Module 4.

Responding to the Call of the

Kingdom of God in Relationships:
Love, Family, and Sexuality
Framework
 Topics
A. Love as Fundamental Vocation
B. The Family: Cradle of Life and Love
C. Sexuality: The Totality of the Human Person
D. Homosexuality and the Church
 A. Love as Fundamental Vocation
a. Man and Woman, the Image of the God Who is Love
God created man in His own image male and female He created them.
(Genesis 1:27). Creating humankind in his image God inscribed in the
humanity of man and woman the vocation, and thus the capacity and
responsibility, of love and communion. Love is therefore the
fundamental and innate vocation of every human being. (Familiaris
Consortio #11)
b. Love as the Greatest Commandment.
God is love (1 John 4:8) and in Himself he lives a mystery of personal
loving communion. In response to the question about the first of the
commandments, Jesus says: "The first is, 'Hear, O Israel: The Lord our
God, the Lord is one; and you shall love the Lord your God with all your
heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind, and with all your
strength.’
The second is this, 'You shall love your neighbor as yourself.' There is no
other commandment greater than these." (Catechism of the Catholic
c. Marks of a Genuine Love (1 Corinthians 13: 4-7
1. Love is patient… (1 Corinthians 13:4)
Love expands your capacity to put up with difficult
people and desperate situations.

That’s a wonderful thing because you can’t live in this

world without coming across difficult people and
desperate situations.
If you expect that everybody is going to care for you and
seek the best for you in this world, you are going to be
disappointed.
Jesus said, “In this world you will have trouble!” Living in
this world, you have to develop the capacity to handle the
injuries, disappointments, frustrations, let-downs,
conflicts, and offenses that you will experience
throughout the course of your life.
c. Marks of a Genuine Love (1 Corinthians 13: 4-7
1. Love is patient… (1 Corinthians 13:4)
Love expands your capacity to put up with difficult
people and desperate situations.

That’s a wonderful thing because you can’t live in this

world without coming across difficult people and
desperate situations.
If you expect that everybody is going to care for you and
seek the best for you in this world, you are going to be
disappointed.
Jesus said, “In this world you will have trouble!” Living in
this world, you have to develop the capacity to handle the
injuries, disappointments, frustrations, let-downs,
conflicts, and offenses that you will experience
throughout the course of your life.
c. Marks of a Genuine Love (1 Corinthians 13: 4-7
1. Love is patient… (1 Corinthians 13:4)
Love expands your capacity to put up with difficult
people and desperate situations.

