# 2001 University of South Africa

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University of South Africa
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CGM302-T/1/2002-2006

97109878

3B2
 (iii) CGM302-T/1/2002-2006

Contents

Study unit Page

The outcomes of this module iv
Preface v
1 Some preliminary comments about sexual ethics 1
2 Sex, sexuality and gender stereotyping 10
3 Human sexuality and the Bible 19
4 Sexuality and Christian values 27
5 Human sexuality in historical context 38
6 Human sexuality in an African and South African context 49
7 Singleness 58
8 Premarital and non-marital sexuality 69
9 Marriage 79
10 Marital breakdown 95
11 Homosexuality 108
12 Homosexuality, the Bible and ethical implications 124
13 Rape and battering 136
14 Child abuse 155
15 AIDS 174
16 Spirituality, love and character formation 191
17 Concluding comments 205
Glossary 206
Bibliography 211
 (iv)

The outcomes of this module

The general aim of Theological/Christian Ethics is to inform and educate

students about both the classical and contemporary ethical theories and
debates on the moral interface of faith and life. It is also to enable
students to think critically about the main ethical issues of our time Ð
both theoretical and practical. Finally, it aims to equip students to
evaluate and make their own contribution to the central ethical issues
facing contemporary churches and societies.
On successful completion of this module students will:
. have developed a critical awareness of their own attitudes, values and
actions as well as those of others
. understand and be able to explain a variety of ethical views and
approaches to sexual ethics
. have a greater awareness of and be able to describe the ethical climate
within South Africa and elsewhere, particularly with reference to
human sexuality
. be able to critically analyse and evaluate ethical views and arguments
in relation to sexual ethics
. have acquired skills and methods to apply to decision making
regarding sexual ethical issues
. become more aware of their own values and those of others in relation
to sexual ethics
. be able to assess and compare ethical values and behaviour with
reference to sexual attitudes, beliefs and actions
. be equipped to make a constructive contribution in their families and
communities with respect to ethical attitudes, beliefs and actions in the
sexual realm

Please note:
This study guide has been carefully planned to help you to
successfully achieve these outcomes. It is essential that you complete
all the activities (exercises that encourage you to think, analyse,
formulate arguments and develop your writing skills) contained in
the various study units. By completing these activities (use a
notebook or file your answers) you will be interacting with the
material in this study guide. You may even wish to keep a journal in
which you complete all the activities and also note down your own
thoughts and feelings as you read this study guide. In this way your
studies, thoughts and experiences will be integrated. Hopefully, the
reading of this study guide will inform, challenge and even transform
your attitudes, values and lifestyle.
 (v) CGM302-T/1

Preface

The writing of this study guide has been an exciting, but also onerous,
exercise. This is because many, if not all, of the sexual ethical issues
discussed here are complex and controversial. I have sought both to
provide a fair outline of a variety of views and to be open about my own
convictions. I invite my students to enter into the same process of
information gathering, reflection, decision making and defence of their
attitudes and convictions.
I would like to thank my personal secretary, Nancy Barry, for the extra
hours she put into the previous version of this study guide. I appreciate
her dedication to her job and her willingness to go beyond the call of
duty. Thanks are also due to Caroline Tuckey and Martsie Roman who
have helped me to revise this study guide in terms of its content and also
to rewrite it in OBE (Outcomes Based Education) format. This assistance
has been greatly appreciated. I would like to express my gratitude to my
secretary, Helena Spear, for her work in formatting the manuscript and
completing the editorial amendments. I also value the work done by my
Unisa editor, Sally Taplin, in preparing the manuscript for publication
and the production department of Unisa for transforming this manuscript
into a published study guide.

Louise Kretzschmar
(February 2001)
 1 CGM302-T/1

STUDY UNIT 1

Some preliminary comments

about sexual ethics

OUTCOMES
After working through this study unit, you should be:
. aware of the controversial nature of this subject
. able to state what is and is not discussed in this study guide
. in a position to define sexual ethics and Christian ethics and
explain the relationship of this discipline to other disciplines
. aware of some of the formative factors influencing sexual ethics
. able to state your own approach to sexual ethics

_________________________________________

Activity 1.1

(1) How would you define the terms ``sex'', ``sexuality'' and ``gender''?

(2) Is sex a ``private issue'' or does it also have implications for families
and society?

(3) Ought there, in your view, be a link between sex and morality? Why?

(4) Ought there, in your view, be a connection between sex and religion?
Why?
_________________________________________

a controversial Any discussion of sex and sexuality is bound to be controversial. Human

subject beings experience their sexuality in various ways Ð some positive and
beneficial, others negative and damaging. Experiences such as these
cannot but influence our debates on the subject. Moreover, different
people approach any discussion of the subject from a variety of
viewpoints, both religious and secular. Religious viewpoints would
include Christian, Buddhist, Islamic, Traditional African, and many
others. Various deliberately secular viewpoints would include humanist,
materialist, biological and Freudian philosophical standpoints. To further
complicate the debate, religious and secular viewpoints cannot be so
 2

neatly separated. Thus, Christian ethical approaches often include one or

more philosophical or psychological viewpoints. Similarly, even those
propounding secularist approaches, such as Freud, who was very critical
of religious perceptions of sex and sexuality, cannot but be influenced by
their perceptions of what religious groups teach concerning sex and
sexuality. It can be seen, then, that it is inevitable that debates about sex
and sexuality will be complex and controversial.
sex vs sexuality You may have noticed that a distinction is made above between sex and
sexuality. Sex is the more restrictive term which generally refers to
genital sexual intercourse. Sexuality, on the other hand, refers to the way
in which persons experience their sexuality, their ``male-ness'' or
``female-ness''. Sexuality refers to individual self-perception as well as
the ways in which persons relate to other persons. According to this
distinction, persons who have never experienced genital sex are
nevertheless sexual beings. They are not ``sex-less''; they too
experience human sexuality because it is part of who they are as persons.
what is included? Given that this study guide deals with an important and wide-ranging
part of human existence, you should not expect to find every possible
aspect of human sexuality discussed here. This is a vast subject
concerning which a great many books have been and could still be
written. My object is more modest: to introduce the reader to some of the
key debates in this complex and controversial field. You may wish to re-
read the items mentioned in the table of contents. An outline is also
provided in 1.5 below.
what is not Thus, matters such as the enhancement of pregnancy (or seeking to
included? overcome infertility), the termination of pregnancy (abortion), and the
prevention of pregnancy (contraception) are not discussed here. They
may, however, be discussed in prescribed material such as books or
tutorial letters. Nor are issues such as cloning, genetic manipulation,
surrogate motherhood and the like discussed because these are more
properly part of the study of medical or bio-medical ethics.
Many relevant matters such as prostitution, pornography, masturbation
and bestiality are not discussed in detail, although they may be
mentioned in passing. This is simply because space does not allow for an
exhaustive discussion. Further, this study guide is meant to be an
introduction to the subject of sexual ethics from a Christian
perspective Ð not the final word on every aspect of sexual experience.
This study guide also does not include extensive discussions of the
physical practicalities of sexual acts since it is with the morality of
sexuality that we are concerned. A great variety of physiological
descriptions and sex manuals are available to those wishing to be more
informed on this subject. Even those subjects that are raised in this study
guide are not discussed at great length. The purpose of this study guide is
not to discuss matters exhaustively, but simply to introduce you to some
of the key issues and arguments concerning sexual ethics. You will
therefore need to consult a range of prescribed and recommended
 3 CGM302-T/1

reading to supplement the information and analysis found in this study

guide.

1.1 SEXUAL ETHICS AND CHRISTIAN ETHICS

You will already have been introduced to the subject of Theological
Ethics at a first-year level (in CMM101±M Ð Ethics and life). But it
may be helpful to briefly repeat some of the key definitions outlined in
that module in order to clarify the relationship between sexual ethics in
particular and theological ethics in general.
what is sexual Theological ethics, or ethics for short, is concerned with identifying
ethics? norms of right and wrong and seeking to determine what constitutes
good (or bad) motives, goals and consequences. Those arguments that
stress norms and principles are deontological in nature. Those that stress
motives, consequences and goals are teleological. These were discussed
at length in CMM101±M.
What are the principles, values and convictions that influence our views
and decisions about sexual matters? Do we regard justice, kindness and
holiness as important norms and values and to what extent do we
actually live according to these, or other, values? Do we just ``go with
the flow'' or are there certain beliefs that we adhere to, such as that all
people are created in the image of God and are, thus, inherently
valuable? To what extent are these beliefs reflected in our behaviour or
do we simply act out our selfish desires, contradicting those principles or
norms we claim to hold?
Motive is another important issue. Are we honest about our motives
(which drive us) or do we seek to hide them with clever rationalisations?
Do we bear consequences in mind when we decide to act in a particular
way in our sexual relationships? Are the effects on ourselves and our
families good and valuable, or bad and destructive? What is the goal to
which we are striving Ð a more moral and loving personal character, a
healthy society, a life-giving family life? Would those who live closest to
us confirm or deny what we claim to be striving towards?
A distinction can thus be made between ethos and ethics. Ethos refers to
``the way things are'', in other words what generally happens and what is
generally accepted in a particular society. Ethics, however, is a critical
discussion of and reflection on the ethos of a particular society (Botha in
Villa-Vicencio & de Gruchy 1994:36). The ethicist wants to ask whether
customary behaviour is right. The ethicist also wants to ask whether the
goals, consequences and motives of certain forms of behaviour can be
considered to be good or beneficial. So, in relation to the study of sexual
ethics from a Christian perspective, we need to ask: Can certain
perceptions of sexuality as well as certain sexual practices and behaviour
be considered to be right and good from a Christian moral perspective?
Do our personal and family lives conform to the purpose and will of God
as revealed in the Bible, the life of Christ, and the teachings of the
church?
 4

consequences of Because the sexual behaviour of individuals has consequences beyond

sexual behaviour the lives of those individuals, the ethicist must also ask in what ways the
sexual behaviour of one or more individuals impinges on their family,
friends, church community and society at large. For example, if a male
pastor of a church has an adulterous affair with another woman, this
behaviour cannot be said to be restricted to the pastor and his mistress,
because their behaviour will have an effect on the pastor's family,
particularly his wife and children, and will also have an effect on the
church community and even the wider community. More than one
church has been severely debilitated as a result of moral failings of this
kind. In other words, sexual relations are not an entirely ``private'' affair;
nor is it enough to speak of sexual intercourse as acceptable as long as it
takes place between ``consenting adults''. Whether we like it or not,
sexuality and morality cannot be easily separated.
Any academic study of the field of sexual ethics will show that sexual
experiences and perceptions can sometimes be life-giving and creative,
while at other times they can destroy human relationships and individual
people. For this reason, the common distinction between morality (the
way in which people ought to behave) and ethics (a critical study of what
is considered to be right or good) cannot easily be sustained. In the realm
of human sexuality, sexual experience and behaviour cannot be neatly
separated from an academic debate about what is right or good in
relation to human sexuality. The study of sexual ethics can seldom, if
ever, be an objective, neutral or clinical exercise. Our own experiences,
positive and negative, have an impact on our thoughts and feelings about
sexual morality.
Because this study guide is concerned with sexual ethics, that is the way
in which human sexuality ought to be perceived and practised, the
question will be asked: What constitutes legitimate and life-giving sexual
experience and what, on the other hand, constitutes illegitimate or
inappropriate sexual expression? We therefore deal with matters such as
marriage (study unit 9) and sexual abuse (study units 13 and 14). In other
words, this study guide will contain information and analysis regarding
both the ideal and positive as well as the actual, negative aspects of
sexuality. Both are important in people's experience and one should not
be emphasised at the expense of the other. As I have already indicated,
sexual ethics is a controversial and complex subject; therefore, I do not
expect all of you, especially those of you who may not share a Christian
religious framework, to agree with me. But you are free to construct and
defend your own views and approaches to the issue of human sexuality.

1.2 SEXUAL ETHICS AS A DISCIPLINE AND ITS RELATIONSHIP

TO OTHER DISCIPLINES
sexual ethics and This study guide deals with several aspects of sexual ethics as perceived
other disciplines from a Christian perspective. This is because it is part of a degree in
Christian Theology and Ethics. However, the field of sexual ethics
cannot be neatly separated from related disciplines such as social,
 5 CGM302-T/1

biblical or medical ethics. All of these are closely interrelated and in this
study guide I will be drawing upon a range of readings from a variety of
theological and other academic fields of study. Furthermore, Christian
sexual ethics cannot be isolated from other disciplines such as
philosophy, anthropology, psychology and sociology (Kretzschmar in
Villa-Vicencio & de Gruchy 1994:4±9). Thus, insights drawn from these
disciplines will be included where relevant.
gender studies Another important related discipline is that of gender studies, an aspect
of which is feminist, womanist or women's studies. Definitions in this
field are numerous. Some people speak of feminism, others speak of
womanism and still others speak of African women's experience. The
issue of what it means to be a woman, as well as the way in which
women are regarded within the family, church and society, has long been
a matter of discussion and concern. Throughout church history there are
examples of women who challenged the male status quo and also
challenged male perceptions and expectations concerning women within
both the church and society (see Tucker & Liefelt 1987).
Since the beginning of the 20th century, debates about women in both
the family and the wider social context have increased exponentially.
Various schools of thought have emerged, including the Liberal
Feminists, Radical Feminists, Marxist Feminists, Womanists in North
America, African and Asian Womanist theologies (see Ramazanoglu
1989).
These terms can be defined as follows:
Liberal feminism: Liberal feminism seeks the equality of women,
largely through legal and constitutional means.
One example would be the suffragette move-
ment in early 20th century England which
sought to secure civil rights, such as the right
to vote, for women.
Radical feminism: A form of feminism that concentrates on
overthrowing patriarchy and questioning the
structures that give men power over women.
Marxist feminism: A form of feminism that draws on the tools of
Marxist social analysis to analyse society. It
stresses the economic nature of male power,
especially at a social level.
Womanist theology: This is a form of feminist theology which has
been developed by black women especially in
North America. It has developed as a reaction to
feminist theology which has been the theologi-
cal expression largely of white Western women,
mainly from the middle class. Womanist
theology attempts to reflect the reality of
poverty, racism and marginalisation of many
black women.
 6

African Women's African women have been influenced by

Theology: both feminism and womanism. Many of the
psychological, political and economic critiques
of feminism and the racial and class analysis of
womanism are incorporated into the thinking of
African women. In addition, the cultural,
historical and contemporary realities of the lives
of women in Africa are stressed. African
Women's Theology further seeks to analyse
the Bible, theology and church practices from
the perspective of the experience of women.

In relation to these ideologies and theologies, it can be seen that, in some

ways, women all over the world and throughout history share certain
experiences and perceptions. These include experiences as wives,
mothers, daughters and sisters. However, women throughout the history
of the world and contemporary women are also divided by their
experience. For example, some women are rich whilst others are poor,
some are white whereas others are black, some are educated whilst
others are illiterate and women come from different ethnic groups and
nationalities. It can be seen, then, that areas of difference as well as areas
of similarity can be found with respect to the experiences of women.
(Issues such as these are discussed in more detail in TIC301±B, Women,
society and the church.)
whose The interrelationship of feminism, womanism and women's theology on
perspective? the one hand, and sexual ethics on the other hand, is obvious. Women,
like men, are sexual beings. Unlike men, however, women are more
often at the receiving end of the negative aspects of sexuality. Women
are more often abused sexually as well as being subjected to physical,
emotional and verbal abuse. In the past, sexual ethics has often been
understood from a male perspective and women's experience and
perceptions of sexuality have seldom been reflected in philosophical
world views and theological discussions of human sexuality. This study
guide, in part, seeks to redress these previous omissions.

1.3 SOME FACTORS WHICH INFLUENCE OUR PERCEPTIONS

AND EXPERIENCE OF SEXUALITY
effects of medical One's understanding of sexual ethics cannot be separated from social
technology perceptions or developments within the field of medical technology.
There can be little doubt that the widespread availability of contraceptive
devices, such as the pill and condom, has influenced sexual attitudes and
behaviour. Until the advent of AIDS (Acquired Immune Deficiency
Syndrome), the ability of modern medicine to cure sexually transmitted
diseases such as syphilis and gonorrhoea meant that men and women
were less cautious about engaging in promiscuous sexual behaviour than
previously. The modern scourge of AIDS has again made some people
 7 CGM302-T/1

more circumspect, but others seem to pursue sexual licentiousness with

unabated fervour.
Other factors that influence sexual ethics include the way in which the
biblical texts are interpreted as well as changes in attitude to sexuality
within our social milieu (context). Thus contemporary perceptions of
virginity, divorce, homosexuality and sexual promiscuity, for example,
vary greatly from perceptions held by our grandparents. Even as recently
as 50±100 years ago, divorce was far less widespread than it is today.
Further, the phenomena of single people and of blended families (often
the result of divorced parents and their children being drawn into a
``new'' family) were not as common as they are today.
socio-historical In study units 5 and 6 I will elucidate further on the way in which our
influences socio-historical context influences our perception of sexual ethics. You
will notice that a variety of world views have been influential during
various periods in church history. Thus, for example, celibacy was
regarded as a very important way of expressing one's devotion to God
during the early church period. In more recent times, celibacy has often
been perceived to be a lifestyle best avoided. This means that a study of
sexual ethics cannot proceed without some historical consciousness, lest
we are to have a purely myopic (short-sighted) approach to the subject of
human sexuality.

1.4 MY OWN APPROACH

In an earlier study guide (CMM101±M), I outlined some of the relevant
details concerning my own background and approach (Kretzschmar
1999:4). Here it is only necessary to state that I approach the subject
from a Christian perspective, though realising that there are many strands
within the Christian tradition. My own preference is for the radical
evangelical perspective, but I have been influenced by a range of
theological perspectives including various contextual theologies such as
African and Feminist Theology. This does not mean, however, that these
are the only perspectives which are discussed in this text. As indicated in
the text itself and in the bibliography, a wide variety of sources have
been consulted. While I indicate my own views, where relevant, I
encourage you to form your own views and you will be expected to be
able to explain and defend them. In this way, you will begin to develop
the skills described at the beginning of this module in the section entitled
``Outcomes of this module''.
_________________________________________

Activity 1.2

(1) Summarise your own background or life experience.

 8

(2) What world views (ways of thinking) or theologies have influenced your
attitudes and patterns of thinking?

(3) What impact have your experiences (question 1) or patterns of

thinking (question 2) had on your perceptions and activities with regard
to human sexuality?
_________________________________________

1.5 AN OUTLINE OF THE STUDY UNITS CONTAINED IN THIS

STUDY GUIDE
study units 1±6 Study unit 1, as you have seen, introduces the topics under discussion in
this study guide.
Study unit 2, entitled ``Sex, sexuality and gender stereotyping'', opens
up the debate and introduces some of the main themes and key
definitions of later study units. These include definitions of sex and
sexuality, biblical hermeneutics, ethics and pleasure, and sexuality and
Christian values.
Study units 3 and 4 look more closely at the Bible and Christian values.
A key issue here is how to evaluate sexual behaviour.
Study unit 5, entitled ``Human sexuality in historical context'', outlines
some of the historical contexts within which many of central debates on
sexual ethics have occurred. Many of these views continue to have an
impact on us today.
Study unit 6 concentrates on the African context, especially that of South
Africa.
study units 7±15 You will notice that study units 7 to 15 deal with specific issues and
concerns in sexual ethics. Some of the skills and methods discussed in
the first seven study units are used in these later study units.
Study unit 7 is entitled ``Singleness'' and it makes the point that
singleness is a state which we all experience, at one stage or another.
Study unit 8 looks at premarital and non-marital sexuality because these
are challenging issues. A discussion of sexuality cannot, thus, be
restricted to subjects such as marriage, divorce and remarriage.
Study units 9 and 10 briefly discuss sexuality in the context of marriage
and the various ramifications of this large subject, such as the purpose of
marriage, marital breakdown, divorce and remarriage.
Study units 11 and 12 are about homosexuality. A number of issues are
raised, including definitions of homosexuality, the causes and incidence
of homosexuality, Christian responses to homosexuality, homosexuality
and the Bible, and homosexuality and the South African Bill of Rights.
Study units 13 and 14 are a discussion of rape, spouse battering and child
abuse. All of these kinds of sexual violence and abuse seem to be
increasing or, at least, are increasingly reported. Because of the high rate
 9 CGM302-T/1

of sexual abuse in South Africa, and other countries, it is necessary to

discuss this subject in the context of the general field of sexual ethics.
Study unit 15 is simply entitled ``AIDS'' and deals briefly with this very
important modern phenomenon. All over the world, not least in Africa,
HIV/AIDS is spreading at an alarming rate. In some provinces of South
Africa figures as high as 25 percent of the population have been
reported. This means that a proper knowledge of AIDS is an essential for
all of us. Unless people are well informed and take positive steps to
avoid contracting this disease, thousands of people will die in the very
near future, joining those who are already dead as a result of having
contracted AIDS.
study unit 16 Study unit 16 is entitled ``Spirituality, love and character formation''. I
have decided to close my discussion of sexual ethics with this study unit
in order to return to themes raised in the earlier study units and also to
end the discussion on a more positive note. This study unit starts off with
a definition of what constitutes a holistic spirituality and goes on to ask
the question ``What is love?''. The study unit concludes with a
discussion of character formation because Christians have always argued
that meaningful and life-giving experiences of sexuality cannot be
separated from the maturity and morality of human persons.
study unit 17 In this last, brief study unit, I make some concluding comments and
encourage you to assess the study guide in relation to the outcomes of
the module as outlined at the beginning of the study guide.
bibliography and You will find a comprehensive bibliography listed at the end of this
glossary study guide to encourage further reading and study. There is also a
glossary to help you to improve your technical vocabulary.
With these preliminary comments in mind, we can now proceed to the
subject of study unit 2: ``Sex, sexuality and Christian ethics''.
 10

STUDY UNIT 2

Sex, sexuality and gender stereotyping

OUTCOMES
After working through this study unit, you should be able to:
. explain basic concepts such as sex, sexuality, gender, stereotyping
and socialisation
. comment on the influence of socialisation on sexual identity

2.1 WHAT CONSTITUTES HUMAN SEXUALITY?

_________________________________________

Activity 2.1

Before you continue reading, stop for a moment to consider the following:

(1) How would you define human sexuality? Write down your own definition
in a sentence or two.

(2) Explain what is meant by the terms ``feminine'' and ``masculine''. What
would you say are characteristics (that define who one is) or roles (a
description of behaviour or expected behaviour) of women and men?
_________________________________________

sex and sexuality A distinction is sometimes made between sex and sexuality. When
people use the term sex, they generally refer to genital sexual activity
aimed at procreation, union, pleasure or sexual release. This sexual
activity is generally of an erotic and genital nature and involves sexual
arousal and intercourse. Sexuality, however, is a more complex and
extensive term, and does not necessarily include genital sexual activity.
Sexuality refers to a basic element of what it means to be human and
refers to our self-understanding and relationships with others Ð which
may not include genital sexual activity. Sexuality refers to the longing
for human relationships, whether these relationships are expressed within
or outside of marriage. Sexuality involves at least two vital elements of
human personality and experience: the issue of identity, how we perceive
ourselves; and the issue of relationship, how we relate to other people
 11 CGM302-T/1

(and also how we relate to God). Sex, then, refers to the biological
function of sexual intercourse, whereas sexuality is intimately linked to
how we relate to ourselves and each other and how we express and
experience affection, warmth, closeness and care for each other. The
latter is often referred to as affective (emotional) sexuality.

sexuality and This raises the whole issue of sexuality and identity. Are we first human
identity persons and then either male or female? Or are we essentially either male
or female first and only secondly human persons? Are we all either
basically male or female or are some bisexual (attracted to both sexes)?
How do we relate to those who have had, or wish to have, a sex change
or are transvestites? Transvestites are persons who adopt the dress, and
often the behaviour, of the opposite sex. These may sound like rather
strange questions, but they touch on the issue of personal and sexual
identity. For some, the core of a person's identity is their humanity,
whereas for others, the core of a person's human identity is their
sexuality. If, as Jesus says (Matt 22:30), there will be no marriage in
heaven, does this mean that there will be no experiences of genital sex in
heaven, or does it mean that in heaven we are neither male nor female,
but simply human?

sex versus A distinction is also sometimes made between the ``sex'' and the
gender ``gender'' of a person. The term ``sex'' refers to persons' male or female
biological differences, but the word ``gender'' refers to the way in which
individual people and societies understand these biological differences
between men and women. Gender is often thought to be a socially,
culturally, or religiously constructed understanding of what is considered
to be ``masculine'' or ``feminine''. When we speak of someone's gender,
we refer to the way in which the person or society defines their roles and
social behaviour in terms of the masculine or feminine gender. More
recently, because of wide-ranging discussions on homosexuality, the
issue of homosexual gender identity has also been the subject of much
public debate. I return to the issue of homosexuality in a later study unit.

2.2 GENDER STEREOTYPING

gender This raises the whole matter of ``gender stereotyping''. Gender
stereotyping stereotyping is very prevalent in the societies in which we live. The
church, as a religious institution functioning within these societies, is
profoundly influenced by these perceptions of the differing status and
roles of men and women in society. Gender stereotyping refers to the
practice of women and men being viewed in very circumscribed ways.
Thus, both in terms of their inherent nature, and in terms of the roles that
they are expected to play in society, very specific and rigid role
expectations are prescribed. An example of gender stereotyping would
be that ``men are by nature rational, whereas women are emotional''. An
example of role stereotyping would be that ``women must follow
whereas men must lead''.
 12
_________________________________________

Activity 2.2

(1) Indicate your views by ticking in the appropriate columns in the

following table on gender stereotyping. For example: Are women more
rational or are men more rational?

Which describe Characteristics Which describe men

women well? well?
rational

passive

independent

active

better at problem
solving

more likely to go to
pieces in a serious
crisis

aggressive

dependent

emotional

more self-centred

submissive

talk more

(2) Indicate your agreement or disagreement with the following role

identifications:

Men should Agree Disagree

get the task done

provide initiative

not show emotion

compete

lead

Women should Agree Disagree

nurture

accept initiative

show emotion

conform

follow
 13 CGM302-T/1

(3) Do you mainly agree or disagree with the above role identification?
Explain why.
_________________________________________

It is obvious that perceptions such as those indicated in the second table

above, because they are so dominant within many of our societies, have
a profound effect on the life of the church. From a very early age
children are initiated into societal norms and behaviour through the
social process called socialisation. Socialisation can be defined as
``... the learning process by which an individual develops into a social
being and is able to function in society'' (Popenoe 1977:109). Gender
socialising is one aspect of socialising in general. This means that ``every
society makes some distinctions between the social roles appropriate to
men and women, although the content of the roles varies considerably
from society to society'' (Popenoe 1977:129). Socialisation is an
important and valuable social process. When it reinforces sexist (or
racist) stereotypes, however, it can have a negative effect on the
development of individual persons and can act as a force that resists
social change. Sexist socialisation occurs to a greater or lesser extent in
all societies.
Thus in Western society, for example, little girls are dressed in pink and
given dolls to play with. Boys are dressed in blue and are encouraged to
play with building blocks, cars and guns. In rural Africa, girls are
expected to help their mothers with wood-gathering, the fetching of
water, cooking and cleaning, whereas the boys herd cattle and sheep. The
effect of this is that children are reared in such a way that they will later
conform to the social norms and behaviour regarded as acceptable to that
particular society.

2.3 SOCIALISATION IN THE CHURCH

_________________________________________

Activity 2.3

(1) Think back to the days you went to Sunday school (or speak to someone
who previously attended Sunday school Ð or who now attends). Tick
which of the following stories you remember being told:

Stories about Remember Don't remember

Noah

David and Goliath

Other stories about

David
 14

Stories about Remember Don't remember

The birth of Jesus

Miracles of Jesus

The parables of
Jesus, eg

The sower

The woman hunt-

ing for the lost
coin

Ruth

Samson

Moses

Elijah

Gideon

Deborah

Creation

Joseph

Abraham

Esther

Daniel

Jonah

(2) Do you remember being told more stories about men or more about
women in the Bible?

(3) How were the men portrayed? Were any of the characteristics noted
in activity 2.2 stressed?

(4) How were women portrayed? Were any of the characteristics noted in
activity 2.2 stressed?
_________________________________________

One could argue that socialisation also occurs in the church. Girls and
boys see men performing tasks such as leading and preaching, whilst
they see women teaching in the Sunday school and making endless cups
of tea. Small wonder then that by the time they reach adulthood, these
children have been ``socialised'' into believing that men and women are
inherently dissimilar and have different roles to play in the church (If you
wish to read more about this subject, consult the dissertation written by
Caroline Tuckey (1994). The bibliographic details are provided in the
bibliography at the end of the study guide.)

2.4 GENDER STEREOTYPING IN THE CHURCH

The following are some examples of gender stereotyping in the church:
 15 CGM302-T/1

Women are Men are

easy to deceive
unable to lead churches
not worth consulting
below men in importance
have only certain spiritual gifts
able to resist deception
able to lead churches
worth consulting
above women in importance
have all the spiritual gifts

As a result of perceptions about the inherent nature of men and women, a

form of ``job reservation'' exists in the church: in other words, there is
men's work and women's work.
_________________________________________

Activity 2.4

Which of these tasks are delegated to women and which are delegated to
men? Tick in the appropriate place.

Tasks/roles Expected of Expected of

women men
follow
submit
lead women's groups
receive the sacraments
make policy
formulate doctrine
raise money
teach in the church
lead men's groups
listen
carry out policy
believe in doctrine
rule
preach
make tea, cake and meals
decorate the church
 16

teach in the Sunday school

administer the sacraments
administer and spend funds
consume tea and cake
thank the ``ladies''
lead

effects of gender What, then, is the effect of gender stereotyping in churches?

stereotyping
_________________________________________

Activity 2.5

(1) To what extent do you think that gender stereotyping still exists in
the church? If you belong to a church, think of your church.

(2) List four possible consequences of gender stereotyping for the

members of the church and the ministry of the church.
_________________________________________

Some of the possible consequences include:

. Women are regarded as suitable for certain jobs only and are denied
positions of influence.
. Men maintain their power in the church. The church is impoverished
because the gifts of women are not fully recognised and utilised.
. Models of dominance (rather than service) remain prominent in the
practice of church leadership and ministry.
. Not enough attention is paid to the issue of what it is that characterises
femininity and masculinity and male and female roles.
. Both men and women are forced to conform to stereotypes or are
regarded as ``odd''.
. Fear of change (particularly in a country that is experiencing rapid
social transition) causes people to cling to old, familiar patterns of
behaviour.

These few comments on gender stereotyping indicate the importance of

asking ourselves how we perceive the natures and roles of women and
men and why we perceive them in this manner. These attitudes are
important for perceptions of masculinity and femininity and, therefore,
of sexuality. Clearly, men and women are not the same, but it is equally
incorrect to regard masculinity and femininity in stereotyped and
circumscribed ways. We ought rather to remember that men have a
 17 CGM302-T/1

``feminine'' aspect of their being and women, likewise, have a

``masculine'' aspect of their being (see Kretzschmar 1995a:147±161).
Furthermore, the whole matter of spiritual gifts (as described in Rom 12;
1 Cor 12 and Eph 4) needs further investigation. These gifts are not
separated into gifts for males and other gifts for females. Therefore, we
can only conclude that offices, ministries and authority in the church
ought to be allocated according to gifts and callings and not, as is often
the case, according to gender.
_________________________________________

Activity 2.6

(1) Consider illustration 2.1. What is your immediate reaction to this

illustration?

ILLUSTRATION 2.1

(Source unknown)
 18

(2) What do you think the artist is trying to say?

(3) Is it true that men and women, as human persons, are valued
differently (eg regarded as more, or less, important)?

(4) Is it true that, even though they may be doing the same work, they are
not paid the same salary? Why?
_________________________________________

Grenz (1990:4) puts this forward as one of his main theses concerning
our sexual identity:
... our sexuality is an aspect of our being that lies behind, produces
and is given expression by physical sexual characteristics and
reproductive capacity. To understand this fuller dimension of
sexuality, we must look both to the human sciences and the biblical
narratives concerning human origins.

Here Grenz indicates the deep and essential nature of our sexuality. He
also indicates that the way in which maleness and femaleness ought to be
defined and understood is by no means easily resolved. Thus, we would
do well not to jump to quick and incomplete answers to the question of
what is involved in our personalities and our human sexuality. Let us go
on, then, to consider human sexuality in the light of the Bible.
 19 CGM302-T/1

STUDY UNIT 3

Human sexuality and the Bible

OUTCOMES
After working through this study unit, you should:
. be able to describe and critique the interpretation of some key
biblical texts with respect to gender and sexuality
. understand and be able to evaluate the effect of these texts, and
their interpretations, on Christian sexual ethics

3.1 SOME INTERPRETATIVE CLUES

context When using biblical texts to support one's views on sexual ethics, one
must take care to ensure that texts, and particularly portions of texts, are
not taken out of context. A simple example is Genesis 1:28, which states:
``Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth.'' Does this mean that human
beings are to multiply indiscriminately so that the earth is literally filled
and there is no room to move and no space in which the rest of God's
creation can thrive? Surely not. The text needs to be interpreted in
relation to the surrounding chapters and the message of the Bible as a
whole. This text was written at a time when the world was relatively
underpopulated and cannot therefore be used as a proof-text against
contraception. Both the literary (textual) context and the socio-historical
contexts of biblical passages are therefore important.
culture is not When thinking about sexual ethics, particularly with respect to
normative relationships between males and females, we need to remember that
while the teachings of the Bible are essential for ``Christian faith and
practice'', the cultural context in which the biblical text is embedded is
not itself normative (Mollenkott 1979). Thus, for example, even though
slavery was practised during both the Old and New Testament periods,
this does not mean that Christians can practise slavery.
Similarly, because women were sometimes regarded as ``property''
belonging to the male head of the family or clan (Ex 22:15ff), it does not
mean that this cultural perception is valid for all time. It is relative to that
situation. Even within the Old Testament other perceptions of women
may be found. Thus, Deuteronomy 5:21 does not list women as property,
a woman's name is to be protected from slander (Dt 22:13±19), and
women's rights are to be respected in times of war (Dt 21:10±14). It is
 20

for this reason that a distinction must be made between the historical
descriptions of moral (or immoral) behaviour in the Bible and those parts
of the Bible that provide ethical norms and values that ought to govern
our thoughts, motives and actions (see Botha in Villa-Vicencio & de
Gruchy 1994:38).
Other examples can also be given to illustrate this point. Thus, even
though women were more often than not regarded as of less importance
than men in Israelite culture (as well as in surrounding Canaanite,
Assyrian and Egyptian cultures), this does not mean that these cultural
practices should be imitated by modern Christians, particularly not when
many parts of the biblical text affirm the value and importance of
women. This means that texts that deal with relationships between men
and women need to be read in relation to each other and to the socio-
historical context in which they were written to ascertain ``what the Bible
teaches''. For example, the verse in Ephesians 5:22, ``Wives, be subject
to your own husbands, as to the Lord'' needs to be read in relation to
Ephesians 5:21, ``and be subject to one another in the fear of Christ'',
and Ephesians 5:25, ``Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved
the church and gave himself up for her''. (The meanings of these texts
and the patriarchal context in which they were written are discussed in
study unit 10.4.) In this way, many of the problems associated with
relationships between husbands and wives can be resolved.
how do women A proper understanding of these texts will prevent male members of
experience the churches from exploiting and denigrating female members of churches.
church? While many women have found the church to be a haven from abuse and
discrimination, many other women have found that they experience
discrimination within the church and that Christian theology is used as a
justification for practices that treat women (and often children) as less
than fully human and therefore as less important than men.
Consider illustration 3.1.
Does it make you laugh, think, or get angry? Why? It is a humorous look
at the whole issue of whether women ought to be ordained as priests or
ministers. On the left-hand side the cartoonist portrays an all-male
priesthood propagating a view based on conclusions drawn from Jesus's
choice of disciples. (You may want to read Luke 8:1±3 which speaks of
Jesus's female followers/disciples.) On the righthand side, the caption
suggests that God, herself, is a woman.
patriarchy What, then, about patriarchy? Patriarchy, in the sense in which I am
using it here, means male rule or, more literally, rule by the fathers (pater
means ``father'' and arche means ``rule''). Both the Old and New
Testaments are set in a social context in which men, whether they were
fathers, brothers, husbands or sons, all played a leading role in social and
family life. Within this context women did not have authority over their
own lives, but were largely subject to decisions made by the central man
or men in their lives.
To some extent certain modern countries, mainly in Asia, Africa, Eastern
Europe and Latin America, still operate according to this norm.
 21 CGM302-T/1

ILLUSTRATION 3.1
A cartoon about women's ordination to the priesthood.

Source: Saturday Star, 2±3 July, 1994:10

Although it is difficult to generalise, and certain groups in those

countries have experienced a degree of female emancipation, many
millions of women in the world do not experience equality with men and
are subject to patriarchy in the same way as were Sarah, Rachel and Ruth
in Old Testament times. Since much of the Bible assumes a context of
patriarchy, biblical texts that specifically relate to sexuality, marriage,
family and gender relations are difficult to interpret.

3.2 THE CREATION NARRATIVES

The creation narratives in Genesis 1 and 2 are important for our
understanding of the nature of men and women, their relationships with
each other, and their roles in the family and the social sphere. There is
some debate among scholars about the meaning of these two narratives
and the differences between them. It has been argued that the account in
Genesis 2 was written first, whereas the account in Genesis 1 is, in fact, a
later narrative.
_________________________________________

Activity 3.1

(1) Read Genesis chapters 1 and 2. Concentrate on the following verses:

Gen 1:26 to the end

Gen 2:4±7 and 15±25
 22

(2) Compare these two versions of creation:

Questions Gen 1 Gen 2

What was the order of
creation?

What conclusions can be

drawn from this ``order''?

What characteristics or
roles are described here?

What conclusions can we

draw from these stories
regarding the characteris-
tics and roles of women
and men?

_________________________________________

Genesis 1 Genesis 1:27 states ``And God created man in his own image, in the
image of God he created him; male and female; he created them''. This is
an extremely important text since it talks about the creation of
humankind (the word ``man'' here is a generic term meaning
humankind) and it makes the point that both females and males are
created in God's image. This has enormous implications for gender
relationships. There is no indication in this text that the one sex has
dominance over the other. As Hulley and Mofokeng (1983:67) put it:
Here the sexual relationship between two persons, neither of whom
enjoys precedence, is given its place in creation; it is a relationship
between equals. The role of the male and female vis-aÁ-vis creation
is likewise a joint one, for they are both to fill the earth and use its
resources.

The last part of this quotation is a comment on Genesis 1:28 and Hulley
makes the point that both women and men are to exercise responsibility
over the earth. This is in sharp contrast to the common perception that
women are to be active in the private sphere (eg at home) whereas men
are to be active in the public sphere (eg in government or business).
Interestingly enough, Proverbs 31:10±31, which is often used as a
preaching text on ``Mother's Day'' at churches, speaks of a woman who
is active in both the public and private spheres.
Genesis 2 The second creation story (Gen 2:4±25) also speaks of the creation of
humanity. In contrast to the narrative in Genesis 1, this narrative speaks
of the man being created first and it uses the symbolism of the woman
being created from the rib of the man. This has caused some
commentators and preachers to insist that men should have precedence
over women since they were created first. However the logic of this
position is suspect, since, in the context of Genesis 1 and 2, it would
imply that inanimate creation as well as vegetation and animals should
have precedence over humanity because they were created before human
beings. Therefore, other scholars have argued that both the creation
 23 CGM302-T/1

narratives insist on the unity of creation, that is the interdependency

between humanity, the fauna, flora and inanimate creation. Further, men
and women, because they are both created in God's image, are on the
same level.
This interpretation of interhuman equality is supported by Genesis 2:18
which makes the point that the man was alone and a `helper'' needed to
be created. The original word used in this text is ezer which implies
companionship and partnership. Instead of ``helper'', it could better be
translated ``counterpart''. Translations that used the word ``helper'' have
sometimes led to the conclusion being drawn that women are to be
subject and subordinate to men, along the lines of a servant, rather than a
partner.
It can be seen, then, that the creation narratives Ð and in particular the
way in which these narratives are interpreted Ð are crucial in the whole
debate about relationships between the sexes. This obviously has
enormous implications for discussions on gender relationships and
human sexuality.

3.3 GENESIS 3
The narrative in Genesis 3, on what is commonly called the ``Fall'' in
Christian theology, is also relevant to our discussion.
_________________________________________

Activity 3.2

(1) Read Genesis 3.

(2) Who was responsible for the Fall? With which of the three following
views would you most closely agree?

(a) Eve was deceived and she tempted Adam, so she was responsible
for the Fall.

(b) Both Adam and Eve were responsible; both decided to disobey God.

(c) Adam was weak and unable to obey God's instruction, so he was
responsible for the Fall.

(3) Defend your view.

_________________________________________

those who blame It has traditionally been argued that since Eve was deceived, she ought to
women for the carry the entire responsibility for the Fall. Examples of such
``Fall'' interpretations include the comment by the early Christian theologian
Tertullian (c160±225) who said:
Women, you are the Devil's doorway. You have led astray one [ie
 24

Adam] whom the Devil would not dare to attack directly. It was
your fault that the Son of God had to die, you shall always go in
mourning and rags (Keane 1988:4).

Another example is that of John Damascene who wrote:

Woman is a sick she-ass ... a hideous tapeworm ... the advance post
of hell (Keane 1988:4).

According to Marie-Henry Keane, Tertullian regarded women as morally

weak and born troublemakers. In his denigration of Eve, Tertullian, says
Keane (1988:4),
made her a scape-goat to bear the guilt of all sin for he put on her
shoulders the sin of humankind, denying thereby that men and
women alike were accomplices in sin.

These early church fathers expressed extremely negative views of

women. One possible reason for these views lies in the fact that from AD
306 onwards priests were expected to live celibate lives, though the
celibacy of the priesthood was not yet enforced. Women were suspected
of luring men away from God through sexual temptation. Consequently,
marriage and God-given sexual pleasure were relegated to the
background and celibacy was stressed as the most important way in
which one could show one's devotion to God.
Although these are extreme examples, they nevertheless reflect certain
attitudes towards women in general and towards sexuality in particular,
which are still to be found among some modern people. In meetings with
several women's groups over the past 15 years, I have been regularly
informed that passages such as Genesis 3 are still used by pastors to ``put
women in their place''. This means that the practice of using this
particular passage to distort relationships between men and women and
put women in an inferior position, loading on them the entire guilt for the
Fall, is still common.
Genesis 3 These interpretations of Genesis 3 are, however, not valid. Given that it
is difficult to interpret the narratives included in Genesis 1±11, partly
because they are written in a highly symbolic style and partly because
they deal with aspects of human life that we know very little about,
misinterpretations such as those cited above ought to be avoided. It is
true that in the context of Genesis 3, Eve is the key figure and very little
is said about Adam's thoughts or actions, but it is not valid to conclude
that the Fall ought to be blamed on Eve. There is no indication that
Adam was in any way compelled to eat the fruit or that the woman
tricked or seduced him in any way. We are simply told that Adam
``listened'' to the voice of his wife (Gen 3:6 and 17). He simply ``ate''
the fruit, and we have no indication in the text that he showed any
superiority of character or argued that the fruit ought not to be eaten Ð
despite God's instruction to him.
 25 CGM302-T/1

Thus other interpretations have been given to this passage. These insist
that both Adam and Eve ought to bear responsibility for the decision to
disobey God, as illustrated in the rich symbolism of this passage, which
stresses that both Adam and Eve were punished by God for their
deliberate disobedience. The consequences of the Fall were negative in
the extreme:
The fall affected a number of relationships in a very negative way.
God and humanity were alienated or separated from each other. The
unity and harmony between the woman and the man were shattered.
Even the relationship between humanity and the natural world
(symbolised by the serpent, ground, thorns and thistles) was
affected ...
After the fall men began to play the dominant role and women were
pushed into subservient positions. In the following chapter the men
led the clan, built cities, introduced polygamy, and were skilled
metal workers or musicians (Genesis 4:16±24). The role of the
women was to bear children and be passive observers of life. They
made no decisions and (unlike Eve Ð Gen 4:25) did not even name
their own children (Umtata women's theology Bible study series
1991:30±31).

Another verse that is relevant to our discussion is Genesis 3:16: ``Your

desire shall be for your husband and he shall rule over you''. This text
has also been interpreted in different ways. Some interpreters insist that
this verse forms the basis of a hierarchical view of nature and humanity
in which a certain order of precedence ought to be maintained.
According to such an interpretation, men ought always to be in a
superior and commanding position both in society as a whole and in
marriage and family relationships.
Other interpreters have disagreed strongly with this interpretation and
have insisted that the narrative in Genesis 3 is an account of the fall of
humanity and a serious going-wrong of God's original creation as
reflected in Genesis 1 and 2. For example, Genesis 2:23 reads as follows:
``And the man said, this is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh;
she shall be called woman, because she was taken out of man.'' There is
a great contrast between the joy expressed in Genesis 2:23 and the
picture of fall and domination illustrated in Genesis 3:16.
In a modern context we should remember that the story of redemption, as
portrayed in the Old and especially in the New Testament, stresses the
need for ``re-creation''. Of particular importance in this regard is 2
Corinthians 5:17 which states: ``Therefore if any man [person] is in
Christ he is a new creature; the old things have passed away; behold new
things have come.'' If this is true of other dimensions of human
existence, it should also be true of sexuality, gender relationships and
marriage.
These few examples, then, serve to illustrate the importance of the way
in which the Bible is interpreted in relation to gender and human
 26

sexuality. Subsequent study units will also refer to key biblical texts
because they have been, and remain, influential sources for discussions
of human sexuality and, in particular, sexual morality.
_________________________________________

Activity 3.3

Pause for a moment and think back on this study unit.

(1) Have you learnt anything new? If so, what?

(2) If the arguments presented here are familiar to you, why is this the
case?
_________________________________________
 27 CGM302-T/1

STUDY UNIT 4

Sexuality and Christian values

OUTCOMES
After working through this study unit, you should be able to:
. identify the connection between sexuality and values
. identify and assess what values, or lack of values, influence
people's sexual attitudes and behaviour
. apply certain criteria, including Christian values, to evaluate
sexual perceptions and actions

What, then, is the connection between sexuality and morality? We shall

begin by examining the notion of pleasure. Thereafter we shall note and
assess a few key moral values relevant to this discussion of human
sexuality.

4.1 SEX, ETHICS AND PLEASURE

_________________________________________

Activity 4.1

(1) How would you define pleasure in general and sexual pleasure in
particular?

(2) ``Sexual intercourse is an activity that people engage in and is on much

the same level as any other human activity such as going for a run or
brushing one's teeth.''

Do you agree or strongly disagree with this statement? Why?

(3) Is there, or should there be, a connection between sexuality and

morality? In other words, can we say that certain forms of sexual
behaviour are inherently wrong or have bad consequences? How would
you defend your views?

(4) Is it wrong for people to have sex simply for the sake of pleasure?
_________________________________________

Christian ethics It is sometimes thought that the purpose of Christian ethics is to turn
and pleasure human beings into sad, joyless creatures. It has often been assumed in
 28

the past that Christian discussions on sexual ethics are meant to deny
pleasure and to put forward a type of life that has neither joy nor pleasure
in it. These perceptions cannot be further from the truth. Although it is
true that Christian ethics seeks to create a framework in which sexual
pleasure can be enjoyed, it does not seek to destroy something God has
created. The basic approach of Christian theology is that sexual pleasure,
like any form of pleasure which God has created, can be either enjoyed
and nurtured or distorted and abused. In the same way that the pleasure
of eating can be totally misconstrued and turned into selfishness and
obesity, sexual pleasure, too, can be distorted. Similarly, the enjoyment
of beauty can become a selfish desire to possess an over-abundance of
material things instead of appreciating and enjoying what God has
created.
A very useful discussion, ``The Christian view of pleasure'', can be
found in William Barclay's book Ethics in a permissive society. Barclay
(1971:110) defines pleasure as follows:
Pleasure is that which is pleasant: and that which is pleasant is that
which is pleasing. Pleasure is that which a man [or woman] does
simply and solely to please himself [or herself].

