Cambridge English Rewders Sereseditee: Pip Prowse A Love for Life Penny Hancock #8 CAMBRIDGE Gh UNIVERSITY PRESS,Then Sas Caras Une irda ili Corie CRD RU, ie Acta sista Sete 1 Comp ery ee 2809 Feb na he peat anal Ino prinas te un ofan gt nc ve chen pn of ois ry Rom nd easy Tein Ps pm 1p Ak Gnd} Contents Chapter Chapter Chaprer Chapter Chapeer Chapter Chapter Chapcer Chapter Chapter 10 (Chapter 11 Thapter 12. ‘Chapcer 13 Chapter 14 (Chapter 15, Chaprer 16 Chapter 17) Chapter 18, weVannene Iesover ‘After the suramer Instant artrtion An imporcane visor The decision Nocan easy child Mecting Mark “Tioublea A dificult period “The brown envelope Lanch with Rod Becrayal! Addinner ruined “The kiss Panels choice Another kiss Aswondertil surprise ‘The sound of laugheer school 2 18 25 31 37 45 32 58 6 mn 7 83 7 93 100 105 10Characters Fanella: an edicorin « publishing company. ‘Steven: Fanellis ec boyfiiend. a five-year-old gil ‘Teresa: Fanell’s best iend., Paulo: Teresa’ husband, ‘Timothy: Teresa and Paulb’ son. ‘Marl fiend of Paulo’. Rode Ellie and Timothy's teacher, Leah: Rod’ wife Mrs Grey: the headmistress at Rods school, ‘Mr Simpson: Rod and Leah’ neighbour. woman who Jooks alter Ellie, boy in Ellie and Timothy’ elags at schoo Mrs Bedrock: Daa's mother. Chapter 1 It’s over "Teresa, I wondered if | could come round 10 see you. Something’shappened.” Ie was eight o'clock on a Monday evening. lewsene the hese time ro telephone a lriend with a young.child. Bue this was. crisis and Funella needed to speak wo Teresa urgenty ‘OF coure you can come round” ssid Teresa, ont mind giving Timothy a goo night kiss, He fiusious if he thought you'd bean here and he hadn't seen Fanelia smiled, wallowing back tears, She loved Teress like boy, bur right nov it was going 10 be diffcult co sce him, 1 be therein about can minuves, she sad “Good, sid Terwa, “See you soon hen’ Fanlla pushed her bike round so the fiont of her small house. She eyeled actoss Cambridge, avoiding tourists and. students as she went, unable (@ share the happy atmosphere everyone else seemed 10 be enjoying, The river say alive with bouts, she gras Fall of people picnicking. fe wis Ju end-of-cerm dances and univers ceremonies. Fanelia eivied the younger people. ‘They had so few worries. She was ying co fight bick the tears thar had threatened her all diy at work, and were now clouding her and the time For ever arabe gad She rang on Terests smart brass doorbdl, parking her bike by the sde of the large house. ‘Come in,’ sid Terest. opening the door. Her longIbrown hair was piled on top oF het head, and as usual she vas dressed jn jeans ane a Tshive, hii Timothy’ alll awake, and | promised you'd go up and say good nigh” ‘Teresa abvays caked about her son befure anything ele Fanell was used co ie She stile! and went straight up the sears vo the line boy's beceoon Timochy was. lying in his bel fying. imaginary aeroplanes chiough the ar, “Tye come to say good night.’ said Eancll, ‘ont his bed and thinking how much she liked hie He looked s0 lovable, under the sheets in his clean Pyjamas, ‘The curtains were pulled 10 keep the suramer ‘evening light out, is down, ‘iy Mummy going out? he asked. Fanella often looked afier ‘Timothy when his mother and father went out. “Not tonight.” Fandla smiled, ‘Tie come to see your mummy. We're both here this evening” “Then I've got two mummies roday he stid, and Fanella laughed. “fmm noe your mummy’ suid Fanella: ‘Tm your special ‘grown-up friend.” “Whose mummy are you?’ asked Timothy suddenly ‘Nobody's’ said Fanell, aftaid the cers world star rolling down ber checks again, “Why noe? asked ‘Timothy. ‘Wal, nor all grown-ups are somebody's munis: hein Fanelli, feeling this whole subject was too imch for her right now: ‘Some grown-ups choose sot to have chidlren, al some grosin-ups want to have chikren, but they can "Do you wane to have children? asked Timodhy. "Yes, Velo, very mu said Farell, thinking hove it was thar Timothy wanted co elk abour this coday of all lays, ‘Noyes time you wene to sexp, anal om going to go and elk to your mummy. Timothy pic his arms up and Panella lane over aned iss him on che cheek. ‘Then he shut his eyes and began to breathe deeply. It was very pleasing, Panella thought, ‘when a lire child cused you enough to go to lesp ia ‘your presence: ‘She went down the stairs and into the kitehen sehere resa_ias putting dishes into che dishwasher. Fanella thoughe Teresa was so lucky, She had this lage beautiful house, a happy marriage and a lovely litle boy. Buc because Teresa was such a good friend, it was difficult to feet Fanelli own home was quite different. She loved where ic was, in « busy area of the city, There was an Asian jrocer’s nearby: slling all kinds of food. ane a pub ac the cendof che rad. Dat Fans’ hoase sas tiny snd she andl Steven had lore all the interior decoration themselves. {n contrast 0 Teresa soft shades of creamy and natural wood, Panella and Steven had gone a bie wild and hal painted every room a bright colour, according 10 the mood they wanted 10 create, And always.in the hack of Fanella’ mind, had been the shought that one day, the litee second bedroom would thocome her child’ bedroom — the child she-and Steven ‘were going o adopy, it own,” said “Teresa, waving a hand at the kiechet table, “What woul you lke? Tex? Or something stronger? "Tea would be lovely, sad Fane ‘t havent had a thing since | gor back from work?"Have something wo cat! said “Teesa. “There's some fasagne in the oven. Prato had to work la this evening. He jn phoned ry held ge someting tat on he wy "No, shank you.” ssid Fanells, ‘I couldnt eat anyshing, oseea, thanks, "Soy stid Terest sitting down beside her friend, ‘whats happened? Funella rook a deep breath, She wanted co tell Teresa che whole story without crying. But she could only: manage ‘ovo words. “Steven hel’ she said, “Lefi* Teresa wis hosted FanellaJooked at her fiend, and nodded. She sallowed hard “Lean believe ie? aiid “Teresa, "Vou ono were so nuh ia love. You could se i, Evervone could see it. What do you ‘ean he’ ef “Lat repeated Fanella. ‘He moved out, Hk live in London, We've finished. Broken wp. 1s ovee ‘Teresa locked genuinely upset. ‘What happened? we ppanindy ups appened “Ie been going on for some dn feel gone to sctuily? sid Panella sieved now she had told ‘Teresa "Hes been secing another woman. I don't think he reilly loves her or anything, buc weve both been under so much stress with trying 10 adopta child —1 chink he jase cked. This other woman was an escape route! ‘My goodness!’ Tere sat, not keawing whit to’ay. This really had eome asa shock vo hes, What ... whae about the adoption?’ she asked, at las. “Ilooks like that’s out of the question nowy, doesnt ie 5 suid. Funella, bobding her services make ie difficult enough 10 adopt a chill when you're in a steady relationship. When they wieness the ‘relationship fall apart before cher eyes, [expect they reject wig, of tex tightly: “The social you immediatly.” “Teresa could help thinking ths was probably tue. She tried think of some words of comfort for her Fiend, but found ic cficuk wo Know wha «say “Fanell" she sighed clase. Tm sorry mn eraly sorry “Wes OK,’ said Falla.‘ just ned to be with someone this evening, ‘When dil Steven leave?” ated Teresa “This morning. He: came back last and sold me he was moving in with her” Diid’t he give you any warning aca? ‘Wall, aeually I knew abone she ether woman. said. ‘Tee known for a few weeks. He started staying in London more and more: 1 guessed something was going on and Tasked hviny, Hl said he was eying to stop the aff. really believed him, He said it was one of chose things that vas difficale 1» end because he dida't vant chute her She's younger. She’ only eweny-one, nor ready 0 down of anything. and she doesn't want chien yet. [es sitanige becaus, like me, Seven wanted chicken 0 badly We were s9 clese to getting one, Tercin lookcd at her fiend and passed hier a now all abour the pain Fanella had gone through since she Aiscovered she couldn't have her own children. Steven had been very understanding about it He hod moved in. wich Fanella and had lived with her fora few years before they decided we try wo adopea child, 9 we. SheDespite the différence in their lives, with Teresa now at hhome and Fanella still working at the publishers where they hhad mes, the 10 women had comaincd clase friends Fanefla anc Steven had been very invalved with Timothy bom. ‘They had ofien looked afer him, four at weekends, Fanella was never happier than when she was out with Steven and Timorhy, imagining thac one day it would be heir own child who [Buc nov Panella had to face the fact that che lite second bedroom, reserved in her mind for the imaginary child, would probably remain. empty forever. Watching there were osher men out shere. A locof men found Fanella ‘ever since he oF ken ran along herween them, fiend, Tees wanted 10 cell Panella thas attactive. She was small, with a natural, countey-girl fice short dark hair and. dark brow eyes. She looked a little tired these days but char was hardly surprising, knowing whae she'd been going through. Homeves ‘Teresa knew that Fanella did nor want to hear this right now. Finding a man was one thing, man who was willing to accept chat you could 1 children, and who would suppore you through the difficult nding « 1 have hac! seemed perfect, bu even he had weakened under the demands of the sizoation, “The process of tying w adopea child, was quite another, “Lean bear 10 live 1 get used 10 the idea, but 1 ‘cannot bear the thought of living without a child” “Timothy is almost your child’ Teresa said, putting her arm round her friend. ‘He's always loved you, I sometimes fect he'd rather have you fora mother than we! 0 Fanella knew Teresa was trying her bese, but ir didn salten the terrible pain of not having her ov chile sid Fanella, hearing Paulos key in the lock. TL inust go.” She didnit wane co spoil the lice bit of ev her husband had left together: “hanks for listening, 1 don know what fd do without you.” just wish | could help.” said Teresa sadly: “Please come round any time you feel lke i ‘As she watched Fanellteycle imo the dusk, ‘Teresa fer a luce guilty at hee oven good fortune. ing TeresaChapter 2. Affer the summer Rod woke up the sound of the alsem lock, It was a Tuesday morning. in September, ‘The fir day back at school alter the ong surimer breaks He rolled over and looked ae his beautiful wife. He adiired her as she ly, still halaskeep, on the white shees baide him. tt would be-nice o stay in bed and spend the morning with her. Bur he had to be at school in ime «9 prepare the day, before the childeen arrived at nine o'dock. He rolled our of bed unwillingly and showered, Thea, ‘fier palling on the clothes he had pucouc she night before, he went dawn 10 the kitchen to make coffee, He would take Leah seine caffe before he lef, enying her being able to stay in bea in the momings, She worked asa freelance interior designer andl. unless she had an appoinmenn somewhere, did noc have t0 travel to work, She had a studio in the garage and operated her business from there. Rod, on the osher hand had a fory-fve-rxinuce dive 0 the school in. Cambridge where he worked, Ie was offen a slow journey, The taffic seemed 1 get worse every day Bat he and Lea loved sheir home fh the country and, since he liked his job so much, the only option was co commute. TH see you this evening,” he sat, kising his wife, She ‘opened her eyes snd smiled warmly: ‘OK, have a gpod day,’ she said, as she turned over and ‘wen quickly back co sleep. 