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STUDENT #: 437177
Writing Pretest
9/11/20

At midnight on March 30, 2018, after months of preparation and anticipation, I grabbed

my suitcase, waved goodbye to my parents, and boarded a plane to Port au Prince, Haiti,

alongside my youth group. A year prior, this trip would not have been possible for me. A year

prior, I would not have been healthy enough to survive a week away from my family because I

was too busy starving myself and running myself into the ground. Back then, the thought of

leaving my family for the first time in my life, being in a foreign country, unable to work out, and

having to eat whatever food was placed in front of me, would have sent me into panic. But now,

with twenty-four hours of travel ahead of me, and dozens upon dozens of therapy sessions

behind me, I anxiously awaited what would be one of the most impactful and miraculous weeks

of my life.

In the spring of 2018, I was diagnosed with Anorexia Nervosa, an eating disorder that

turns your mind against your body. At the time, I was spending hours every day running,

tracking calories, counting everything I ate, and telling myself I was not enough; my entire being

became contaminated by this illness. Fortunately, my therapist and family realized that I was no

longer myself and needed immediate help. When I started attending the Youth of the Chapel for

Christ, a Christian youth group, and received the opportunity to go on a mission trip to an

orphanage in Haiti, I was ecstatic. However, I had a very real challenge in front of me: to

recover enough within only a few months and become mentally well enough to surrender the

control I had over food and exercise.

Thankfully, taking a risk and pushing myself to go to Haiti two years ago paid off

tremendously. While overseas, I spent my time playing with the children at the orphanage
DO NOT PUT YOUR NAME ON THIS PRETEST; JUST PUT YOUR STUDENT # ON IT. BE
AWARE THAT OTHER STUDENTS WILL READ WHAT YOU WRITE.
and learning about God beside them. There was an inexplicable warmth in everything said and

done and felt that week, something I had never experienced until then and have not

experienced since then. It was as if love became tangible in the words we spoke and the hands

we held; I saw it in everything around me, and for the first time in a very, very long time, I saw it

inside myself too. Being in Haiti taught me that the most beautiful and valuable matters in life--

the things that we all yearn for-- are completely independent of the way that we look. In fact,

wasting all of myself on the pursuit of perfection had rid my life of any of the joy and peace that I

so desperately craved. It was in Haiti that I finally realized what truly matters in life, and that the

number on the scale has never been one of those things.

I have never been much of a risk-taker, but taking a leap of faith in Haiti left a lasting

impact on me and the way that I view myself. Being literally thousands of miles out of my

comfort zone was the perfect way to grow. Not only did I return to the United States with life-

long friends and amazing memories, but I returned having conquered the fear that my

appearance would determine the level of happiness and connection in my life. My mission trip

will remain an example to me that I do not need to shrink myself to make room for joy in my life;

for this I am eternally grateful, and I will continue to search for more opportunities to challenge

myself because the biggest risk of my life ended up being the best choice I have ever made.