In some philosophical traditions, as well as in Christianity, there are

those who deny or devalue all forms of pleasure. These people have
sought to do without sleep and food and have sought to cut themselves
off from any normal human relationships. In particular, men have
regarded women (and women have regarded men) as obstacles in their
search for God. In English, the word ``puritan'' has come to sum up a
joyless, pleasureless type of existence. To some extent, this under-
standing does Puritanism a disservice, since the early Puritans did not
espouse such an approach to life. However, certain later forms of
Puritanism did despise humour, laughter, pleasure and any form of
delight in other persons or in God's creation. It is because of this later
approach that the word ``puritanism'' has come to mean an approach to
life that is simply joyless.
moral precepts Despite traditions such as these, it can be argued that pleasure has a
about pleasure rightful place in the life of a Christian and, indeed, the generosity of God
in the creation of the world can be used as an argument that God derived
enormous pleasure from the act of creating an abundant variety of life
forms. According to Barclay (1971:121±123), a proper understanding of
pleasure, as opposed to a distorted understanding of pleasure, can be
indicated in the following moral precepts.
(i) ``No pleasure can be right if its effects on the person who indulges
in it are harmful.''
(ii) ``No pleasure can be right if its effect on others is harmful.''
(iii) ``A pleasure that becomes an addiction can never be right.''
(iv) ``A pleasure is wrong if to enjoy it the essentials of life have to take
less than their proper place.''
(v) ``Any pleasure that can be a source of danger to others must be very
carefully thought about.''
(vi) ``The ultimate test of any pleasure is: does it, or does it not, bring
regret to follow, and that pleasure which brings regret is wrong.''
 29 CGM302-T/1

These comments on pleasure are very helpful. They indicate ways in

which we can ascertain when pleasure is harmful and when it is not.
Barclay makes the point that pleasure that brings harm to ourselves or
harm to others cannot rightly be thought to be pleasure in the sense in
which God intended it. You will also notice that he is stressing the issue
of the effects or consequences of our actions in this discussion of
pleasure.
_________________________________________

Activity 4.2

Using the six moral precepts outlined above by Barclay as ``tests'', analyse
the following. In each case apply all six precepts and decide whether these
activities are to be judged as either ``genuine pleasure'' or ``wrong and
damaging activities''.

(1) People who very regularly consume a lot of food and drink.

(2) People who take drugs or sell drugs and/or addictive substances.

(3) People who demand sex from their partner when he/she is tired.

(4) People who practise rape or incest.

(5) What can activity 4.2 teach us about genuine versus abusive pleasure?
Can abusive pleasure be regarded as pleasure at all?
_________________________________________
_________________________________________

Activity 4.3

This picture, an advertisement for a perfume, appeared on the front page

of The Star.

ILLUSTRATION 4.1

Source: The Star, 20 December 2000

 30

(1) What are your immediate reactions to/feelings about this picture?

(2) Why do you think you feel like this about the picture?

(3) Now read a few comments from other people:

Comment 1. ``I am a woman and have been labelled `feminist' many a

time. I do not find the YSL Opium image offensive. Why?
Because it is one of the first mass media images of female
sexuality which is not dictated to from a male perspective.
This woman knows what she wants, and that is what people
find threatening.''
Comment 2. ``Had the ad been for a product purchased by men, I would
have agreed that it was once again a case of women being
exploited for commercial gain. But Opium is a woman's
product. All the ads I've seen for it have been in women's
magazines. How do I feel when I look at the ad? Not
degraded! Not exploited! I want to feel the way Sophie
seems to in the ad ... pampered, sexy, blissful. The ad isn't
saying ``here's a naked woman, buy our product''. It's
saying: ``Do you want to feel like this?''
Comment 3. ``I am Christian and I hate pornography but women are
beautiful and there is nothing wrong in admitting that. What
right does anyone have to tell me what I must find offensive
and degrading?''
Comment 4. ``No one seems to have a problem with washing powder ads
that always show women doing the washing, household
products that almost exclusively show women washing and
polishing floors. These ads are far more guilty of teaching
men not to respect women ... we're clearly nothing more
than household appliances.''
Comment 5. ``I would not be willing to pose for a picture like this because
my body is part of myself and cannot just be exposed to
public view in this manner. I also think it just encourages
those who like to undress women in their minds or are
woman-abusers of one kind or another Ð such as rapists.''
Comment 6. ``While every person is entitled to have their own opinion on
nudity and its impact on society and their own lives, it is
common knowledge that we need to protect our children
from images that would have a negative effect on shaping
their lives.''

(4) Does this picture promote pleasure? If so, for whom?

(5) According to Barclay's moral precepts, does it promote ``proper'' or

``improper'', ``healthy'' or ``unhealthy'' pleasure?

(6) Is anyone likely to be harmed by this advertisement?

(7) Would you be willing to pose for a photograph like this? Why, or why
not?

(8) Would you like to see a family member or friend in an advertisement

like this? If so, why? If not, why not?

(9) Do you think that people are positively or negatively influenced by such
presentations of human sexuality?
 31 CGM302-T/1

(10) What values, if any, are being promoted?

_________________________________________

Barclay's understanding of pleasure stands in sharp contrast to

understandings of pleasure common in our modern situation. If the
magazines, films and television programmes readily available are
anything to go by, pleasure is thought to be anything that gives one
even momentary enjoyment. This attitude can be summed up in the
adage ``if it itches, scratch''. In other words, many modern people are of
the opinion that if you want something, you may freely take it without
any regard to what is right or wrong or what may have positive or
negative results. Such a thoughtless and selfish approach is very different
to the approach outlined above by Barclay. It is at this point that the
differences between Christian approaches to human sexuality and selfish
approaches to human sexuality are most clearly revealed. This leads,
naturally, on to the issue discussed in the next subsection, namely
sexuality and moral values.

4.2 SEXUALITY AND MORAL VALUES

moral values in the There are a number of examples of moral values stressed in the Bible and
Bible in other Christian literature that are relevant to this discussion of human
sexuality. These include matters such as cultic purity, spiritual and sexual
fidelity, the joy of sexual love, the importance of the hidden realm of
thoughts and intentions, and the importance of an integration of the spirit
and the flesh.
Words such as purity and holiness are not much in fashion in our present
social contexts. They do, however, form an important basis of morality
both in the Bible and in Christian tradition. The basic ideas of purity and
holiness are associated with the notion of being ``set aside'' for God's
use and being fit instruments for God's use. In the Old Testament,
holiness was not related solely to the sacred objects used in temple
worship, but was essentially linked to the quality of moral righteousness
(Lev 19). In the prophetic books, great emphasis was placed on people
who wished to serve God rightly by being upright, holy and righteous in
their attitudes and actions. This stress on personal righteousness is also
found in Psalm 1:
1 How blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the
wicked,
Nor stand in the path of sinners,
Nor sit in the seat of scoffers!
2 But his delight is in the law of the LORD,
And in His law he meditates day and night.
3 And he will be like a tree firmly planted by streams of water,
Which yields its fruit in its season,
And its leaf does not wither;
And in whatever he does, he prospers.
The wicked are not so,
But they are like chaff which the wind drives away.
 32

5 Therefore the wicked will not stand in the judgment,

Nor sinners in the assembly of the righteous.
6 For the LORD knows the way of the righteous,
But the way of the wicked will perish.

In what way, do you think, do verses 1 and 2 link up with sexual

attitudes and behaviour? What actions will result in the different
experiences depicted in verses 3±6?
the holiness In the holiness tradition of Christian theology, great emphasis is placed
tradition on issues such as waiting upon God, living a life of order, obedience to
God, the pursuit of virtue, sobriety (ie not given to drunkenness),
righteousness, godliness, humility, resisting temptations, defeating old
habits, and the surrender of our wills to the will and purposes of God
(Foster & Smith 1993:212±297).
_________________________________________

Activity 4.4

(1) Re-read the above paragraph.

(2) Draw up a chart consisting of four columns with the following headings:

Christian The opposite Which of Which of

values of this value these are these are
sustained sustained in
in my my life? Give
community? examples.
Give
examples.
Life of order Life of chaos
and confusion

Obedience to Obedience
God to ...

(3) Now take each of the values mentioned here, for example living a life
of order, obedience to God, the pursuit of virtue, etcetera, and
complete the chart as indicated above.

(4) What do your comments reveal about the extent to which these
Christian values are regarded as important and are practised in our
personal and social lives?
_________________________________________
 33 CGM302-T/1

4.3 SEXUAL MORALITY IN THE OLD TESTAMENT

In the Old Testament, great emphasis was placed on cultic purity,
including such concepts as pure and impure, clean and unclean. Kosnik
(1977:19) explains as follows:
Demands for cultic purity in the Old Testament can be explained at
least in part by the awe that Israel shared with the ancient world in
regard to birth, death and sexual discharges. In these occurrences,
ancient people saw themselves as coming into contact with uncanny
powers beyond human control. Possessed by these powers, a person
could not enter into communion with God. The awe of blood
(Lev 15:19±24) helps to explain the taboo against having
intercourse with a woman during her menstrual period
(Lev 15:24; 18:19; 20:18). Likewise, the awe manifested towards
the male seed can shed some light on the Old Testament prohibition
against homosexual activity between men (18:22; 20:13), with no
reference to similar behaviour between women.
_________________________________________

Activity 4.5

(1) Read Deuteronomy 21, 22, 24 and 27.

Read Leviticus 15, 18 and 19.
Read Jeremiah 2.

(2) What forms of sexual behaviour are applauded or condemned in these

passages? Why?

(3) How do you respond to these texts? With approval, with disapproval?
Why?

_________________________________________

Kosnik (1977:19) continues:

Since uncleanness was an external ritual fault, not a moral failing in
our sense, the means of regaining purity consisted of washings and
other rituals (Lev 11±15).

some key texts Key texts in this regard are Leviticus 15 and 18. Other key chapters
include Deuteronomy 21, 22, 24 and 27. In both Deuteronomy 27:16±26
and in Leviticus 20:10±21 a number of sins are listed. These are a
combination of sexual practices regarded as an abomination by the Jews
and a variety of other sins relating to property ownership, grievous bodily
harm, and bribery. In other words, the ancient Hebrews did not regard
sexual sins alone as an abomination to the Lord; here they provide us with
various practices that they regarded as completely unacceptable. It is
significant that adultery (Lv 20:10) is condemned along with incest
 34

(Lv 10:12), homo-sexuality (Lv 20:13), sex with an animal (Lv 20:16)
and sexual intercourse during a woman's menstrual cycle (Lv 20:18).
How are we to interpret these passages in the modern context? While
most people would agree that bestiality (sex with an animal) is wrong,
many others would not agree that sexual intercourse during menstruation
is equally wrong Ð or wrong at all. But on what grounds can one
abstract certain texts as relevant to a moral code with reference to sexual
behaviour today while not regarding all these prohibitions as binding?
From the comments made above, some indications of a way ahead have
been provided. These include an understanding of the ancient Hebrew
perceptions of sexual discharges (for example blood and semen), which
were regarded as rendering a person unclean. Nevertheless, these
comments do not completely solve the difficulties of a passage such as
Leviticus 20:1021. Thus a text such as this one needs to be read
alongside other texts dealing with sexual morality.
In the prophetic book of Hosea, the writer uses the experience of Hosea
with his faithless wife to illustrate the way in which Israel had defiled its
relationship with God. In the same way that Hosea's wife ran after other
men, Israel had run after other gods. This book raises several issues
including matters such as sexual purity and religious faithfulness. The
prophet Amos also speaks of the sin of Israel:
Thus says the Lord, ``for three transgressions of Israel and for four I
will not revoke its punishment, because they sell the righteous for
money and the needy for a pair of sandals. Those who pant after the
very dust of the earth on the head of the helpless also turn aside the
way of the humble; and a man and his father resort to the same girl
in order to profane my holy name. And on garments taken as
pledges they stretch out beside every altar and in the house of their
God, they drink the wine of those who have been fined'' (Am 2:6±
8).

Similar passages linking sexual and cultic impurity can be found in

Hosea 4:1±3 and Jeremiah 2:20±25. This is what Hosea says:
1 Listen to the word of the LORD, O sons of Israel,
For the LORD has a case against the inhabitants of the land,
Because there is no faithfulness or kindness
Or knowledge of God in the land.
2 There is swearing, deception, murder, stealing, and adultery.
They employ violence, so that bloodshed follows bloodshed.
3 Therefore the land mourns,
And everyone who lives in it languishes
Along with the beasts of the field and the birds of the sky;
And also the fish of the sea disappear.

the Song of Songs In contrast to the emphases indicated above is the very lovely love story
recounted in the book called the Song of Songs or sometimes the Song of
Solomon. These few chapters tell the story of the love between two
people and include descriptions of the joy they experience in each other's
 35 CGM302-T/1

arms. The poetry included in this book is quite lovely and a myriad of
wonderful images are used to explain the way in which this man and
woman love each other:
10 My beloved responded and said to me,
`Arise, my darling, my beautiful one,
And come along.
11 `For behold, the winter is past,
The rain is over and gone.
12 `The flowers have already appeared in the land;
The time has arrived for pruning the vines,
And the voice of the turtledove has been heard in our land.
13 `The fig tree has ripened its figs,
And the vines in blossom have given forth their fragrance.
Arise, my darling, my beautiful one,
And come along!'
14 O my dove, in the clefts of the rock,
In the secret place of the steep pathway,
Let me see your form,
Let me hear your voice;
For your voice is sweet,
And your form is lovely.
_________________________________________

Activity 4.6

(1) Read the Song of Songs in the Old Testament, especially 4:1±7 and
5:10±16.

(2) Compare and contrast what the man says to the woman with what the
woman says to the man, using the following outline:

What the man says What the woman says

(3) What conclusion can be drawn from this comparison?

_________________________________________

The Song of Songs affirms the equality of men and women. It goes
beyond stereotypes Ð at times, the man is the lover and other times he is
the beloved. The same is true of the woman. In the patriarchal context of
the Bible, this is truly a glimpse of God's divine intention for men and
women Ð a relationship marked by honesty, trust, equality, intimacy
and love.
Thus, we gain a glimpse into those values that make genuine sexual
pleasure possible, a relationship founded on honesty, trust, equality,
intimacy and love.
 36

In short, then, the Old Testament is no stranger to the subject of sexual

morality and the centrality of relationships of fidelity and love. There is
an intimate connection between sexuality and morality.

4.4 SEXUAL MORALITY IN THE NEW TESTAMENT

thoughts and For Jesus, sexual morality needed to be expressed in practice and also
actions related to the hidden realm of thoughts, desires and intentions. This
means that the morality of the believer is judged not simply in relation to
obvious external or public behaviour but it also includes the hidden
motives or thoughts of the heart (Mt 5:8; 5:27±28; 15:1±20). This
emphasis on purity and fidelity is also found in the writings of the
apostle Paul. One important example is found in 1 Corinthians 7:1±40.
Read these texts before proceeding with this study unit.
Galatians 5 Galatians 5:13±24 deals with the contrast between walking according to
the spirit and walking according to the flesh (sarx). The use of the word
flesh in this context can sometimes create confusion. By stressing the
differences between the spirit and the flesh (wrongly understood as the
body) a false dualism has crept into the church. This dualism, contrary to
the biblical emphasis on both the body and the spirit being God-created,
introduces a tension between what is spiritual and what is physical.
_________________________________________

Activity 4.7

(1) Read Galatians 5:1±26.

(2) List the sins of the sinful nature (sarx). What consequences do these
have for individuals and families?

(3) List the fruit of the Holy Spirit. What effect would the practice of
these have on our personal lives and the moral fabric of our society?
_________________________________________

Thus many Christians have stressed the spiritual as being more important
than the physical or material. The original Greek word sarx does not
refer to the physical body as such, but it refers rather to the evil or sinful
nature. Paul is not saying that one must entirely deny and suppress the
physical aspect of one's personality and concentrate only on the spiritual
aspects. This is an unbiblical dualism. God, as the creator of both body
and soul, requires that our Christian faith be lived out in all realms of
human and social existence. What Paul means in this passage is that
Christians must live in a manner consistent with their new, spirit-filled
natures and not according to their old sinful natures. The fruit of the
spirit, which includes virtues such as love, self-control, faithfulness and
gentleness, ought to be developed or cultivated by the believer. By way
 37 CGM302-T/1

of contrast, the deeds of the flesh (sarx), which include slander, jealousy,
fornication and envy, are to be avoided and shunned by the Christian.
Both the body and the mind of a believer must be governed and led by
the Holy Spirit.
This interpretation is borne out by what Paul says in his first letter to the
Corinthians:
Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who
is in you, whom you have from God, and that you are not your
own? For you have been bought with a price Ð therefore glorify
God in your body (1 Cor 6:19±20).

sin against one's Timothy Radcliffe (1986:308±310) has argued that this text stresses an
own body affirmation of the body and rejects both the extremes of asceticism and
promiscuity which, he says, are based on a despising of the body.
Asceticism is a strict and disciplined avoidance of pleasure, including
sexual pleasure, whereas promiscuity is unrestricted sexual behaviour
that is not governed by either love or commitment. Paul's point in this
passage is that immorality is a sin because the immoral person sins
against his or her own body. Sinful sexual relations are a deviation from
the divine intention with regard to sexuality and result in the destruction
of one's own body and spirit in one or another form.
negative effects The negative effects of sexual immorality include not only obvious
examples such as sexually transmitted diseases, but also the moral and
emotional damage to one's psyche (soul/human spirit), which results
from sexual promiscuity. This means that a Christian sexual ethic insists
on a unity of body and soul: the whole person is affected by sin, whether
this be sexual sin or any other form of sin. In other words, the deeds of
one's body cannot be separated from one's relationship with oneself,
other people or God. (I will return to this issue of the interrelationship
between sexuality, spirituality and moral values in the last few units of
this study guide.)
In conclusion, then, it can be seen that in a study of human sexuality
from a Christian perspective, sexuality and morality are interrelated. This
study unit has shown that discussions on sexuality and morality need to
include an emphasis on purity, fidelity, love, good motives and an
integration (not dualistic separation) of body and spirit.
 38

STUDY UNIT 5

Human sexuality in historical context

OUTCOMES
After working through this study unit, you should be:
. more aware that ``we stand on the shoulders of those who have
gone before us'' (ie the past has an impact on the present)
. able to assess the nature of the impact of past ideas regarding
sexuality on present-day convictions and practices

In this study unit we shall introduce you to the range of attitudes to and
pronouncements about human sexuality within the Christian tradition.
We will pay particular attention to:
. the early church period
. the Middle Ages
. the Reformation
. the 20th century

5.1 SETTING THE SCENE

In his book entitled Sexual ethics: a biblical perspective, Stanley Grenz
makes the point that there have been various approaches to sexual ethics
in the history of the church. He says that Christians at the close of the
20th century ``find themselves living in a sex-orientated, or perhaps more
accurately, a sexually disorientated culture. Sex and sexual expression
are among the dominant characteristics of contemporary Western
culture'' (Grenz 1990:xi). This overemphasis on human sexuality is in
sharp contrast to the approach adopted during the first centuries which,
as we shall see below, elevated celibacy above all other forms of sexual
expression, or non-expression.
Grenz goes on to say that contemporary Western culture is offering a
strenuous challenge to the traditional notion that marriage is the proper
context for sexual expression. This can be seen in countless portrayals of
sexuality as practised outside the context of marriage in the public media
(television, radio and film) as well as in books, newspapers and
magazines. The impression is given that sexuality need not be restricted,
as has been traditionally argued by Christians, to a formal marital
relationship. As a result of the impact of Western culture on other parts
of the world, including Africa, many are discarding traditional values
concerning sexual behaviour.
 39 CGM302-T/1

the permissive age The fact that modern medical technology has made sexual intercourse
possible with very little risk of conception taking place has obviously
had a significant impact on modern sexual attitudes. Although the
modern scourge of AIDS (Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome) has
caused some people to exercise greater caution with regard to illicit
sexual relationships, significant numbers of people appear to completely
disregard the dangers of contracting AIDS or any other sexually
transmitted disease. The very high rate of teenage pregnancies in South
Africa is also a major cause for concern. The point is that modern
people's understanding of sexuality has all too clearly been influenced
by modern Western permissiveness, especially as a result of the influence
of national television.
Consider the following illustration which depicts the increase of sexual
experimentation amongst young people. The idea that sex need not be
restricted to marriage was a feature of ``the age of permissiveness'',
which greatly affected people's opinions regarding sex, especially during
the 1960s.
ILLUSTRATION 5.1
Making the 1960s swing. The contraceptive pill, created from synthetic
hormones, probably had a more profound effect on Western society than
any other medical discovery in the last 250 years.
Source: Stewart (1997:213)
 40

Note your emotional and mental reaction to this picture. Perhaps write a
sentence or two to record this reaction.
Barclay's book, which was quoted earlier, was written to question many
of the assumptions of this permissive (anything is permitted) age; hence
the title Ethics in a permissive society. We need to ask in what ways we
are influenced by the times in which we live and whether the values (or
lack of values) encouraged by our modern cultures are compatible with
our faith.
In other words, ought Christian theology simply to be swamped by
popular cultural perceptions? It is for this reason that it is valuable to
gain a broader understanding of Christian teaching on sexual matters
throughout the centuries.
sexuality and Another key factor in the modern discussion of human sexuality is that
culture of cultural perceptions of sexuality. Thus, African Christians have often
been critical of Western Christian perceptions and vice versa. But it is
simply not valid for Christians from one cultural group to be critical of
Christians from another cultural group without being critical of their own
cultural understandings of human sexuality. If it is true that Christian
faith ought to transform the cultures within which Christians live, rather
than Christians simply conforming to and being detrimentally influenced
by the cultures in which they live, then Christians the world over (and
particularly in South African context in which this study guide is written)
need to ask themselves which cultural expressions of attitudes and
practices of human sexuality are appropriate in the context of Christian
faith. Christians also need to identify those cultural perceptions or
practices that are incompatible with their faith.
_________________________________________

Activity 5.1

(1) What are the benefits (and disadvantages) of marriage for men? What
are the benefits (and disadvantages) of marriage for women?

(2) In a patriarchal society, who benefits the most from marriage?

(3) Is it true that many cultures have ``double standards'' with respect to
the sexual behaviour of men and women? For example married men may
have sexual relations outside of the marriage, but women may not?

(4) Why is this the case? Do you agree with these ``double standards''?

(5) Which is more highly prized in your community: marriage or singleness?

(6) Is it your aim to live a celibate life? Why?

(7) Within marriage, what is the purpose of sex?

(8) According to Genesis 1, 2 and 3, is sex part of the creation or part of

the fall? What are the implications of your answer? Is sex inherently
good, though tainted by sin or inherently bad and always sinful?
_________________________________________
 41 CGM302-T/1

5.2 SEXUALITY AND THE EARLY CHURCH

Before embarking on a description of the response of the church to the
surrounding cultures of the 1st, 2nd and 3rd centuries CE, it is first
necessary to gain some idea of sexual attitudes and practices in the 1st
century.
sexuality in the In the Jewish culture of the 1st century, sexual morality was fairly
Jewish culture carefully regulated and great emphasis was placed on marriage being
exercised in the context of the Jewish law. Thus Old Testament
regulations on human sexuality were emphasised and the priestly caste,
together with the community, regulated sexual practices. This can be
seen, for example, in the story of the woman caught in adultery who was
brought to Jesus. This does not mean that Jews always upheld the law on
sexual practices, for Jesus's emphasis on the sanctity of marriage in
Matthew 19:39 indicates the failure of people to respect their marriage
vows. Jesus's point in this passage is that wives cannot simply be
divorced at the whim of their husbands. The very fact that Jesus
emphasises the importance of marriage in this text is an indication to us
that certain persons were not fulfilling the expectations of marital
faithfulness. According to Kosnik (1977:14):
Israelite society thus permitted men great latitude in sexual
relations, as long as they respected the rights of their countrymen
to a clear line of inheritance. Women, however, were bound to
unconditional fidelity. They were not permitted extra-marital sex
relations, lest they endanger the legitimacy of their husbands'
progeny. Virginity in women, but not in men, was considered a
prime quality in the choice of a partner, and the marriage fee was
fixed accordingly, with laws to enforce compliance. Polygamy,
concubinage, and extra-marital intercourse with slaves and
prostitutes were legally countenanced for the male.

Nevertheless, it would appear that marital sexual morality was more

highly prized in Jewish culture than it was in other surrounding cultures,
particularly those of Greece and Rome. This can be seen in the emphasis
on sexual faithfulness in the writings of the Old Testament prophets.
Several of these passages were mentioned in the previous study unit.
In both Roman and Greek culture, the position of women was an
extremely subservient one (Cary & Haarhoff 1961). Women were
expected to remain within the private sphere, at home, and were
generally regarded not as their husbands' partners, but as subservient
members of the family whose duty it was to regulate the home and
produce children for the perpetuation of the family name. With the
possible exception of wealthy, educated women, the lot of the female
middle classes and underclasses of Greek and Roman society was not an
enviable one. This meant that marriage was not highly prized and
companionship was generally sought outside marriage by their husbands.
Consequently, adulterous affairs were extremely common as were illicit
relationships with slaves. It was also fairly common for men to engage in
 42

homosexual relationships. A further sexual outlet was regular visits to

the temple prostitutes provided by pagan religion. In a bizarre re-
enactment of agricultural fertility, both male and female prostitutes were
provided for public use; sexual intercourse was thought to somehow
ensure the fertility of the crops and domestic animals. It is clear that in
such a cultural context, both the Jewish and Christian emphasis on
sexual morality was most unusual. It was not uncommon for Christians
to stand out very clearly from their neighbours as a result of their
emphasis, first, on the value of marriage, and secondly on the importance
of sexual faithfulness within marriage. [Students may wish to consult
Wayne Meeks's extensive discussion, The origins of Christian morality:
the first two centuries, published in 1993.]
marriage and The Christians of the first few centuries emphasised the importance of
marital fidelity marriage and of the body as a God-given gift. In contrast to religious
philosophies such as Gnosticism, Christians did not espouse a duality of
the body and the soul. They emphasised that both the body and soul had
been created by God and therefore both body and soul were subject to
the Lordship of Christ. This meant that the body in general, and sexual
pleasure in particular, ought not to be denigrated or repressed. What was
necessary, from a Christian perspective, was that sensual pleasure was to
be experienced within a moral framework. Marriage was regarded as the
only sphere in which sexual expression could be rightly exercised. As
Grenz (1990:xiii) puts it:
The sex-affirming, morality demanding position of the church was
capsulized by the simple injunction of the author of the Epistle to
the Hebrews: ``Marriage should be honoured by all, and the
marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and the
sexually immoral'' (Hebrews 13:4).

How, then, did those who espoused the Christian faith respond to the
sexual attitudes and practices of the first few centuries? Their central
emphasis has already been mentioned, that is the emphasis on marriage
and on marital fidelity. In 1 Corinthians 7:9 Paul writes:
If they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better
to marry than to burn with passion.

A second strong emphasis that emerged, particularly towards the end of

the third century, was the emphasis on celibacy.
celibacy Celibacy stressed the ideal of virginity and also the ideal of renouncing
all forms of sexual expression for the sake of Christ. Particularly towards
the end of the third century and into the early Middle Ages, celibacy
replaced persecution as a significant mark of Christian discipleship and
commitment. (It will be remembered that after the conversion of the
emperor Constantine in 313 CE, Christianity became the ``official''
religion of the Roman Empire. Whatever doubt may be held by scholars
concerning the validity of this conversion, as well as the very many
negative consequences for Christianity as a result of becoming an
 43 CGM302-T/1

``official'' religion of the empire, this change did mean that the very
heavy persecution of Christians ceased.)
Grenz has argued that, as a result of the influence of theologians such as
Origen, and the body-denying culture of Greek philosophy, certain texts in
the New Testament that extolled celibacy were greatly emphasised. Thus
passages such as 1 Corinthians 7:26 and Matthew 19:12, which emphasise
the celibate state, were increasingly regarded as the norm for many
thousands of Christians rather than being an exception to the rule.
This increasing emphasis on celibacy through several centuries
eventually led to the decision of the first Lateran Council in 1123 CE
to impose celibacy on the clergy. This meant that any man (all clergy
were, of course, male during this period) who entered the priesthood
would have to take a vow of celibacy. This was the case in the Roman
Catholic Church. But celibacy, although preferred, was not imposed on
priests in the Eastern or Greek Orthodox tradition. From 1123 CE until
today celibacy has been expected of all Roman Catholic priests.
In response to growing moral laxity after the 3rd century CE, certain
Christians withdrew into the desert and initiated what has since been
called the Desert Fathers' tradition. Such persons, some of them women,
withdrew into the deserts (mainly in Egypt) in order to seek solitude and
withdraw from the temptations of the world. Whereas the faith of the
Desert Fathers and Mothers provided an extremely important element in
Christian theology and spirituality, one side-effect of this ascetic
emphasis was that both marriage and human sexuality were somewhat
repressed, even denigrated.

5.3 SEXUALITY IN THE MIDDLE AGES

monasticism During the Middle Ages, monasticism replaced the Desert Fathers'
tradition as a central means of expressing one's dedication to God.
Consequently, many thousands of men and women entered monasteries
or convents and withdrew from the world. Whereas the convents which
were reserved for women tended to be more reclusive (ie living in
exclusion or isolation), the male monastic traditions still provided
avenues of contact with the local community. For the purposes of this
discussion, however, it is important to remember that one of the vows
taken either by a nun or a monk was the vow of chastity.
It is significant that in the 20th century there is a renewed emphasis on
spirituality and even on the monastic traditions. It would appear that
certain members of modern Western society, sickened by the consumer-
ism and immorality of our age (in the same way that the Desert Fathers
(or Mothers) were sickened by the materialism and immorality of their
own age), are turning to solitude and the religious orders as a means of
re-dedication to God and service to humanity.
Augustine An important reason for the extensive emphasis on celibacy in the Early
and Medieval church is the fact that the vast majority of Christian
theologians during this period were celibate, male priests. As can be
expected, their own struggles with sexual temptation influenced their
 44

theological discussions of human sexuality in general and marriage in

particular. A case in point is the theology of St Augustine of Hippo (354±
430). As can be determined from Augustine's famous book, Confessions,
it can be seen that Augustine himself experienced many difficulties in the
area of sexual lust. Before becoming a Christian, he engaged in several
immoral sexual relationships. He was also at one point influenced by the
religion of Manichaeism, a dualistic religious philosophy that
emphasised the struggle between good and evil. The Manichaeans,
like the Gnostics, taught that the human body or flesh was itself
inherently evil. In Augustine's theology, after his conversion, both the
goodness of God's creation and the evil of the fall of humanity were
stressed. Augustine tended, however, to greatly emphasise the fallenness
of human nature, and to link this to sexual temptation and lust (Grenz
1990:xv):
... sexual intercourse is the transmitter not only of life from one
generation to the next, but also of original sin. Second, because of
its unavoidable link to passion and thus to compulsiveness, every
act of coitus is tainted by evil, he asserted. Even limiting the
practice of the sex act to the boundaries of marriage could not free it
from this bondage to lust. In this way Augustine's view coincided
with a quite literal interpretation of the cry of the Psalmist, ``In sin
did my mother conceive me'' (Psalm 51:5). At best, marriage was
useful as a way of channelling passion towards a useful end,
procreation.

Despite the fact that Augustine did also develop a positive theology of
marriage in which he argued that the union of marriage is blessed by
God, this overemphasis on the human sinful nature and the link between
sin and sex was to have profound implications for the development of
Christian theologies of marriage in subsequent periods. According to
Kosnik (1977:37), the Christian attitude towards human sexuality at the
end of the Patristic era was generally pessimistic:
Although sexuality of itself was recognised as good because of its
procreative function, the pleasure attached to sex was viewed as a
consequence of original sin. The experience of sexual pleasure,
therefore, even indeliberate, and even within marriage for the
purpose of procreation, was regarded somehow as tainted with sin.
This attitude, however, did not necessarily reflect the full
experience of the total church. To a lesser extent, the Fathers also
recognised the values of mutual love and support between husband
and wife.

Kosnik (1977:40) goes on to say that during the early Middle Ages (6th
to 10th century):
The attitudes towards human sexuality ... were undoubtedly heavily
influenced by the limited understanding of biology prevalent at the
time, by the sense of cultic purity, by the Stoic mistrust of pleasure
and by a dominant emphasis on the procreative purpose of
sexuality. Beneath the surface, however, we can discern, especially
 45 CGM302-T/1

in the intricate rules for regulating sexual conduct, an appreciation

of human sexuality as a powerful force in maintaining personal
dignity and in building human community.

marriage as a During the high Middle Ages (11th to 14th century) the movement to
sacrament accept marriage as fully sacramental was pursued and completed. Albert
the Great and Thomas Aquinas were very important in this regard.
During this time, however, many of the negative perceptions towards
sexuality were continued. Thus:
In the tradition of the Fathers, the schoolmen taught that sex was
permitted only within marriage and primarily for the sake of
procreation. The male seed was the active principle, and its
procreative end governed all speculation on sexual ethics. Women
were of no real value except as receptacles for the seed Ð gardens,
as it were, for human reproduction. The fact that most theological
thinking took place within monasteries resulted in the exultation of
virginity at the expense of marriage (Kosnik 1977:41).

There were some exceptions to this rule. Abelard, Albert the Great
(1200±1280), and to some extent Thomas Aquinas, emphasised the
natural goodness of sex and the importance of marriage. But, by and
large, many of the earlier negative perceptions persisted. Thus, during
the Middle Ages, celibacy remained the highest expression of Christian
devotion with marriage, although it was regarded by the Roman Catholic
Church as a sacrament, coming a very poor second.
_________________________________________

Activity 5.2

(1) Before reading on, compare your answers to the questions in activity
5.1 to the information provided above concerning early church and
medieval views on marriage and celibacy.
_________________________________________

Please note that celibacy is further discussed in study unit 7.

5.4 HUMAN SEXUALITY FROM THE 16TH CENTURY ONWARDS

_________________________________________

Activity 5.3

(1) What does the word ``Puritan'' suggest to you? What do you think it
means Ð especially with regard to sexuality?
_________________________________________
 46

the Protestants and The Protestant Reformation resulted not only in the formation of entirely
marriage new denominations, but also in a substantial revision of sexual ethics. In
contrast to the emphasis on celibacy common in the Medieval period, the
Protestant reformers placed a much greater emphasis on marriage.
Prominent persons such as Martin Luther (1483±1546) denounced their
previous vows of celibacy (Luther had been trained as a priest) and
entered into marriage. Catherine von Bora, who became Luther's wife,
had previously been a nun in a convent. In general terms, then, the
Reformers were highly critical of the monastic tradition or, rather, the
way in which the monastic tradition had been overemphasised by the
Catholic Church. Many hundreds, even thousands, of people who had
previously been monks and nuns left the monasteries and entered into the
state of marriage. John Calvin himself also married.
During the English Reformation, ironically initiated by the King Henry
VIII's attempts to get rid of a succession of allegedly ``barren'' wives in
his drive to produce a male heir to the English throne, the influence of
the monasteries waned. In his quest to break the power of the Catholic
Church (and the Pope) and to establish himself as the Protector of the
Faith within the realm of England via the newly formed Anglican
Church, Henry VIII ordered the dissolution of a great many monasteries.
These properties were sold or given to his supporters and the monks and
nuns forced to leave. This is an extreme example of the fact that within
the Protestant tradition, the monastic tradition was neither encouraged
nor perpetuated, although certain forms such as the Benedictine tradition
were not entirely obliterated and the monastic tradition later revived, but
to a limited extent. In the Protestant churches, ministers of religion were
free to marry and most did so.
the Puritans Out of the 16th century Reformation developed the tradition of
Puritanism. During the earlier part of the development of Puritanism,
particularly as it was practised in the Netherlands, England and Scotland,
there was a life-affirming tradition which, contrary to the monastic
tradition, emphasised the importance of marriage, family and children.
According to Grenz (1990:xvii±xviii):
The Puritans viewed sexual activity as more than a physical drive,
for it was an expression of deep love, the love that is to exist
between Christian spouses. As a result, the Puritans did not limit the
function of the sex act to procreation. Instead they celebrated the
relational aspect of the marriage bond and the attentive care spouses
were to give to one another ... the real Puritan revolution was to
move the passions of love and sex from adulterous romances into
the marriage bed.

Later, however, Puritanism became increasingly associated with a world-

denying approach, particularly during the period of the Civil War and
Cromwell's rule over England (1642±1660). This approach viewed all
pleasure, including sexual pleasure, in a negative light.
(Several key issues relevant to family relationships and human sexuality
 47 CGM302-T/1

during the 18th and 19th centuries are discussed below Ð see study unit
6.)

5.5 HUMAN SEXUALITY IN THE 20TH CENTURY

_________________________________________

Activity 5.5

(1) How influential is the church today in terms of influencing people's

sexual views and behaviour? Consider this question both in general and
in the context in which you live.

(2) Are contraceptives (such as condoms or the pill) freely available in

your community?

(3) If you have teenage children, do you speak to them about sex? Would
you encourage them to use contraceptives? Why? Or why not?
_________________________________________

secularisation Attitudes to human sexuality in the 20th century, as we have already

pointed out, have continued certain of the earlier traditions of the
Christian church, but were also profoundly influenced by cultural
changes, particularly in the Western world. The first of these cultural
changes is the growth of secularisation, as a result of which the social
power of religion has significantly declined. Thus, whereas in previous
ages the church held sway over both life and morality, the decline of the
power of the church has led to people's attitudes and actions being more
strongly influenced by other philosophies. Secular humanism, for
example, has stressed that humanity is the centre of the universe and
human reason is the arbitrator for morality. This is in sharp contrast to a
theocratic or theocentric understanding of the world, in terms of which
human behaviour ought to be regulated according to the will and
commandments of God.
relativism Relativism was another strong influence in 20th century Western
thought. According to the relativists, all morality is relative, that is
relativism denies any absolute moral principles such as fidelity within
marriage. Drawing heavily on approaches such as situation ethics and
philosophical postmodernism, the relativists say that each situation ought
to be evaluated in its own context and Christian principles have no
general and, certainly, no absolute bearing on human relationships.
While many people would agree that each particular situation is
important in evaluating the morality of a certain action, it is quite another
matter to say that the situation is all-important and that general moral
principles are completely irrelevant. The attitude of the relativist can
perhaps best be summed up in the slogan ``If it's right for you, do it''.
This slogan assumes that what might be right for one person is not
 48

necessarily right for another person. So, if a particular person feels

inclined towards a certain action, they are free to perform that action.
Again, whereas Christians would agree that the actions of particular
individuals are important, they would not agree that the perceptions of
individuals are necessarily right or free from personal prejudice or self-
gratification Ð often at the expense of others.
medical The development of medical technologies has also influenced sexual
technologies attitudes and practices. Although it is true that contraceptive methods of
varying degrees of efficiency have been used since the earliest recorded
history, these methods were not always successful. Consequently,
persons who wished to engage in illicit sexual activity were very often
restrained by the thoughts of the possible consequences. Thus,
adulterous affairs and relationships between unmarried persons were to
some degree regulated by the fear of pregnancy. To a large extent, this is
no longer so. In fact, one of the major reasons why the Catholic Church
has consistently been opposed to artificial means of contraception is that
these methods, they say, encourage sexual licentiousness and
irresponsibility.
In our own age the easy availability of a variety of contraceptive devices
has led to an explosion of sexual activity outside marriage. Although few
will deny the value of contraceptives for married couples, in order to
prevent the endless production of more children who have to be cared
for, the use of contraceptives outside marriage has been much more
controversial. In particular, widespread sexual activity among teenagers
in the 20th and 21st centuries is a very disturbing development. The
issue of teenage sex outside of marriage was highlighted in illustration
5.1. The vast increase in teenage pregnancy in South Africa, for
example, belies the assertion that contraceptive means are readily at
hand. Many teenagers are sexually active, but do not use contraceptives.
In addition, HIV/AIDS (see study unit 15) seriously raises issues of the
consequences of promiscuity.
Having briefly outlined some of the main periods of church history and
the perceptions of and pronouncements about human sexuality that have
issued from a variety of Christian leaders, we can now look closer to
home, that is to Africa.
 49 CGM302-T/1

STUDY UNIT 6

Human sexuality in an African

and South African context
It is important to include a section on human sexuality in an African and
South African context, seeing that this is the situation faced by most of
the people who will be completing this module. If your context is a
different one, remember to include the insights and particular problems
that are relevant to your own context, where relevant, in your
assignments and examination answers.

OUTCOMES
After working through this study unit, you should be able to:
. identify the links between sexuality, economic production and
social relations
. explain and evaluate the effects of urbanisation on families in
Africa
. describe the changes in the expectations, status and roles of
women
. assess the personal and social effects of the perpetual childhood of
women in traditional African society

_________________________________________

Activity 6.1

(1) If capitalism is based on economic usefulness and profit, what impact

has this ``value'' had on family and sexual relations?

(2) Are loyalty, service and commitment highly valued in your community
and family?

(3) Who is expected to be loyal, committed and willing to serve?

(4) If someone is no longer ``useful'', can they be discarded?

_________________________________________
 50

6.1 ECONOMIC PRODUCTION AND SOCIAL RELATIONS

capitalism In a previous study guide used for this module (Hulley & Mofokeng
1982), Takatso Mofokeng included a long section on the importance of
the economic contexts in which marriage and other social relationships
function. He pointed out that human beings are basically preoccupied
with the production, sustenance and reproduction of life and, in order to
achieve these needs, they organise themselves into family, clan and other
social units (Hulley & Mofokeng 1983:1). Because the predominant
mode of production in South Africa is capitalist, he argued that we ought
to take cognisance of the effect of economic structures on families and
individuals. While, to some extent, post-1994 South Africa has changed
from the socio-economic context of the apartheid era, many of the issues
raised by Mofokeng in 1982 are still applicable to our situation.
transience One feature of our economic situation is that of transience. By this we
mean that people live in a ``throw-away culture'' when nothing seems to
be permanent and relationships are taken up and discarded in a
seemingly casual manner. Anderson and Guernsey (1985:51)
characterise this dominant cultural atmosphere thus:
We live in a time of personal drift marked by throw-away
relationships, by transience, and by terrible impermanence. Nothing
lasts.

Mofokeng also argues that this leads to a contractual type of relationship,

even between married partners:
In the negotiations leading up to the drawing up of the contract, the
dominant motive is what one can gain or get out of the contract and
not what one can give. In other words, the contract is an
embodiment of this motive (Hulley & Mofokeng 1983:4).

consumerism Mofokeng also makes the point that the production-centred nature of our
economy tends to result in people being regarded from the viewpoint of
consumerism. This means that if a person [product] no longer satisfies
my needs or desires, I can simply discard this person. In other words,
usefulness is more highly prized than fidelity or loyalty.

6.2 URBANISATION
_________________________________________

Activity 6.2

(1) How would you define urbanisation and what impact has urbanisation
had on your family?

(2) Describe your family. Who are its members? Who are its leaders?
 51 CGM302-T/1

(3) Describe and evaluate the ``parenting'' you received? Is this an example
of parenting you would like to copy and practise in your own family?

(4) Read this account of a day in the life of Mary.

Mary wakes early. She goes through to the kitchen and makes coffee
and starts the porridge for breakfast. It is school holidays which
means she has had to arrange somewhere for the children to go. She
makes sure they are dressed and have eaten breakfast. She then
drops them off at the baby-sitter's and goes to work. Work is busy but
she gets through her tasks. There is a meeting which will end after
5.00 pm which means that she must make other arrangements for the
children as the baby-sitter has to go out after 5.00 pm. During her
lunch break she fetches the children and drops them at a friend
before rushing back to work Ð having eaten an apple on the way.
After the meeting she again fetches the children and then comes
home to start getting dinner ready. Once home, she finds that they
have run out of milk but that is just too bad Ð she does not want to
leave the children alone to go out and buy milk.
Her husband, Joe, wakes up, eats breakfast and goes to work. He
has a busy day with a couple of meetings. After the morning meeting
they decide to go out to lunch. They go to the restaurant down the
road. On the way home from work he stops in at the shop to buy
cigarettes. When he gets home the children are bathed and dinner is
ready.
(5) What are your reactions to the experiences of Joe and Mary?

(6) To what extent does this describe your day? What is similar or
different in relation to your own experience?

(7) Explain why. Consider race, class and gender in your answer.
_________________________________________

industrialisation Urbanisation, together with industrialisation, had a huge impact on

Western society particularly from the 18th century onwards. As a result
of the move away from family-centred businesses, in which the whole
family was employed ``at home'' in creating wealth for the family,
industrialisation led to mass production centred on factories in the
manufacturing areas of Britain. This led to men, and increasingly
women, leaving their homes for shorter or longer periods to work in
other places for their living. This obviously had an impact on family
structures and interrelationships.
Similarly, in South Africa, a previously agrarian and rural economy
began to be strongly influenced as a result of the discovery of gold and
diamonds in the middle to late 1800s. First whites and then blacks
became increasingly caught up, as labour units, in the mining and
manufacturing sectors. While the impact on the white population was
significant, the impact on the black population was much greater because
it led to the practice of migrant labour. Urbanisation was partly a
voluntary phenomenon in which people freely chose to move from the
rural areas to the urban areas in search of work and a different way of
life. But it also was an involuntary process, by which blacks, in
particular, were forced to earn wages in order to pay taxes such as the hut
 52

and poll taxes. At first it was the men who travelled to the cities or
mining areas in search of work, leaving their wives and children behind.
In order to retain their possession of the land, men seldom took their
wives with them to the areas where they worked. In some cases, wives
followed their husbands and many previously rural black citizens of the
country became urban inhabitants, which later led to the creation of large
townships clustered around the ``white'' cities.
Those families who retained their hold on the land in traditional tribal
areas were deprived of their husbands' presence for as long as 11 months
of the year. This led to enormous social and marital dislocation. Wives
left behind in the rural areas simply had to take on roles traditionally
exercised by their absent menfolk and be both the mothers and fathers in
their families. They also had to make many family, economic and even
clan decisions in the absence of their husbands. This gave them a greater
measure of independence, but it also led to the experience of enormous
and crippling poverty. The male migrant labourers, in turn, found
themselves isolated from village and clan life in the cities and many of
them either developed temporary relationships with women in the urban
areas or even married a second wife. This led to tensions developing
between the needs of their wife and family in the urban areas and the
needs of their wife and family in the rural areas. In some instances, these
men remained in the cities never to return home. In other instances, they
lived a bipolar existence with their urban and rural families.
breakdown of Urbanisation also led to a degree of ``culture shock'' because the values
traditional and forms of behaviour in the city quite often did not resemble
customs traditional patterns of sexual morality in the rural areas. (Polygamy is
discussed in study unit 9.) Whilst in the rural areas family life was still
largely governed by traditional African understandings of marriage and
family, in the urban areas these traditional checks and balances did not
operate. Particularly in recent years it has been common for young men
to make young women pregnant and then, in order to escape the anger of
the village chiefs or the local minister or priest, they have simply escaped
to the cities leaving behind a young, unmarried and pregnant girl. In such
instances it is very difficult to deal with the negative consequences for
the young woman because it is virtually impossible for the young man
either to marry the young woman in question, or to provide for the child
in some way. Thus it is that many thousands of young women have been
deprived of a chance to continue their education and procure well-paid
jobs, because they are compelled to rear the children of such transient
alliances. In some instances, these children are taken up by the wider
family, either by the parents or other members of the extended family
such as aunts and grandmothers who are then responsible for raising the
child. Clearly, these situations are not ideal and have had a bad effect on
family life.
The number of single parents, especially single mothers, is increasing.
Some women are abandoned by the father of the child, others are
divorced and some choose to have children, but not to get married.
Singleness has a number of advantages (see study unit 7), but also some
 53 CGM302-T/1

disadvantages, especially if there are children. The whole burden (and

joy) of child care is on one person instead of being shared by the mother
and father. This often has a negative impact on the adults and the
children. However, many women say it is better to be single, without a
husband who may abuse them and their children, take their money and
make continual demands.

6.3 CHANGES IN THE EXPECTATIONS, STATUS AND ROLES OF

WOMEN
women in the Whereas 50 to 100 years ago especially women from the middle and
public sphere upper classes did not ``go out to work'', it has become very common in
contemporary society for a woman to have some form of employment
outside the home. This is not to deny that the work done by women in
the domestic context is work, but it is to make the point that women have
increasingly extended their influence to the public sphere. In work
outside the home, women have very often been treated in a
discriminatory way and even today are commonly paid a lower wage
than men for the same work if the employer can manage to get away with
unfair labour practices.
effects on the The practice of women leaving the home for long periods has clearly
family affected family life. Whereas middle-class and upper-class women can
alleviate the effects of this to some extent by having full-time domestic
workers or sending their children to creÁches, and by being in a position
to travel to and from work relatively quickly, poorer women, especially
black women, generally leave home at 4.00 or 5.00 in the mornings and
only return between 4.00 and 7.00 in the evenings, if not later. This
means that children are left unsupervised at home for long periods.
Poverty, either as a result of low wages or of their husbands not being
employed, compels these women to seek work in the labour market.
This situation raises the whole issue of parenting and what is considered
to be ``men's work'' and ``women's work''. It also raises questions about
how children are to be reared in poor families where both mother and
father are away most of the time, and are both physically and
emotionally distanced from the children.
Another important matter is where a woman is paid a larger salary than
her husband. While for many years women were usually paid lower
wages than their husbands, some women have recently been more
successful in the labour market than their husbands. This often has led to
inordinate pressures being exerted on the marital and family life of these
persons. Husbands in this situation often feel threatened and this has led
to marital strife, particularly when decisions have to be made about how
the money is to be spent.
One of the reasons for conflicts arising as a result of the differing salaries
being earned by the husband and wife is the varying perceptions of the
status and roles of women. Whether one is looking at the situation from
the perspective of a generally Western culture or a traditionally rural
African culture, stresses and strains are the inevitable result. Thus, I have
 54

been reliably informed that a major point of debate within rural and
township areas in South Africa today is whether men ought to marry an
educated wife, with the material and educational advantages this brings
for the family, or whether men would prefer to marry an uneducated
wife, preferably from the rural areas. It is often thought that a wife
chosen from the latter group will be less likely to challenge her
husband's authority. This raises issues about how the authority of the
man within the family context ought to be understood. Is the man to be
the unchallenged, dominant head of the family, or is authority to be
shared between the two partners, based on their varying gifts, knowledge
and experience?