2 ‘A hour acer, Rod was in his classtoom and she children wore artving. Your coulda sit around for an hour i this jol, catching up on phone calls. as you could in an office, Road supposed, Children needed yon then and there, and if you sveten’e prepared, the day could quiddy turn ince Moning, Rod.’ Hi, Teresi, Hello, Timoshy Rd was Timothy’ teacher, and Teresa was pleased. Rod was a good teacher and Timothy loved him, Rod was glad to have the litle boy in his chssand he liked "eres; she sya always friendly, and only over had praise for the work hedid. Other parents were much mire diffcule, There was one fiother who comphined evéry morning “about how her iprtect litde son’, was being criicival by ceachers and childcen alike, She could never see that her son might be (0 ‘ome for anything, She even seemed t9 encourage him to son fights! Rod could sie this mother coming now, and ted (9 avoid her by capcuring Teress attention, “Theres something you might be able to help me wish, be hice. “Twant ta invite sonicone in co alk about writing or illastrating chiléeer’s books, or publishing dhem maybe. thought ir would be interesting far the children. 1 temember you used wo work in publishing,’ “Al stid Teresa. “I know jut the person. ‘Good, stid Kod, “Fel me more es a friend of mine,'Tersa sad, ‘She an editor for ehildren's books and has a lor of eoneact with authors and illastracors. But, mere importantly she knows about the Bwhole publish and she loves children, im sue shed be delighted to come in and give all," ‘Do you wane to ask her first said Rod. if she’s keen, she could telephone me a school.” ‘OK. That sounds like a good ide Timothy goodbye, certainly as her: “Thanks,” said Rod, smiling at her. “Right. ‘turning co the class, “Time to start the lesson,” Bur the mother he had been «ying to avoid! was waiting for him. I wane t0 alle to you abou my Dan,’ she cai, ignoring the fice that Rod was tying co calm down ehirty childven, ‘Dat old me that hse teem a boy called Timothy Kicked h “Last term? Rod echoed. “I reilly chink: thas anything that happened over six weeks ago can be forgotten. We all want to make a new start ar the beginning of che term, don't wee" “Thete you go again. You teachers always hive: your favourites, while children Tike my Dan get blamed for everything, the mother said, “Yim ot blaming Dan for anythi andl wishing the w proces. aid Teresa, kising he might be woo busy of course, but © said id Rod sighing, am would go, ‘I just wane co stat the new term off of a positive note. Tl koop 4 careful eye on the ewe boys toda trouble. Rod doubeed chae Timothy, who was such a quiet chile, would have kicked Dan, who losked! like a prizewinning boxer “You teachers, You just cant be bothered to do yout jobs, properly’ said the wornan insultingly. “TIL be asking: my and let you know iff there's any 1 Dav at the end of she day what happened, 30 foul bee leeep your word)” She tiened and lefe chen, and Rod bvecathed a sigh of relief, J his job, and in concast co the woman's aceusations, he tied very: hard to teae all the children fairy. Bue his job was made much more diffieule when pparcnts did not support him, and ic always fele good when they dl. By lunchrime, he was already exhausted. One child had bycen sick, and had been gene home. Dan had trouble in the break for stealing anothor child's apple then throwing it over the schoo! fence, Rod had had to send Dian to the beadicacher. Rod was sure Daris mother would hiear about the incident and would soon be back 10 complain. need another holiday after this morning,’ he joked c0 the other teachers in the saffioam, Several of them looked at him pityingly, Rod was the only male teacher and some ‘of the women clearly didi'e Yyeanolds as well as they could, One or two of them also thought that because he had no children of his own, he was ten less qualified forthe job. the was able to teach sixe row sec joked one of them now "You're just ocuip tie! Rod ignored her ‘ptopare forthe afternoon, fly three o'clock, as he read the class theit alternoon nd went hack ¢o his dassioom to stoty, they seemed much more serdad. Looking at their Anal incerested faces, be remembered whar ic was about the job he loved. However difficult they sometimes “appeared, however awful their parents were, there was 1salways som fede ay of light himself when he noticed chat rough litte thumb in his mouth, as he listened to the sory, Even Dat could be soft and sweet when he was tited and eaight up i good stay, sought Rod Rod drore home, feeling the weight of the day ‘him as he lee she city and sec off across open county, His and Lea's home had been wo «ours: which they hud ‘made into one. With ws Over open countryside its sone floors and open Fireplis, it looked like something from 2 magazine. Leah had painted the all white, stripped the paint off the wood and made ber own house, and everyone who came there adic i Rod liked the house to, bur somerimes he couldnt help Fedling ic was maybe too elegant, 100 unlived in, Fle would bbe quite happy wich a lide more mess about the plac. ‘ch plac high value on how things looked an! for hee the home was more importanc than anything. Ie vas one of the reasons she dido't wane childeen, She thought the ‘would just mess it up and break her precious antiques. But ic certainly was 9 peaceful place after a la ‘day in the cassroom. Rod paled his shocs off and pla them carefully by the door. He walked across the stone) floor in dhe kitchen w the drinks cupboard and poured himself beer. ‘Good day?” Leah appeated in the doorway, her onde hair slightly untidy from bending ovce the drawings on her desk. Really busy! sid Rod. How was yours? Great," said Leah, ‘Tve been asked to: redecorate the 6 ‘very child, Rod smiled to n hes hie Simpsons pay well” She smiled. She loved her work and was Ioeqinning v0 gee design. fife From slravingy vsted a smaetfarmbou job s0 much Her antiques: were eareflly placed around the lowing a delicious smell oe imo the ‘wothing niger than con wis iced mouse up dhe hill. 1s a big job and they'll tame for herself in the world of inexior Rod admsied her; and thought how different her days were (0 his. His day ad involved dealing with 3 fight, & sick child, an anxious parent mda sresied headteacher, as group of children wih hugely le. his wife had done some and sat at her desk in peace and quiet, laoking beautiful. I he did love his might envy hee said Leab, open tHe oven door and ‘ve madesuppe ill, hough Hod, as he sat back on the voy tere was home toa wife who enjoyed her and mamiged to cook a nice meal at che same time, Ic siells delicious, he sid, pulling Leah down onto the ‘Mmm, and so doyou. What perfurne ate sofia next co hi Jou wearing? Chanel i g that contac re it! said Rod, wondering when she had Aisne to go inco town and buy herself perfume, Hle was also feeling annoyed with himself ~ he wished he houghe of Anup ic for er. Heal. ‘A litte sat for myself forChapter 3 Instant attraction playing ou in the garden with a friend when Panella nwived at around six thac evenings, 1 was wondering. said Teresa, pouring tea from a green por ince eo pasterned mugs, ‘whether youd like £0 come {o Tims school and give a cll: on publishing children’s “Teresa lef “Timothy schol tha mom ing om op the world. : : She found Timothy’ teichee very auracive. H wasn like other uachers, pare from che far that he was of tex gene stout Tere suggestion and wondering why Tecess had thovight of asking ee. Teresa was always ehoughelul and Jind co Fanella, bur somesimes she had hidden motives for th plans she made, She wondered now sehether chis was Ju anothcr way 4o-make her feel pare of Timothy's world. Fella would love to share her knowledge with a chs of ren, bur only as a professional yublisher. She didnic vant co dit just beeause Teresa el sorry for het “is ehis one of you ideas’ she asked suspiciously looking ther fiend ehrough dhe steam from her tea 'Not at all” sid “Teresa. It was Rod's idea ~ yout kien Tiimorhy’s teacher. He asked! me this morning whesher ow of anyone, and I immediately chouglit of you. I rokd him you might be too busy. Le would be doing him a favour of course.’ "Oh, Udon’ mind doing a selool a fvotie sad Panella, Juv long as yout sure dhey want me. You're not just «ying She was thinking ehildsen and took a gessine incest in thon, She aay liked people who were nice to her som, and in addicion to this, Rod eeally was very good-looking! Feat sil to evel a6 she walled ome: become a typical housewife’ she though, ‘antasising about at men aleny handsome Buc she didnt mind ehis image of herself, She enjoyed tating 10 Rods and inking out him made te brighter undl her own husband came: home. She lovedl Paulo deeply, s0 a Fade romance as harmless. Anyway Rod was marti, and ic way unlikely he ever gave Teresa second dough, ft was just nice to fanasise! While she walled, she made a’ ment list of the things she had co do tha day. She would shop atthe supermarket for the week's food, and go into towa to get some new clothes for ‘Timody. ‘Then she remembered chat she had to Fing Fanella and sce if she would yo into Timothy's clas to givea tlk. . ‘Teresa phoned Fanellat lunchiime; who agreed eo call ‘n.on Teresa.om her way home from work, Timothy was) Aochcer me up?" By soe onl Hr now hc a monte Juve been hard for you, bus 1 think you're coping Jntvellousy: So when clo you think you might be able poo the school” ean take day off nese week, Ask him when hed like Ine Wo come in ie »"TI give you the school number, then you can alk co him yourself said Teresa “OK. Hey is this che teacher you like, the one with the lovely eyes and black hair who looks like Tom Cruise? Fandla asked, Teresa laughed. “Yes hes rather attractive. I “Oh, is he®” Fanella wasnt surprised. And anyway. she was not looking for man in her lifes They just caused you more problems, she had decided, and she was aleady she said, “ic is. 1 think you'll find ashame he’s martied.” managing wey well on her own, “By she way.” said "Tevese suddenly, ‘what's happening ‘with that independent adoption agency vou contacted ‘Well, began Fanelli, cautiously the first interviews and workshops, 've had a ream interview where they told me thar being single shouldn't stop me from adopting. They want to make « home visit hough, which is the most thorough pare of the procedure, so-nothing is definice yet. “That's great news! to help, I will ~ lke telling them how wonderful you are wich ‘Fimodhy?” “Thanks, Teresa. Theres 2 long way to go yer of course: ess. ‘And if Lean do anyching endless interviews, workshops and then there's she question of finding, the right child. Thar’ if they decide can have ‘one. But TI need ewo references, so perhaps you could provide one of them. fl love cosa Teves, la cycled back wo ber evn houie feeling, for some reason, mote optimistic than she had done for a while ‘Over the summer she hed gradnally forced herself to stop Fu thinking abour Steven. She had redecorated her whole house s0 that ie would no longer remind her of him, She fad chosen the colours carefully, and just doing this had ‘nade her feel morein conteol of her life Steven had ung her once, «0 say he and his’ new Uiliend were planning w mary. Fandla had reacted by Hecoming even move determined to do the thing she most syanied to do: adopt a child, Steven was not going to stop hr! ‘She had concacted an independene adoption agency the dhay afer she heard Steves was getting marie. Shy vas (old c go co an inteeduetory meeting where she could Jain more abour the advantages and disdvanngs of iwlopsing a child as a single pewon. She had learnt thae beeing single was nor a problem any moze ~ the importane thing was your