How to

Make
Anyone
Fall Ill w
ith You
 CONTEMPORARY BOOKS A TRIBUNE COMPANY
Page iv

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Lowndes, Leil. How to make anyone fall in love with you / Leil Lowndes. p. cm. Includes
bibliographical references and index. ISBN 0-8092-3211-1 1. Love. 2. Man-woman
relationships. 3. Intimacy (Psychology) 4. Sexual excitement. I. Title. HQ801.L69 1996 306.7—
dc20 96-14502
CIP
Page iii

How to Make Anyone Fall in Love with You

Leil Lowndes
Jacket design by Scott Rattray Interior design by Mary Lockwood
Excerpt from Obsession: Copyright © 1995 by Debra McCarthy-Anderson and Carol Bruce-
Thomas. All rights reserved. Reproduced with the permission of the publisher, Harlequin Books
S.A.
Copyright © 1996 by Leil Lowndes All rights reserved Published by Contemporary Books An
imprint of NTC/Contemporary Publishing Company Two Prudential Plaza, Chicago, Illinois
60601-6790 Manufactured in the United States of America International Standard Book Number:
0-8092-3211-1 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
Page v

To fulfill the promise of the title, How to Make Anyone Fall in Love with You offers 85
techniques based on scientific studies into the nature of romantic love.
Page vii

CONTENTS
1 Anyone? Yes, Practically Anyone
1
Science "Discovers" Sex 2
How More Research Was Compiled 4
How the Techniques Were Developed 5
How I Tested the Techniques 7
2 What Makes People Fall in Love? The Six Elements
9
What Makes People Fall in Love? The Six Elements
I. First Impressions 9
II. Similar Character, Complementary Needs 10
III. Equity 11
IV. Ego 12
V. Early-Date Gender-Menders 13
VI. Rx for Sex 14
3 The Physical Side of Falling in Love
17
"Why Do My Insides Go All Funny?" 17
"Does Somebody Have to Be Pea-Brained to Fall in Love with Me?" 17
"Why Do We Fall in Love with One Person and Not Another?" 18
"How Can These Little Things Start Love?" 19
Page viii

4 Where Are All the Good Men and Women?

23
Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places 23
5 Does Love at First Sight Exist?
25
Part One: First Impressions You Never Get a Second Chance at Love at First
Sight
6 How to Make a Dynamite First Impression
29
First Impressions Last Forever 29
First Impressions Last Forever 29
Be Ready for Love—Always! 30
Stay Psychologically "Fit to Kill" 32
7 How to Ignite Love at First Sight
35
How Much Eye Contact Does It Take to Imitate Love? 37
How to Get Sexy "Bedroom Eyes" 39
How to Awaken Primal, Unsettling, Sexy Feelings in Your Quarry 41
Naughty Eyes Are So Nice 42
8 Your First Approach
45
The Gentle Art of Pickup (Not for Men Only) 45
Hunters, Make the First Move . . . Fast 46
Huntresses, Make the Fast Move . . . First 49
First Moves That Work for Women 50
9 Your First Body Language
53
Let Your Body Do the Talking 53
When You Are Quarry 56
The Word That Can Save Your Relationship 57
"But This Is So Basic!" 60
10 Your First Conversation
61
Conversation Is Making Beautiful Music Together 61
Conversation Is Like Making Love 62
Conversation Is Like Making Love 62
Conversation Is Like Selling 62
How to Know What Topics Turn Your Quarry On 65
Page ix

