In her annotations, Elizabeth explains why going to a Lizzo concert is like going to church and describes

how she tried to re-create that experience in her review through strong imagery, specific word choice,
punctuation and descriptive details.

Then, read her annotations below, noticing the “writer’s moves” she makes that you would like to try in
your own writing. The paragraphs from Elizabeth’s original review appear in bold, reproduced exactly as
they were published, followed by her comments on them.

There is no single term that can adequately define music sensation Lizzo, but “bop” star, band-geek-
turned-pop-icon, classical flutist, self-love trailblazer, and inclusivity advocate are all apt descriptors. At
her Washington, D.C., concert, she took the audience to church, and center stage, from a gold pulpit lit
up with her name, Lizzo preached a message of joy, self-love, and celebration. Every ounce of her
performance shone with positivity. Even before she appeared, the bright podium and large flats made to
look like stained glass windows gave the audience a taste of the revelry ahead.

Elizabeth Phelps: I wanted to start my review with a little background about Lizzo and the event, but
then I was faced with the challenge of succinctly describing someone who cannot be put in a box and
defies labels at every turn. I waffled for a while about picking a single description but finally decided to
embrace my struggle in the opening line, using a list of descriptive phrases to try and communicate the
many roles Lizzo plays. Lizzo defines herself on social media as a “bop” star, and I decided to open with
her own words because it felt the most authentic.

I also realized as I started to write that there was a real possibility my piece would devolve into 450
words of me just gushing about how much I love Lizzo, so I made sure to clearly state a claim — that
Lizzo “took the audience to church,” preaching joy and self-love — so I would have something to support
throughout the piece. I began to do this with a description of the space itself: bright, colorful and
cathedral-esque. I used this image to “set the scene” and help the reader get a feel for what it was like
to be there that night.