That’s a wonderful thing because you can’t live in this

world without coming across difficult people and
desperate situations.
If you expect that everybody is going to care for you and
seek the best for you in this world, you are going to be
disappointed.
Jesus said, “In this world you will have trouble!” Living in
this world, you have to develop the capacity to handle the
injuries, disappointments, frustrations, let-downs,
conflicts, and offenses that you will experience
throughout the course of your life.
2. Love is kind. It does not envy. (1 Corinthians 13:4)
Scripture always brings us down to earth. We like to flatter
ourselves about our character, but God’s Word searches us out.
If I asked, “Do you love your best friend?” most of you would say,
“Yes I really love my best friend.”
But if I asked, “Are you generous to your best friend?” there
would probably be a range of different answers.
Love is kind. Love is generous. The degree to which you are
growing in kindness is the degree to which you are growing in
love.
Someone has said that “the greatest thing a man can do for his
Heavenly Father is to be kind to some of his other children.”
If you want to grow in love, try to bring pleasure to those God
has placed around you in every way that you can. Grow in love,
and you will be released from envy. Cultivate a generous spirit,
and you will be blessed.
3. Love does not boast. It is not proud. It is not self-seeking. (1
Corinthians 13:4-5)
The word that is translated “proud” here literally means “a wind bag.”
This is a person whose conversation is mainly about himself or herself.
There’s a phrase that’s sometimes used to describe this kind of person:
He was a missionary to the “When I” tribe: “When I did this, and when I
did that…”
When a man begins to boast, he is advertising his emptiness and his
ignorance. There is no swagger about love. It is too big for that.
The Lord Jesus Christ never ‘showed off.’ His greatness was revealed not
merely in what He displayed, but in the things.
He suppressed. (Alan Redpath, The Royal Route to Heaven: Studies in
First Corinthians, Fleming H Revell Co., 1993).
3. Love does not boast. It is not proud. It is not self-seeking. (1
Corinthians 13:4-5)
The word that is translated “proud” here literally means “a wind bag.”
This is a person whose conversation is mainly about himself or herself.
There’s a phrase that’s sometimes used to describe this kind of person:
He was a missionary to the “When I” tribe: “When I did this, and when I
did that…”
When a man begins to boast, he is advertising his emptiness and his
ignorance. There is no swagger about love. It is too big for that.
The Lord Jesus Christ never ‘showed off.’ His greatness was revealed not
merely in what He displayed, but in the things.
He suppressed. (Alan Redpath, The Royal Route to Heaven: Studies in
First Corinthians, Fleming H Revell Co., 1993).
4. Love is not self-seeking”
It means that when you are growing in love, you don’t always have
to get your own way.
A person of selfish spirit is ready to make much of the afflictions
that he himself is under, as if his privations or sufferings were
greater than those of anybody else. (Jonathan Edwards, Charity
and Its Fruits: Living in the Light of God's Love, Crossway, 2012).
The person who is self-seeking makes much of his or her own
difficulties and, as a result, becomes insensitive to the needs and
pain of others. Love is not self-seeking.
Do you want to grow in love? Stop being obsessed with yourself.
Start taking a genuine interest in other people. Love will release
you from preoccupation with yourself.
 5. Love is not rude. (1 Corinthians 13:5)
If you are in a situation where love is burning low, then this is the
simplest place to begin. Courtesy! Love is not rude.
Practice courtesy in the way that you speak: Please, Thank you, I’m
sorry, or Well done! Courtesy is like oil in the machinery of human
relationships. Practice courtesy in the way that you listen.
We all know what it is to barge in on what another person is saying
with what we want to say. But love is not rude. Courtesy says, “I will
listen. I am interested in what this person is saying. I value what
they think.”
Practice courtesy in the words you withhold: It is easy to slip into
the habit of speaking about people we love in a way that highlights
their faults and their weaknesses. “Oh, he’s always like that.” If you
truly love someone, you will want others to think the best of them.
Don’t bring out the worst in the person you love. Love covers over a
multitude of sins. Courtesy is discreet. Practice courtesy in the words
you withhold.
6. Love is not easily angered. It keeps no record of wrongs. (1
Corinthians 13:5)
Love is not easily provoked, not irritable, not touchy, and not easily
upset or offended. Do people feel that they have to handle you
with kid gloves? Do they feel cautious to speak to you freely
because they are not sure how you will react?
It is not love that makes you like that. In Jesus’ story about the
prodigal son, there was an older brother who stayed at home. He
was dutiful, loyal, hard-working, and upright, but there was a
coldness in his soul. When the father threw a party for his wayward
brother who had returned home, the older brother “became angry,
and refused to go in” (Luke 15:28).
Bad temper is a sure sign of a poisoned soul. Have you ever caught
yourself reacting sharply and then said to yourself, “Now why did I
do that?” If you are burning on a short fuse, it tells that something
has gone sour within you. What can you do about that?
7. Love is not easily angered. It keeps no record of wrongs. (1
Corinthians 13:5)
Love is not easily provoked, not irritable, not touchy, and not easily
upset or offended. Do people feel that they have to handle you
with kid gloves? Do they feel cautious to speak to you freely
because they are not sure how you will react?
It is not love that makes you like that. In Jesus’ story about the
prodigal son, there was an older brother who stayed at home. He
was dutiful, loyal, hard-working, and upright, but there was a
coldness in his soul. When the father threw a party for his wayward
brother who had returned home, the older brother “became angry,
and refused to go in” (Luke 15:28).
Bad temper is a sure sign of a poisoned soul. Have you ever caught
yourself reacting sharply and then said to yourself, “Now why did I
do that?” If you are burning on a short fuse, it tells that something
has gone sour within you. What can you do about that?
You need a fresh filling of the love of Christ. Love will help you to
exercise restraint on the frustrations that you feel. It will help
you to keep your poise when you are provoked.

