Fragility Defines Resiliency

Life itself is not sweet and fruitful as it is if it is not you who will add spice on it. Life itself will not make
everything possible if you will always focus on the impossible. Life itself will not give you the life that you
want if you will not do your best to work for the life you wanted to have. Life itself will just be fantasy if
you will just wait for it to become reality. As the maxim says, “Don’t Dream your Life, instead live it and
live with it.

Good Afternoon fellow toastmasters, guest and _____ Toastmaster. Before I continue with my speech,
may I ask you to listen carefully, answer on your mind the questions I will say, and reflect though your
heart and soul the answers to the questions.

Have you ever find yourself filled with self-doubt and run out of self-confidence? Despite everything life
had offer you; you’re accomplishments, happiness, wealth, love and a lot more. Do you feel like a fraud
destined to be exposed? Do you feel that you don’t deserve the lasting love that you receive and
everyone will leave you in no time? Do you just stay at the four corners of your home, afraid of
venturing out and meeting new people for you do not want to be judged because you feel you don’t
have enough to offer? Do you feel overweight, boring, stupid, guilty or ugly?

Do you believe LIFE is unfair with you? You hold the saying; “Do not Do unto others, what you do not
want to do unto you, so you are living with it, you really try your best not to disappoint anyone, not to
hurt anyone, not to judge anyone and not to belittle anyone, but what are you feeling right now? Why
do look hurt, judged, and belittled?

Actually you are not, definitely not, you just feel it, you just look the way it is, BECAUSE you are just
INSECURE!

Tell me not, most of us feel insecure sometimes, but some of us are totally insecure most of the time.
Why, because life is basically insecure. Only death is secure. Life insurance are two terms that are very
contradicting to each other, because technically you will only be secured after death. So the people
want to live safely die before their death, and any people who want to live safely chose not to live at all.
Life is an adventure, very unpredictable, hence you need to live it arduously.

Now let me share you this story of mine, maybe you would mind to know me better as well. I am not
certain, though 

To tell you honestly, standing in front of you makes me weak. I don’t know you, you don’t know me. I
am not sure if you will understand me. I am not even positive if I can receive praises from you. I am not
even certain if I could deliver this speech until the end having the confidence I had when I started this. I
am hesitant of everything. I am INSECURE!

That’s me from the very beginning. You may think I am overflowing with so much conviction, that I don’t
have that what they call “stage fright.” That it seems I am very used to what I am doing right now. Yes, I
am very much used to it, I am very much used to stand in front of lots of people for that is the nature of
my work, but I, I am not overflowing with so much confidence, I also feel nervous whenever I am on the
stage, that even though I know what to do, I just can’t easily compose myself, so I can’t say that I am
used to it.
Like any other people, like you, to be judged is my greatest frustration, I am afraid to explore, I am
petrified of showing off my skills, not because I don’t trust myself but rather I would say, I am scared of
not meeting their satisfaction, and that I could just disappoint the people around me. I am not fond of
sharing my sentiments for every time I do such, I am always misunderstood. That way, I feel that I DO
NOT have the right to speak up, that I should only be agreeing with everything, no hesitations, no
complaints, because If I do so, I will be wronged. If I am right, I am wronged, If I am wrong, I am judged.

I am used to share and speak up what is really inside me, but only with myself, I used to cry out loud
whenever I feel I am not enough but only with my own shoulders which I can lean on. I am used to shout
and release my negativities but only with my ears that can hear. I am used to be comforted whenever I
feel down but only with my pillow and blanket which can hug me so tight. I am used to be fixed
whenever I feel broken but only with my conscience that can stick with the decisions I am making. Yes I
am totally broken, I am fragile but that defines how firm I am now.

To be fragile is how I define my resiliency. I am complete outside, yet I am impaired inside, no let me
rephrase it for you. I am not complete inside-out but I am even unimpaired inside. Yes, what you can see
now, is ME, being incomplete, being flawed, being judged, and belittled, which I can also see with
myself, but being incomplete, being flawed, being judged, being belittled is what make myself as a
whole, it characterized how resilient and determined I am to be the best person I can be. I don’t limit
myself with those insecurities based on my recent failure or rejection that I have had received, instead I
use those as my advantage for the upcoming rejections along the way, there’s lot more. I don’t stop just
because I lacked of confidence due to Social Anxiety but rather I am using it to know better the people
around me, and as well for me to know how sensitive I am with the feelings of others, so I will be guided
on how I am going to act and react with them. I don’t judge my imperfections, for that is what making
me complete. I do have my standards for myself, but I also evaluate the things I have done for me;
efforts, dedication, perseverance, and faith which in reality, I really, sometimes, lack off.

Now fellow toastmasters, evaluate yourselves, do you feel insecure because you think you are judged,
flawed, belittled and incomplete? Or You feel insecure because you can’t accept the fact that you are
IMPERFECT, that those judgements, flaws, and belittlements that you receive breaks you easily, then
you are FRAGILE! But if you believe that all those negative descriptors can be your advantage to move
forward, then you are RESILIENT

The options are ours, the choice is yours! Define your own resiliency!

Before I end this speech of mine, I just want to leave you this quotation, that I have made myself, which
I just keep in mind every time I feel I am insecure.

“Insecurity is just a scarecrow, It can just scare you but it cannot judge how indestructible you are!”

With that thank you very much every one, have a blessed and fruitful day ahead!