A Rebuke of The Christian Church by Keith Nicholson

A Rebuke of the
Christian Church
By Keith Nicholson
A Rebuke of the Christian Church
Copyright © 2003, 2011 by Keith Nicholson
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or

transmitted in any form or by any means without written
permission of the author.
First edition, first printing

This edition printed 2011
Library of Congress Catalogue Card Number:

2010900314
(10) ISBN: 0-9761767-0-X

(13) ISBN: 978-0-9761767-0-1
Edited by:
LaJean Kerry
Cover art:
Jesus and the Money Changers at the Temple
Woodcut by Julius Schnorr von Carolsfeld, ca. 1860 CE
Contact the author:

nicholson@nolamagick.com
Hate Mail:
Nola-Magick Press, LLC
5500 Prytania Street, #246
New Orleans, LA 70115
www.nolamagick.com
Printed in the USA

I am Satan. I am the accuser of the brethren. I am Keith Nicholson.
Acknowledgments
Dr. David B. Eastland, preacher and teacher—his life is a per-

fect example of how Christians are supposed to live. He has been an
acquaintance of mine since 2003 and has held my hand through my
clumsy writing career, my never-ending spiritual quest, and my wife‘s
death and cremation. Though we disagree on many technical points
about Christianity and God, my life has been better for having known
him.
Miguel Conner, author, internet-radio host, and Gnostic scho-

lar—like Paul of Tarsus, he ―brings the gospel without charge‖ on a
weekly basis, and has never refused his literature or broadcast
recordings from the sheep when requested. He has been a true friend
and confidant, and deserves only the best that the next life has to
offer.
Chris and Andrea Peters, friends in absentia—even though

they might not have known it, they epitomized the true Christian
spirit after Hurricane Katrina. They never once mentioned God or
Christian duty, but acted accordingly, nonetheless. I am alive today,
because of them.
Author's Challenge
This book is not based on a true story. It is a true story. In

light of the James Frye scandal, average American readers now pose
questions of authors, speculating whether or not each autobiography
is a true autobiography, a memoir, creative nonfiction, a mere
recollection, or other. They each want to know (and rightly so) if their
chosen author has made embellishments, altered dates, names, or
facts, or downright fictionalized portions of their supposed nonfiction
works.
I emphatically affirm that I have done none of the above. No
names where changed in the writing of this book. No events have
been embellished or fictionalized. I have documentation of each
incident; said documentation can be easily authenticated by eyewit-
ness testimony.
Due to the nature and scope of this book, there is no way I
could bear false witness successfully, as other authors have at-
tempted. I invite lecture and debate from any individual, institution,
judicial bench, or theistic construct presented within. I beg for the
opportunity to have a public forum to defend this body of writing. I
desire nothing less than the opportunity to rebuke publicly those
whom I have within. These three paragraphs should be considered as
an open invitation to any and all who might challenge this book‘s
authenticity. I will meet each challenge based on its merits. Any
venue, any format, any medium—I am easily accessible to do just
that, i.e., defend this book and my comments.
Keith Nicholson
New Orleans, 2011
Preface
This e-booklet is an excerpt that‘s been quilted together with

mismatched pieces from my seminal work, IDOLATER: A Spiritual
Biography of Rebuke, Revenge & Regret, which encompasses over 800
pages. This is the ―rebuke‖ section. It is offered as an instrument to
compel rational thinking, to heal wounded spirits, and to save
splintered lives.
Be advised that there are several passages herein that use
proper names and specific situations (the particulars of which are
glaringly absent) and might jar the reader‘s concentration. Such
instances might have been prefaced in footnotes or parenthesis, but I
chose not to do so. Instead, I opted to leave the material without
explanation because it is presented thoroughly (and in sequence, i.e.,
flow of thought/text) within the original body of work. Further, not
knowing the essence behind a particular name or situation will not
hinder the reader from the overall point(s) of the text. If, however, the
reader agonizes over the absence of said material, then the signific-
ance of the text has been missed; the missing material can be easily
acquired by purchasing/reading the full 800-page book.
Also absent from this excerpted booklet is a Forward that was
written by Dr. David B. Eastland, Adjunct Instructor at The Baptist
Theological Seminary at New Orleans, and the senior pastor of The
First Baptist Church of Harahan. His Forward (aka Christian Criti-
que) is absent herein because he addresses so many points from the
overall book that are not presented within this excerpted e-booklet,
but will be included within the full book.
Table of Contents
Introduction .................................................................................... 1
One Man in Search of One God ........................................................ 5
Christian Taliban .......................................................................... 23
Sometimes Christians Wear Black ................................................. 25
Corporate Criminals Christians ..................................................... 35
A Father and His Kids ................................................................... 51
The Titan of Evangelists ................................................................. 63
Lap Dances for Jesus .................................................................... 75
From the Church House to the Courthouse .................................... 89
Christian Politicians and a Bastard Named ―Al Gore‖ ...................... 91
Feed the Shepherd, Starve the Flock ............................................ 113
Jesus Christ: Founder of Communism ......................................... 123
The After-Church Crowd .............................................................. 129
Holiday Hypocrisy........................................................................ 145
The Sins of Katrina ...................................................................... 153
Jesus of Nazareth: The Greatest Man Who Never Lived ................. 159
Nail-Driving Conclusion ............................................................... 195
Introduction
―I don‘t believe in fairytales, sermons, or stories about money.‖

~Rooster Cogburn
No, I do not believe that Jesus Christ was a real person. Nor
do I believe that he was a real god-man. But that is okay, because I
am still willing to die for the teachings he was reputed to offer. I try
my best to live them every day. As for his father, Jehovah of the Old
Testament, I do not believe in him either; but I am willing to die in
support of his Laws, too. Why? Because those Laws and Parabolic
examples are the most perfect set of instructions that have ever been
conceived. So how could I object? I couldn‘t. I won‘t.
Is there something out there—up there—that is greater than
me, that might be called God with a capital-G? Yes, there very well
might be; I‘m damn well sure there is. The name to this entity is not
given to us. The names Jehovah, Adonai, HaShem, Elohyim, El, et al
are names that were given to God by mankind. As curious readers
might recall, God never gave his name to us mere mortals. To Moses,
God offered ―I Am.‖ The patriarchs called him ―The God of Abraham,‖
―The God of Isaac,‖ ―The God of Jacob,‖ and ―The God of our Fathers.‖
Jacob, when wrestling with God‘s angel, asked for God‘s name and
was refused. Even Jesus kept mum as to the name of his Father
―who art in Heaven.‖1 The truth of the matter is that all of the names
for God in the Old Testament are merely monikers that men assem-
bled as reference, and assigned for reverence.
However, to say that God is male is equally misleading. Both
Testaments attest to the fact that God is a spirit. Spirits, as Jesus
tells us, cannot have either a masculine or feminine gender; they are
neuter gender. The metaphors and similes used to denote God as
father, husband, king, etc. are comparative attributes to help our
feeble minds understand the protection (and sometimes the scourge)
we receive and to better understand our relationship to It. 2
1
Every time the word heaven is used in the New Testament, the actual word in Greek
is οὐρανός (ouranos; Strong‘s number 3772) meaning ―elevation, as in sky, heavens,
as in solar system‖; the word is the proper name of the Titan Uranus, father of Jupiter-
Zeus.
2
He is masculine gender, she is feminine gender, it is neuter gender. Since spirit is
neuter gender, I personally use It to refer to God. I use masculine gender pronouns
for God throughout this book because it has only been within the past couple of years
Introduction
In Judaism, God is more than a distinguishing title; It

represents the Jewish conception of the divine nature, and of the
relationship It had with the Jewish people (and now with the world).
To demonstrate the sacredness of the names of God, the scribes of
sacred texts treated the names with absolute sanctity when writing
and speaking them. The various titles for God in Judaism represent
the divine aspects which are attributed to It. In essence, we do not
have a proper name for God; we only have titles and attributes.
The numerous titles for God have been a source of de-

bate amongst biblical scholars. Some have advanced
the multiplicity of names for God as a proof that the
Torah, the main scripture of Judaism, has many au-
thors—the belief known as the documentary hypothe-
sis. YHWH is the only proper "name of God" in the
Tanakh, in the sense that Abraham or Sarah are prop-
er names by which you call a person. Whereas words
such as Elohim (god, or authority), El (mighty one),
Shaddai (almighty), Adonai (master), Elyon (most
high), Avinu (our father), etc. are not names but titles,
highlighting different aspects of YHWH, and the vari-
ous roles which God has. This is similar to how some-
one may be called 'father', 'husband', 'brother', 'son',
etc, but their personal name is the only one that can
be correctly identified as their actual designation. In
the Tanakh, YHWH is the personal name of the God of
Israel, whereas other 'names' are titles which are as-
cribed to God.3
The concepts mentioned herein are difficult to wrap one‘s

head around. To that I can surely attest. I struggle with these con-
cepts daily—multiple times a day. At times I feel guilt, shame, and
fear for not believing in an actual deity named God but I have to
remind myself that God is not a name; God is a rank or title. The
word God (theos in Greek) means ―judge‖ or ―magistrate‖. The word
that I have received a certain understanding about God, as presented within this
booklet‘s Introduction.
3
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adonai#Adonai
In the above cited article, YHWH is given as the ―personal name of God‖ and as the
―proper name of God.‖ This Wikipedia article was written and edited by apologists.
Any secular scholar will attest to that which I have asserted herein.
2
Rebuke to a Christian Nation
God does not imply holiness, righteousness, or otherworldliness. The

average Christian or Jew will not know that in both Testaments, each
name given or used for their God was also used within the same
bodies of text for the names and descriptions for neighboring, pagan,
false gods throughout. This is a bona fide fact; all one has to do to
prove or disprove this assertion is to use a concordance for no more
than five minutes to see for one‘s self. (This is not a suggestion; it is
a challenge!)
Nevertheless, there is something that is a part of our world
and exists in our universe that is greater than mankind can compre-
hend. There are systems in place that we as scientific thinkers are
only beginning to stumble upon. There is something so great and so
pure that words can never describe It or do It justice. It is something
that can bring tears to my eyes and make me willing to die for It,
though I do not know It‘s name or species. It is the mystery we call
God. To paraphrase Victor Klein‘s seminal work, “Creation does not
exist because of Elohyim; Elohyim exists because of Creation.‖ 4
Regardless of the circular chicken and the egg scenario, that
which we call God exists. It does not speak to me, but I speak to It. It
makes Itself known in my life through ways that are both minute and
grand; in ways that bring tears to my eyes and sometimes screams
from my throat. Yes, I have a love-hate relationship with God, just as
I have a belief-nonbeliever relationship with It too. Do I go to church-
houses or synagogue-temples to visit It? To honor It? Hell no! Do I sit
alone with choked words and a broken heart, or with laughter on my
face and a sense of purpose in my life? Yes, and more.
I don‘t have a name for It; and for that I am glad. As stated, I
have a love-hate relationship for It; for that I am glad. I struggle with
It daily; for that, I am glad. If the reader will recall, Jacob wrestled
with God; and God was pleased and Jacob was blessed. 5 This booklet
is an excerpted hodgepodge of chapters within my seminal work,
IDOLATER: A Spiritual Biography of Rebuke, Revenge & Regret,
wherein I demonstrate my personal struggle and wrestling match
with God—with It. During the first draft of the original manuscript, I
was told that my spiritual plight had a universality to which most
readers could relate. Eight years later, I believe this to be true. That
is unfortunate. But for those who continue to grasp at spiritual
straws from heavenly haystacks, I welcome you to my struggle.
4
Hermes & Christ: The Occult Unveiled; © 1997 Lycanthrope Press
5
Genesis 32:24--32
3
One Man in Search of One God
―Christianity is a marvelous religion. Too bad it has never been practiced.‖

~ Mohandas Gandhi
I had my first encounter with religion when I was five years

old. A neighbor‘s grandmother had taken me to church one Sunday
morning, and after my first Sunday school class I was led directly
from the classroom and into the adult sanctuary where my Sunday
school teacher looked frantically for my guardian. The old, bare,
tongue and groove floorboards creaked with each step. A large,
wooden crucifix hung from the ceiling; it swayed above the choir
seats and in my innocence I mused as to what would happen to the
people in the choir should it ever fall. My thoughts of falling crosses
and creaking floors soon gave way to the grandmother‘s approach.
―Let me tell you what your grandson‘s friend said this morn-
ing, Sister Rose.‖ The old, hoary haired teacher held a tight grip on
my arm.
―What did he do?‖ She took my arm from the old lady.
―He said, ‗I‘ve heard of the three little pigs and the three little
bears, but I‘ve never heard of the three little wise men‘.‖
There were no smiles on either of their faces. As a matter of
fact, this incident notwithstanding, there were no smiles on anyone‘s
faces during the entire church service. Mingling in the beginning? No
smiles. During the singing? No smiles. Preaching? No smiles. Some-
one ―got saved?‖ No smiles. I found it odd that all of those people
frowned and grimaced for three hours straight.
I quickly caught onto the idea that religion was serious busi-
ness. As proof of this, I could not sit down during the entire church
service due to a blistered bottom I received from my friend‘s grand-
mother. That was the closest anyone came to a smile during the
entire church service. I guess public, corporeal punishment of a five-
year-old is pleasing to some.
Spare the rod and spoil the child!6
It was promised to me that I would never be allowed to forget
that religion was serious business. From then on out, Keith was
compelled to attend church. Such was common behavior in Gadsden,
Alabama. My hometown was a small, Bible-belt city of forty thousand
people. Being reared there I had a Southern Baptist upbringing with
6
Proverbs 13:24
enough Blue Laws and ―now don‘ts‖ to last a lifetime. I heard ―now
don‘t‖ so often from the time I was born that I‘m surprised it‘s not the
official town motto. I‘m further surprised that the universal prohibi-
tion symbol is not the town‘s logo.7
In 1972 I was in the second grade. It was the same year when
forced racial integration of Alabama‘s public schools commenced.
Also that year, there was a voter referendum in an attempt to end
some of the antiquated Blue Laws that were still enforced. Until that
time, no gasoline station was allowed to be open for business on
Sundays. No grocery stores, either. Only churches and hospitals had
the luxury of business-as-usual on Sunday—the Lord‘s Day.
Alcohol sales, both for on-premises consumption, and off-
premises as well, were prohibited seven days a week because the city
of Gadsden was in a dry county. One had to travel two counties over
to purchase beer, wine, or liquor. Even then it could only be trans-
ported in the trunk of a car or the bed of a pickup truck. If, however,
a police officer or Sheriff‘s deputy pulled a car over randomly to
inspect it for ―contraband,‖ they were allowed to determine for
themselves if the amount was excessive for the driver‘s personal
consumption.8 If so, an impounding of the alcohol was apparent,
and possible arrest could follow. This of course posed numerous
violations of constitutional rights, because frequently said police
officer or Sheriff‘s deputy was a fundamentalist Christian and a
teetotaler. Thus, he would consider any amount of alcohol excessive.9
A stated, I was reared to be a Southern Baptist by my mater-
nal family. Though, I attended White‘s Chapel Baptist Church by bus
on Sunday mornings alone. I continued to attend church whenever
the bus ministry rolled, and at ten years old, at a youth ministry
outing, I declared that I wanted to be a preacher when I grew up. I
must admit, that single statement changed my entire life both for
better and for worse—much worse.
7
Red circle divided by a red diagonal line.
8
One could only transport alcohol for ―personal consumption.‖ The amount of alcohol
being transported was calculated by the total number of people in the automobile. If
one was having a party, then there would have to be a car load of people to account
for the transportation, otherwise, bootlegging statutes would apply. This was a
frequently occurring false charge, especially if the attending officer was a fundamen-
talist Christian, which most were.
9
I am not referring to ―open containers.‖ I am referring to drivers who had legally
purchased alcohol, had it in their trunks as proscribed by law, with the corks or labels
sealed.
6
I became the bus captain of my route by age eleven. It was a