Love is not easily angered. Then love’s restraint is seen in this: It

keeps no record of wrongs. Love is selective in its recall. Love will
choose to remember the good about a person, rather than to
dwell on the wrongs they may have done.
8. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. (1
Corinthians 13:6)
Love finds no pleasure in other people’s failures. Love always thinks the
best. It never presumes the worst. Have you ever found yourself jumping
to conclusions, only to discover that you had completely misjudged a
situation?
Elijah presumed the worst when he came to the conclusion that the
erosion of faith in Israel had become so desperate that he was the only
one left who truly worshipped the Lord.
But when God told him the truth, it turned out that there were 7,000 who
had not turned the knee to Baal. Elijah came into the house of the Lord
and saw a woman called Hannah. She was praying in her heart, so her lips
were moving, but there was no sound.
Eli presumed the worst, and he was quite sure that she was drunk. He
decides to confront her: “How long will you keep getting drunk. Get rid of
your wine!”
Then he found that he had completely misjudged the situation and that
this was a godly woman who was pouring out her soul to God in prayer,
and God was listening.
9. Love always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always
perseveres. (1 Corinthians 13:7)
The Greek word for “protects” is stegei, which literally means “to cover”
and includes the idea of protecting and preserving.
“Protects” shares something with the other three actions of love in verse 7
(trusts, hopes, and perseveres): in the original language, all four words
end with the same sound, creating a poetic rhythm and a pleasing
phonetic iteration. God’s type of love protects.
That is, it watches out for others. It withstands difficulty. And, if there is a
shortcoming or fault in the loved one, love has the ability to cover it (see
Proverbs 10:12).
One of the marks of love is that it always seeks to protect the loved one.
This doesn’t mean that we excuse wrongdoing or seek to evade the
natural consequences of sin; it means that we strengthen what is weak,
shield what is vulnerable, and forgive what is provoking.
Love is not based on selfish desire or even mutual benefit; rather, it
seeks the benefit of the other person. Love aims to give rather than
receive. Notice the word “always.” Love is consistent. And it never
gives up.
God is calling us to live like this, not just on Sundays, high days,
and holidays, but every day. Love is not an occasional gesture but
an obvious aspect of character. (Seven Distinguishing Marks of
Genuine Love by Colin Smith,
http://unlockingthebible.org/2016/02/distinguishing-marks-
genuine-love/)
Love is not based on selfish desire or even mutual benefit; rather, it
seeks the benefit of the other person. Love aims to give rather than
receive. Notice the word “always.” Love is consistent. And it never
gives up.
God is calling us to live like this, not just on Sundays, high days,
and holidays, but every day. Love is not an occasional gesture but
an obvious aspect of character. (Seven Distinguishing Marks of
Genuine Love by Colin Smith,
http://unlockingthebible.org/2016/02/distinguishing-marks-
genuine-love/)
 B.The family: cradle of life and love
One of the various ways for a successful preparation to a
lifelong commitment.
How do I prepare myself for a life of commitment
Commitment is not a very “sexy” word or concept but it
probably has more to do with making marriages work than
anything save common values. It’s not just about saying
marriage vows or having a piece of paper that says
“marriage license.” Commitment is important because we
act differently when we know that our futures.
1. The most common element that is being shared by these
disciplines: PSYCHOLOGY THEOLOGY SOCIOLOGY point
out to the process of undergoing an authentic
discernment.
PSYCHOLOGY
Emotional maturity and emotional intelligence are key
factors in maintaining healthy relationships—romantic
or otherwise. -
“Why Emotional Maturity and Emotional Intelligence
Are Important for Healthy Relationships” by Monique
Judge.
THEOLOGY
Christian spouses and parents can and should offer their
unique and irreplaceable contribution to the elaboration
of an authentic discernment in the various situations
and cultures in which men and women live their
marriage and their family life. - Familiaris Consortio by
POPE JOHN PAUL II.
SOCIOLOGY
The social construction of society holds that people,
through their actions, create society, then forget what
they create, and are controlled by that society they
have created .
Social norms operate to build society, maintain society,
and challenge society. Whether or not we adhere or
follow the norms of our society, we are participating in
society, to either maintain it or challenge it. - The
Social Construction of Reality by Peter L. Berger and
Thomas Luckmann.
Discernment is the ability to judge which things of a
particular kind are good and which are bad.
Maturity leads to being able to handle well whatever
responsibilities we have.
Discernment is the ability to judge which things of a
particular kind are good and which are bad.
Maturity leads to being able to handle well whatever
responsibilities we have.
Social Doctrine of the Church
1. Compendium of the Social Doctrine of the Church speaks of the
"social subjectivity of the family."
By its very nature, the family is tied into society and is therefore
subject to the laws of social life. Uniquely, the family is the
fundamental cell where human life is transferred from generation to
generation, almost in a manner that a baton is passed from runner to
runner in a relay race.
"The family contributes to the social good in an eminent fashion
through responsible motherhood and fatherhood, the spouses'
special participation in God's work of creation." (Compendium, No.
232) For this reason, civil society--including the State--is obliged to
assure that its customs and laws support it.
Most fundamentally, neither the State nor civil society may impinge
or in any manner "violate the right to life, from conception to natural
death." Rather, the civil society and the State are obliged to "protect
and promote it." (Compendium, No. 231).
2. Communication and Managing Conflicts / Characteristics of a Healthy
Family Relationship
Although every family is different, there are certain characteristics that
healthy families share. The quality of the relationship is more important
than family configuration. A healthy family relationship provides
members with the support, encouragement and empathy that they need.
A strong family can be a source of emotional support, love, security and
protection, which makes the challenges and trials of day-to-day living
easier to face.
a. Good Communication
