You are on page 1of 9
The Bet nigh cll salient features of “deny” bo in America ac in apa: race gender, and age (00 Being a Conceptual Anomaly ‘salipanese American Tereteda conceptual ilemmaforthespanese "encounzered. For dem, [wa ving oxymoron, someone who was bth Jpinese and not fpanese Tele puzzlement was all the greater since most Japanese peuple Tne sered 0 adhere to an enmineny biologieal defincion ofapanseness Race, language, a culture ari verined, 0 much so that any challenge t this fly exrenched conceptual schema-—a white person who speaks Dawlesy idiomatic andunaccented jpanese,orapersonfJapanese ancestry who cnot— ‘meets wi what generously couldbe described as unpleasant reactions, ‘White people are treated as repulsive and unaatural—ben na gain, suangeforelgners—the beter thei Japanese becomes, while Japanese Americans and otersoapanese ancestry bor overseas ae faced with crasperation and dsbeliet How can someone who is acl Japanese lack cultural competence" During my ist few months in Tayo, many tre to resolve dhs paradox by asking which of ay parents was realy” Ameria. Tacdeed tis minor mice dat those Fist months did no eat aexte case of agoraphobia, foe Lhe that once I et foot ouside the door, someone somewhere (atx ver? salesperson? a bank cesk?) ‘would geet one of ny Lnguistic mistakes wth an astonished “Ey” Ibe ‘ame all 100 familia withthe series of expeesions thar would ficker core those faces: bewilderment. incredulity, embarrssmenteven ager, nhavingto deal wah ths odd person who loked japanese andtheefore human, bt who mustbe reared, deranged, e—equaly undesablein Japanese eyes—Chinese of Korean. Defensive I woul moll over the mistake ofthe day mea, ow was Eto know that in order t fillet 2 Fs" you had toc "in three pieces"? Or tha pening bank acount required so much specialized erminolgy? Courses in era Japanese attarard hadn't done mucho prepare me forthe reales of everyay len Toyo. Griting my teeth in determination 3s groaned inwardly, 1 ‘would focce myself out ofthe house each morning Forme and apparenly forthe people around me, his was stressful time, when expectations were Routed, when we had to stain to make sense fone another, There seemedto be few advange in my retaining sees an American persona forthe distress caused by these reactions was il ‘tt bear Ine face isonance and dss, found tha the dese forcomprehenible cede inthe form offing Ee satan sup reson of and lence against elf had known in another comes, tras prefenble ro meaninglessness. Anthropologi impeaives to im yee onesel in another culture inensifed this desire, 0 that acquis the accouremenss of}apaneseselhood meantsimulancously consort ing 2 more thoroughly profesional anthropological persona. This equ language Fearing ia the bcadest sense: mastery of exkurally ppropiae modes of moving acting andspeaking Foe my formant ‘as lear that coping wa this anomalous creature as dif, for here ‘ras someone who ldked like rea human being bur who simpy filed toperform according to expectation. The. avery reasonto make sme over in their image to guide me, gently buinsenty into propel _ptnese behavior, 3 thatthe aacrepancyberween my appearance and ‘ny cultural competence would not beso painfully evident. 1 posed a illenge to their somes of deny. How could someone who lobed _epunese abe panes In ny ola inepenude, represented forthe people who met ne the cans of meaninglesness hei response inthe fee ofthusciseonance was tomate meas ppaneseaspossible Thus. y {ist nine months of Fekdwore were characte by an aempt 9 re “ce the dance benwcen expecation and inadequte real, 35 my lnformanes and conspired tore msde as Japanese My guantor, an older woman who, amongher may ates, wa teacher flower arranging, troduced meto many families who owned businesses inthe ward ofTekyo where Thad chosen odo my esearch (One of her former students an fellow flower aranging teacher, Mrs Sakamoto, aged 0 take me in asa guest ove the summer, sine he aparzient where Iwas scheduled to mene owned by one of my las tes in ex ceremony —was sl under construction My proclvtes for acing Japanese” wer by this ne fen established. During my say ‘with he Salamon, cd my best to conform 1 what thought her ex pectatons of gue/daugiter might be This in ta seemed to pease ‘hem and reinforced my tendency behave ncerms of what perceived tobe my Japanese persona My iil encounter wit the head ofthe household epitomizes this mirroring ad enforcement of behavior. Me. Sakamoto had been on bosinss tip onthe dy I moved in, ade earned the following eve fing, asta is wie, auger, and Tx dowa othe evening mel AS soon ashe stepped inthe dor, immed swtched roman informal Me Bet posture, Seated onthe 2abuton (seat cushion) 1 afomal retin Pos ture, sets tye (kneeling on the floor) and bowed ow, bands on the floor. Mr Sakamoto responds in kind (beng olde, mal, and end of the household, he did nox have to bow as deeply a= did), and we ex ‘hangedthe requis polite formulae, requesting hs benevolence, and he welcoming me t their fam; Ltr, he tld me how happy and in pressed he had been with tis act of proper euguetie on my par. "Tey your people in Japan, he sai, "no longer show such spect. ‘our grander mus have been a fine man tase such fine grand daughter” Ofcourse his tatements an hardy be accoeed at fea “They may wel indicate his rele that I seemed w know someting of ropes Japanese behavior, and ence would notbea compete muse totem, twasalso his way of making me feet home Whats important tootesthe way this stement was used el prope ananesebeha- torin future encounters. And his strategy worked. was le wih warm, Positive feling toward the Sakamexo family, aemed wah an incentive behave inaJapanese way for clearhthese were the expectations andthe ‘desis ofthe people whohad taken me i and who wereso generous sharing thei es with me ‘ther members f the hosel voiced similar setiments. Take san, the Salamouss’ married daughter who lve ina distant preecure, hd ben ising her parents when fst moved in, few mints after ‘ur nal encounter, se observed, "You sem ike atypical apanese ‘woman’ (hn no Jase 0 as han). Later ta the Summer, Mes Sakamoto confides to me tht she could never allow "pure American” (Guns na merino ve with tem, fr only someone ffapanese descent was genealy capable of ajustingo eon tam mas, using ‘unsewered tet sleeping cn the Nloor-—in short, of ling Japanese style Again the message was unambiguous my “amy” could eet coms fortble wih me instar as was—and acted—Japanese “tfc then, as Japanewe American Imad sense to those around me 184 none felatous combination of rica categories, As ekdwork progressed, however, and ay ngulsicand cultural sls inpeoved, a Informa seemed ext abet understand me by placing me so mea ‘nafl cultural roles: daugher, gues, young woman, student, prodigal Japanese who had finaly seen the ligt and come home. Most people referredtotreatme asaapnese—someimesan incomplete or uncon ‘eal Japanese, but a Japanese nonetheless. Ine, een when 1 treo represent mselfasan American, ters ida alwaystke heed For insance, on my frst day on the ob athe confectionery factory Mr. 8 Su itroduced me tothe dision chief aan “American ten” here ‘olearm sboutte business and about the real uation” (ita) of woke cersin smal enterprise Soon itbecame cla tht the chief remembered “tude” butnot ‘Amencan” Avec so er, we gathered forone of| four noon meetings to read from a pamphlet published by an eles “school The owner cme and he cornered on the theme of the dy, ‘ras (determination). A Oe poet during his Speech, he singled me fut, praising my reso. "if Kond3 san had been an ordinary young ‘woman, she might never have known Japan” sted ay shoes, 25 cheeks flaming When the exercise Raised, hurried hack to my work stauon. Akiyama, the dnison ead, approached me with pzaled fapression on his face “Dako des ha?” ease. (Where i in ‘other words, where ae you fon?) And ater my rep he anounced Toualyoall "She sys it America” My physical characterises led ny fends and co workers to emp: size my Kena 2 apanese, sometimes even agai my own inerions| + ae desies Overtime, myncressingly Japanese” behavior served tem- poriily 19 resolve thei cries of meaning and w cone the sumptions abour thet wn Wderis. Tat, 0, came to parte ‘enthusiscally inthis recasting ofthe selisatesimonil other succes acing upon me, Conti an Fragmentation of Self Using hese ready-made molds may have reed the dsonance in ny informants minds, but sere ony to increase the dsonane in ty ‘own, What occurred inthefiekdwasa kind ragmensing of ey ito ‘wha then labeled Japanese and American pce, so thatthe deren cements, instead offing together form t asthe Ulan ofa seam less and coberent whole—it is the contention ofthis book that sees which are coberen,seanles, bounded, and whole are indeed il slons—strained against one another. The war as nt eally—or only — between Japanese and American element, however Rerhap it had even mote to do wit the pasion of researcher versus one of daughter and ‘ues. n.one postion, my goal had to be the pursuit of knowlege, where decisive action, Independence, and mastery were held in high teem, Inancther independence and mastery of one's om ite Were ‘ofthe question: rather, belnga daughter meant dts responsi, nd imerdependence ‘The more 1 adjusted to my apanesedaugher role the keener the The Bye conics became, Most ofthos conflicts had to do with expectations sr ‘ounding gender and, more specifically postion asayoung woman Certainly in exchange forthe cae the Sakamaos showed me, Twashap pyto help cutin wher way could redo dosome housing and Laundry, and I took one the shoppingane cooking fr Mr. Sakanoto ‘when Mrs Sakamoto was