position, if one could call it a position, which had always been held
by adults prior to my appointment. I was later to be known as ―that
preacher boy‖ by Senior Pastor Phillip Ellen. Their fundamentalist
viewpoints of biblical condemnation and retribution hit me hard,
right from the start. There was no doubt in my young mind that they
were true. Once, I had taken a piece of chalk and written my
girlfriend‘s name on the asphalt in front of our apartment.
My mother asked angrily, ―Did you write that out there on the
street?‖
―No, Mama. I promise. I don‘t know how that got there!‖
At that very instant, the front passenger-side tire of my moth-
er‘s Ford Galaxy 500 blew out as we drove over the chalk writing. I
couldn‘t look at my mother. I knew she knew. Apparently God did
too. Instant retribution!
I quickly began to notice that no matter what wrong I did I
was instantly caught and punished. Not necessarily by people
though, but with unexplainable circumstances that could only have
come from some divine source—God. It seemed that he was always
nipping at my heels and inflicting justice that always seemed too
severe. It always seemed as if God‘s punishments were greater than
my sins. Thus, I began to fear God to the point of near-phobia.
Everyone at church expressed that this was a healthy fear, and
applauded me for having such spiritual convictions at a very young
age.
Due to my extended bible studies, my tireless work at the
church every weekend, and my fear of God resultantly caused me to
be well received by the pastoral staff. So much so, that at age eleven I
was brought before the church congregation during a Sunday night
service.
Brother Ed Rogers, the children‘s minister, told the congrega-
tion, ―Keith‘s mother doesn‘t have much money. She‘s one of those
divorced people, you know? And, as you all know, she refuses to
come to church.‖
He further mentioned that I needed someone to pay for my
tuition at the church‘s private school, Coosa Christian Academy. A
man in the congregation, Gary Don Lankford, said that he would pay
half. I stood on the carpeted stage next to the pulpit and cried. Due to
my embarrassment, I did not notice who made the commitment to
pay for the second-half of the tuition.
Brother Ed declared, ―This young ‗preacher boy‘ is going
straight to Hell with his mother if we don‘t get him out of those
atheistic public schools, and his mother baptized and right with
God!‖
7
It was humiliating to be told in front of a room full of kids my

own age, along with their parents, that I was poor and I lived in the
projects and that my mother cleaned cheap motel rooms for a living.
The faces of my friends stared through me while I stood on the
platform next to the fat, balding preacher. He poured sweat as he
slammed his fist onto the pulpit, but all eyes were fixed on me. At
that moment I knew my relationship with them would never again be
the same. I knew I could never be at ease around them again. The
look of shock on their faces could never have been a match for my
own; I was not consulted about the matter. I was not warned. Nor my
mother, either. The surprise of the statements coming out of Ed
Rogers‘s mouth that evening forever reminded me (and informed the
rest of the world) that I was not equal.
Regardless of their methods, before the night was over I was
the newest member of the CCA fellowship. That one decision trans-
formed my inner being—and my life—forever. Or rather, it was a
barometer that would meter and gauge my life to come.
As stated previously, I was given great favor with the senior
pastor and his staff; and at age eleven I was the bus captain of the
East Gadsden church bus route for Whites Chapel Baptist Church.
What that consisted of basically, was on Sunday mornings I would be
at the church‘s bus parking lot at six-thirty. Bus Minister Ronnie
Brooks and I would gas up the eight buses and pull them up front—
idling—and awaiting their respective drivers.
There was one cold, frost covered Sunday morning in particu-
lar which I remember vividly. I asked why the gas tanks weren‘t
completely filled ahead of time and why we practiced the weekly
couple of gallons for each ritual. I was told that ―niggers‖ would come
by at night and siphon out all of the gasoline if we kept the tanks
filled, as I had hinted. I considered the retribution the gasoline
thieves must have received at God‘s hands. I knew firsthand how
damning he could be with my little sins.
Each bus had a driver and a captain and on Saturday morn-
ings we‘d go out into our respective neighborhoods or routes and
proselytize door-to-door. We‘d invite both children and the elderly to
attend church with us the next day. We brought little brown tote-
sacks full of candy and gospel tracts, and gave them to feral kids
while on our door-knocking for Jesus stops. (The ―don‘t take candy
from strangers‖ pun hit me as I wrote this!) Then, if we had a poten-
tial convert, we‘d pick them up the next Sunday morning.
As I recall, my particular bus route went through about four
different adult bus captains and drivers while I was a part of the bus
ministry. In hindsight I also recall that my route was the only one of
the eight that had such a high attrition rate. I was such an obnoxious
kid (with such an annoying personality) that I knew I must have been
8
the reason for the high turnover rate. Nevertheless, I was eventually
given the route by myself, with the exception of not being able to
drive. I‘d also be the one who scheduled the door-to-door activities on
Saturday mornings.
My appointment led to some future problems though—I was
informed one Sunday morning that I was to discontinue witnessing in
the ―black‖ neighborhoods. When I pressed the issue, I was told
bluntly to not bring so many ―niggers‖ to the church on my bus
route.
Though I was a product of the segregated South and my fami-
ly upbringing was very racist, I did not (as a preteen or even now)
believe that African Americans (or any other minority) should be
excluded from the worship services of God.
Being a naive twelve-year-old, I asked, ―Why?‖
I was told by Mr. Ronnie Brooks, the Bus Minister of Whites
Chapel Baptist Church and fourth-grade-teacher at Coosa Christian
Academy, that the church‘s deacons had approached him and made
the determination.
Again I asked, ―Why?‖
Brother Ronnie further told me, ―We have some wealthy mem-
bers who put a lot of money into the church. They‘re complaining
that too many niggers are coming to the church; and they‘re all
coming on your bus route.‖
He further admonished, ―You have to stop it.‖
―But there are only six of them on my bus route.‖
―You have to stop it.‖
Still bewildered, ―But Brother Ronnie, don‘t colored people go
to Hell too?‖
―Look, that doesn‘t matter. All of our money people are talking
about going to another church, somewhere else. Just stop it!‖
One particular Sunday morning three months later, I was
preaching a sermon to the children‘s ministry. The actual pastor of
the thriving children‘s ministry was Mr. Ed Rogers, who was also the
principal of the high school at Coosa Christian Academy. By ear he
picked out the notes of a Christian children‘s song on the old, upright
piano. An eight-year-old Black boy came up to him and complained
that a couple of the children were bullying him because of his race.
Ed Rogers didn‘t offer even a glance once at the little boy.
While still looking directly into the piano keys he said, ―So, did
it hurt you? Go sit down.‖
The little Black boy, embarrassed and hurt, was again harmed
and wronged; this time by the person in authority whom he‘d turned
to for help—the children‘s pastor.
Brother Ed must not have noticed while looking so intently at
the keyboard, that just because there were more white keys than
9
black ones, didn‘t mean the black ones were not as important to the
piano.
As of this writing, Ed Rogers is the elementary school princip-
al at Coosa Christian Academy. Also, Whites Chapel Baptist Church
has relocated to a newer property which is more centrally located in
Gadsden and is renamed CrossPoint Community Church. Maybe the
name Whites Chapel Baptist Church was just a little too obvious for
their bigotry. I suppose it is no coincidence that angels, saints, and
the Ku Klux Klan each wear white robes.
* * *
One cold, Sunday morning, Ronnie Brooks saw my newly

purchased Good News Bible. It was a modern-day translation of the
―traditional‖ King James Bible.
He barked, ―Throw it away!‖
Shocked, I asked, ―Why?‖
Ronnie Brooks told me that it was a translation that was
based on a translation from the King James Bible. He told me that a
translation of another translation would lessen the authenticity of the
scriptures.
I asked, ―Oh, so the King James Bible is the original bible that
Jesus carried, right?‖
―No.‖ Surprisingly, he didn‘t laugh at my naiveté. ―Jesus
didn‘t have a bible. The King James Bible was translated in 1611
from manuscripts that were found between 400 to 500 years after
Jesus died. We don‘t have the original writings for the bible. They‘re
all translations of older transcripts.‖
I tried to understand his explanation. I was only twelve years
old at the time and had never thought of contradictory translations,
or of manuscripts versus autographs.
―So, the King James Bible is a ‗translation of a translation?‘‖
―Yes,‖ he told me; almost dismissing me.
―Then isn‘t it ‗watered down‘ too, like the new bible you told
me not to use?‖
―No!‖ he scoffed. ―God would not allow the King James Bible to
be so widely popular if it was not the authorized version of his word!‖
Trying to understand, I pressed further.
I asked, ―But don‘t the Catholics have a different version of
the bible?‖
―Yes….‖
―Didn‘t you tell me once that Catholics were dangerous be-
cause they don‘t worship Jesus; that they worship Mary, get drunk
all-week long, and have more followers than Protestants?‖
―Yes.‖
10
―Then why did God allow their bible to be so widely popular, if

it‘s wrong? How do we know we‘re right and they‘re wrong? Don‘t they
have a more popular bible than we do?‖
Brother Ronnie looked at me with utter contempt.
―Look, Preacher Boy, I‘m not going to answer all of these ques-
tions. You‘re going to have to stop asking questions, and just do what
the leaders of this church tell you to do. That‘s what a good Christian
does!‖
―I‘m sorry. I‘m just trying to learn about God. I just want to do
the right things for God….‖
Brother Ronnie screamed, ―Damn it! Quit asking questions!
Just do what we tell you to do! And for God‘s sake, quit asking
questions!‖
Later that same year at Coosa Christian Academy, my first
CCA yearbook was covered with students‘ writings, but they were not
the usual student signatures and well wishes that one might as-
sume. No, my yearbook pages were scribbled with ―666‖ and ―Anti-
Christ‖ from cover to cover. How that association with me was
ascertained I did not know. Coosa Christian Academy was a conserv-
ative, private, Christian school and I was ―that preacher boy.‖
Regarding academics, I was continually a below-average stu-
dent, but I excelled in the required bible classes. Without exception,
my classmates knew that I was on scholarship at the school, and I
was repeatedly looked down upon and teased as a result. I was the
only pupil whose parents were divorced and unsaved and I was the
only one who was poor. They knew it and I knew it—courtesy of
Brother Ed Rogers. I suppose they would have known it anyway
though, mainly because I didn‘t wear clothes that were fashionable.
The styles and patterns rarely matched. Polyester, polka dot shirts
and wildly striped pants did not a fashion plate make! Not knowing
any better and not having a mother with disposable income, I always
seemed to wear the wrong combinations.
Of course no girls ever talked to me unless there was a group
present. Never once did I have a one-on-one conversation with a girl
while I attended CCA. The boys were no better. So much so, that
Monday was the day I dreaded most. The Good Kids10 always sat
together during lunch and exchange extravagantly made-up tales of
weekend adventures with their fathers. In-turn, they‘d each share
their boasts louder and louder about their fraudulent weekends.
Then they‘d look to my table (where I always sat alone) and ask what
my father and I did together over the weekend.
10
See chapter titled A Father and His Kids.
11
Then one of them would parrot, ―He ain‘t got no father. His
parents are divorced; that means they‘re going to Hell!‖
They‘d laugh in unison; point and laugh. The worst part was
that no teacher ever did anything to prevent it, though it happened
weekly for three years.
During my ninth grade year, a new teacher arrived. Her name
was Catherine Logan, and her son, Greg, was a classmate. He
jumped onto the divorce and hell bandwagon with the others. His
mother—our teacher—not only refused to stop him, but she chose to
antagonize me as well. Catherine Logan went so far as to write in my
yearbook that I was a ―sweet and sensitive idiot.‖ She had such
contempt for me that she attempted to give me a failing grade for the
entire Biology course because I forgot to bring a homework assign-
ment to class one particular day.
Upon word of this, my mother stormed into the principal‘s of-
fice.
Charles Custer explained to her, ―Mrs. Logan is well within
her rights to fail your son. Coosa Christian Academy is a Christian
school and the standards are higher than your kind of people are
accustomed to!‖
Though I‘d attended school at CCA for three years, it was my
mother‘s first time to make an appearance. Comparatively, she didn‘t
attend the church-half of the building when I was baptized, either.
But that day she came prepared for her son. She leaned forward in
the chair and tilted her head to Mrs. Logan.
―Did you fail your son Greg for the entire course when he
didn‘t have his homework on the very same day?‖
―No, I didn‘t. But who are you to ask questions of me? You‘re
wearing pants!‖
Principal Custer snapped, ―Yes, Ms. Nicholson, the next time
you come around godly-folk, make sure you dress appropriately.‖
My mother pulled my school yearbook out of her bag and
opened it to the faculty section.
―Why did you call my son a ‗sweet and sensitive idiot‘?‖
Principal Custer yanked the yearbook out of my mother‘s
hands and read Catherine Logan‘s inscription.
“Get out! Get out!” He stood from behind his desk and yelled,
―You and your son are not welcome here! I‘m sending you both back
out amongst the Philistines!‖
As bad as my social life was at the private Christian school, I
was in no way, shape, or form prepared to be released into the public
school system. I was given no advance warning. I had no secular
social skills and I had no established peer group with which to
migrate or mingle. The edge I held as a young, tough kid from the
projects had been decimated and chiseled away amongst the well-
12
heeled Good Kids during those emasculating years at CCA. My edge