6.4 THE PERPETUAL CHILDHOOD OF WOMEN IN

TRADITIONAL AFRICAN SOCIETY
Consider the following illustration:

ILLUSTRATION 6.1
Treating women as minors, subject to the control of their husbands, is
clearly unconstitutional.

Source: Brimohanlall in Pillemer and Shackleton (1999:80)

Why can this woman not access a home loan? Can her husband access a
home loan without her permission? Why?
According to Bongani Jili (1995:4), traditional Zulu culture did not
accord to women a very high status:
 55 CGM302-T/1

The Nguni culture and the law, especially that of the Zulus, have
stressed the status of a woman in marriage as being that of a
``minor'', a little bit higher [than that] of her female children but
less than that of her male children, especially the first born. Cultural
sexism does not give the woman a right even to rule her family after
her husband's death. If she has no sons, or if her sons are still
minors, a male from the family, eg her husband's brother, will take
over until the eldest son reaches maturity.

The sexism of this cultural context was reinforced by the South African
social structures (Wilson & Ramphele 1989:178):
The society has been structured in such a way that women are
compelled to be unusually dependent financially on their husbands.
Moreover, the combination of the migrant system, traditional law,
and the sexism of both black and white society can be crippling for
widows. For instance, if her husband dies on the mines, her money
comes through the magistrate who decides how much she should
get each month. Furthermore, to wind up the estate, there has to be a
male relative who becomes the effective custodian.

Jili (1995:8) recalls:

I remember a case in 1988 in the Mission where I was serving as an
assistant Priest. In the early 1970s a marriage was solemnised in
that mission. The husband was a migrant labourer coming home
twice a year and whenever the need arose. When they had three
children, he went to work and never came home again. He did not
write or send any money. In 1988 he came back from Johannesburg
with another woman whom he had married in a church in
Johannesburg. He already had four children with his second wife.
The migrant labour system had turned this particular man into a
polygamist.

Another comment on the effects of migrant labour and the apartheid

system can be cited (Senekane 1995:30):
Apartheid exposed black families to oppression and exploitation by
white South Africans. This system denied black marriage its
independence and dignity. The migrant labour system which has for
so long been a feature of South African society reveals the interplay
between economic greed, political ideology and sexist discrimina-
tion. Even though South Africa was economically healthy, black
marriages struggled to survive as married couples were denied the
comfort and security necessary for stable marriages. Young people
were denied mobility and housing. Because most of the land was
owned by white South Africans, there was very little possibility of
acquiring land with the result that men were forced to leave their
homes to go to the cities to find jobs. Poverty became a way of life.
 56

Back home, women took control of the whole household and ran
the affairs of a family. It was only when money ran out altogether or
there was sickness in the home that wives travelled to their
husbands in the cities for help. Consequently the visit of a wife at
the work place of the husband was seen as a symbol of misfortune.
Sometimes such wives received help and found a faithful husband
ready to care for them, but, more often than not, due to loneliness,
separated from his wife and in stark hostel accommodation,
husbands were found to be committed to other women and because
of that many marriages broke up.

Senekane (1995:32) goes on to say:

A father's traditional high status and authority in his family has
since been modified. The wife and children demand a greater share
in the fruits of the husband's and father's activities. A man's status
in the eyes of his family and the society is more dependent upon his
economic success than used to be the case. Today, if a wife feels her
husband is squandering money and neglecting her or their children,
she may caution him or even threaten to leave him.

Furthermore, with the new constitution in South Africa, new laws are
replacing old practices and customs. Some traditional ways under
customary law (law that develops within a community and reflects their
practices and traditions) might now be illegal. These new laws recognise
the full equality between husbands and wives. Now, a wife has legal
powers and can enter into contracts, acquire assets, take a case to court,
etcetera, without the consent of her husband.
_________________________________________

Activity 6.3

(1) Think for a moment about the lives of people such as your grand-
mother, mother, aunts and sisters Ð to what extent can it be said that
they were treated as ``perpetual minors''?

(2) Why was this so Ð or not so?

(3) If you are a man, ask yourself whether you think the women in your life
ought to be expected to obey you? Why?

(4) If you are a woman, to what extent have you internalised (accepted as
true for yourself) the perpetual childhood of women. Why?
_________________________________________

This study unit has indicated the massive impact that urbanisation,
migrant labour, the loss of land rights and poverty have had on black
family life in South Africa. The resulting social and family dislocation
 57 CGM302-T/1

has had an incalculable effect on marriage and family life. The most
obvious results are seen in marital conflict and breakdown, adulterous
relationships, juvenile delinquency, teenage pregnancy, child abuse and
the ever-growing population of ``street-kids''.
Although the results of apartheid structures on black families are more
obvious and acute, white families are by no means immune to social
strife, dislocation and transition. The high divorce rate and ``family
murders'', to mention but two examples, testify to this. In short, family
issues in general, and human sexuality in particular, cannot be discussed
in isolation from the wider social context.
In conclusion, then, it can be seen that human sexuality in the 20th
century has been significantly influenced by the perceptions, attitudes
and actions of Christians in earlier periods. In our own deliberations on
sexuality and morality, then, we need to take note of this historical
tradition. Similarly, the contemporary social context in Africa,
particularly in South Africa, has significantly influenced family and
sexual relationships. We therefore need to pay attention to the effects of
social dislocation and transition on human sexuality. We also need to ask
what we can do to have an impact on the 21st century, which has only
just begun.
 58

STUDY UNIT 7

Singleness

OUTCOMES
After working through this study unit, you should be able to:
. identify forms of singleness and varying perceptions of singleness
. outline and evaluate views of singleness found in the Bible and the
church
. discuss the relationship between celibacy and singleness

Whereas only some persons experience the married state, all persons
experience the state of singleness. Certain people may have chosen to be
single, while others, through force of circumstances, have never married
or have experienced the loss of a spouse, for example through death or
divorce.

what is There are various types of singleness. Firstly, one can speak of ``young
singleness? singles'', that is those persons who are between puberty and possible
marriage. Secondly, one can speak of the ``unchosen singles'', that is
those persons who have not married although they may have been
willing to get married. A third possibility is that of ``chosen celibate
singleness''. This refers to persons who, for one reason or another,
deliberately choose not to marry. The addition of the word ``celibate''
emphasises the point that these people have chosen neither marriage nor
non-marital sexual genital activity. These persons are usually driven by
some form of altruism or are reluctant, for whatever reason, to get
married. This group often includes persons such as priests, nuns, people
married to their work and missionaries. A fourth form of singleness,
which follows from the form just discussed, is ``chosen singleness which
does not include celibacy''. These people may be legally single, but
engage in temporary or semi-permanent forms of sexual activity. A fifth
form of singleness could be called ``post-marital'' singleness. Within this
group are those people who are single as a result of separation or
divorce, or the death of their spouse.
 59 CGM302-T/1

7.1 SINGLENESS AND THE BIBLE

_________________________________________

Activity 7.1

(1) Write down the names of at least four people in the Bible who were
single.

(2) Which is more highly valued in the Bible Ð singleness or marriage?

_________________________________________

In the Bible, singleness is mentioned, although marriage is the more

common state. Prophets such as Jeremiah were single, but singleness
was not required of either the prophets or the priests in the Old
Testament. Singleness is also found in the New Testament. Thus, John
the Baptist, Jesus and probably Paul were all single. In the New
Testament, there is an interesting emphasis on widows, who were
important and significant members of the Christian church. Lydia, a
seller of purple in the city of Philippi, is mentioned in Acts 16:14±15 and
40 and Acts 17:4 and 12. Lydia is spoken of as the head of a household,
which probably means that she was either widowed or unmarried.
Other widows are spoken of in Acts 6:1±4 where we are told that seven
men were appointed to see to it that the Greek-speaking widows were not
overlooked in favour of the Aramaic-speaking widows in the daily
distribution of food and alms (alms are gifts to the poor). In Acts 9:39 we
are told that all the widows at Joppa assembled to testify to the kindness
of Tabitha. In 1 Corinthians 7:8±9 and 39, Paul stresses that it is
advisable for young widows to remarry within the Christian fellowship
but that older widows should be given special status and be cared for by
the church (1 Tim 5:9±10). In his writing Paul argues that single persons
are able to dedicate themselves more fully to ``the Lord's affairs''
(1 Cor 7:32±35) and Jesus speaks of those ``who made themselves
eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven'' (Matt 19:12). The New
Testament does not, however, insist that Christians or even Christian
leaders have to choose the single state (1 Tim 3:4±5 and 12).
It is significant that even in the Jewish, Roman and Greek context where
marriage was greatly stressed, the New Testament has relatively little to
say about marriage. This is possibly because the early Christians
expected the arrival of the kingdom of God in the very near future and
thus little emphasis was placed on what was regarded as a temporary
state of affairs. Further, given the intimation by Jesus that there will be
no marriage in heaven (Matt 22:30), marriage is regarded as something
that belongs to the earthly sphere and not to human existence in the
context of the resurrection and eternity. Despite this relative silence of
the New Testament, all those cultures within which the Christian gospel
has been preached have placed great emphasis on the state of marriage.
 60

There is thus a certain tension between singleness and marriage in

relation to the life of a Christian.

7.2 PERCEPTIONS OF SINGLENESS

Having outlined various forms of singleness and noted some biblical
input on the subject, we can now consider how singleness is perceived.
_________________________________________

Activity 7.2

Before reading the next section, answer these questions for yourself:

(1) Am I single or married?

(2) What has my experience been of singleness?

(3) How has this influenced my perception of singleness?

(4) How do I view people who are single?

(5) How does my local church, and/or religious group with which I am
familiar, view single people and relate to them?
_________________________________________

Whereas some people perceive singleness as a form of dedication to

God, or simply the exercise of a personal choice, others may view
singleness as some form of failure. Women who are not married are
sometimes called by pejorative terms such as ``old maids'' and
``spinsters'' or are spoken of as being ``on the shelf''. Significantly,
men who do not marry are referred to by the neutral term of ``bachelor''.
These examples show that there are different perceptions of singleness in
relation to different groups of people.
In cultures where marriage and procreation are highly prized, singleness
is generally frowned upon or regarded as an exception rather than the
rule. For example, in Ancient Israel, traditional Africa and, for many
centuries, in Western Europe, marriage was regarded as the norm.
Obviously, because of the necessity to perpetuate the human race,
singleness, except for religious reasons, was not stressed, particularly in
those sparsely populated areas where the survival of an individual tribe
was regarded as being of paramount importance. However, given the
present overpopulated state of the earth, the need for human procreation
is now regarded as less important than was previously the case.
Another important factor that affects perceptions of singleness is that, in
the West at least, nuclear families are much less common than they were
50 to 100 years ago. In America, England, and, to a certain extent, in
South Africa, single-parent families and blended families (that is a
combination of partners and children from previous marriages) are
 61 CGM302-T/1

becoming more common. In addition, as greater numbers of men, in

particular, are attracted to homosexual relationships and, as marital
separation and divorce become more common, more people find
themselves in the single state. This has led to a greater acceptance of
singleness within these societies as a whole, although marriage is still
regarded by the vast majority as the norm.

7.3 CELIBACY AND SINGLENESS

celibacy as In those areas of the world where Christianity and, particularly, Roman
dedication Catholic Christianity, has been perpetuated, celibacy and the single life,
particularly for those called to a religious life (either as priests or nuns),
has been a persistent theme. As has already been shown, during certain
periods of church history celibacy was regarded as a central means of
indicating one's dedication to God. As Helmuth Thielicke (1964:53)
states:
The Roman Catholic practice of requiring celibacy of its priests is
by no means merely the negative one of mere abstinence and thus
``repression'': but rather that here we have a very carefully thought
out pedagogy of sublimination, which strives, as it were, to
transform the sexual energies into religious energies.

The original meaning of celibacy is to be unmarried Ð from the Latin

word coelebs which meant a bachelor, but in general usage the word
usually refers to the ``acceptance of the single state as a religious duty,
whether by vow or under some general obligation'' (Macquarrie
1967:49). In the early church period, certain heretical sects such as the
Manichaeans only permitted those who were celibate to be full members
of their group. Whereas celibacy was not expected of the clergy during
the early church period, the high esteem in which ascetics were held
meant that celibate priests were often considered for higher positions
within the church. Certain of the early theologians, including Origen,
Clement of Alexandria, Jerome and Augustine of Hippo, either directly
promoted celibacy and virginity, thus de-emphasising the value of
sexuality and sexual intercourse, or else they sought to restrict sexual
activity simply to the act of procreation within marriage.
celibacy and By 451 CE, the Council of Chalcedon (Canon 14) assumed that only the
priesthood lower clergy were allowed to be married. By 691 CE at the Council of
Constantinople, the decision, which still prevails in the Eastern Orthodox
churches, was taken that:
Priests and deacons may be married before ordination, but Bishops,
if not celibate, must separate from their wives Ð they are in fact
almost invariably chosen from the monastic order (Macquarrie
1967:49).

During the Middle Ages celibacy was not enforced in the Western
churches, but it was encouraged. By the 11th century the reforms of Pope
 62

Gregory sought to encourage both celibacy and monasticism amongst

the clergy. In the Anglican church clerical celibacy was required
according to the Act of Six Articles (1539) promulgated under Henry
VIII. By 1553 Article 32 of the 39 Articles of the Anglican Church
entitled ``Of the marriage of priests'', allowed the marriage of clergy
(Macquarrie 1967:49).
celibacy and In Kosnik's (1977) Human sexuality: new directions in Catholic thought
virginity there is a discussion of celibacy. Sexuality is defined in this book as ``the
way of being in, and relating to the world as male or female persons''
and so a question is asked concerning how those who are celibate
experience their human sexuality. A distinction is made between celibacy
and virginity. Celibacy refers to a conscious decision to live a life devoid
of genital sexual expression, whereas virginity refers to those persons
who have not experienced and do not intend to experience genital sexual
pleasure. Not all those who have chosen the path of celibacy are virgins.
Kosnik (1977:185) points out that since the Vatican II conference of the
Catholic Church (1962±1965), questions have been asked as to how the
large number of priests and nuns within this church, who have dedicated
themselves to celibacy, can experience their human sexuality more fully:
Those who seek to live celibate or virginal sexuality, must know
how to experience a healthy, affective maturation in their own
persons; to give and receive friendship with persons of their own
and the opposite sex; to express universal ``love'' (caritas) in
specific concern and care for others; to acknowledge the possibility
of a unique, intense, personal encounter that at some moment in
their lives invites to an intimate, exclusive, lasting relationship.

celibacy as a Celibacy is often understood in terms of a covenant with God and those
covenant concerned must be prepared to experience vulnerability, pain and
loneliness in an acute way. Nevertheless, within this experience of
solitude, celibate persons can also know the voice of God and experience
genuine and meaningful relationships. In this way affective sexuality (as
opposed to genital sexuality) can be fully experienced. This path, though
difficult, is not an impossible one, but the experience of affective
sexuality is necessary for the creativity and integration of celibate
persons to be fully released (Kosnik 1977:186):
The experience of human sexuality within the context of creative
fidelity to a covenant commitment must be for the celibate and the
virgin what it is for any human person: self liberating, other
enriching, honest, faithful, socially responsible, life serving, and
joyous.

chosen As I mentioned earlier, more people in the contemporary Western world

singleness seem to be single. Some single people may have deliberately chosen the
single life, others may be single as a result of divorce or separation, or
some other reason. Certain persons have dedicated themselves to their
professional careers and have not chosen marriage. Others, clearly
 63 CGM302-T/1

influenced by negative perceptions of marriage as a result of their

witnessing their parents' or other persons' stormy marriages, have
decided to remain single. Only a minority are ``celibate singles''. Put
differently, not all singles have chosen the celibate state. They may be
``living with'' another person, either of the same or the opposite sex,
whereas others have avoided any form of permanent relationship and
restrict their sexual intimacy to temporary and passing partners.
Another trend, particularly evident in Africa, is where some women
choose to have temporary lovers and bear children, but refuse to get
married. The reasons for such a decision may be diverse, but it would
appear that some women desire to have children but do not desire to
have a spouse who, certainly traditionally, may exercise an inordinate
amount of power over them. In those instances where women,
particularly professional women, are able to support themselves
financially, the option of singleness becomes possible. This is a rather
different situation to that which was experienced by women during Old
Testament times. In those days women were generally not able to support
themselves (unless through prostitution) and were dependent on the
goodwill of a husband, father, son or brother. The story of Ruth indicates
the extent to which Ruth and Naomi needed to obtain a male protector.
_________________________________________

Activity 7.3

(1) Can individuals ``living with each other'' be described as single? Why?

(2) Do you think that the benefits of ``living together'' are greater for men
or for women? Why?
_________________________________________

From this discussion we can see that not all single people have denied
themselves the possibility of sexual intercourse. However, persons who
have chosen the celibate single state, whilst they may not choose to
engage in genital sexual intercourse, are still able to experience affective
sexuality, that is the expression of their sexual nature in a broader way
not dependent on genitalia.

7.4 FRIENDSHIP
This discussion on singleness raises the matter of friendship. Friendship,
like singleness, can take many different forms. Friendship may, for
example, be experienced between two sisters of the same family.
Another form of friendship may develop between a son and a father,
especially once the son has reached maturity. Friendships may also be
formed between men and women, or between members of the same sex,
 64

which are platonic in nature. In other words they do not include sexual
forms of expression.
_________________________________________

Activity 7.4

(1) Can you name three close friends of yours?

(2) What is a ``close friend''?

(3) Are women, or men, most likely to share their problems and needs with
their friends?

(4) Is friendship important to you? Why?

_________________________________________

the four loves The Christian writer CS Lewis, in a now classic book entitled The four
loves has identified four different forms of love. To explain these, he
makes use of four Greek words: philia, eros, agape, and storge.
By philia the Greeks meant friendship. Friendship, says CS Lewis, is
very often undervalued because so few people experience it (Lewis
1960:55). According to Lewis's definition philia must be distinguished
from homosexuality. He says:
Those who cannot conceive friendship as a substantive love but
only as a disguise or elaboration of eros, betray the fact that they
have never had a friend (Lewis 1960:58).

Friendship, he says, is the least jealous of loves and could be described

as companionship. A friend is a kindred soul with whom one shares
insights and interests which make one immediately feel that one has
known one's friend for an extremely long time, even if it is a relatively
new friendship. Friendship, says Lewis (1960:67),
... is an affair of disentangled, or stripped, minds. Eros will have
naked bodies; friendship naked personalities.

Eros is a very different type of love. Eros is often likened to the state of
``being in love, and it generally refers specifically to love sexually
expressed''.
By storge Lewis means affection. This affection is often expressed by
parents towards their offspring, but also by children towards their
parents.
Finally, agape is often translated ``charity'' and describes a self-giving
and unselfish form of love. It can even be described as a ``gift-love'' as it
is related to self-giving. It is important to remember the differences
between the types of love expressed by means of these four Greek
 65 CGM302-T/1

words, especially since these distinctions are not made in English.

Speaking of love, CS Lewis (1960:7) has argued that our need for love
is:
an accurate reflection in consciousness of our actual nature. We are
born helpless. As soon as we are fully conscious we discover
loneliness. We need others physically, emotionally, intellectually;
we need them if we are to know anything, even ourselves.

purpose of friend- Elizabeth Turner has outlined what Aristotle (in his Nichomachaen
ship ethics book IV) perceived to be the four main purposes of friendship.
Firstly, to desire the good of the other person; secondly, to desire that the
other live for his or her own sake; thirdly, to enjoy passing time with the
other; and fourthly, to share their joys and sorrows (Turner & Turner
1989:154). For Aristotle, friendship is a ``preferential relationship, a
friend is in some sense another self''. Friendships are to be carefully
chosen and limited in number. According to Turner's (1989:153)
summary, friendship can be defined as follows:
Friendship exists by virtue of three primary attributes: what is
useful, what is pleasant and what is good ... permanence and
stability in friendship are only possible and assured when two
people are friends by virtue of the good in one another; by virtue of
who or what they are rather than because of what they can offer ... .
Aristotle asserts that equality and goodness are most conducive to
lasting friendship. The highest form of friendship exists when those
who are equal choose one another as friends because of the quality
of the other's character.

friendship and Elizabeth Turner makes the point that definitions of friendship are
culture sociologically and culturally determined. Consequently, different
definitions of friendship arise in different personal and social contexts
(Turner & Turner 1989:153±154). Thus for Cicero, the Roman writer
and politician, the notion of friendship was rooted in politics:
``Friendship was the cohesive and organisational factor in the Roman
political structure'' (Turner & Turner 1989:155). For Cicero, the three
most important characteristics of friendship were virtue, loyalty and
equality.
Turner also cites the Greek writer Plutarch's contribution to the
discussion of friendship. According to Plutarch, it is impossible to have
numerous friends. He went on to say that:
friendship must be tried and tested before making a commitment to
the relationship. Such a period of judgment demands time and
energy, and is necessary if the obligation to preserve the
permanence of friendship is to be honoured (Turner & Turner
1989:156).

friendship and It has often been assumed that friendship can only be experienced
gender between people of the same sex. However, depending on the way in
 66

which friendship is defined, friendship does not necessarily exclude

relationships between members of different sexes. Friendship, if it is
understood as a nonsexual relationship, can still be seen to be an intimate
relationship, but one that does not include sexual intimacy and passion.
Thus, says Turner, David grieved over the death of his friend Jonathan,
saying ``Your love for me was wonderful, more wonderful than that of
women'' (2 Samuel 1:26) (Turner & Turner 1989:159). This text is often
misconstrued so as to mean that David and Jonathan were homosexuals.
Although it is true that the text is not entirely clear, it can be seen from
other texts concerning David and Jonathan that they both had
heterosexual relationships. Because close friendships involve
relationships of the heart, mind and soul, they can generate
considerable intensity and passion. For this reason, says Turner, the
language of love is often used between close friends. But this, she says,
ought not to mean that a close friendship is a sexual relationship.
perceptions of In the history of the church, friendship has been variously interpreted and
friendship perceived. In certain circles close friendships were regarded with a
certain amount of suspicion whereas in other situations friendship was
viewed in a more positive light. Among monastics, friendship was
sometimes regarded negatively for fear that friendships would lead to
divisiveness and dissension. However, Aelred of Rievaulx (12th century)
wrote a book entitled Spiritual friendship. According to Aelred,
friendship ``is the means whereby one abides in God and God in
them. To be a friend to others makes one a friend of God'' (Turner &
Turner 1989:163±164).
Another reason why friendship is sometimes regarded with suspicion is
because friendships may be seen to be a threat to family links and
particularly to marriage relationships. Also, in business, for example,
friendship may be thought to influence people in their business
decisions. Thus, people speak of an ``old boys' network'' which may
be very influential in the corporate world and that of government. This
influence and contact may be regarded as either positive or negative. For
example, these networks may facilitate the provision of good govern-
ment and useful information in the making of business decisions. On the
other hand, such networks may exist simply to further the interests of
those within this ``inner group'' to the detriment of the corporation, the
government service, and the public at large. In other words, we need to
ask ``Whose interests are served by these networks?''.
Women also form networks through which they receive support and
encouragement. Do you think the aims and effects of male and female
networks are similar or different? Can you give reasons for this view?
It is important to be aware of the importance and richness of friendship.
A friend, says Elizabeth Turner (Turner & Turner 1989:170), ``is
someone who might be entrusted with my deepest self, with knowledge
of my soul''. She goes on to say ``friends seek to become united in soul,
but not exclusively with one another. Lovers, on the other hand, seek to
become united in their flesh, and exclusively with each other.
 67 CGM302-T/1

Friendships are exclusive only in terms of being limited in number;

sexual relationships are exclusive to the lover alone'' (Turner & Turner
1989:171).
In this classic meaning of the term, then, friendships, are often marked
by affection, intimacy and even passionate commitment, but they do not
include sexual intimacy.

7.5 THE CHURCH AND SINGLENESS

a double message Single people within the church often receive mixed messages. On the
one hand, they are regarded as full members of the body of Christ and
are encouraged to feel welcome and to participate in the life and
activities of the church. On the other hand, because of the great emphasis
placed on marriage within the church, single people are often perceived
to be very different to the rest of the community of the church and are
sometimes regarded as being the ``odd ones out''. Furthermore, since
they are regarded as having little or no family commitments or
responsibilities, they are often expected to be more committed to the
church and to be willing to give up their time for the church. In this
regard, simply because they do not have a ''nuclear'' family, their other
family and social commitments are less highly regarded by leaders in the
church and this often makes it difficult for them to refuse taking on
greater responsibilities in terms of caring for the needs of others.
The very existence of this double message raises the issue of the extent
to which single people are regarded as being of equal value as married
people, or whether there is some subtle form of devaluation and lack of
respect afforded to single people within the church. These questions are
reinforced by particular perceptions of marriage which regard individual
persons within a marriage being ``made complete'' by their relationship
with their spouse. This naturally implies that single people are, to some
extent, ``incomplete'' because they have not found their ``other half''.
These examples make the point that perceptions of people, whether
married or single, are important in the life of the church. Even though,
when pushed, most Christians would not openly state that the single state
is an abnormal or incomplete one, their attitudes and behaviour might,
nevertheless, imply that this is really what people think.
single women Specifically with regard to single women, part of the difficulty society
has with the state of singleness is linked to the way in which women
have traditionally been defined. Whereas it could be argued that men are
often defined in terms of their job or occupation, women are often
defined in relation to men. For example, a woman may be described as
``Sipho's wife'' or ``John's mother''. If this is the case, it means that male
relationships provide the norm which obviously makes it difficult to
locate single women within the socio-cultural framework.
As already discussed in this section, some people, including women,
choose to remain single. This would imply that certain people are single
as a result of a conscious choice rather than being single simply as a
 68

result of circumstances beyond their control. Several reasons could be

given for why women, in particular, choose singleness. One reason
already mentioned earlier in this section relates to autonomy and control.
For many women, high levels of autonomy and control can only be
attained within the single state. This is particularly true in cultures where
women are not generally regarded as equal to men and do not have legal
or economic equality. Thus in traditional African law, for example, the
perpetual childhood of women makes it extremely difficult for women to
remain within a marriage and still retain a sufficient degree of autonomy
and control. It is for this reason that some black and white women are
choosing singleness over marriage.
Factors such as these indicate that the churches cannot simply endlessly
repeat earlier formulations of singleness and marriage. They need to
relate their theological convictions in a more deliberate and relevant way
to the social and psychological conditions that pertain in contemporary
contexts. Serious thought, prayer and heart-searching are all necessary if
the churches' incorporation of and ministry to single people is to become
more consistently Christian than it has been up till now.
_________________________________________

Activity 7.5

(1) Have your views on singleness changed or been confirmed as a result of

reading this study unit?

(2) Why?

(3) Do you think the church and individual Christians need to change their
attitudes and actions with regard to single people?

(4) Suggest some concrete actions in this regard that you think would
improve the life experience of single people.
_________________________________________

To conclude, this study unit has shown that there are different forms of
singleness. In the Bible, examples of marriage, singleness and celibacy
are all to be found. Whereas some people are single by choice, others are
single as a result of circumstances beyond their control. Different
cultures have various perceptions of singleness, viewing it either
positively or negatively. Single parenthood was also noted. The
discussion of celibacy has indicated during which periods sexual
chastity has been highly prized. This study unit has also examined
different types of love and, in particular, discussed friendship. A number
of issues related to the need for the church to re-examine its views and
practices with regard to single people were also noted.
 69 CGM302-T/1

STUDY UNIT 8

Premarital and non-marital sexuality

OUTCOMES
After working through this study unit, you should:
. have clarified your thinking about extramarital sex
. be able to state arguments for and against extramarital sex
. be able to assess the morality of premarital, extramarital and non-
marital sexuality
. be able to relate this moral assessment to their own lifestyle and
that of others

The term ``premarital sexual relations'' usually refers to sexual intimacy

between those in the category of ``young singles''. According to a
number of surveys, increasing numbers of both men and women are not
virgins when they marry and there is increasing pressure (eg by peers
and the entertainment industry) on young, unmarried people to engage in
sexual intercourse before marriage.

8.1 THE INCIDENCE OF PREMARITAL SEX

There has been some debate over the statistics of the incidence of
premarital sex. According to the book edited by Kosnik, (1977) Kinsey
reported that 60 percent of the women in his sample engaged in
premarital intercourse. Albert Kinsey further reported in the late 1940s
that 98 percent of males with a limited education engaged in premarital
intercourse whereas 67 percent of males who were college educated
engaged in premarital intercourse (Kosnik 1977:66±67). As indicated
elsewhere in this study guide, Kinsey's figures have been disputed by
some. Also, it is debatable whether the figures quoted by Kinsey for
North America and gathered during wartime are equally applicable to
other countries. More recently, quoting a variety of sources, Nancy
Denny argues that there is substantial evidence to show that significant
numbers of North American religious leaders, in the post-1970s period,
no longer regard premarital sex as immoral. She quotes a questionnaire
sent to 469 religious leaders and pastors of the Jewish and Christian
faiths in 1985 which indicated that only 40 percent of the respondents
stated that they regarded premarital sex to be immoral (Denny
1988:591).
 70
_________________________________________

Activity 8.1

(1) Read the following article from the Mail & Guardian (Sept 1±7,
2000:11):

Kids 11 and younger are sexually active

By Nawaal Deane and Ntuthuko Maphumulo
Statistics show that over the past 15 years South African youth have
been having sex at an increasingly younger age.
Of the sexually experienced children polled in the Beyond Awareness
Campaign survey, 10% said they had had their first sexual
experience at or below the age of 11 years.
In the Eastern Cape, 22% of the youth first had sex at the age of 11.
The comparative figures for sex below the age of 11 in the other
provinces were KwaZulu-Natal, 14%; Western Cape, 1%, Gauteng,
11%; Northern Cape, 2%; and Northern Province, 7%. As many as
25% of respondents in KwaZulu-Natal and 35% in the Eastern Cape
had had sex by the age of 13 years, the report said.
Gauteng and Western Cape youth were the least likely to have more
than one sexual partner, with KwaZulu-Natal having double the rate
of respondents with concurrent sexual partners as the other
provinces.
On a national scale 42% reported having had sex for the first time at
or below the age of 15 years. There is a difference between girls and
boys, with girls tending to become sexually active at an older age.
The report notes: ``It is puzzling to imagine what might be the nature
of sexual intercourse [between people] below the age of 11 years and
how these respondents became sexually active.''
A major survey conducted in 1998 by the makers of Durex condoms
found that South African youngsters are ``pretty much with the global
average when it comes to `losing it' with ages of first sex at 17,3
years''. The report found that 55% of South Africans did not use any
contraception in their first sexual encounters.
(2) How do you respond to these figures? Why?

(3) Should young, sexually active children (eg 11 year olds) be given the pill
or other contraceptives, for example condoms? Would this encourage
sexual activity?

(4) When, in your view, is a sexual relationship appropriate?

_________________________________________

There is a group in South Africa called ``True Love Waits''. This group
encourages young people to remain virgins (both boys and girls) until
they get married. This is in stark contrast to many sexual attitudes that
see sexual relationships as normal and part and parcel of any and every
relationship.
 71 CGM302-T/1

In America those who choose celibacy before marriage are known as

``pledge keepers''. This extract from an article in the newspaper about
the controversial pop star Britney Spears gives some more information
on these types of movements.
Pop star Britney Spears, renowned for sensual performances that have
helped boost her record sales into the millions, has been crowned queen
of America's fastest-growing youth movement Ð the teenage celibates.
Thousands of high school and college students known as ``pledge
keepers'', who vow to remain virgins until they are married, have adopted
Spears, 18, as a role model after she told a German magazine that she
intends to abstain from sex until her wedding night.
The remarks by Spears, a Southern Baptist, reflect a trend among
American teenagers to delay starting sexual relationships. For the first
time in 20 years, research from the Centres for Disease Control in Atlanta
showed recently that virgins were in the majority among elder pupils in
American high schools.
Associates said Spears had made the comments to encourage girls and
young women who found themselves under pressure from boyfriends to
give in to sexual demands. ``Britney feels that the old rules still apply: you
can have friends without having sex. She is too busy for a serious
relationship at the moment and being friends is all she wants.''
A college study of 2000 students found that the average age for first
sexual intercourse had risen by more than a year over the same period to
16 years and four months.
America has 50 births per 1000 girls aged between 15 and 19, more than
twice as many as in Britain. But the American trend is down, while in
Britain it is still up.
Factors behind the American trend are thought to include improved sex
education, a growing stability among families after an unprecedented
boom, and a greater willingness among girls and young women to reject
male advances as they focus on careers rather than motherhood in early
adult life (Sunday Independent, 21 May 2000).
_________________________________________

Activity 8.2

(1) Note your feelings about such groups as ``True Love Waits'' and ``Pledge
Keepers''.

(2) Do you agree that you can have friends without having sex? Why?

(3) In what ways does Christian teaching on premarital sex tie in with the
aims of these groups?

(4) Why do you think that pro-celibacy groups have sprung up?

_________________________________________

In the available literature and in many television programmes, arguments

 72

both for and against premarital sex are advanced. Some of these are
listed below. With which of these do you agree or disagree?

8.2 ARGUMENTS IN FAVOUR OF PREMARITAL SEX

(1) Sex is a natural physical act. Premarital sex is not wicked or evil
because it is a purely natural act. This argument stresses the
physiological nature of sex and compares it to other physiological
needs such as hunger. Since sex is a pleasant fulfilment of a human
need, some say it cannot be regarded as evil. No symbolic meanings
are ascribed to sex.
(2) Sex is an expression of love. Secondly, it is argued that premarital
sex is not evil or wrong because it is an expression of love. Sexual
intercourse, then, is the natural expression of the love between two
people whether they are married or not. As long as premarital sex is
practised without exploitation or deceit, it can be regarded as a valid
expression of love.
(3) A private act. Thirdly, it is said that as premarital sex is a purely
private act between two consenting adults, it cannot be regarded as
morally wrong. Contraception is effective and reliable so there is
little chance of an unwanted pregnancy which then impacts on many
more people.
(4) Helps the relationship. Sex, it is argued, can help a relationship as
tensions are released and the couple know that they are sexually
compatible. This means that when they get married there are fewer
tensions and the marriage has a better chance of success.
(5) Socially acceptable. A great many people engage in premarital
intercourse and, therefore, it no longer carries social condemnation.
The values of society have changed and it is acceptable to have
premarital sex.
(6) An expression of ``right-relatedness''. Sex can be ``an appropriate
expression of the quality and depth of a relationship, whether
marriage is intended or not''. An example of this position is that
taken by the Presbyterian Church (USA) Report (Thatcher 1993)
which honours but does not restrict sexual activity to marriage
alone, and has justice-love or right-relatedness as the appropriate
norm for sexuality (Thatcher 1993:97). Couples must decide for
themselves whether sex is appropriate or not.
(7) Technical virginity. There is always the question of where one
should draw the line: what is acceptable and what is not? Is orgasm
acceptable as long as there is no penile envelopment (penetration)?
Technically one may be a virgin but have experienced everything
else except penetration. Is petting to orgasm, which provides sexual
release and can be a deeply intimate experience, both emotionally
and physically, radically different from full intercourse?

On the other hand, a number of arguments can be marshalled against

premarital sex.
 73 CGM302-T/1

8.3 ARGUMENTS AGAINST PREMARITAL SEX

(1) It goes against God's laws. Firstly, premarital intercourse is
forbidden by God and therefore those who practise it are wilfully
disobeying God. This view is based on the seventh commandment
``Thou shalt not commit adultery'', where the word ``adultery'' is
said to refer to all extramarital sex whether between a married
person and someone other than their spouse or between two people
who are not married. Further texts include Deuteronomy 22:13±21
where virginity is stressed.
(2) Conflicts with society's values. Secondly, in a society where
marriage is highly prized, premarital sex is regarded as being in
conflict with the basic values within this society, such as purity and
fidelity.
(3) It weakens fidelity. Thirdly, premarital intercourse is regarded as
wrong because it weakens one's capacity for marital fidelity. Loose
relationships before marriage, it is argued, make a person more
prone to adultery after marriage. To engage in premarital intercourse
is to accept the idea and the fact of sexual relations with someone
other than one's husband or wife. Anyone who has accepted this
idea before marriage will not find that the marriage ceremony ends
the temptation to engage in extramarital relations. Since marital
fidelity is an important virtue, premarital intercourse, which
weakens this virtue, is always wicked (Wellman 1975:107).
(4) It is yielding to lust. A fourth argument against premarital sex is that
it constitutes a yielding to bodily lust. In this regard, this yielding to
bodily urges prevents the development of virtue, integrity and moral
character. Furthermore, sex outside of a long-term committed
relationship is dangerous and anxiety-generating.
(5) Procreation. Fifthly, it is argued that premarital sex is wrong
because it is an unnatural act. As the natural end of intercourse is
procreation, and unmarried people do not wish to produce offspring,
sexuality within a relationship that from the outset excludes the
possibility of procreation is regarded as wrong.
(6) Unwanted pregnancy. The possibility that an unwanted child may be
conceived is also a reason not to engage in extramarital sex.
(7) The symbolic nature of sex. Sexual intercourse is more than just a
physical act. Firstly, it conveys feelings which the partners have for
one another, so it is often referred to as ``making love''. Moreover,
from a Christian perspective, the two become ``one flesh''
(Gen 2:24; 1 Cor 6:16).
_________________________________________

Activity 8.3

Read this story, noting your reaction to its contents:

 74

A parish worker who was 26 years old had been in a steady

relationship with a man for about a year. They were not living together
but enjoyed a sexual relationship Ð that included sexual intercourse.
They were discreet and although people in the church knew that they
were going out, they were not aware of the full nature of their
relationship.
This couple did not want to get married yet as there seemed to be
some problems in the relationship which still needed to be worked
through. For example, there were differences in terms of job
expectation and careers that made them reluctant to marry until the
issues had been resolved. He was jealous of her work at the church,
as she spent long hours there, and this meant that especially at
weekends he was home alone waiting for her to return.
Her ministry at the church was valued and many of the parishioners
commented that they felt God was working through her and that they
had been blessed by her ministry.
One day, when asked about her relationship with the man, she
admitted that they were sexually active. She felt there were enough
pressures on the relationship without adding sexual restrictions that
would cause further tensions. Also, she felt that one might be
technically a virgin but that ``everything else except'' was not that
different from full intercourse and with reliable contraception the
procreative dimension was not really an issue.
This parish worker later ended the relationship. When asked about
her feelings, she said that, as they had been in a sexual relationship,
there was more pain when they separated Ð they were both hurt.
Yet, the sexual nature of the relationship had also brought joy and
pleasure and made them more intimate and close to one another on
other levels besides just the physical level. Without this pleasure
there would have been less pain Ð but life without risks, without
pleasure and pain, joy and grief, is half a life.
(1) What moral values (or lack of them) are illustrated in this example?

(2) How would you apply the arguments for and against extramarital sex to
this situation?

(3) How do you respond to this story Ð with which of the parish worker's
decisions do you agree Ð and why?
_________________________________________

8.4 COMMENTS ON THE VARIOUS ARGUMENTS FOR AND

AGAINST PREMARITAL SEX
natural law With regard to the various views cited above, the argument based on
arguments natural law, that is on what is ``natural'', is always a controversial one.
For example, is contraception (preventing pregnancy) wrong because it
is ``unnatural''? Or can we regard the sexual act as not being restricted to
the purpose of procreation, but also for the purposes of emotional unity
and providing pleasure and intimacy between the two sexual partners?
Further, because there are so many debates about what is natural, this
 75 CGM302-T/1

becomes a contentious argument. This is reflected in study units 11 and

12 regarding homosexuality.
moral values and A second argument that is commonly used by both sides is that which
culture refers to the moral values contained within a particular culture or
tradition. Precisely because culture is not static, and cultural values or
mores (that which is regarded as morally acceptable) also change, this
can lead to conflicting views. Christianity does not subscribe to the view
that ``the majority is always right''; on the contrary, Christianity is often
at odds with the values or mores of a particular society. Thus, for
example, pornography is widely promoted and practised, but it is not
regarded as being morally acceptable or useful by Christians. This raises
the question whether Christians ought to follow or resist cultural trends.
The Presbyterian Church Report has been criticised as abandoning
Christian traditions and creating confusion, and for putting undue
pressure on and calling for moral insights and wisdom beyond the
capacity of many adolescents.
what is love? The argument over whether premarital sex expresses genuine love or not
is a much more telling argument. Wellman points out that only in stable
marital relationships is a condition created for a genuinely loving
relationship. Casual premarital sexual relationships can seldom be
regarded as loving relationships precisely because of the temporary
nature of these relationships and the possibility of contracting venereal
diseases as well as the HIV virus. According to Wellman (1975:125±
126), premarital sex threatens the relationship between the two parties in
at least three ways:
First, it tends to over-emphasise sexual activities and sensual
pleasures at the expense of other activities such as engaging in
serious discussions, attending movies or plays, or taking part in
special interests or service organisations [ie doing things together
(eg playing sport and visiting friends) and participating in religious
and community activities].
Second, pre-marital sex tends to over-commit the sexual partners to
each other ... accordingly engaging in sexual intercourse usually
intensifies the emotional involvement of the sex partners and may
lead them to become too deeply committed to their personal
relationship too quickly.
Third, pre-marital sex, whether casual or stable, destroys one
precious future possibility Ð the possibility of sharing in marriage
something unique to that marriage.

Look at your answers to the questions in activity 8.3 in the light of the
comments in subsection 8.4. Do they encourage you to add or delete
anything from your answers?
 76

8.5 MASTURBATION
Masturbation can be defined as ``stimulating yourself sexually by
manipulating your sexual organs'' (White 1977:34). Masturbation can
also be performed on one person by another person Ð for example, in
the case of ``heavy petting''.
Traditionally, the church considered masturbation as sinful and
unnatural. Masturbation was associated with other ``unnatural acts'',
such as bestiality. Much of this condemnation was based on a false
interpretation of the story of Onan (Gen 38:9±10). In this story it is not
masturbation that is wrong, but Onan's failure to practise Levirate
marriage (Deut 25:5±10), that is to provide his brother's wife with a
child. In fact, the Bible says nothing about masturbation.
The negative attitude to masturbation was also due to biological
misunderstanding. It was thought that the male seed was the only active
element for the creation of new life (the woman was just where the seed
grew). So, masturbation was tantamount to the destruction of life. It was
also thought that there were a finite number of sperm and so they should
not be wasted. In the 18th and 19th centuries it was thought that
masturbation caused all sorts of medical conditions, from pimples to
suicide.
Masturbation has sometimes caused people, especially teenagers, to feel
very guilty, even ``unclean''. In this regard, a distinction can be made
between occasional and, often, involuntary, masturbation (eg in the case
of ``wet dreams'' Ð dreams that induce sexual feelings and reactions) on
the one hand and regular, obsessive masturbation on the other hand. The
latter can get totally out of control and be associated with pornography
and voyeurism (watching naked people perform sexual acts). White
(1977:34) speaks of this type of masturbation as ``sex on a desert island''
because it involves the avoidance of relationships.
In order to evaluate masturbation, one must assess the various meanings
and reasons why it is done. For example, it can be an outlet for forbidden
desires, it can give psychological consolation to the lonely person, in
marriage it can help to even out differing patterns of sexual desire, or it
can be used mutually as a source of sexual pleasure and a form of safe
sex. However, it can also be a neurotic escape from relationship and
inner problems.
In short, masturbation, especially for men and women with no other
sexual outlet, can be a positive force, but there are dangers. It may
become a substitute for relationships, or over-used, and used with
pornography, especially by men who fear or even hate women. Then it
becomes destructive.

8.6 NON-MARITAL SEX

Non-marital sex refers to sexual relations between non-married persons.
Thus, those who have never married, widows, widowers, and persons
 77 CGM302-T/1

who are divorced may decide to engage in sexual intercourse without

ever intending to get married.
Ethicists and Christian leaders have reacted differently to these
discussions of premarital or non-marital sexual relations. At least three
views can be identified:
(1) Sexual intercourse outside of marriage is acceptable as long as the
persons involved love each other and do not hurt others.
(2) Any sexual relationship outside marriage constitutes immorality and
promiscuity.
(3) Sexual relations outside of marriage are not ideal because, if
continued, they lead to the alienation and disintegration of the
person.

Positions (2) and (3) are based on the view that genital sexual activity
leads to the fragmentation and alienation of the person if it is not rooted
in a loving and permanent relationship. Fornication is not wrong simply
because it is pleasurable, says Dominian, it is wrong because it treats the
person as if they were a purely physical object, without psychological or
spiritual dimensions. He goes on to say that the guiding principle of
sexual ethics
... is not to be found in sexual pleasure, either in its pursuit or
denial, but in the pursuit of human integrity and wholeness in
authentic intra- and interpersonal relationships (Dominian 1977:71).

(Note: The term ``intra-personal relationship'' means the relationship I

have with my own inner being; this includes my self-perception and self-
esteem. ``Interpersonal'' means relationships between individual per-
sons.)
Because greater numbers of people are now single than ever before,
particularly in the Western world, the whole issue of non-marital sexual
relationships becomes a more urgent and pressing one. Not only are there
greater numbers of people who have never been married but, because of
divorce, death and separation, many people are now again single. This
has led to many more families being ``single parent'' families than has
previously been the case.
In addition, because the Roman Catholic Church and, to a lesser extent,
the Anglican Church, does not generally condone or recognise divorce, it
will seldom remarry divorced persons. In the Anglican Church, divorced
persons may remarry within the church if they go through a process of
confession and repentance and are able to obtain the bishop's consent
(see also study units 9 and 10). Whatever decisions the different
churches make about divorce and remarriage, the factors already
mentioned mean that many more people are single and many may not
wish to commit themselves to a celibate lifestyle. These facts mean that
issues of singleness and sexuality ought to be given much more
 78

attention, at a theoretical and practical level, than has previously been the
case.
In conclusion, then, this study unit has shown that some single people
practise a celibate lifestyle whereas others engage in semi-permanent
sexual relationships that do not include marriage. Still others engage in
occasional, temporary sexual liaisons. This means that individual
Christians, and the church as a whole, need to think through the
implications of sexuality for single people. This includes the issues of
premarital and non-marital sex.
 79 CGM302-T/1

STUDY UNIT 9

Marriage

OUTCOMES
After working through this study unit, you should be able to:
. identify to what extent your own experience of marriage, whether
directly (your own marriage) or indirectly (the marriage of
someone close to you), has influenced your views and feelings
regarding marriage
. explain and evaluate various views concerning the definitions,
forms, images, symbols and purpose of marriage
. assess the impact of biblical teachings on ancient and modern
perceptions of marriage

9.1 SOME PRELIMINARY COMMENTS

I have already said something about marriage in this study guide. The
long-standing Christian emphasis on marriage as the proper context for
sexual intimacy has already been mentioned, as has the purpose of
marriage: procreation, mutual pleasure, companionship and sexual
release. During the early church period, marriage was regarded as a
lesser or lower calling than that of celibacy. By way of contrast, the 16th
century Protestant reformers regarded marriage as a form of a covenant
between the couple and God, which meant that marriage was seen as an
important calling for a Christian.
It is significant that, during the 20th century, the possibility of reliable
forms of contraception has made frequent sexual intimacy within
marriage possible without the fear of endless pregnancies and the
possible death of the mother. Furthermore, the availability of these
methods of contraception has also meant that promiscuity and sexual
relationships outside marriage can be pursued without a significant risk
of pregnancy. As indicated earlier, it is for precisely this reason that the
Roman Catholic Church has for so long rejected artificial forms of
contraception. Some of its leaders regard all these means of contra-
ception (eg the pill, diaphragm or condom) as opening the gate to sexual
licentiousness and irresponsibility.
perceptions of Consider the following picture:
pregnancy
 80

ILLUSTRATION 9.1
Social Comment. The work of Tina Modotti (1896±1942) combined
strong composition with social or political messages. ``Once Again''
(1929) highlights the situation of Mexican women condemned to an
endless cycle of childbearing and rearing.

Source: Stewart (1997:163)

This picture entitled Once Again by Tina Modotti highlights the situation
of Mexican women. It portrays the situation that many of these women
find themselves in, with small children in their arms and another baby on
the way.
_________________________________________

Activity 9.1

(1) Do you agree with the comment above illustration 9.1? In other words,
is constant childbearing and rearing a terrible fate? Give reasons for
your answer.

(2) Would it make a difference to the quality of women's lives if they could
choose when and how many children they had?
 81 CGM302-T/1

(3) Should men have a say in how many children a woman has? For example,
should he have a say in whether she uses contraception or not?