atone of the lens assocaon meeting her flomer arranging cases, oF meetings of ward commits on je. Alle dlinguency. The cooking didnot fend me nando infty ‘ras lad foe the appoctniy to learn howto make simple Japanese cut ‘Snes and Mf Sakamoto pst up with my smesimes appalling cular Inistakes and imited mens with ret aplomb Lremember one partic lant night when coke fnethe makings soup broth and Mr. ‘Sslamoto was fed pt soup thar was ie more than mio dissolved in hot water, He manage to dow the stele brah with good grace— andthe tace ofa smile on slips (Of ourse, sao tre at aiough he was himself capable of imple cooking he would ot set oot ia the lichen ifthe were a woman ia the house) Months ate more out, ‘whenever be saw mee would ay with spurl a sey and aint of rowalgie witless in his voice,“ miss Darin san salad and sated beet onc ofthe“ Wester menus used to serve up with mumbinae ‘lary No, the cooking was not the problem. ‘The problem vas.n fc he etiquene suroundingthe serving food that produced the most profound confit for me a an American wor am. The Bead ofthe hotschold usually served ist and receives the Finest delicacies men—even th sweetest ricestones—askforasecond helping of ece by merely holding out tee sce bows to the woman nearesttherce coker and maybe, ost maybe tering grt of hanks in return foe hes pais I could never get used to this practice ry 261 righ. Sil ied carry out des uncomplaningly. sn what Thope wets reasonably good hismor But I 83s one too happy about dese things inside” Other resricuons began to che especily estons ‘on my movement. hadiobeiatacerais hour, despite my “aul age ‘et | understood the family’s responsibilty for me as thei guest and “quasi duper, so tied abide by thee regulations, hiding my eta thon a best eo ‘This fundamental ambalence was heightened by solaton and de perideny Though my satus wis in ome respect high in an edcaton- ‘onscios Japan, F028 sll oun male and a student Iwas ina so ‘lly recognized relationship of dependency sve people Thnew: Twas aot be feared and obeyed, bu protected and heed Interns of 6 sets my sesearch, this was an extremely aantageous postion oe in for people did ot fete nce to eect nyviewsback tome, asthe might Sinha move pomerfl person, dil ns © defn stsations rer ouldallow eer people o define tose stations nthe culturally 3p- propriate ways, remaining open to their concerns and thet ways of Sagi the world. Buin another sense, his epenency and slain increased my susceptibility okenifing wi ay Japanese role By this tine Law itl of American frends ia Tyo, for was dicate with people who fad 0 ite inkling of how ordinary panes people ved Dy inkrmant and {consequently had every reason oconspirt rete ne my identity as panes Precisely because of my dependency and my made wonder ol, was allowed-—or rahe, forcad—10 abandon the Pitino observer, Errors, ngs or ual, were deal with ipa trey with startled look tht seemed to ‘ay, “Oh yes, you ane ‘american afterall” Ontbe cher hand, appropriate Japanese behaviors tvere rewarded wh warm, posive eatons or wih comments ich 5 "Nou more panes than he spanese” Even more fequenty correct thavir was simply accepted as 4 master of course NatralyL would “understand, natural would behave correct fe they presumed me tobe, fone panes. emit can imply uny or fst, bur me what occured was fag mention of the sll. This fragmentation was encouraged by my cw prtipation in Japanese ie an by the actions of my ends and ‘Gainances Ar Ks nos eee point, became “the Other” ny own ‘nd, where the Mensty [had known in another context simply ol lapsed, The sucess of ost conspiacy to recreate me asfapanese reached iS elimax one August ftemoon, Te was (ype summer weather for Tokyo, "ike a steam bat” asthe saying goes, 0 the lees were drooping imply from the ress founding the Sakamoto? house. Mrs. Sakamoeo and ber married tlngiter, Tkemi, were at the docior’s with Takemis son, so Mr Sakanst and were sy ending youn Kao chan, akersans youn aught, Mr, Slamoto quickly red of is grandfather ole, ein tne o entertain Kaor:-han.Prmpay a four rt, the hour when mest Japanese housewives do thei shopping or the evening mel ed the baby ino her stole and pushed er along ahead of me 361 inspected the fish, selected the freshes looking vegetables and menally planned the meal forthe evening A glanced othe shiny metal surface of the butcher’ display cave, neice someone who looked tere familiar: 6 The Bet ‘ypc youns housewife, clin pom sandal an the oe, coon Shale home wes” Ge, woman aig with crac testa apaescbendtotieknersandasidng other Sielyt Clutches the handle ofthe sellerioeaty myst ssawave ofan ‘eashed rere, or rela cata glinse oad estan -my om reflection. ert periaps would neve mere fo his ‘orld io which wasn, rte sel nto my mandand tu bom etiseto leave onl Ieahedto mee oe aay.

You might also like