had been forever blunted just when I needed it most.
Having been expelled without cause from Coosa Christian
Academy, the only knowledge I had was biblical. My street smarts
were exorcized and my academic studies gave way to biblical studies.
I felt as if I were being led into a Roman coliseum. Principal Charles
Custer should have just thrown me into a river with my hands tied
behind my back. Actually, that‘s exactly what he did.
As a child and young teenager I was a Southern Baptist. But
as a middle-teen, I was angry and confused; I saw no merciful acts
from the Christian god whom I worshiped. He had continually al-
lowed me to be verbally, emotionally, and socially abused (and
sometimes physically assaulted) by those whom he had called ―his
children.‖
As a teenager in high school I was assaulted in the same
manner as I had been at Coosa Christian Academy—always by
Christians. From the beginning of my midterm enrollment at Glencoe
High School I had to fight on an almost-daily basis, though I made
every effort to avoid their Crusades. Driving past a convenience store
and going three miles out of my way to another store? I did it. Walk-
ing en masse from the main school building to the band hall? I did it.
Going into classrooms early and leaving late? I did it. Avoid going to
the mall on weekends? I did it. Everything else that was humanly
possible? I did that too. But there was just no affordable sanctuary
from them.
There were two lone actions which forever altered my expe-
rience as a teenager in the Bible-belt. The first incident happened
because of the only book I ever actually checked out of the high
school library. It proved to cause me nothing but grief for years to
come. When I returned the book to the high school librarian she
announced to the whole library that I‘d checked out a ―Satanism‖
book; although it was simply a book of superstitions, omens, and
folklore—a very odd and most peculiar find for Christ-saturated
Alabama.
Secondly, I had worn a Black Sabbath T-shirt when the libra-
rian made the rebuke about the book I‘d checked out. I immediately
had to physically fight my way down the hall and into my next
classroom. All the while, the word Satanist came with each punch.
Religious persecution took over my life. I was labeled Satanist;
simply because of a library book and a rock band‘s T-shirt. My
persona ―that preacher boy‖ instantaneously became ―that damn
Satanist‖ throughout the small Alabama town. I was threatened daily
by students, faculty, and parents. While sitting in class, open palms
and clinched fists pounded the back of my neck, my head, and my
13
face as each Christian passed my desk. Of course, the teachers did

nothing to detour them, which only added to their zeal.
True to form, after the hitting, slapping, spitting, or kicking,
verbal admonitions followed.
―I hope you go to Hell, you fucking Satanist!‖
Or, ―My parents said its okay for me to get suspended as long
as I kick your fucking anti-Christian ass!‖
Ironically, I‘d never offered a statement of faith that contra-
dicted the Christian god, nor affirmed his foe, Satan. Those declara-
tions were their assumptions—based on a library book and a concert
T-shirt. They had falsely labeled me as a Satanist. More importantly,
they were the ones who acted anti-Christian!11 Juxtapose, I was the
one who went home at night and read the bible and memorized it by
chapter and verse. I was the one who wrote sermons on the week-
ends, in hopes that I would one day become a preacher.
For almost four years they pushed me and pushed me and I
failed to see any remedy or relief from the god for whom I was so
devoted. Due to their prolonged high school Inquisition tactics, I was
driven from the god of the bible. Jehovah‘s persistent denial of
protection caused me nothing but utter pain and shame. There is no
wonder with regard to my eventual retreat from Christianity.
* * *
Having divorced myself from the Christian, herd mentality of

small-town, Bible Belt, Alabama, I began to see that not even the
larger, urban areas of the state offered any safe haven from Christian
tyranny. Even Birmingham, the largest and most modern city in the
state, was not immune to Christian dominance. From the time of my
birth until the time of this writing, whenever a popular television
show, such as a series cliffhanger, series premiere, well-publicized
event, etc. was scheduled to air on the NBC network affiliate station
in Birmingham, the show would not air. Almost without fail, televi-
sion station WTVM-NBC will air a videotaped Billy Graham Crusade
instead.
Yes. This is the truth. For instance, when the characters Sam
and Diane on the ever-popular sitcom Cheers might‘ve reconciled or
broken up, Billy Graham Crusades replaced the network show.
Thousands of people across the state would have been seated happily
in their living rooms, nestled in their Lazy Boys with bowls of pop-
11
I could never understand why God refused to protect me from abusive Christians. I
began to feel that either I did not belong to him, or I had unrealized sin in my life.
Otherwise, wasn‘t he supposed to protect me?
14
corn, awaiting their favorite TV show and its conclusion from the past
week or season; only to be steadfastly disappointed to discover that
the infamous evangelist would appear on their television screens
instead of Ted Danson and Shelley Long. The TV show Cheers is just
one example. It happened frequently and continues as of this writing.
How and why the Birmingham affiliate never received sanctions or
fines from the parent network, NBC, I have never been able to reason.
What was the programming manager‘s reasoning?
―To spread the good news of Jesus Christ…and Billy Graham!‖
Also in Bible Belt Alabama, the PBS network refused (by
State-sanctioned, prohibitive declaration) to broadcast the children‘s
television series Sesame Street until 1974, because ―colored kids‖
played with ―white kids‖. Does the reader think that is absurd? What
about the year 1997, when comedienne Ellen DeGeneres‘ character
came out of the closet during her vastly popular sitcom series Ellen?
The ABC network affiliate, WJSU, refused to air the episode. Inciden-
tally, theirs was the only station nationwide that refused to do so. Of
course, it was this same TV station to celebrate, sponsor, and telecast
the burning of Beatles‘ albums during the 1960s. 12
The reader should remember that Alabama is the epitome of
Bible Belt America. Banners that read ―God is Good!‖ and ―Don‘t
Forget to Pray!‖ lined the hallways and the foyer of my high school.
Incidentally, they were hung by Principal Don Richey‘s daughter.
During my senior year (1983), one young, first-year, maverick teach-
er, Ms. Terry Noojin, approached the principal regarding the religious
displays. She began to cite Supreme Court rulings when she was
abruptly interrupted. She was quickly reminded that she hadn‘t yet
received tenure, and to ―drop it immediately.‖
* * *
I quickly became a fan of the occult section in any public li-

brary. Oddly enough, I never checked out the books. I merely made a
point of familiarizing myself with which books were available, and
that was about it. I‘d stand in the racks for hours at a time, holding
and looking at the books, but never really looking in them. Why I was
drawn to them, I could not reason. Though I was a Christian, I had
12
The Compleat Beatles © 1982, Delilah Films, Inc. All Rights Reserved
15
been labeled as a Satanist. In some form of misguided protest I began

to act out in support of the accusations. 13
Seeing as I had no peer group, I was an easy target for not on-
ly the Christian jocks, but for the coaches and Christian teachers as
well. I make no exaggerations herein. I had to defend myself on a
daily basis from abusive coaches, teachers, and students, all of whom
were self-professed Christians.14 I just couldn‘t handle it any longer.
Something had to give. The pit of my stomach was in knots twenty-
four hours a day. I skipped classes as often as I could without being
expelled.15 Teachers and the principal paddled me in front of other
students and faculty without cause on an almost-daily basis. I just
simply could not take it anymore. My family was no help. After all,
the accusations of Satanism must be right! I had hair that touched
my ears and listened to rock and roll music! The blasphemy! The
embarrassment to the family!
Besides, I wanted to go to college; and as we all know—and as
I was told weekly by my mother, ―All they do at them damn colleges is
teach people there ain‘t no God!‖
After almost four years of Christian tyranny at Glencoe High
School (not counting three years of it prior in middle school at CCA), I
came up with an idea that would keep me alive and away from their
wrath until I could graduate. According to my plan, I attended a
church service at a big Baptist church one particular Sunday even-
ing.
Halfway through the service, I yelled at the top of my lungs, ―I
want to be saved!‖
I leaned farther over the balcony.
―Hey! You down there! I want Jesus! I want Jesus! I don‘t
want to go to Hell!‖
13
―Labeling‖ is a sociological term. As an example, take an innocent and trustworthy
man and tell him continually that he is a horse thief. If he is berated and accused
often enough, after a period of time, he will become a horse thief.
14
Sociologists attest that in the schoolhouse environment, jock-Christians frequently
bully disenfranchised groups who are seen as less competitive and lacking in social
skills or social position, i.e., weaker students. Such behavior is rarely challenged by
faculty or support staff; due in part because they too were members of the jock-
Christian bully class while students in middle and high school. Identifying with the
bully class, faculty and support staff turn not only a blind eye, but frequently partici-
pate in the same bullying behavior, causing of circle of fear and dread that is near
inescapable for bullied students.
15
See Appendix A: Bullying Statistics
16
I raised my arms and waived them violently. I yelled as loudly

as I could while running down the stairs to the main floor of the
sanctuary. I fell on the steps leading up to the pulpit. With crocodile
tears I cried my eyes out.
Literally, one could‘ve heard a sewing pin as it dropped onto
the carpeting. They immediately stopped the service for my ―conver-
sion and statement of faith.‖ The Christian jocks finally left me alone
after that incident. I suppose the first rule from the jock version of
the Geneva Convention is: if he ―got saved,‖ leave him alone. For
some reason though, Christians had always wanted to persecute me,
but none ever tried to convert me.
This next statement might cause some to discontinue reading
further. For that reason I must state here and now that I make no
apologies, not directly nor indirectly. Anyone who has ever lived a life
of constant fear, oppression, and cruelty, for bullshit reasons such as
those mentioned previously herein, will understand completely. I am
glad that the Trench Coat Mafia did what they did at Columbine High
School! I applaud them. My only regret is that they did not finish the
job that they started.16
It must be demonstrated that the Columbine killers did not go
on their shooting spree because they were evil. Regardless of the
rhetoric, they were not Satanists. Simply stated, they had been
persecuted by the same ones they killed. Christians tormented them
on a daily basis—teachers and students alike. And no one—student,
faculty, or clergy—made any attempt to save them from their daily
torment.
As a result of the constant abuse and never-ending assault,
battery, and oppression I had endured at the hands of hypocritical
Christians, I began to embrace the Satanism genre by which I had
been labeled. My psyche thrust itself into rebellion against ―God,‖ his
authority, and his followers. Wasn‘t Satan the master of rebellion?
Wasn‘t Satan the foe of the God who‘s refused to protect me?
In Satanism though, I found no comfort. More importantly, I
found no solution to my pangs. All I knew about Satanism came from
the folly of the big Baptist church and the heavy metal groups with
demonic art on their album covers. Not knowing any better, I rea-
soned that all I needed to do was thwart authority wherever I found
it, and God‘s word whenever it was mentioned. Though I did not
know it at the time, (in the early 1980s) growing long hair, piercing
16
See chapter titled Sometimes Christians Wear Black.
(Editor‘s Note: The statement attached to this footnote is later reconciled in the
complete book titled Idolater and should be no cause for alarm.)
17
my ear, wearing concert T-shirts and ripped jeans did not a Satanist
make.
* * *
Three years prior, when I first joined the high school marching
band, I was fourteen and freshly expelled from Coosa Christian
Academy, I could not read or play a single note of music. I was a
horrible drummer. Everyone in the drum-line assumed that I would
spend all four marching seasons as a cymbal player. But I practiced
and studied and took the passion I held for the Holy Bible and
transferred it toward playing the drums.
In my junior year, my playing came into itself and I began to
blossom. At the end of that year, I was informed by the high school
band director that when we returned from summer vacation I would
be promoted to section leader of the drum-line. In an instant, the few
friends I had resented me because I had passed over their places in
line with seniority due to my diligence and performance. The resent-
ment ran thick. Several boycotts and walkouts by the other drum-
mers were threatened, but none took place.
As an inside joke, that same year I was nominated to be
elected chaplain for the music program-at-large. The nomination
caused further dissent with those in the ranks because it was widely
known that I had been accused of being a Satanist. Nevertheless, I
was elected Chaplain of the Music Program. When word of my elec-
tion spread to the band boosters, two girls were forced quit the band
altogether, by her father—a Baptist deacon.
* * *
As stated throughout, while in high school I‘d felt I had been

abandoned and betrayed by the God of the Christians. When no relief
came from him, and after years of harsh labeling, I rebelled against
God and deemed myself a Satanist. Having thought erroneously that
Satan would do what God had refused for so many years, I realized
my folly. Yes, I had also been ignored by the God of Satanism. Satan
had betrayed me as had Jehovah-God of the bible. It seemed that no
god would have me.
During my senior year in high school, I rejected deity at any
level or on any plane, but I‘d never considered the word atheist. Five
years later and as a young adult, one of my lady friends, Mary Jane,
asked if I believed in God. I was empty for an answer. My head and
heart raced for their respective conclusions. By far it had to be the
quickest and most earnest race of mind and emotion in history.
The words slid out past my lips.
18
―No. I don‘t.‖
A more honest statement had never been uttered by me. I was
saddened by that fact, too. No, I actually didn‘t believe God existed. It
was the very first time that I‘d realized it; that I‘d actually meant it. At
that moment, I felt empty. I was poured out of spirit.
―Well, I do,‖ she quipped, but not scornfully.
I‘d never considered the term atheist to describe my lack of
belief (or my intolerance) of Jehovah-God. When I was with Mary
Jane, the word did not cross my lips, or my mind. The first time I
recall being called atheist was in a community college Sociology class.
I sat next to a student named Mark Mills. He and a set of female
twins had recently graduated from Coosa Christian Academy. We sat
next to one another during Sociology 101, by coincidence.
Though I do not recall how or why, it somehow became known
that I did not believe in God. One of the twins found it intriguing to
meet an actual atheist. I silently wondered if she was interested from
a purely philosophical point of view or to proselytize. She stated that
she‘d heard of atheists, but had never actually met one.
I must admit that I did not give her a good, rehearsed reason
for my disbelief in God.17 I‘d never really thought of a presentable
reason. I was one, and I couldn‘t have cared less. I could‘ve recalled
the torment and torture I‘d endured by those who‘d attended her
alma mater. I could‘ve reminisced about how those at Glencoe High
School (students and faculty alike) had labeled me as a Satanist
because I listened to hard rock music, wore a rock and roll T-shirt,
and attempted to check out a book on folklore and superstition.
However, those memories were too painful and much too recent for
immediate recitation. I also dreaded, due to pride and the emascula-
tion factors involved, to be that candid with someone I did not know.
Within the next three semesters of community college, I was
again referred to as an atheist while meeting with an English profes-
sor. Ironically he told me that I was all-too-willing to ―pronounce
atheism to the world.‖ I found that to be an odd statement and an
even odder observation. From elementary school to junior college, I‘d
caught shit at every turn. I was a loner; preferring to keep to myself. I
had never worn my atheism on my sleeve. I knew better. From
experience, the proverbial heart on my sleeve always led to blood on
my cheek. I did not want that. I fought tirelessly to avoid that. I was a
loner. I was most definitely a spiritual loner. I wanted to be left
17
Double standard alert! Why is it acceptable to challenge someone who does not
believe in God, but not to ask someone why they believe in God?
19
alone—to be free from the neo-crusaders of Gadsden, Alabama. But

regardless, they always refused to leave me alone.
Needless to say, during a stint at community college, it started
up all over again. In a mandatory Speech class, the class professor
was the pastor of a local church—a big one. On controversial speech
day, we were to choose a topic that was controversial, and we were to
defend our position on same. A young lady and former cheerleader
chose the topic of horse racing.18 She presented her background
material eloquently and actually brought out some points that many
of us had not considered. I thought she did a fine job. The professor
on the other hand, threatened to give her an ―incomplete.‖
Why?
She began her speech by stating, ―Millions of years ago, the
lowly eohippus could never have known that his ancestors would be
at the center of such civic and religious disputes as are our current
gambling statutes.‖
The blasphemy she uttered was inconsolable to the good pas-
tor. He stated, ―You interjected evolutionist thought into your speech.
You have to be careful with that! You‘ll have to give your speech
again after you remove that nonsense.‖
A college professor? At a state-run community college?
The young lady promised, ―I‘ll never make that mistake again!‖
The next day, I presented my speech on the controversial top-
ic of the separation of church and state. I failed the class. Word of my
required speech spread across campus like wildfire—a heretic‘s fire.
The crusades were back; and I just didn‘t have it in me to go through
it again—being assaulted by groups in restrooms, walking the hall-
way gauntlet to my next class, frequent poundings, failing grades,
and total isolation: three semesters later, I quit school.
The time frame was two years after I‘d graduated from high
school. Before I‘d quit, however, I‘d visited Ms. Terry Noojin, the only
teacher who had not tortured me and who had made it possible for
me to attend community college. The reason for my visit was that her
father-in-law had placed a large election sign in my front yard. In the
newspaper he‘d listed his qualifications for sheriff of Etowah County.
One of his qualifications was that he‘d been a member, and possibly a
deacon, of some large Baptist church for many years. I scoffed—
alleging religion had no place in a civil election, or for the qualifica-
tions of an elected person. She agreed, but brought to my attention
the fact that all candidates listed the same.
She then said, ―Oh, I forgot…you don‘t believe in God.‖
18
Alabama had gone through a brouhaha for two years because the city of Birming-
ham wanted to build a horse track in Jefferson County.
20
She continued by saying that she definitely believed in God,