(4) Is this endless cycle ``life enhancing'', given circumstances of poverty,

over-population and unemployment?
_________________________________________

Now consider the following humerous look at the issue of pregnancy

from another angle. What light does this set of comments throw on the
issue of childbearing and childraising?
If Men Got Pregnant
1. Maternity leave would last two years ... with full pay.
2. There would be a cure for stretch marks.
3. Natural childbirth would become obsolete.
4. Morning sickness would rank as the nation's No. 1 health problem.
5. All methods of birth control would be 100% effective.
6. Children would be kept in the hospital until toilet trained.
7. Men would be eager to talk about commitment.
8. They wouldn't think twins were so cute.
9. Sons would have to be home from dates by 10:00 pm.
10. Briefcases would be used as diaper/nappy bags.
11. Paternity suits would be a fashion line of clothes.
12. They'd stay in bed during the whole pregnancy.
13. Restaurants would include ice cream and pickles as main entree's.
14. Women would rule the world.

perceptions of But what about changing perceptions of marriage? In the study unit on
marriage singleness, the point was made that some people have, for one reason or
another, rejected the option of marriage. Others may have wished to get
married, but have not had the opportunity to do so. As a result of the very
high divorce figures in both the West and in Africa (as well as legal or
informal separations), many thousands, if not millions, of people in our
world today are not actually married. A significant number of these
people are single as a result of divorce or the death of a spouse. This
means that marriage cannot be discussed in isolation from the reality that
many people are, in fact, not married.
Jack Dominian, in his 1977 book Proposal for a new sexual ethic, places
himself, as a Catholic thinker, among those who have wanted since
Vatican II (1962±1965) to develop a new moral basis for sexual ethics
for today's world. His argument is that the debate is not so much about
obedience but about developing an appropriate value system for a new
age. He points to two basic notions current in the world today concerning
sexual morality:
Perhaps no idea is more deeply embedded in popular thought and
moral theology than that sexual intercourse is legitimate within
marriage only and that the pleasure of the act is intimately related to
 82

what used to be described until Vatican II as the primary end of

marriage, namely procreation. Sex is pleasurable and that this
pleasure is primarily linked with children is a notion firmly
established in both popular and traditional moral thinking ... . The
opposite proposition is that sex is pleasurable in its own right, has
little to do with marriage or procreation and should be pursued as an
end in itself. This fundamental dichotomy with all its emotional
overtones still governs much of the discussion on this topic
(Dominian 1977:23).

In response to this statement by Dominian, there are those who insist that
sexual intercourse is legitimate only within marriage but they do not
regard the primary and only end of marriage as procreation. This group,
consisting of both academic moral thinkers and ordinary people, would
also regard sex as pleasurable and unifying in itself (and not only
valuable when linked with procreation). They stress a continuing
relationship of commitment and fidelity within marriage.

9.2 SOCIO-PERSONAL CONTEXTS OF MARRIAGE

marriage and The changes following the Industrial Revolution (which occurred at
social change different times in different countries) which initiated the separation
between home and work are crucial to this discussion of marriage.
Before the Industrial Revolution most people lived on farms or in small
towns, in which the family was often involved as a social unit in
economic production. Consequently, the family constituted a unit of
social, economic, cultural and kinship relationships:
Typically, the family has had six basic functions: to control sexual
access and relations; to provide an orderly context for reproduction;
to nurture and socialise children; to furnish emotional nurture for its
adult members; to provide a context for economic activity; and to
ascribe social status to its members. Without exception each of
these functions is now being challenged and changed under the
impact of high mobility, new perceptions of sex roles, urbanisation,
industrialisation, and rapid technological developments (important-
ly including reliable contraception and markedly increased life-
spans) (Nelson 1978:130±131).

It is also important to note that the nuclear family (mother, father and two
or three children) is a relatively recent form associated with marriage,
which had its roots in the 19th century development of the bourgeois
middle class. In earlier times, marriage and the family usually included
many other kinship or clan relationships (eg half-sisters, cousins, uncles)
as well as servants Ð all of whom were engaged in joint economic
activities. It is significant that in a study conducted in 1974 in the United
States only 37 percent of the families interviewed included nuclear
families in which both parents and their children lived in one household
(Nelson 1978:131).
 83 CGM302-T/1

Even though one can put forward arguments about the theoretical
definitions and characteristics of marriage, the actual experiences of
people also need to be taken into account when discussing marriage.
People who have experienced many years of happily married existence
regard marriage in a positive light. But for others marriage has been an
unmitigated disaster. Even to speak in such stark terms about happy or
disastrous marriages is to belie the fact that varied experiences within
marriage are the norm rather than the exception.
Marital life is never easy or simple. It involves a continuing relationship
between two people, both of whom are in a process of change. It also
involves a whole host of other people, including children that may result
from the marriage, brothers and sisters, other members of the family such
as aunts, cousins and parents, as well as the local community in which
the married couple live. All these personal and family factors affect the
marriage in one way or another.
In addition, in the modern industrial world where men and very often
women ``go out to work'', opportunities for marital division, discord and
unfaithfulness increase proportionately. The working environment also
provides opportunities for personal growth and, if both partners are not
growing as persons, as well as growing in relation to each other,
problems may very well result. Husbands who, as a result of their work,
develop a wide range of skills and extensive knowledge of both their
work and life in general might find that their wives do not share their
newly developed interests. Conversely, it could also be true that a wife
may make significant advances in her working life and, at the end of the
day, earn a significantly larger salary than her husband and also enjoy
much higher social status. Both these instances illustrate ways in which
external factors can place additional stresses and strains on a marriage.
With these few introductory comments in mind, we can now consider the
question: ``What is marriage?''

9.3 WHAT IS MARRIAGE?

_________________________________________

Activity 9.1

(1) Are you married? If so, why? If not, why not?

(2) If you are married, or have been married, has your experience of
marriage been positive or negative? How would you describe or weigh
your marriage on the balance of good and bad?

(3) Describe the marriage of someone close to you Ð for example, your
parents' marriage, that of a family member or of a friend.

(4) Write down three or four ways in which you think your experiences
 84

have affected or influenced your views and feelings with respect to

marriage?

(5) How would you define marriage in a few sentences?

(6) Consider illustration 9.2. What are your views on polygamy?

_________________________________________

ILLUSTRATION 9.2
In Islamic law a man is entitled to take up to four wives.

Source: Brimohanlall in Pillemer and Shackleton (1999:77)

9.3.1 Definitions and forms of marriage

definitions We have spoken of monogamous marital relationships. The word
``monogamy'' (mono meaning one and gamy meaning marriage) refers
to a situation in which one woman is married to one man. If we look at
the history of human societies, however, we can see that monogamy is
not the only form of marriage. Some societies have been polygamous,
which means that one partner could be married to a number of other
partners. In most cases, polygamy has meant that one man can be married
to more than one woman at a time. Technically, the word for such a
relationship is polygyny (many women). There are, however, a few
 85 CGM302-T/1

examples of polyandry, which means that one woman could be

simultaneously married to several men.
By and large, patriarchal societies practised either monogamy or
polygyny, whereas matriarchal societies practised either monogamy or
polyandry. The most common forms of marriage have been polygyny
and monogamy. Bigamy means having two wives or two husbands at the
same time to whom one is ``legally'' married, usually without the other
wife or husband knowing about this bigamous state of affairs.
As a result of the failure of a great many monogamous marriages, a new
term has been coined, namely that of serial monogamy (sometimes serial
polygamy). This refers, for example, to the situation where man A
marries woman B, they get divorced, then man A marries woman C. If
this marriage also results in divorce, man A may marry for a third time,
namely to woman D. This situation has been termed serial monogamy
because even though the man has been married to one woman at a time,
he has married a series of women over a period of time.
living together Another form of both ancient and modern marriages is that of
``informal'' marriage or, in popular parlance, ``living together''.
Several reasons may be advanced for the growth of informal marriages
(also termed ``common law'' marriages). These include: the rejection of
marriage as an institution by a couple; the unwillingness of a couple to
commit themselves to a legal, public and permanent relationship; the
desire to ``experiment'' before actually entering into a legal marriage; or
a simple desire to engage in sexual relationships of a semi-permanent
nature without making an emotional or legal commitment to any
particular person. For these different reasons, some couples have been
``living together'' for 20 to 30 years, as a result of which their
relationship strongly resembles a marital relationship. Other couples may
engage in the practice of ``living together'' for as little as a few days,
weeks or months.
obstacles to mono- It is worth noting that there are several modern obstacles to permanent
gamy monogamy. Firstly, marital infidelity is easier in a large and anonymous
urban environment than it is in a small town or village. Secondly, as
already mentioned, contraceptive technology means that it is more
difficult to ascertain whether the children born to a particular marriage
are the result of sexual intercourse from that particular couple, although,
of course, DNA tests could establish this. A third obstacle is that modern
advertising supplies attractive and alluring alternatives to the spouse to
which one may be married. Finally, affluent men would be more inclined
to divorce ageing wives and seek marriage with a younger woman, and
younger women, for material reasons, may be willing to offer themselves
as replacements to these ageing wives. This means that economic
inequality is an enemy of monogamy.
 86

9.3.2 Marriage and the Bible

some Old Testa- In speaking about marriage, it is common for both theologians and
ment passages ordinary people to refer to the passage in Genesis 2:18 which states: ``It
is not good that the man should be alone. I will make him a help mate''.
As explained earlier in this study guide, the word often translated ``help
mate'', or, in the older translations (such as the King James Version),
``help meet'', emphasises the importance of sharing and having a life in
common. The key words here are partnership and companionship. This
short verse thus underlines one of the most important purposes of
marriage, namely a shared life. As Kosnik et al(1977:103) put it:
... the Bible clearly points to a community of life between man and
woman based on equality, total sharing, mutual respect and support.

Other scriptural passages that are important in relation to marriage

include the accounts of the life between Abraham and Sarah
(Gen 12:23), Elkanah and Hannah (1 Sam 1ff) and the entire book of
the Song of Solomon which contains eloquent and passionate
descriptions of love. It is also interesting to note that in Deuteronomy
24:5 and Deuteronomy 27:7 a newly married Israelite man was given an
entire year of freedom from both military service and business
obligations.
New Testament As far as the New Testament is concerned, although Jesus did not have
texts much to say on the subject of marriage, his criticism of easy divorce,
which was common among certain sectors of the population in New
Testament times, indicated his stress on the importance of dedication and
life commitment in marriage. The emphasis in Jesus's sayings is on
God's command to couples to practise mutual love and fidelity. It is
worth noting that in 1 Corinthians 7:1±7, Paul states that husband and
wife ought not to impose on each other prolonged periods of sexual
abstinence. He clearly recognises both the need for and importance of
sexual relations within marriage. But, given his overall commitment to
preaching the gospel and his imminent expectation of the consummation
of the kingdom of God, he places much more emphasis on what it means
to be a practising Christian believer than he does on the particular
institution of marriage.
Despite the strong emphasis on procreation in the long theological
tradition of the church, the New Testament itself does not stress the
procreative aspect of marital life Ð this is more strongly emphasised in
the Old Testament. Because the church emerged during Roman times,
distinctively Christian rites of marriage only emerged in the 4th century
and it is only in the 9th century that we have records of detailed accounts
of Christian marriage ceremonies (Nelson 1978:132).

9.3.3 Images and symbols of marriage

marriage as a Roman Catholic commentators have generally defined marriage as a
sacrament sacrament. Roman Catholics have several sacraments whereas
Protestants only recognise baptism and communion as sacraments.
 87 CGM302-T/1

Both of these, along with confirmation, penance, extreme unction,

ordination and marriage are regarded as sacraments by Roman Catholics
(and in the Eastern Church). The Latin word sacramentum meant a
soldier's oath of allegiance. Christians used the word in association with
the Greek term mysterion (a mystery). Sacraments, then, are promises or
commitments. Aquinas spoke of them as signs of a holy reality.
The sacramental theology of marriage propounded by Roman Catholics
draws on Paul's discussion of ``the great mystery'' in the book of
Ephesians. Thus the image used is that of the mystical union between
Christ and the church which, by analogy, is related to the union that
ought to occur between husband and wife. The use of terms such as
mystery and mystical can, as indicated above, obscure the meaning of
the word ``sacrament''. A sacrament is a promise, commitment and sign.
Thus, the sacraments of the bread and wine used in the communion table
are a physical representation of the blood and the body of Christ. A
sacrament makes spiritual reality more accessible and understandable.
The union of a husband and wife, in Catholic thinking, becomes a means
of grace, that is a bearer of grace, through which God's mercy towards us
becomes actual and embodied.
marriage as a Another image that is used of marriage is that of a covenant. The notion
covenant of a covenant was commonly used by the Reformers in their attempts to
re-emphasise the importance of marriage at a time when celibacy was
highly prized. The word ``covenant'' has the advantage of having less of
the legal and business nuances of the term ``contract''. Covenant, drawn
from the notion of a covenant between God and the people of Israel in
the Old Testament, implies a mutual agreement. Thus, in the Old
Testament, God promised to lead and protect the people of Israel and, in
return, the people of Israel were called upon to obey God's
commandments and be a testimony to the surrounding nations (see
Deut 11 for example). The notion of covenant, then, implies that the
parties establish a relationship that is sealed by means of an oath. The
oath is binding and involves certain obligations as well as promises of
certain blessings.
A recent Lutheran statement regarding marriage reads as follows:
Christian faith affirms marriage as a covenant of fidelity Ð a
dynamic life-long commitment of one man and one woman in a
personal and sexual union ... Marriage is not simply a legal
transaction which can be broken when the conditions under which it
was entered no longer exist. It is an unconditional relationship, a
total commitment based on faithful trust. This union embodies
God's loving purpose to create an enriched life ... Marriage is
ordained by God as a structure of the created order. Thus the
sanction of civil law and public recognition are important and
beneficial in marriage, as checks against social injustice and
personal sin ... . The relationship between husband and wife is
likened in Eph 5:21±23 to the relationship between Christ and the
church. This depicts a communion of total persons, each of them
living for the other. As with the covenant between Christ and the
church, the promise of fidelity is fundamental. Therefore, Christians
 88

regard marriage as a primary setting in which to live out their

calling from the Lord (``Social statement of the Lutheran Church in
America'' adopted in Minneapolis [1970:1], quoted by Nelson
[1978:139±140]).

The value of this analogy of a covenant lies in the fact that it is a binding
commitment involving a series of mutual and interlocking responsi-
bilities. One might argue that the term ``relationship'' (discussed below)
is a much more insubstantial one, leading to the argument that if the
relationship between the couple breaks down, it means that the marriage
has also irretrievably broken down.
marriage as a Another way of understanding marriage, and a more commonly used
relationship or understanding in our contemporary world, is that of marriage as a
partnership relationship or partnership. Terms such as faithfulness, companionship,
partnership, equality and joint responsibility are often used in relation to
this understanding of marriage. The value of the concept of a partnership
is that it resonates well with modern use of relational language and it
stresses the importance of the notion of an interpersonal relationship
within the marriage. However, the word relationship can be a rather
``slippery'' word which may have different meanings for different
people. In the sense in which it is used here, it refers to an association
between a man and a woman that includes mutual respect, affection and
concern. The term ``partnership'' is also often used by those who wish to
distance themselves from notions of male dominance. It introduces the
notions of mutuality, the sharing of responsibilities and the equality of
the married persons.
This understanding of marriage is also more accepting of the possibility
of no children resulting from the marriage. If one's basic understanding
of the purpose of marriage is that it will result in the birth of children
then, if either the wife is barren or the man is sterile, the result may be
extreme unhappiness or even divorce. If however one's understanding of
the purpose of marriage is that of a relationship of companionship, then
the key emphasis is on the relationship between the husband and the wife
and, even though great heartache may result as a result of the couple's
not being able to have children, it will not fundamentally destroy the
marriage.
To put it differently, some people stress the relationship between two
people, whereas others may stress marriage as an institution, believing
that this gives to marital life a greater stability and security. The
importance of regarding marriage as an institution lies in the fact that it is
a social structure within a community and has a legal framework. In
Africa, marriage is often seen as a marriage between two families. This is
made clear in the protracted negotiations that precede a marriage, where
a series of meetings take place between various members of the two
families. Also lobola (bride wealth or dowry) is negotiated and paid and,
in certain instances, may even be demanded back by the family of the
wife.
Marriage is a social and family institution and the marriage ceremony is
a public one, in which husband and wife take vows before a group of
 89 CGM302-T/1

witnesses. Because the marriage is accompanied by a legal and

contractual agreement, it takes on a much more binding form than
would be the case in ``common law'' marriages where people simply live
together without the benefits or obligations of a legal contract.
Terms such as ``contract'', ``covenant'', ``sacrament'', ``institution'' or
``partnership'', will not, however, save marriages from ending up in the
divorce courts. The value of these terms is that they help couples,
especially those who are about to be married, to understand more fully
what they are committing themselves to. Only if premarital guidance is
followed up by some form of ongoing marriage encounter workshops,
can the church be said to be making a determined effort to assist married
couples to grow towards each other in their marriage rather than growing
apart. It is for this reason that the whole matter of marital guidance, both
before and during marriage, is receiving much more attention by church
ministers and psychologists.

9.4 THE PURPOSE OR AIM OF MARRIAGE

_________________________________________

Activity 9.2

(1) If you are married, write down why you decided to get married. Were
these valid reasons that you would recommend to someone else?

(2) If you are not married, ask friends (or parents) why they decided to
get married.

(3) If you are not married, write down the reasons you have not married.

(4) Try to find someone (it may be you) who has made a conscious choice to
remain single. Why have they done so?
_________________________________________

views on the What, then, is the purpose of marriage? According to one writer on
purpose of ethics:
marriage
First, it provides a deep and intimate expression of love between or
among persons, including the giving and receiving of pleasure.
Second, it provides the means for procreating, or having children.
These purposes are not necessarily compatible or incompatible.
That is, people may have a permanent or lasting sexual relationship
without ever having children: or, in expressing their love for each
other, a man and a woman might have children as part of that
expression (Thiroux 1995:348).

In the Anglican prayer book (1989:458) the following statement is made

concerning marriage:
Customs in regard to married life may vary in different cultures, but
 90

for the Christian the three chief purposes of marriage are

unchangeable:
Marriage is given that a couple may know each other in mutual love
and find in each other the life-long companionship and support
which is God's intention for them.
In marriage God's gifts of sex and affection find their true and
lasting expression in an indissoluble relationship.
In the security of this relationship, children are born and brought up
in the love and fear of God, being entrusted by him as a sacred
charge to their parents.

Mutual love, full sexual expression, affection, security and possibly

children, are all mentioned.
_________________________________________

Activity 9.3

Consider the following picture of a famous marble sculpture.

ILLUSTRATION 9.3

``The Kiss''. The naturalness of its execution and the urgency of its subject
make this one of Rodin's most memorable works.

Source: Stewart (1997:154)

 91 CGM302-T/1

This is a statue entitled The Kiss by the artist Rodin which depicts the
passion of sexual love. How do you respond to this picture?

Now read the following statements and see which one is closest to what you
believe:

(1) Sex should be in marriage for the purpose of having children.

(2) Sex should be in marriage for pleasure, intimacy and, hopefully,

children.

(3) Sex can happen anytime, in any relationship, for pleasure and intimacy.
_________________________________________

Now see what some theologians have said:

one flesh With reference to the concept of ``one flesh'', Helen Oppenheimer makes
this comment:
Human beings are embodied creatures, animal and spiritual. The
institution of marriage is founded upon this double character of
human nature. On the one hand, for men and women, their physical
union is more than a merely biological activity: we cannot omit the
fact that it has something to do with love. Nor, on the other hand,
can we take married love as a purely spiritual affinity of souls,
needing no bodily expression (Turner 1989:87).

A similar point is made by Thiroux (1995:348):

The overwhelming evidence produced by psychology in the
nineteenth and twentieth centuries strongly suggests that human
beings are not merely instinctive animals, mating only at certain
times of the year for procreation, nor is human sexual intercourse
merely a biological function: rather, it is a deep and personal
expression and communication of oneself to others that brings forth
one of the greatest human pleasures and in which a great deal of
oneself is involved.

Another writer, Jack Dominian (1977:31) makes this useful distinction

between ``love and sex: love has the capacity of involving the whole
person, body, mind and feelings in personal affirmation and mutual love
whereas sex, either its exultation or dismissal, has the capacity of
reducing a person to a part, a danger of diminution and fragmentation of
a whole''. Dominian (1977:34) goes on to say:
One cannot over-emphasise that neither the frightened obsessional
pre-occupation which has made Christian circles treat bodily
encounter with utter apprehension, nor the opposite of utter
abandonment to bodily experience, do justice to human integrity Ð
which must always use the body as an instrument of love, but
discriminate [identify] the expression that is appropriate for the
specific relationship of the individual couple or group of persons.

Contrary to traditional Roman Catholic thinking, which emphasises the

 92

key purpose of marriage as being procreation, Dominian (1977:61)

argues that sexual intercourse within the marital relationship has the
primary purpose of serving the development of an interpersonal
wholeness and a realisation of the full potential of each partner. In his
view, the sexual relationship between the couple ought to be in service of
their love rather than simply being a physical end in itself. He regards the
following purposes as crucial: gratitude, hope, sexual identification,
acceptance and equality, and the potential of having children (Dominian
1977:62±63). In speaking of hedonism, Dominian (1977:69) makes the
following comment:
At the very heart of hedonism is not the pursuit of sexual pleasure
but the impermanency of human attachment. We use others for our
pleasure and neglect our responsibility to them as whole people. We
collude with others to give us sexual pleasure at the expense of
respecting the wholeness and depth of our own being.

the practice of love In his discussion of marriage, Dominian stresses that the marital
relationship needs to move beyond the state of ``falling in love'' to the
practice of loving. In the intimacy of marriage, loving means returning to
the key experiences of our first relationship of love between ourselves
and our parents in childhood. In this interchange such experiences as
attachment, trust, intimacy and autonomy, conflict and forgiveness,
authenticity versus superficiality, availability versus egoism, empathy
versus alienation, communication versus withdrawal, gentleness versus
aggression, are the ingredients out of which love is constructed
(Dominian & Montefiore 1989:42).
Dominian (1989:42) goes on to stress that the three central experiences
of all loving relationships, particularly marital relationships, are
sustaining, healing and growth. By sustaining he means the development
of a supportive framework for the marital relationship, which also
includes the importance of communication. With reference to healing, he
makes the point that ``all of us are wounded people'' requiring
``encouragement, reassurance, security, confidence and appreciation''
(Dominian 1989:43). By speaking of growth he makes the point that love
involves change and only in the context of reliable continuity, or
permanence, does the possibility for growth exist.
an interpersonal In contrast to the emphasis on procreation during earlier centuries, it has
relationship been in our century that the tradition and theology of the churches has
again emphasised the importance of the inter-personal aspect of marital
sexuality. In one of the Vatican II statements issued by the Roman
Catholic Church, this statement concerning commitment and growth
within marriage was made:
Thus, a man and a woman, who by the marriage covenant of
conjugal love ``are no longer two but one flesh'' (Matt 19:6), render
mutual help and service to each other through an intimate union of
their persons and of their actions. Through this union they
experience the meaning of their oneness and attain to it with
 93 CGM302-T/1

growing perfection day by day. As a mutual gift of two persons, this

intimate union, as well as the good of the children, imposes total
fidelity on the spouses and argues for an unbroken oneness between
them (From The church in the modern world, no 48, quoted in
Kosnik 1977:107).

From this quotation it can be seen that matters such as an ``intimate

partnership'' or ``a community love'' are stressed. This means that
emotional and mutual self-giving ought to be linked to physical and
sexual self-giving in order to develop the inter-personal relationship of
the couple as well as the individual characters of each of the partners. It
stands to reason that sexual intimacy cannot exist in a vacuum. The
greater the emotional, physical and mental closeness and the mutual
support between the two partners, the greater the possibility for sexual
intimacy and a form of pleasurable union that goes beyond transitory
sexual expression. It is for this reason that the touch of the hand of a
loved one can be far more meaningful, intimate and erotic than coitus
with a person for whom one has no love, respect or commitment.
The inter-connection between sexual union and mutual sharing in
partnership is expressed effectively by Kosnik (1977:111):
Complete sexual union expresses and perfects mutual sharing in a
singularly effective and unique manner. The sexual act itself,
however, is enriched in meaning and takes its full human
significance only from the total commitment from the marriage
partners in every other aspect of their lives. It is not enough,
therefore, to be concerned simply or primarily about the biological
integrity of the sexual expression of sexuality. The sexual behaviour
of married couples must be measured according to the values of
responsible partnership as well as responsible parenthood. Such
questions as the following may be helpful in assisting couples to
evaluate better their sexual intimacy from this perspective:
Does your sexual expression deepen your love and respect for each
other? Does it reflect sensitivity, thoughtfulness, and concern for the
other? Or is it more an imposition of self upon the other with an
almost exclusive concern for sensual gratification? Is it exploitative
and manipulative of the other? Does it enhance or restrict mutual
respect, trust, and growth?

permanence It is because of this stress on mutual sharing that Christian theologians

almost inevitably link marriage with the notion of permanency.
According to their arguments, unless a relationship is a permanent
relationship, the possibility of growth in terms of understanding and
faithfulness cannot easily occur. It is in the context of continuity and trust
that persons have the freedom and security to develop both as individual
persons and within the marital relationship. The aspect of faithfulness is
also often emphasised. This is as a result of the view that marriage ought
 94

to be a monogamous relationship in which the couple enjoy sexual

intimacy only with each other.
Therefore the marriage relationship cannot easily sustain sexual
unfaithfulness because this could result in a permanent severing of the
trust and security of the marriage. The truth of this is often borne out in
painful practical experience where one marital partner discovers that the
other has been engaged in sexual infidelity. Unless both partners are
prepared to spend enormous time and effort in restoring the relationship,
it is likely that the relationship will either end up in the divorce courts or
that a significant sundering of the relationship between the two married
partners will occur, even though they may not actually be legally
divorced. Many people can testify to the fact that either they themselves
or relatives and friends known to them are seemingly trapped in an
entirely loveless relationship.
_________________________________________

Activity 9.4

Make your own summary of this study unit using the following headings:

(1) How do various personal experiences and social contexts influence

perceptions of marriage?

(2) Write down your own definition of marriage. What ought marriage to
be?

(3) What role ought sex to play in marriage and how important is it?
_________________________________________

In this study unit we have considered the social context of marriage and
various forms of marriage. We investigated the definitions and purpose
of marriage as well as the images and symbols used to try to describe
what marriage involves. Some biblical passages, and their influence on
our thinking, were noted. Your own feelings about marriage were also
probed.
In the next study unit, we shall investigate the matter of marital
breakdown.
 95 CGM302-T/1

STUDY UNIT 10

Marital breakdown

OUTCOMES
After working through this study unit, you should be able to:
. list those factors that contribute to the breakdown of a marriage
. give reasons why and how premarital counselling can help those
who are about to get married
. note and assess biblical material regarding divorce and remarriage

10.1 WHAT IS MARITAL BREAKDOWN?

_________________________________________

Activity 10.1

(1) How would you define marital breakdown?

(2) List at least seven causes of marital breakdown.

(3) Do you think that the incidence of marital breakdown can be avoided Ð
or at least reduced?

(4) Provide four ways in which this can possibly be achieved.

_________________________________________

forms of marital Marital breakdown could be described as the crumbling or collapse of a

breakdown marriage. If the marital breakdown is complete, it ends in divorce. This
means the end of the marital partnership between the husband and wife
and, all too often, leads to the splitting up of the family with subsequent
suffering and trauma for all involved, particularly for the children. Large
numbers of marital breakdowns also have social implications, in that
those who come from broken marriages and families often act as a
dysfunctional force in the local and wider community.
Marital breakdown ought to be understood as a process. In most cases
the breakdown of a marriage does not occur overnight, but may be the
end-result of a series of maladjustments, misunderstandings, negative
external factors and the like. It should also be borne in mind that even if
 96

a marriage does end in the divorce courts, the emotional consequences

for breakdown are long-lasting. Some general causes of a marital
breakdown include the following:
general causes . The married partners stop sharing significant areas of their life and
either or both of the partners refrain from engaging in the necessary
effort that leads to communication and the growth of their
relationship.
. Low self-esteem.
. Unrealistic expectations of one's partner.
. Fear of emotional and sexual intimacy and diverse understandings of
the purpose of marriage.
. Economic hardship.
. Battering.
. Adultery/infidelity.

Many other factors could be listed as leading to marital breakdown, and

in any given situation a series of combinations of these reasons may lead
to the collapse of the marriage.
additional factors From a Christian perspective, the absence of God in a marriage could
also lead to marital conflict and even breakdown. This is because of the
understanding that all human persons and human relationships ought to
be undertaken and developed in relationship to God and God's purposes
for humanity. If it is true, as the New Testament asserts, that ``love is
from God'', marital love can be significantly developed and extended if
both persons are drawing on God in terms of the development of their
personalities as well as their marital relationship.
Another factor leading to marital breakdown is that of insufficient
knowledge of and concern for one's partner. In pre-industrial Western
culture and in African culture up until more recently, most marriages
were arranged between families who knew each other well. This does not
mean that all these marriages were happy or successful, but it does mean
that the success of the marriage was not solely dependent on the
relationship between two particular individuals. In many cases both the
marriage partners' families knew each other, to a greater or a lesser
extent, and the protracted arrangements that led to the final marriage
ceremony meant that there was ample opportunity for the relationship
between all the parties involved to develop.
This is not to imply that arranged marriages ought to be romanticised:
they can and have led to great unhappiness and grief. Nevertheless, these
long-term arrangements are obviously preferable to what often happens
nowadays when two people ``fall in love'' and enter into a marriage
contract in a matter of days or weeks. Because there has not been enough
time for the couple to really get to know each other in their total
psychological and social context, many of resulting marriages may well
be doomed to failure.
premarital and Another reason for the breakdown of marriage is that there has not been
post-marital enough premarital and post-marital counselling. This does not mean that
counselling every marriage requires both premarital and post-marital counselling, but
 97 CGM302-T/1

it cannot be denied that proper preparation for marriage and ongoing

assistance in marriage is vastly preferable to simply waving the married
couple goodbye as they depart from the church ceremony, leaving them
entirely to their own devices. This is especially true in the modern world
where so many factors impinge on the marriage and the marital
relationship is open to a host of temptations and difficulties.
Furthermore, because proper moral and communal socialisation is no
longer a dominant factor in the nurturing or socialisation of children and
young people, inadequate preparations may have been made, not only
for marriage, but also for the development of the characters or
personalities of the people involved. This results in personal immaturity.
To put it differently, the individuals lack the ability to assume the
obligations attached to marriage. Because of their emotional or
intellectual immaturity, they are unable to fulfil the obligations of the
fairly complex institution of marriage. Some may be puerile or childish
in their emotional development, which would lead to exhibitions of
hostility, insensitivity and immaturity. Other factors may include sexual,
physical and psychological difficulties such as frigidity, sterility, lack of
sensitivity, premature ejaculation, and lack of self-control Ð in addition
to the other factors already mentioned above.
some external A number of external factors may also play a role in this regard, such as
factors conflict originating from the negative interference of family members. It
is not by accident that the mother-in-law is a subject of so many jokes.
The interference of parents or other siblings in the marriage can have
extremely negative consequences. This is not to say that the wider or
extended family ought not to show any interest in the marriage of a
couple within the family. It is, however, important that other persons
involve themselves in a marriage in a sensitive manner, with the right
motives, and aiming to achieve a positive benefit for the couple and the
family.
Other external factors that may affect a marriage include the desire for
social status and financial stability or the need for accommodation and
employment. In addition, the role played by the friends of either of the
spouses can be beneficial or destructive. Cultural factors such as role
expectations for the husband and the wife, as well as matters such as
patriarchal social structures which result in the perpetual childhood of
women, and the view that women are there to serve men, will obviously
have an effect on a marriage. This would be particularly true if both
partners want to have equal status within the marriage.
The variety of issues mentioned above ought to alert us to the fact that
both marriage and marital breakdown are complex matters that cannot be
discussed simplistically. Nor is it easy to reverse the trend of marital
breakdown. Even the best counsellor in the world will not be able to
reverse the trend if one or both of the spouses have no interest in
restoring the marriage. It is also true that the longer a potential marital
breakdown is ignored, the more difficult it will be to restore the original
relationship of affection and trust between the married partners. As
 98

indicated earlier, even if a marriage does end in divorce, this is not a final
solution because the financial, family and emotional consequences of
divorce are both widespread and deep-seated. If one or both of the
divorced partners wishes to remarry, they are faced not only with legal
and religious problems, but also with a host of psychological and family
complications.
_________________________________________

Activity 10.2

Professor Larson, head of Family and Marriage Therapy at Brigham Young

University, Utah, has stated that most marital strife can be traced to the
couple's pre-wedding relationship. He has provided the following test for
couples seeking to marry. Read it for yourself:

Your marriage suitability tested

The stronger the disagreement between you and your partner over
these statements, the more likely you are to have an unhappy marriage:
(1) Being married is the first or second most important thing in life.
(2) Mothers have more natural ability than fathers in relating to infants.
(3) Couples do not need to share many hobbies.
(4) Sex is a key to marital satisfaction.
(5) Sharing my feelings and concerns about our relationship with
family and friends is okay.
(6) Money may not buy happiness but it does help.
(7) A couple should delay having children until other important issues
are worked out.
(8) Relationships are unpredictable.
(9) When I'm upset with my partner I ignore him or her.
(10) Time will resolve any problems we have as a couple.
(11) It is important for a husband and wife to have as many of the same
friends as possible and to like each other's friends.
(12) Couples should look carefully for bargains.
(13) It is important that my family has the finer things in life.
(14) People get stuck in marriage.
(15) It would not bother me if the wife earned more than the husband.
Source: Saturday Star, October 28 (2000:11)

(1) Compare this list with the points already made in this section on
marital breakdown.

(2) If you were a pastor, a parent or marriage counsellor, what steps would
you take to prepare a couple Ð not simply for the wedding Ð but for
marriage? List at least five points.
_________________________________________
 99 CGM302-T/1

10.2 WHAT IS ADULTERY?

Adultery is the voluntary entering into a sexual relationship with
someone other than one's marriage partner. Adultery is usually entered
into without the knowledge or consent of one's marriage partner and it
involves infidelity or unfaithfulness to one's marriage partner. Thiroux
(1995:355) explains the occurrence of marital infidelity thus:
It would be foolish, of course, not to recognise that many marriages
are not ideal, that one (or both) of the partners may not relate well to
the other at any level, including the sexual. This means that
dissatisfied partners often look for other human relationships that
will fulfill them in ways their own marriage relationship will not,
and when their marriage relationship is an unhappy one, people are
often tempted to engage in adultery with a person they feel will
make them happy or give them pleasure, if only for a brief period of
time. (Occasionally, this time lengthens and leads to some form of
permanence.)

While there may be many reasons for the decision to commit adultery, it
has serious implications for the marital relationship. Despite this, there is
some debate about whether adultery is always wrong in itself or negative
in its consequences.
There are several modern voices calling for open marriages, or at least
for marriages in which infidelity and adultery are not regarded as
synonymous terms. It is argued by some that adultery means sexual
intercourse with someone other than one's married partner. Infidelity,
however, is the breaking of the bonds of faithfulness, trust and
commitment between the two married people.
_________________________________________

Activity 10.3

(1) Read the following statement regarding marriage:

If we insist on permanence, exclusivity is harder to enforce; if we

insist on exclusivity, permanence may be endangered (Nelson
1978:147).

(2) Is it more important to preserve sexual exclusivity in marriage or to

preserve long-term commitment for personal support and friendship
and to raise children in a stable home?

(3) Do you think exclusivity in marriage helps or hinders the permanence

of a relationship?

(4) How would you evaluate this discussion in terms of your faith? In other
words, what do Christians teach about adultery (or the importance of
an exclusive relationship) or commitment (permanence)?
_________________________________________
 100

infidelity equals Against those who argue for a separation between the meanings of
adultery adultery and infidelity, the following arguments can be advanced. Firstly,
the biblical evidence rejects both infidelity and adultery and regards
them as indistinguishable. Reference can be made to Exodus 20:14,
Deuteronomy 22:22 and Mark 10:19. Even though Jesus shows
compassion to the woman caught in adultery, he does instruct her to
``sin no more'' (John 8:8±11). Secondly, the need for friendships and
relationships outside the marriage may be readily admitted, but these
cannot include intimate sexual relationships. If the function of
intercourse is regarded as both procreative and initiative, then it can
be argued that the introduction of a third or fourth party into the sexual
marital relationship irretrievably affects the initiative function in a direct
way.
adultery What arguments are used against adultery? The most important argument
against adultery is that it involves a violation of the unity of the ``one
flesh'' created by the marital relationship. In other words, it involves a
breaking of the intimate physical and emotional trust between two
people. Sexual unfaithfulness also involves lying and cheating because
one is inevitably breaking the relationship of trust and fidelity created by
the marriage and also because, in order to hide the fact of adultery, lying
often becomes necessary. Adultery also leads to other destructive
consequences such as separation or divorce and the suffering of any
children who are involved. This, in turn, leads to social and community
dislocation in both the short and long term. Another possible
consequence of adultery is that the marriage partners are much more
vulnerable to sexual diseases such as syphilis and AIDS.
Those people who argue in favour of adultery generally do so on the basis
of the argument of sexual freedom. They are free, it is argued, to do what
they want to in their own ``private'' sex lives. Although they may
recognise some responsibility to their spouse, they do not recognise the
right of anyone else to comment on their private sexual affairs. This
``sexual freedom'' argument is usually opposed by those who argue that
even if the adulterer is not found out, his or her actions lead intrinsically
to a breaking down of the marital relationship, as well as a destruction of
the integrity of the two parties involved in the adulterous relationship.
Furthermore, adultery seldom remains a secret for long, and therefore it
inevitably affects a much wider range of people. In other words, adultery
is not simply a private sexual issue. Some marriage partners have
engaged in what is commonly called ``wife swopping''. Again, even
though consent may have been obtained in these instances, it can still be
argued that these activities do not and cannot contribute to the meaning
and value of the relationship between the two married partners. The term
``extra-marital sex'', then, refers to those who are unfaithful to their
marriage vows and engage in adultery.
In some instances, infidelity may be followed by confession, repentance,
forgiveness and a re-committal of marital vows. In other instances,
adultery may lead to separation or divorce. A third possibility is that the
couple may remain married while one or both of the partners will
 101 CGM302-T/1

continue to have extramarital sexual relationships. In this case, the

couple may remain legally married, even though the intimacy and trust
of the marriage bond will already have been partially or fully severed.

10.3 DIVORCE AND REMARRIAGE

_________________________________________

Activity 10.4

(1) Should divorce, in your view, be allowed by the church? Provide three
reasons to defend your view.

(2) What is the position of your own church, or a church known to you, on
divorce? (You may need to find out if you do not know the answer to
this question.)

(3) What are the consequences, for the whole family, of divorce?

(4) What are the consequences, for the whole family, if divorce is not
permitted in the case of severe marital breakdown?
_________________________________________

incidence and The Catholic writer Dominian states that he regards divorce as one of the
effects of divorce most important social and moral issues of our time. He quotes statistics
that point out that in the period from the early 1960s to the late 1980s
divorce increased by 600 percent in Britain (Dominian & Montefiore
1989:46). This is an alarming statistic, which is easily equalled in many
other countries in the world. Dominian (1989:47) also points to the
massive consequences of divorce:
The doctor sees the stress symptoms associated with marital
conflict; the hospital the consequences in alcohol consumption,
affective disorders, suicidal attempts, suicides and general disease.
The teacher sees the adverse consequences on children in their
behaviour at school; the clergy the immense moral dilemmas posed
by divorce; the magistrate the results of juvenile delinquency; the
solicitor the unhappiness and anger of frustrated spouses; and
society picks up the bill of nearly two billion pounds a year as a cost
of marital breakdown.

church teachings The way in which one defines the nature and purpose of marriage will
on divorce determine one's reactions to both divorce and remarriage. Thus, the
Roman Catholic insistence that marriage is a sacrament means that
Roman Catholics are seriously opposed to divorce and only allow
divorce in situations where the persons involved are able to obtain an
official annulment of the marriage. Only in these situations is it possible
for divorced persons to be remarried in a Catholic Church. Technically,
the Roman Catholic use of the concept of nullity means the following:
 102

the decree of nullity is a decree that there never was a valid marriage in
the first place Ð this means that the question of remarriage does not
arise since the couple are not regarded as ever having been married.
In their discussions about divorce, Roman Catholics make a distinction
between couples where both husband and wife are baptised and those
marriages in which one partner has not been baptised in the Catholic
Church. The church may dissolve a marriage in which only one person
has been baptised (the so-called Pauline privilege). But a marriage
between two baptised persons which was sealed by intercourse cannot be
dissolved (Verryn 1975:85).
Concerning divorce, both the Roman Catholic Church and the Anglican
communion do not recognise the possibility of divorce and generally
base this rejection of divorce on Jesus's prohibition in Mark 10:8: ``What
God has joined together let no one separate.'' The issue that arises
following this verse is whether this represents an ideal, that is God's will
for marriages, or whether this is a total prohibition of divorce. Some
commentators have made so much of this verse that divorce ends up
being regarded as the unforgivable sin, which is not legitimate. The
unforgivable sin is the continuing refusal to listen to the voice of the
Holy Spirit (Heb 6:1±8 and 10:26±31). On the other hand, it is also not
valid to simply ignore this verse.
If marriage is regarded as a covenant, and particularly if it is regarded as
an unconditional covenant, it is also difficult to see how one can argue
for divorce (see Anderson & Guernsey 1985:29±52). If it is argued that
because God has loved us unconditionally and bound us to him or her
unconditionally, then it generally follows that a married couple need to
stay together no matter what the circumstances. It has often been argued
by pastoral counsellors that there are no exceptions to the marriage
covenant and that it is a permanent, binding covenant.
Concerning divorce, with reference to Jesus's statements in Luke 16:18,
Mark 10:11, Matthew 5:32 and Matthew 19:39 and 19:19, it seems clear
that Jesus was in principle against the notion and possibility of divorce.
Having accepted this basic approach, it is not clear whether Jesus himself
puts forward any exceptions (eg the famous Matthean exception) or
whether it was the church itself which later sought to accommodate
human weakness by allowing divorce in certain cases (1 Cor 7:10ff).
It is significant that the Roman Catholic Church (and to some extent the
Anglican communion) does not make any accommodation for human
weakness or failure. In effect this means that the ``innocent'' party in a
marital breakdown Ð for example the person who is sinned against by
the partner's engaging in an extramarital relationship Ð cannot be
granted a divorce nor can he or she be granted the opportunity of
remarriage. It also means that people who find themselves in abusive
situations, for example wives being battered or emotionally and sexually
abused, have no opportunity of escape from the marriage other than by
separation. It also means that these persons cannot remarry. In contrast to
this approach, several Protestant churches have opened the door to
 103 CGM302-T/1

divorce, albeit reluctantly. These churches would not regard divorce as

an unforgivable sin, but they seek to identify the reasons why people
entered into a divorce and also offer the possibility of forgiveness for
these persons and an opportunity to re-enter another marital relationship.
In relation to divorce, the emphasis in recent years has been not so much
on the ``violation of a contract but on the viability of a relationship''
(Dominian & Montefiore 1989:39). If, however, marriage is regarded as
a relationship of commitment between two people, if this relationship is
severely damaged, it follows that possibilities for divorce emerge. Whilst
Christians are not eager or willing to simply agree to divorce for any and
every reason, many Christian theologians have, especially in recent
years, argued that there are situations in which divorce is permissible for
a Christian. These include the following:
. unfaithfulness or infidelity
. a lack of genuine love
. marital rape, physical battering, emotional abuse
. desertion
. continuing alcoholism or some other obsession such as gambling
. the physical ill-treatment, emotional abuse or sexual abuse of children

10.4 THE BIBLE AND DIVORCE

In the Old Testament, both a stress on the permanence of marriage
(Mal 2:10±16) and opportunities for men to divorce their wives
(Deut 24:1ff) are to be found. It must be noted that wives could not
divorce their husbands and that divorced wives had little or no
opportunity to provide financially for themselves or to be accepted
socially. It is against this background of the vulnerability of women that
the passage in Malachi must be read. The prophet argues that a man who
divorces the wife of his youth has ``dealt treacherously'' with one who
was his companion and wife by covenant.
In the New Testament, as already indicated, Jesus is opposed to divorce.
But how ought the ``Matthean exception'' to be interpreted? Matthew
5:23 and 19:9 are particularly important in the discussion about divorce.
This is because they include what is termed the porneia clause, which
the other Gospel accounts (Luke 16:18 and Mark 10:10±12) do not
include. The verse reads as follows:
And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for immorality
[porneia], and marries another, commits adultery (Matt 19:9).

Much discussion and argument has resulted from this porneia clause.
Some commentators argue that this clause is an example of a later scribal
addition (in other words, it was at some point added by a scribe to the
original text). Another view is that it is an authentic statement of Jesus in
which Jesus himself allows for divorce in the event of unchastity, marital
unfaithfulness or, possibly, sexual abuse of one kind or another.
Still other commentators argue that if Jesus permitted this exception, it
 104

also opens the door for other exceptions to exist. They would refer to the
text in 1 Corinthians 7:10±15 in which Paul argues that the unbelieving
spouse may legitimately get divorced from a believing spouse. Paul does
make the point, however, that this decision ought not to be made by the
believing spouse, but only by the unbelieving spouse.
A third group argues that if an exception is mentioned directly by Jesus
himself as well as in this passage by Paul, it ought not to be argued that a
particular marriage is indissoluble. Particular exceptions may be posited
to provide legitimacy to divorce: these include the reasons listed earlier
such as physical abuse, desertion, sexual abuse, unfaithfulness and the
like.
an analysis of Another passage that deserves further attention is Ephesians 5:21±33.
Ephesians 5 This important passage regarding marriage in the Pauline writings has
often been subject to misinterpretation and abuse. The verses which are
generally quoted are the following:
Wives, be subject to your own husbands as to the Lord. For the
husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the
church, he himself being the Saviour of the body. But as the church
is subject to Christ, so the wives ought to be to their husbands in
everything. Husbands love your wives just as Christ loved the
church and gave himself up for her (Eph 5:22±25).

This passage is often misinterpreted to mean that wives need to be not

simply obedient but to be in subjection to their husbands, never
questioning or disobeying them. However, submission, as it is used in
Ephesians, has reference to relationships within the church. The church,
as a community, has no place for individualism or arrogance. Joyful
fellowship results from order and discipline where members submit to
each other ``in the Lord''. The church may teach that it is the duty of the
wife to submit to the authority and leadership of the husband Ð but not
unconditionally. And it is the duty of the husband to love her as
generously as Christ loves the church (Eph 5:21).
Further, these verses themselves include several significant qualifica-
tions. Thus Ephesians 5:22 includes the phrase ``as to the Lord'', in other
words wives are not required to obey their husbands if their husbands
insist on their doing or saying something that would be contrary to the
wives' obedience to the Lord. Secondly, the ``headship'' of the husband
is compared to the headship of Christ over the church and this headship,
as we can see in the New Testament (Matt 20:18±28), is not a negative
or abusive one. This is further reflected in Ephesians 5:25ff where the
emphasis is on the love that Christ has for the church.
In addition to the statements made above, verses 22±25 need to be seen
in the wider context of the book of Ephesians as well as this particular
chapter. Ephesians 4:17±21 provides a long list of Christian qualities.
These qualities are expected from Christians as a whole, including
couples who are married. You may wish to read this text before
 105 CGM302-T/1

continuing. If married couples followed these moral precepts, would

marital breakdown not be significantly decreased?
Another particularly important verse is Ephesians 5:21 ``and be subject
to one another in the fear of Christ''. This verse is significant because it
emphasises the principle of mutual submission without which the
submission spoken of in verse 22 cannot be properly understood. One of
the basic themes of the book of Ephesians is that of the church and
Christ's love for the church. The book emphasises that Christ has given
himself for the church so that those coming to know Christ would
experience the salvation and freedom offered by the gospel of Christ.
Similarly, we need to ask whether married couples experience their
marriage as one of salvation and freedom.
These verses also need to be seen in the light of Jesus's teaching. Jesus
continually affirmed women, raising their position to one of equality
with men. In John 8, Jesus confronted the men with their sin rather than
condemning the woman caught in adultery. Another example is found in
Luke 10 where Jesus encouraged Mary to move out of the traditional role
for women and to listen to his teaching rather than prepare food.
These verses in Ephesians and other similar verses such as those in 1
Peter need to be read in the context of biblical times. In biblical times
women were seen as little more than the property of men. When Paul
calls on husbands to love their wives he is taking women very seriously
as people in their own right, rather than as possessions of men. This was
a radical position that took women seriously. It transformed their
position from one of unquestioning obedience to one where husbands
had to consider their wives, and what their wives wanted and needed.
This radical transformation of relationships between men and women
should still be a reality today.
This was no new command for women to obey their husbands.
Obedience was simply part of the patriarchal expectations for society.
Rather women were being called to a far more radical Christian position.
Women are called to love their husbands as Christ loved the church. Men
are also called to love their wives as Christ loved the church. This kind
of love is of far more value than obedience. It sets out what it means to
live a marriage relationship as a Christian. Genuine and spontaneous
love far outweighs passive obedience (on the part of women) or active
compulsion (on the part of men).
The stress in this passage is that husbands are required by Paul to
actually love their wives. It is for this reason that commentators have
argued that it is unethical for marriage counsellors to expect wives to be
subject to their husbands if these husbands are not loving their wives.
This is so because Paul has directed specific instructions to the two
parties in a marital relationship. This means that a wife in an abusive
situation cannot, on the basis of this passage, be required to submit
endlessly to the violence of her husband, because the husband himself is
not obeying the injunctions of this passage which are directed towards
him, nor is he fulfilling his own marital oaths or promises.
 106

In other words, passages such as this one need to be looked at much

more carefully than is often the case. They have often been used to say
something which Paul certainly did not intend and this has meant that
women in particular have been encouraged by certain pastors to submit
to situations to which they ought not to have been expected to submit.
These household codes need to be seen in the light of God's love as
revealed in Jesus and balanced with other scriptures such as Galatians
3:28. This affirmation in Galatians is also found in Ephesians and
Colossians and has been seen almost as a creed of the early church. It
reverses the Jewish prayer in which male Jews prayed: ``Thank you
Lord, for not making me a Gentile, a slave or a woman.'' Paul must have
had this in mind when he wrote Galatians 3:28. It proclaims that all
distinctions of religion, race, class, nationality and gender are
insignificant (Fiorenza 1983:213). Women and men in the Christian
community are not defined by their sexual, procreative capacities or by
their religious, cultural or social gender roles, but by their discipleship
and the empowering of the Spirit (Fiorenza 1983:212).
We need to ask whether a more radical re-interpretation of texts such as
Ephesians 5 ought to be considered. Given the patriarchal context of
Paul's day, is it valid to perpetuate the expectation that women ought to
obey their husbands? Many would argue that this expectation is
outdated. Others seek to re-interpret these texts rather than simply
discarding them.
During New Testament times, the Gospel transformed the relationships
between Jew and Gentile in the church. However, this transformation
was much slower in the area of class (rich and poor) and gender (male
and female). Since then, sadly, many social structures of domination (eg
of men over women) have been reinforced by the church rather than
being questioned and transformed. How willing are we to change as a
result of the call of the gospel today?
_________________________________________

Activity 10.5

Draft your own summary of the study unit by answering the following
questions:

(1) Draw up a list of possible reasons for marital breakdown. Do any of

these reasons resonate with your own experience or the experience of
someone close to you?