commitment to bringing up a child. Two Interiews vith a social worker had fallowed, and even though she sill had co have-a home visit and acend Fuster Workshops, she fel: fr more confident that she might be allowed vo alopta child. Since then, she hae pue Steven out of her mind and Bpnemtraced on work and on finding out as much ae she ould about adoption. Now, in September, things did not Took as bad as they had done that evenin she ad spene che evening in terse Tees ‘The next day Fanella phoned Rod. at his school and Arranged to go in the folloving week, Akhough she had to fake a day off she didn’ wind giving the school her time {i would be a change for her m be with children, and Interesting to see what happened inside primary schools these days in June, when a‘A week lates, Filla arrived at the school. She was syeleamed by the schoo! secretary and given a cup of coflee in the staffroons, Then the secreary took her co Rod’ dlassoom. “Here you are, iad the secremry 10 Rod, as if Fanella was a parcel she wat delivering. Red looked up from the chil helping. group of children with some writing. Fanells hheare jumped, Teresa hadnt boen exaggerating when shed said Rod looked like ‘Tom Cruise, Buc she hadit rmemioned his lovely warm smile and his gent wih ee children Rod siood ups apologising wo the children for having so their leson, and came over co Fane, “Hi,) he said, smiling indicated an annichair on the caepet. ‘Its really kind of you to come in like his. Has anyone given you a coffee? “Oh yes, thank you” sid Fanella, siting down and taking some pages oucof ee bag. "Now, listen to me everybody’ sald Rod, wiening «0 his class. “We're very lucy today because we have a visitor, a vay special vstor, who helps co make the books we read in school. 1 like you all 1» come quietly and sic on the carpet, so she can tell you about her very importane job “1 know hen? came Timothy's excited voice "I know you, done 2 hes Fanella smiled and rouched his hait. "You do, yes, she sid, Ro smiled ar Fanella and her heart jumped agin. “The talk went well. ‘The children were very interested and sat with open mouths 2s Fanella showed them some ined chair where he sa, “Take a seat! H to Panella, “btiginal diawings, and compared chem co che drawings in “some published books ryone starts off making mistakes,’ she told them, Posen: anisis try. he: same drawing ten ot. reeny ‘times before they gee it right. Par your hand up if “somerimes you try 2 drawing and ic comes out all wrong. A forest of hands shor into the air ‘Well if you keep trying, like these artists do, you ean _gecit ighcin the end, she sid. She went on co sak abou some of she authors she worked with, The children know che names of some of thiem and were delighted io think Faneila had met chem. “Thar wie geet sa Rod when Banell had 6 the childeen had gone off for lunch, “They were realy “interested, and it takes & Tot to inerest some of them!” He Jaughed. “Hey, would you like 10 come fora quick linch xe the pub over the raad? Id like to talk «0 you more about publishing "Pd love wo. said Falla, thi “Would like more righe nose, They sat outside in she late summer sunshine, eating Inead and cheese ane drinking feu juss “Yo going to tell you something,” said Rod, after they had chatted for a while aboue this diferent jobs. Fanclla looked at him, slightly surpeised. What om each “Was he going to ell hee? ‘Yve waiten a couple of children stories wns? he Jai, ‘and I wondered ifouid take a look at chem? Fanela laughed with relic. ‘i love to look at them,’ she “aid. "Wee always looking for new talent “Oh, thank you.’ he sid." haven’ actually show them ied ae 1g there was nodhing sheto anyone else. [in a bit embarrased about them, They right be dreadful. But you must see a lor of dreadful stempw ar writing for children, so youll be aed wo ie? Fanelly Inughed again, “I doe’ she said. ‘But I'm sure yours wont be one of them.” Rod smiled at her; For a brief second their eyes met. He noticed the deep brown of hers the hook of sadness, and felt suddenly that hei like wo know her better. Bur it was almost time fx afternoon school to begin, ‘Listen,’ he said. “Til send you my stories a the publishers, shall “he sate 40 address them 1 me personslly,chough’ said Fanella ‘or chey'l be put in a pile somewhere and it'll be months hefore I get o se them” ‘OK? said Rod. “And hey, thank you again, You've made the children’s day. “Goodness me!'choughe Fandla as she eycled home. ‘He really is quice something” She was filled wich a sense of joy she had noe hed for years, not even when she haul frst met Steven “Fle the kind of man F could fll in love to herself But then she remembered: he was married and probably had children of his own, He yas out of che ‘question, ‘T must focus on myself and the adoption’ she told herself, Bue nothing could stop her hear from singing as she arrived home and went sraight to the phone @ fing Teresa. if Chapter 4 An important visisor You dice cell mehe wasso attractive!” E chought | did? sail Teresa, a litle concerned. for “Fanclla, She hado't heard her as excited as this for years. You sid he locked like Tom Craise, but you didnt rel “me aboue chic beasiful smile, Or aboue his sense of Pumour and che way he manages alk c0 childsen Be i looking down ont chern aa "Hey, cal dows, Eanella, 1 didnc ell you all hae “fecause | didnie want you to fll in love with him. Hes ‘aried” “Are you sue? “OF course Lin sure He een his wife,’ Teno aid with a "What's she like?” Fanella asked. ractive, eens quite a Joc of money as an “She couldn’ help eli dissppoineed. There had definitely. something between her ant Rod ~ she was sure of i. he couldnt help fecling he had liked her coo. Buc it was 1 from what Teresa had just said thar he was very ppily married, A rch blonde wie! He could hardly be gacicd 10 3 smal lonely wornan who wasnt even able vo ks st about hie Abu must forget about him’ Teress was aying at that »very moment. “Id thought this would happen, I wouldn’s hhave suggested you wene into give tha talk. thought you were mote sensible than this!” “Tam, usually | don't know what came over tne” Teresi couldn't help feeling « like jealous ac chat moment, She had always choughe Rod was a fle actracced to her, as she yas «0 him, Buc she stopped herself fecling jealous. Red yas simply a selly nice guy ing Panella ad yor on well with him, “Oh, Hanell she sail, "You've Fallon in lowe with bi! L should have predicted this. I's noe good for you. Yau need to find someone single and available. You dont need any nore problems in your lifear the moment. Ob, done worry’ said Fanlla, “Tm not really Looking for a moan at all. T dont want anyone right now T just coulda’t help liking him. 1 shall forges abour hiny the tinuce I par the phone dawn. I've got more important things to think abou, lke the social worker who is coming tomorrow evening,” ‘Oh, yes, Td Foxgocten. Flow ace you feeling aboue hae’ “Nervous, said Fanellayand she waset bing. le was going, ‘be the hardest part yec of the adoption procedure, ‘She spent the eest of the day’ cleaning and polishing her hhouse until i sparkled. Ar least there could be no question cover the suitability of the home environment for a chile ‘The hard physical work also helped her to forget about Rod. By die evening, she vas concentrating once again on the possibilicy of becoming 2 parent, and had convinced hel forger about romance forthe momen. Fanella had wanted childien ever since her ealy % “iwenties, Now, approaching her mid-thirties, she felr a “eanse of urgency. She knew there were plenty of people Who enjoyed sceessfil careers, freedom and a good a igand dide wane a child, Bue, for Fanells, things were nor important, She vanced. the deep omminnene of a clikl, and she was preparcl vo siecifice “aber things in oe Bie For ‘The social worker yas a thin woman, wearing grey “lathes and with long geey hair tied up on tap of her head. She: stepped into Fanellas siteing toom and invmediacely: Tooled around, taking in de de “Les not a very hig toons’ she sai ‘Have you imagined How much smaller i oud fee, fills wish children’s toys? Children need space to move about tao,’ she added. Fancla fle hevself geting atnnoyeel staight away. As if fhe hada't thoughe about this! “My friend’ ile boy loves silvof the sinall room, phying here” she said. ‘He often comes with lows of toys find makes a whole world in here with roads and ‘monutains and a garage.’ She stoppeal, aware thar she was “sounding defensive. ‘The social worker dido’t say anything, bur quickly wrore “something down. Faneli took a deep breath, "Would you like tca, orcoflee® she asked, trying to reka ‘Coffee, whine, ovo sugars,’ said the social worker, sitting alown on the sola and continuing, co wri Fanclla wenc into the kitchen, She wos suddenly feeling ery emotional. Ordinary parents didait have wo go through “this exhausting procedure ~ ic just didn’t seem fair. All she "ie vas thar she loved chldeen and had the love to givea “thild who needed a parent. Bventhing else seemed Welevanc. Small room indeslt Children yew up in all i ‘kinds of conslsions and survived. Surely. all chae mactered ‘was that they were loved? ‘She took the coffe theough co the front wom and sit down opposite the social worker. ‘Hlave you considered whae you would do about wor _you were « adopt ci?” the woman ase her. "The given ica tot of hough" sid Fanta, euchfully ‘Obviously T need an income, as Vm single. U've heen wondering, therefore, whether ir might be possible 10 adopt an older, sciool-age chk rather dav a baby. ‘Then f could eantinuc wo work while the child wasat school.” “stn social worker doubifilly. “Oller dhildren’ personalities aie far mare developed of course, and adoptive. parents ofters find they have very. cle influence over them, Remember, many of our children hhave had difficult fives and display discurbed behaviour patcemns. Younger children hayert had as many problems in their lives, generally speaking. and. you have greater chance of healing some of their wounds” ies no that | wouldn't want a younger eid, said Fanella, afraid suddenly that she didn’e sound very snorhly. "Wes just dat, for practical easans, an older cil ighe Benefit more from my station, I don't wane (0 addopc n child, and shen get someone ese to look after him ct her, I want to do fe myselé.” "The social worker ghneed at Her and made vome mone notes. *Thete ae of course, far more older children available foradoption, ifyoutre prepared for the challenge,’ the social worker sad. Well said Fanella, feeling that the woman was softening, ‘I know a school-age child would bring different if as ly choughr a ov abou why you wane 10 ‘worker continued, ‘bur have you nella Felt annoyed again. Ie really seemed as i this ‘was tying to pur her off. ‘Well, yes she answered, te hide the note of impatience in her voice. "This fuse coal idea, lex something H've beer think’ ur for several years,” Go on, said the sxial worker. feeling, ‘I've sco ugh of it | koow you can put “Tne ase minate evenings oat or holidays abo F know hat you have to he more responsible financially — you cant cue an designer lores! But dont care hiren, the new view ‘low! may well give you a new view on Anhappy: one may simply eae you out ith his misery Childsen are unhappy for a reason,’ said Fanela Kenly feeling exhausted. She hadevt prepared herself for ‘When she and Steven had been interviewed rogether, socal worker had been much gentler with them. “1d try to understand the chil,’ she said. ‘I hope Ii begiven some itsformation about his pase experiences 50 1 ‘could analyse what was going on and try co work with the child, And 1 only take on a child 1 fele 1 could love, shrough she good times and the ha.’ ‘The social worker smiled, ‘Wel only let you have a child swe thought you could love,” she said, ‘Now shove me around che rest oF your house, chen we need 69 eal some more about your own childhood.” By the time the social worker Hod left, Fanela was ead to fall inca bed. Ir ad all been much easier when Steven hhad boen there vo go through it with Inet, Then, they been land, and some to het friends. She had able (0 share their answers, and calle about i¢ xod faye d ta stay in. Cambridge For the Christias holiday. ogether afterwards Alilough she would be alone in her howse she cal mend ‘Nerw; Fanella fl loner than ever: The social worker chen rap and the washing machine. She aso wanted had left without giving any cue as to whic she was far the second bedroom, juse ia thinking. As far as Fanella knew, the social worker might hhave decided she was conspletely unstable ro be a parens Perhaps, she war unsuitable and had untealstic expecations of hese She got into bed. roving vo think of her ie child in it. For so long ic had seemed & poss horizon, a8 iF everything lye she did ws ho point where a chil would arrive in her Tie, ‘trough that pechaps it was never to be. No child, no Steven, no Rod. Whar else was there: She buried her head under the sheets and closed her ‘eyes. Suldeny she needed to sleep more han anything eke inthe world. elas bicycle basket was full of presents. She would some of them to hee mother and futher, who lived in our own child to share agreed. coulda Hp fs iat a suas wil!” And Panella s-00 the ling sorey for herself now a she creaity was. Here she was, a year ‘not only’ still childless, but single as well She had nothing defini feom the adoption ayency for weeks, igh she had had several more visits from social and had attended some worlshops. She was © Pefinning ro eel thac everything wasagains hee Ishey only understood how painful it was, not knowing woadope, thing. tat she d been so long since she hasl heard as atad forced bserslf vo stop ehinking about it a Ieost antl the New Year, ‘She opened: che door, went into her siting room and ropped the pile of presents on the floor. The house abvays {ele so cold and unfricodly when she bad been out al ay. She rushed about closing curtains and cumin on lamps, She pu the heating on andl plugged in che kettle. Then she noticed that dhe Tight an her answerphone was blinking at her Collapsing onto a cushivn by the phone, she pressed the sed bution on the aachine and sat back 10 listen vo her ngs “Hi Favela, Fes “Tees Favondered if you like to come to Timothy's Christmas play with me at his schoo! sexe week, Speak to you later” “There was another “Halo, his ish 1 ageney, Weve got some ews for yous Please could you call us beck as soon as possible.” Fanella looked ar the clock, Ke ssas si o'clock. She might he it time 10 tall 10 somacowe ae de agency. Bu she was aleaid of what they might say: She decided co call Teresa back est “Pa love 19 come to Timothy’s play’ she tokE her fiend. Lean eake the aftemoon off work — everything's slowing down for Christmas now, anyway "Oh good,’ said Teresa. "Tinvorhy will be happy! He asked if youd be there. Hea bie disappointed that he's no going © say anything, But if you'e there to elap him, it will all be worthwhile” Fandla Laughed: ue “Yes, Lhink Rod fele he had co give eal, Rod's been having some trouble fiom one parent. e's accusing him of refering the children who wo! Fea just gossip of course, poor man. hard and do wel Well’ sid. Fanella,"L suppose it’s fair that esy able h yes. sad Teresa, sounding @ line annoyed. “OF se, buat it shoulda’ make the other children feel bad.’ “Ie must be very difficult vo get dhe tighe balance,’ said anella. She didn't want co argue with her friend, bee she joughe Rod! was right w offer the speaking pares 10 Anyway she add, Swell sie and cheer and clap when see him. so he'll know that he the best actor we've ever i “Teresa laughed. “Haw are you anyway? she asked, © 7OK,' said Fanella slowly. ‘Actually, F chink ehe adoption may have some mews for me, There was a message, it 1 don't know if it’s good oF bad. I can't bear to chink out it. I've got to phone them back; buc I'm xoo nervous!” Fanell felt warmed by her friend's gensnely ithusiastic response, and 2 lite guiley that she had been1 hope I'l have some news by the time T see you at the play." “Took forward voi See you then” “See you’ said Fanela and put the phone down, [Now there was no escaping the other phone cil. Her Aha was jumping as she dialed the number that had been lef for her ‘A few days later Fanella acived ac ‘Timothy's school. "The ‘schoo! halls full of parents and young children. A large, ly decorated Christmas «sec stood in one corner Fanella looked across the rows of heads for Teresa and saw her neae the front ofthe hall. “Just like “Teresa to make sure she's got the best view!" Fane thought. ‘As she aqueezed past the other seats towards Tetes, she realised her friend was talking busily with someone, She reached Teresa’ row and realise the person she was alking 10 was Rod! Fanelta suddenly felt shy. fe was months since their lunch in the pub cogeiher and she had pat him ‘completely out of her mind. But secing him agiin, she We help the same fecting of excitement she hal ‘experiened the ist time she sw him, “Teresa looked up's Fanella arrived and put her arm round her friend. ‘Here she is! she said. So, Fanella had been the subject oftheir conversion! said Rod, stniling warmly at Fanella, must go Te got to make sure’ everything is OK backstage Good Tuck! And he disappeared, Fanela siddenly fee suspicious: ‘Why did he sy "good luck’? she asked Teresa, sitting down in 3 seat beside her Ey Tere looked embarrased, lho ‘ Te parsed. “hope you det mind, she “sid. was teling him about your atempt at adoption 'reboon so excited, I had wo tak to someone shou id Now oat’ the news? lent fora momtent. She felt surprised th had been tlking 10 Rod about her. Atha momen, Aesea squcezod her arm, iia “Hoy! she whispered, leaning cowards Tinea, 4 pee Ws towards Tella. “Look, ‘Anall blonde woman was walk was walling down the side of the al vas the wags he ono among he thet Aas there. She was tall slim and incredibly well-diewed, Temas cea se did't have children to look afer and was than primary. school terested, as the mn af Wend approached bd He kan woos braked er 0 he ess they disappear taster behind the tins by the ge Its poles wonying what Rod shoughe shone Fanella realised, and pointless Lo ‘exer only wane the best for hee : Fone, looked at Tee, “Thee appr sor Rm iid, tanable to hide a broad smile. ‘And they Bey eye gor a suialle child for me to vish afer Chrismas!’ “ ‘Fantastic!’ said “Teresa, cls ‘ eres, clapping. her hands together, “1 you could do it! Tell me more. Is ita ‘ BE What happens ne Eero Note id ancl, no: waning co ond oo exci, 2 five-year-old gir. People are looking afer her a the Bomcne and obviously iis bester for her to stay. te 36i emas, Bur the people where things are Gumifian ovet Christmas, But she is with don'e wane co adopt her permaneacly, They find bells bot he sls serine because they choughe Ti beable to look after her! “Dilhicule’ said Teresa, sounding, Tce concsenid. “ln wha way? ‘Wall, she wort see iio school. She's beer known 10 sy fouce or twice, and shes a bit difiule ar hom sid Fel, Sheds want co sound co neve sow the child, ‘Buc they feel she needs a lor of one-w-one attention. The fimily who are looking afer her have sheee thiklren of their own, She's found living wich them diffical’ aired “Teresa sighed. “I hope you atent going to find ir wo ed, she si . eral enh die ju! i Ral. “We prc inet an ete cil is rds oe he me Tus fee pleased the sgency believe Lean doit.) affectionately, asthe lights went off and he stage curtain ‘opened shoving ten litte children. ‘The child in the mic Fifed his hand and waved, Ic was Timothy! Fanela andl “Teresa waved back asthe music xarted, 36 | thepark and you could show “by thar Elie ha Chapter 6 Not an easy child The firs time Falla saw Elie, she was standing on the top of & garden wall, 1 looked dangerous, and a woman was shouting angrily ac her to come down. Fanella looked at the small girl, balancing so high up, and was impressed by hee grace aul sense af balance. The situation was potentially dangstous, bu the child looked so sconfidenc thay Fanella herself ns no Norma, the woma apalogetically te ho was looking after Elie, rusned ndla. “This is wypial of Ellie's bchavious” she said. ‘It wears me out! But | suppose ies bewer ifyou see her as she rally is, rather than deesed ap and looking sweet and innocent. You nec! to know whae vo expect, if you decide co tke het Fanelh nodded snd smiled. She walked towards the wal nd looked up into the fede ge’ fice. fe asa round pole is; with blue eyes fanned by blonee curly hi “Hi, Ellie, Tim Fane,’ she sae gently. 've come to take 0 out, chae is, if you'd like to come, I can see youre very joel ar climbing and balancing, Perhaps we could go ro what ele you can do?" e-sared at Falla fora few minutes withour aeering JN scrious expression. Then, suddenly, she leant forward id jumped off che wall onco ihe grass. Ih was quite long np and Fandla couldn’ help gasping in surprise, Buc she ut Janed well and asi hurt i ”"Get your coat, Ellie’ said.Norima in 2 serious voice, "Don't keep Fanella waiting?” Fanella and the small git exchanged glance, and Fanella suddenly felt sure they were going co be friends Je was strange spending an afternoon with a child she didn’t kaow, bur Fanella enjoyed it. I seemed to her tha Ellie was not usually allowed ro do whar she was best at Now that Fanclla was giving hit the freedom to run and climb and swing, she seemed like 20 wncaged bind. She played for hours, while Fanella sat on abench and watched. Occasionally she got up co push hee on a swing, or catch her as she slid down a pole. When ie seemed that Ellie had had enough, Fanella siggested they went to a até and Elle looked very exciced. Fanells had a cappuccino while Elle had hor chocolate and a cake, and chatted (o Fanella quite openly about her time with Norma’ family, “Like Norma, but her children can be annoying, she told Fanell, biking into the cake. “They offen keep me awake acnight with their games.” “Donte you wane «© join in with their games” asked Fanela ‘No! said Elie fiemily. “The boys fight all the the gel plays with dolls. I hate dolls” ‘What do you like playing? asked Panella “I Tike playing with animals. 