and spoke to him daily. Though she didn‘t rebuke me, I recall the
disappointment I felt with hearing her confession. She was an edu-
cated woman who was in pursuit of dual master‘s degrees, and had
actually lived outside of Northeast Alabama. She was the sole reason
I was allowed to graduate from high school. She‘d even loaned money
to me so that I could attend a senior trip with the high school band.
Also, she paid the required application fee for me to attend communi-
ty college, and secured state funding for me to do so. I‘d confided in
her like no other, to date. My antics were so outlandish (due to the
torment I‘d endured, both in public and at home) that she was given
tenure before her first year as a teacher had concluded. Throughout
my senior year, Ms. Terry Noojin was my academic and social salva-
tion.
Nevertheless, I strangely felt cheated by her when she uttered
those words. Ms. Noojin did not belittle me with her comment. Not in
the least. She merely surprised me; shocked me, was more like it.
After the realization that she too was a believer like them, I felt that I
was the only one in the entire world who did not believe in God. I
really believed it. I also thought that, if he were real, I was certainly
the only one whom he had abandoned or rejected. I had no expe-
rience outside of Alabama. The internet was not yet created. At that
time, television shows rarely pontificated about atheism or other
religious challenges. Billy Graham Crusades replaced scheduled
network programming. Books and albums were steadily burned at
church services. At that moment—the moment her words crossed her
lips and entered my ears—I felt more alone than at any other time,
prior or since.
I remained an atheist till my late-twenties. It was only when I
was in extreme trouble of some sort or in great pain and despair that
I‘d call upon the Christian-God of my youth. When I was in my late
twenties and early-thirties, however, I found myself in what seemed
to be a constant state of pain and despair. Due chiefly to the abuse
and neglect of my daughter, Bethany, I began to call on him regular-
ly. The more powerless I was to protect her, the deeper I dove into the
God pit. For over a decade my Five Stages of Grief were stuck on
Bargaining; and I bartered spiritual mortgages to houses I did not
own, and to a God who refused to accept me or protect my daughter.
Or so I believed.
In my anguish and naïveté, I was dumbfounded. In essence, I
had a Rapture mentality—I believed God was supposed to keep me
from torment and torture, persecution and Inquisition. What I failed
to recall, however, was that Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego were
not saved from the fiery furnace; they were saved through the fiery
21
furnace.19 Also, I did not understand that God had saved Daniel
through the lion‘s den, and not from it.20
In addition, I‘d apparently overlooked Peter‘s instructions:
―Beloved, think it not strange concerning the fiery trial

which is to try you, as though some strange thing
happened unto you...‖21
And probably the most pertinent biblical example of when a

righteous person was tortured falsely is that of Joseph. He was
beaten and sold into slavery by his brothers. Later, he was falsely
accused of rape by his employer‘s wife. He was unjustly imprisoned
and denied release multiple times. Then finally, when God vindicated
him, he knew that his suffering was for the betterment of his family,
and for all of mankind. All through Joseph‘s fiery trials, he never
once complained! He never once cussed God. Neither did the later
prophets. If they were to be examples for me, I failed them miserably.
For all of my knowledge of the bible, I somehow missed all of those
wonderful life examples, and followed none of them.22 For that, I am
truly ashamed.
19
Daniel 3:13–30
20
Daniel 6:18–24
21
1Peter 4:12
22
In addition, no preacher or Christian layperson ever advised me appropriately, as
per the last four paragraphs of this chapter. I was told repeatedly, ―When you get right
with God, he‘ll protect you!‖ They each put me in a spiritual tailspin from which I still
find difficult to recover.
22
Christian Taliban
―If you‘re late for church, you‘ll be on time for hell!‖

~ LaJean Kerry
While reflecting on the preceding chapter, please consider the

following:
Example #1:
When I was nineteen years old, I shopped in a department

store with my girlfriend. While looking for clothes I noticed that
another couple, near our same ages, was having a very heated
argument. The girl held an outfit that her boyfriend kept trying to
snatch out of her hands.
He screamed at her, ―No! I said, no! Hell no!‖
―But,‖ she begged, ―I‘ll only wear it when I‘m with you!‖
His face was as stern as his voice. The look of anger and con-
tempt, I‘ll never forget.
He continued, ―No! I said, ‗Hell no!‘‖
She continued to cry. She looked around, as if she was em-
barrassed at her boyfriend‘s display. Then she added, ―I‘ll pay for it,
myself! Please let me buy it! I‘ll only wear it when I‘m with you! Please
let me buy it!‖
Example #2:
During my senior year at Glencoe High School (a public

school), the principal scheduled various church groups that per-
formed sermons/lectures for the student body once a month. Atten-
dance was required. Even though such a requirement flew in the face
of the separation of church and state, Principal Don Richey contin-
ued to schedule the appearances, even when first-year teacher Ms.
Terry Noojin objected.
Every time there was a church meeting in the gym, Principal
Don Richey walked to the back of the building and grabbed me by the
arm. As mentioned earlier, I was an atheist, though I‘d never used
the term. The fact that I was smoking cigarettes was of no concern to
Christian Taliban
him. However, not going to a required church assembly? Unthinkable!

Sacrilege!
On each occasion, I‘d tell Mr. Richey, ―I can‘t go…you know
I‘m a Buddhist!‖
I wasn‘t a Buddhist, but each time I‘d mention a different reli-
gion in defense of the separation of church and state. Each time, I
was forced—dragged physically—to the assembly, paddled in public
on the basketball court, and walked over to a seat on the front row.
―You need this more than anybody, Nicholson!‖ A couple of
times I thought he was going take a bow.
Example #3:
Years earlier when I attended Coosa Christian Academy,

males were required to wear dress clothes and hair was to be cut
above the ears, off the collar, and above the eyebrows. The hair-cut
policy was stricter than military standards. Why? Because hair at
any other length was ―ungodly, damnable, and a direct route to hell.‖
Girls were forbidden to wear makeup, were required to wear modest
dresses that hung no less than five inches below the knees.
Not much has changed since then. Today, in Parochial
schools across America, however, uniform standards remain in force,
whereas the hair and makeup standards have been relaxed. Nation-
wide, church standards have become more lax regarding hair,
makeup, and attire. But restrictions still apply. Secularly, adult men
still object when their women dress flirty or sexily, even in their
presence. Public and parochial schools in many jurisdictions still use
corporeal punishment.
* * *
I have a question: How are these three examples any different

than the Taliban? I‘m definitely not a proponent of Islam, but how do
their restrictions differ from sanctimonious Christianity? Muslims
and Jews are prohibited from eating certain foods. Muslims and
Protestant Christians are forbidden from alcohol consumption. How
does the paddling I received in Example #2 differ from an Islamic
public caning? Muslim women are allowed to show fewer facial
features than even Catholic nuns. In Christianity, merely for piety‘s
sake, one must dress appropriately at church functions. All of the
above behaviors, prohibitions, and restrictions are based solely on
religious taboos. In essence, and as a point of fact, one is no better
than the other, i.e., Christian taboos are no better than Islamic ones.
24
Sometimes Christians Wear Black
―Truth is so precious that she should always be attended

by a bodyguard of lies.‖
~Sir Winston Churchill
The reader will recall a statement I had made during the

chapter titled One Man in Search of One God where I referred to the
Trench Coat Mafia of Columbine High School infamy. Ironically,
synchronicity placed ten high-profile school shootings within a four-
year period, from October 1997 to March 2001 (a relatively narrow
time frame). The six most well known school shootings were:
• Pearl High School; Pearl, Mississippi; October 01, 1997

2 dead, 7 wounded
• Heath High School; Paducah, Kentucky; December 01, 1997

3 dead, 5 wounded
• Westside Middle School; Jonesboro, Arkansas; March 24, 1998

5 dead, 10 wounded
• Parker Middle School; Edinboro, Pennsylvania; April 26, 1998

1 dead, 3 wounded
• Thurston High School; Springfield, Oregon; May 20, 1998

4 dead, 25 wounded
• Columbine High School; Littleton, Colorado; April 20, 1999

15 dead, 23 wounded
I understand that the reader at this point might wonder if I

am to call these various murderers Christians, as per this chapter‘s
title might suggest. Such a notion is far from the case, as will be
determined as the reader continues. It should be noted, however, that
the two shooters involved in the Columbine High School incident
targeted Christians.
In the same manner and for the same reasons, so was the
lone gunman on September 15, 1999, at Wedgwood Baptist Church
in Ft. Worth, Texas. 23 His name was Larry Gene Ashbrook, and he
opened fire on an estimated 200 teenagers during a youth rally in one
of the church‘s auditoriums. Reportedly, there were 400 people on
church property-at-large during the shooting.
As presented across websites, telecasts, and within the
church-commissioned book,24 the story is one of hope, determination,
and perseverance both during and after the tragedy. All of the
coached stories are of how God used the massacre to his benefit.
Common examples include how 35 people in Japan, after having seen
the news reports, were converted to Christianity, of how Saudi Arabia
was recipient to the gospel of Jesus for the very first time due to the
sermon by the pastor of Wedgwood Baptist being televised in an
unprecedented way in the Middle East, and how a local, Ft. Worth
D.J. led a man to Christ while on the air.
However, there is a story that has only partially been made
available to the public, and is almost never preached from pulpits. It
is a story so endearing (and simultaneously appalling) I feel it must
be told. Firstly, it is the intriguing, human-interest perspective of a
disenfranchised teenager named Jeremiah. 25 Secondly, it is a story
of Christian hypocrisy run amok. Thus, I present the truth about the
shooting incident at Wedgwood Baptist Church.
At Wedgwood Baptist Church‘s youth group‘s annual See You
at The Pole ritual, a Christian rock band performed a microphone
check; a Christian drama troupe rehearsed onstage, and a lone
gunman in his mid-forties sat in his father‘s 1982 Chevy truck while
performing a last-minute equipment check. All the while, grungy
Jeremiah Neitz26 sat isolated and alone. Isolation was common for
23
Synchronicity: on March 19, 1999, six months prior to the Wedgwood Baptist
Church shooting in Ft. Worth, TX, a lone gunman entered the New St. John Baptist
Church in Gonzales, LA and began to execute the attendees during a Wednesday
evening church service. Four died and four were wounded.
24
Crawford, Dan R., Galey, Kevin and Gillette, Chip. Night of Tragedy: Dawning of
Light. Colorado Springs, CO: Shaw Books/Waterbrook Press, 2000.
25
Ibid. Jeremiah Neitz‘s name is only mentioned twice in the book. (pp. 68-69 and
p.49) In the second listing, he is cryptically listed within the book‘s Time and Map
Code for Shooting. I find it appalling that throughout the commissioned book,
everyone who is mentioned, either individually or as a family or group, visitor,
nonmember, or well-wisher, is listed and presented as a sufferer, martyr, and hero.
Jeremiah is not given any of these distinctions.
26
Pronounced ―nights‖.
26
Jeremiah. He was an outcast. The others in the church‘s youth

department refused regularly to welcome or accept him.
According to Senior Pastor Al Meredith, Jeremiah ―got in-
volved with the wrong crowd…and it showed…three months prior [to
the shooting] he had gotten his girlfriend pregnant and lost his job
within the same day.‖27
It was reputed—and warned—that Jeremiah always wore
black. He looked more thrasher than Christian. Eighteen months
earlier, rumors spread that he had ―dabbled in Wicca, and other
forms of ‗devil worship‘.‖ Compared to the others his age, he definitely
should‘ve felt as if he didn‘t belong. He had dropped out of high
school and worked as a cook at a fast food joint. He had a couple of
arrests for theft and assault, and had been placed on misdemeanor
probation. To add insult to injury, he was living in sin with his
seventeen-year-old girlfriend, whom he‘d ―gotten pregnant‖ when she
was only sixteen. He used to smoke cigarettes, drink beer, and was
generally not like the Good Kids28 of the church‘s youth group. The
Good Kids were all modest, preppy dressed, decent-folk. They were
Good Kids with good grades, from good families. They naturally had a
burning desire to share the good news of their Lord—Jesus Christ!
Jeremiah had been struggling in his walk with Jesus.29 Surely, there
must have been some great, recurring sin in his life to have been
struggling.
Pastor Al had just recently quipped that ―Wedgwood Baptist
Church was a model for how not to choose a location for a church,
because nobody could find it, not even on a map.” (Maybe they just
27
This was stated to me in an email from Senior Pastor Al Meredith. He also stated,
―Jeremiah was not rejected by the youth members, and that they even helped him out
financially.‖ This is a lie! A Southwayside Baptist Church youth group was performing
volunteer work, by picking up trash and roadside litter, when one of the kids found a
one hundred dollar bill. They gave it to their youth minister Adam Hammond and he
placed it in his desk drawer until ―they could determine how God wanted it to be
spent.‖ At the time of the shooting, Jeremiah was two days away from eviction from
his apartment (his roommate skipped out on the rent) and he lost his job as a cook at
a fast food restaurant. Prior to the shooting Mr. Hammond made no offer to assist
Jeremiah. After the shooting incident, he helped Jeremiah find a job and a cheaper
apartment with a $75 deposit. He then gave the one hundred dollar bill to Jeremiah
and said that it was a gift from God. This gift did not come from the youth ministry
members of Wedgwood Baptist Church as Al Meredith led me to believe!
28
See chapter titled A Father and His Kids
29
Genesis 32:24–32; Jacob-Israel wrestled, i.e., struggled, with God.
27
hadn‘t embraced the community like Jesus had commissioned, i.e.,

maybe location had nothing to do with it!)
Pastor Al had also recently prayed, ―God, do whatever it takes
for you to expand this ministry.‖
I suppose that feeding and housing the poor, the orphan and
the widow wasn‘t a good enough definition of ministry at Wedgwood;
nor was welcoming the likes of Jeremiah Neitz.
Nonetheless, Jeremiah did what he usually did: he sat alone
and watched the others—the Good Kids. Some of them mumbled
―hello‖ in passing, but most just wouldn‘t have bothered.
Just look at him!
You know who he is!
At 7:00PM, the Good Kids came in from the See You at the
Pole ritual,30 where once a year they‘d gather around the flag pole,
proclaim their love for God, and pray for their country and church.
Yes, the good kids always made a public declaration of their faith and
love for God!
However, Larry Ashbrook had other plans for the Good Kids at
Wedgewood Baptist Church—he wanted to challenge them.
Without warning and with dual pistols blazing into the crowd,
he screamed repeatedly, ―Do you really believe in this Jesus bull-
shit?‖
He lit a fresh cigarette, reached up, and adjusted his cap. He
took a deep breath and screamed out the question again.
―Do you really believe in this Jesus bullshit?‖
He continued to fire indiscriminately into the crowd.
The Good Kids of Wedgwood Baptist, along with the other vi-
siting youth groups, thought that the gunman was part of the up-
coming skit. Likewise, several of them turned in the pews and stood
up, pointed at their pubescent chests, and yelled, ―Shoot me! Shoot
me!‖
The gunman obliged. He then noticed that the same Good
Kids who, only moments earlier, begged to be martyrs for their faith—
and Jesus—ran around the auditorium and dove underneath pews;
each screamed in ear-piercing shrills. Frustrated, gunman Larry
Ashbrook screamed out to them and demanded that they stand still.
The Good Kids wouldn‘t listen; they continued to run and yell for
their lives.31
30
Compare and contrast with the Paganism‘s annual Maypole ritual.
31
Ironic, since Jesus, his Apostles and Stephen (the first Christian martyr) willingly
went to their deaths for their newfound Christian beliefs.
28
This is not a skit! This is real!

