Peer Review Letter Received

Dear Danny,

I like your essay and how it is tying itself together. I only have a couple comments: the first

being a couple grammar mistakes (like "sight" instead of "site") as well you essay really needs

to read more like a lettre than a formal essay.

Again I liked reading about the effects of social media on us (maybe include an example of a

good?) and I look forward to reading your next peice.

From,

Shudane

Dear Daniel, 

Once again, I loved reading your essay and think the topic is great and you put your point across

well. I liked the way that you used evidence from multiple different resources to

strengthen your argument. I loved the quote about how checking your phone can result in

being off task for 23 minutes because that is something that I struggle with all of the time. I

always find myself grabbing my phone to check something and then getting sucked in. I also

liked your link to mental health and your debunking of most peoples excuse for using social

media, which is because it is their news source; even though that's rarely what we actually use

it for. 

The major thing that I would do to better your essay is to make it more like an open letter. I

think you can definitely do that and it will strengthen your argument and lengthen your essay. I
would pick a person or group to write your letter to and use your personal experience to

intertwine between the evidence that you provide in order to make it more like an open letter. I

think you can use a lot of the personal experiences that you talked about in your first essay.

Other than that, it was another solid essay and a great read!

From, Zack