'm going w be a vet’ said Elie. ‘But sometimes I get so angry, throw all dhe animals ‘out of the window. Then Norma gets cross with me and says Il never be a yee fT behave like that! Elie was strangely adule in the way she spoke, a8 ished hhad too much experience off for her age. 8 By the time Falla retutned her co Norma, she fle she'd gat quite a good picnure of the child, and hod already grown very fond of her, Nothing was definire ye, buic she could pievure Flic in hee lie already. She imagined raking hher to all sorts of dhings she had never experienced before: the theaure, dance clases, gym clases, and posibly geaing hora real pot to look fier ‘As she stor! ac the door ready to leave, Ble came over to her and rook her hand. "Can I go with you now? she asked, looking up inco Fanella’ face. Fanella smiled and stroked her hair. "Next time you're coming, see my house, she said. “ICS only a week aay. You muse stay here until then,” Ellie made a facx, and Norma looked cross again ‘Come here and let Fanella go now, she said, “Its time for your bach,’ ‘No! Ellie sid and stood, not beside Norma, buc beside Fanella, Norma stepped cowards Elie, but the little gid ean away from her and back towards the house, Once inside, she banged the door shut leaving Panella and. Norma ouside Norma pushed the door. ‘She's locked it” she said, glancing at Panels co see how she was reacting co Elie behaviout, Panella aid norhing. Norma pushed open the leterbos. ‘Open the door now! she shouted. ‘Or you'll be going co bed with no suppet ‘No! Ellie shouted back. ‘I shan'e open it. Lean do what {ike and you ean’ stop me!” AA few moments laer there wis a sound a¢ an 4 window and the rvo women looked up t0 see Ellie lea ‘out of the window with a glass of water 2»et inside” sereamed Norma, alarmed shat E vee here lle lee go of the glass and ie smashed on the pith below. "Thats ie? said Nora fosiounly, “Tin going © ger a Tadder— 1 have gecin through she windows? ‘Once Nonna ha gone Fanella called up wo the window “Bll,” she said sofily, “I understand exactly how you fee. You want come with me, dont? you 1 understand) because I really want you to:come home with ine now, 10. ‘We both have 19 ait, but i¢S only s week, Elie and ill pass very quickly, I promise Ellic began to cry quiedy. “Come down, Ellie. Unlick the door and we cai tll: about it. Fanella watched the child, her heare racing: was she going ro do as Fanela asked, or was she going to have’ ‘another temper tantrum? Slowly, the child withdrew from che window and, few. seconds htes, Fanella heard the key: in the door By the adder, Fle wis in Fanell's semis saying, hoiry sorry, sony’ over and over again, Fanella and Nowa exchanged ghness over the wp of Ellie's head. fe was cleat Noma was noe exaggerating whet the said Elie could be difficult in some ways, hut Favela wan't pucoft, PI see you next week, she said, on child, and tured towards her bicyele Tn many ways, ie would have felt more natural 10 take the title gil with hee there and then, because Fanclla was’ sure thac Elle was the child for her. But there wore Keg ighe time Norma reunrned with “0 lous co sort our and sce rules oo follow before she could lisp Ellis. Ellc had 20 vise her house ond aoe whether che liked ie and would like wo ive thece. I she did, she would wove in on atrial basis for a few months before anything ‘ould be finalised, Ie fle very lonely arvving ho ‘ven quieter than usual, For the though abeur Steven xd how much she mised him. She wanted © shave this experience with someone ~ it fel so eypoy going dhrough it alone, She ran herself bach, posted lors of bubbles into it, got in and lay down, suuddenty eelising chat this was wha Ellie would be do at that _ moment. She already fele close 10 the girl and wished she was herein the house with her ‘A couple oF months lites Fandla’ wish had become reals: (On the frst morning aftr Ellis moved in with her, Fell awoke, hardly able to believe there was 2 child in the second bedroom. fe wae stil ely and on Lup and crope aceon the Laing 0 fol dove. Elks unidy hae cowoved the pillow, Hier fice which Atsplayed such adule expressions by dy, as smooth and Tinccfiee in asp. She looked alinox like a baby, wih her round ehecks, ane! Fanella hac the urge to kis hee But she lida, oc wanting to wake her fiom her peace, Insccals she went quicly downstairs and pat some Iweaklase things on che itchen table. She had-boughe cereal for the fest time in years, in. cardboard boxes audvertising free plasic roy gifts inside, She had bought Some fech colls snd jam to0, and lots of fruit The sun ise getting Fight, bue she got ‘at the bedroom mnin dhrough the kiechen window, fr was March and the fist shoots were appearing through the soil in che thay back garden Fanella had booked theatre tickets for later thac momning atthe children's cheatte nearby. There wats a dance show on. which she was sure Ellic would enjoy. In che afternoon, she was going 0 cake Elie to meet ‘Teresa and Timothy, Suddenly her life fele full and interesting, and she realised how empry it had been for s0 long betore his. she sar and drank her coffee, she reminded herself that Elic ‘was still there on trial, nothing was official and ic could all go wrong, The adoption agency could decide she was not the right mother For Flic, or Elie herself might decide she didnt wane co say, Just shen, there was @ noise on the stairs and Eli's face appeared round the door. “Come and have some cereal?’ Fanella said, pil lence, pauring cereal into her bows and then heaping ie wih sugar “Not too much sugar’ Fanella suid. (Ws bad for yout teeth, you know? Ellie looked at her and frowned. ‘Norma lee me have as much as I wanted,’ she s and Fanella realised there were going to be many occasions when she would be compared to Norma. ‘Tim taking you to the theatre this moming”’ Fanella said, deciding (© ignore Ellics remark, "There are some dancers doing a show. I shink youl Hi Elie sid nothing as she are her cercal. When she had finished, Fanella suggested she go and ger dressed. Elle sat a in her chair, kicking che chair leg wich her heel, For the firs time singe she bad mee the little yfel, Fanctla wasn'e sure 110 do and even felt a Title afraid of the child whose moods seemed s0 unpredictable, Hille hadnt lookest ac her d since she had gor up dhis morning, and Fanclta Fale altaid that pechaps Ellie did like her after al However, she quickly cold herself thar she was che adult, ancl thac che child seas having to cope with a new situation which must be very strange to her. It was: no good being afraid ofthe child. She had to give Elle a sense of security. “Hl come upscairs with you, Fanclla said gently “and help you choose some clothes: OK? Come on.’ She held cout ber hand towards Elle. Slowlys Ellie ook it in one of hers, and put che thumb of uhe other hand int her mouth, Saying nothing, she followed Fanella upstairs. ‘She's not an easy child, is she” Teresa sid to Fanella chat aleeraoon. They weee sitting side by side on a park bench, Timothy and Ellie play, Bllie was faseer and stronger than ‘Timothy, and was cleaely enjoying the fact she eould climb higher on eh 1g fame, go-highee cn the swing, and jump off higher things than Timothy. “Timothy watched the giel in quiet admiration, Bile dearly enjoyed the face he was ienpresed and began co show off mote and mor. “Wall, she's hada hard le” Fanella veined Teresa. ‘T wouldn't expect her to be the most well-behaved child in the world.” “OF course non said Teresa, bur Panella could hear a note of disapproval in Toren voies Falls decided not to cell ‘Teresa about Ble’ huge 4“tantrum thar morning after the theatre, when she had ‘vated some sweets and Fane had refused wo buy them for het. She was longing co be able to talk co someune abou it But she was afraid "Tevest would think Fl not the right child for hers if she poineed! out any more problems. As she walked home later thar evoning, with Ellie's hand in hers, she couidn’c help but think what a very lonely joy it as aking on che responsibilicy for a chikl all by yourself When file was finally in bed and she had kissed bee good night, Fanella went downstairs to the sitcing. roan feeling exhausted. ‘To hor surprise and concern she found she fel like crying This was no hows she was supposed to feel now she had at last she should be dancing with happiness, Bur she couldn’ stop che eats om flowing, She ered out of el-pity for her own Tonetiness and out af pity for Eile, who had had sucl 2 lot to deal with in her short life, She cried out of fear that perhaps, afer all, she might woe be able co cope with the child and all the mixed! emotions she had brought with her. Normally, Fi the phone and call Teres, her best fe “Teresa cemed diffcule w clk «0, understand why Fanells fle s0-atached to Ellie, "There is no ‘except ne and “4 ne else, Fanlla sad to herself, no-one, | Chapter 7 Meeting Mark “The Faster holidays were just boginning when Elicgxme to live with Fane, “You'll have f0 go to school after the holidays, you sow’ Fala sol Ec Elle looked ar her and frowned all, were going 10 find yo oul fke chat one.” Panella sai The local school vas fall and, anyway, Tanella had doubts about how well Elie woukl fr in there. I¢ was a large school with 2 loc of children in each bss, and although Elie was eapable of sanding up co thems Fanella Fel sure she woul be happier ia a smaller class “Have you thought about Timothy's schoo” Teresa asked her on dhe phone one morning. ‘She could even go into Timothy's dass. Red i 50 good with problem eildven.” Fanella_was not sure how she shoul reace to this ‘comment, She did not consider Ele ‘problee’' child and fele upser that Teresa did, ‘On the other hand, she hada feng that Rod, who she had seen each and whose teaching style she admired, would get on very well with Ellie. Also, since theee was no swould be good for hee t I ie would provide some balance. The idea was not a bad one, and Fanella decided cophone the school later tha day. 6 hate school, she sid. 1ew school, 0 perhaps“By the way. ; Feresa continued, ‘I was woudering if you'd like to come to a dinner party next Saturday, You can bring Flic. She and Timothy can watch a video while we exe.” Fanella smiled. Ie was typical of ‘Teresa to think of everything. Teas along time since Fanella had been out in the evening. I would be good to spend time in adule company, knowing Elle was safe nearby. “Td love to, Thanks, Teresa, said Panella, Timothy seems o lke Elle very much,’ Teresa went on. “He's always asking ifshe ean come and play. “Elle likes Timothy, t00,’ Panella sid, ‘She'll ely look focward to next Sacurday.” As she put the phone dovin, Fanella fete ghd at the realisation that, no matter what Teresa said about Elie, she ‘was still avery good friend. Fanella and Ellic eycled over 10 Terect's house the next Saturday evening, Fanella had bought Elle a second-hand bike and a bike helmet, and she was a good evel. Elle ‘was so pleased abour the bicycle thae she fad been on her best behaviour ever since, Ako, now she had got to know ‘Timothy beter, they had become good friends. When the door to Teresa house opened, Timothy and Ellie ran straight upstairs together. ais Mark 4 colleague of Poulos Ties sil as fanella entered che sitting room and Paulo put a hss of wine in her hand. ‘And I chink you know Mary and Sin They've gota boy in Rod's cass atthe school "Hello,'said Fanela shyly Mark was eal, blond and very good-looking. Fanella wondered whether he was martied his rooen or had a partner le was not ofien she met a good-looking single man these days. She fle self-conscious ia front of hhim and turned instead to Mary and Simon, and. asked them about che school. “Oh, we highly recommend Rod asa teacher’ Mary said (o Fanclla, when she explained thae Bile would be going to the school. ‘He wonderful with the children, Billy loves him, and he's learnt such a lot sinee he’s been in his class. Hes rather ateractive, too, she said, smiling at her husband, "Yes her husband replied. ‘All the mothers are in love ‘vith their chilrens teacher, but he’s maried 10 a blonde beauty so we men fel quite safe.” Mark was quiet. The conversation obviously didnt interest him and Fanellt guessed he didn’ have children. ‘What she did nor notice, however, when they sat down 10 «eat, wat that he was watching and admiring er. Mark ied strong women and he had decided thar Fanelli must be very brave to adopra child on her own, Later on, as they had eoflee, Mark came and sit next ro Fanella, ‘It sounds as if you can't go out in the evenings how you've gor a chill. he said, ‘but pethaps we could have lunch together one day, when she's started school, Fanella was sueprised, ‘This was che fist time & man had