to battle through it all in this new place. Everyone, like always, seemed to be handling it so

well like they have done this a million times and it’s no big deal. But why do I have to be the one

that isn’t taking it so well?

A new school? Just great. And I have to switch schools again to the one up the street

after a year? What is the point??? Isn’t life just lovely. This was the part that rose the levels

through the roof. My little sister was more than energetic about it. Maybe it came with her age.

There was more to look forward to when attending elementary school versus a middle school. I

would have to do this all over again. What can I do differently? I’m just going to screw up again,

just watch. Most days I feel like a broken record, something that repeats at the same spot every

time you put it on the turntable. When I get to this stage why do I stop and repeat? Will I ever be

able to break the cycle?

***

Moving and starting a new school. They seem like simple words to you. Some may not

see this as simple. They see it rather as a mental disaster. When I finished elementary school, I

got accepted to a charter middle school called Scholars’ Academy. I had to do an interview with

the deans and provide a sufficient level of academic achievement in order to attend this middle

school. A couple of my friends and I got accepted and we were going to go to school together.

However, the school was so far away from my house that I had to use a yellow bus service that

took other students to my school as well. I knew one other girl on that bus. She was my best
friend primarily because she lived exactly a block away from me. I knew her since preschool and

I always thought we would be friends for the rest of our lives. As most of us have learned by

now, no, life isn’t a Disney Movie.

***

You’re going to have to say something you idiot. I hope you know that and will be able to

fully function. They seem like people who won’t bite, at least I hope so. I feel like a scene from a

sci-fi movie plays in my head at moments like this. Commander! Should we make contact with

this species? They look quite harmless. I can’t run forever. I will surely be heard to miss. They’re

going to have so many questions. And I have to come up with so many answers. The question

“Where did you come from?” It can be used in many scenarios. I don’t like when it is used in

this one. What do they want me to say? What do they want to hear? I came from Mars? I was

genetically modified in a lab?

“Hi, do you mind if we sit next to you?” Yes actually, I do.

“Uh, sure”

“You’re a new student here, right?” Unfortunately.

“Yea, I moved here over the summer.”

“Oh that’s cool. We get new students all the time. So, what’s your name?”

Have hope? Maybe. But some do say: Test the water before you jump into a pool. It

turned out to be quite so.

***

When my best friend and I started middle school, we did everything together. We even

tried out for the cheerleading team (which was a bad idea). However, as time went, I still don’t

know what happened to this day but, her kind words turned into spears. Her smile showed
vampire fangs. Her once helping hand turned into the one that choked me until my very last

breath. The start of middle school for me like this only went downhill. It was almost as if that

one girl got everyone to think the same way. Everyone to act the same around me. It was mind

boggling to me. Still to this day. It’s something… you’ll never forget. Especially not knowing

what or where you went wrong. It makes you rethink all your actions. I was kind of happy when

we moved. So I wouldn’t have to deal with it for the next for years throughout high school. But

that led to another…

***