(2) Do you think divorce ought to be permitted in certain circumstances?

Outline and defend your view. Has your view changed as a result of
reading this study unit?

(3) What, if anything, have you learnt from reading this study unit that
can assist you in your own marital relationship or in relation to the
marriages of others who may come to you for help?
 107 CGM302-T/1

(4) To what extent is the above discussion on Ephesians 5 new to you Ð or

does it conform with your own thinking? Do you largely agree or
disagree with this interpretation Ð why?

(5) What is the relevance of interpretations of Ephesians 5 to marital

breakdown?
_________________________________________

In concluding this study unit, the following points ought to be noted. At

both a theoretical and practical level, marriage is a complex issue. Not
only do people differ in their perceptions of the nature and purpose of
marriage, but churches themselves are somewhat divided on this
issue Ð particularly where it comes to divorce and remarriage.
Furthermore, the particular emotional, family and social contexts within
which marriage is experienced cannot be ignored. Marriage is not simply
a matter of correct theoretical formulation but also of practical
experience Ð which may be positive or negative.
Marital breakdown is a very real possibility and married couples ought to
be given much more support by their families and the local church. Only
if all the parties involved work at developing a healthy and meaningful
marital bond, can marriage achieve the purposes outlined in this and
other study units. In particular, church leaders and members ought to
consider whether the teachings and practices of their church help or
hinder the proper functioning of marriages and families.
 108

STUDY UNIT 11

Homosexuality

OUTCOMES
After working through this study unit, you should be able to:
. explain and assess the various views regarding the definitions,
incidence and causes of homosexuality
. outline and evaluate the various Christian responses to homo-
sexuality, including the various interpretations of the relevant
biblical texts
. identify and respond to the ethical issues raised by homosexuality
. state and defend your own views

Please note: The issue of homosexuality is further discussed in study

unit 12.

The whole matter of homosexuality has in recent years received a great

deal of attention, both in the media and within the churches. There have
been many different reactions to homosexuality (eg by the gay rights
activists) with some people vehemently arguing in favour of homo-
sexuality whereas others have vehemently argued against homosexuality.
There is, perhaps, a third group involved in the debate, namely those
who have not quite made up their minds either way.

Christians and Where do Christians stand in relation to this debate? Some scholars have
homosexuality argued that homosexuality, if expressed within faithful relationships, is a
valid expression of Christian faith for those people who have a
homosexual orientation. Other scholars have argued that, although an
attitude of love and compassion ought to be extended to homosexuals,
the practice of homosexual sexual intimacy is not a valid lifestyle for a
Christian. It can be seen from this that some people make a distinction
between what is termed a homosexual orientation, that is an attraction to
members of the same sex and homosexual practices, that is homosexual
acts. In other words, some have argued that even though one may have a
homosexual orientation, it is not valid, for a Christian, to give expression
to homosexual inclinations and live a homosexual lifestyle.
 109 CGM302-T/1
_________________________________________

Activity 11.1

Consider the following illustration based on a photograph taken during a Gay

Rights march in the USA.

ILLUSTRATION 11.1

Out and proud. Marchers in the first Gay Pride march parade through the
street of New York City in 1973.

Source: Stewart (1997:61)

(1) What is your instinctive reaction to this photograph?

(2) Why?

(3) What does this tell you about your views concerning homosexuality?

(4) Are you able to say why you think and feel like this?

_________________________________________

My own view most closely resembles the ``rejecting-compassionate''

view discussed below. However, a number of my friends and colleagues,
whom I respect, hold either the ``partial acceptance'' or ``full
 110

acceptance'' positions. This, obviously, gives one pause to think. Further,

I have met several people who are practising homosexuals, both inside
and outside the church. Their presence and my relationship with them
demands that I grapple with my feelings and beliefs. This has influenced
how I, and many others, respond to homosexuality. It is very difficult to
say to someone, ``I accept you but condemn the expression of your
sexuality.''
Homosexuality, like abortion and euthanasia, are hotly debated in the
contemporary church. Often, Christians are deeply divided on these and
other ethical issues. Thus, in relation to homosexuality as well as other
matters discussed in this study guide such as divorce, remarriage and
singleness, I invite my students to carefully evaluate the views outlined
here and in other available literature. You need to be able to discuss the
various views, identify your own approach, and to defend the view that
you hold. All of us need to be self-critical, open and willing to listen. We
also need to be true to our own convictions, and test these against our
faith and the convictions of others.

11.1 DEFINITIONS OF HOMOSEXUALITY

_________________________________________

Activity 11.2

(1) How would you define homosexuality? Use a few sentences to describe
your view.

(2) What would you say are the causes of homosexuality?

(3) How have your views on homosexuality developed? Are they based on
personal experience, church teachings, reading or watching television,
or have you been influenced by friends or family?

(4) If you were a pastor of a church, would you be willing to marry a

homosexual couple? Why, or why not?

_________________________________________

same-sex One of the key matters here is the definition of homosexuality. Possibly
attraction the broadest definition is to speak in terms of ``same-sex'' attraction as
opposed to ``opposite-sex'' attraction. Therefore, males sexually
attracted to each other are generally referred to as gays or
homosexuals, whereas women homosexuals are generally referred to
as lesbians. In general terms, however, the term ``homosexual'' is often
used of both men and women.
orientation or Ought homosexuality to be defined as an orientation (or attraction) to
activity? members of the same sex, or ought it to be defined as relating to sexual
 111 CGM302-T/1

behaviour or activity? The first definition stresses orientation or

inclination whereas the second is activity-centred or behaviour-centred.
The importance of the definition of homosexuality is revealed in the
argument that whereas certain people, for example as adolescents, may
have experienced an attraction to a member of the same sex (such as a
teacher or a senior student at school), this does not mean that these
people are homosexual. Therefore, some scholars define a homosexual
as someone who performs genital sexual acts with a member of the same
sex. Note that the emphasis here is on genital sexual acts and not on
common expressions of affection such as holding hands or giving hugs.
Certain cultural differences also need to be noted. It is relatively common
in African countries, for example, to see two black men walking along
the street holding hands. This would not normally be regarded as a sign
of homosexual attraction. If two white men in California, however, were
to perform the same act it, quite possibly, would be regarded as a sign of
homosexual attraction or a ``same-sex'' relationship. In relation to
women, signs of public affection are much more common and would
often not be regarded by observers as signs of homosexual attraction.
This means that the cultural contexts in which affection is displayed need
to be taken into consideration. It is probably best, then, for
homosexuality to be defined as the expression of sexual attraction
through intimate genital sexual relationships.
situational Another important consideration is what is sometimes termed
homosexuality ``situational homosexuality''. This refers to homosexual practices in
particular circumstances, for example in prisons or hostels. In these
circumstances some people may argue that the deprivation of normal
sexual activity has given rise to an abnormal situation in which
situational homosexuality is practised. The persons concerned would
probably not engage in homosexual genital activity if they were not in a
prison or hostel situation.

11.2 THE INCIDENCE OF HOMOSEXUALITY

Kinsey's data What about the incidence of homosexuality? A number of studies have
been conducted over the years to seek to establish what percentage of the
population has been or still is engaged in homosexual activity. During
the 1940s and 1950s an American by the name of Albert Kinsey
conducted a number of surveys as a result of which he claimed that one
in ten men was predominantly or exclusively homosexual. He also
claimed that 37 percent of all adult males have had some post-adolescent
homosexual experience. The results of this study were initially
questioned because a large percentage of the persons whom he
interviewed were from boarding houses, prisons, tertiary colleges,
mental asylums, gay groups and even hitchhikers whom he encountered
along the highways of America. Therefore, some have argued that the
sample upon which Kinsey based his findings was not a representative
sample of the population at large.
 112

more recent In recent years there has been intense debate about the original data
surveys collected by Kinsey concerning homosexuality. John Court and Neil
Whitehead (1996:338) have argued that the methods used by Kinsey (in
both collecting and interpreting data) are now being seriously
questioned. Even at the time when Kinsey's Male Report was
published, several scientists criticised his methodology, biases and
conclusions. Amongst these were the American Statistical Association
and the distinguished psychologist Abraham Maslow (Court &
Whitehead 1996:339). More recent studies have indicated that figures
such as 1,7 percent may be an underestimate and a figure of 3 percent
would constitute an upper-limit correction (Court & Whitehead
1996:342).
In a recent Time magazine article (17 October 1994:54±60) the results of
a University of Chicago survey reported that ``only 2,7% of men and
1,3% of women report that they had homosexual sex in the last year''.
The report went on to say that 7,1 percent of men and 3,8 percent of
women reported that they had had sex with someone of their gender
since puberty. These figures are significantly lower than the 10 percent
estimated by Kinsey. Furthermore, if one considers the percentage of
both men and women who have engaged in long-standing homosexual
relationships, the figures are even lower.
Court and Whitehead (1996:344) have reached the following conclusion:
The whole basis for [Kinsey's] set of propositions has now been
seriously challenged, so that the consensus of professional evidence
suggests that 1±2 percent of males and a lower frequency of females
occupy the exclusively homosexual category. By extension, the bi-
sexual community is also much smaller than Kinsey estimates led
us to believe. In this shift of number, we should note that the basis
for such estimates is now much more closely related to patterns of
behaviour than orientation. Whereas Kinsey confused the two,
contemporary research is driven by questions about AIDS and risky
behaviour. Hence questions are concerned with active sexual
involvement and especially anal sexual intercourse ... which is
widely known to be the most risky form of sexual behaviour for
AIDS transmission.

A fairly recent survey broadcast on Radio 702 claimed that the incidence
of homosexuality is as high or higher than that of the Kinsey Report. It
stated that if the world was a global village of 100 people 11 of them
would be homosexual. This is close to Kinsey's 10 percent.
The differences in these surveys show that there is no consensus as to the
numbers of people who are homosexual. It is difficult to ascertain the
exact incidence of homosexuality in a given society. Still less is it
possible to assess the incidence of homosexuality in countries where
surveys have not been conducted. Also, the results of the surveys are not
in themselves evidence that homosexuality is a valid expression of
human sexuality. What is clear is that it is a minority position but that
 113 CGM302-T/1

there are a significant number of people who are homosexual. A more

important question is whether homosexuality is a valid expression of
human sexuality. Also important is how homosexual people are treated.

11.3 THE ORIGINS OR CAUSES OF HOMOSEXUALITY

This raises the matter of the causes of homosexuality. As may be
expected, those people who affirm the validity of homosexual orientation
and practice suggest different reasons to those who regard homosexuality
as an ``abnormal'' or unacceptable expression of sexual desire.
Those who argue in favour of homosexual orientation as a ``normal'' or
``natural'' attraction argue that the cause of homosexuality lies in an
inherent, inborn sexual orientation. In other words, homosexuals are
born and not made. A recent report on The church and human sexuality,
published by the Church of the Province of South Africa, distinguishes
between two positions. The first is sometimes called the essentialist
position and it argues that ``sexual orientation is in-born, natural in a
scientifical sense, perhaps even genetic'' and the constructionist position
according to which ``human beings construct their sexuality, and that
sexual orientation is a product of social environment'' (The church and
human sexuality 1995:22).

11.3.1 The essentialist and constructionalist positions

definitions According to the essentialist position, if one is born a homosexual, one's
natural inclination throughout life will be towards members of the same
sex. Christian theologians who adopt this approach would further argue
that the expression of one's homosexual orientation needs to be in a
relationship of faithfulness and commitment, similar to what ought to be
the case between heterosexual partners. It is for this reason that certain
groups around the world have formed gay and lesbian rights
organisations, both in the broader society and within church
groupings. These persons would also argue that homosexuals should,
if they experience a call from God, be permitted to enter the ordained
ministry. In addition, it is said that homosexual couples ought to be
married according to church sacrament in the same way that heterosexual
couples are married by clergy in a church.
On the opposite side of the spectrum, the constructionalists argue that
homosexual orientation is some form of aberration of the `'normal''
sexual drive. Thus, ``normal'' or ``natural'' sexual expression is that
which occurs between a man and a woman and not between two men or
two women. According to this view, affection, friendship and
companionship between members of the same sex are valuable and
necessary for human maturity and relationship. But friendship ought not
to be expressed in a sexual way, for then the two persons move from
being friends to being lovers. Members of the same sex, according to this
view, ought not to be lovers. Genital sexual activity ought only to be
practised by heterosexuals, that is members of the opposite sexes.
 114

11.3.2 The nature versus nurture debate

One element of the debate on the causes of homosexuality is sometimes
called the nature versus nurture debate. In other words, are persons
homosexuals by nature, that is have they an inherent homosexual
orientation or are persons homosexuals as a result of nurture, that is their
homosexuality is a learnt preference? Grenz (1990:199±203) has argued
that the essentialist position is generally based on biological arguments
whereas the constructionalist position is based on psychological
arguments. The latter would argue that the sexual identity confusion
we experience today is a result of the loss of stable family life and moral
moorings or stability in modern society.
The essentialist or genetic (homosexual by nature) argument features the
following proposals: genetic make-up, abnormal pre-natal or post-natal
hormonal levels, and distortions of the normal, unified development of
various tissues related to sexuality and sexual behaviour (Grenz
1990:201±202).
The debate on genetic origins is complex and heated. Even though a vast
amount of research has been done, the evidence is conflicting with some
concluding that there is a partial or full genetic base for homosexuality
and others disputing this conclusion. It is interesting that as late as 1996,
in concluding his discussion on genetic causality for homosexuality, J
Muir (1996:321) concludes: ``There is currently no valid case for the pre-
natal hormone theory of human sexual orientation.''
Even among psychologists who recognise that homosexual orientation
may be an inborn inclination existing from birth, there are those who
argue that this does not mean that homosexuals ought to be free to give
full rein to their homosexual orientation. The hereditary argument alone
does not necessitate an acceptance of homosexual activity from an
ethical perspective, because natural desires and inclinations are not
necessarily ethical. As Mary-Jean Silk (1996:176±177) has argued, other
genetically based conditions such as being born with a cleft palate would
not mean that this condition should be regarded as natural. However,
many would argue that homosexuality is not something that is wrong or
needs to be corrected. It cannot be considered in the same light as a cleft
palate, a club foot or as deafness. The question remains: Is
homosexuality the product of a conscious choice or is it a given that
one is born with this orientation and cannot change it?
Some would say that even if a person's homosexual orientation is a
given that they did not choose, they still have a choice whether to
perform homosexual acts or not. Persons who as a result of homosexual
inclination perform homosexual acts cannot argue that they have no
choice whether to act on their inclination or not. According to Oswalt:
While we are not responsible for our predilections, we are
responsible for what we do with these predilections, for our
behaviour can transcend our feelings. This point of view is in strong
opposition to prevailing behavioural theory today, a theory that
 115 CGM302-T/1

argues that we have no real control over our behaviour. We are

programmed by our heredity and environment to behave in certain
ways, and we will behave in those ways, like it or not (Keysor
1979:52).

11.3.3 The essentialist position

The essentialist position sees homosexuality as having a biological
foundation. One is born with a homosexual orientation. It is not
something one adopts because of poor parenting or unresolved
attachments.
It is clear that there is no conclusive evidence and knowledge about
homosexuality. This lack of knowledge and ignorance about something
may cause prejudice. Thatcher states that ``no assumptions about
homosexuals being sick, defective or disordered in advance of evidence
should be allowed to find shelter in apparently dispassionate aetiological
discussion''. [Note: aetiology is the study of causation; in this case, what
causes homosexuality?] He then looks at this in the light of the ninth of
the ten commandments Ð Do not give false evidence. ``Many
assumptions are made about homosexuals which are false and which
under the rubric of this commandment Christians are simply forbidden to
make'' (Thatcher 1993:132).
The world is predominantly heterosexual and thus there is a tendency to
view homosexuality with suspicion. Homosexual people tend to be
treated as objects to be studied because they are deviant rather than as
subjects who are our neighbours and whom we are commanded to love
as we love ourselves:
Homosexual, bisexual and heterosexual people are all our
neighbours, and homophobic attitudes towards our neighbours are
simply incompatible with the love which Christians will want to
extend. Loving our neighbour means putting ourselves in their
place. It includes being grateful to God for their sheer diversity,
whether of race, colour, interests, ages, customs, religious faiths and
of course sexual orientation (Thatcher 1993:132).

The homosexual's attraction to the same gender is not unnatural,

retarded, sinful or harmful. It is rather like being left-handed in a right-
handed community. There is nothing wrong with being left-handed Ð as
there is nothing wrong with being lesbian or gay.
Views such as these are often reflected in the media, for example in
films, television, magazines and newspapers. Thus, the essentialist
position has many advocates, also in the church.

11.3.4 The constructionalist position

personal and The constructionalist (or nurture) view stresses the effects of
family factors relationships between peers, relationships between parents and
 116

children, and also early sexual experiences. Certain psychologists assert

that immature sexuality or the lack of proper parental nurturing may lead
a young person to feel sexually inclined to members of the same sex.
However, these persons may later on develop a heterosexual sexual
orientation. Some of the personal and family reasons posited for
homosexuality include: ``same-sex parent difficulties, childhood gender
nonconformity, and early intense sexual experience'' (Whitehead
1996:334). Researchers who have argued that homosexuality
constitutes an immature, or less developed, sexuality stemming from
social, family and personal development problems include Elizabeth
Moberly and Ruth Tiffany Barnhouse. According to Barnhouse:
Adolescence is a period which requires the utmost of young people
in working their way through the enormously difficult transition
from childhood to adulthood ... the anxiety surrounding the
psychosexual maturation process [is] severe and the temptation to
opt for less than one is capable of is very great ... there are a great
many youngsters whose childhoods have been sufficiently
problematic so that homosexuality presented to them as an
acceptable alternative would be convincingly attractive (quoted in
Grenz 1990:209).

Elizabeth Moberly stresses the need to address the parental relationship

of a young person struggling with whether they are homosexual or not.
Her view is that homosexuality arises from a deficiency in the same-sex
relationships. Consequently, ``she allocates loving, non-sexual, same-sex
relations as crucial for the process of changing a homosexual
orientation'' (Grenz 1990:210).
Many of the arguments in defence of a family or social origin for
homosexuality have been drawn from the research of Elizabeth Moberly
who argues that:
... one constant underlying principle suggests itself from amidst a
welter of details: that the homosexual Ð whether the man or
woman Ð has suffered from some deficit in the relationship with
the parent of the same-sex; and that there is a corresponding drive to
make good this deficit Ð through the medium of same-sex or
``homosexual'' relationships (Whitehead 1996:349).

According to Moberly the ambivalence between the need for love of the
homosexual person and their continuing identification with the same-sex
parent, combined with the aversion and hostility that homosexuals often
feel for their same-sex parent, create ongoing unresolved difficulties in
the personality of homosexuals.
lesbianism Briar Whitehead (1996:348) has written an article entitled ``Lesbianism:
causality and compassion'' in which he argues that lesbian relationships
have been called ``emotional rather than erotic''. By this he means that
lesbian relationships are commonly characterised by an intense form of
emotional closeness and intimacy. This intimacy has been described by
 117 CGM302-T/1

psychiatrists as fusion or attachment. Concerning studies done of the

childhood and adolescence of lesbians, Whitehead (1996:350) argues
that:
They tend to show breakdown in attachment, identification, and
role-modelling, first with the same-sex parent, and then with other
girls. Experiences with males tend to be negative. By late teenage
these girls are strongly emotionally and sometimes erotically
attracted to certain kinds of women.

Concerning childhood gender nonconformity, it has been argued that

effeminism in young males and a tendency towards ``tom-boyism'' in
females is a strong predictor of later homosexuality (Whitehead
1996:351).
One further social reason for homosexuality, it has been argued, is that of
dysfunctional male relationships and sexual abuse:
Fathers who were emotionally absent, unaffirming, passive, weak
or indifferent can leave lesbians with a view that men can be
ignored or treated with contempt. Males who have been indifferent
or abusive appear to be a strongly reinforcing factor in lesbianism;
they do not make the prospect of heterosexual intimacy attractive
(Whitehead 1996:353).

This does not mean that negative parental relationships are sufficient to
contribute to lesbianism. But, combined with the dysfunctional relation-
ship between a young girl and her mother, in addition to negative male
experiences, negative family experiences could influence young girls
towards lesbian orientation. Similarly, negative or dysfunctional
relationships between boys or young men and both their mothers and
fathers, could influence them to develop homosexual orientations.
Concerning a path analysis for lesbianism, Bell et al have argued the
following concerning causal pathways:
All routed through negative same-sex parental relationship,
childhood gender nonconformity, and adolescent homosexual
involvement. The strongest path ran: unpleasant mother, hostile
rejecting mother, negative identification with mother, childhood
gender nonconformity, adolescent homosexual involvement and
adult homosexuality (quoted by Whitehead 1996:353).

In reviewing the evidence gathered in psychological studies on the

family and social reasons for homosexuality, Grenz (1990:202) states:
Foundational for this view has been the work of Irwin Bieber, who
suggested that disturbances in child development, especially in the
area of parent/child relationships are responsible. Such disturbances
result in confusion concerning the child's sexual identity. Possible
situations that could lead to a same-sex preference in males include
a possessive mother, a remote and unresponsive father, an early
 118

indoctrination with excessively negative ideas about sex, or

enforced isolation from women. In addition to disturbed family
relationships, some theorists point to other factors. They cite
difficulties in establishing Ð or inability to establish Ð successful
heterosexual relationships in adolescence as triggering a movement
towards homosexuality. This sexual orientation frees the person
from the perceived awesome responsibilities of heterosexuality.

In conclusion, Grenz quotes other research to make the point that even
though certain inherited genetic characteristics may render a man or a
woman susceptible to homosexual orientation, without the additional
influence of distorted family relationships, peer pressure or alternative
sexual experiences, any possible genetic potentialities are not decisive.
In summarising this discussion of the causes of homosexuality, then, it
needs to be noted that some persons regard homosexuality as a form of
sexual and emotional immaturity or perversion (the constructionalist
position), whereas other persons regard homosexuality as an inborn,
permanent sexual orientation or preference towards members of the same
sex (the essentialist position).

11.4 CHRISTIAN RESPONSES TO HOMOSEXUALITY

The response of the churches to homosexuality has undergone a change
in recent years:
Until the post-war period in the history of the church there were
few, if any, dissenting voices to the view that scripture and nature
teach us that homosexual behaviour is, without exception, immoral.
The last few decades have seen a reappraisal by academic
theologians, heated discussion in denominational bodies, and the
emergence of organizations such as the Lesbian and Gay Christian
Movement promoting an active homosexual lifestyle as consistent
with Christian teaching (Townsend 1994:1).

four views Contemporary Christian churches have adopted a variety of approaches

to the homosexual debate. At least four approaches can be identified in
this regard: ``rejecting-punitive, rejecting-compassionate; qualified
acceptance; and full acceptance'' (Townsend 1994:1).

11.4.1 The rejecting-punitive view

A rejecting-punitive stance rejects homosexual behaviour and orientation
as incompatible with Christianity and, often buttressed by cultural
stereotypes, is hostile towards people who are homosexual. Many in this
group could be called homophobics, that is those who fear homo-
sexuality and homosexuals. Not only is homosexuality rejected, but
homosexual persons are despised and rejected. This approach has led to
homosexuals being verbally and physically assaulted.
 119 CGM302-T/1

In an attempt to criticise and discourage homophobia, the Church of the

Province of South Africa emphasises that:
Good theology begins with real people in relationship with God, so
that the church needs to listen to the experiences of homosexuals. In
a heterosexual society their experience is one of almost overwhel-
ming prejudice and hostility. Often the church has been in the
vanguard of moral condemnation, so that many homosexual
Christians have been forced either to hide their orientation or to
leave the church. It must be stressed that the Church makes a
distinction between homosexual orientation and homosexual
practices (The church and human sexuality 1995:22).

A clear example of the rejecting-punitive view is the attitude, speeches

and actions of President Mugabe of Zimbabwe. His complete rejection of
homosexuals and homosexuality has been widely reported.
Suggit (1996:239) points out that:
Much harm is inflicted when society rejects gay persons and
(especially if they are Christians) when the church rejects them as
though they are worse sinners than anybody else.

11.4.2 The rejecting-compassionate view

A rejecting-compassionate approach regards homosexual behaviour as
contrary to God's creative intent and never permissible for Christians.
However, actions and orientation are distinguished and it is argued that
the church should welcome into the community of forgiven sinners all
who will follow Christ Ð irrespective of sexual orientation. Such
persons are not free, however, to practise homosexual desires or
inclinations. Thus homosexuality as a lifestyle is rejected, but
homosexuals who refuse to engage in homosexual behaviour are
accepted.
According to Mary-Jean Silk, homosexual genital acts between members
of the same sex are not in accord with intentions of God in producing
men and women. God made them physiologically for each other. Male
and female sexual organs are designed for each other. Therefore, to
engage in genital sex between members of the same sex is contrary to the
intention of God and thus to the will of God (Silk 1996:184). Therefore,
Silk argues homosexuals have no choice other than to be celibate or to
sin in the eyes of God (Silk 1996:184).
In an article entitled ``Homosexuality: theological and pastoral
considerations'' Ray Anderson (1996:310) says:
Richard Hays, writing on behalf of his friend, Gary, a Christian
homosexual who chose abstinence out of obedience to Scripture
prior to his death in 1990, quoted from Gary's final letter to him:
``Are homosexuals to be excluded from the community of faith?
Certainly not. But anyone who joins such a community should
 120

know that it is a place of transformation, of discipline, of learning

and not merely a place to be comforted or indulged.''

According to Soards (1989:73±74),

Christians who affirm biblical authority are called to a combination
of candour and compassion concerning the issue of homosexuali-
ty Ð a blend of ingredients that should, indeed, characterise
Christian thought and life at every level ... We can say that we
cannot and do not condone homosexual activity as sexual practice
in accordance with the intention of God for humanity ... We should
realise that the love of God for all sinful humanity requires us to be
concerned for the very persons whose sexual behavior we reject ...
But gay bashing and the efforts to deny basic civil rights to
homosexuals are activities contrary to the kind of compassion,
concern, and love revealed by God in Jesus Christ ... No action or
reaction can be properly called Christian that is not characterised by
the kind of love God manifests in Christ.

The United Presbyterian Church of the USA said this concerning church
membership and homosexuality:
As persons repent and believe, they become members of Christ's
body. The church is not a citadel of the morally perfect; it is a
hospital for sinners. It is the fellowship where contrite, needy
people rest their hope for salvation on Christ and his righteousness.
Here in community they seek and receive forgiveness and new life.
The church must become the nurturing community so that all whose
lives come short of the glory of God are converted, re-orientated,
and built up into Christian community. It may only be in the context
of a loving community, appreciation, pastoral care, forgiveness, and
nurture that homosexual persons can come to a clear understanding
of God's pattern for their sexual expression.
There is room in the church for all who give honest affirmation to
the vows required for membership in the church. Homosexual
persons who sincerely affirm ``Jesus Christ is my Lord and
Saviour'' and ``I intend to be his disciple, obey his word, and show
his love'' should not be excluded from membership (``The church
and homosexuality'', The United Presbyterian Church in the United
States of America [New York: Office of the General Assembly
1978] p 59, quoted in Soards 1989:77).

11.4.3 The qualified acceptance view

The third position of qualified acceptance amounts to saying:
The homosexual person is rarely, if ever, responsible for his sexual
orientation; the prospects of developing a heterosexual orientation
are minimal; celibacy is not always possible; stable homosexual
unions may offer the prospect of human fulfilment and are
 121 CGM302-T/1

obviously better than homosexual promiscuity. Homosexuality is

never ideal because God's intention in creation is heterosexuality,
attempts to develop heterosexual desires must be made, but
occasionally and reluctantly, one may accept a homosexual
partnership as the only way for some people to achieve a measure
of humanity in their lives (Townsend 1994:1).

This position, while more loving and compassionate, is also to a certain

extent self-contradictory in that the homosexual person is not fully
accepted. They are told that their sexual orientation is not ideal and
contrary to God's intention even if they are allowed to give genital
expression to their orientation in a morally responsible way. If sexual
orientation is as much a part of a person as is the colour of their skin, it is
very difficult to separate sexual orientation from the person. This
approach is actually very tentative in its acceptance of homosexuality Ð
hence the name ``qualified acceptance''.

11.4.4 The full acceptance view

A fourth possible approach to homosexuality is that of full acceptance.
Those who follow this position most often make the assumption that
sexual orientation is a given that one is born with rather than a choice
due to upbringing. This position affirms that same-sex relationships are
fully human and can be blessed by God and are part of God's
humanising intentions:
Full acceptance stresses the ``unitive purpose'' of sexuality as
central in God's sight and regards the ``procreative purpose'' as, by
comparison, incidental. Same-sex relationships can fully express
the central purpose for sexuality so homophile attraction may be
affirmed. All sexual acts should be evaluated by their relational
qualities; what matters is whether or not a particular relationship or
action will enhance human fulfilment, faithfulness between persons,
genuine intimacy and mutuality. The gender of the persons
concerned is immaterial (Townsend 1994:1).

Thus, in defence of long-term homosexual relationships, Elizabeth Stuart

(1995:36) argues as follows:
Few Christians who take the trouble to know lesbian and gay
people could deny that they are capable of forming relationships
which put many marriages to shame, relationships that are
obviously good for those involved and those around them,
relationships based upon mutuality and reciprocity in which God
is very obviously present. These are not marriages but they display
the characteristics of good marriages.

Concerning homophiles, Suggit (1996:237) says that their desire to

express their sexuality in homosexual relationships,
 122

... may be due either to genetic factors or to the environment of

their developing years. In either case there is nothing ``unnatural''
in their behaviour. They are responding to their natural affections
implanted in them by God, or to circumstances over which they
have no control. Their sexual orientation is not due to an intentional
act of will. No blame can be attached to them for being what they
are, and as a minority group they are to be accepted and welcomed
as members of the church, the body of Christ, and encouraged to
take a full part in its life and witness.

(Note: a homophile is a person who loves or accepts homosexuality.

Homophobia means a fear or rejection of homosexuality.)
Suggit's argument for full acceptance of homosexual orientation and
behaviour does not mean that he accepts promiscuous homosexual
behaviour:
This does not give gays, or anyone else, the right to do just what
they like with impunity. There must be guidelines for sexual
behaviour applicable to all who belong to Christ ... Sexual
behaviour [whether heterosexual or homosexual], as a way to
satisfy one's passions and lust, is not only foreign to the Gospel
(Mat 5:27±28), but devalues the sexual instinct, usually at the
expense of the other partner. The principle that a human being
should never be treated merely as a means to an end needs to be
respected especially in sexual relationships (Suggit 1996:238).

11.4.5 Some concluding comments on these four views

These various approaches to homosexual orientation and practice are
important because, depending on which approach one adopts, certain
pastoral and ethical consequences follow:
. The ``rejecting-punitive'' approach means that Christians will be
generally hostile towards homosexuals and will thus not be in a
position to minister to people who are homosexuals.
. The ``rejecting-compassionate'' approach will mean that Christians
will reject homosexual activity, offer full acceptance to homosexuals
who are willing to seek to follow Christ in much the same way as any
other person is called upon to part from sinful practices, and seek to
follow Christ. These Christians will welcome persons into the church
who have a homosexual inclination, but who are determined to seek to
live a heterosexual or a celibate sexual lifestyle.
. The third approach outlined above, namely ``qualified acceptance'',
will mean that those homosexuals who are prepared to live in stable
homosexual relationships where fidelity is practised will be regarded
as acceptable within the church. Though homosexuality will not be
regarded as the ideal, exceptions will be made in terms of stable
homosexual relationships.
. The last approach, namely ``full acceptance'', will mean that not only
are homosexuals to be fully accepted within the church but also that a
 123 CGM302-T/1

homosexual lifestyle will be regarded as fully compatible with

Christian faith and practice Ð as long as it is a faithful relationship.
This fourth approach also means that practising homosexuals could be
ordained to the Christian ministry and act as ministers of churches,
youth pastors, Sunday school teachers, pastoral counsellors, and the
like. This approach could also mean that Christians ought to support
the adoption of children by a homosexual couple and be prepared to
marry a homosexual couple. A possible further implication of this
approach is that a lesbian couple could apply for one or both of the
female partners to apply for artificial insemination so that they could
have a child or children of their own.
_________________________________________

Activity 11.3

(1) Using a few sentences for each, summarise the basics of each of the
four views outlined above.

(2) With which of these four do you agree, and why?

(3) Outline the pastoral and ethical implications of each of these views.
_________________________________________

The reasons for agreeing with one or other of these positions need to be
carefully thought through. You may be following a normative approach
that sees something as inherently wrong, or contrary to the Bible. On the
other hand, you may follow a more teleological approach that considers
the consequences for the relevant individuals, families and also for
society as a whole. Try to talk to leaders in your church and to those who
minister to homosexuals so that the practical implications of homo-
sexuality become more real to you.
Make sure that the pastoral and ethical implications you outline are
consistent. For example, the ``rejecting-compassionate'' approach places
certain conditions on homosexuals before they are fully welcomed.
Many of the pastoral implications of the ``full acceptance'' approach are
outlined above. If one does agree with the ``full acceptance'' approach
one has to be prepared for all the implications.
Now that the basic issues have been outlined, let us consider this matter
further in the next study unit, which concentrates of the biblical texts
and, again, looks at ethical and pastoral considerations.
 124

STUDY UNIT 12

Homosexuality, the Bible and

ethical implications
OUTCOMES
After working through this study unit, you should be able to:
. provide the key Old Testament and New Testament texts relevant
to the debate on homosexuality
. outline and evaluate the various views
. state and defend your own view concerning homosexuality

A number of texts in both the Old and New Testament raise the issue of
homosexuality Ð either directly or indirectly. The problem is, however,
that the interpretations of these texts vary significantly. Thus, a
considerable amount of debate on homosexuality and the Bible was
sparked off by the publication of John Boswell's (1980) book entitled
Christianity, social tolerance and homosexuality. This was because
Boswell argued that traditional interpretations of the relevant texts were
faulty and that biblical evidence could not be cited to oppose
homosexual orientation. Some of the central arguments on several of
the key texts are provided below. This discussion will reveal two basic
approaches to homosexuality (which represent a simplification of the
four views elucidated above). Supporters of these two approaches
include:
. those who interpret the Bible to mean that a homosexual lifestyle is
not acceptable from a Christian perspective (which includes both the
rejecting-punitive and rejecting-compassionate approaches)
. those who argue that a homosexual lifestyle is acceptable from a
Christian perspective (which includes both the qualified and full
acceptance approaches)
_________________________________________

Activity 12.1

(1) Write down any Old or New Testament references (texts) that relate
to the subject of homosexuality.
 125 CGM302-T/1

(2) If you can supply these references, why do you think this is so? If you
can't, why do you think you do not know about such texts (or can't
remember them)?
_________________________________________

interpretative Before entering into a more detailed discussion of the relevant texts, it is
approaches necessary to note different approaches to the Bible itself. One, more
liberal, approach is exemplified by Robin Scroggs (1983:127) who says:
``Biblical judgements against homosexuality are not relevant to today's
debate.'' In other words, the Bible is not authoritative in the ethical
debate on homosexuality. Liberal approaches to the Bible hold that it was
written by people who were not always inspired by God and whose
historical views and prejudices are reflected in the text. Hence the entire
Bible is not authoritative for our faith or actions. Concerning the Bible,
Suggit (1996:234) says:
In spite of its importance, the evidence of scripture is only one of
the factors involved in determining the Christian attitude to this and
other ethical issues. The wide divergency of methods of interpreting
scripture today should remind us that the Bible was never meant to
be a legal code for Christians as the Koran is for Moslems.

The opposite approach is that of fundamentalism or literalism.

Fundamentalists stress the importance of inerrancy (the Bible cannot
be wrong) and the literal interpretation of the Bible. Each word, in the
original texts, was inspired.
Evangelists place themselves in-between the liberal and fundamentalist
approaches. They recognise the importance of literacy and historical
analyses of the text, but they still hold to the view that the Bible, though
actually written by people, was inspired by God. Hence, they tend to
seek to re-interpret rather than reject controversial texts and regard the
Bible as authoritative for faith and practice.
While it is true that the ethical judgements they make, based on their
biblical interpretations of issues such as homosexuality, abortion and
euthanasia, might not be the same, they draw on the biblical text as a
source of authority. With these preliminary comments in mind, we can
now look at some specific texts.
_________________________________________

Activity 12.2

(1) Read the following texts:

Genesis 19:129
Leviticus 18:22 and 20:13
Romans 1:18±32
1 Corinthians 6:9±11
 126

2 Peter 2:4±10
Jude 1:6±7

(2) What do you think these texts are saying, or not saying, about
homosexuality?

(3) Bearing in mind the contexts of these texts, what is the main message
in each of them?
_________________________________________

12.1 SOME OLD TESTAMENT TEXTS

Genesis 19 Relevant Old Testament passages include Genesis 19:1-29, which relates
the story of the experience of the angels sent to rescue Lot from the cities
of Sodom and Gomorrah. This passage has traditionally been understood
as a rejection of homosexuality, as we are told that the men of the city
gathered at Lot's door and demanded to have sexual relationships with
his guests: ``Where are the men who came to you tonight? Bring them
out to us, that we may know them'' (Gen 19:5). This account in Genesis
19:1-29 has given rise to the English word ``sodomy'' which means
sexual relations between two men and is derived from the name of the
city of Sodom. This is because in verse 5 of this passage, we are told that
the men of Sodom wanted to ``know'' the two guests of Lot. There has
been considerable debate about the meaning of the word ``know'' in this
context. In other biblical passages, it is sometimes used in both a sexual
and a nonsexual sense. From the context of the passage, however, it is
clear that Lot interpreted it in a sexual sense. Nevertheless, while this
passage does indicate disapproval of homosexual acts, it could equally
mean disapproval of homosexual rape, which is clearly what the men of
Sodom intended.
In more recent years the direct sexual meaning of this passage has been
somewhat down-played and the emphasis placed on the fact that the men
of the city were seeking to break the laws of hospitality. According to
John Suggit (1996:231):
The two passages most frequently quoted regarding homosexuality
(Genesis 19:1-14 and Judges 19:16-30) are concerned not with
homosexual intercourse by consent, but with homosexual rape.
What is condemned is the abominable treatment of guests who
would have expected to receive the hospitality customarily offered
in early Semitic societies. The accounts have nothing to say about
the legitimacy of homosexual intercourse by consent, and indeed
suggest that this was unusual. They rather describe the attempts of
rapists to use force against visitors to satisfy their sexual urge. It is
unfortunately misleading that sodomy gets its name from the
Genesis story, which for many centuries was not connected
specifically with homosexual behaviour.

Against those commentators who argue against the passage in Genesis

 127 CGM302-T/1

19 being given a homosexual interpretation, Oswalt argues that the term

``to know'' has a sexual meaning here as it does in Genesis 1:4. Even
though the term ``to know'' is used with other meanings in other places
in the Old Testament, the context of this passage makes it clear that the
sexual connotation is primary (see Gen 19:8 and Judges 19:25). This is
also true of the passage in 2 Peter and Jude 1:6, where the New
Testament writers interpret the Sodom and Gomorrah passage as
``unnatural lust'' thus confirming the interpretation of this passage as
having to do primarily, if not solely, with homosexual behaviour (Keysor
1979:73±75).
the holiness code What about passages in the so-called ``Holiness Code'' such as Leviticus
18:22 and 20:13? The passages read as follows:
You shall not lie with a male as with a woman; it is an abomination [and]
If a man lies with a male as with a woman, both of them have committed
an abomination; they shall be put to death, their blood is on them.

Some commentators have argued that the words ``an abomination'' or

``detestable'' have cultic meanings, in other words what is regarded as
detestable is the practice of homosexual acts in the setting of idolatrous
worship. The practice of both heterosexual and homosexual activity was
closely linked to pagan cultic worship in various temples.
Other commentators hold that these verses prohibit sexual intercourse
between men and describe such behaviour as detestable. On the basis of
these verses, then, it is argued that homosexual acts are immoral. Why is
this so?
With reference to the two texts, John Oswalt points out that the context
of these passages is very significant. Both of them deal with the sexual
practices of the nations surrounding Israel. According to Oswalt:
Homosexuality is not singled out. It is but one part of a whole
package. The prohibition of homosexual behaviour is not simply an
isolated result of what is presently called ``homophobia'', that is, an
irrational fear of a practice we do not understand. Rather, it is seen
as one more manifestation of a total approach to sexuality, an
approach that denies any boundaries in creation and uses sex as a
vehicle to make that statement. Homosexuals are not being singled
out as an oppressed minority (Keysor 1979:52).

In other words, the context of the passage, which deals with sexual
taboos, indicates that it is homosexuality itself that is being condemned.
Further, the word ``detestable'' is not used elsewhere in Leviticus with
cultic overtones.
In Israelite culture the employment of male and female cult prostitutes
was forbidden (Deut 23:17). The technical term for these prostitutes was
the ``dedicated ones'' because their lives were dedicated to the gods and
goddesses of Canaanite and other cultures. This phrase ``dedicated ones''
is translated as sodomite in the authorised version in 1 Kings 14:24,
 128

15:12, 22:46 and 2 Kings 23:7. Commenting on Deuteronomy 23:18±19,

Suggit (1996:231) states:
Sacral prostitution, both male and female, was a regular practice in
the whole of the ancient East. It was this that was regularly
condemned, rather than simple homosexual intercourse, as is shown
by the references in 1 Kings 14:24 and 2 Kings 23:7.

What is the meaning of the word translated ``abomination'' in Leviticus

18 and 20:13? Two Hebrew words translated as ``abomination'' are
shiqquts and to'evah. These words are used regularly in the Old
Testament to refer to idols and unclean food. Shiqquts refers to the eating
of reptiles, birds of prey and other animals regarded as unclean by the
Jews and it is used as a synonym for idols and idol worship. To'evah
occurs more frequently and has a range of meanings. One of these
meanings is homosexual behaviour but it also includes reference to
several other forms of pagan sexual behaviour, which were regarded as
repugnant to the true nature of a person or a thing in Judaism (Keysor
1979:6667). With reference to Leviticus 20:13, it is said that the rejection
of homosexual acts is based on an understanding that these acts would
violate the creation order of male and female; thus they are ``an
idolatrous affront to the integrity of the deity'' (Grenz 1990:209).

12.2 SOME NEW TESTAMENT TEXTS

With regard to the New Testament texts, one of the issues in the debate is
whether the Greek, Roman and Hebrew civilisations knew of
homosexuality as a lifelong sexual orientation. Thus certain commenta-
tors have argued that the biblical texts are not condemning homosexu-
ality in this form but rather they are condemning attempted rape, lack of
hospitality, adultery, pederasty and homosexual prostitution.
Romans 1 In his discussion of the New Testament passages that have been
traditionally used to argue against homosexuality, Suggit (1996:233)
argues that in Romans 1 Paul is referring not to homosexual persons, but
to the homosexual behaviour of people who were naturally heterosexual.
In this he is drawing on the arguments put forward by J Boswell in his
book Christianity, social tolerance and homosexuality.

Commentators who are opposed to the perception of homosexuality as a

normal sexual orientation argue that homosexuality, in the sense of a
lifelong association, was well known, particularly in the Greek culture.
Thus, they argue, Paul's condemnation of homosexuality in the New
Testament is a condemnation of homosexuality as a sexual orientation as
well as homosexuality in the sense of homosexual temple prostitution
and pederasty.
Thus, Oswalt argues that there is no reason to suppose that the biblical
writers were unaware of homosexuality as a condition (Keysor 1979:54).
Not only did people of the Old Testament live at the crossroads of the
 129 CGM302-T/1

ancient world between Assyria and, later, Babylon on the one hand, and
Egypt on the other hand, but homosexuality was well known among the
peoples of Greece and Ionia. Also, in response to the arguments of John
Boswell, Robin Scroggs and others that the New Testament is
responding to the model of pederasty as the only model of homosexual
activity available in the culture in which the early church existed, Marion
Soards (1989:48) refers to research on Greek and Roman attitudes to
homosexuality and quotes:
Homosexuality among the Greeks is well attested by the 5th century
philosophers as a normal and valuable relationship, chiefly
associated with private tuition, and the concepts of friendship.
Commercial exploitation and pederasty especially among older men
and immature boys was disap-proved.

In other words, long before the period of the New Testament, the Greeks
clearly distinguished between pederasty (usually enforced sex between
older men and young boys) and homosexual relationships between
``consenting adults''. Soards (1989:50) also quotes the alleged intimacy
between Julius Caesar and king Nicodemes and concludes his discussion
of homosexuality in the Roman period by saying:
I have quoted these reports at length to show that Romans knew and
had clear disdain for forms of homosexuality other than pederasty.
Julius Caesar and king Nicodemes were, in modern parlance, two
consenting adults, and their behaviour was scandalous and roundly
ridiculed.

Those who have argued that Paul was not referring to homosexual
orientation in Romans 1 but to pederasty fail, says Grenz (1990:205), to
understand the development of Paul's indictment of the pagan world in
this passage:
It is highly improbable that the apostle had in mind the life history
of a certain group of his contemporaries who had moved from
heterosexuality to homosexuality. Rather, its purpose was to offer a
corporate indictment of pagan society. The story he narrated was
that of humankind; he offered a general sweep of the corporate
downward spiral into an ever deeper pit of sin. Humankind had
distorted even the basic sexual identity which had been given in
God's created order as indicated in the Genesis story.

Grenz (1990:206) concludes:

For Paul, then, the only proper model of sexual relations is that
patterned after the creation story in Genesis 1-2. In keeping with the
injunctions of the Holiness Code, Paul concludes that this model is
natural, for it alone was instituted by the Creator. Homosexual
relations, whether between men or women, are against nature,
because they are contrary to the pattern placed within creation itself.
 130

However, others would argue that Paul saw homosexual acts as one of
the many indications of the alienated condition of non-Jews, who,
according to Paul, have consciously rejected the truth of God. Thatcher
(1993:19) says:
Paul's condemnation of male homosexual acts in Romans belongs
to a wider judgment about Gentile culture with its surprising
conclusion that no one can condemn anyone for anything, since all
are equally guilty, and in Christ all are equally saved.

1 Corinthians 6 What, then, about the important text in 1 Corinthians 6:9±11? The text
reads as follows:
Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of
God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral [pornoi]
nor idolaters nor adulterers [moichoi] nor male prostitutes
[malakoi] nor homosexual offenders [arsenokoitai] nor thieves
nor the greedy ... will inherit the kingdom of God. And that is what
some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you
were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit
of our God.