asked her on a date for year! “Thank you, Td enjoy thas she si, feeling pleased and excited. By the time she and Ellie left, she had anranged to meet Mark for lunch two weeks lacer ata restaurant overlooking the river. By then Elle would have started school, and she would be back at work “So, what ddl you think” asked Teresa on the phone onSunday moming, wanting to know whether Fanella was interested in Mark or now “He seems realy nice, said Pell “Think he fked you, too." "Wall, he asked me out © lunch, once Ellie stared school, said Fane, “Oh good sid ‘feces, “This could be the beginning ofa teauuifil eladonship. Fane wasn 50 su Jc would be fan t go ou with a bu a relationship would be a lot to tke fn at the moment, while she wie sil geting to kx Ei and her ways. Ie cawnes om her thae this had been set-up: that Teresa hl asked her on parpors. ro ienrodace her to rill mind as she knew that Teresa oaly wanted 1 help and only interes she saan opportunity to make thern happier 1 was very strange approaching the schoo! on Hic’ fixe ‘moming. All the other mothers and fathers seemed to have ben doing ic for years. As it was her fine day; Fanclha waned co cake Lie tight into che dastoom and make sure she sexed in. Rod was therés ind se hoped speak to hi sxphain thae Ellie was worried about getting lost and not owing shar to do. Buc he vas deep in some kind of sonversicion = or was it an aggument? — wich another mother Fanella waited a while, Finding tha Rods presence sill caused her heart to race, She remembered whac had been said the dinner party however, about how all the mothers were in love with Rex and wed so pull herslf roger: Ac hot he reed himself roms dhe woman who had ad in people's lives when a8 bbeee shouting ac him about something, and came over to Fane vip his forehead. Hi, Elle’ he said, speaking «© the child fist, which Fanets was grate for Elie smiled up shyly ac hie "Would you lke co go and choose a reading book?” he asked her: “Fimohy wll be here soon, and I think you already know him” Elle did exactly as Rod asked herto do, and Fanella yas Some of her concerns 10 Rod out of the “but it’s because she's worried about doing the wrong thing, She docstt mean to be badly-behaved.” Rod's es just... Fanglla went on nervously, finding it difiute to explain dhe chit's character in a Few serences, "W she fare sure where she's meant 1 be, oF what she's ‘meant 10 be doing, she refuses 10 do anything Ht can seem 1s if she's being moody. Buc if everythings made: clear to her, she's very well-behaved,’ “He m. “Dont worry s0 en i here. Pie sure shell be fine." And he smile at her in such a Friendly way, ther somach did several tums. ’Cowe and ibe me a the end of the day. he added, and TM cell you how she got on. Fanella left feling relieved and very lucky to have such a ange teacher for Hie, She yor ro work Feeling happier than slhe hid done in ages. Ie was as some of the anxiery over Ellie had been Hike a Hike, now she had shared it with someone. ‘She tied otto tink ic wasaso because shel seen Roa 9agin and would see him every day now while Elie was in his class. The thought of heving lunch with Mark later on also made her cheerful, and she sing to berself ehroughout she moming. Several of her colleagues commented on her ‘good mood. “Ie certainly suits you being 2 mothen’ one of them said ‘Thaveate seen you look so well for ages! She was 2 little late arriving for her lunch date with Marl, and it was clear he was quire nervous, He must have chought that perhaps she wasn'r going to come, He ordered drinks and they sar looking at each other acrass the table Fanell discovered it was very etsy 10 talk to him, She cold him all about Steven, and abot Ellie, and about how hard it somerimes was being a single mother. Not just a single mother, bue che mother of an adopted child. Mark listened snl nodded, and Fanella founnd herself pouring ove all her troubles to him. He dida’e tell her much abour himself, apart from the face he had worked with Paulo's company for several years, but had only recently moved to Cambridge and didit know ivery well By the end of the lunch, Fanell realised she would like (0 sce him again. She wasn't sure if he would accept, but she took a deep breath and invited him over for dinner on. Saturday night “Vil cook for you,” she suid, feeling pleased to think ie ‘would be worth making an effort fo a change. She had gor into quite a boring routine lately, making simple meals for Elie and eating the same food herself. Ik would be nice 0 swale something special, she chought 50 Mark smiled at her. ‘Tl look forward to that, he said. Fanella, dizzy from drinking wine at Inncheime and excited ar the thought of seeing Mark again, eyeled back 10 work, smiling co herself all the way: 3Chapter 8 Trouble at school te bad been a long hard week for Rod, bur ic was Friday sroening and neatly the weekend, Danis mother cally seemed co wane to make trouble She had been going on and om about » bruise on Di which she seemed to think was someching to-do with Rod, though Rod had never touched the boy. Ie was more tha his job was worth 1 lay a fingse on a child, however anu they pushed your patience, as Daw certainly did, Hle vas alwys seartng fights and i wes hard not to physically pull him off the othee children, Rod parked his BMAV in the schoo! ear park and wene (0 get his classroom ready. He was looking forward to this evening, Leah and he were going to the theatre and out for a meal. Then they were going w have a quiet weekend togaher. They hid both heen so. busy lacey, they had Inara seen cach ether, miled as he saw Fanell approsching the classroom Ellie was lovely child, a ccal character. He wonlered why Fanella worried so much about her, though he supposed she was still gerting sed co being a paren. ke anust be had: he ellected, doing it on your evn, especially if ye child is not yours biologieily, Hic really seemed to enjoy coming. 40. school She alvwars went straight to the bool cornes, chose a ceading book and sctled down withour heing asked, Fanetla was 2 therefore much more relax about leaving her than she hac fest morning. i land waves as she left, and che other children ‘out the children’s names and wrote in the register, he was quite pleased co see chac Dan was absent. It meant there would be fewer coniicts and he woukd have a nicer day. eho Rod was just looking forward to his cup of coffee when ihe sar a trod ox the Shesens door ant te Ieadieacher, Mrs Greys walked quickly ia. She was 2 all woman with ashaup brown hale “Y need to sce you in my ro0 and disappested aga Rod cursed silently. One the head got you in her fic, she liked a good long, chat and you could say goodbye to, ag coffee. When it was time. he sene the ie for break and went and knocked on the he looked at hion seriously across her she said at bea ¢ your my ‘childeen Ireadeeache's door. desk, "Ym really sorey about this and J done wane you co think: for a minute dha I believe what has been sad’ she began. Bur there are legal procedures: andl we have 0 fallow the Rod frown and his heart jumpet a tie, This sounded serious and he had > horrible feeling. it might have ‘something to do.with Dan and his mother. The head took a deep breath I've hada phone call fom. Mes Bedrock, Dan’s owochen’ she said. ‘I expect you've rvticed Dan's aoc a selioal god.” “Ves. Ws quite a relch, actually’ said Red, hoping the sshead would share his humour, Bur she looked ae him even ‘more seriously, “Apparently. Dan has accused you of bruising his army and trying to hure him,’ said Mes Gees, looking at Red. Rod caised his hands in despair. “This has been going on alll week! he said, ‘His mother has been on and on about dat bruise on his arm which, as far as T know, he got Fighting with Tom one break dn i She wines to male trouble chs term. She thinks I favour the other ebildren, but she wont listea when I cell her Dasis behaviour is getcing worse and that he needs some extra suppor.” “Lkanow 1 ktow' sighed Mrs Grey. know Dar an his mother as well as you do, Youle not the fist teacher shes given this kind of trouble co. Bur Yn afraid she’ gone 10 the local education authority this time, This means we have no choice bur co suspend you unl you ate proved innocent in a disciplinary heating. “Suspend me?” Rod said in disheie “Yes; Vm afraid so,’ continued Mrs Grey. ‘You'll have 10 stop teaching for a while. You'll still be paid of course, but you must eave che school until this incident is sorted ou, Rod was silent. He could betieve wiat he was hearing. Suspend him! He hadn't done anything? Never had he felt so unfairly created. He had spent a lange pet of the school year eying t0 find positive things 10 sy abour Dan, and hha even giver him the stae role inthe Christmas ply. Slowly he began to realise chat if he was suspended from she school, his reputation would be damaged forever, even ‘fhe was eventually proved innocent. “L wane you 10 know that 1 do nor believe the accusation,’ said Mes Grey. ‘I have every confidence in you | 56 aa member of my staff and T consider i a huge loss chat Wve should have «@ do without you for any time at all, However I really dont have a choice. Rod gor up. Ta beter get back vo cass” he aid No Rod. Tm afraid we have to suspend you right nov. You'll have 10 go home: I'l be taking your elas for the est ‘of dhe day, and well gets temporary teacher for next week, for the next few werk, necessary Rod looked ar her He could see how sorry she was ~ it was written right acrose her face — hue ie was clear chere wasn going to bean easy way out of this ‘He went back to his classroom co pick up his bags and coat, then walked quickly, head bent, to the car park, Elle and ‘Timothy ran after hin "Where ate you going si key in the lock. ‘He looked at thsi eager friendly Faces as he climbed into the driver’ seat. “ve gor to go home, he said. “Mrs Grey will ceach you forthe est ofthe day ‘Anu he swallowed aad ashe watched their disappointed faces in his rear view mietor as he pulled out of the schoo! sates He drove fast out of towa. Ar Feast traffic was light, and it way a relief to be in open countryside, It fale strange to be ouside school in che mide of the moming. He could hardly believe what had happened. He knew that part of i was to do with his being aman, Women teachers riely got accused of child abuses men were always going to court frit ‘What he coulei’t sock out was why Dass mother was so determined ro believe herson. Surely she knew Dan was they asked, as he fed his this dime of day 55imalking it up to hide the fagt he had been in another fight? Did she eealise the consequences for Roc, 2s teacher, and iEshe did, why was she so determined to get rid of him? He had really done h ‘son —she must realise hist ‘Then he thought aboue che other children in the dass, the childeen he ha given so much cime and ateention co this year. He thought of Ellie, how attached to him she seemed to be and how she did not deserve any more inscabitiry in her fife. Te was a errible siwation for | ceveeybody. ‘As he pulled up outside his house, he wondered how Leah would react ro his being home ac chs time of day: He kenow she enjoyed having the house herself chey had ‘once tatked abour how hand it would be if they both worked at home. He pushed open the door and called her name, but there was no reply. She must be working in the garage or perhaps she was out with a client. He puc the kere on ~ he hadi even had his caffee that morning ~ and put some coffee | into the coffee pot. Then he went out co he garage vo sce if Leal was chete. She was there, bent over so c plans am her desk, Wha fon earth are you doing home?” she asked, not looking cxacily pleased to see him. His heart sank, He needed her, at least, to be kind 10 | ‘im today. ‘Something's happened,” he said in a low voice. “I dont suppose you could fake 2 coffee break and come and elk ro me in the kitchen?” Leah looked rather annoyed. ‘ve gor this to finish by | funchtime,’ she said. “si some kind of er 56 best ca be patient with both her and ber | “Yes! said Rod. Leah glanced back at her papers, chen gor ap. "I guess | sean take a few minutes’ she sad, seeing the desperate look ‘on het husband's face, “They went into the kitchen together and Rod finished making dhe coffee. Then he tlaced the story to Leah, “So I had to leave right then.’ he finished, ‘and come home. I don know how long it’s going to take to sore this thing out, but und they get tothe bottom of it, Fem affad TI beat home. ‘Leah patced him sympathetically: on the shoulder and then looked at him questioningly, And... you didn’? she asked dt what? asked Rod. “Hare the boy?” Rod looked at Leah in shock. “Leah!” he sai could you even ask har? “ies just that, in your situation, 1 Know 1 would sometimes feel like giving one of those children a good had slap” she said. ‘They must drive you mead?” Red looked at the woman he lived with and wondered enly whether they really knew cach other at all. ‘No, dit touch the boy. Leab, getting up, ‘thea surely dhs will soon be sorted out and you ean go back to work, Dont worn: darling’ she added, kissing him on the cheek. ‘Ac least you can have a rest ~ you certainly need it, Now. 1 must ger ‘back to work, Ive gor an appointment ac hunchtime.’ And she disappeared back ro the garage “How iyChapter 9 A difficult period ‘On Saturday evening, as she cooked in the kitchen, Fanclla was feeling very’ nervous about sect was in dhe font room watching 4 video, soumed Fanella felea bic gull people who thought ie was all right for endless TV, But she was beginning to realise char there ‘were simes when a good children's video worked wonders for a tired child, as well as a tied parentt They'd had a busy day, having been swimming and shopping round town, and Elle had been in an emotional state when they got home. She had criod when she heard Fanelhy was having grown-up friend for dinner, saying she didn’ want come. Fanella guessed this had something to do changes at school that week ~ Rod hadha't been there and temporary teacher had replaced him, Elie fiked d bbe predictable and she also liked Rou: no other teacher was as good as him in her view, So when Fanclla cold Ellie she was going (o meet someone new this evening. it was more than the child could sake, Fanella had solved the sivation by suggest they hire a video and Ellie had chosen Disney’ Cinderella, which she was now watching, However, Fanella rather wished Mark wasn’t coming. so that she could spend all evening with Ellie and then go to bed herself as she was feeling quite exhausted, 8 Ellie was in bed bby the time Mask arrived, but ie was noe Jong before hee cusly head appeared round the siting: foom door. She obviously wanted 10 have a look at Fanelli’ cw frend ‘Mark ditt sccm too pleased to see the child and made very litle effort co salk co her. Fanella began to fel tuncomforable. "Ge back vo bed Elie.” she said. ‘TM come up eamomen” ‘She dhought how differen it would have been iF Mark “had offered to read to Elli, so she could get on wich © preparing she meal. But he simply stretched his legs ou nd sa back in his chair wih his drink while Fanelia ook _Bilic back upstairs. Elli was noc going wo give in easily "Vn she said. ‘Can I come downstairs and watch "No, said Fanella firmly. "You are tir, Perhaps you dori chink yon ae, but you've hal a busy day “Will you read mea story? asked Elie, ‘Well, Laced vo go and gee dinner ready. 1 just read yous short one. But by the time she had read Ellie a story and feched “her a drink, a smell of burning was drifting up the stairs *Oh no! cred Fanella, “That's the food! be ruined” ‘She rushed dows, justin time to save the meal she had —caeflly prepared fiom going up in flames, Mark ae “politely, saying it was very nice, but Panella fele embarrassed. “Shouldn’e you try and get her to bed ‘earliee?” Mark asked her. ‘Children always push cheir luck if you give “them a chance.” Ie rurned our he had ewo children of his own, who lived ”their mocher and who he only saw every month, Held separated from his wife dhree years ago and she lived in Devon, so he couldn't sce his children more offen, “But | dort mind,’ he said. ‘We have a good ime when I do see them, and the rest ofthe dime U'm a free man!” ing what the children fee She wasn sure what co make of Mark, He was quiet and a good Tistener, but there was something a bic unkind about his atitude, both to Ellie and 10 his oven children, chac gave her reservations about him. ‘After the meal, she found heeself wishing he would just, leave 30 that she could gv to bed, and she had wo drop several hints abour how tired she was. ‘Tm not exactly snaking, myself attracrive to him,’ she thought, ‘going on abou hovr ired | am, bur 1 really do want (0 go to skp.” ‘She was afraid the evening had been a disaster, and hat he ‘would never want to see her again. But he sopped and bent down to kiss her, His kise was gentle, and suddenly Fanella wondered whether ir-was a mistake sending him away like this. “Can I see you again® he asked, 10 her surprise, and she was quite glad to beasked. ‘Perhaps another lunch would be eases’ she ssid, smiling, and he nodded. When he had gone, she went stright up co bed bur fourid she couldnt sleep. Too many thoughts were Hsing, ‘through her head. Did Mark want to have a relationship with her? Did she want co have a relationship with Marke And. if so, how would Ellie feel abour i@ Was Elie ‘going 10 be mote difficult, now she knew Fanella better? he doorway as he was about to lea 0 Why was Rod away from schoo? Would he ever come back? ‘As she began on drift into sleep, she dreamne char she was standing laughing in a park wacching Ellie playing happily | and that Mark had his arm around her. She fele complete for che first time in years, as if all her worries had floated aviay: She turned t0 lvok into dhe man’s face, only to ind that the man yeas not Matk at all. bur Rod Fanella had guessed correctly that this might be the beginning of a dificult period for Ellie, Iwas der Rod ‘wasn't coming back c schol very quielly. The parents ‘were told the cemporary teacher was going to continue tunsil half tom at least bur hey weren't told why. Elle had taken a rea dislike to this teacher andl was refusing 100 0 school in the mornings. “L jase done know what co do,’ Fanella. sid in desperation on the phone © Terest, ‘Can Feome andl talk co you” Te was along time since she and "Teresa had had a chanee 1 talon sheir own together: “Yes, come round. Come for Hach Said "Teves exper ‘She found her days alone at home long and lonely | sometimes, and was glad at the thought of some company. Famtella took some wine and went round wo Teresis “rouse, ‘All children behave like thac “Teresa told her “You mustn't think ifs to do with her being adopted.” “Yes just, well. she seemed! to settle in 90 quickly with Rod. and nov she scems be going backwards. What does Timothy think of the eemporaty teacher?” 6shouts sometimes, and is stricter thar Rod, worry him.’ said Teresa, "What's che matter with Rod?” Fanella asked. ‘Have you Ahead anything? Is he il Well, said Teresa slowly. hal mows to cll. "The gossip going around iy hat he hit that boy Dan hard enough 0 bruise him, Dan’ mother syent w the education authority and accused Rod of abusing her son. ‘They had no choice but to suspend him immediately, undil a court bearing finds him innocent, if they do... “Buc thas crv! said Panella, w never have done 2 thing ike that! ‘Well, chac's what most of us think,’ aid "Teresa. "But of course, there ate those who say they would’ blaine him for hicsing. chat chikl, Dams the kind of boy whe would Jnviously enjoying the Fact she cling. Rod could drive dhe most patient person in the world wit.” “Buc Rod is sa professional and so gentle. 1 could imagine some people lasing their heal and doing something silly, but not Rot” “Hm,” said eres, sgh infront of Fanella, “ti even if he # innocent, having this kind of scandal going round Cambridge.” “We really ought «© do something 10 help hin,’ said Fanella, ‘He is being created so until ‘Hes difficult eo prove that he is “Teresa, “The education authority places a lot of imporrance ‘on shar che child says” “Why would the child want to Ke like thae Panella. and placing a place of sad is cancer much good: nogent though,” said asked oe = the best rhing was 10g “pa Eli “Phat’s the big question’ said Teresa. “Ofcourse, he may not be ying.” Tiiv certain. he niust be, said Panella, ‘and ie males: me th che child, he’s probably juse doing whac hry mother tells hin to do, Js there some reason why she | mighr not like Rod?” Well, shes ie of the mothers who thinks he favours the © ich kids, said Teresa. ‘She thinks he doesnt Like her son because he's from a poor background.” at's nox arue, Rol Tikes id she’s not Fich "We know its noc suey sail Teresa, "Buc some people gee fixed ideas abou things like this. Anyway ‘so upset about this because you're sil iy love with Rod? ‘Not! said Fanella, itl t00 angrily. “Tay upset for Red, and because his absencé is giving me problems with Flic just when [ chonght she seuled down, Teresa looked at Fanella suspiciously. She kinew her fiend coo well to be completely fooled by what she was saying and felt slighty annoyed by dhe fact Panella, was hope you aren't © obviously scill artracteel 1 Roel. She dide’t know why ie annoyed hee, Afer all shed always had a similar feeling bout him. Iwas just at Fanelli always seemed 3 serious about chings, while Teresa had felt quite: lighthearted about her aeraction o Rod. “How's it going with Mark, anyway? she asked, deciding Fania off che subject af Rod, Fanelhs hesieated. lim nor sure, she sii “He's nice, ad starutive, bur I dont think he's gor much ine for Ee" “Tes you he should have time for! suid Teresa, "You cane «in every area of your life. Ifyou get on well wich him, shell ind a ay of iting in «“Ton secing him again next vee, "ssid Fanels, nor rally ‘wanting to tak abou it. So T guess Ill see how we get on then ‘Teresa smiled. ‘He's very good-looking int he che said “Handsome and rich. You could de worse. Anyway, I think you should stop worry 3 she gets used co this new teacher. Why done we take her and Timochy out his weekend and you could bring Mack? “Maybe! sil Farell, I'l give hina ring and see i he's fice: Bur as she loft Teresals house, she realised she fele no boereer than when shed arsived. ‘The things: shed Heard about Rod had relly upser hee. They couldn't be true! IF they wets, it meant shell complerely misjudged. his character, and she was usually preny good ae juuging charactez It ako seemed unlikely: he would be back at school very soon. Whaever Teresa said she doubted if was going to got used coche Cemporary teacher, She decided the only thing to do was to concencrate on Jer work, or she would go mad with worrying. Chapter 10 The brown envelope Things were going badly for Rod. Ic was another month ‘undl the court hearing and, in the meancime, he had been interviewel by various people trying to establish the facts. Mis lawyer believed they could win the ease, but there was no doubt the whole busin reputation. He dit enjoy being ac home every day either, and Leah obviously wanted the house back ro here “Can't you apply For another job? she asked his one sorning finding