Healthy families engage in positive and meaningful communication.
Family members listen to and genuinely care about what the others are
saying. In healthy families, communication is on a deep enough level that
all members are able to share their feelings, goals, accomplishments and
experiences.
When feedback and constructive criticism are given, love and affection
are made clear by the use of positive words. Not only do they
communicate with each other, but healthy families also work at developing
constructive communication skills.
This includes learning to be open and honest, but still speaking in a
loving manner (Ephesians 4:15)—focusing on the kind of conversation
that builds others up rather than the type that tears them down
(Ephesians 4:29); listening carefully, without distractions; and not “mind-
reading” or jumping to false conclusions when another person is
speaking. By practicing good communication skills, family members
show they respect and are genuinely interested with one another.
b. Commitment to the Family
Every family will have their differences; there will be difficulties,
disagreements, trials and troubles. Strong families like every other
families have their share of problems also. They experience setbacks, have
their share of disappointments they get laid-off and can’t find a new job.
They struggle to make ends meet. However, despite all of this what sets
them apart is that they don’t give up on each other when circumstances
become strained or unpleasant, or when the other party disappoints them
or lets them down.
They are dedicated to each other and are committed to each
other—through good times and bad. They don’t stay together
when things are good but are each other throat or abandon each
other when time gets rough. Rather than let hard times destroy
them or their relationships, strong families work together to
correct problems.
c. Respect and Appreciate One Another
Respect is an important characteristic of healthy families. Family
members accept that they each have their own personalities, qualities
and interests. Everyone plays an important role in the family. When
there is conflict between family members, it is resolved in a positive and
healthy manner.
Family members also acknowledge each other's accomplishments and
show appreciation for other members. Appreciation helps motivate
family members to continue to behave in a positive way toward each
other.
It also helps build confidence within a person, so we have the
wherewithal to meet obstacles that are inevitably going to come our
way. This should be express often, both verbally and with meaningful
gestures.
This might be done by telling your spouse how much you enjoyed the
dinner he or she prepared, or by saying “thank you” to your children
after they cleaned the kitchen. But appreciation shouldn’t be limited to
thanking others for what they do for you. Let family members know
d. Lastly,
it must be noted that no family is perfect, each have their faults and
each member have to understand their individual roles and want they
take to the take.
Each member also have to work on their own self. No human being will
be a perfect parent, spouse, son, daughter or sibling. If your family lack
any of these qualities do not despair. What matters most is that you are
striving to have good family relationships.
Understanding the traits of healthy families is the first small step. -
(Revilla, Lauri, Characteristics of a Healthy Family Relationship, 2017,
https://www.livestrong.com/article/55800-characteristics-family-
relationship/; Eston Swaby, 7 Characteristics of Healthy Families,
http://www.biblewaymag.com/7-characteristics-of-healthy-families/)
5. Lastly,
it must be noted that no family is perfect, each have their faults and
each member have to understand their individual roles and want they
take to the take.
Each member also have to work on their own self. No human being will
be a perfect parent, spouse, son, daughter or sibling. If your family lack
any of these qualities do not despair. What matters most is that you are
striving to have good family relationships.
Understanding the traits of healthy families is the first small step. -
(Revilla, Lauri, Characteristics of a Healthy Family Relationship, 2017,
https://www.livestrong.com/article/55800-characteristics-family-
relationship/; Eston Swaby, 7 Characteristics of Healthy Families,
http://www.biblewaymag.com/7-characteristics-of-healthy-families/)
C. Sexuality: The Totality of the Human Person
1. The first story of creation is found in Genesis 1,1-2,4a.
It belongs to the so-called Priestly Tradition (P) of the Old
Testament.
It aims at a complete logical classification of beings whose
creation is deliberately fitted into the framework of a week,
which loses with the Sabbath day of rest.
This Priestly account of creation presents the human persons
as created sexed, that is, male and female, so that they may
be fruitful and may increase in number. Therefore it
emphasizes the procreative dimension of human sexuality.
The second story of creation is found in Genesis 2,4b-25. This
belongs to the so-called Yahwistic tradition (J) of the Old
Testament.
The focus of this older creation narrative is the good of the
spouses themselves, thus highlighting the unitive dimension
of human sexuality. God’s motive for creating woman is that
it is not right that the man should be alone and he needs a
suitable helper to be his companion, the woman.
Symbolisms in the Creation of Adam and Eve in Relation to
Sexuality. Forming the woman from man’s rib, drawn from
his side, signified her status of equal dignity with her
partner.
The woman was not taken from man’s head; otherwise she
would be over man. Neither was she taken from the man’s
foot; otherwise she would be under man. But God took her
from his side, midway down his torso so she would be his
companion.
Sleep is symbolic of the mystery wrapping the divine gift.
Mystery has a twofold significance. First, it means the
element of darkness that wraps the partnership of husband
and wife. A spouse would never fully understand the other.
At the same time, mystery also means that there would
always be something new for the spouses to discover in their
marriage
Boredom and monotony are the symptoms that the marriage
is not true anymore to its nature as mystery – and for this
reason is at the brink of its end.
2. What is Sexuality?
Sexuality refers to the totality of the human person. It is the
way people experience and express themselves sexually.
This involves biological, physical, erotic, emotional, social, or
spiritual feelings and behaviors.
It captures the way we relate to God, to others, and even to
our own selves.
Our sexuality determines our way of thinking, of feeling,
and of acting. We can say then that human sexuality has a
twofold dimension:
,