With reference to this passage, Suggit argues that the words traditionally
translated to refer to homosexual behaviour, namely malakoi and
arsenokoitai refer quite possibly to masturbation and male prostitutes
and not to an inbuilt homosexual orientation.
Greenlee, however, argues that arsenokoitai refers to a man who goes to
bed with a male for sexual purposes (literally the word means a male-bed
person). The basic meaning of malakoi is ``soft''. It could also mean
effeminate or is sometimes translated catamite which refers to men or
boys who are misused sexually. These conflicting interpretations reveal
not only the technicalities of the debate, but the basic disagreement
between the two groups of commentators. Thomas Schmidt (1996:293)
has reached this conclusion:
Recent revisionist attempts to render the bible neutral or positive
towards homosexual practice fail to withstand close scrutiny. The
biblical basis for sexual morality is the affirmation of marital union
in Genesis, and it is for this reason that the New Testament links
same-sex relations to adultery.

church tradition In addition to the biblical evidence discussed above, the tradition of the
church over 20 centuries is also a point of debate. It is clear that the
overwhelming testimony of the church's tradition is opposed to the
practice of homosexual orientation. However, some commentators have
argued that the overwhelming weight of church tradition was also
previously opposed to the ordination of women but, in many churches,
this is no longer the case. This means that the weight of church tradition
cannot constitute an argument in itself. It is debatable, though, whether
this is a valid argument. This is because, in relation to the ordination of
 131 CGM302-T/1

women, an array of biblical evidence can be cited which indicates ways

in which God used women to directly affect the fate of Israel or to
engage in various ministries in the New Testament church, including that
of leadership. What has changed is the way in which these texts are
interpreted. Biblical texts that clearly support homo-sexuality, however,
are not to be found.
_________________________________________

Activity 12.3

In contrast to the traditional church position the South African Bill of

Rights states that:

No person may unfairly discriminate directly or indirectly against

anyone on the grounds of sexual orientation

Recently, a test case was reported in which a policewoman wanted to

register her lesbian partner of 11 years as a dependant on her medical aid
policy. The South African Police Service's medical aid scheme refused to
allow this as their scheme did not cover dependants if they were of the
same sex. When the Gay and Lesbian Coalition took this to court as a test
case they won! (Brimohanlall R et al 1999:102).

(1) Who do you think would win if a gay person was to take the church to
court because they felt the church discriminated against him or her?

(2) List the arguments that might be used.

(3) If the constitution condemns discrimination on sexual grounds does

the church have a right to go against the constitution?

(4) Does the church hold that homosexuals ought to be denied their civil
rights (such as a right to life, access to healthcare and the economy)
or does it reject their sexual lifestyle?
_________________________________________

12.3 SOME CONCLUDING ETHICAL COMMENTS

12.3.1 Identity, sexuality and creation
arguments for full If we accept the view that sexual orientation is not only inborn and
acceptance natural, but also God-created, there is no alternative but to affirm
homosexuality, whether of men or women, as fully acceptable from a
Christian perspective. This is a conclusion which many have reached.
``This is who I am'' homosexuals are saying, ``I cannot repress or deny
my gender identity or my sexuality.''
Homosexuals who have struggled with what they thought God and the
church required them to be, and were not able to live a heterosexual life,
have experienced a great deal of confusion, anguish and suffering. Some
 132

have experienced attempts on the part of other Christians to compel them

to become heterosexuals. In some cases, they have even been forced to
attend services of healing and exorcism in the hope that they would be
``cured'' of their homosexual condition.
Many male and female homosexuals fear exposure, let alone openly
``coming out of the closet'', that is publicly declaring their homosexu-
ality. They fear divorce, rejection by their children, the loss of their job,
exclusion from the Christian community and humiliation. For some,
suicide has seemed the only option. In response to homophobia, Clark
and Kerr (1996:366) quote Luke 11:46: ``Jesus replied, and you experts
in the law, woe to you, because you load people down with burdens they
can hardly carry, and you yourselves will not lift a finger to help them.''
For these reasons, there are several people today who argue that it is high
time that the church departed from its traditional views, and accepted the
validity of inborn, exclusive homosexual orientation. Further, because
for homosexuals no other form of sexual expression is possible, it is
argued that stable, faithful unions between gay men and lesbian women
ought to be not simply grudgingly accepted, but fully blessed by the
church. Some gays and lesbians, in frustration with those churches who
do not accept homosexuality as a valid orientation, have started their
own support groups or churches. Perhaps one of the most prominent gay
and lesbian churches is that of the Metropolitan Community Church of
which chapters or branches have been opened in several parts of the
world.
homosexual In contrast to the view outlined above, there are those who do not accept
practice as that a homosexual lifestyle is acceptable from a Christian point of view.
non-permissible This group bases its arguments on scripture (as already explained above)
and on the doctrine of creation. They point out that God created human
beings as ``male and female'' (Mk 10:6). In other words there are only
two sexes, not three or four:
Manhood and womanhood are mutually complementary ontological
realities. Gender difference is not an accidental acquired property
but something essential to our humanity. It belongs to the order of
being human itself. It is more than the psychological, biological or
cultural, as Anderson puts it, ``he'' and ``she'' belong to the same
theological dogma as Imago Dei. What we are dealing with in
human sexuality, the bi-polarity of man and woman, is not a mere
order of history but a valid order for all eternity (Yates 1995:85).

Yates (1995:87) concludes by saying:

The differentiation of humanity as male and female in an
ontologically complementary manner is the ground for the ``one
flesh'' union of Genesis 2:24. The union of persons which is the
goal of intercourse is therefore impossible in same-sex coupling.
Thus, homosexual practice is essentially disordered and de-
humanising (Yates 1995:87).
 133 CGM302-T/1

Furthermore, Greenlee (Keysor 1979:96) argues:

No form of permissible sexual union other than that of husband and
wife is ever presented ... that many or most of these passages
present the husband/wife relationship in a manner that implies
exclusiveness Ð that is, there is no alternate permissible form of
sexual union ... that if same-sex unions were considered permis-
sible, they certainly would have been mentioned favourably or
permissibly in at least a few of the passages that deal with marriage.

Jesus did not condemn homosexual practices, but equally he never said
anything in favour of homosexuality. In his comments about marriage
and sexuality, however, he refers only to male and female (Matt 19:4±6).
As indicated above, one of the ethical issues related to homosexuality is
that of whether there are boundaries to human sexual expression. Those
who argue that homosexual acts are wrong hold that genital sexual
activity ought only to occur within a monogamous heterosexual
marriage. It then follows that homosexual behaviour as well as
premarital, non-marital and extramarital sexual behaviour are all
ethically unacceptable. Commentators who argue thus also argue against
promiscuity: they argue that it cannot be denied that homosexual
behaviour is commonly casual and promiscuous and that only
infrequently does it consist of anything like a permanent relationship
(Keysor 1979:88).
While there are instances of stable homosexual relationships, particularly
with lesbian couples, male homosexual relationships tend to be
promiscuous:
The research of Bell and Weinberg (1978), for example, indicated
that only 17 percent of white homosexual males had had fewer than
50 partners, while 28 percent reported having had 1 000 or more
partners. A 1982 study indicated that the median number of life
time sexual partners for a group who had contracted AIDS was 110
with a few men reporting as many as 20 000 (Grenz 1990:213).

By way of contrast, practising homosexuals have more recently argued

that the threat of AIDS has caused homosexuals to move towards more
limited sexual engagements and even to stable relationships with one
partner. They also argue that heterosexuals cannot claim that only
homosexuals are promiscuous. Heterosexuals are also promiscuous, as is
indicated by the high divorce rate and extensive practice of adultery, not
to mention non-marital sexual encounters.

12.3.2 Pastoral considerations

In a review of the book, Stranger at the gate by Mel White, Clark and
Kerr (1996:364) have pointed out the value of this book for the Christian
counselling community. In this book Mel White tells a story of his early
upbringing in a Christian home, his later involvement in Christian
 134

ministry, his marriage, his divorce, and his open declaration of himself as
a homosexual. Mel White explains how he attempted to suppress his
sexuality in order to please God, family and church. His attempt to
conform to expectations led to an unsatisfying marriage, shallow
friendships, and an obsessive and unhappy spirituality. White tells how,
once he accepted his homosexual orientation, he was free from these
earlier struggles and is now involved as a Christian counsellor and leader
of a large gay church in Texas.
counselling homo- In a discussion of the varying approaches adopted by psychologists,
sexuals psychiatrists and counsellors, Joe Dallas has outlined two basic
approaches to the counselling of homosexuals. On the one hand, there
is the following view:
Homosexuality should be considered a normal variation of human
sexual expression with no taint of pathology or sin; homosexuality
is immutable, therefore attempts to change it are in vain; and
therapists who assist patients wishing to change from homosexual
to heterosexual expression are actually harming their patients
(Dallas 1996:369).

This approach involves a normalisation and acceptance of homosexuality

as a legitimate sexual orientation and expression. The other approach is
that of some Christian therapists who reject homosexual behaviour as
illegitimate from a biblical and theological perspective. These Christian
counsellors have been able to engage in the treatment of homosexuals
and have offered help to those wishing to change their sexual orientation.
Included in this group are W Masters and V Johnson who published a
report entitled ``Homosexuality in perspective'' in which they reveal
their successful treatment of homosexuals.
In essence, then, the debate comes down to this: Is homosexuality a
natural, God-given sexual orientation or is it an unnatural, emotionally
broken form of sexual behaviour? According to Whitehead (1996:356),
Homosexuality is more than just sexual activity. It also becomes
idolatrous, partly because of the extent of underlying emotional
deficit. Homosexuality is symptomatic of underlying pain that
needs the Healer's touch: unhappy in broken relationships with
God, with parents, with peers of the same sex; fear, anger, hostility,
rejection, confusion, loneliness, isolation, jealousy, envy, needs for
love and acceptance; and patterns of self-gratification that have
become habitual because of the emotional deficits underlying them.
Jesus did not come to condemn the sinner, but to find and restore
him or her. Homosexuality is a result of a breakdown in that
process: one of the many unhappy outcomes of broken relations-
hips.

But, according to others, homosexuals are responding to natural

affections implanted in them by God. They have no control over their
sexual orientation; it is an inborn sexual preference. To deny this is to
 135 CGM302-T/1

deny their very nature and identity. It is also to subject homosexuals to

the appalling pain that results from the rejection of their identity.
_________________________________________

Activity 12.4

You will have noted that a variety of views are presented in study units 11
and 12. It is necessary for you to be able to clearly and correctly state the
various views, as well as to be able to state and defend your own conclusions.

(1) Having read through the discussion in this study unit, write a few
paragraphs outlining which of the arguments about the Bible and
homosexuality you accept, and why.

(2) What, in your view, are the key ethical and pastoral issues facing the
church with respect to homosexuality?

(3) Imagine yourself as a parent or youth group leader and describe how
you would respond to a young girl or boy who comes to you and says ``I
think I am a homosexual, what must I do?''.
_________________________________________

In conclusion, I hope that study units 11 and 12 have revealed not only
the complexity of the debate on homosexuality, but also the ethical and
pastoral implications of homosexual orientation and behaviour. Like
other contemporary controversial ethical issues, it is likely to engage the
attention of the church more and more in the years that lie ahead.
 136

STUDY UNIT 13

Rape and battering

OUTCOMES
After working through this study unit, you should be able to:
. give a basic description and some facts about rape and battering
. identify some key ethical issues of relevance to the exposure,
criticism and removal of these evils from our churches and
communities
. interpret the Bible is such a way as to give insight into these issues
. recognise that rape and battering result from the abuse of power
and that this abuse is facilitated by patriarchy
. give some ethical and practical guidelines to help the church to
tackle the issues of battering and rape

13.1 EXAMPLES OF SEXUAL ABUSE AND VIOLENCE

The next two study units are concerned with three issues: rape (including
sexual harassment), battering (including femicide) and child abuse.
(Note: femicide means the murder of women.) All three are examples of
physical or sexual violence and constitute instances of the abuse of the
God-given gift of human sexuality. This study unit and the next one also
contain a theological-ethical discussion on sexual and other forms of
violence. It is probably a good idea to read study units 13 and 14 in an
integrated way, because the three issues (rape, battering and child abuse)
are closely related.
It is significant that in many of the standard works on sexual ethics little,
if any, emphasis is placed on subjects such as rape, battering and child
abuse. This is an extremely serious omission which I seek, in part, to
rectify in these study units. For many hundreds of years, both in the
public sphere and also to some extent in academic writings, these
subjects have been greatly neglected. This is extremely unfortunate since
large numbers of people in our world today are suffering as a result of
various forms of physical and sexual abuse. For too long the wider
society and the churches, in particular, have remained silent on this
subject. Thus, for example, during celebrations held on Mother's Day in
churches, these subjects are seldom, if ever, mentioned. And yet, the
truth is that there will be a significant number of women and children
 137 CGM302-T/1

seated in any particular congregation who have either been battered or

raped or have suffered as a result of child abuse.
The abuse of women (or anyone else) takes various forms, with rape
being a particular example of both sexual and physical abuse. In the vast
majority of cases it is women and girls who are victims of these crimes.
There are, however, instances when men and young boys are also
physically abused or sexually molested. It seems that in South Africa
today the incidence of rape, battering and child abuse is extremely high.
It also seems that the number of reported incidents is increasing. It has
been estimated that in the five-year period from 1988 to 1993 the figures
for reported rape rose by 40 percent. Officials from NICRO (National
Institute for Crime Prevention and Rehabilitation of Offenders) have
suggested that possibly only one in every 20 rapes is ever reported to the
police. If this is so, it means that vast numbers of women, men and
children are being raped each year. Rape, according to People Opposing
Women Abuse (POWA), is the most under-reported crime in the country.
Violence can take on physical, emotional and sexual forms. Victimisa-
tion could take place over a considerable period or could take place in
the form of a particular event such as an assault (committing grievous
bodily harm) or rape. Physical violence can take various forms such as
being physically beaten, slapped, choked, kicked, bitten or burnt. As a
result of attacks on them, victims experience a significant breaking down
of their self-esteem. Various examples of emotional abuse include being
constantly criticised, being rejected, being manipulated and intimidated.
Sexual abuse can be defined as a situation when a person is forced, either
as result of physical force or emotional intimidation, to perform sexual
acts against their will.
Sexual and physical violence are manifested in a variety of ways. These
include threats, shouting, the infliction of pain, insults, humiliation and
emotional abuse:
Rape, incest and wife battering are usually hidden acts of violence,
whose victims often connive in blanketing them with silence for a
number of reasons. Wives protect battering husbands for fear of
further retaliation and because of ingrained relationships of
dependency. Raped women remain silent because of feelings of
shame and societal prejudice. Children who are victims of incest are
too often subject to threats or simply not believed (Hulley &
Mofokeng 1996:146).
_________________________________________

Activity 13.1

(1) How would you define rape and battering?

(2) What would you guess the figures/statistics for rape and battering in
 138

South Africa are? If you have no idea of the figures, why do you think
this is the case?

(3) Have you personally, or has someone close to you, experienced these
forms of sexual and physical abuse? If so, how has this affected your
life?
_________________________________________

13.2 RAPE
what is rape? Rape can be defined as the forced penetration of the penis or any other
object into the vagina, mouth or anus against the will of the victim. Rape
is very clearly a sexual and physical act. But it is also an instance of
emotional abuse and has a lot to do with power. Months, even years after
recovering from the physical damage of penetration, rape victims suffer
from the emotional violation that has occurred. Rape occurs both within
families and in society generally. In most cases the rapists are husbands,
fathers, brothers, relatives and family friends. The ``closeness'' of the
perpetrators adds significantly to the emotional burden suffered by the
victims.

13.3 THE HIGH INCIDENCE OF RAPE

some horrifying In a series of articles in the New Nation magazine in 1991 it was
statistics estimated that in South Africa 1 000 women are raped every day. It was
also stated that 33 percent of married women are beaten by their
husbands, 10 percent of young girls are sexually harassed in their
families, and that only 1,3 percent of the men who rape women are ever
convicted or charged (New Nation 28 March Ð 4th April 1991:16).
According the Saturday Star only one in 35 rapes is reported and,
according to POWA, a woman is raped every 24 seconds in South
Africa. In 1996, 50 481, in 1997, 52 160 and in 1998 42 646 cases of
rape were reported (Saturday Star 23 November 1996:13).
The figures for rape in South Africa are very high and it is not surprising
that South Africa has been dubbed the ``rape capital'' of the world
(Human Rights Watch Report on Domestic Violence 1995). Estimates of
how many rapes are actually reported to the South African Police Service
(SAPS) range from one in 35 to one in 20, but sources are difficult to
trace. Recent studies suggest that more cases are being reported;
however the statistics for 1998 are down from the previous two years,
but much higher than those before 1994 (Buckenham 1999:24). These
statistics indicate that reported cases of rape make up only 2,8 percent of
all rapes, giving a total figure of almost 2 million women raped in 1996
and even more in 1997. It is estimated that a woman is raped every 23
seconds in South Africa, that between one in three women or girls will
be raped in their lifetime and that most will know their attackers
(Buckenham 1998). These figures remain estimates, but what is clear is
that rape is rampant and of crucial concern to women, to children, to
 139 CGM302-T/1

men, to the State, to the health sector and to the church (Ackermann
1996:149).
domestic In her article entitled `` `For such a thing is not done in Israel': violence
violence against women'', Denise Ackermann has argued that whereas domestic
affects all violence cuts across all racial, cultural, and social barriers,
... recorded victims of rape are concentrated among the poor and
disadvantaged women and the children of South Africa (HRW/A
1995:52). While acknowledging that all women are potential rape
victims, poor women in this country are more vulnerable to rape
than are those coming from the privileged classes. This is not
surprising, as poor women do not have private transportation, need
to walk long distances and live in areas plagued by crime,
gangsterism, overcrowding, poverty, and, in order to work, are often
required to leave and return home in the dark (Ackermann
1996:149).

13.4 WHY ARE RAPE CASES SO SELDOM REPORTED?

fear, humiliation From studies done in this area of human sexual abuse, it seems clear that
and evidence because so many of the women who experience rape are raped by
someone known to themselves and the family, laying a charge against
such a person at a police station becomes a very difficult act. A young
girl of 16 who is raped by an uncle, for example, is placed in an
impossible situation. False feelings of loyalty towards the family, the
conviction that she will not be believed, public embarrassment, and fear
of reprisals all constitute reasons why such cases are seldom reported.
In addition, the humiliation and violation experienced by the raped
women is so intense that the thought of publicly describing what has
happened convinces them that proceeding with legal charges will simply
cause the incident to be relived over and over again. All of this means
that women who suffer rape are victims both of the rape itself and of the
negative circumstances involved in charging a particular person with
rape. Furthermore, it is very difficult to prove a case of rape, since it is
alleged that the laws of evidence in the courts are biased towards the
perpetrators.
police and law Another reason why rape is seldom reported is the way in which this
courts crime is treated by the police and law courts. In recent years several
articles in local newspapers have drawn the attention of the public to the
fact that the police and the law courts are not properly equipped to deal
with cases of rape. In the Saturday Star (23 November 1996:13), the
following story is told:
A teenage girl stumbles into a police station charge office. She has
just been raped. With her clothes torn and scratches all over her
body, she managed to walk to the nearest police station for help.
But after waiting what seemed like ages to attract any attention, she
was forced to repeat her story in the middle of a charge office to at
least four amused and unsympathetic policemen. She wanted to run,
 140

to hide, to die. And she regretted going to the police. This story is
not untypical. While policemen are sometimes sensitive to women
victims of assault, there are too many incidents like this, or
variations of it, happening daily. Some women have had to wait up
to fourteen hours in a charge office before being able to see a
district surgeon.

Stories like these illustrate the extent of the problem. In response to this
situation, the Johannesburg police formed the Domestic Violence, Child
Protection and Sexual Offences Unit which is the first unit to deal solely
with rape and battery in a family context. However, in charge offices all
over the country, insufficient numbers of men and women in the police
have been trained to deal with rape cases. Even though an amount of
conscientisation is taking place as a result of public lobbying, and certain
task groups have been set up to train men and women in the police, in
most cases this training is still not available.
In addition to the fact that so few rapes are actually reported to the
police, possibly because women believe that rape and sexual violence
against women are not taken seriously by the police and criminal justice
system, there are other difficulties in finding persons guilty of rape.
Police often find that women who have been raped and have charged
their husbands (or another man) with the rape, later withdraw the
charges. This makes it extremely difficult for police to proceed with the
case.
sentences for rape In response to a recent case in which six young men gang-raped a five
months' pregnant woman and murdered her two-year-old son, a public
outcry erupted because the perpetrators were given sentences of only 10
years each for the rape to run concurrently with the other sentences. In
response to this incident and other instances of inconsistent judgments
with regard to rape, Justice Minister Dullah Omar said:
``In matters of violent crime, especially against women, the courts
must be giving sentences that will act as deterrents to other
offenders or potential offenders.'' Dullah Omar went on to say that
he is about to submit controversial legislation to the next
parliamentary session with regard to sexual offences. ``We must
ensure the courts act decisively and effectively against rape and
other violence against women'' he said (Saturday Star, 23
November 1996:1).

It would appear, then, that something is beginning to be done. But are

things moving quickly enough, especially when viewed from the
perspective of actual and potential victims?

13.5 REASONS FOR RAPE

In an article written by members of the trauma clinic at the Centre for the
Study of Violence and Reconciliation, a number of reasons were given
 141 CGM302-T/1

for the high incidence of rape. The reasons identified included the
following (Saturday Star, 25 January 1997:13):
(1) power relations and the emasculation of men who ``as a means of
compensating for the lack of power, engage in violent acts''
(2) the culture of violence and lawlessness which is part of South
African society
(3) the failure of the criminal justice system to deal effectively with
sexual crimes
(4) poor socio-economic conditions
(5) difficulties related to a society in the state of transition
(6) sexist values

low self-esteem It has also been found by researchers that rapists were often themselves
victims of physical or sexual abuse, usually dating back to their
childhood. Many rapists have extremely low self-esteem and they seek to
boost their self-esteem through perpetrating violence upon other people.
They have a need to feel powerful and they believe in sex role
stereotypes: that men have to be masculine, tough, self-sufficient, in
charge and able to perform sexually. They think that women are
possessions to be controlled, beaten and forced into submission and sex.
Pornography reinforces this image and is linked to violent sexual
behaviour (Towards a theology of sexuality 1993:24).
entitlement In addition to all these reasons, the researchers argued that an additional
factor has come to light as a result of their research: ``that of feeling
entitled to instant gratification and release of sexual energies. To this
end, the bodies of women and children are frequently used in a callous
and careless way'' (Towards a theology of sexuality 1993:24).
Furthermore, these brutal acts of violence, based on a false under-
standing of ``entitlement'', are often imitated and repeated by children
who have witnessed them. This means that we are creating a culture of
sexual violence. This violence is even more horrifying in that it is most
often perpetuated by persons known to the victim:
Claims that rape is a crime of passion, that all rapists are insane and
rape occurs only between strangers in dark alleys, are just some of
the misconceptions held by policemen, magistrates and people in
general ... The myth that rapes occur only in dark alleys between
strangers is particularly untrue in South Africa, where an estimated
60% of all rapes occur in the form of marital, date or acquaintance
rape (Saturday Star, 25 January 1997:13).

These instances of lack of self-control and complete disregard for the

rights and feelings of others are not restricted to adolescents:
Adults also seem to turn to sex as a form of release from the
monotony of unemployment and poverty. This, together with an
entrenched sense of entitlement, gives rise to stories as the one in
which a father raped his daughter while his wife was away at a night
 142

vigil. His explanation was that he felt like sex and his wife was not
available so he was, therefore, entitled to his daughter. This lack of
impulse control is horrifying in its baseness and in the fact that it is
happening every day to countless women and children (Saturday
Star, 25 January 1997:13).

boredom and Therapists point out that young perpetrators engage in sexual acts as well
experimentation as in drug experimentation as a result of boredom. In the absence of adult
after-school supervision and recreational or sporting activities, many
young people turned to sex:
Commonly, adolescent boys flippantly explain why they rape their
sisters, cousins or brothers as simply because they wanted to see
what sex was like. The fact that their victims are eight or six years
old does not appear to be problematic for them ... There appears to
be an inability or unwillingness to set limits on their own behaviour
and take responsibility for their own actions by selfishly gratifying
their needs and not respecting the rights and needs of the other
(Saturday Star, 25 January 1997:13).

social causes In response to this question of why some are violent towards others,
some commentators emphasise the general social conditions in which
people live. According to explanations, it is the system that causes
violence. To some extent this is a valid argument since in South Africa,
for example, a long history of violence has led to enormous social
dislocation and this is reflected in the many incidents of violence which
occur in our country.
human sin However, one must avoid a purely behaviourist argument since it
suggests that human agents are not responsible for the violent acts which
they commit. Therefore, from a theological perspective, one must always
emphasise the fact that human beings are held responsible, by God, for
whatever actions they commit. Thus, whilst sociological explanations
must be taken into account, guilt and human responsibility must not be
ignored. Perpetrators, says Ackermann, decide to act violently:
We find it easier to talk about changing circumstances than to
address the equally fundamental need to change our attitudes and
our behaviour. It is simpler to appeal to the might of the State for
more stringent law enforcement and more punitive measures by the
courts than to examine our own hearts and our own proclivities to
violence. The recognition that people make choices demands one
takes seriously both the will to violence as well as how we choose
to respond to violence. The question of agency, of choice, is
extremely important in the search for an appropriate theological and
pastoral response to violence (Ackermann 1996:148).
 143 CGM302-T/1

13.6 RAPE AND THE BIBLE

some key Several biblical passages deal specifically with the issue of rape. For
passages example, Genesis 34 tells the story of the rape of Dinah. Judges 19:11±
30 relates the incident of the gang rape and murder of an unnamed
woman, and 2 Samuel 13 relates the rape of Tamar, a princess. Phyllis
Trible's book entitled Texts of terror discusses four narratives of female
suffering in ancient Israel. In the introduction of the book she says:
In this book I task to tell sad stories as I hear them. Indeed, they are
tales of terror with women as victims. Belonging to the sacred
scriptures of synagogue and church, these narratives yield four
portraits of suffering in ancient Israel: Hagar, the slave used, abused
and rejected; Tamar, the princess raped and discarded; an unnamed
woman, a concubine raped, murdered and dismembered; and the
daughter of Jephthah, a virgin slain and sacrificed (Trible 1984:1).
_________________________________________

Activity 13.2

(1) Read 2 Samuel 13:1±20.

(2) Identify how and where this story illustrates the following typical
points about rape:

(a) The rape was perpetrated by a known person.

(b) The survivor of rape is told to keep quiet.
(c) The survivor's life is desolate.
(d) Those who have the power to prevent the rape, or punish the
rape, do not use their power in the correct way.
_________________________________________

2 Samuel 13 Amnon was Tamar's half-brother. He manipulated his father David to

gain access to Tamar. He deliberately and cold-bloodedly planned the
rape of this sister. Amnon turned his male power and privilege into
aggression, violence and destructiveness. He used his power to take what
he wanted by force.
When Amnon demanded that Tamar serve his lust, she replied:
No, my brother, do not violate me, for it is not done thus in Israel.
Do not do this foolish thing (2 Sam 13:12).

Trible says concerning Amnon: ``[Tamar] was never his temptation. His
evil was his own lust, and from it others needed protection'' (Trible
1984:56).
After the rape, Tamar is told to keep quiet. King David colluded with
Amnon through his silence. He did not want to face the consequences of
 144

confronting his heir. His own interests and the norms of the patriarchal
society prevailed over justice and compassion.
Absalom was so angry with Amnon that he later killed him. His wish for
revenge was fulfilled but Tamar remained desolate and devalued. She
was forgotten in the battle between the men. Poling (1991:158)
comments:
Revenge is much easier to indulge than sharing the pain of the
sexual violence with the victim. In order to be empathetic with a
woman who has been raped, one must imagine being in a
vulnerable position of physical danger. Rather than face that pain,
many men would rather imagine the active murder of the rapist than
the passive position of the victim. The latent message in this story is
that sexual violence against women is not about the humanity of
women but about power between men.

In discussing the rape of Tamar who was a princess of Judah in 2 Samuel

13:1±22, Trible (1984:37) says:
From the book of Samuel comes the story of a family enmeshed in
royal rape. Brother violates sister. He is a prince to whom belong
power, prestige and unrestrained lust. She is a princess to whom
belong wisdom, courage, and unrelieved suffering. Children of one
father, they have not the same care of each other. Indeed, the brother
cares not at all.

Judges 19 Turning now to the book of Judges, it must be remembered that this book
deals with a period of Israel's history in which there was no central
government and individuals did what they liked. Within this context of
personal and social anarchy we have the story of the unnamed woman in
Judges 19:1±30. Trible (1984:65) says:
The betrayal, rape, torture, murder, and dismemberment of an
unnamed woman is the story we wanted to forget but are
commanded to speak. It depicts the horrors of male power,
brutality, and triumphalism; of female helplessness, abuse, and
annihilation. To hear the story is to inhabit a world of unrelenting
terror that refuses to let us pass on the other side.

This story plays out in the town of Gibeah. We are told that evil, base
men of the city demanded of the master of the house that their guest be
brought out so that they may ``know'' him, in other words sexually abuse
him. The householder offered both his virgin daughter and the unnamed
concubine to the men. When they would not listen to him, he seized the
concubine and put her outside the house. We are told that the whole
group of men ``abused her all night until the morning''. The next day this
abused woman fell down at the door of the man's house. The
concubine's master then took her home where he dismembered her
and sent each of the12 pieces into the different territories of Israel. The
narrator of the story then comments:
 145 CGM302-T/1

And all who saw it said: ``Such a thing has never happened or has
been seen from the day that the people of Israel came up out of the
land of Egypt until this day: consider, take counsel, and speak''
(Judges 19:30).

In the two following chapters of the book of Judges this initial deed of
violence is multiplied over and over again as the various men involved in
the conflict take revenge not simply upon each other but upon the
innocent women within their areas.
Commenting on the treatment meted out to this unnamed woman, Trible
(1984:81) states:
Of all the characters in scripture, she is the least. Appearing at the
beginning and close of a story that rapes her, she is alone in the
world of men. Neither the other characters nor the narrator
recognises her humanity. She is property, object, tool, and literary
device. Without name, speech, or power, she has no friends to aid
her in life or mourn her in death. Passing her back and forth among
themselves, the men of Israel have obliterated her totally. Captured,
betrayed, raped, tortured, murdered, dismembered, and scattered Ð
this woman is the most sinned against.

Trible also points out that this deed committed in Gibeah is commented
on by the prophet Hosea:
They have deeply corrupted themselves as in the days of Gibeah.
God will remember their iniquity; God will punish their sins (Hosea
9:9).

Phyllis Trible (1984:87) concludes her discussion of the unnamed

woman in Judges by saying:
First of all, we can recognise the contemporaneity of the story.
Misogyny belongs to every age, including our own. Violence and
vengeance are not just characteristics of a distant, pre-Christian
past; they infect the community of the elect to this day. Woman as
object is still captured, betrayed, raped, tortured, murdered,
dismembered, and scattered. To take to heart this ancient story,
then, is to confess its present reality. The story is alive and all is not
well. Beyond confession we must take counsel to say, ``Never
again''. Yet this counsel is ineffectual unless we direct our hearts to
that most uncompromising of all biblical commands, speaking the
word not to others but to ourselves; Repent. Repent.

What is striking about these passages is the fact that they clearly deal
with the issue of rape whereas, in many instances, modern churches
completely avoid the subject. Those who attend church on a regular basis
can testify to the relatively small number of sermons, if any, that they
 146

have heard that deal with matters such as rape and battering or sexual,
emotional and verbal abuse.

13.6 BATTERING
what is Battering can be defined as the physical, verbal, or emotional assault
battering? within the home by family members. Although husbands, wives and
children can be victims of battering, the most common form of battering
is wife or partner battering.
_________________________________________

Activity 13.3

ILLUSTRATION 13.1

Most domestic violence occurs against women and children.

Source: Brimohanlall in Pillemer and Shackleton 1999:43

(1) What are your feelings as you look at this picture?

(2) What is this picture saying about the husband and about the wife?

(3) Is the anger of the husband justifiable? Who has power in this
picture?
_________________________________________

battering is Battering is the use of violence or the threat of violence in order to

violence control another person. Two key aspects of battering are threat and
control. Battering is not simply an isolated event; rather it is a pattern of
 147 CGM302-T/1

behaviour which establishes coercive control over another human being.

There are many forms of battery. Men damage women, particularly their
wives, by using threats, reckless driving, injuring pets, burning, kicking,
keeping the woman awake, sexual humiliation, choking, throwing things
at them, beating their heads against the wall, and many other abusive and
destructive means. Marital rape is another common form of abuse:
Women are often raped as a continuation of the beating, threatened
with more violence if they fail to comply with their husbands'
sexual requests, or forced to have sex to oblige the abusers' need to
make up after a beating. Batterers who also rape their wives
committed some of the most brutal and violent assaults. Women
who survived battering rapes often felt that it was the sexual abuse
that was the most devastating (Adams 1994:13).

The following may be some of the indications of abuse occurring:

. repeated bruises, broken bones and other injuries
. the women who appear to be frightened and withdrawn
. women who appear to be uncomfortable when their partners are
present
. references to the bad moods or tempers of their spouse
. overly timid or frightened behaviour on the part of the children
. suicide attempts

An awareness of the possible implications of these signs of abuse ought

to alert pastors and other believers to the need to make determined
enquiries and to act responsibly and effectively if battering is actually
occurring.

13.7 STATISTICS REGARDING BATTERING

It has been estimated that one-third of all married women in South Africa
are beaten by their husbands (New Nation 1991:16). Rape Crisis groups
in South Africa estimate that one in every six women is assaulted by her
partner (Ross 1993:25). No matter what the exact figure is, these are
alarmingly high statistics. Domestic violence statistics are not kept by
police, but it is conservatively estimated that between one in six and one
in four women are regularly abused by their husbands or boyfriends
within the confines of the relationship (Buckenham 1999:41). Even more
horrifying is that many women Ð one every six days in Gauteng Ð are
murdered by their husbands or boyfriends (Pillemer et al 1999:107).
According to the US Bureau of Justice National Crime Survey, in
the United States a woman is beaten in her home every 15 seconds.
Testimony before the Senate Judiciary Committee indicates that as
many as four million women are affected each year by battering
(US Congress, Senate 1990). Quoted in Adams the United States, a
woman is more likely to be assaulted, injured, raped or killed by her
male partner than by any other assailant. Forty percent of all
 148

homeless women and children in this country are fleeing domestic

violence (Adams 1994:12).

According to Carol Adams, FBI statistics in America have indicated that

95 percent of victims of battering are women. She goes on to say:
The cultural context in which ministry occurs in the United States is
one in which woman-battering is normative and has not been seen
as deviant behaviour. In contrast, violence against men in intimate
relationships is deviant and society responds to it as such. This is
why women are so harshly punished for using violence in self-
defence (Adams 1994:7).
_________________________________________

Activity 13.4

Read this article entitled ``Nhlapo's call draws more criticism than praise''.

South Africa's general acceptance of violence as a solution, and the

reaction that abused women get from society, keep abused women
silent, anti-woman abuse lobbyists say. In fact, for some sections of
society there appear to be times when woman abuse can be justified.
That, at least, is what some South African women have shown, by
condemning an SABC 1 presenter who spoke out against abuse and
urged its victims to walk out.
``Many men abuse because they can; because people say it is
acceptable. Either you condemn abuse, or you don't,'' said Lisa
Vetten of the Centre for Violence and Reconciliation.
When SABC 1 presenter Zandi Nhlapo recently condemned women
abuse and urged victims to get out of abusive relationships, it would
have been logical that she would receive the support of women.
Instead, since she spoke about the abuse in the Saturday Star, letters
and phone calls have been pouring in from mostly women, offering
``the real'' reasons for the split between Nhlapo and her ex-husband.
``Zandi knows exactly why he beat her up,'' said ``Disgusted Female
Neighbour''. ``There is just so much any human can take. Her
husband had had enough when he allegedly started beating her up.''
Vetten said Nhlapo's case illustrated one of the reasons why women
preferred to stay silent about the abuse they suffered.
Source: The Star, January 23, 2001

With reference to the phrase ``There is just so much a husband can take'',
answer these questions:

(1) Can you think of any reason that would justify abuse?

(2) Do husbands ever have a right to abuse their wives?

(3) Do wives ever have a right to abuse their husbands?

_________________________________________
 149 CGM302-T/1

13.8 WHY DO MEN BATTER THEIR WIVES OR PARTNERS?

a need for control As already indicated above, battering has to do with control. Men
attempt to control their circumstances by exercising abusive control over
their wives. Often they project the anger and frustration they feel at work
on their wives. Instead of taking responsibility for their own lives and
decisions, they ``take it out'' on someone weaker than themselves,
someone in a vulnerable situation. Often, out of fear of the
consequences, women submit to this abuse, sometimes to the point
that they are psychologically unable to object to the abuse. Sometimes,
even after a long period of abuse, a battered woman will suddenly seek
help and leave her husband. The point, then, is that women may submit
to abuse but they do not cause this abuse. Physically abusive men decide
not to exercise self-control and they simply let themselves go and use
their anger to frighten and hurt another person:
Abusive men have usually learnt to deal with anger and frustration
through violence and have difficulty in controlling aggressive actions.
They may feel sorry and guilty afterwards, but they have difficulty in
accepting responsibility for what they have done (Towards a theology of
sexuality 1993:24).
In response to the question of ``why men batter'', Adams (1994:14) has
this to say:
Generally speaking, battering is not a character defect or a sign of
mental illness. Nor is it a universal practice in intimate
relationships. But as a behaviour that establishes the perpetrator's
control and dominance, nothing functions as effectively as batte-
ring. Professionals who work with men who batter have observed
that assaultive men believe stereotypes about male-female roles and
over-identify with the stereotypic male role. Because of this over-
identification they feel the right to control anyone with less power
or status (women and children).

Concerning men who beat their wives, Shackleton says:

There is a general chauvinistic attitude that women's bodies do not
belong to them and many men feel they are entitled to beat their
wives. It is not an age or race issue but [occurs] across the board
(Saturday Star 23 November 1996:13).

In contrast to this perception there are several New Testament texts

which, as indicated below, emphasise that people ought to have control
over their own bodies, that no person may abuse another's body, and that
the practice of mutual care and submission of marriage partners ought to
be the norm.
 150

13.9 THE CHURCH'S RESPONSE TO BATTERING

_________________________________________

Activity 13.5

(1) Have you attended church services or Bible studies where the subject
of the sermon or theme was rape or battery? Many, some or none?
Why do you think this is so?

(2) If someone came to you and shared their experience of rape or

battering, how would you respond?

(3) Would you begin by listening or by telling them what to do?

(4) What biblical, theological or personal resources would you draw on in

your response?

(5) Consider the following illustration. What is it saying about the church's
attitudes to violence against women? How effective is the church in
dealing with this abuse?

ILLUSTRATION 13.2

The role of the church

Source: Buckenham (1998:114)

 151 CGM302-T/1

To illustrate the all-too-common unwillingness of the church, and mainly

male pastors, to face up to the issue of battering, Carol Adams (1994:11)
relates the following story:
One shelter worker described a battered woman who had told her
that her church was her family. Her husband and abuser was a
church leader. Her appeals for help from her church family and the
pastor received little substantive response. They did not support her
need for safety. To them, the sanctity of the marriage was more
important than her safety. When her husband went for pastoral help
to end his abuse, the church told her that he was working on it.
However, she continued to be brutally abused by him. Later she
divorced him Ð losing all sense of family because the church
rebuffed her. After a time, he assured her that he had gotten help,
and she returned to him. The day after she returned, he beat her. In
the wake of the beating, she committed suicide. What this woman
needed is what every battered woman needs: a community to hold
her abuser accountable because she could not and spiritual support
from her pastor and church. She needed not to have to choose
between safety and the support of the church.

In contrast to this case study, we have in the New Testament this

instruction to husbands from the apostle Paul: ``Husbands, love your
wives and never treat them harshly'' (Col 3:16). Also, in Ephesians, Paul
says:
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave
himself up for her, ... In the same way, husbands should love their
wives as they do their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves
himself. For no-one ever hates his own body, but he nourishes and
tenderly cares for it, just as Christ does for the church, because we
are members of his body (Eph 5:25ff).

recognition and Christians need to ask themselves, quite simply, whether we practise
action what we preach. We would be deceiving ourselves if we believed that
battering is not occurring in the church. It is. Therefore we need to put
our own house in order by identifying and eradicating this abusive and
sinful practice among church members. This will require courage,
confrontation, effort, wisdom and commitment.
A second step would then be to harness the compassion, energy and
insight of church members called to be witnesses and workers for the
gospel in this area of ministry. If we do not take active steps such as
these, we are revealing our acceptance of the evil of battering and our
unwillingness to confront abusive situations within marriage. Conse-
quently, all our preaching about the purpose of marriage (eg as contained
in study units 9 and 10) not only will be meaningless but also a
deliberate deception.
naming In dealing with battering, the most important step is that of naming, that
is when the abuse that is occurring is actually named and brought out
 152

into the open. Christian counsellors who are faced with people coming to
them as a result of battering need to be prepared to make referrals to
properly qualified people. It is particularly important to ensure the safety
of the woman and children involved. The issue of accountability is also a
very important one, whereby the perpetrators need to admit their
responsibility for their actions. Only once these steps have been taken, is
it possible for a process to be initiated whereby possible healing and
restoration can occur within a family that has experienced physical or
sexual abuse.
Consider the following illustration of the ``Cycle of violence''. What are
the steps in this cycle?

ILLUSTRATION 13.3
The cycle of violence

Source: Brimohanlall in Pillemer and Shackleton (1999:111)

 153 CGM302-T/1

The first stage of the cycle is accusation and the building up of anger.
The second stage is violence. The third stage is that of apology and
promises. The fourth stage is the ``honeymoon'' stage. Once the fourth
stage has run its course, the accusations of the first stage will begin
again.
Now read the following story:
Sylvia and Archie have been married for 12 years. They have three
children. Sylvia was very much in love with Archie when they married. He
was so strong, and although there were a few problems, he said he loved
her too. He insisted that she stop working once their first child was born.
``He was insistent, he said that women shouldn't work, they must take care
of the husband and children.'' Sylvia stopped working, Archie was pleased
for a while, but Sylvia was lonely.
Archie didn't want her to spend time with friends or family. He always
suspected her of having affairs and phoned home all the time to check
that she was there. Sylvia gradually lost touch with her friends, and her
family stopped visiting because of the trouble it caused. Archie also
seemed jealous of the child.
He started coming home late, never giving an explanation. ``He got very
angry when I asked him where he had been. He would tell me it's because
I was a bad wife that he doesn't come home. He hit me for the first time
after coming home late. Before that he would just shout, and throw things
at me. Once he grabbed me by the hair. But this time he hit me hard. I was
so shocked. I just froze up Ð I was so humiliated and hurt.''
Archie said he was sorry and things got better for a while. Archie said that
Sylvia made him very angry when she tried to stop him from going out.
Sylvia tried hard to be a good wife, she promised to try harder. Sylvia told
no-one what was happening. She was embarrassed, and anyway she had
no-one to talk to.
Things were different for Sylvia after that. She still loved Archie, and
hoped that things would get better. Archie was working but gave Sylvia
very little to take care of the house and buy food. ``My first child was
starting school Ð she needed books and a uniform, but I didn't have any
money. Archie said that I spend too much, that he works hard for me and I
don't respect him. This time he hit me badly. He always says he won't do it
again Ð that I must change, be a better wife. It gets better for a while, but
then things get worse. He finds fault in everything I do, he tells me I am
useless and that I'm a bad wife. Everything gets blamed on me ... I am so
tired.''
``I did go to the police once and laid a charge, but Archie said he was
sorry. He begged me to drop the charge. How can I send the father of my
children to jail? And what will happen to me if he is in jail? I have no
money, and I haven't worked in a long time Ð jobs are hard to find these
days. So I dropped the charge. The policeman said that I shouldn't go
back to them Ð that I am wasting their time. Now I just sit at home and
wait for Archie to come home. I wonder: what will he find wrong tonight?
Will he lock me out of the house again, or hit me? Or will he be his old
self Ð funny and caring? I am seeing less and less of this side of Archie. I
just don't know what to do Ð how can I break up my family, what will I do
with no money and no place to stay Ð with three children in school?''
Source: Brimohanlall in Pillemer and Shackleton (1999:108).
 154
_________________________________________

Activity 13.6

Using illustration 13.3 and the story you have just read, answer these
questions:

(1) Why did Archie encourage Sylvia to stop work? How did this affect
the balance of power in the relationship?

(2) What were the consequences for her when she stopped work?

(3) Why do you think Archie stopped her seeing friends?

(4) List all the things you see as problems in this relationship.

(5) Why do you think Sylvia stays in the relationship?

(6) What practical steps could be taken to help Sylvia and Archie?
_________________________________________

Why did Archie want Sylvia to stop work? It appears that he wanted to
isolate her from friends and family. Without the support of friends and
family and without work she is very vulnerable and it is easy for him to
control her life. It is very hard for Sylvia to get help.
Sylvia seems to still have some feelings for Archie. She may feel sorry
for him and, at first, she kept hoping that he would change. She may
have come to believe that she is worthless as he keeps telling her she is.
She is reluctant to break up the family. There are also economic reasons
why she stays. She has not worked for a long time and is worried about
getting a job. She has no place to go and does not know how she will
care for the children. She was also embarrassed and ashamed about the
abuse and may be afraid that she will be blamed for the failure of the
marriage. Sylvia does not seem to have strong religious or cultural
beliefs that prevent her from leaving Ð but some women do Ð and this
makes it even more difficult for them to leave.
Reading this study unit may have made you feel angry or depressed. You
may have experienced other feelings also. Often, people feel that there is
nothing that can be done. This, however, is not true. (You are advised to
read the books mentioned in this study unit to broaden your
understanding of the problems and possible solutions to rape and
battering. Another text you will find in the bibliography is a recent MTh
dissertation by CB Jansen.) But, before embarking on a fuller theological
analysis of what can be done, we will now move on to the subject of
child abuse (study unit 14). At the end of study unit 14, we will return to
the issue of what can be done to deal effectively with all three matters
raised in study units 13 and 14, namely rape, battering and child abuse.
 155 CGM302-T/1

STUDY UNIT 14

Child abuse
OUTCOMES
The outcomes of this study unit are very similar to the previous one.
After working through this study unit, you should be able to:
. give a description of child abuse and some basic facts
. identify key issues of relevance to the exposure, criticism and
removal of this evil from our churches and from society
. make links between patriarchy, the abuse of power and child abuse
. give some ethical and practical guidelines that can help the church
to deal compassionately and effectively with the issue of child
abuse

_________________________________________

Activity 14.1

Read the following newspaper editorial:

A stolen childhood
Of all the tragedies that make up the quilt of everyday life, perhaps
none is more poignant than that of children selling their young bodies
for sex.
Mature and hardened long before their time, they never get to enjoy
innocence and wonder Ð the true gifts of youth.
Over the past few weeks, we have carried a number of articles about
child prostitution and how it is a growing cancer within our society.
This week, we reveal that, horrifyingly, 40% of the estimated 10 000
prostitutes on the streets of Johannesburg are children under the age
of 18. The average age of child hookers is 14, with some as young as
7 being forced onto the streets by their families, or sold to pimps.
It is a national disgrace that so many of those who should be the
future of our nation Ð our children Ð have already sold their souls
and been lost to us.
It is true that many of these children are forced by economic
necessity to take to the streets to earn money to help their families
survive. The grinding poverty which makes prostitution the only way
out for many is something that the government, business and society
 156

at large should work together to address. Those on the streets should

be given other options, including education and employment.
We should also crack down hard on those men who make use of
under-age sex workers. They should be arrested, prosecuted and
vigorously ``outed'' in public. Those with a taste for young flesh should
know that it will come with a high price.
Pimps and drug dealers who ensnare young people into a life of
prostitution to feed drug habits should be pursued relentlessly and put
behind bars.
If we do nothing, we are complicit in the ongoing rape.
Source: Saturday Star, April 29 (2000:8)

Answer these questions:

(1) How did reading this editorial make you feel?

(2) Why are the childhoods of these children being stolen?

(3) Is it true that ``if we do nothing, we are complicit in the ongoing rape''?

