Principled Negotiation

Unlike positional bargaining, principled negotiation is based on understanding the other party's
interests well enough to be able to invent a mutually acceptable agreement without either party
giving up or giving in.
Principled negotiation occurs at both a macro and a micro level. At the macro level, principled
negotiation strives to:
Build and maintain good, long-term rapport with the other party.
Create fair, wise and value-building relationships.
Allow for wise choices at the conclusion of negotiations.
At the micro level, principled negotiation focuses on:

 building respectful and professional working relationships

 that allow for candid, two-way communication

 so that we can fully understand everyone’s underlying interests

 in a way that allows us to create mutually satisfying options

 based on fair standards of legitimacy

 that are better than both parties’ BATNAs

 so each can confidently commit to an agreement

Seven Elements

The graphic on the right presents the Seven Elements which make up Principled Negotiations.
We’ll refer to these steps from here on out as the Seven Elements. This “win-win” approach to
negotiation can lead to better, more productive negotiations that are of greater value for both
parties. The result is either a commitment between you and the other party to terms that are
balanced and that meet all parties’ needs or a well-reasoned decision that not moving forward is
best for both parties.

Recommended Readings
If you want to learn more on Negotiating the following books are heavily recommended. The
following books are recommended for those who have an on-going interest in negotiation:
Getting to YES: Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In, Roger Fisher, William Ury and
Bruce Patton
The classic primer on effective interest-based collaboration, this book lays out the core concepts
of rapport, interests, options, legitimacy, and BATNA. The book provides a range of examples,
from negotiating complex business deals to international peace treaties to rent disputes. It is a
book many other books have built off of.
Getting Past No: Negotiating Your Way from Confrontation to Cooperation, William Ury
Following up on the ideas in Getting to YES, Ury outlines a strategy for “breakthrough”
negotiating when the other party is being difficult. Ury identifies five significant barriers to using
this approach. Your own reaction: The most common response to receiving a "no" or feeling
stressed or perceiving an attack is to react, either by retaliating in kind or giving in. The other
person's negative emotions: Many negative emotions lie behind personal attacks including fear,
distrust, and anger. The other side's position: They may “stake their claim” to a position and try
to defend it at all cost. The other side's dissatisfaction: They may not see how a mutually
beneficial solution will satisfy their interests. The other side's power: If they see negotiation as
win-lose, they may not be willing to cooperate in pursuing a joint strategy for problem solving.
Ury identifies five steps for dealing with these situations: 1) Don’t react—go to the balcony, 2)
Don’t argue—Step to their side, 3) Don’t reject—Reframe, 4) Don’t push—Build them a “golden
bridge,” and 5) Don’t escalate—use power to educate.
Bargaining for Advantage: Negotiation Strategies for Reasonable People, Richard Shell
As Director of the Wharton Executive Negotiation Workshop, Shell adds the dimension of
individual style to many of the concepts of negotiation. How does one’s gut influence tendency
(e.g., to avoid, to compete) affect the negotiation dynamic? This book is also rich in business
world negotiation examples. Focusing on six key psychological leverage points, Shell shows
everyone how they can get more of what they want, gain the confidence they need, counter
hardball tactics, and dodge the tricks that others try to play.
Getting Together: Building Relationships as You Negotiate, Roger Fisher and Scott Brown
This book bring rigorous analysis to the question of “What is a good relationship?” and “How do
we build one?” Fisher and Brown point out that reciprocal strategies (“an eye for an eye” or “the
mushy golden rule”) fail to deliver reciprocally good relationships. The advocate a strategy of
being “unconditionally constructive,” i.e., do things that would be good for the relationship
whether or not the other side reciprocates. A good book to force oneself to think harder about
what exactly one wants out of a business relationship with another party.
That’s Not What I Meant: How Conversational Style Makes or Breaks Relationships,
Deborah Tannen
Tannen, an internationally-recognized linguist helps you recognize your own communication
style and how it meshes or clashes with the style of others. She explores ways to get “a quiet
person to talk and a conversational bulldozer too stop.” The successor failure of any relationship
often depends on conversational signals like pitch, rhythm, timing or a simple turn of a phrase
that either creates or destroys dialogue.
Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High, Kerry Patterson, Joseph
Grenny, Ron McMillian, and Al Switzler
Crucial Conversations focuses on how to create a genuine dialogue when the conversation is
high stakes, emotional and creates risk for both sides. The book lays out a process for focusing
on what you really want, noticing when safety is at risk, and learning how to speak persuasively,
not abrasively. The book integrates well with Getting to YES and The Seven Habits, by Stephen
Covey.
Lateral Thinking: Creativity Step by Step, Edward DeBono
Most of us are educated to think vertically, i.e., to go from one logical step to the next, moving
toward one correct solution to our problem. DeBono teaches a process for generating idea after
idea—lateral thinking—using information to bring about in sight by restructuring the way we
look at and approach problem solving.
How to Make Collaboration Work: Powerful Ways to Build Consensus, Solve Problems,
and Make Decisions, David Strauss
Strauss attempts to uncover and demystify the process of individual and group problem-solving,
and to then turn these insights into useful concepts and tools. Strauss has spent some 30 years as
a facilitator and problem-solver and uses these experiences as examples throughout.
Negotiation Analysis: The Science and Art of Collaborative Decision Making, Howard
Raiffa, John Richardson, and David Metcalfe
This book is the best quantitative text on negotiation. Raiffa, the father of decision science, lays
out how to quantitatively analyze many of the qualitative concepts laid out in Getting to YES.
Raiffa also tackles multi-party negotiations, mediations, and international situations. Negotiation
Analysis is a good, broad book on negotiation, but should only be read by those willing to dig
deeply into the topic.
Smart Negotiating: How to Make Good Deals in the Real World, James C. Freund
Freund, a former Skadden Arps merger attorney, suggests many pragmatic techniques for
complex business negotiations. The key strategies in his approach are: 1) understanding leverage
(what you want), 2) using information (where you start), 3) building credibility (how you move)
and 4) using judgment skillfully (when you close).
Dealing With People You Can’t Stand: How to Bring Out the Best in People at Their Worst,
Rick Brinkman and Rick Kirschner
When at their worst, people can make life unpleasant, stressful, and prevent you from achieving
important goals. This book explores how difficult people think, what they fear, and why they act
the way they do. It suggests certain “listening techniques” and presents ways to reduce the
differences between people. It also presents memorable labels (e.g., the TANK, the SNIPER) for
destructive behavior to make it easy to spot and recognize certain styles.
The Thomas Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument, Kenneth Thomas and Ralph Kilmann,
CCP Publishing
The Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument is a psychological survey that poses a series of
thirty, paired questions in order to discover your different conflict styles. The instrument explains
that many people feel a tension between “getting what they want” and “maintaining the
relationship. The test is worth taking and exploring to further understand your basic conflict
reaction and style.