VOORHEES WORKSHEE" Linda Voorhees WRITING DRAFT ONE: 4, 5. ‘What is the structural purpose of the scene? + What Act are you in? (Is the scene in the correct story sequence?) ‘© What is the need for the scene? * How does it help the forward progress of the story? What is the conflict in the scene? + -Who/what generates conflict? + Does the conflict help the forward progress of the story? ‘What is the focus of the scene? + Whose scene is it? * What needs to be accomplished in the scene? Does the story begin at the beginning? Is the Antagonist in a majority of the scenes? At least 2/3rds? DRAFT Two: 6. 9. level of Are the scenes providing the correct structural foundation? + Do your Act Breaks/Mid-Point provide the necessary moment at the right page marker? (Reversals) + Do your scene sequences escalate to a moment of crisis/climax? (Use-8-12 page sequences) ‘Who does the scene belong to? ‘© What character dominates the scene? + What "character need" does the scene fulfill or deprive? + Isthere a positive or negative effect on the protagonist's goal? +/-? Does the scene have focus? © Is there a clear beginning-middle-end? * Did you come in at the last moment and exit at the first opportunity? © Isthere an evident "goal" within the scene? ° On a scale of 1 to 4 (4 being best) how would you rate the scene on a visceral interest, conflict and film quality? © If it's a4—can it be a stronger 4? © Ifit's a2 or 3—can you elevate it to a 4?+ Ifits a 1—is the scene even necessary? Oris it placed in the right story/structural sequence? What elemental changes are necessary to create a strong and compelling scene? Why is this scene so weak? 10. Did you cut out of the scene at the best possible moment? © The highest point of drama? * Leaving a hook for the next scene? © With a strong tagline? * What is in the gap? (What you leave ont between the CUT-TO: and the next SLUGLINE) DRAFT THREE: 11. Read each character through one at a time-out loud. * What do you hear in the character dialogue lines? * Can you pull out phrases that make character voices more distinct and individual? + Can you find a cadence to improve the dialogue? Edit and word choice? 12, SUBTEXT: What are the characters afraid to say? © What are you writing around? © What fear is unspoken or hidden? © Can you come in sideways with dialogue? 13. THEME: Is the theme evident without being OTN? 14, Delete and hide exposition, 15. Who has the tag in the scene? Does the right character have the tag? + Protagonist? + Antagonist? + Foil/sidekick? 16. Are the characters you've written into the scene actually in the same scene? * Reacting, responding to one another in an authentic way? * Camying their own history and attitude? * Purpose, goal and intent? * With obsession and drive~-hopefully motivated by fear? 17. If the dialogue is 6 lines~can you get it down to 4? rem 4 icra eat pte oF ee See ie ee ee ee eo dwordg ne wnat se """ word o""" """ a grunt, a grimace or a gesture?POLISH DRAFT: 18, Trim narrative. + Cutall or most camera directions, * Cutall purple and "novel" style phrases. * Cull words, phrases, sentences, and paragraphs. 19, THEME: Pull theme out in each scene without being OTN. 20. _ MOTIF: Is there a visual motif that will contribute to the depth of the film's enjoyment and theme? (Not always possible, but worth looking for to give it artistic mance.) 21, Character traits, ticks and habits. 22, Character themelines and throughlines, are they established end logical? 23. Edit. Bait, Bait, TRIM & EDIT SUGGESTIONS: (smiles)* => Is there a character action you can use to (beat) > give the actor a better (onyly) => opportunity for an Pause, => tional shift or transition? Repetition of same dialogue line: "Are you Joe?" "Joe? Me?" "Yeah you: Are you Joe?" Filler Dialogue: Okay, Iknow, Well. Clichés or near-clichés, INCORRECT & GOOFY PUNCTUATION: A period or question mark at the end of the sentence will generally (almost always) suffice. Delete ellipsis points. ‘Narative that's juicy in a novel-like style. If you have paragraphs and pages of narrative, can it be trimmed? If "no" can it be organized in a style or format that makes it read fast? Bullets, sub-slugs, fragments, Over description of characters. Use half a line rather than half a paragraph to describe ‘your characters, ANGLES and CAMERA DIRECTIONS. Montages. SERIES OF SHOTS. Flashbacks. Dream Sequences. Fantasy Sequences. Rewrite on! Linda Voorhees