(4) What four practical steps can you suggest which, if taken, would begin
to put right this terrible wrong?
_________________________________________

14.1 WHAT IS CHILD ABUSE?

The term ``child abuse'' refers to situations in which children are
misused or mishandled. In sharp contrast to the need of children for
nurture, love, protection and care, certain children have suffered at the
hands of their parents or other persons. Child abuse comes in various
forms: physical abuse, emotional abuse and sexual abuse are three of the
main forms of abuse.
Examine the following historical example of physical (and emotional)
child abuse.
Physical abuse includes actions such as being made to perform hard
labour, severe beatings, children being burnt with cigarettes, children
being whipped, locked into cupboards and other horrific instances of
abuse.
Verbal or emotional abuse include shouting at children, running them
down, criticising them, destroying their self-confidence and in all ways
failing to nurture the child physically and emotionally.
Sexual abuse may take the form of the rape of the child. Sexual abuse
could also include instances where children are fondled in a sexual way
or are compelled to fondle the genitals of someone else or even engage in
oral sex.
Illustration 14.2 provides examples of verbal/emotional abuse as well as
sexual abuse.
 157 CGM302-T/1

ILLUSTRATION 14.1
Child labour. The appalling labour conditions of this young boy Ð
stripped naked and digging coal down a mine shaft Ð and others like
him, drove thousands of British men to join the Chartist movement in
1838 to campaign for political reform. At the time, workers were
excluded from any participation in government, and the first requisite of
a seat in parliament was wealth.

Source: Stewart (1997:29)

ILLUSTRATION 14.2
Emotional and sexual abuse

Source: In Touch No 4 (1994:19)

 158
_____________________________________________________

Activity 14.2

Examine the following pictures closely. Note how the children have deliberately or unconsciously
indicated the truth of their situations.

ILLUSTRATION 14.3

Empty eyes, withered arms and

useless hands reveal this 13-
year-old's helplessness. He was An 11-year-old boy's drawing shows his father hitting him on a bed. The
abused by his father over a long psychologist discovered the father had assaulted the boy, sexually as well, for
period. years.

No arms ± helpless; empty eyes ±

trusts no one; small drawing ±
doesn't feel safe; bottom of the
page ± insecure and unsafe. The
drawing was done by a seven-year-
old girl who had been violently
raped and hurt. Both her parents
are alcoholics.
 159 CGM302-T/1

(1) What are these children trying to say?

(2) Are the adults listening and responding in appropriate ways? Why?
_________________________________________

You will have noticed that it is not always easy to interpret what these
children are saying, which makes it all the more important for parents,
teachers, Sunday school teachers and friends of the family to be aware of
what is going on around them. It is our responsibility to protect children
from the abuse of power by using our power wisely and effectively.
sexual abuse When sexual abuse occurs within the family, the term normally used to
describe it is incest. There are several passages in the Bible where incest
is condemned in the strongest possible terms. As mentioned earlier in
this study guide, the whole of Leviticus 18 deals with unlawful sexual
relations. In particular, Leviticus 18:9 and 17 deal with incestuous sexual
relationships with minors. Some of the strongest words of judgment
recorded by Jesus have to do with punishments of people who harm little
children. Thus, Matthew 18:6, Mark 9:42 and Luke 17:1±2 can be
mentioned. As the Lukan passage puts it:
Jesus said to his disciples: ``Things that cause people to sin are
bound to come, but woe to that person through whom they come. It
would be better for him to be thrown into the sea with a millstone
tied around his neck than for him to cause one of these little ones to
sin. So watch yourselves'' (Luke 17:1±3).

The sexual abuse of children is a particularly horrifying example of

distorted, negative and abusive expressions of human sexuality.
Although it is true that in recent years incidents of the sexual abuse of
children have featured more prominently in the media, it is a mistake to
think that sexual abuse is restricted to our own age. In the ancient
Assyrian, Greek and Roman civilisations, for example, a technical term
was often used, namely pederasty, which refers to men having
intercourse with young boys. Child prostitution was also known. The
sexual, or other, abuse of children highlights the way in which adults
abuse their power and position of responsibility.
Now read the following authentic text which deals with common myths
about abuse.

Myths about abuse

. Abuse is a rare event
This is not true. According to the latest statistics one in four girls and
one in six boys is abused before the age of eighteen years.
. It happens only among poor, uneducated people
This is not true. My experience in my own practice has confirmed what
one reads in the literature, namely that it occurs across the whole
spectrum of the population; therefore among ministers, doctors,
engineers, teachers as well as among labourers and unskilled people.
 160

. The abuser is usually a stranger

This is not true. In the vast majority of cases the abuser is known to the
child.
. Abuse is always the result of unfulfilled sexual needs
This is not true. Most abusers are involved in a sexual relationship with
an adult woman. They turn to children as a result of feelings of power
and control. It sometimes hinges on the unconditional love and
acceptance that children are capable of giving. These needs are then
realised in a sexual manner.
. Children behave in such a provocative way that they are at least partly
responsible for the abuse
This is not true. Most children sometimes behave in a sexual way with
people in whose presence they feel safe. It usually occurs on a very
innocent and exploratory level. As part of their psycho-sexual
development, little girls flirt with their fathers and boys with their
mothers. The way a parent treats this conduct is very important in the
child's development. Sometimes teenagers behave provocatively,
usually as a result of lack of knowledge. It is, however, always the
adult's responsibility to cope with the situation, because during abuse he
must:
Ð overcome the child's resistance;
Ð overcome his inhibitions;
Ð plan a meeting in such a way as not to be found out;
Ð ensure that the situation is kept secret.
. Most of the stories told by children about abuse are simply not true
This, too, is untrue. Deeper psychological examinations usually confirm
the child's story.
. The mother of the child always knows about the abuse
This is not true. About 10±20% of mothers are totally unaware of what is
happening to their children. Approximately 6% take an active part in the
abuse, while the more typical mother is aware of it at an unconscious
level and even involved.
. There surely must be some responsible adult some-where whom the
child can tell about it and who will help
This is not so. The child who does not speak out, is often the child who
is trying to protect herself or someone else from the threats of the
abuser. Sometimes she tries to speak out, but is not believed.
. It is better to draw a curtain over the events and get on with your life
This is not so. The emotional damage to the child is enormous and
influences her own life as well as the lives of those nearest to her in
many areas.
Source: Retief (1999:129±130)

children's But how do children respond to sexual violence? A child victim's

responses reaction to sexual assault depends on a number of factors, including the
following:
 161 CGM302-T/1

(1) What is the relationship between the child and the molester? The
closer the molester is to the child and the family unit, the greater the
trauma.
(2) How many times did the sexual assault occur? The greater the
number, the greater the trauma. A single assault seems to be easier
for a child to deal with than multiple assaults over a long period.
(3) How much force or violence was used on the child during the
assault? Again, the more violent the attack, the greater the child's
emotional reaction to the assault.
(4) Was emotional abuse Ð especially shame, guilt or embarrass-
ment Ð used as a tactic to sexually assault the child? The answer to
this question is almost always yes, and this results in greater
emotional reactions and long-term effects on the child (Wood &
Hatton 1988:269).

The amount of trauma the child experienced can be directly related to

these issues. Child victims of sexual assault may be expected to exhibit
any or all of the following negative reactions:
sleep and eating problems, fear of school, emotional regression,
depression, suicidal thoughts (yes, even in children!), physical
symptomology, shock, and bed-wetting (Wood & Hatton
1988:269).

14.2 WHY ARE CHILDREN ABUSED?

The question may be asked ``why is it that children are sexually
abused?'' There are many answers to this question, of which some can be
mentioned here.
background of One reason for the occurrence of sexual abuse towards children is that
abusers the abusers are often persons who were themselves abused as children. In
a tragic and cruel way they re-enact their own negative experiences and
reproduce patterns of sexual abuse within particular families or
communities. Sexual violence often flows out of the psychological
need of the perpetrator for power and control. Because the perpetrators
themselves are psychologically damaged in some way, this power and
control is exercised in a destructive and abusive manner.
To acknowledge the fact that many present-day abusers were themselves
previously abused does not excuse such persons. Despite having
experienced trauma in their own childhood, they must still be held
accountable for their own actions because they are choosing to act as
abusers. These powerful adults are abusing their seniority and authority
and are deliberately mishandling children. Such actions cannot be simply
explained away on psychological or sociological grounds. Such persons
must be held accountable, certainly by God, and also by the family,
community and church.
misuse of power As was made clear in a previous section dealing with rape, it must be
remembered that sexual violence is not simply a sexual expression of
 162

alienation or destructiveness. Even though apparently a sexual act, the

rape of adults or of children is a misuse of power. It has, therefore, more
to do with power than it has to do with sex. The actions of adults who act
out abuse in relation to children are very often based on false
understandings of entitlement or power. Some people believe that they
can act in any way they like in relation to their own or someone else's
children. This is a fundamentally unethical and un-Christian perspective.
No one person ever has absolute power over another person, and any
person who holds a position of authority must bear in mind that they
hold their authority subject to the power and will of God. And they will
ultimately be held accountable by God for the way in which they
exercise this power. Furthermore, such persons need to be exposed and
dealt with by families and communities for the way in which they
exercise their power.
community In recent years there have been examples in the media of communities
responses who have responded to situations of abuse by taking matters into their
own hands. Consequently, suspected rapists or child molesters have been
physically assaulted by members of the community and some have even
been killed. Even though many people would deplore this form of
violence, where communities take matters into their own hands, there is
also widespread understanding for these types of actions, as it is the
perception of these people that the police force and justice system are not
dealing adequately with perpetrators of such acts. The point is that while
one might be critical of such extreme actions on the part of families and
communities, it does raise the issue of how communities ought to be
involved in the prevention of child molestation. It also raises the question
of how churches, particularly people who are involved with Sunday
schools or youth groups, are to respond to situations where abuse is
suspected. The same applies to social workers and teachers.

14.3 WHO ARE THE VICTIMS OF CHILD ABUSE?

It is a mistake to think that child molestation only occurs amongst
poorer, uneducated families. Sexual abuse, particularly incest, occurs
across all social groupings. Having said this, it is nevertheless true that
children who are in socially vulnerable positions are more likely to
experience sexual abuse at the hands of those outside their families. For
example, children who are alone at home or are orphans, refugees, and
``street kids'', are obviously much more vulnerable to situations of
sexual violence and abuse.
As in the case of rape, it is exceedingly difficult to obtain accurate
statistics. This is because only a certain percentage of incidents are
actually reported. Further, because children are under age and
particularly vulnerable to abuse by adults, it is even more difficult for
these children to make their situation known than it is, for example, for
adult women to report incidents of rape. It would appear, however, that
female children are more often the victims of sexual abuse than are male
children.
 163 CGM302-T/1

While men are most often the perpetrators of sexual abuse, it is true that
women, while less often themselves the perpetrators, do maintain a
culture of silence and thereby acquiesce in situations of abuse. Therefore,
certain mothers will not speak out against their fathers, brothers,
husbands or boyfriends when such persons are sexually abusing even
their own children. This is often because these women fear the
repercussions, both for themselves and their families, if they speak out.
The emotional alienation that results within these families is enormous,
because abused children soon realise that they can turn to neither their
mother nor father for protection, especially when it is their own father
who is abusing them and their own mother who is remaining silent.
A disturbing fact that has surfaced in research regarding child abuse is
that, after alcohol or drug addiction in the father, the most likely
predictor of abuse is conservative religiosity, accompanied by parental
belief in traditional male-female role stereotypes. As Heggen (1993:73)
puts it:
If you want to know which children are most likely to be sexually
abused by their father, the second most significant clue is whether
or not the parents belong to a conservative religious group with
traditional role beliefs and rigid sexual attitudes.

This is a very disturbing trend and needs to be considered very seriously

by Christians.
Another group of particularly vulnerable children are the children of
prostitutes or, to use current parlance, ``sex workers''. These children are
either sexually abused themselves, or they grow up in situations where
they are locked in cupboards whilst their mothers are performing with
clients or else they are unwilling witnesses of successive intercourse on
the part of their mother with a seemingly endless stream of men. A recent
newspaper reported:
We were told about one child who was locked in a cupboard until
his mother's work was over. She brought clients home and didn't
want him to see what she was doing, so she shut him in the
cupboard. Like many others, she had no baby-sitter. Other children
who come here are very sexually aware, because they have seen
their mothers servicing clients. It's a very unhealthy situation. [This
was said by a social worker at St Mary's Children's Home in
Rosettenville, Johannesburg] (Saturday Star, 23 November
1996:10).

14.4 THE INCIDENCE OF CHILD ABUSE AND LEGAL

PROCEDURES
some statistics It has been estimated that only 4 to 6 percent of children report cases of
sexual abuse. Even though this is an excessively low figure, the South
African courts are barely able to cope with the huge numbers of cases
 164

which are reported to them. Not only the courts, but also the Department
of Welfare and social workers, are inundated with cases.
In 1997 The National Council for Child and Family Welfare reported that
12 children are raped every hour in South Africa Ð one child every five
minutes. Since 1993, reports of child abuse have increased 108 percent.
In 1996, 20 333 sexual crimes and 8 626 assault-related crimes against
children were reported to the CPU (Child Protection Unit), including
rape, sodomy, incest, indecent assault, sexual offences, attempted
murder, abduction, kidnapping and public indecency (Buckenham
1999:30).
the law court As a result of this huge caseload, social workers, police and court
officials were not able to deal adequately with the problem of child
sexual abuse (Saturday Star, 23 November 1996:3). According to ElzabeÂ
Durr Fitschen, a court social worker in Cape Town,
Although these courts were more child friendly Ð cases were
handled more efficiently, there were more convictions and they
rendered a better co-ordinated service to the victims of abuse Ð
they were buckling under the pressure of heavy case loads
(Saturday Star, 23 November 1996:3).

A small number of special courts, which exclusively handle sexual

offences, have been established in the country. This kind of special court
was established in Cape Town in March 1993, but not all the provinces
have followed the example of the Western Cape and there is a desperate
need to establish large numbers of courts throughout the country which
can deal specifically with sexual offences, particularly instances of
family violence. Fitschen reported that the court procedure often worked
against the interests of the victim:
Both parties had the right to cross-examine and certain standards
were set in that the procedure should not be insulting or
humiliating, but it often was. Lawyers were allowed to be
aggressive and it could be humiliating and difficult for children
to bear. The role of the judge or magistrate was passive, as he had to
be neutral. ``If the cross-examination is humiliating for the child, he
often does not intervene, otherwise this could be seen to be siding
with the child'', Durr Fitschen said.
It is difficult to get one magistrate to sit in the court for longer than
a week. They don't like handling cases involving children. Children
were not entitled to their own lawyers and they were represented by
the State.
Meanwhile, perpetrators often employed advocates who had to deal
with only one particular case. State prosecutors were often
overworked and inexperienced in dealing with children.
A distinct advantage with our special court is that we have two
prosecutors, which means that while one is in court, the other can
consult with witnesses before the case is heard. In other regional
 165 CGM302-T/1

courts where child sexual abuse cases were heard, prosecutors only
had time to consult with the children minutes before the appearance.
Prosecutors and magistrates were not trained to deal sensitively
with children. They were not aware that children often did not
remember chronological events (Saturday Star, 23 November
1996:3).

These comments by Fitschen indicate the extent and seriousness of the

problem of the way in which the police and law courts fail to deal
adequately with cases of child abuse.
More recently, clinics and places of care, much as the Teddy Bear Home
in Johannesburg, have been established. These places are a sign of hope
and help, but many more need to be established all over the country,
indeed, across the entire African continent.

14.5 ADULT SURVIVORS OF CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE

While it is true that social workers and psychologists are nowadays
seeking to help the adult survivors of sexual abuse, the therapy involved
is a specialised field and needs a great deal of time in order for childhood
traumas to be overcome. For every small group of adult survivors of
childhood abuse who are receiving treatment, there are many more
people who are literally the ``walking wounded''. Some people have so
deeply repressed the experience of childhood trauma that they do not
consciously remember their experience of abuse.
What are the possible indicators that abuse may have occurred? Read
this summary:

Factors that indicate possible abuse

. A family system in which the parents are not available to the children.
. The person is a loner.
. She has a weak support system.
. She has poor parenting skills.
. She has flawed interpersonal relationships.
. She has a poor self-image (dirty, damaged and different).
. There is sexual malfunction.
. Depression is prevalent.
. There are often suicidal tendencies.
. The person sometimes has psychosomatic illnesses.
. She manifests self-destructive behaviour as regards
health:
Ð smoking
Ð drinking
Ð drug abuse
Ð eating disorders, and
success:
Ð studies
Ð profession
Ð relationships
 166

. She chooses a life partner ``as punishment''.

. She manifests typical ``Adjusted Child'' behaviour.
. There are gaps in her memory.
. A possible abuser is present.
Source: Retief (1999:24)

[Note: ``Adjusted Child'' behaviour is the way the person responds to

unmet needs. Three possible responses that are manifested are: being
aggressive (hurtful), trying to please everyone (helpful) or withdrawing
(helpless).]
In a study on adult survivors of incest, the following points were made:
Many people do not realise the long-lasting effects incest can have
on children. Even into their adulthood, victims carry an immense
amount of very intense feelings. The same negative reactions that
were listed for children can persist into their adult lives. For many,
the trauma of the abuse has been buried away even to the point of
forgetting that it ever happened. When this occurs, the symptoms
are the same, but no one can put all the pieces together. Only after
the nightmares of the abuse are confronted can recovery take place
(Wood & Hatton 1988:269).

More specifically, with regard to sexual feelings and relations, they may
have learnt one or more of the following ``life scripts'' (deep messages
that control their thoughts and actions) from their abuser and their
experience of abuse. This is how an adult survivor of childhood abuse
may feel:
A person like me ...
. has indecent sexuality
. has a disgusting body
. has abnormal sexuality
. has dead sexuality
. has uncontrollable sexuality
. doesn't care who I have sex with
. doesn't know what acceptable sexual conduct is
. isn't allowed to say no to sex
. isn't allowed to share my sexual needs with my partner
. is different to other people
. is bad if I enjoy sex
. doesn't know whether I am homosexual or not

Source: Retief (1999:184)

The following is a list of some of the feelings victims typically

experience (Wood & Hatton 1988:269):
(1) loss of control
(2) loss of feelings
(3) fear
(4) anxiety
 167 CGM302-T/1

(5) anger
(6) denial
(7) confusion
(8) depression
(9) helplessness
(10) self-mutilation
(11) shame
(12) guilt
_________________________________________

Activity 14.2

Imagine someone who had been abused as a child comes to you and asks,
``Why has God allowed this to happen to me?''

(1) Try to identify how this person might be feeling.

(2) Try to identify your own feelings in the situation.

(3) How would you answer their question?

(4) Are there any biblical passages you could use to help illustrate your
answer? You may wish to consult the next section if you struggle to
answer this question. Refer also to texts mentioned in 14.1 above.
_________________________________________

14.6 THE RESPONSES OF THE CHURCHES TO SEXUAL ABUSE

Several comments have already been made in this and the previous study
unit concerning what would constitute a proper and effective response on
the part of churches to sexual violence, especially in relation to the forms
discussed, namely rape, battering and child abuse. Because of the utmost
seriousness of the issue, however, additional analysis is provided below.

14.6.1 A theological critique

sexual violence is Sexual violence is a theological and pastoral problem because people
a theological who have suffered as a result of sexual violence ask questions such as
problem ``Why has this happened to me?'' or ``Why has God allowed this to
happen to me?''. Because of the way in which power relations within the
church follow the pattern of the world rather than the pattern of the
Gospel, people who have suffered as a result of sexual abuse often
perceive themselves to be the cause of the problem. Rather than realising
that it is the perpetrator and not the victim that is responsible, victims of
violence, particularly physical and sexual violence, often feel that they
are to blame. As a result, they feel guilty, angry, abandoned by God and
 168

are often filled with shame and confusion. According to Denise

Ackermann:
Violence is a theological problem, for it calls into question the very
nature of humanity and it raises doubts about God's presence in and
care for this world. It has ethical, doctrinal and pastoral dimensions.
The victims of violence cry out for healing (Ackermann 1996:145).

In the case of children, because they find it difficult to understand what is

happening to them, they end up feeling guilty and confused. This makes
it difficult for them to speak out about the abuse.
Sexual violence is also very definitely a pastoral concern because it has
to do with issues of justice and power:
Victims of sexual violence are abused for the gratification of those
more powerful than themselves. Rape is, therefore, the unjust, evil
abuse of coercive power and as such it is a theological problem
(Ackermann 1996:150).

If this is true of rape, it is even more true of child abuse, since powerful
people, often men, use their social position to dominate and damage
innocent children.
subordination Elizabeth SchuÈssler Fiorenza has given attention to the issue of the
challenged relationship between traditional theological teaching and sexual
violence. She has argued that a number of issues can be raised to
highlight the link between the abuse of women and children and
distorted theological teachings (Fiorenza & Copeland 1994:vii±xxiv).
The first of these relates to the way in which Greek and Roman socio-
cultural politics of subordination were taken up into the teaching and
practices of the Christian church. In a context where certain groups such
as women, children and slaves were traditionally subordinated, the New
Testament, especially a text such as Galatians 3:28, stresses that in Christ
there should no longer be unequal power relations between men and
women; slave and free; Jew and Gentile. Nevertheless, cultural practices
of domination during the 1st century tended to be perpetuated by the
church rather than being challenged by the church, especially from the
2nd century onwards.
It is all too often the case that Eve and, through her, all women are
blamed for the Fall. Thus, texts such as 1 Timothy 2:11±15 and
Ephesians 6:1ff are used to stress that women and children have to be
subordinate to men because it is wrongly argued that it was Eve, rather
than Adam, who was deceived. Consequently, says Fiorenza, victims of
sexual abuse are often made to feel responsible rather than the
perpetrators being made to feel responsible. In this regard we need to
make a distinction between genuine and neurotic (false) guilt. Genuine
guilt ought to be experienced by the abuser Ð but often he or she falsely
blames the abused child. The child then ``takes on'' the guilt of the
abuser and is made to feel that he or she has done something wrong Ð
 169 CGM302-T/1

or that there is something wrong with them. This is neurotic or false

guilt.
To what extent has the church and its theology given women a false
understanding of what submission means? The following statement was
made a point of discussion in the Umtata Women's Theology booklet on
human sexuality:
The church has used the creation story to subordinate women to
men and to blame women for sin and evil. The church has
encouraged the dominance of husbands over wives rather than
encouraging a theology of loving responsiveness to the needs of
each other. The church has focused on the value of suffering, easy
forgiveness and self-denial which result in the destructive abuse of
God's image as found in women (Towards a theology of sexuality
1993:25).

As already indicated in study unit 3, Christians have over the centuries

debated the meaning of the two creation stories in Genesis I and 2. The
first story emphasises the creation of men and women in a relationship of
equality. The second story has been interpreted to mean that since men
were created first they are the superior gender. Despite the illogical
nature of this argument, this approach has been a common one
throughout the history of the church. If this was taken to its logical
conclusion one would say the animals were created before men and so
they should be superior to them Ð an obvious falsehood. False
understandings of submission are also used against children by those
who think of their children as ``their own property''. Given what has
already been said in this study guide about Ephesians 5, as well as the
context of Ephesians 6:1±4, it is clear that is is a false view. God will
judge adults for how they have treated children. The church must do the
same.
abuse of power In addition, certain of the Pauline passages (such as 1 Cor 11:2±17) have
been used to reinforce the idea that men are superior to and ought to
exert authority over women. What is often not recognised is that several
elements of the Pauline passages on family relationships would have
been regarded with horror and disbelief by many of Paul's readers. This
is so because Paul, unlike many of his contemporaries, insisted that men
love their wives (Eph 5:21 and 25±31) and also instructed husbands to
never treat them harshly (Col 3:16). The same sentiments are repeated in
1 Peter 3:7. This means that the Pauline passages ought not to be used as
a reason for the abuse and submission of women at the hands of men,
whether these be husbands or not. Still less may men abuse the power
they have over vulnerable children. Other passages such as 1 Corinthians
3:16±17 and 1 Corinthians 6:19±20, which emphasise that our human
bodies are the temple of God's Spirit and that we have been bought with
the price of the blood of Jesus, also constitute arguments against abuse in
any form Ð whether against adults or children.
 170

misunderstanding A third reason given by SchuÈssler Fiorenza is that Christian suffering is

suffering sometimes misunderstood. It is true that Christians are warned in the
New Testament that in the same way that Christ suffered, they will be
called upon to suffer (1 Peter 2:18±23 and Heb 12:1±11). But, this
emphasis on Christians being prepared to suffer has been misused and
understood to mean that victims of violence, whether they are adults or
children, ought not to complain about or to resist acts of violence. This
misunderstanding, together with the emphasis on female submission, has
led to the situation where women believe that they ought not only to
suffer but ought to suffer in silence. Consequently, women, as we saw in
study unit 13, often fail to question, expose or resist violence against
themselves. As mothers, they also often fail to protect their children
against abuse. False views of female submission and suffering, then,
have negative consequences for both women and children.
misunderstanding A fourth argument is that Christian teaching on forgiveness can be
forgiveness misused. For example,
A Christian ethic which stresses an uncritical attitude of love which
bears and endures ``all things'' (1 Cor 13:4±18) and forgives up to
``seventy-seven times'' (Matt 18:21±22) merely serves to ``con-
struct a sacred canopy that compelled victims to accept their
sufferings without resistance'' (Fiorenza 1992:xvi, quoted in
Ackermann 1996:151).

In this regard a distinction needs to be made between genuine repentance

and pseudo (false) repentance. If the person asking for forgiveness (eg a
wife batterer or child abuser) does not intend changing his or her
behaviour, can it be said this is genuine repentance? If people do not
actually repent and ``make things right'', can they even ask for
forgiveness Ð let alone demand it?
inadequate A further problem related to sexual abuse is the way that it is regarded in
pastoral the church and the way in which certain pastors fail to respond
responses adequately to it. Because the leaders of churches are so often silent about
issues of sexual violence and abuse, women who have experienced rape
often prefer to seek help from secular bodies such as Rape Crisis or
POWA (People Opposing Women Abuse) rather than seeking assistance
from their own pastors or priests.
One of the reasons for this is that women, for example, who are being
beaten by their husbands and have sought help from ministers of the
church, are more often than not encouraged to simply submit to their
husbands' abuse and pray for them. Furthermore, these women are often
told that God hates divorce and that they have to simply endure their
fate. In addition, traditional cultural patterns of silence often mean that
women do not expose what is happening within their homes and
therefore they cannot seek help.
Situations such as these raise many questions about pastoral concern. Is
it true that pastors respond in this way to rape victims or to women and
children who are being physically or emotionally abused? To what extent
 171 CGM302-T/1

can it be said that Christian churches in South Africa, or elsewhere in the

world, are both aware of and concerned about instances of sexual
violence Ð in whatever form?
the option for In recent years, liberation theologians have strongly emphasised the
the poor notion of the ``preferential option for the poor''. This means that they
interpret the Bible to mean that God is very often on the side of the poor
and helpless. Several passages in the prophetic books of the Old
Testament as well as Jesus's concern for the ignored and exploited of his
time support this argument. For example, in Isaiah 1:16±17 this
statement occurs:
Wash yourself; make yourselves clean; remove the evil of your
doings from my sight; cease to do evil, learn to do good; seek
justice, rescue the oppressed, defend the orphaned, plead for the
widow.

This text and other texts like it are part of a ``code'' used to stress the
importance of caring for those who are unprotected and powerless.
Therefore this passage, while it certainly does refer to people who are
literally orphans and widows, also refers to people who are unable to
help themselves and are the victims of abuse or wrongdoing on the part
of others. These passages must, therefore, be understood as emphasising
the importance of care for the poor and powerless, no matter what form
this poverty and lack of power may take in any given historical situation.
Certainly, the stress on ``orphans'' refers to all children who are helpless
or vulnerable.

14.6.2 Three steps to break patterns of physical and sexual violence

How, then, can victims become survivors and experience safety and
healing? Denise Ackermann has outlined three important steps that can
lead to breaking these patterns of physical and sexual violence.
break the silence The first step is to break the culture of silence that surrounds the painful
experience of sexual violence. Women (and all other victims) must be
given the opportunity to tell their stories in small groups where they can
be genuinely heard and assisted. In this way, people who have suffered
as a result of sexual violence can begin to deal with this very severe
problem. Silence means that the issue is never brought out into the open
and can, therefore, never ever be dealt with in an adequate way. With
respect to children, churches can assist all those who are working with
children to identify and expose all forms of child abuse.
critique the The second step, as has already been indicated in this study unit, is to
violence of the offer theological critiques of the violence of the powerful, who are often
powerful men, whether this occurs within the society at large or specifically within
the church. The dignity of all people, and the dignity of women and
children in particular, needs to be upheld by the church and to this end
theological misunderstandings need to be exposed and rejected.
 172

discover the trans- The third step towards healing is thus for us to discover for ourselves that
forming power of through the transforming power of the Gospel we can be delivered from
the Gospel lives of abuse and victimisation. Through his ministry and crucifixion,
Jesus Christ clearly demonstrated his awareness of human suffering and
his willingness to suffer extreme abuse on our behalf. Through this
vicarious suffering of Christ, we can realise the depth of God's love for
us. If it is true that through Christ we become a new creation (2
Cor 5:17), and Christ has come to give us life abundant (John 10:10),
then there is a way beyond suffering. Christians, whether they
themselves have been victims of sexual violence or not, must be
enabled to resist violence and experience the life-giving effects of the
gospel of Jesus Christ.

This does not mean that the process of rejecting death and choosing life
is an easy one, particularly because people who have suffered as a result
of sexual violence are very often not in a position to insist on their
human rights. Unless the church can begin to deal with this issue and
genuinely preach and practise the saving and liberating message of the
gospel, there is very little possibility of overcoming violence. Through
the power of the Holy Spirit and the compassion of caring people it is
possible for people who have suffered terrible damage to progressively
experience healing. This message of the deep and powerful healing and
liberation that the gospel of Christ offers ought to be upheld and put into
practice by the church, both to offer genuine protection and healing for
victims and to confront perpetrators with their guilt and sin.
_________________________________________

Activity 14.3

(1) What are the three steps that are outlined above?

(2) How can the church and Christians help to break the silence? What
should they be doing?

(3) Give a theological critique of power and its misuse especially in regard
to women and children.

(4) Describe how God's grace can transform and renew a situation Ð spend
some time praying Ð either for a woman or child whom you know who
has been abused or for someone you read about in the newspaper.

(5) Would you, personally, be prepared to do something about the issues in

study units 13 and 14?
_________________________________________

This study unit and the previous one have dealt with a number of issues
related to the general theme of sexual violence, particularly rape,
battering and child abuse. They have also dealt extensively with the
 173 CGM302-T/1

question of how churches ought to be responding to the high incidence

of sexual violence Ð both in our churches and in our local communities.
_________________________________________

Activity 14.4

(1) What is sexual violence? What forms does it take?

(2) In what ways are the responses of the church to rape, battering and
child abuse inadequate? List at least five.

(3) Write down the theological, ethical and practical resources identified
in study units 13 and 14 that you and many others can draw upon in
combating abuse.

(4) Draw up a plan of action, or project proposal, that you could present to
your church Ð or a small group of concerned people Ð that overcomes
the inadequacies identified in your answer to question (2). It should
include an analysis of the problem, an identification of theological-
ethical resources, and at least five practical steps that need to be
taken.
_________________________________________

Once you have completed this activity, you need to share your feelings
and your proposal with someone else to obtain their response. Consult
someone who can help you in this regard. We also need to remember
that, in dealing with this problem of child abuse, practical strategies are
vital to make the implementation of solutions a reality. Equally important
are compassion and moral courage. Compassion enables us to respond
from the heart and ``come alongside'' victims. Moral courage (based on
moral formation and character) gives us the will to expose and actively
resist injustice and the abuse of power.
 174

STUDY UNIT 15

Aids
OUTCOMES
After working through this study unit, you should be able to:
. explain what AIDS is
. explain how people contract AIDS and what the symptoms of
AIDS are
. give the approximate numbers of people who have already
contracted AIDS
. explain why AIDS has spread so quickly, especially in Africa
. identify what the church can do in response to the AIDS crisis

_________________________________________

Activity 15.1

(1) Can you say what AIDS is?

(2) Do you know someone who has AIDS?

(3) Can you quote recent statistics for the incidence of AIDS in South
Africa?

(4) What emotions does this illness evoke in you?

_________________________________________

15.1 WHAT IS AIDS?

definitions AIDS (the Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome) is a disease which
weakens and destroys the systems of the body which resist sickness. This
is why the words `'Immune Deficiency'' are used. In other words, no one
actually dies from AIDS; people who have AIDS die from a variety of
diseases, such as tuberculosis and pneumonia, because the immune
systems of their bodies are no longer functioning and therefore their
bodies are unable to fight these diseases. A distinction is often made
between what is called ``full-blown'' AIDS, which is the actual disease,
and HIV, which is a virus which affects the immune system of the body
(HIV stands for Human Immuno-Deficiency Virus). This virus enters the
 175 CGM302-T/1

white-blood cells of the body and makes it impossible for the body to
defend itself against illness or disease.
bubonic plague Some people have compared AIDS to the bubonic plague that affected
Europe during the Middle Ages, not because the diseases are similar, but
because of the far-reaching effects of both these diseases. In the 14th
century, 25 million people died in Europe. Bubonic plague caused high
fever, delirium and the formation of buboes (painful swellings of the
lymph glands in the groin and armpits) and was extremely infectious. As
a result of this plague (which was spread by bites from infected rat fleas),
many hundreds of thousands of people died (about one-third of the
population of Europe). The people of the Middle Ages were extremely
frightened of contracting the disease and tended to shun anyone who had
the disease for fear of getting it themselves. In certain instances, modern
people who do not have AIDS respond to those who have contracted
AIDS in a similar way to those people of the Middle Ages who feared
contracting the bubonic plague. They avoid them ``like the plague''.
leprosy Another comparable analogy is that of leprosy which was common in the
time of Jesus. Anyone who contracted leprosy was regarded as an
outcast from society and all lepers had to live in separate areas and were
not permitted to mix with other members of the society. In other words,
we need to realise that many people fear the disease AIDS and because
they do not wish to contract the disease themselves, they tend to shun
other people who have the disease, even if the chances of them
contracting the disease are small. Many have argued that modern-day
Christians, if they are to follow the example of Jesus, ought to care for
AIDS sufferers in a similar way to that in which Jesus cared for the
lepers of his day.

15.2 HOW DO PEOPLE CONTRACT AIDS AND WHAT ARE THE

SYMPTOMS OF AIDS?
how infection There are four main ways in which people can become infected by the
occurs HIV virus which subsequently leads to full-blown AIDS. These include
the following: first, penetrative sex with an infected person (vaginal or
anal sex); secondly, one can contract AIDS after injecting oneself with
an infected needle or syringe; thirdly, one can contract AIDS as a result
of blood transfusions with contaminated blood or organ transplants of
infected tissues or organs; fourthly, infected mothers can pass AIDS on
to their babies before or during birth or even through breast-feeding.
This means one cannot contract AIDS from touching someone who has
AIDS or through having normal contact with people who have AIDS.
AIDS does not travel through the air. One cannot contract it as a result of
AIDS patients' sneezing, by touching an inflicted person, through
mosquito bites, or sitting on toilet seats. Despite these medical facts,
people still greatly fear AIDS and tend to wish to have nothing to do
with people who have contracted AIDS.
 176

stages of the According to Monareng, the stages of AIDS are as follows:

infection
Stage 1: HIV enters the body and hides for six weeks to one year. This
is called the carrier or ``window'' stage.
Stage 2: Antibodies of the virus appear in the blood. A blood test will
reveal the disease, but the person will not feel ill. But they
can still infect others for up to 10 years or more.
Stage 3: Early symptoms may begin:
Ð loss of weight
Ð change in appearance
Ð prolonged fever
Ð weakness
Ð heavy night sweats
Ð stress and anxiety
Ð swollen glands
Ð skin rashes
Ð prolonged diarrhoea

Stage 4: AIDS is now full blown. Serious illnesses take hold, for
example tuberculosis, pneumonia, cancer, brain damage
(Kretzschmar & Richards 1996:160).

AIDS is a fatal disease. Although there are now medicines on the market
that can slow down the rate at which the disease spreads or limit its
contraction (eg by women who have been raped or foetuses whose
mothers have AIDS), there is (at the time of writing) no treatment or
medicine available that can actually cure AIDS.
This means that once one has contracted the HIV virus, there is no cure.
Nor can one be vaccinated against getting AIDS in the same way one can
be vaccinated against polio. Even though medical researchers all over the
world are attempting to find either a cure or a vaccine for AIDS, neither
of these is available at present. This means that once the disease is
contracted, one will get ill over a period and eventually die.
how the disease It is also important to remember, as indicated above in the various stages
spreads of AIDS, that a person who has been infected with the AIDS virus may
spread the virus to other people with whom he or she has sexual contact,
even unknowingly. This is because the disease is not immediately
detectable and people only begin to get the symptoms of illness once the
illness is already in an advanced stage. This means that people who are
already infected may not look ill in any way.
It is also important to remember that AIDS is not a homosexual disease.
It is true that AIDS was first properly identified in male homosexual
communities in the United States, but AIDS is not restricted to
homosexual persons. As indicated elsewhere in this study unit, AIDS is
spread in Africa mainly through heterosexual rather than homosexual
contact. Also, people could contract AIDS through a variety of other
 177 CGM302-T/1

means as already indicated above. In other words, even someone who is

not sexually active could contract AIDS, though the sexually
promiscuous are those most likely to get this disease.

15.3 THE NUMBERS OF PEOPLE WHO HAVE CONTRACTED

AIDS
In the early 1990s it was estimated that more than 10 million people were
infected with the AIDS virus. Of these 6,5 million lived in Africa south
of the Sahara. Now, in 2001, reports from agencies working with AIDS
sufferers estimate that over 40 million people are infected worldwide
(Mail & Guardian June 15, 2001 pg 2). A substantial proportion of these
live in southern Africa.
On the 5th June 2001, Mr Peter Piot (Executive Director of UNAIDS)
reported on both SABC-TV and E-News that 58 million HIV infections
have occured worldwide in the last 20 years. Since 1981, 22 million
deaths have resulted. His organisation estimates that 36 million people
worldwide are in the early stages of HIV/AIDS infection.
A few years ago, a South African newspaper reported that North West
province is amongst the worst AIDS zones in the whole of Africa,
comparable to Uganda in the 1980s when the AIDS epidemic in that
country was at its height. According to this report:
The latest AIDS statistics show that 25 percent of pregnant women
tested in the province are HIV-positive Ð a 17 percent increase in
one year and an estimate which health care workers claim is
conservative (Pretoria News, 3 May 1997:12).

Another newspaper more recently reported that in KwaZulu-Natal, the

most populated province, the rate of infection is 37 percent. It goes on to
say that now more than 4,2 million South Africans have contracted the
disease Ð more than 10 percent of the population. Every day this
country has 1 500 more people infected. In some places, the infection
rate is much higher than this. And the statistics on the extent of the AIDS
epidemic are fairly unreliable. Experts extrapolate on figures from
prenatal testing clinics. Many believe that the number of AIDS cases is
underestimated (Saturday Star, April 29 2000:8).
During 2001, several television broadcasts publicised government and
other reports which estimate that one out of every nine South Africans is
now HIV positive.
These are alarming statistics and ought to make us aware of the
seriousness and urgency of the AIDS problem.

15.4 HOW AND WHY HAS AIDS SPREAD SO QUICKLY?

It has been reported that only a few people are willing to admit that they
are HIV positive for fear of the consequences of this becoming known.
 178

These consequences include being attacked by members of the

community for having ``dirty blood''. Another reason people do not
admit that they have AIDS is that it would make it harder for them to get
a job. Others fear discrimination at work or even losing their jobs. Other
problems are that the training of workers and staff at health clinics to
deal with the problem is not being efficiently managed and there are no
international education efforts to help health workers in South Africa to
deal effectively with the AIDS crisis. Although health workers at a
national and local level may be doing their best, this may not be enough
to stop the spread of AIDS.
Some of the reasons for the rapid spread of AIDS in North West province
(and in other provinces such as KwaZulu-Natal) are the following:
. There is a lot of movement between South Africa and Botswana where
levels of infection are high.
. Casinos such as Sun City attract prostitution.
. The platinum mines which make use of migrant labour have added to
the problem of promiscuity.
. The major problem is that of ignorance. Local people were not using
condoms, even though they are freely available, because they do not
realise the need to use them or how to use them. Eighty percent of the
population is rural and many are not educated. They are unaware of
how AIDS is contracted or how the problem of AIDS can be dealt
with effectively.
. In addition, the traditional practice of ``scarification'', where the
traditional healer makes tiny punctures or superficial incisions in the
skin with a razor blade or knife before rubbing in muthi (medicine), is
dangerous if the razor or knife is not properly cleaned or sterilised.

It would appear that, despite a variety of educational campaigns

conducted by the Department of Health and other groups, many in South
Africa are still ignorant about what AIDS is and how AIDS is contracted.
This ignorance spells doom for many in our country.
Unlike many other countries in the West, in sub-Saharan Africa AIDS is
mainly spread through heterosexual rather than homosexual contact.
This means that the reasons for people contracting HIV/AIDS cannot be
restricted to matters such as homosexual relationships.
But why is it that AIDS has spread so quickly? The reasons:
. Poverty. Willem Saayman argues in an article that AIDS cannot be
discussed in isolation from social issues such as poverty and migrant
labour (Villa-Vicencio & de Gruchy 1994:174±177). The United
Nations Development programme argues that poverty aggravates
other factors that heighten the susceptibility of especially women. If
women are economically dependent they have little control over
circumstances.
. Prostitution and migrant labour. In Africa, one of the areas where
AIDS has spread the quickest is on the Pan-African highway that links
 179 CGM302-T/1

Kenya to Southern Africa. Many of the lorry drivers on this important

economic route have been infected by AIDS and as they travel from
area to area moving goods by truck, they spread the disease further.
This route is scattered with a number of cafes, hotels and brothels.
Women working as prostitutes on this route may contract the HIV
virus and then take it back to their tribal village or the urban area in
which they live.
Thus it is that, as a result of prostitution, infected women or men pass
the disease on to their partners. As a result of migrant labour, infected
husbands pass this sickness on to their wives when they return home
from a period of labour in another area. In relation to migrant labour,
which has been practised in Southern Africa at least since the
discovery of diamonds in the 1860s, these long periods of enforced
separation between husband and wife have led to open sexual
relationships in many cases. These open sexual relationships include
migrant labourers who are engaged in extramarital sexual activity
while working on the mines or who have a second wife ''in town'' in
addition to a first wife in a rural area. It is obvious that if a man
contracts AIDS, he will take it back to his home village.
. Militarism and armed conflict. Wars and civil violence have
contributed to situations of increased susceptibility. It is not clearly
documented but in those countries where there has been ongoing
violence there has also been a sharp increase in the numbers of AIDS
infections.
. Gender and AIDS. Low incomes push a number of women into
situations where sex is coerced in exchange for small cash or
payments in kind. Women often have less education than men and so
find it more difficult to get work. Women are also more involved in
the care of those who are sick and dying with AIDS and this has added
to their workload, often leaving them less time to work, especially in
the case of rural women who might otherwise work their own
smallholdings. If women are economically dependent on their
husbands they are not in a strong position and so may be unable to
ask them to wear condoms or to refuse sex Ð even when they know
their husbands may be putting them at risk. The skin of a woman's
vagina is delicate and tears fairly easily especially during dry sex and
this means the virus can enter her bloodstream. This makes it far more
likely for women to be infected by men than for women to infect men.
 180

Study illustration 15.1. What does it say about the connection between
gender and AIDS?
ILLUSTRATION 15.1
Custom and religion may deny women the right to insist on safe sex
practices Ð even when they know their partners are infected with a
sexually transmitted disease.

COME ON, HONEY-LET'S NOT

SPOIL A LOVELY DAY
WITH NONSENSE TALK
ABOUT CONDOMS.
I'M YOUR PARTNER -
WHY SHOULD I USE THEM?

Source: Brimohanlall in Pillemer and Shackleton (1999:66)

how to combat Saayman has argued that in order to solve the problem of AIDS in an
AIDS African context, it is vital to make use of African emphases on
community and not just rely on Western medical information. He uses
the example of the Salvation Army's hospital in Chikankata:
The programme entails home-based care and prevention. Every
patient who is diagnosed as HIV positive (often in antenatal clinics)
or has already developed AIDS in the acute form, is admitted to
home-based care. The whole family is informed about the
consequences of the disease, and counselled by a team of trained
counsellors, who visit members at home. In this way the sexual
contacts of the patients are followed up and, in the community
context, persuaded to go to the hospital for testing. Eventually the
whole community in which the family lives are involved in the
programme of prevention, decision-making and care. The aim of
this programme is to raise community-awareness of the problems
associated with AIDS, and the need for changes in sexual
behaviour. The aim is to empower people to develop a sense of
collective responsibility for dealing with AIDS, and instill the
conviction that something positive can be done about this life-
threatening disease (Villa-Vicencio & de Gruchy 1994:175).

The only really effective way of dealing with AIDS is to promote a

policy of closed sexual relationships in our African and other societies. If
sexual partners remain faithful to each other, there is very little chance of
anyone contracting AIDS. The growing promiscuity and permissiveness
that characterise sexual relationships in Africa and other countries means
 181 CGM302-T/1

that sexually transmitted diseases such as AIDS flourish. The use of

condoms is supported by many in the community, and particularly by
health-care workers, for those who are unwilling to practise their sexual
activity within closed sexual relationships.
_________________________________________

Activity 15.2

ILLUSTRATION 15.2

Source: Saturday Star (October 2000:19)

Read the following article about a condom distributor.

A young woman with a box full of condoms is having fun on the rocky
 182

streets of Soshanguve, north of Pretoria, handing out free condoms to

passers-by.
It is Saturday morning, and most people are still suffering from their Friday
hangovers. As the woman enters a spaza shop to give out condoms, she
is mobbed by a group of young men claiming that they use Lovers Plus
condoms because the free ones are cheap and burst easily.
She becomes increasingly demoralised after hearing from another
onlooker that condoms are sometimes used as balloons. She eventually
gives up, leaving most of the condoms lying on the street.
The condom distributor's experience is indicative of the ignorance that
characterises some young South Africans' understanding of HIV/AIDS
and ways of preventing the spread of the disease. According to a snap
survey by the Mail & Guardian, it would appear the state's education
campaigns on the disease still have a long way to go.
Source: Mail & Guardian (September 1±7 2000:10)

(1) What are some of the problems the condom distributor experienced?

(2) Study illustration 15.2 which is part of a government campaign against

AIDS.

(3) The government has adopted a policy of ABC: ''Abstinence, Be faithful,

Condomise''. In what ways might this campaign help to prevent AIDS?

(4) Do you think the churches should support the full campaign or just the
A and B; that is should the church teach abstinence for the unmarried
and faithfulness for the married? Should the churches oppose or
support the distribution of condoms?

(5) Do you have any other suggestions for combating the spread of AIDS?
_________________________________________

15.5 WHAT CAN THE CHURCH DO TO MAKE PEOPLE MORE

AWARE OF AIDS?
_________________________________________

Activity 15.3

Read the following story:

Shortly after her wedding Thandi inherited two orphaned children from her
sister-in-law who died of AIDS. Now a second sister-in-law is dying of
AIDS and her sickly baby has constant diarrhoea. What bothers Thandi is
the fact that as a trained nurse she is equipped with knowledge that might
help in the situation, but because she has no children of her own, she
dares not open her mouth. If she says there is something wrong with the
baby she will be accused of jealousy. She does not know how to talk
about her fears of cleaning up the infectious faecal matter that has leaked
through the nappies. She keeps quiet. Perhaps she will be the next sister-
in-law to go down in silence in that home.
 183 CGM302-T/1

(Based on an extract from an article in the Mail & Guardian [August 11±17
2000:28])

(1) What are your reactions to this brief story?

(2) What are Thandi's problems?

(3) Is there any way in which the church could help?

_________________________________________

A number of strategies can be followed by individuals and churches to

combat HIV/AIDS. Some of these are listed below:
information and One major area of involvement for the church is that of information
awareness gathering and dissemination. Only if people are properly informed and
involved in discussions about the cause and prevention of AIDS, can
they be in a position to act decisively in relation to this ever-increasing
epidemic. It is time to break the taboo of silence on discussions about sex
in general and sexually transmitted diseases in particular. If parents and
other responsible adults do not inform each other as well as young
people about these matters, the community will gain distorted and often
incorrect information about AIDS.
provide support Instead of being frightened of and negative towards AIDS sufferers, it is
important for the church to offer friendship and care to those who are
afflicted and provide support for the sufferers and their immediate and
extended families. Where many members of society are rejecting AIDS
sufferers, it is important for the church to offer counselling and show
pastoral concern for sufferers.
practical It is also important for the various structures and activities of the church
initiatives such as youth groups, the Sunday service, women's groups, Saturday
seminars, rallies and the like, to be used to teach people about Christian
approaches to human sexuality. It is also important for the church to
teach biblical truths concerning the immorality and dangers of premarital
and extramarital sex and emphasise the importance of abstinence or
sexual faithfulness. Even governments (eg Zambia and Zimbabwe) have
pleaded with churches to exert their influence by preaching ``no sex
before marriage'' and by promoting moral values and, in particular,
marital faithfulness.
If teachers of young people and parents within the church context speak
about sexuality and communicate with their children, these people will
be well equipped to deal with the ever-growing problem of AIDS. It is
also possible for the church to invite health workers to address church
members on these subjects. In all these ways the church can provide
education on both general sexual matters and AIDS to church members
and the community at large. With their emphasis on sexual morality,
churches can also encourage members of the community to avoid
contracting sexual diseases by remaining faithful to their marriage
partners.
faithfulness The apostle Paul raised the issues of mutuality and equality in sexual
 184

relationships and emphasised the importance of fidelity or faithfulness to

one's sexual partner:
But because of cases of sexual immorality, each man should have
his own wife and each woman her own husband. The husband
should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to
her husband. For the wife does not have authority over her own
body, but the husband does; likewise the husband does not have
authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one
another except perhaps by agreement for a set time, to devote
yourselves to prayer, and then come together again so that Satan
may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control (1 Cor 7:2±
5).