It was apparent they were not willing to be literal martyrs for
Jesus. Larry reasoned that jumping underneath pews and hiding
behind one another did not make for easy targets. It doesn‘t make for
adequate martyrs, either.
He paused long enough to roll a defective pipe bomb down the
aisle, but they just continued to squall while running around pews
and toward the stage exits. Having reloaded, Larry began to shoot
again.
The gunman noticed that one teenager sat idly alone, with his
hands clasped together and his eyes closed. It was Jeremiah and he
was praying. Confused, and a little intrigued, the gunman walked
from the front of the stage area toward the back of the auditorium.
He walked toward the unmoving, praying youth named Jeremiah
Neitz. The gunman shot twelve more rounds into the crowd that was
huddled by the right-side exit, hitting two more targets, i.e., kids.
Why don’t they just stand still?
Jeremiah, alone as usual—as alone as the gunman, Larry
Ashbrook—watched as Larry gingerly approached him. He looked
Jeremiah dead in the eyes from underneath the brim of his ball cap.
Jeremiah spoke, ―Sir, you don‘t need to be doing this.‖
―What the fuck are you doing? Sitting here, praying? Why
aren‘t you screaming and running for the doors like everyone else?
These fucking Christians...‖
Jeremiah declared to the gunman, ―Sir, I know what you
need. You need Jesus Christ!‖ Looking down the smoking barrel of
the Ruger 9 mm. pistol that was pointed at his face did not seem to
deter Jeremiah.
The gunman cussed Jeremiah while he inserted another am-
mo-clip. He too tried to ignore Jeremiah, much like the Good Kids
had. All the while, the Good Kids continued to run and jump while
they attempted their escape. They ran and screamed during the
entire twelve minutes of chaos.
Oddly enough, Jeremiah noticed that he and the gunman
were both dressed like they didn‘t belong at church. They both
smelled of cigarettes, and were all alone in the world—all alone along
an inside-aisle in the back of Wedgwood Baptist Church. It was then
that Jeremiah felt a tug at the bottom of his pants. He saw periphe-
rally the youth minister of Southwayside Baptist Church, Adam
Hammond, who had brought him to the youth meeting. The youth
minister lay prostrate—hidden between two rows of pews. Like the
Good Kids of Wedgwood, Adam Hammond too was cowering for his
life.
Larry Ashbrook asked stoic Jeremiah, ―What religion are
you?‖
29
Jeremiah remained seated while he responded. It was an at-

tempt to save the youth minister who had abandoned him only
moments earlier.
Jeremiah replied, ―I‘m a Christian. I‘m a Baptist, too.‖
―A Baptist? Well that sucks!‖ Larry‘s face became enraged.
―No, sir; it doesn‘t suck.‖
He continued to challenge Jeremiah by asking, ―Do you really
believe this shit?‖
―Yes, sir, I do!‖
A fury covered the gunman‘s face. He‘d digested that Jeremiah
sat firmly and without panic, unlike the others his age. He turned
and resumed to shoot at youth members as they screamed, cried,
and denied—nay, refused—their testimonies for their precious Lord
Jesus. He turned again toward Jeremiah.
It was the first time Jeremiah saw the gunman‘s eyes that
were hidden underneath the tattered, gunpowder-saturated baseball
cap.
―God put me on this Earth for a purpose,‖ he declared as he
quickly snatched his pants leg from his youth minister‘s panicking
tugs. His youth minister was still married to the floor.
Jeremiah continued, ―Sir, you need Jesus Christ in your life!‖
―Fuck you!‖ Larry again teasingly pointed one of his guns at
Jeremiah. His face appeared shocked when he saw Jeremiah rise to
stand. The gunman straightened his arm, pointed the pistol, and
took dead aim at Jeremiah‘s face, then chest, then face again.
While standing eye-to-eye with the gunman, nineteen-year-old
Jeremiah spread out his arms; mimicking Jesus on Calvary‘s cross.
He made such an irresistible target for the gunman, didn‘t he?
―Go ahead. Shoot me,‖ Jeremiah offered. ―But I know where
I‘m going when I die.‖
The sounds of the Good Kids‘ screams almost drowned out
Jeremiah‘s voice. Adam Hammond still cowered on the floor, hiding
underneath Jeremiah, but he was within earshot (and gunshot).
Jeremiah asked, ―Do you know where you‘re going when you
die?‖
The gunman looked ill at ease, turned from Jeremiah‘s out-
stretched arms, and walked farther back in the auditorium. He sat in
a lone pew, near where Jeremiah had been seated; isolated and
estranged. Larry Gene Ashbrook turned his gun onto himself, pressed
the barrel against his temple, and pulled the trigger. Prior to his
suicide, seven people were killed and seven others were wounded.
Though he had six unused clips of ammunition left in his equipment
bag and there were still 300 people in the church, the execution of
the Good Kids had ended that evening, all thanks to the testimony of
a ne‘er-do-well named Jeremiah Neitz.
30
Though the gunman was dead, the Good Kids continued to

cry hysterically, bolt for the doorways, and dive underneath pews.
Adam Hammond, the youth minister, remained crouched—hidden
and secure—when he heard the suicide shot. He believed the gunman
had executed Jeremiah and feared that he would be the next to die.
By his actions, Adam Hammond offered no Christian testimo-
ny to Larry Ashbrook. He did not make an effort to ambush the
gunman in an attempt to save the 200 or so children that day; and
he left Jeremiah alone to die.
Pastor Al Meredith said that Jeremiah Neitz should not be re-
ferred to as a hero. He says that the real heroes were the Good Kids
who continued to talk to Jeremiah after he‘d ―gotten involved with the
wrong crowd.‖ He defined wrong crowd as Jeremiah‘s ―pregnant,
underage girlfriend.‖
None of the Good Kids were willing to die for their Lord Jesus
Christ that day. Hadn‘t Jesus mandated martyrdom through his
teachings and his servants‘ writings?32 Let it be known that though
the Good Kids offered their lives when they believed the threat was
part of a rehearsed skit, each and every one of them showed their
true love for Jesus. However, they later proved to their peers, the
world, and their God that they were nothing less than spoiled hypo-
crites and fair-weather Christians. But one loner, Jeremiah Neitz,
loved Jesus. Jeremiah loved Jesus enough that he was willing to die
for his Lord and Savior. He loved Jesus enough that he was also
willing to die for the Good Kids of Wedgwood Baptist Church—the
very same Good Kids that believed they were too good to walk across
the street and say ―hello‖ to him.
Since the shooting incident, Al Meredith, the senior pastor of
Wedgwood Baptist Church, has said repeatedly during interviews and
press conferences, ―We must forgive. I hold no rancor in my heart for
the family of Larry Ashbrook. 33 The poor man was deranged. His
mind has been twisted by heaven knows what.‖
32
Matthew 16:24, Luke 9:23, and Mark 8:34
33
According to Baptist Press: ―Ashbrook‘s words were recorded both on videotape
and in the minds of every person in the room that horrible night. The tapes have been
destroyed, upon agreement between the church and the police department, but
multiple witnesses said they heard Ashbrook say, ―I can‘t believe you believe this
junk‖ (actual word was bullshit) and heard him shouting anti-Baptist rhetoric and
cursing God. ―It appears Ashbrook was specifically targeting Baptists, rather than
Evangelical Christians, Christians, or people of faith generally.‖
31
On January 31, 2000, during the Texas Baptist Conference,

he commented, ―There are consequences when Christians do not
reach out to people whom others have rejected.‖ (He was referring to
the gunman, not Jeremiah. The irony—nay, hypocrisy—is as thick as
molasses, isn‘t it?)34
* * *
When Pastor Rod and I discussed the massacre at Wedgwood

Baptist Church, I was on fire for God and I rebuked both the hypocri-
sy of the teenagers in the congregation and Pastor Al Meredith.
Brother Rod told me that he too would have looked down on young
Jeremiah for wearing casual clothes such as black denim jeans and
hard rock concert T-shirts to church functions.
He declared, ―Christians should always dress up when they go
to church. It should be no other way.‖
―Rod, I disagree totally! Some people don‘t have nice clothes.
As a matter of fact, several people I know have told me that they can’t
Accusation on my part: It is my opinion, through my independent research, that

Wedgwood Baptist Church (and possible the SBC) has used the absence of the tapes
to further its own agenda, thus making Baptists pseudo-martyrs after-the-fact, and
that the tapes were destroyed for this purpose, and to not allow the truth of their own
children‘s rejections of Jesus be known, nor to allow any knowledge of the only true
Christian in the auditorium that fateful day: the ne‘er-do-well hero, Jeremiah Neitz.
34
Larry Gene Ashbrook walked toward the church building and was seen by De‘an
Simpson. She stated that she noticed that he looked [he was smoking and not
fashionably dressed] out of place, but rather than welcome him or ask if he needed
help or assistance, she chose to ignore him because she was late for the concert.
Wasn‘t a Rabbi late for an appointment in the Parable of the Good Samaritan? Also,
church custodian and seminary student Jeff Laster approached Ashbrook before he
entered the building. Admittedly, he too refused to welcome Ashbrook. He stated that
Ashbrook ―looked out of place‖ and chose instead to demand that he extinguish his
cigarette because he was on church property, rather than welcome him. Apparently,
smokers and damned souls are not welcomed at Wedgwood Baptist Church.
Poetically, Laster was the first to be shot. By the stench of Simpson's hypocrisy, she
should've been the second.
(Editor‘s Note: The last sentence to this footnote is later reconciled in the complete
book titled Idolater and should be no cause for alarm.)
32
attend church because they didn‘t have nice clothes to wear. They
always mention to me that everyone at church wears a suit and tie.‖
―And they should wear a suit and a tie!‖ As he leaned forward
in his chair, his voice grew louder. ―If you had an appointment to
meet the governor, wouldn‘t you wear your best suit? Well, if people
are going to church, shouldn‘t they dress in their best suits to stand
before the King?‖
33
Corporate Criminals Christians
―Christians worship the messenger, but disregard his message.‖

~ Victor C. Klein
Take a good, long look at the pews of any Protestant church in

America. Of those in attendance, how many are business owners?
How many are in upper-management? How many are realtors,
lawyers, doctors, or insurance agents? How many are white? How
many take at least one vacation a year? How many have children who
attend private schools? That appears to be the mainstay of the
congregation, doesn‘t it? How many of those mentioned hold leader-
ship positions at the church?
Juxtapose, how many people hold leadership positions at the
church that do not have the aforementioned criteria? That‘s what I
thought.
Pastor Jim Brown frequently tells of a certain story that is

well worth repeating. It follows:
―During the late 1980s, I left the pulpit and tried my

hand at real estate. Having earned a rather large
commission from the sale of a commercial property, I
knew I was supposed to tithe but I didn't know where
to tithe to. For this purpose, my wife and I attended a
big Baptist church in Hendersonville. When the offer-
ing plate was passed, we deposited a check for
$20,000 and never returned. We‘d hoped that it would
be used to serve God.
―A week or two later, I received a letter in the
mail from the big Baptist church where we‘d deposited
the check. The senior pastor or head deacon (I don't
remember which) had asked by letter for me to become
a member of the church's finance committee. No one
at the church had met either of us; we were one-time
visitors and certainly not members. However, since
they did not know me by name, and saw that I had
given such a large amount, they had apparently as-
sumed that I would make regular donations in that or
a similar amounts.‖
Without having met him, without knowing his character, or if

he had a love for God, they were willing to make him a deacon at the
church!
Hypocrisy!
Didn‘t Jesus tell his disciples that they were to take the seats
at the back of the church? 35 Didn‘t Paul state that the stronger
members were supposed to support and lift up the lesser members? 36
Why haven‘t Christians done this? Why do they refuse to do this?
Every time I‘ve attended church—regardless of the locale—I‘ve
passed people on my way inside that did not have enough; not
enough food, proper housing, adequate clothing, or gainful employ-
ment. Christian apologists and members of large congregations will
spout Paul by declaring, ―…that if any would not work, neither
should he eat.‖37
Jehovah said that ―…the poor will never cease out of land.‖38
Further, Jesus mentioned that the poor would be with us al-
ways.39
Those are the three detractions Christians (and all pastors
and TV preachers) give most often for their lack of caring and altru-
ism; and their abundance of apathy and neglect.
However, said Christians will cherry pick the Jehovah state-
ment above, without admitting to the context of scripture. It is as
follows:
―If there be among you a poor man of one of thy breth-

ren within any of thy gates in thy land which the
LORD thy God giveth thee, thou shalt not harden thine
heart, nor shut thine hand from thy poor brother: But
thou shalt open thine hand wide unto him, and shalt
surely lend him sufficient for his need, in that which
he wanteth.40 Beware that there be not a thought in
thy wicked heart, saying, The seventh year, the year of
35
Matthew 23:1–12
36
I Corinthians 12:12–26
37
II Thessalonians 3:10
38
Deuteronomy 15:11
39
Matthew 26:11 and Mark 14:7
40
That means regardless of his credit rating!
36
release, is at hand; and thine eye be evil against thy

poor brother, and thou givest him nought; and he cry
unto the LORD against thee, and it be sin unto thee.
Thou shalt surely give him, and thine heart shall not
be grieved when thou givest unto him: because that for
this thing the LORD thy God shall bless thee in all thy
works, and in all that thou puttest thine hand unto.
For the poor shall never cease out of the land: there-
fore I command thee, saying, Thou shalt open thine
hand wide unto thy brother, to thy poor, and to thy
needy, in thy land.‖41
Born-again Christians fail to recognize that both Jesus and

