Copella 1

Jason Copella

Mr. Ventura

ENG 1530

5 October 2020

Rylie (Serial Killers

 Address what makes your topic timely, relevant, and credible in your opening paragraph/

have a clear thesis

 Good job at addressing both sides of the argument, with specific details to support each

side

 Close out the two sides of the argument paragraphs better- wrap up the ideas and

transition to your next topic (researchable) better.

 You do a good job of focusing on why you want to research this issue, but also keep in

mind persuading to your audience as well on why this issue is compelling and worthy of

their attention

 More recent examples of serial killers would strengthen the idea of your issue be

timely/relevant

 Are you suggesting the prevention of serial killers in the first place, the reform and

forgiveness of serial killers after their actions, or both? Your closing paragraph is not

clear enough on the main points of your issue.

Thank you for this feedback, it looks like the information you have provided to me will be useful

in my essay and I agree with many of your points that you make here. With your last comment

yes, can we find a way to prevent it all together and or create treatment centers, with that we

would need further research.