How to Fool Your Quarry into Thinking You Two Are Already in Love 68
Get Even Closer by Giving the Gift of Intimacy 70
Make Your Lifestyle "Fit" Your Quarry's Lovemap 71
11 Your First Date
75
The Game Begins in Earnest 75
"How Soon Should I Make My Move?" 76
"Playing Hard to Get—Should I, or Shouldn't I?" 77
The Scientifically Proved Best First Date 79
Give Your Quarry First-Date Butterflies 80
Plant the Seeds of Similarity 82
First-Date Restaurant Smarts 82
Hunters, Some Spit and Polish for Your P's and Q's 84
Huntresses, Forgive His Foibles 85
First-Date Duds 87
"I Haven't Got a Thing to Wear" 87
Part Two: Similar Character, Complementary Needs I Want a Lover Just
Like Dear Old Me (Well, Almost)!
Want a Lover Just Like Dear Old Me (Well, Almost)!
12 "It's You and Me, Baby, Alone Against This Mad, Mad World"
93
Similarity . . . and a Touch of Difference (Just a Touch) 94
13 How to Establish Subconscious Similarity
97
How to Instantly Make Your Quarry Feel, "Why, We're Just Alike!" 97
Words to Give Your Quarry "That Family Feeling" 98
"We Even Speak the Same (Body) Language" 101
14 How to Establish Conscious Similarity
105
The Three Crucial Conscious Similarities 105
Let's Talk About Our Relationship—Not! 113
15 How to Establish Complementary Needs
117
"I Got Just What You Need, Baby" 117
Page x

Part Three: Ego How Do You Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways
16 The World Revolves Around You, My Quarry
123
Ego Massage Is a Highly Skilled Craft 124
17 Step One: Silent Praise
127
Step One: Silent Praise
Let Your Body Do the Praising 127
18 Step Two: Empathy
129
"I Can Identify with That!" 129
Lovers Share Intimate Details 131
Lovers Have Private Jokes 133
19 Step Three: Admiration
137
"Oh Honey, You Did an Absolutely Superb Job Slicing These Mushrooms"
137
20 Step Four: The Implied Compliment
141
"You're Much Too Young to Remember This, But . . ." 141
The Bull's-Eye Booster: "I Just Love What You Like About Yourself" 142
21 Step Five: The Big Guns
145
"You Are the Most Fascinating Person I've Ever Met" 145
"What Does Giving a Killer Compliment Do for Me?" 146
22 Fine-Tuning the Ego Machine
149
"Wait a Minute. Does Everybody Like Compliments?" 149
Knee-Jerk Praise: "What You Just Did Was Fabulous" 150
Have the First Laugh 151
Lovers Give Each Other Pet Names 152
When Your Quarry Praises You 153
Page xi

23 Keeping the Love Coals Warm

155
"I Love the Way You Wrinkle Your Nose When You Laugh" 155
Part Four: Equity The WIIFM Principle of Love (What's in It for Me?)
24 Everybody's Got a Market Value, Baby
161
Why Is Finding Love Like Horse Trading? 162
What Currency "Buys" a Good Partner? 163
25 How Can I Use the Equity Principle to Find Love?
167
You Really Don't Want to Marry the Handsome Prince or the Beautiful Princess
167
"Why Don't I Want to Marry Up? 168
"What Happens if Inequity Strikes After We're Married?" 170
26 How Important Are Looks?
173
What Type of Looks Do Women Like? 174
What Type of Looks Do Men Like? 175
"How Can I Make My Quarry Think I'm Better Looking?" 176
How to Beef Up Your Odds on Making the Kill 179
27 Pursuing Rich and Famous Prey
181
Pursuing Rich and Famous Prey
The Look of Money 181
The Sound of Class 182
What Does the U Crowd Talk About? 184
Use Status Words with Status Prey 185
28 Upping Your Ante in Other Assets
Knowledge, Social Graces, and Inner Beauty Are Tangible Assets 187
Page xii

29 Help Them Convince Themselves That They Love You

189
Let Your Quarry Do Favors for You 189
Hey! What About "O Lyric Love, Half Angel and Half Bird"? 191
Part Five: Early-Date Gender-Menders Is There Love After Eden?
30 "I Hope He or She's Not a Jerk Like All the Others"
195
"I Want a Man I Can Talk to, a Woman Who Thinks Like a Man" 196
31 What Is "Man Talk" and What Is "Woman Talk"? (Does It Exist?)
199
32 "How Do You Feel About That?"
203
33 "Excuse Me, Could You Tell Me Where . . ."
207