1. procreation [for the sake of the children and

2. union [for the sake of the spouses themselves.
They are two inseparable elements. If human sexuality is to
be considered as a language that communicates the message
of genuine love, then procreation and union are its two basic
grammatical rules.
The absence of one or the other – or of both – would result
in a grammatically erroneous piece of literature that fails to
convey the message intended.
2. Norms for Just Love and Just Sex
Love is just and true when:
1. it does not falsify or "miss" the reality of the person loved
either as human or as unique individual.
2. when it does not falsify or "miss" the reality of the one
loving, and
3. when it does not violate, distort, or ignore the nature of the
relationship between them.
Seven-point framework/criteria/norm for evaluating whether a
sexual relationship is true, loving and just:
a. Do no unjust. It begins from the premise that one of
our primary moral duties is to avoid doing.
b. Free consent. It means to agree without coercion,
without being forced, and threatened.
c. Mutuality. It is the sharing of a feeling, action, or
relationship between two or more parties.
high degree of mutuality of respect for each
other’s expertise.
d. Equality – It is state of being equal, especially in
status, rights, and opportunities."an
organization aiming to promote racial
equality
"
e. Commitment - It is the state or quality of being
dedicated to a cause, activity, etc..
"the company's commitment to quality."
f. Fruitfulness - producing good results; beneficial;
profitable: fruitful investigations.
g. and social justice – A fair and just relations between
the individual and society.
The first two norms (1. do no unjust harm and 2. free consent )
consider whether the relationship is harmful and whether both partners
have freely consented to the relationship.
The framework then asks whether the relationship is marked by(3.
mutual desire), trust and self-disclosure.
Building on that is the norm of (4. equality), which requires that both
partners share an equality of power that in no way entails an unequal
vulnerability, dependence or limitation of options.
The final three norms (5. commitment 6. fruitfulness 7. and social justice)
consider whether there is a true commitment, which Farley defines as a
union marked "by knowing and being known, and loving and being
loved.“
If there is commitment, the question must be asked whether the
relationship fulfills the (sixth norm of fruitfulness). That is, does the
commitment bring about new life by nourishing other relationships and
by providing goodness and beauty to the wider community.
Finally, Farley asks whether a relationship is marked by social
justice.
By social justice, she not only means justice between sexual
partners, but respect for all persons in a community. For an
individual relationship to be just, it must respect every person's
needs for acceptance, well-being and spiritual safety. - Farley,
Margaret. Just Love: A Framework for Christian Sexual Ethics.
Bloomsbury Publishing USA, 2008.
D. Homosexuality and the Church
Meaning of Sexuality
Sexuality is an integral part of who we are, what we believe, what
we feel, and how we respond to others. It is the way people
experience and express themselves sexually. This involves
biological, physical, erotic, emotional, social, or spiritual feelings
and behaviors.
Types of sexuality