Jehovah gave empirical commands: ―Feed the poor, clothe and
shelter the homeless; protect the widow, the orphan, and the stran-
ger.‖42 Jesus quickly countered the most popular excuse for not
taking care of both the poor and extended families. He said the
hypocrite‘s excuse was that he‘d given all of his money to the temple
and had none left over for his impoverished parents. The reader
should note that Jesus was furious when he made mention of this
excuse.
Without hesitation, churchgoers will state proudly (if not out-
right disdainfully) that they tithe ten percent of their income to their
local church or television ministry. Their argument is the same that
received a rebuke from Jesus in the previous paragraph. If born-
again readers have not figured this out yet, Jesus hated churches,
synagogues, and the religious elite of his day! If you do not feed,
clothe, and house the homeless, the poor, the widow, the orphan,
and illegal immigrants, he probably hates you too!
Why do they continue to fight against Jesus‘ words and bibli-
cal instruction? Because it fits their mindset; that one extrapolated
statement from Paul makes it easy to turn a blind eye and a har-
dened heart. As is usual, the aforementioned citation by Paul is
conveniently taken out of context. Easily stated, Christians do not
care about the poor, or for minor and dependent children.
―When they get right with God, he‘ll provide,‖ is the often-
parroted quip.
Jesus cast no such judgment on the poor. He did not rebuke
them if they didn‘t work. Most of America‘s poor cannot find work.
How many Christians in regular attendance at the local churches are
41
Deuteronomy 15:7–11
42
Stranger in scripture is defined as ―immigrant‖ or ―illegal alien‖.
37
business owners or managers? Didn‘t we take that census at the

outset? How many Christians are in the position to grant jobs or offer
assistance? How many profess to be true Christians? Without excep-
tion, every time a person is hungry, unemployed, or homeless within
five miles of a church, it is an indictment against that church!
Christians can raise money so that their precious youth
groups can travel to amusement parks, or throw pizza parties in the
fellowship hall; but not to feed, clothe, house, or employ the poor.
―We don‘t talk to the poor because they don‘t go to church. We
can‘t give them any money….they‘ll just spend it on cigarettes, liquor,
or drugs…but when they get right with God…‖
What a crock! Jesus never gave admonitions against the poor.
He fed them!
Every single time a church has a pizza party for its youth
group and it does not invite the bad kids from the bad neighborhoods
it is yet another indictment against the church and the youth minis-
ter. The good kids from good neighborhoods, with good grades and
good futures, all eating pizza together to the exclusion of the bad kids
from bad neighborhoods with bad grades and bad futures—does
anyone else see the hypocrisy in this?
The choir-singing soccer mom will surely protest, ―But we
don‘t want our children to hang out with the wrong crowd!‖
Lady, Jesus was frequently with the wrong crowd. His entire
ministry was built on it!
Jesus said, ―Go ye into all the world and preach the gospel to
every living creature.‖43
He did not say, ―Go ye into all the world and preach the gospel
to every churchgoing Christian.‖
Churches frequently hire professional Christian youth groups
and promote Christian rock music; Old Time gospel quartets will go
from church to church on Sunday nights and sing for the saved
(while raping the collection plates). But the man sitting at a local bar
with a cigarette in one hand and a shot glass in the other is more
important to Jesus than a realtor who attends church every week.
That hurting man at the bar (or crack house) is precious to Jesus,
though shunned by the church.
―The fields are ripe for the harvest…‖44
It‘s time the church reached out to the communities in their
midst. Churches receive tax-exempt status on the basis of religion to
promote better living in their communities, but the modern church
43
Mark 16:15
44
John 4:35
38
treats its tax-exemption as no more than a local lodge or social center

for the well-heeled and privileged. Hypocritical families with two
luxury cars drive past old, broken down jalopies that belong to people
without the adequate transportation necessary to earn a living.
Wealthy Christians should note that public transportation isn‘t
always available; most cannot take bus lines that don‘t run late at
night or go to the areas where they could work, e.g. in a warehouse
district or similar places. Here‘s an idea: Sell one car; buy three or
four cheaper cars with the proceeds. Give the cars to the local poor.
Keep one of the lesser cars for yourself.
―But I‘d be embarrassed.‖
Then you should be embarrassed to call yourself Christian. I
know Jesus is embarrassed of you!
Jesus told the rich man, ―Sell all that you have and give it to
the poor...‖45
But born-again Christians haven‘t even met that empirical
command halfway.
Every year in America, for-profit corporations contribute more
to the poor and needy than all of the religious organizations with tax-
exempt status combined!46 The ratio of donations by commercial
corporations compared to non-profit churches is eighty-to-one. Now,
that is an indictment against the church!
* * *
Okay, from the previous census, how many business owners

and managers pay their employees once a week, or every two weeks?
How many owners or managers have docked their employees‘ pay, or
over-calculated and dwelt over every single hour (or part-hour) his
employees have worked? Didn‘t Jesus state that every man gets paid
the same for a day‘s work?47 Didn‘t Jehovah say that no one should
hold back a man‘s pay from him overnight?48
45
Luke 18:18–27
46
In 2005, corporations donated a total of $217 Billion, whereas churches donated or
provided less than $3 Billion; there are 450,000 churches in the United States. In
2009, $229 Billion was given by individuals to charities; half of the donations went to
churches. So, if $114.5 Billion was donated to churches, and churches only donated
$3 Billion to feed the poor, etc., then where did the $111.5 Billion remainder go?
(Stats given are courtesy of IRS.)
47
Matthew 20:8–16
48
Deuteronomy 24:15, Leviticus 19:13, Exodus 22:13, Proverbs 3:28, Jeremiah 22:13
39
―But those were different times. Today we have computers,

accountants, and bank accounts…it‘s just not practical to meet
payroll that way.‖
Then either get out of the business world, or stop calling
yourself Christian!
God said, ―For I am the Lord, I change not…‖ 49
Stan Jakowski, the owner of a fast food restaurant in Danville,

Illinois, has been very successful in business endeavors. As a result
of his family‘s business, he has a stock portfolio so extensive that he
installed three televisions inside the property‘s small office. The
broadband linefeeds he had installed gives him constant stock
market updates. He‘s told me on several occasions that he gets off on
watching the ticker reflect his investment growth throughout the day.
He and his family are members of the Danville Country Club;
annual dues cost him no less than $40,000 a year in membership,
maintenance, recreation, and event fees. He also belongs to the
Danville Boat Club, and several other exclusive clubs for successful
business owners. He lives in a mansion-style house, complete with
hot tub/Jacuzzi, two full-service wet bars, and all of the electronics,
plush furniture, and elitist comforts that fast-food money can buy.
He always wears designer suits that are so expensive he refused to
tell me the cost of each. He takes his wife and kids out to eat at
exclusive restaurants seven nights a week. He is also a former
Pentecostal preacher and self-published Christian author.
His employees earn only minimum wage, and are never al-
lowed to work overtime. One of his cashiers is a young lady with
rotting teeth. Almost all of his employees have severe health issues
but no medical insurance. Even though health insurance for em-
ployees is a pretax deduction, and despite the high return on his
investment, Stan does not offer health insurance for his employees,
though he and his nonemployee family receives health insurance
from the business. His business also pays him a hefty salary. In
addition to earning only minimum wage and not receiving health
insurance, his employees are required to pay for the food they eat
while on break.50
Stan Jakowski laughs that his business more than triples dur-
ing the first three days of each month, due solely to his targeted
49
Malachi 3:6; the Hebrew word for change is shānâ (Strong‘s 8138).
50
Deuteronomy 25:4, I Corinthians 9:9, and I Timothy 5:18
40
clientele—the poor when they receive their child support, disability,

or welfare checks.
Let me emphasize that the non-dramatic point here is that
Stan is no different than most of America‘s businessmen. He comes
from a privileged background—taking over the business that his
father once founded. He has maintained the business‘ fiscal structure
and expanded it past any that his father had ever anticipated. He
feels that the time spent developing the business, and its success,
warrants his lifestyle and the perks that come with it.
The uncommon point of interest is that he is a devoted, born-
again Christian. In addition, he was once a Pentecostal preacher and
a small press publisher of his own Christian literature. On more than
one occasion I‘ve seen him sit at the bar with his wife and cry over
the love he has for Jesus. However, his lifestyle shows no love for his
employees; or for Jesus.
He is very similar however, to the rich man who asked Jesus
how to inherit eternal life. When told to sell off all of his property and
wealth, and to distribute it to the poor, the man refused and walked
away. Jesus said that it was easier for a camel to walk through the
eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God. 51
Commonly, Christians will use Christianity as a business
brand, i.e., a networking tool for business growth. Ever notice the
little Jesus-fish on billboards, newspaper ads, or the yellow pages?
Rest assured that they are not praising God by displaying it; they are
soliciting business from their brothers and sisters within the church.
They are hypocrites, liars, and thieves, one and all. Why God hasn‘t
struck them down, I cannot tell.
* * *
Most, if not all, born-again Christians will balk at the notion

that this nation is controlled (owned) by corporations and that its
direction does not reflect that of Christendom. Herein lies just one
more proof—one more fact—to ponder.
Smoking bans have become commonplace in today‘s society.
Any state that has not yet had them implemented needn‘t fret—they
are on their way to your state too! In December of 2007, the State of
Illinois ran public service announcements to inform its citizens that
after New Year‘s Eve, all smoking in public places and private busi-
nesses would be illegal. Restaurants, bars, and casinos were not
exempt.
51
Luke 18:18–30
41
The ad campaign stated boldly that ―…your government cares

about your health.‖
Bullshit!
It is apparent that the insurance lobbyists had deeper pockets
than the state‘s restaurant associations. The insurance companies
used the face of the American Lung Association to push their agenda
forward in the public‘s eyes. The hands that orchestrated the move
were the elected legislators of the state.
Several times a year during big-traffic holidays, local, state
and national public service announcements cover the airwaves telling
us of the consequences for not ―buckling up for safety.‖ One in the
Chicago-land area ran that showed a state trooper.
As he wrote a ticket, he told the driver, ―I have to write this
ticket because I care about your safety.‖
Bullshit!
He has to write that ticket because insurance company lob-
byists influenced the legislation that required tickets for non-seatbelt
usage. This is a fact; an undisputed fact. 52 Also, drunken driving
laws and stiffer DUI sentences did not come solely at the behest of
MADD.53 Not in the least. The insurance companies, once again,
backed MADD and allowed them to be the face of their corporate,
money-saving, less-payout-for-claims concerns. No, I‘m not an
advocate of driving drunk. However, the truth should be told. Insur-
ance companies have a major hold on this country. Corporations run
this country!
After Hurricane Katrina raped the Gulf Coast, home and
business owners were flatly denied payouts for the coverage of which
they‘d paid for years. Even Senator Trent Lott, (R. MS) was denied
coverage payouts. He took hold immediately of the senate floor when
his insurance claims were denied.
He pounded his fist onto the lectern and screamed, “There will
be hell to pay this day!”
No hell ever came, to date.
However, the businesses that collected immediately on their
policies were—you guessed it—casinos! The insurance companies
calculated that the business interruption provisions in each casino‘s
policy meant that they were required to dole out nearly eleven million
dollars a day. Rather than fight their claims for loss of property, etc,
and pay the daily business interruption clauses, it was deemed to be
more prudent and cheaper to just pay to have the casinos rebuilt—
52
As told to me (ca. 1991) by Judge Richard Rooker, Rutherford County, TN.
53
Mothers Against Drunk Drivers
42
and rebuilt quickly! Meanwhile, the casinos‘ bartenders, cocktail

waitresses, card dealers, etc, remained without houses and apart-
ments, i.e., their insurance claims were summarily denied, even
though the same damage had occurred by the same storm!
It would do the reader well, should she ever realize that no
one—and I mean, no one—cares about her! Not the government or its
elected officials; not the local shop owner; not your pastor or congre-
gation; not the neighbor with a smile. No one! Someone (or some
agency or governmental body) always wants something from you.
Allegiance, money, time, devotion, sex…it matters not, which. The
churches have failed us and the government is criminally inept.
Corporate criminals rule this country. There is nobody to call to, nor
nobody who will listen. There is certainly nobody who cares.
The Watchmaker Analogy is a rhetorical device used to dem-
onstrate that if the interior workings of a watch are examined, the
observer must conclude that someone, i.e., a watchmaker, made the
watch. Hence, if one observes a human being, then a creator with
intelligence must have created him. The aftermath, however, is a very
good comparison for our relationship with God. Let‘s suppose for a
moment that the one to whom I refer to as God is not the supposed
bloodthirsty, megalomaniacal Jehovah. It is not the sweet, loving
goddess of paganism, and it is not Jesus on a cross. Let‘s assume
that God is actually a creative force outside the universe that created
everything.
Thus, according to the Watchmaker theory, God is like a
watchmaker: once the watch is created, it is out of his hands; he
cares not what happens to it. That, parenthetically, is the story-
behind-the-story of the literary work Frankenstein—creating the
humanoid-monster was the mad doctor‘s only concern; what to do
with him or his quality of life, once created, were of no concern.
That sentiment is much like that of human beings; and espe-
cially Christians. As long as that bad element stays in their own
neighborhoods or in jails, they do not care; unless we can eliminate
their public assistance benefits and subsidized housing. We do not
take the time or make the effort to educate them, hire them at our
businesses, build halfway houses to assist them; to give them a
chance at a better life, and us at a better society. No; instead, we hire
the churchgoer‘s ne‘er-do-well cousin to give him yet another third or
fourth chance; we offer scholarships to parochial schools for good
Christian kids, and buy dilapidated properties for condo conversion
that‘ll be flipped for a profit. Jesus would be appalled.
* * *
43
Christmas time and birthdays are self-involved, ego-building

celebrations of the flesh that must be especially troublesome for the
Prince of Peace. Born-again Christians are well known to throw lavish
parties and over-indulge their already-spoiled children. Has anyone—
any Christian—ever paused for a moment to reflect on the hypocrisy
of it all? Has any Christian mother ever told her son‘s guests that
they should purchase gift certificates at grocery or toy stores, instead
of buying little Bobby more toys and gifts (gifts that he doesn‘t need
or deserve, anyway) and to give them to the poor?
―Hello, Mrs. Brown. I‘m calling all of the parents who are
bringing their kids to Bobby‘s birthday party next week. Instead of
buying him a gift, would you mind buying a gift card at a toy store or
a grocery store, instead? I intend for him to give them to the poor.
After all, Bobby has more toys than he‘ll ever play with; and I want to
teach him about charity.‖
Give toys and money to the poor, not the privileged. Imagine
the heaven on earth we‘d have if Christians actually began to act as
Christ.
Of course, Christians and Jews should not celebrate birth-
days, at all. The reason being, there are only two instances of birth-
days listed within the bible. The first occurrence was when the
Pharaoh of Egypt hanged his chief baker to death—allowing birds to
feed off his flesh.54 The second occurrence was the night that King
Herod‘s stepdaughter gave him a lap dance that was so pleasing that
he agreed to have John the Baptist‘s head brought to her on a
platter.55
Speaking of charity once again, I have to admit that I too have
fallen short. Several times in my life I‘ve donated clothes and house-
hold goods to a local church. While clearing out my closet, I‘ve taken
clothes that I no longer wore and placed them in a box. I left them on
the steps of a church near my apartment in New Orleans. They were
cleaned and had no holes or rips. They were not out of fashion; I just
hadn‘t worn them in a while and I‘d needed more closet space for
some newer clothes I‘d bought over the past month or so. The mem-
bership of the church consisted of a lower income black congregation,
and many of the people I saw enter on Sunday mornings looked as if
they‘d appreciate the clothes and other items I‘d donated. But I must
admit, much to my chagrin, it was not charity.
54
Genesis 40:16–23
55
Mark 6:17–28
44
As our example, King David refused to give to God that which

