Longing for stardust.

My smile only at the genuine responds

when she finds a clear soul with no hidden
shadows.
when it reacts to beauty, to the unexpected,
it smiles to what makes me think and who thinks
about me.

I smile at the new, on the unwalked sidewalks,

in the ancient stone, in the green foliage and the
golden elms.

My smile lives every morning before the cacti

and buds, tiny still but enough to inflate my soul,
and create small joys, essential in my life.

Nowadays I believed my smile was lost.

I was not trained to give it away, nor to show it
on reflex.

Shy and shameless she goes out to meet the

kind, the naughty and also the innocent,
majestic for being human,
generous and naturally amazing.

Even when a smile opens up an unknown world,

and makes the world lighter and lightens
oppression and even can conquer a world;

Smiling it's not my thing lately; the serious, the

serious wins me over.

I would like to be an eternal smile, fly lightly,

open my soul and connect with you and be one
with the world.

To be a feeling, a peaceful moment, not dying in

fear, peace in the air, unground love, pure love
of siblings.

I am the same as 30 years ago, inside me,

cruel mirror that denies it but the soft skin
that takes me wherever I want.
Harsh my reactions and judgments, ungrateful
and unforgiving by minute.

My words give birth to me in every line and

settle me in today and what I am, what I give.
they are mine, intimate, revealing, cutting,
overcoming confessions and they do not silence
sensations or imperfections.

I want my words for the world, for the human, for

my sibling, the friend, although they are neither
near nor favorite, and are not even read.

Perhaps my poems will die in silence, mute and

orphaned.

Perhaps I will leave this life without greater joy

than what my skin has given me.

My wounded ego will disappear sobbing and

being forgotten.
A life learning, giving,
forgetting, longing to be and not to be.

Master world, is that everything we are?

a groan, a crunch, a breath of stardust?

Is that the only thing I get? And what I long for?

I want more, much more!

I love and hate my lonely hours

My drowned words, my infinite thoughts,
the outstretched hand, the lost gaze,
the choked cry and the broken dreams.

I want more, much more!