Straight/Heterosexual
Attracted mostly to people of the opposite sex or gender.
Gay/Homosexual
Attracted mostly to people of the same sex or gender
(refers to guys – and often to girls, too).
Lesbian
Attracted mostly to people of the same sex or gender
(refers to women).
Asexual
Not really sexually attracted to anyone.
Some people also choose the labels ‘queer’
or ‘fluid’ as a way of expressing themselves
by their own personal feelings.
Polysexual
Attracted to romantic and sexual partners of
many but not all genders, sexes or sexual
identities. (‘Poly’ means ‘many’.)
Pansexual
Attracted to romantic and sexual partners of
any gender, sex or sexual identity. (‘Pan’
means ‘all’.)
Bisexual
Attracted to both men and women.
The Church affirms that sexuality is “God’s good gift to all
persons.”
The Catholic Church teaches that, as a person does not
choose to be either homosexual or heterosexual, being gay
or lesbian is not inherently sinful.
This affirmation begins the denomination’s statement on
Human Sexuality. It is one of several statements describing
the church’s teachings on sexuality.
The Church affirms that all people are of sacred worth and
are equally valuable in the sight of God. It is committed to be
in ministry with all people. The Church “implores families and
churches not to reject or condemn lesbian and gay members
and friends.”
Underlying this is the constitutional principle of
inclusiveness of the church. Everyone is welcome to worship
and actively participate in the life of our churches.
Laypersons may become members and live out their faith
through their local church without respect to sexual
orientation or practice.
One point should be made perfectly clear:
Despite many assertions to the contrary, the Catholic
Church and other Christian denominations do not
condemn homosexuals, but rather condemn their
unnatural and unhealthy acts, which not only contravene
the laws of nature but ignore God’s Commandments.
Examples of unnatural and unhealthy acts:
Attraction of persons with the same sex is not
normal norm.
Having sex with the sex is not acceptable
Marriage with the same sex does not fulfil
procreation.
Similarly, the Catholic Church and other Christian
denominations do not condemn heterosexuals who
commit adultery and fornication, but instead the sins
themselves.
Homosexuals have no more cause to complain about
Church teachings than do fornicators or adulterers.
In the pastoral field, homosexuals must certainly be
treated with understanding and sustained in the hope
of overcoming their personal difficulties and their
inability to fit into society.
Prayer for Sexual Healing

Lord, each out in mercy and love to our fellow brothers

and sisters as they navigate and climb their way to the
pinnacle of Your love.
Begin guiding them in the ways of chastity, prayer, and
service. Fill them from the inside.

Give them blessings in supreme abundance- pressed

down, shaken together, and overflowing onto their laps,
so that they might be flooded with awe, praise, and
gratitude.

Lord, let them see Your saving help, so that in these last
days, many more souls may be gathered together in You.
We ask this through Your Son, Christ our Lord. Amen.
END