This quotation stresses the importance of marital and sexual fidelity.

Thus one main area in which the church can play a constructive role in
relation to AIDS is related to the dissemination of information that is
relevant to the prevention of AIDS, such as the importance of
faithfulness.

5.6 AIDS AND PASTORAL CONSIDERATIONS

pastoral care As indicated above, the other main area in which the church, in my view,
ought to be involved in the AIDS crisis relates to the care of AIDS
sufferers. Where many people fear AIDS, it is all the more important for
the church to encourage the proper care of AIDS sufferers. This can be
done both by supporting existing efforts on the part of the government
and health workers, and also by churches establishing and maintaining
care facilities where AIDS patients and their families can be counselled
and supported. In short, churches need to ask themselves the question:
`'In what way can the love of Christ be expressed in the midst of the
AIDS crisis?''
Daniel Louw (1990:37±50) sets out a number of very helpful guidelines
in an article entitled ``Ministering and counselling the person with
AIDS''.
a terminal illness Louw points out that because AIDS is a fatal disease, the AIDS patient is
terminally ill and therefore pastoral care givers need to have a thorough
knowledge not only of the disease itself but also of a dying person's
basic needs. Pastors need to deal with the needs of the dying and also to
help the AIDS sufferer to deal with the biological and psychological
implications of AIDS.
biological and psy- On a biological level, the AIDS sufferer needs to face pain and the fear
cho-social of disfigurement. This is because it is common for what is called
dimensions Kaposi's sarcoma to spread all over the body. Kaposi's sarcoma are sores
that spread across the skin in the form of a dark skin tumour.
The psycho-social dimension includes the anxiety and depression
experienced by AIDS sufferers as a result of their fear of rejection by
 185 CGM302-T/1

their family and community. Louw goes on to say that because AIDS is a
contagious disease, the irrational fear of contracting AIDS by casual
contact makes it difficult for health workers and care providers to
respond to AIDS patients in a normal manner. This means that the
attitude and approach of a health or pastoral worker is very important.
moral issues Thirdly, says Louw, because AIDS is associated with promiscuity and
sexuality, it cannot be treated simply as a medical problem. Even though
some patients do not contract AIDS as a result of sexual contact, the vast
majority do, and so issues such as guilt, sexuality, responsibility and
choice cannot be avoided in the pastoral process.
Louw (1990:43±45) provides the following guidelines to help the pastor
in planning a ministerial strategy for AIDS sufferers:
(1) Be prepared to become involved with the patient as a unique person.
(2) Provide practical help.
(3) Pray with, and for, the person with AIDS.
(4) Encourage hope in the patient.
(5) Minister compassionately and sensitively.
(6) Make contact with the family.
(7) Provide care for the care givers.
(8) Educate the community.

Louw (1990:50) concludes his discussion on counselling AIDS patients

by saying:
The church as a community of believers ... must provide the kinds
of services neighbours provide for each other. The ethical principle:
to love one another, is the first step towards breaking down the fears
about AIDS.

15.7 SOME OF THE ETHICAL ISSUES RAISED BY AIDS

condoms In his discussion of the ethical issues raised by AIDS for Christians,
Nicolson (1994:242) asks the following question: ``Should churches
promote the use of condoms to contain the spread of AIDS?'' As already
argued in this chapter, Nicolson agrees that churches must encourage
premarital chastity as well as marital faithfulness. However, he goes on
to point out that most medical aid workers argue that the solution lies in
the extensive use of condoms. But, as several writers have pointed out,
condoms will not stop the spread of AIDS:
Many men will refuse to wear them ... prostitutes, desperate for
money, will be unable to insist on their use. Wives in traditional
African homes are culturally unable to make or even mention such a
demand and will be unable to insist that husbands returning from
town employment must use condoms ... condoms do break, and it is
misleading to regard the use of condoms as ``safe sex''. Rather, it
may be called ``safer sex'' ... condoms are a technical, mechanistic,
Western-type response to a health problem. What is needed is a
 186

more holistic, personal, community-involving model (Nicolson

1994:242).

It is for these reasons that Nicolson (1994:243) concludes:

Churches should, therefore, vigorously support the view that while
the promotion of condoms is important in the short term, it is
neither the final, nor the only, nor even the best, solution to AIDS.
AIDS forces on us a holistic programme of value creation, of the
promotion of stable family life, creating conditions under which
such family life can prosper, combatting conditions which lead to
multiple sexual partners, creating a climate of mutual support and
concern, etc.

guilt and One important question raised by AIDS is that of guilt and innocence.
innocence Not everyone who has contracted the disease has contracted it as a result
of promiscuous behaviour. So while certain people are certainly in the
high-risk group (eg prostitutes and those people who have a succession
of sexual partners), other people may also contract AIDS. There are
those who contract AIDS as a result of infected blood. There are
innocent spouses who contract AIDS as a result of the sexual
promiscuity of an unfaithful marriage partner. Can one blame the
``innocent'' party? Can it be said that they are guilty or that they have
done something wrong? Children are also innocent victims of this
disease (I return to this point below).
privacy Another issue raised is that of the right of the infected person to privacy.
If, for example, medical doctors discover that a man has contracted
AIDS but his wife has not, should they respect the right of privacy of the
infected husband or should they inform the wife that her husband carries
the HIV virus? If they maintain the right of privacy of the husband, they
are wronging the wife because she will almost certainly contract AIDS at
some stage. Thus, we need to ask what are human rights in relation to the
AIDS crisis.
A number of medical problems related to doctor-patient confidentiality
(or privacy) are raised by AIDS. Thus, Ronald Nicolson (1994:227±244)
asks a number of important questions:
. Should doctors be statutorily required to report individuals who are
sero-positive (infected by the HIV virus)?
. Should those who are found to be HIV-positive at least be forced to
disclose the names of partners to the authorities?
. Do the authorities, once they have identified an individual as HIV-
positive, have a duty themselves to disclose this to any partners?
. Are doctors and other health professionals ethically entitled to refuse
to treat AIDS patients, or to use such stringent precautions that the
quality of care is lowered?
. May babies of sero-positive women be aborted?
. Do health authorities have the right to test the blood of people without
their knowledge or consent?
 187 CGM302-T/1

In seeking to answer questions such as these, we need to ask ourselves

whether the personal right to privacy can outweigh (ie be regarded as
more important) the rights of others in our family and society.
In addition to these ethical questions raised for doctors and other medical
authorities, other parties such as governments, employers and insurance
companies also need to face the ethical issues raised by AIDS (Nicolson
1994:228±239):
. Should the State compulsorily test everybody for the HIV virus?
. Should the State compulsorily test at least all ``at risk'' people for the
HIV virus?
. Should immigrants and migrant workers be tested and deported or
refused entry if found to be HIV-positive?
. Do employers have the right to insist on tests for prospective and
current employees and to be informed of the result?
. May medical aid policies limit or refuse treatment to those suffering
from AIDS?
. Is the State obliged to pay the treatment costs of people with AIDS?
. Do insurers have the right to insist on tests, and to refuse cover to
those who test HIV-positive?
. Do they have the right to refuse cover to those who subsequently die
of AIDS?

These questions mean that issues of personal and government

responsibility need to be noted. Can an individual expect an insurance
company, medical aid, employer or government to take responsibility for
an illness they may have contracted through a promiscuous lifestyle?
What about those innocent people who have contracted AIDS as a result
of the negligence or promiscuity of others?
marriage and A fourth issue raised by AIDS is whether it would be regarded as right
AIDS for a married couple to divorce on discovering that one of them has
contracted AIDS? Or is this a case of ``enduring through sickness and in
health'' as is often stated in the marriage formula? If this couple were to
stay together, it would mean that no sexual intercourse could take place
without the use of a condom and no further children could be born to this
married couple. Another complex issue is whether one particular spouse
can demand that a condom be used if he or she suspects that the other
partner has been unfaithful to the marriage and may have contracted
AIDS. Would it be possible, for example, for a rural woman living far
from the city to insist that her husband use a condom during intercourse
when he returns from work in the urban areas? Or would such a woman
simply be beaten up for her impertinence and impudence?
What about the situation where a prospective married couple discover
that one partner has contracted AIDS? If you were a pastor in such a
situation, would you advise the couple not to get married or would you
suggest that they discuss the issue fully before deciding whether to
continue with the marriage? If they were to get married, the same
circumstances would apply as has been discussed above, namely no
unprotected sex and no possibility of children.
 188
_________________________________________

Activity 15.4

Read the following extract, from Brimohanlall in Pillemer and Shackleton

(1996:95).

In the Durban High Court, a woman sued the man who deliberately
infected her with HIV and won her case. Because it was a civil and not a
criminal trial, the law has not changed and it is still not a crime to have
unprotected sex when you know you are HIV positive. Women's
organisations are concerned that such a law would affect women, rather
than the men who infect them, since it is women who most often know
their HIV status Ð because they are tested when pregnant. It is also of
concern that HIV positive women may be prosecuted under such a law for
passing on the infection to their child during pregnancy.
The following people are involved in this case:

an HIV-positive woman

an HIV-positive man

other men

other women

babies born to HIV-infected parents

(1) Note what problems face each of these people.

(2) What do you see as the reasons for these problems?

(3) Do you think it should become a crime to have unprotected sex if you
know you are HIV positive?

(4) Women are often not in a position to refuse sex Ð even if they know
they are HIV positive. What could the possible implications of this be?

(5) What attitudes lead to a person deliberately infecting another person

with AIDS?

(6) What attitudes need changing and how could this be done?

(7) Would this kind of scenario mean that a couple has a right to divorce?

(8) Is divorce under these circumstances going against the marriage vows
to remain together in sickness and in health?
_________________________________________

children and AIDS A fifth moral question has to do with the innocent children born within a
family of AIDS sufferers. Children born before their mother contracted
AIDS will obviously not contract the disease. However, if their parents
die as a result of the disease, the children will end up as orphans
dependent on the care of the extended family and, if there is no one to
care for them, they will be cast out on the street. Another tragic result of
AIDS is that some children are abandoned shortly after birth because
both they and their mother have the HIV virus. Orphanages are springing
up in many parts of the world, not least in South Africa, where members
 189 CGM302-T/1

of religious communities, nurses, social workers, and other caring people

are looking after large numbers of abandoned children. What is the
responsibility of parents, the community and the churches in this regard?
What would constitute proper care for AIDS sufferers?
These few comments have indicated the many ethical problems related to
AIDS. In terms of norms and principles (deontology), AIDS is wrong in
the sense that the majority of people contract it as a result of sexual
promiscuity. But, as argued above, some AIDS sufferers are victims of
the wrong-doing of other people. They had no say in the matter and
cannot be held morally responsible for the fact that they have contracted
AIDS.
In terms of teleological ethical criteria (eg consequences) we can note
that the effects of AIDS for individuals and the community are extreme
and disastrous. Thousands of people are already sick or dead and more
thousands, even millions, are likely to follow in their footsteps. We
cannot bury our heads in the sand like ostriches and hope the problem
will go away. Only wise, dedicated and morally sound efforts will avert a
moral and medical disaster.
_________________________________________

Activity 15.5

Think about your culture. What are the beliefs of your culture regarding
sex? Would you say any of the following beliefs would fit in your culture?

. Males are biologically programmed to need sexual relations regularly.

. Males are biologically programmed to need sexual relations with more

than one woman.

. Sex is necessary, natural and an expression of love.

. If one does not have sex one is not `'normal''.

. Failure to consummate a relationship is a lack of love.

. To use a condom is a sign of mistrust.

. To use a condom means that one indulges in casual sex.

. Men should control the sexual encounter.

. One should not talk about sex with one's sexual partner Ð it must just
happen.

. Sex in marriage is part of the deal and should happen whenever the
husband demands it.

. One can exchange sex for material things and money Ð `'gifts for sex''.

(1) Which of these beliefs make it more difficult to stop the spread of
AIDS?

(2) List some alternative beliefs you would like to see regarding the sexual
culture? For example:

. One should wait till marriage before having sex.

 190

. Both partners must want sex Ð it must be a mutual desire and

decision.
_________________________________________

This study unit has briefly highlighted some of the key medical facts and
moral issues relevant to AIDS. Are you able to summarise these key
medical facts and their moral implications for yourself?
_________________________________________

Activity 15.6

(1) Imagine you are a school principal, shop steward, employer, pastor or
NGO leader. Using one of these roles, sketch a plan of action to inform
and activate your teachers, learners, workers, members or fellow
citizens.

(2) Explain what steps you would follow and say why you think your solution
is a workable one.
_________________________________________

It is becoming increasingly clear to people all over the world, and not
least in South Africa, that AIDS is a threatening and alarming personal,
family and societal issue. I trust that some of the information included in
this study unit will have helped to equip you to be a resource person in
your church and community.
 191 CGM302-T/1

STUDY UNIT 16

Spirituality, love and

character formation
OUTCOMES
After working through this study unit, you should be able to:
. explain the connection between spirituality, love and character
formation
. evaluate the relevance of spirituality to sexuality Ð both in terms
of theological belief and practical lifestyle
. assess the extent to which your spirituality affects your sexuality
and vice versa

16.1 SPIRITUALITY
definition of It is important to begin with a definition of what constitutes spirituality
spirituality or, as the term is used in this subsection, holistic spirituality. This is
because there are several definitions of spirituality, some of which are
concerned simply with a privatised and individualistic understanding of
the Christian gospel. Other approaches, however, are broader and more
socially aware:
Christian spirituality has to do with the experience that our human
spirits have of God as Spirit. As we are ``God-breathed'' creatures
(Gen 2:7), we are not complete if we are not in relationship with
God. This spirituality is holistic in the sense that it has to do with
the whole of life. The life of the spirit is inextricably linked to all of
life; it is not lived in a separate compartment. Thus, our experience
of God needs to be lived out in the world which God has created.
Spirituality is not merely inner feelings; it involves how we
experience God and how we integrate this experience with the
attitudes and actions that characterise the rest of our lives
(Kretzschmar 1995b:32±33).

Because spirituality is essential to the Christian faith and because

spirituality involves every aspect of our being, there is an intimate
relationship between spirituality and sexuality. We cannot separate our
self-perception or our relationships with others from our spirituality:
Spirituality, then, involves commitment and the will as well as our
 192

beliefs, outlooks and activities, all of which are to be rooted in

Christ and reflected in our every-day lives. A holistic spirituality,
then, involves a deeper communion with God, a greater understan-
ding of ourselves, and a commitment to live according to the will of
God in every sphere of our existence (Kretzschmar 1995b:33).

the shadow-self Many classical and contemporary writers on spirituality have spoken of
the need for individuals to face what is often called the ``shadow-self'',
that is the self we ourselves are afraid of and that we do not want others
to know about (see Hudson 1995:59±69). The shadow self is often the
hidden self, the self that has motives, desires and intentions which are
evil. It is a self which we seek to suppress but it manages to influence,
even control, much of what we do precisely because we do not
acknowledge or deal with its power. Sometimes we even think, foolishly,
that God does not know about our ``shadow-selves''.
But if we can find the courage to come to Christ as we actually are,
we can begin to more fully experience the forgiveness, growth,
healing and empowerment that Christ brings to individual persons.
We need to be delivered from our sins, fears, and pain and to
become whole and mature persons (Eph 4:1±32) ... . This means
that we need to investigate, not simply reject, the insights of
psychology. The call of God towards wholeness includes the human
soul's painful journey towards self-discovery and healing
(Kretzschmar 1995b:37).

the three Elsewhere I have discussed the model of the ``three journeys'' that
journeys illustrate the need for a balanced and wide-ranging understanding of the
Christian life (Kretzschmar 1995b:45±54). The three journeys include:
the inner journey, the shared journey and the outer journey. This model is
reflected in illustration 16.1.
The inner journey can be summed up as a ``call to life''. This means that
in our inner journey we seek to develop a greater understanding of God
and move towards a deeper relationship with God. The inner journey
also encompasses the need to develop our relationship with our true
selves and increasingly to deny and overcome our sinful selves. As we
develop a better understanding of ourselves, it is possible also to have a
deeper experience of God. In other words, the inner journey is a call to
life in terms of a deeper understanding of ourselves, an experience of
God being at work in us, drawing us away from our fallen sinful self
towards the true self that God wishes to see expressed in our
personalities and lives.
The shared journey is a ``call to community''. This involves the calling
of Christians to experience genuine and honest fellowship in the church.
Christians often talk about fellowship rather than actually experiencing
it. Fellowship only really takes place when we share our lives with each
other in a deep, open and honest way.
 193 CGM302-T/1

ILLUSTRATION 16.1
The three journeys

Inner Journey
A call to Life
Towards God
Towards our true selves
Deeper experience of God
Better understanding of ourselves

Outer
Journey
Shared Journey A call to service
Call to Community This is a journey in relation
Christians called to to the world around us.
fellowship in the It involves a broad understanding
church of the mission of the Church

Source: Kretzschmar & Hoffmeister (1995:46)

The outer journey involves a ``call to service''. This is a journey in

relation to the world around us and it requires us to develop a broad
understanding of the mission or task of the church and to live out this
understanding of the church. The call to service goes beyond
proclamation. It includes both words and deeds. It is also a call to
practical involvement in our world, so as to enable us to live out the
gospel we preach. ``Faith without works'', says James, ``is dead''
(Jas 5:17b).
the effect of the These three journeys need to be pursued simultaneously by individual
three journeys Christians as well as by the church as a whole. If one or more of the
journeys is neglected, a reduced and unbalanced rather than a holistic
spirituality is the result. These three journeys are linked in the following
way:
For the effect of being loved by God is to enable us to begin to love
God in return. And the experience of being loved by God enables us
to accept and love ourselves. And this, in turn, opens us to being
able to begin to learn to love each other and serve the world for
which Christ died. By way of analogy, much the same can be said
of forgiveness, if we truly experience God's forgiveness and forgive
ourselves, we are much more likely to forgive others and have
compassion on them. Finding God cannot be separated from finding
each other. Thus, if we genuinely wish to seek God's face, we
 194

cannot do so without seeking the face of our brothers and sisters.

And if we genuinely love each other, we can go out to serve God in
a rich, varied and fruitful way (Kretzschmar 1995b:53).

What, you may ask, has this to do with sexuality? As I pointed out
above, an experience of our sexuality involves our self-perception, our
perception of others and our relationships with others, as well as our
relationship with God. If this is so, then it is clear that sexuality is an
inextricable part of who we are. Simultaneously, spirituality has to do
also with our relationship with God, our relationship with ourselves, and
our relationships with others. Unless our own sexuality is experienced in
a constructive and integrated manner, it will have a very detrimental
effect on our spirituality. Conversely, if our spirituality is imbalanced or
dishonest, it will have a negative effect on our sexuality.
It is in the context of our walk with God and each other that we can own
up to the brokenness, pain and damage sin has wrought in our lives.
Sinners who genuinely repent and make restitution can be forgiven.
Those sinned against can experience healing. Sin against God, ourselves
and each other, including sexual sin, can be forgiven if it is
acknowledged and confessed. Through God's grace we can be forgiven
and sent out to ``sin no more''. We can be delivered from the crippling
effects of both sexual guilt or sexual abuse through the salvation offered
by Christ. Nevertheless, our broken lives and relationships cannot be
healed in an instant, but only as we continue to walk according to the
Spirit and not according to our sinful natures. In our sexual experience,
as in any other sphere of life, we are called to be ``Christ-followers'', to
use Trevor Hudson's (1995:15) memorable phrase. Christian faith is not
mere belief; it is to be lived out in all the dimensions of our lives.
Study the following helpful chart which explains what moral agency is.
Morality encompasses both right decisions and good people. The ethics
of ``being'' and ``doing'' cannot be separated.
TABLE 16.1
MORAL AGENCY
Character Decision making
formation and action
_________________________________________________________
the good person right choice
and the good society and action
moral virtue moral value and
moral obligation
the ethics of being the ethics of doing
Moral vision
Source: Birch & Rasmussen (1989:39)
 195 CGM302-T/1

At the end of study unit 14, the point was made that, in order for
individuals to be able to act against injustice in an effective and
compassionate way, they require moral courage. (They also require a
clear understanding of both the problems and possible solutions.) But
moral courage needs to be based on moral character, and moral character
does not come into being automatically upon conversion Ð it needs to
be developed and nurtured. In other words, moral formation needs to
take place. Moral virtues, such as goodness and honesty, need to be
cultivated. Moral convictions about what is right and wrong need to be
strengthened. The ability to ``speak the truth in love'' (Eph 4:15) is a
sign of Christian maturity. But how many Christians exhibit a passion for
justice and the moral courage to speak out when it is necessary?
Furthermore, to what degree has love been cultivated and deepened in
our lives and experience? Let us now examine the nature of love.

16.2 WHAT IS LOVE?

To begin with, we need to ask how love can be defined and what the
different forms of love are. Included below is a long excerpt from
Bernard of Clairvaux's (1090±1153) treatise On the love of God. Bernard
was a great leader in the history of the church and spent much of his life
in the monastery at Clairvaux where he supervised his fellow monks and
wrote a number of important theological works. He is recognised as one
of the spiritual and moral ``giants'' in the Christian tradition. In the
discussion below he outlines his famous ``Four Degrees of Love'':
Please note: Bernard wrote 1 000 years before the Christian church
learnt to use gender-inclusive language with reference to God and
Christian believers.

Excerpt from ``On the love of God''

1. Why God Should Be Loved
You ask me, ``Why should God be loved?'' I answer: the reason for loving
God is God himself. And why should God be loved for his own sake?
Simply because no one could be more justly loved than God, no one
deserves our love more ...
God is entitled to our love. Why? Because he gave himself for us despite
the fact that we are so undeserving. What better could he have given? If
we ask why God is entitled to our love, we should answer, ``Because he
first loved us.'' God is clearly deserving of our love especially if we
consider who he is that loves us, who we are that he loves, and how much
he loves us.
2. The First Degree of Love: Love of Self for Self's Sake
Love is a natural human affection. It comes from God. Hence the first and
greatest commandment is, ``Thou shalt love the Lord thy God.'' But human
nature is weak and therefore compelled to love itself and serve itself first.
In the human realm people love themselves for their own sake. This is
planted within us for who ever hated his own self?
But if this love of ourselves becomes too lavish, it will overflow its natural
boundaries through excessive love of pleasure. People can easily
 196

become slaves to the soul's enemy: lust. This love of self is held in check
by the command to love our neighbour. If we cannot love our neighbour
because of our love of self, then we must restrain our lusts and give to our
neighbour's needs. Your love will then be temperate when you take from
yourself and give to your neighbour.
But what will you do if your own needs are not met? Will you look to God to
meet your needs? God promises that those who seek first the kingdom
and his righteousness will have all things added unto them. God promises
that to those who restrict themselves and give to their neighbour, he will
give whatever is necessary. Seeking first the kingdom means to prefer to
bear the yoke of modesty and restraint rather than allow sin to reign in
your mortal body.
In order to love our neighbour we must see that God is the cause of our
love. How can we have a pure love for our neighbour if we do not love him
in God? And you cannot love your neighbour unless you love God. God
must be loved first in order that we may love our neighbour in God.
3. The Second Degree of Love: Love of God for Self's Sake
... When we live free from trouble we are happy, but in our pride we may
conclude that we are responsible for our security. Then, when we suffer
some calamity, some storm in our lives, we turn to God and ask his help,
calling upon him in times of trouble. This is how we who only love
ourselves first begin to love God. We will begin to love God even if it is for
our own sake. We love God because we have learned that we can do all
things through him, and without him we can do nothing.
4. The Third Degree of Love: Love of God for God's Sake
In the first degree of love we love ourselves for our own sake. In the
second degree of love we love God for our own sake, chiefly because he
has provided for us and rescued us. But if trials and tribulations continue
to come upon us, every time God brings us through, even if our hearts
were made of stone, we will begin to be softened because of the grace of
the Rescuer. Thus, we begin to love God not merely for our own sakes,
but for himself.
In order to arrive at this we must continually go to God with our needs and
pray. In those prayers the grace of God is tasted, and by frequent tasting it
is proved to us how sweet the Lord is. Thus it happens that once God's
sweetness has been tasted, it draws us to the pure love of God more than
our needs compel us to love him. Thus we begin to say, ``We now love
God, not for our necessity, for we ourselves have tasted and know how
sweet the Lord is.''
When we begin to feel this, it will not be hard to fulfil the second
commandment: to love our neighbour. For those who truly love God in this
way also love the things of God. Also, it becomes easier to be obedient in
all of the commands of God. We begin to love God's commands and
embrace them.
This love is pure because it is disinterested (ie not offered in order to
obtain something). It is pure because it is not merely in our words that we
begin to serve, but in our actions. We love because we are loved. We care
for others because Jesus cares for us.
We have obtained this degree when we can say, ``Give praise to the Lord
for he is good, not because he is good to me, but because he is good.''
Thus we truly love God for God's sake and not for our own. The third
degree of love is the love by which God is now loved for his very self.
 197 CGM302-T/1

5. The Fourth Degree of Love: Love for Self for God's Sake
Blessed are we who experience the fourth degree of love wherein we love
ourselves for God's sake. Such experiences are rare and come only for a
moment. In a manner of speaking, we lose ourselves as though we did not
exist, utterly unconscious of ourselves and emptied of ourselves.
If for even a moment we experience this kind of love, we will then know the
pain of having to return to this world and its obligations as we are recalled
from the state of contemplation. In turning back to ourselves we will feel as
if we are suffering as we return into the mortal state in which we were
called to live.
But during those moments we will be of one mind with God, and our wills
in one accord with God. The prayer, ``Thy will be done,'' will be our prayer
and our delight ...
6. Entering into the First, Second, and Third Degrees of Love
What are the four degrees of love? First, we love ourselves for our own
sake; since we are unspiritual and of the flesh we cannot have an interest
in anything that does not relate to ourselves. When we begin to see that
we cannot subsist by ourselves, we begin to seek God for our own sakes.
This is the second degree of love; we love God, but only for our own
interests. But if we begin to worship and come to God again and again by
meditating, by reading, by prayer, and by obedience, little by little God
becomes known to us through experience. We enter into the sweet
familiarity with God, and by tasting how sweet the Lord is we pass into the
third degree of love so that now we love God, not for our own sake, but for
himself. It should be noted that in this third degree we will stand still for a
very long time.
7. Can We Attain the Fourth Degree of Love?
I am not certain that the fourth degree of love in which we love ourselves
only for the sake of God may be perfectly attained in this life. But, when it
does happen, we will experience the joy of the Lord and be forgetful of
ourselves in a wonderful way. We are, for those moments, one mind and
one spirit with God ...
Still, I do not know if we can attain this degree in this life. We live in a world
of sorrow and tears and we experience the mercy and comfort of God only
in that context. How can we be mindful of mercy when the justice of God
alone will be remembered? Where there is no place for misery or occasion
for pity, surely there can be no feeling of compassion (quoted in Foster &
Smith 1993:51±56).
_________________________________________

Activity 16.1

(1) How did you respond to what Bernard of Clairvaux is saying? Was it
insightful or helpful? Why?

(2) Summarise the four degrees of love in your own words. Which have you
personally experienced?

(3) Read Mark 12:28±34. How does what Jesus says here link up with what
Bernard says?
 198

(4) What effect would it have on our own characters, our families and our
society if all those who claim to be Christians actually experienced and
exercised the love that Bernard describes?
_________________________________________

This long excerpt from Bernard of Clairvaux raises a number of very

important questions.
To begin with, his four degrees of love are important because he stresses
the different types of love and the different motivations behind these
forms of love. Bernard makes some very insightful comments on the
nature of love and why we love ourselves or why we love God.
A second comment relates to the first degree of love Bernard discusses.
He asks the question: ``Whoever hated his own self?'' It would appear
from the insights of psychology as well as a sound understanding of
human nature, that certain people do, in fact, hate their own selves Ð or
at least regard their own selves as being of very little importance. People
who have an excessively low regard for themselves often submit to
forms of exploitation and oppression by other people which are
completely unwarranted. It is not uncommon for battered women, for
example, to refuse to take action against their husbands because they feel
that they have somehow ``deserved'' the treatment they are receiving.
The significance of this point is that if a person has internalised their own
oppression and feels that they are not worthy of being treated like any
other human being, are they capable of moving to the second, third and
fourth degrees of love? It seems that they are completely incapable of
loving themselves for self's sake. What would have to happen for them
to experience all that God wants for them?
A third comment also relates to Bernard's stress on the first degree of
love. He argues that the ``love of self is held in check by the command to
love our neighbour''. This is a very important perception because it
reveals one major motive for self-control, namely concern for the other
person. Unless individuals are motivated by love for others, they will not
hold their own emotions, needs or desires in check, but simply use other
people as objects of their desire or perceived needs. Also, as indicated
earlier, we are sometimes prevented from loving our neighbour by the
fact that we do not love ourselves in a proper way (genuine self-love is
discussed below).
It is necessary to pursue the question of what genuinely constitutes love.
Love is often given as a justification for any number of attitudes and
actions whereas, in fact, love often has nothing to do with many of these
attitudes or actions. Many people believe that if one is ``falling in love'',
all thoughts of responsibility or morality can simply disappear out of the
window. In this instance, love is being used as a justification for any and
every action we wish to commit. We must seriously ask whether there is
any validity in this view of love from the perspective of the discipline of
sexual ethics.
genuine self-love This raises the issue of what constitutes genuine self-love and what
 199 CGM302-T/1

constitutes a negative or destructive form of self-love. Self-love could

simply mean selfishness, that is the desire to use people in any way we
want in order to benefit or indulge ourselves. This is the sort of self-love
that has given the notion of ``self-love'' an extremely bad name, because
it is nothing other than selfishness and self-centredness. This self-love is
negative in the extreme because it does not build personal character, nor
does it lead to us becoming the type of person that God wants us to be.
By way of contrast, the type of self-love the Bible speaks of is a concern
for oneself based on the fact that individuals are created by God and are,
through Christ, saved and brought into a new relationship with God. This
makes it possible for a genuine form of self-love to begin to grow which
is based on our acceptance by God. Quoting Erich Fromm, Hulley and
Mofokeng (1982:60) put it like this:
We are told in Scripture that we ought to love others as we love
ourselves. If we accept ourselves and seek to develop and grow we
will care for ourselves, so that such growth is possible. (The
affirmation of one's own life, happiness, growth, and freedom is
rooted in one's capacity of love, ie in care, respect, responsibility
and knowledge. If an individual is to love productively, he loves
himself too; if he can love only others, he cannot love at all.)

The four criteria explaining genuine self-love provided in the above

quotation Ð care, respect, responsibility and knowledge Ð are vital for
a proper understanding of love. Care and responsibility are crucial to
love because, unlike physical attraction, they do not simply fade away.
Care and responsibility imply that the lover is concerned for the one who
is loved and seeks his or her best interests. This kind of lover will also
take responsibility and be committed to the loved one. Similarly,
knowledge and respect are crucial to a genuine form of love because
without knowledge, we cannot really love another person, but only a
pale, illusory version of who that person is. But once we really do gain a
knowledge of the other person, it is possible for respect to follow. By
respect here is primarily meant our willingness to appreciate those
persons for themselves and to allow them to be independent beings and
to encourage them to realise their full potential. This approach to love is
very different from the form of selfishness discussed above:
The selfish person, by contrast, has no concern for the welfare of
others, is concerned only about his own welfare and interested in
himself alone. He sees the world as being there to supply his needs;
he therefore takes as much as he can and has no interest or pleasure
in giving. Because he has no interest in other people or their
welfare, he has no respect for their dignity and integrity as people
(Hulley & Mofokeng 1982:62).

Hulley and Mofokeng (1982:63) go on to say:

Self-giving is only possible when you have discovered your own
identity in a fulfilling way. Self-renunciation is then not an effort to
 200

punish yourself but an expression of care and responsibility as you

attempt to help another find fulfilment and growth.

It is for this reason that transitory sexual relationships are viewed with
little favour by those concerned with a Christian understanding of human
sexuality. This is because brief sexual encounters do not create
opportunities for the expression of care, respect, responsibility or
knowledge.
love, risk and One must also realise that without risk there can be no love. Essential to
values the enterprise of love is the willingness to take risks and entrust
ourselves to other people in reciprocal relationships. These relationships
will create opportunities for mutual growth, development, enrichment
and joyful companionship (but also open the door to possible rejection
and pain). Nelson (1978:118) speaks of sexual love as follows:
Another way of looking at sexual love is to observe the values
which emerge from it. Such love is self-liberating: it expresses one's
own authentic self-hood and thus releases further potential for
growth. It is other-enriching: it has a genuine concern for the well-
being of the partner. Sexual love is honest; it expresses as truthfully
and as candidly as possible the meaning of the relationship which
actually exists between the partners. It is faithful: such love
expresses the uniqueness of the relationship, yet without crippling
possessiveness. Sexual love is socially responsible, nurturing the
fabric of the larger community to which the lovers belong. It is life-
serving. Always this means the transmission of the power of
newness of life from one lover to the other; sometimes it also means
the procreation of children. Sexual love is joyous; it is exuberant in
its appreciation of love's mystery and life's gift.

``falling'' in love Scott Peck draws a sharp, but helpful, distinction between ``love'' and
``falling in love''. He points out that falling in love is consciously or
unconsciously sexually motivated and it is invariably temporary (Peck
1978:89). He goes on to say that another common misconception about
love is the idea that dependency is love. In response to comments such as
``I cannot live without my husband/wife/girlfriend/boyfriend'', he
responds by saying that this is evidence of being a parasite and not an
expression of love:
Love is the free exercise of choice. Two people love each other only
when they are quite capable of living without each other but choose
to live with each other (Peck 1978:104).

Concerning dependency he says:

It seeks to receive rather than to give. It nourishes infantilism rather
than growth. It works to trap and constrict rather than to liberate.
Ultimately it destroys rather than builds relationships and it destroys
rather than builds people (Peck 1978:111).
 201 CGM302-T/1

Peck goes on to make the point that love is not simply giving. Love
ought to involve ``judicious giving and judicious withholding''. In other
words, genuine love involves the exercise of judgment, thought, and
decision making (Peck 1978:117). Although love certainly involves
sacrifice, one must examine the type of sacrifice that leads not to the
growth and liberation of oneself or the other person, but the entrapment
or debilitation of oneself or the other person. If one partner (eg a parent
or a spouse) completely sacrifices himself or herself for the supposed
good of the other members of the family, this person will only encourage
the recipients of the sacrifice to become infantile (childish) rather than
mature and responsible members of the family.
Finally, says Peck (1978:124±127), love is not a feeling but an action or
an activity. To put it differently, genuine love involves an act of the will
rather than a dependence on feelings. It is for this reason that genuine
love involves decision, commitment, wisdom and ordinary common
sense.

16.3 CHARACTER FORMATION

Ethical discussions, especially in the classical philosophical traditions,
have often been concerned with defining what constitutes rightness or
goodness. However, ethical philosophy, and particularly religious ethical
philosophy, has gone beyond definition and analysis and often includes
discussions on moral behaviour and character formation. This is in line
with the way in which ethics is largely understood in the tradition of
theological ethics, namely that the task of ethics includes not simply
analysis, but also the proclamation of salvation and a call to practical
action and involvement.
virtues In this regard it is important to say something about the cultivation of
certain traits that encompass moral values and behaviour. This falls
within the broad stream of what is called Virtue Ethics or what
emphasises character formation. The virtues spoken of here include
honesty, kindness and conscientiousness:
Virtues are dispositions or traits that are not wholly innate: they
must be acquired, at least in part, by teaching and practice, or,
perhaps, by grace. They are traits of ``character'', rather than traits
of ``personality'' like charm or shyness, and they all involve a
tendency to do certain kinds of action in certain kinds of situations,
not just to think or feel in certain ways (Frankena 1973:63).

Frankena continues:
It is necessary to note here that we must distinguish between virtues
and principles of duty like ``We ought to promote the good'' and
``We ought to treat people equally''. A virtue is not a principle of
this kind; it is a disposition, habit, quality, or trait of the person or
soul which an individual either has or seeks to have (Frankena
1973:64).
 202

cardinal values It has been common in philosophical and ethical discussions to speak of
cardinal virtues by which is meant the main virtues from which other
virtues are derived. According to Plato and other Greek philosophers,
there were four cardinal virtues: wisdom, courage, temperance and
justice.
In Christian thinking, there are traditionally thought to be seven cardinal
virtues: faith, hope and love (theological virtues) and prudence, fortitude,
temperance and justice (so-called human virtues). When speaking of
Christian values in relation to particular persons the stress is on the kind
of person one is rather than a set of abstract rules or principles:
Personal growth presupposes moral development, which is
inseparable from growth in moral awareness and sensitivity towards
others. The agent is seen to be much more than a thinking machine:
she or he is a person who feels, is capable of empathy, exercises
will-power and takes responsibility for actions (McDonald
1995:49).

Even though some forms of Christian ethical theory have not placed a
great deal of emphasis on moral virtue or character formation, the Bible,
and particularly the New Testament, lay special emphasis on such virtues
as ``love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, fidelity, gentleness,
and self-control'' (Gal 5:22). Mark 7:14±15 makes the point that good
acts issue from good persons. Though the recent renewed emphasis on
virtue and character formation in Christian ethics is a welcome one, it
should not lead to a separation or competition between moral norms, on
the one hand, and character formation on the other:
The leading moral virtues often correspond to leading principles
and rules: thus, honesty relates to truth telling, kindness to
benevolence, courage to constancy, integrity in personal and
professional matters to respectful persons and fairmindedness to
justice (McDonald 1995:59).

character and This emphasis on character formation cannot be seen in isolation from
community our existence as members of groups, communities and of society as a
whole. Character formation does not occur in a vacuum. It is for this
reason that scholars such as Stanley Hauerwas discuss the whole issue of
character in relation to the Christian community. Within an African
context, the role of the community in character formation is crucial.
There is an emphasis on the identity of the person being linked to the
community of which that person is a part. Hence the commonly used
phrase umuntu ngumuntu ngabantu, literally ``I am a person through
other people''.
The point here is that the character of a person develops in relation to
that person's association with a particular community of persons. Moral
development and transformation occur in the context of life in the
community. Certainly, in the South African context, character formation
cannot be discussed in isolation from the church, other religious groups,
 203 CGM302-T/1

or the realities of race, culture, the socio-political context, economic

realities and gender relationships.
good character and According to Neville Richardson,
right [The] ethics of character offers a way to bridge the theory-practice
principles gap that has become a yawning chasm in modern ethics ...
Character ethics suggest that the key to a correct decision lies in
the question ``What kind of person do we wish or ought [we] to
be?'' (Villa-Vicencio & de Gruchy 1994:100).

In other words, we need not simply ask ``What is right?'' but also ``How
can I become the kind of person who does what is right?''.
This raises the question of whether morality is a matter of living
according to certain principles or whether it consists in the cultivation of
certain dispositions, traits and forms of behaviour. It is difficult to
separate these two understandings. As Frankena (1973:65) puts it,
referring to Kant, ``I am inclined to think that principles without traits are
impotent and traits without principles are blind''. You may want to look
back to the chart in table 16.1 to see the link between moral principles
and moral character.
In this regard, Frankena argues that there are really two main virtues:
benevolence and justice. By benevolence he means an attitude or a
disposition to act with kindness and a willingness to consider the needs
of others. This would include virtues such as love, courage, temperance,
honesty, gratitude and considerateness. By justice, Frankena (1973:65)
means the moral necessity to treat people in a fair and equal manner.
What, then, about moral ideals? The importance of having moral ideals
lies in the fact that an ideal gives someone something for which to aim.
Since human beings are sinners, it is often not possible to act in the way
in which we would wish to act. However, having in mind moral ideals,
particularly when they are related to following the example of a
particular person (such as Jesus Christ) these moral ideals provide both a
goal and a motivation for human persons who are seeking to live in a
moral way.
What types of moral dispositions ought we to cultivate? Following
Frankena's earlier emphasis on benevolence and justice, it follows that it
is necessary for individuals who are seeking to act in a moral way, in
sexual and family matters as well as in other ways, to engage in telling
the truth and keeping promises. Thus, honesty and fidelity are traits that
follow logically from the cardinal virtues already mentioned. This results
in the cultivation of what Frankena calls second-order virtues, including
conscientiousness, moral courage, integrity and goodwill.
In this regard the gifts of insight and discernment are important. These
imply the ability to make correct moral decisions and the ability to make
value judgments that are accurate, consistent and valid. It is not enough
for people simply to act in moral ways; it is also necessary to exercise
moral judgment in assessing the character and actions of other people.
 204

(All these discussions are based on the assumption that human beings
have a free will and are held responsible for their actions. That is, we are
held accountable for the choices we make in our lives and relationships.)
In conclusion, then, if the type of character formation that is spoken of
above is occurring in our lives, it will have an impact on our sexuality Ð
both affective and genital. In our experience and practice of love in all
our relationships, including specifically sexual relationships, we are
required by God to act in morally defensible ways. True love does not
destroy or harm people; rather it encourages and builds them up into
mature, integrated and caring persons. As our personalities mature and
deepen, so too will our ability to love. If we correctly understand and
pursue genuine love in the context of our faith, our lives will
progressively reflect a holistic spirituality in which our relationships
with ourselves, others and God will be purified and enhanced.
This study unit has sought to show that a discussion of sexual ethics
from a Christian perspective cannot be separated from our spirituality or
from the development of our characters. Nor can it be separated from a
proper understanding of love and relationships.
_________________________________________

Activity 16.2

(1) Write your own summary of spirituality, love and character formation.

(2) What is their relevance to the pursuit of sexual morality? Take

examples of issues from the study guide, for example singleness,
marriage, and sexual abuse, to illustrate your argument.
_________________________________________

In short, this study unit has sought to argue that sexual morality needs to
be discussed in relation to our experience of God and the moral
formation of our own characters. Though many people speak easily
about love, do we really know what we are talking about? This study
unit could also be seen as linking up with earlier study units, such as 3
and 4, which stressed biblical teachings and Christian values.
As said in study unit 4, Christian approaches to sexual ethics are not
seeking to prevent people from experiencing pleasure. But they are
asking what really constitutes pleasure. Christians believe that our bodies
cannot be separated from our souls or our moral conscience. If they are,
damage to all is the result. Hence, sexuality is linked to our relationship
with our own inner being, our human relationships and our relationship
with God.
 205 CGM302-T/1

STUDY UNIT 17

Concluding comments
I trust that the reading of this study guide has been a journey of self-
discovery for you. Knowledge is not simply something ``out there'': it
needs to be discovered, evaluated and interpreted in relation to our own
patterns of thinking and living. This final activity ought to help you to
ascertain to what extent you have been able to integrate your studies with
your life.
_________________________________________

Activity 17.1

(1) Has reading this study guide been a liberatory or an oppressive

experience for you? Why?

(2) What have you learnt or discovered?

(3) Is there something that you need to put right in your own life?

(4) Is there something you need to do to help others to experience their

affective or genital sexuality in a more meaningful and life-giving
manner?

(5) Look back at the main aims of this module as provided at the outset of
this study guide. Have these aims, in your view, been achieved?
_________________________________________

You may wish to communicate your experience of working through this

study guide with me. Please do so by telephone, email, a letter or a visit.
With warm regards and best wishes for your future studies and ministry.

LOUISE KRETZSCHMAR (March 2001)

Email: Kretzl@unisa.ac.za
 206

Glossary

(Some of these definitions are taken from Denny [1988].)

abortion
termination of pregnancy before embryo or foetus is viable;
abortions are classified as spontaneous (natural causes) or as
induced (brought on by deliberate intervention)
acquired immune deficiency syndrome (AIDS)
sexually transmitted disease in which the immune system fails to
protect the individual from other diseases
adolescence
the period from puberty to the attainment of adult growth and
maturity
adultery
sexual intercourse between a married person and someone other
than his or her spouse
amniotic fluid
watery fluid that surrounds a developing embryo/foetus in the
uterus
androgynous
having both masculine and feminine characteristics
asceticism
strict self-denial as a spiritual discipline; involves the disciplined
and absolute avoidance of any form of pleasure, especially sexual
pleasure
asexual
a person who does not have sexual desires
BCE
Before Common Era (alternatively BC, Before Christ)
bestiality
sexual activity between a human being and an animal
bigamy
the crime of marrying a person while still legally married to
someone else
bisexual
a person who is sexually attracted to members of both sexes
 207 CGM302-T/1

CE
Common Era (alternatively AD from the Latin anno Domini Ð the
year of our Lord Ð after the birth of Christ)
celibacy
abstention from sexual behaviour
child sexual abuse
abuse that occurs when a child is exposed to sexual stimulation
inappropriate for that child's age and psycho-social development
closet homosexual
a homosexual who is not open about his or her homosexuality
conception
union of male sperm and egg of female; also called fertilisation
condom
a rubber or natural-skin sheath that fits over the penis and catches
sperm in its receptacle at ejaculation
contraceptive
a device used to prevent conception, such as a diaphragm or
condom
eunuch
literally a castrated male person, employed in all-female harems in
Oriental cultures and ancient Greece and Rome; figuratively, a
person who has renounced genital sexual activity
erotic
causing sexual feelings or desires
fornication
sexual intercourse between people who are not married to each
other, also termed non-marital or premarital sexual intercourse
fundamentalist
one who adheres to a very strict and literal interpretation of the
Bible
gay homosexual
usually refers to male homosexual
gender role socialisation
the process by which one learns the cultural expectations for the
two genders
gonorrhea
a common sexually transmitted disease
 208

heterosexual
a person who is sexually attracted to members of the opposite sex
HIV
(human immuno-deficiency virus); the virus that causes AIDS
homophobia
fear of homosexuality
homosexual
a person who is sexually attracted to members of the same sex, or,
who has sexual intercourse with members of the same sex
incest
sexual contact between individuals related genetically or by law,
other than spouses, that is between parents and children, or between
siblings or other close relatives
in vitro fertilisation (IVF)
fertilisation of an egg with sperm in a laboratory glass dish
lesbian
female homosexual
masochism
sexual arousal from being physically or psychologically dominated
by another
masturbation
self-stimulation of the genitals, but also when one person touches
the genitals of another
monogamy
marriage of one man to one woman
obscenity
pictures, written material, or speech that is disgusting to the senses
and offensive to morality or virtue
oral contraceptive
commonly called the pill, this drug preparation, taken by mouth,
contains either estrogen and progesterone or only progesterone.
Oral contraceptives suppress ovulation and make cervical mucus
``hostile'' to sperm cells so that sperm cannot penetrate the mucus;
hence pregnancy is avoided
orgasm
release of sexual tensions; phase of human sexual response cycle
reached when maximum sexual (physical and/or psychological)
stimulation occurs
pornography
sexually arousing written, visual or spoken material
procreation
production of offspring
 209 CGM302-T/1

promiscuity
unrestricted sexual behaviour; sexual behaviour which is not
restricted or controlled by love, responsibility or a commitment to a
relationship or a moral code
prostitution
the exchange of sexual services for money
puberty
the beginning of the sexual maturation process
rape
oral, anal or vaginal penetration that a person forces on an unwilling
victim (ie without consent)
rhythm method
method of birth control that involves abstaining from sexual
intercourse during the fertile period of the woman's menstrual cycle
sadism
sexual arousal from inflicting pain or humiliation on others
sexual intercourse
coitus; the insertion of the penis into the vagina
sexually transmitted disease (STD)
infection spread mainly by sexual contact
sodomy
a broad term for a variety of sexual acts; sometimes refers to sex
with animals, sometimes to oral and anal sex, and sometimes to sex
between same-sexed individuals
sterility
inability to produce offspring
sterilisation
process by which the male or female reproductive tract is altered so
the individual cannot produce offspring
syphilis
sexual disease caused by the spirochaete Treponema pallidum that
can attack any part of the body but is usually confined to the
genitals; can be fatal if not treated
therapeutic abortions
abortions administered because of special circumstances, such as a
pregnancy that is a threat to the mother's health or the result of a
rape or incestual relationship
transsexualism
a condition in which individuals who feel uncomfortable with their
anatomical sex want to change their sexual anatomy and live as a
member of the opposite sex
transvestism
 210

dressing in the clothing of the opposite gender for sexual

stimulation and gratification
vacuum curettage
method of abortion employing a scraping instrument (curette) and
vacuum or suction apparatus
vasectomy
male sterilisation procedure that involves cutting or blocking the
vas deferens
voyeurism
obtaining sexual pleasure by observing people who are undressing,
nude or engaged in sexual activity
 211 CGM302-T/1

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 212

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