cost him nothing.56 If it had been charity, I would have brought the
new clothes I‘d bought over to the church! That‘s right; I was a
hypocrite for having believed that I had contributed to charity. The
only charitable act was that fact that I‘d washed and dried the clothes
and placed them on hangers neatly in the box. Resultantly, I‘d merely
aided myself in the task and no one else. I needed more room for the
newer and nicer things I desired. If I had not given them anonymous-
ly to the neighboring church, I‘d just as easily have thrown them into
the trash. I was wrong. I should have, as stated previously, either
given the new clothes to them, or bought gift cards from the store
where I purchased the clothes; only then would it have been charity.
I am not advocating that I am not entitled to new clothes or a
new toaster. Not in the least. I am merely pointing out that very little
effort, and no sacrifice, went into the donation. Many charities would
love to have their donations of used clothing to increase. Many
support themselves in just such a fashion. We should bring our used
clothing (clean, and in good condition) to organizations that need
them. But, we must not delude ourselves into thinking we‘ve done
something noble. We‘ve only assisted someone else, while simulta-
neously benefiting ourselves. Okay, using that definition, maybe it
was charity. Even so, it was definitely not the level of charity that I
initially believed.
What would happen if Christians actually performed the char-
ity that they‘re commissioned? What if they directly and individually
took the tithes and offerings that they normally earmark for their
churches, and went out into the streets and fed the poor, clothed
poor children, and sheltered the homeless instead of filling the local
offering plate? Christians readily admit there is no temple—citing ―the
Temple of God is within.‖57 That being the case, there is no legitimate
place, i.e. ecclesiastical structure or organization, to send tithes. It
must be realized that television ministries and church houses do not
meet the biblical requirement as places for paying tithes! It should be
remembered that in ancient Israel, the tithe that went to the Temple
was to support civic needs; and to feed, clothe, and house the poor,
and to financially support the Levite priesthood. Today, we have taxes
that go straight to the government for support of civil projects and
support. Today, there is no legitimate priesthood of God to support.
Today, the poor, the widow, and the orphan are still among us. If, on
56
2 Sam 24:24
57
1 Corinthians 3:16, 1 Corinthians 6:19, and 2 Corinthian 6:16
45
the off-chance, that a Christian should have a preacher who actually

preaches God‘s word correctly and fulfills the needs of the poor, then
offerings would surely be a godsend—and legitimate. However, such
preachers and churches are very few and very far between. I know of
none.
What if Christians bought apartments for the poor, or paid
power bills, or sent unemployed persons to back to school? America
would be a much better place to live. The word Christian would retain
validity for the first time since its usage. Remember, Jesus did not tell
the rich man to give his money to the Temple. He did not tell the rich
man to give to his ministry or the ministry of John the Baptist; he
instructed the rich man to give directly to the poor.
Church leaders and governing boards would demand summa-
rily that this type of altruistic behavior cease; because, without a
doubt, their treasuries would dry up. Their salaried ministers would
have to get secular jobs. (Remember, Jesus‘ disciples still retained
their secular jobs! They still fished, collected taxes, etc.) Salaried
ministers would certainly lose their power and influence over the
masses.
In rebuttal to this challenge, they are sure to invoke Paul by
saying, ―Give to where you receive instruction.‖ Actually, if one is a
Christian, the only credible instruction is from the written words of
Jehovah and the written examples of Jesus. If what God commanded
was performed, Paradise would surely bloom in the 21st century!58
* * *
My late wife, Barbara once told me a story about The Olive

Garden Italian Restaurant that was near her house on the West Bank
of New Orleans. She said that the restaurant was usually on a wait
regardless of the time of day. She‘d dined there frequently with her
minor daughter because Italian food and bread sticks were available
for Nicole, and she could have a glass of wine and their famous salad.
The two of them dined there one particular day for lunch; they
had such a good time that they returned the next day. It was closed.
The doors and windows were boarded and all signage was removed.
Waiters stood in the parking lot—each in uniform—and asked one
another, ―What happened?‖ No explanation was ever given.
In Danville, Illinois, a newspaper report told of the impromptu
closure of a Bob Evans Restaurant. It too was part of a chain-
franchise corporation. Again, no explanation was given and the
58
See chapter titled Jesus Christ: Founder of Communism
46
newspaper article reported that the staff had no idea that it was going
to close. All of the staff had shown up for work, as scheduled.
In Chicago, Barbara and I were talking restaurant shit with a
bartender; a manager happened to overhear our conversation. He
stated that he too had been a management employee of a restaurant
that had closed overnight, and without prior warning to its staff. He
defended a company‘s decision to close properties in that manner. He
attempted to reason that if the public knew a restaurant was going to
close, sales would decline immediately because customers would find
other restaurants to replace the one closing. He also stated that
employees would begin to look for other work, thus, the service of the
restaurant would be diminished while it remained open.
Barbara and I looked at one another in disbelief that equaled
our contempt.
I asked, ―What about the loss of earnings for the staff? How
are they supposed to live?‖
―Oh,‖ came his corporate reply, ―they‘re given an opportunity
to work at another restaurant concept if they‘re any openings.‖
―And, if not?‖
―They‘ll make out alright. You know firsthand how much
money waiters and bartenders make.‖
I was pissed. ―No, corporate thinks we make a lot of money,
but remember, we only earn two dollars an hour. We live on tips on a
shift-by-shift basis.‖
The manager looked at me and dismissed me with his tone.
―That‘s the way corporate does it; it‘s good for the company. It‘s the
right thing to do for the company…‖
We paid our tab and left.
The gall-boiling truth of the matter is that when a chain-
franchise closes a property in that manner, they attempt to hide the
reason for doing so. They always state a decrease in sales as the
reason. It is always a lie. Years later we discovered that in the case of
The Olive Garden that a neighboring enclosed mall had decided to go
out of business at the end of the next three years. When the district
manager became aware of the mall‘s decision, he informed corporate
headquarters. The decision came down immediately to close the
property.
It did not matter that there would be three more years of
booming revenue. It did not matter that strip malls had popped up on
both sides of the busy, commercial street. It did not matter that
suburban families would‘ve kept it in business and prosperous. It did
not matter that employees had children‘s mouths to feed. All that
mattered was the fact that a corporate dictum stated somewhere that
―each property shall be adjacent to an enclosed mall.‖ Revenue and
people‘s lives be damned! If the corporate policy states it, that‘s all
47
that matters! I‘d always thought that a corporation‘s purpose was to

make money. I guess I‘m a fool.
In the cases of the two Bob Evans restaurants that closed
overnight, research determined that the reason for both closures was
that the tax incentives for each business had expired. That‘s right.
Money continued to come in hand over fist at both properties. Em-
ployees depended on the earnings generated by the restaurants. But,
as most people do not know, large restaurant corporations are given
huge tax incentives and moratoriums (and sometimes outright tax
abatements) by city councils and industrial development bureaus
just to open a property in their locale. The percentages and time
allowed for incentives differ, of course, but are nevertheless present.
Most companies will perform an impromptu closedown when such
tax incentive periods have expired; regardless of the revenue generat-
ed, and potential future revenue that might be generated. That‘s their
corporate policy; human lives do not matter.
Between the mindless, heartless corporations and a faceless,
soulless government…what is a person to do?
The above examples of restaurant corporations remind me of
a particular church in New Orleans. The First Baptist Church of New
Orleans was located at the corners of Napoleon Avenue and St.
Charles Avenue for 50 years, though it was located at various proper-
ties Uptown (on or near St. Charles Avenue for 169 years). It was a
very large property that had too many Sunday school rooms; most
were left vacant or cluttered with storage. The congregation was
primarily upper-middle class to upper-class Caucasians. The Uptown
church offered several services throughout the week and any number
of programs could be attended at whim. It held a fellowship hall with
a cafeteria-style, commercial kitchen that could rival any restaurant.
The pastor and the new building committee decided that it was
time to leave the old building, rebuild, and start anew. (This was prior
to hurricanes Katrina and Rita.) They reasoned that First Baptist
Church should be the best. It should be updated to reflect the upper-
income membership and move to a prominent location.59 What it did
in reality, was further isolate itself from the riffraff of minority, mixed
or, up and coming neighborhoods.60
59
Mid-City and Lakeview neighborhoods.
60
During the summer of 2011, I contacted the church anonymously and asked how
one could get there via bus or streetcar. No one could tell me. Even though I was told
that several bus lines and a streetcar line were nearby, they could not assist in my
query. This implies that there are no lower-income congregants in attendance.
Further, it implies that lower-income congregants are not a focus for attendance, else,
48
In late-summer 2000, the church‘s senior pastor, Dr. David

Crosby, asked his congregation on a particular Sunday morning
(without prior notice) to give in addition to their regular tithes and
donations for the new building fund. That was at 10:45AM. By noon
that same day, the new building committee had an extra $80,000 in
its budget to negotiate the purchase of the new property. 61
I will remind the reader that the original building had no
problems with structure and needed no excessive repairs. There was
more than enough room for their ministries; many rooms were vacant
and most of those held rubbish. Parking was so plentiful that the
restaurant next door was allowed use of it for its employees, and as
an overflow parking lot. Also, the church sat at a major intersection
that married together major bus lines and tourist-riding streetcars.
Nevertheless, to continue to make the church available to the com-
munity surrounding it was unimaginable. A nicer facility in a more
affluent neighborhood for its good Christian members was all that was
important.62
Though the congregation dined in the fellowship hall every
Wednesday night, never once did a meal make it into the hands of
someone who was homeless or having a hard time financially. The
church owned no cots; nor did it store and refurbish used, donated
clothes in the extra, empty rooms. Without a doubt, it was not a
church; it was a country club for God‘s elite.
“When you give a dinner or a supper, do not ask your

friends, your brothers, your relatives, nor rich neigh-
bors, lest they also invite you back, and you be repaid.
someone, at some time, would have sought the information (for public transportation)
for which I‘d asked. Hypocrites! I was told, however, about a shuttle that‘s offered on
Sundays for college students at the prestigious, private college Tulane University.
Incidentally, another Uptown church, St. Charles Avenue Baptist Church, prominently
displays a sign on its front lawn to inform the same Tulane students of the service
hours. A similar sign is not offered for the poor black kids in the Black Pearl neighbor-
hood that is of equal distance away from the Tulane campus! Hypocrisy!
61
This is not rumor or innuendo. I was seated in the pews when the announcement
was made, and the total was given.
62
An e-mail in its entirety that Senior Pastor David Crosby sent to me (July 28, 2009):
―Hello, Keith. We moved to achieve three things at our new location: accessibility to
the entire community, visibility to the entire community, and parking space. I am not
sure if this is mentioned in the history page on the web.‖
49
But when you give a feast, invite the poor, the maimed,
the lame, and the blind. And you will be blessed, be-
cause they cannot repay you; for you shall be repaid at
the resurrection of the just.” 63
When will they learn? They do nothing that Jesus demanded

but they wear his name like a badge. Baptists care nothing about
dying, hurting people. They will always—always—counter that they
contribute to or support other Baptist organizations that offer help.
The help offered is limited, and is token, at best. What if that same
congregation had donated $80,000 to abused children? What if
unwed, teenage mothers had a safe, crack-free environment to rear
their babies? What if Christians (especially Baptists) read their bibles
and actually followed the actions of Jesus?
Yes, what if?
63
Luke 14:12-14 NKJV
50
A Father and His Kids
―Blessed indeed is the man who hears many

gentle voices call him ‗Father!‘‖
~ Lydia Maria Child
There is a man who has many children. He has so many

children, in fact, that he owns a large parcel of property because he
needs the sustenance to house and provide for them. He has some
successful children, ones he calls his ―Good Kids,‖ though, they are
very mean to their brothers and sisters who are not quite as success-
ful. The father calls the unsuccessful ones his ―Bad Kids.‖ Though
they are not actually bad per se—they are not mean or cruel, vicious
or disrespectful—though they are perceived as such, because they
are undesirable by the family‘s strict standards. Some of the Bad Kids
are sickly, some are unattractive, and most all are poor. Even though
the Good Kids are business owners or hold upper-management
positions, they rarely hire their unfortunate brothers and sisters—the
Bad Kids.
When they go to their father‘s house to visit him (sometimes
three times a week) they make damn well sure that the undesirable
ones—the Bad Kids—are not included in their family reunions. And
when one or two show up uninvited, they are quick to be shunned by
the always-welcomed Good Kids. Sadly, the Good Kids refuse to
assist the Bad Kids in bettering themselves—even in front of their
father.
Father is another story. He revels in his Good Kids‘ successes;
he promises them even more to come. He always gives his Good Kids
the very best Christmas and birthday presents. Many times the
father will give presents just to show he loves them. The father never
gives gifts to his Bad Kids, though—not even on holidays or special
days. He frequently shuns his ne‘er-do-well offspring; they are an
ever-present embarrassment to him. He also refuses continually to
allow his Bad Kids to work in the family business. They cry out to
him in pain, but he will not take them to the doctor. They cry out
hungry, but he never forces his Good Kids to share their food. There
are no hand-me-downs in this lot! He reserves the good life for his
Good Kids, solely.
When, on occasion, some of the Bad Kids are tired of being in
continual pain, they might go to a legal aid office and seek to be
disowned, and seek to be adopted by another, more present and
providing father. That makes the father really angry! He then spanks
his feral, Bad Kids and hurts them even more. All the while he keeps
telling them that he loves them and that they are worthless for having
doubts about him and for seeking another father. These Bad Kids will
do anything possible to show their father that they are worthy of his
love and protection, but the father doesn‘t seem to care. He seemingly
just wants even more children, yet he prides himself in his Good Kids
only. The father will not allow his feral Bad Kids to simply depart
from his company and be done with it. No, it seems he wants them to
fail. He wants them to be abused by his Good Kids. He doesn‘t want
his supposed Bad Kids, but h doesn‘t want any other father to have
them either.
He allows his bright and shining Good Kids to bully up on the
weaker ones, and takes pleasure in it, as if it were a sporting event.
Family reunions are rarely attended by the Bad Kids after much of
this treatment. But the father likes it that way. As long as the Bad
Kids continue to send their money to buy stock in the family busi-
ness, he doesn‘t care how they are treated. However, the dividends
are only issued to the Good Kids, because they are the ones the
father has chosen to represent him and the family business. The Bad
Kids can never sell their stock. That goes directly for even larger
salaries, and into buying new carpet and furniture for the family
home, where father welcomes his favorites—the Good Kids.
If the above story was literal, how unjust would Father and his
Good Kids be, and how pitiful his Bad Kids? Is God not the Father? Is
the Church not the family business? Then, is this not figurative retel-
ling of literal events?
* * *
I watch continually as Christian families conceive and give

