Ok, so I know this might not be everyone’s favorite topic but, they’re there, and wi

thout them, we wouldn’t be. Actually, I don’t think much else would be either. Take
this for example, Dicroelium dendriticum, or lancet flukes. Lancet flukes start
in the stomach, the stomach of a cow to be exact. When the cow eliminates its wa
ste, or in other words makes a cow pie, some eggs end up in the pasture. Eventua
lly, a hungry snail climbs up and eats its fill. The eggs hatch and begin to irr
itate the snail. The snail coats the Flukes in mucus. When the globs of mucus ar
e big enough, the snail coughs it’s unwanted passengers out, dropping them on the
ground in safe, if wet , packages. After a while some ants come along and eat th
e sweet, slimy globs, allowing the flukes once more to infiltrate yet another vi
ctim. The Flukes take control of the ants’ nervous center, controlling its mind co
mpletely. During the day it’s any other ant, but at night, it finds the tallest, g
reenest grass to climb, where it is consumed by a hungry cow. And there they are
. Lancet Fluke heaven.
And how again does this save the world you ask? Simple, let me tell you a story
. Cows have, over time, evolved to avoid bright green grass. The Flukes aren’t exa
ctly welcome you see. But what happens when there are more cows than usual? Well
, the cows have to eat those ants. And those cows get sick. Sick cows have fewer
calves, less calves’ means less cows. Less cows means more grass, more grass mean
s more cows, the cycle continues. Now I can see you still don’t get it. One time a
bunch of farmers thought it would be a good idea if they used pesticides to get
rid of the parasites. And it makes sense, right? I mean, without the parasites,
more cows. Well, yes, more cows, but less grass. With all the grass gone the la
nd turned into a desert, with desert plants, that didn’t let the grass grow back.
And when the grass didn’t grow back, neither did the cows, or the snails, or the a
nts, or any other native plant or an animal there. Get the picture?
Alright, you have a point, say, we kept Lancet Flukes, and got rid of th
e rest, and we’re good then, right? Wrong. Have you ever wondered why Howler monke
ys only yell, not fight? No? Well then. I’ll tell you any way. See, Howler monkeys
used to fight with teeth and claws, but there was one problem with that. Screwf
lies. Screwflies aren’t actually parasites, but their babies are. When a screwfly
is ready to lay eggs, they find a mammal with a scratch, or bite, or cut, it doe
sn’t need to be big, and something the size of a flea bite would work. They lay th
eir eggs inside that wound. When the maggots, or screwworms, hatch, they’re hungry
. They set to work devouring the flesh around them. And with any other type of f
ly this would be fine, normal maggots just eat the dead flesh, cleaning out the
wound around them and helping it heal. Some doctors still use this on soldiers i
f they need to. Screwworms, well, that’s another matter, they are born starving an
d aren’t exactly picky eaters. They eat anything and everything they can, so inste
ad of helping the wound heal, they make it bigger, and bigger, and bigger. Get t
he picture? The bigger the wound gets the more flies lay their eggs in it. This
has led to the long and painful death for many a howler monkey. So when howler m
onkeys fight, they only yell, rather than bite or scratch and have both monkeys
die. The ones that did bite or scratch died off long ago, getting rid of those t
ypes of genes fairly quickly.
Good for the howler monkeys, but again, how does this affect me? They fi
ll the bellies of eagles, jaguars, and other large predators. They eat plants th
at would otherwise over take the jungle. They occupy space that predators don’t. M
ust I go on? Everything in nature is perfectly balanced, get rid of one thing yo
u get rid of another, and another, and another, you set of an entire chain react
ion, hence the name food chain. Parasites aren’t fun, but they’re necessary, none o
f us like lice, or flukes, or screwworms, but they are part of a complex cycle t
hat we have only begun to understand.
They may be necessary for the entire world to survive, and vital to the
existence of life in general, but they aren’t necessary to life specifically. In f
act if you aren’t their final home, they’ll will almost definitely kill you, whether
through mind control, blood sucking, or some other means of death, they will ki
ll you. And if you are their final home, well then you still don’t want to deal wi
th that, because in all probability, you’ll end up wishing they had killed you. He
re are some ways to prevent an invasion of the miniscule.
 Rule #1) Always make sure your meat is completely cooked through, that m
eans no more pink meat. AT ALL! I’m sorry but do you want hookworms? I didn’t think
so.
Rule #2) Don ‘t drink tropical water. Water in the tropics is warm and ali
ve, literally. Trust me, you don’t want to drink it unless you have to. Also, don’t
pee in it either, some parasites are attracted to urine. No Really, DON’T.
Rule #3) Don’t eat after people, I am not doubting your intelligence but y
ou’d be surprised at how many people do that.
Rule #4) Wash your hands, a lot. Make sure you wash your hands for at ea
st 20 seconds each time.
Rule #5) Wash all your fruits and vegetables and always wear gloves whil
e gardening. I’m pretty sure that’s self-explanatory.
Rule #6) Wear long sleeves and pants when hiking. Spray your clothes wit
h bug spray to prevent tick bites.
Rule #7) Don’t let your pets lick or kiss you if they are not regularly tr
eated for parasites.
Rule #7) Be careful when handling cat litter and don’t let pregnant women
handle it at all.