Editor:Carissa Hobbs

Writer: Jaselle Rios

Make sure you don’t put spacing between paragraphs. I think the introduction is very clear and the
thesis is good. I don’t think the topic sentence in the first paragraph goes with overall idea of the
paragraph, maybe start it with something about salary. I think you should you should change the 2 nd
paragraphs to maybe the second sentence. I think the other paragraphs are good. I think you do an
overall good job at reviewing the job and using the sources. Also the conclusion does summarize the
paper. Sources are good