hirn in his dressing gown én the kitchen atten o'clock in the morning, She was dressed ip vo go out to an appointment and smelt of cht lovely perfume again, bur this time Rod bad no desite to comnene. “Tdos's wont another job,’ he sd. ‘I want my old job,” Sidon understand ss woukl damage his > said Leah. ‘Te was suessful, you've been teated so badly and, anyway, working with kids i any idea of hell “Well, wee different in thae way!” ssid Rod. ‘I loved some of chose children, U really felt I could make a difference o chet lives! “Doni gx emotional, sl Leth “Perhaps if we had 2 child oF our own, you'd understancl abit betes said Rod, This had become the cause of many arguments berweest thent lately, Being ac home every day had made Rod think about what ic would be like ro have cheir own child. A lor «6‘of mn stayed ax home co bring up oildren these dys. and jc was something he thought he wow enjoy. Bur Leah sidafe wane children, This hadn't wortia Rel before, bur row, as he approached forty, he eal wanted his ow child. He couldatt understand! how Lesh could be so sane she didn want them. ‘Onge she had left for her mecting, Rod were upstairs xa ‘gt dressed, Then he morives a heap of pape af the bedroom, He bene dows 10 pick them wp and reatised hey wore the children’s stories he had tried 10 write. Hed boon so buy over the last few months, Ine had completely frgonten about ther He sat on the bed reading through then. and thought they were Hoe too baal Then he remembered that he Hed asked Farell i she wout! ook a¢ them. Suddenly Be Fle btier He would spend the day going through the stories, making corecelons and improsing them. ft would give him a focus vo his al how much he He got diesed quiekly and wene dowwnstaey to st at she Kkigchen cable, He worksd eagerly all day, nit he heard Leas hey im the lock a seven o'clock. "Goh, what’ thi she sad, leaning. over his shoulder J looking at che story which lay on the top of the piles ‘Childress stories! Havent you had enough of children? Have you made any supper?” “Pye been too busy, I'm afraid said Rod. “Buy! You've nothing to do all day! she sail cross. come in tired and stresed, hoping my: supper would be ready? Rod sighed. He realised he could have made suppet, but he had Beea too iavolved in his stores co give ie any « though. Leal alvays seemed antoyed:with him these days, whatever he did. “1M go out and get a takeaway ¢ sald, exying co please sele-as lovely as exer, bat she moved assay from hin quick F Yes, OK. 1 Saney: somerhing nian’ she sid, ‘Can you peta “Anything for you!’ said Rod. and to his reli briefly Over the next few days, Rod worked enthusiastically on fis scoes, He had no eels how stuch time it would © take to get thea into supe. At Tas he fl hey were good cenongle en be rca by someone ese, He wished hed had the = chance woe them our ot hi ess before he posed them Tnstead. he had «0 imagine the childeen in his chss and ‘their reasons co the stories, This helped quite a bi, and fhe couldn help hliving here vas some porontal in iefahe smiled, ‘he it had caken fis mind off che subjec of mother and given a purpose to his day: When “he finally posted the stories, he felt a huge sense of hievement: even no-one ese liked them, hed done it Meanwile, Fanella wax struggling with the problem of She bad found the bese method of i 19 go to school wis 0 drop th c momning ane eave steaighe away: IF she hung “around for lo would hold ono hes, making the hing worse. The possibility tha the legalisation of jon would nor be finaise, Pit was seen that Ellie happy, was always at the bade of her ewinnl, Yet, @dlespite the heartache Elle gave he, Fanelta had grown 1a lowe her dearly. and she couldn't bear che thought of rot having her in her life permancl Quite ofen, inthe monsings, Eli would x basi Fanella a radio ani twas tiene to gee up. An at che weekends thoy had a gra rime together. le ws only school that threw @ shadow over ther life rogesher, "To stop herself from woreying, Fanella concenvrated on ber work. She felt sense of tlie as she left the schoo! for the mow peaceful atmosphere of the office, Then she | Ps 7 4 worked han the club she atended afier school, One moenings as she artived at the office, she was surprise 10 find a large brown envelope siting om her ds, ‘For the Perional Attention of Fane Baowning’ was | ‘written in capital lectersaceos the top. i Te took her a litle while to sealse who the bundle of storice ws from, She had completely forgoucn about her conversation with Rod in the pul gaiden last September, when hel told her thar heid wriwen some storie For ildren. fe Flv stange to have then: here in front of hes when she hadn'e seen Win for so long and knowing what | hed beem accused of, Bue she wae pleased held sees Looking chrougls them, she was impresied. Rod clearly had an underscaraing. of what interested childrens his | language was appropriate and the stecies had an originality ‘which would make them sell. She was quite excited 10 have them, although she knew there were numberof stages to 0 through before she could offer hion a conerace, She would have to cake them to an editorial meeting then 16.4 was time co go and pick Flite wp Goon 68 sales meeting, and get approsal from both of these. But in the meantime, there were a few chariges she woul to make, She would have ro arrange a mocting with hin Hic phone aurmber was ac the top ofthe leter and acer thar day she dialled it, Her heart beac louly a8 she waiced for his ceply, and she realised she was shaking she picked ep the phone. ‘This was ridiculous She vas simply pecforming a professional task les Fandl,' she sid, noc sure whether she should use her surname too. 6 give a more profesional fel to the phone eall, Buc i seemed silly ro be too formal when she had seen him every morning few weeks ago at school. “Hit he sid, sounding a Hide shy himself | received your stories,” wont on Fanella, feeling more confident now. “I tiked qhem very: much,’ she sid. "Buc there are afew changes we'll aced to discuss before V ean offer yous eomeraet “Oh, thats great!” stid Rod. He hadi expected such quick reply 1 his eter and he certainly hadnt been at all contident about his Sories being well recived, OF couse, it helped thar he'd met Fanells, and he hoped she wasnt just being kind co hin becouse hell caught her child, He realised she'd probably heard about the accsation that heid bicDan and he wondered what she thought about i ‘Can you come to the offive for anch .. or -. «come £0 think of i we coukl meet somewhere more convenient, 4 restaurant or something? std Fanella, fle serge, as if she was asking him out on a date “Tin new wo this,’ stil Rod, “You decid “Shall we meer next Tuesday at Brown” asked Panella ®She liked Browels. Ie was alvays busy. but the food was ood and the cables big enough to work a. ‘OK, said Rod. "That sounds fine, What time? ‘Lets say...’ Fanela did a quick mental calculation in her head. IF she made it to0 late, they would not have rruch time together before she had to pick Flic up ftom school. ‘Shall we say ewelve-thirty?” “Great! said Rod. ‘Tl see you thea? ‘Wow?’ thought Fanella. ‘Lunch with Rod!" ‘The fact thar ie was a professional meeting did no to stop her excitement at the thought of seeing him again for the first cime in weeks, *” Chapter 11 Lunch with Rod Jewas 2 wet morning, The rain poured down, Fanella had ded to work and had planned to cycle to the restaurant 10 meet Rod, bur now realised she would arrive looking a mess. She decided 10 get there early, so that she could tidy herself up in the cloakroom before Rod arrived By the time he did turn up, ten minutes late, she was feeling calm. She had already had a Martini to calm her nerves and she ordered! Rod an orange juice a his request: "They then sat and looked at cach other across the cable for a few seconds before Panella spoke. “L must say that I'm very sorry you've not been at school these last few weeks, she began, wanting to got the subject cout of the way quickly. “Ellie has missed you a lot. You really helped her secle in, and she's been taken back « for steps by the temporary teacher who doesnt seem to have ‘your patience.’ Rox! smiled sadly. ‘i's been a diffcule time for me, e90, he said. “Is the last hing I wanted for Fite or for any of the children. Bur schools are requited to Follow procedures in cases like this: i's 0 protect the “Yes, know’ sal Fanela, ‘Bu ic isnt protecting them if you dide’t do anything wiong. I?’s doing then more harm than good. “Well, hopefully, once there's been a court hearing, I'l be back,’ ssid Rod. nFanela smiled. ‘Um site you wil’ she stid. ‘Most of the parents are behind you i Rod smiled again, appreciatvely. hope you're right,” he said. It was the first contact hed had with any of the parents since his suspension, and he suddenly realised what an enormous relief it was to be able to mention the subjec. 1 his mind, everyone had turned against him. The realcy was lesly quite different, Fanclla, aware of the sensitivity of the ise and anxious 4 move on from the subject, went on, ‘Now, we need (0 discuss these stories. [like them very much and believe they could do well. Have you thoughe about illustrations ac all “‘Thadn'e gor that fa sid Rod, “Tthink they could work wel a picrute books, went on Fanella, for he slighty older child who's beginning to read independently. But welll nee to adjuse she lengch of some of them and one of two other detals if theyre 10 appeal 10 aan international marke! Rod could hardly belive his ears. International market Itustavons! te all sounded so rouch grander chan hed imagined. He fle hugely grateful to Falla for having 50 ‘uch faith ia im, but there vas still a worrying doub a the back of his mind, If he was found guilty of hurting Dan, if the authority went against him, surely Fanella oF her publishers, wouldn' want to take him on 353 children’s author. He would be seen as a corrupting influence. I wouldn't do their sales any good at all to have their name ‘eonnceted to a child abuser, Ac that moment, the wa ‘They atein silence for a fw arrived with their food utes. Fanela looked up at Rod. wondering what was going on in his mind. He suddenly seemed very quiet, and she wondered if she'd said something co upset him, Perhaps he didn‘ like the idea of having to change his stories. Some authors never wanted to alter any of theie precious works even if their edivors knew ic would hep «sell the books. “Are your all right" she said at last, unable to bear the silence any longer Rod glanced up at her. He sat back in his chair and cook a deep breath. "Look,’ he said. ‘Al this is very exciting foe me ~ the thought of having my stories publihed, of becoming a childien’s author. To tell you the truth, it's one of my lifetime ambitions, But | can't help feeling pethaps this isat a good time to be atiemptin You know, my name could be mud ina few weeks ad you treter taking me on.” Fanella put her knife and fork down and looked at the handsome sensitive face across the table. Goodness, how he made her heart race! She would like to lean across and kiss him then and there. His deep dark eyes looked into hers, as if espera for some reassurance, and seemed to hint ac n ‘equally deep soul. She couldn't have fle more certiin that this man would be the last man on earth to hurt a fede boy, however annoyed he might have been. ‘1...As far as 'm concemed, there's no question abou your innocence,’ she burst out. ‘I rust my feelings abour Poople, It's how I knew Ellie woul be the right child for ime, Ie’ haw I knew you'd be the tight teacher for hex’ “Its how 1 know you're the right man for me,’ she