birth to child after child. Christian homes grow year after year with
biological blessings that their god has bestowed upon them. But I
wonder how the father of heaven rates those who continue to have
children of their own when there are so many children nearby who
are abused, neglected, and abandoned. Further, I‘ve often wondered
about the salvation of those who spend hundreds of thousands of
dollars at fertility clinics for artificial insemination. Lastly, one cannot
help but wonder how God feels about eugenics—though, we no longer
use that term because Nazism tarnished it. Now we use words similar
to prescribed selection when we spend hundreds of thousands of
dollars for mystery sperm that must be of a certain, more desirable
hair or eye color, from parentage of a certain vocation, etc.
Aren‘t we, ―Blessed to be a blessing?‖
52
A blessing to whom? On television we see reports of celebrities

who travel across the globe to adopt children and rescue them from
imminent poverty and certain death. Christians laugh at their efforts.
―Angelina Jolie has done it again! What‘s up with her?‖
―Madonna‘s crazy!‖
―Mia Farrow has lost her mind!‖
We flip through the channels and give their efforts no other
thought. The only point I‘d rectify of these examples would be that
there are plenty of American-born children—many times right next
door—who need to be rescued, as well.
Christians will gladly send money to renegade ministries that
fight tooth and nail to overturn Roe vs. Wade. Local abortion mills
and Planned Parenthood clinics are bombarded with bible-thumping
placards. Christians will miss a day‘s pay when the television cam-
eras are sure to roll. They scream at expectant women who enter the
clinics; they promise that someone might want to adopt their un-
wanted child. But where are these good Christians who are doing
God’s work when one of the women decides to opt for the adoption
route? They‘re absent, of course.
―Other people will be willing to adopt those kids. Those crack
babies.‖
Two points here: First, Jesus ate with the lepers. He healed
the sick and cast out demons. How much more revolting were those
people, as opposed to the would-be mothers who opt for an abortion?
For the sake of argument let‘s assume that abortion is a sin (we all
know that it is). Isn‘t it more of a sin for one to be a Christian,
demand that a pregnant mother give up her child for adoption, then
refuse to adopt the child?
―But I have enough children…‖
Jesus said, ―Take heed that ye despise not one of these little
ones…‖64
Secondly, Jesus never once picketed the never-ending fires
where people threw their newborns as an offering to Baal, Moloch,
and other pagan gods. Ironically, Jesus never once held up a sign to
demonstrate or protest. He never once entered his opinion into the
political events of the day. One must remember that Jesus walked
throughout the Holy Land of Israel—not the pseudo-Holy Land of
America. How much more befitting would it have been to demonstrate
and protest the goings-on of his civil government? Much more than
for us today! The only time he called for change and protested physi-
cally was against the religious authorities! He threw over the tables of
the money changers at the Temple!
64
Matthew 19:14
53
He called out to the chief priests and rabbis, ―…You‘re whited

sepulchers; bright and shiny on the outside, but inside you‘re full of
dead men‘s bones!‖65
Modern-day translation: ―You‘re nothing more than coffins!
You‘re clean and polished on the outside; on the inside you‘re noth-
ing but rotting flesh!‖
He continued, ―Ye serpents, ye generation of vipers, how can
ye escape the damnation of hell?‖66
The Beatitudes, as they‘re called, were not merely to comfort
those in attendance; his words were a slap in the face of the religious
leaders of the day. The greatest sermon ever preached was not solely
for those in attendance who were continually denied a rightful
audience with the temple priests. Not in the least. His sermon on the
mount, along with his daily teachings, was a continued slap in the
faces of the religious-elite.
―Do not pray as the Pharisees…do not fast as the Phari-
sees…be more lawful than the scribes and Pharisees…‖
His entire ministry consisted of being with the wrong crowd
and shunning/rebuking the established, righteous-elite of his time.
By contrast, the modern-day church doesn‘t approve of Jesus‘
actions; or his ministry. Instead, Christians take political stands,
place the Jesus-fish on their SUVs, and overdress for church. They
study the feel-good words that make them feel superior to the sinners
in their midst when dining after church on Sunday.67
Christians stand in lines that stretch around the block two
days in advance to pay hundreds of dollars for the next-newest cell
phone gadget. All the while, soup lines at the Salvation Army don‘t
have enough volunteers and lack enough donations to adequately
feed the poor.
Born-again Christians brag about their children‘s‘ honor roll
status and throw lavish parties for meager accomplishments. How
could their children not have academic accomplishments? Look at
their homes. Look at their peer group. All the while, three miles over,
children are going to bed hungry, dodging drive-by shootings, and
learning how to sell crack to your good kids so their mothers can pay
the power bill.
65
Matthew 23:27
66
Matthew 23:33
67
Luke 18:9–14
54
―If you only knew how much money I give to my church every
year!‖
Your donations for new carpeting in the church library? Your
money and time for the youth group‘s pizza parties? Your money for
dedication plaques to the ―whited sepulchers‖ of your church‘s past?
No, you hypocrites; ―…to the widow, the orphan, the poor, the
poured out in spirit…‖ That’s who Jesus came for! He left his church
in charge during his absence. Has it done his work? When it comes to
your church donations and tithes, remember, God said ―obedience is
better than sacrifice.‖68 Where‘s your obedience? Where‘s your real
sacrifice?
During 2008 and 2009 in New Orleans, Archbishop Alfred
Hughes reduced the number of parishes in the Archdiocese of New
Orleans from 142 to 108 in a massive reorganization due to the
aftermath of Hurricane Katrina.69 The archbishop had decided that
five parishes were to be closed due to a loss of congregants after
Hurricane Katrina, a loss of priests to maintain services necessary,
and an overall loss of monetary assets due to child sexual abuse
payoffs. Statewide changes were to include 33 parishes to close, 21
mergers, and six parishes to become missions or ministries. 70 To
further defend the changes and closings, the archdiocese claimed
that the properties that were not to be sold would be turned into
service properties that would be retrofitted to house the growing
number of homeless and poor in the post-Katrina communities of
New Orleans.
At first blush, one might think that such an endeavor would
be well received by practicing Catholics and Christians. After all, New
Orleans was thrown upside down and shaken a time or two with, and
since, Katrina. Naturally, one would be wrong! A keep my church open
campaign started and spread like wildfire. Parishioners broke into
church buildings that had been closed in the affluent Uptown neigh-
borhoods. For 72 days straight, groups of people took shifts perform-
ing candle and prayer vigils outside the various properties. After their
supercilious pleas had influenced neither the archdiocese nor the
Vatican, they established an illegal sit-in. The New Orleans Police
68
1 Samuel 15:22 and Proverbs 21:3
69
Article cited: St. Henry parishioner says deal might have ended vigil without police ;
January 07, 2009: Colley Charpentier reporting.
70
www.youtube.com/watch?v=xsZRigEhdUA
55
Department eventually removed the churchgoers forcibly and placed

them under arrest.71
If that much effort, energy, and time has been expended on
the new mission for those church properties, the kingdom of God
surely would have commenced in New Orleans. It was no surprise to
me or Barbara when their insipid attitudes and outright hypocrisy
splashed across newspapers and television screens statewide that
help for the poor would once again be delayed, if not outright abated.
But fret not—the Judeo-Christian-Islamic faiths‘ founding pa-
triarch, Abraham, (the father of ―obedience and faith‖) did not honor
what he was supposed to do, either. He offered to kill one of his sons.
He was a deadbeat dad to his first, and was willing to murder his
second. That‘s right. Abraham allowed his firstborn son to be neg-
lected, emotionally abused, estranged, and abandoned by him. He
paid no alimony to his servant and surrogate wife, Hagar, and no
child support to his son. That‘s right; Ishmael never received a dime
in support or any visitation from Abraham.72
The problems that we have in the present-day Middle East are
nothing more than a case of sibling rivalry between Ishmael and
Isaac, i.e., Islam and Judaism, and is the direct result of Abraham‘s
neglect. That‘s right. Planes flew into the twin towers on 9/11 be-
cause Abraham was a deadbeat dad!
Please consider the following:
―Get up, Keith! The world‘s coming to an end!‖

―Goddamn it, Barbara!‖
The digital alarm clock read a little past nine in the morning
and I quickly regretted another lost day of bitching and nagging by
her, and the restaurant work I had ahead of me.
She repeated herself. I noticed something peculiar, but inde-
scribable in her voice; there was something that wasn‘t the norm
when I heard her for the third time.
―The world‘s coming to an end!‖
I followed her into the living room and watched the replay of
the second airliner as it crashed into the World Trade Center. The
words ―Oh, my God,‖ formed in my mouth but failed to pass my lips.
71
I wish with all of my heart that readers could see the looks of pious contempt on the
faces of the parishioners in question. It was sickening. It still is.
72
Jehovah-God, however, intervened; he paid support and protected Ishmael and his
mother, Hagar.
56
NBC‘s Today Show replayed the footage of the impact of the

second plane that had been hijacked and the footage of the aftermath
of the first crash. Like the rest of America, Barbara had thought that
the first plane was an accidental happening. She chose not to wake
me when she saw the replay. When the second plane hit the second
tower, however, she bolted for our bedroom and for me.
The happenings of those two planes and the other two that
followed suit in Pennsylvania and Washington D.C. were tragic. 73 The
people that died; the loss of employment for many in New York City
and the nation; the fear; the panic; the airline attendants whose
throats were slashed and the pilots that were presumably shot in the
backs of their heads. Imagine the terror of the passengers as they
listened and watched—never knowing if they too were to die singly as
the crew, then realizing that death as a collective was imminent. It
was horrific. It is what religion contributes too routinely in our world;
horror for piety‘s sake.
I will make no negative commentary about the victims. There
is nothing negative to report. America-at-large however, is a different
story.
Matt Lauer sat centered between Katie Couric and Al Roker. Katie
was well-poised and held a modicum of reserve for the tragedy as it
unfolded. Even though I had a history of being her worst critic, Katie
made several astute observations that actually surprised me that
morning (and though she‘s not done so since). One was the fact that
the two planes were bound for California. Thus, the terrorists proba-
bly selected those particular flights for their engorged fuel supplies.
Also surprisingly, Al Roker broke from his usual on-air persona and
was respectful and demure with the moment-by-moment commen-
tary from his director‘s booth, info feed. I honestly didn‘t think Al had
it in him until that viewing. Maybe he‘d missed his calling for hard
journalism. Probably not.
Matt Lauer though, looked as if he was scared to death. While
Katie offered her keen suppositions and Al gave a somber, tasteful
presence, Matt‘s facial expressions were absent. By all rights, he does
not have a personality that would benefit anyone at a cocktail party.
Nor does he have, in my opinion, a firm grasp of the workings of a
seasoned, professional journalist in the field or behind a news desk.
Matt, however, was not new to the news profession. He had been in
the news media game since 1979—first as a producer, then as on-air
73
I have elected not to address any false flag allegations within this excerpted
booklet, but did address the possibilities in the full book Idolater.
57
talent. Because of his impressive résumé‘, he should‘ve reacted in a

better, more professional manner. Everyone in America could see it,
but no one noticed it because of the shock of it all. Not to sound
sophomoric, but he looked as if he‘d just seen his mother naked and
he rather enjoyed it, i.e., utterly bewildered. All the while, he ap-
peared confused and in over his head without a script or Telepromp-
ter to feed his lines to him. His eyes were vacant and his face was
blank. As I recall, he contributed almost nothing to the newscast as it
happened or the story as it unfolded.
Maybe my observations of Matt Lauer were too harsh that
fateful morning. Maybe he‘s one of the many news anchors, i.e.,
entertainment hosts that need a Teleprompter and an advanced
script. But most definitely, he demonstrated fully that he‘s an enter-
tainer and not an anchorman. Those facts were proven that day. I
must admit, however, I am neither. I am no journalist and I don‘t give
good interviews; but I wasn‘t on the NBC/GE payroll for nine years at
the time of the September 11th tragedy—Matt Lauer was.74
Gleefully, I found no disappointment with Ann Curry that
morning. She acted as I always felt—nay, knew—she would in the
face of a national disaster—she acted like an idiot. A coward and an
idiot. Amidst the harsh reality of the tragedy, she offered much-
needed comic relief as she squatted behind a street corner, garbage
can. She cowered—with her eyes closed—while facing her camera-
man. Holding the microphone in her right hand, she pressed her
earpiece firmly with her left. Behind her one of the towers and lesser-
known support buildings of the World Trade Center complex fell.
Debris and ash blanketed Ground Zero.
All of the competing television networks had field reporters
and news anchor people all over the scene. Though emergency
workers summarily prohibited them from entering farther into the
infamous Ground Zero area, they continued to make every attempt to
74 I have a copy of the transcript for Today from the morning of September 11, 2001.
It was provided to me by Ms. Chimene Williams. As per our conversations by
telephone and email, the references I make in this writing are not present within the
transcripts. The transcripts were from regularly scheduled the actual show, Today,
which aired from 6AM to 9AM EST. That which I have referenced herein happened
after the normal transcription timelines of the scheduled show. Due to the severity of
the nation‘s interest, the show remained on the air for a greatly extended and unusual
amount of time. There apparently are no transcripts for the entire broadcasting day for
NBC news or Today for September 11, 2001. Also I must add that Ms. Chimene
Williams did not know the context for which I would use the requested information.
She did not know that I was going to use the transcript to rebuke anyone at Today or
NBC.
58
get closer to the action. But not Ann Curry! No, she took refuge
behind a garbage can six blocks from the scene!
With her eyes closed, seated in a squat, and with her back to
the action, ―Katie! I don‘t know what‘s going on!‖
The fear—no, panic—in her voice was shadowed only by her
physical demeanor. She rested her weight onto her ankles instead of
her knees as she had earlier. Thus, making apparent attempts to get
even closer to the ground than she already was. Soot, concrete
debris, rubble, and shards of steel plummeted from over a hundred
stories above and six New York city blocks away.
She continued, ―They won‘t let us get any closer!‖
Bullshit, Ann! Bullshit! Your contemporaries and competitors
were there! You were not! You never were! You knew it. Katie knew it.
I knew it; and all of America knew it too!
But why did the terrorists hijack those planes and take so
many innocent lives that terrible day? That was a question that many
minds pondered as they watched and re-watched the video footage.
―Because America is good,‖ Senator John McCain smugly
yapped, ―....because we‘re good!‖
Every hometown news team across the nation sought out the
biggest, most affable preachers they could find. Each was offered
something that most preachers covet daily but rarely receive: unin-
terrupted airtime; just speak your mind. They faulted—each and
every one. None could give a satisfactory answer as to why those
planes were hijacked and flown into those buildings.
The most common questions were why does evil exist; why
did they fly those planes into those buildings; and why did God allow
this to happen? Politicians, clerics, and news anchors searched for
possible answers. The answers led only to more questions. They all
spoke gobbledygook. That is, all except Reverend Jim Brown of Grace
and Truth Ministries.75 He is the only one who spoke the truth about
that fateful event. Regrettably, he was never approached by the news
media to give an answer. Paraphrased below is how he explained it to
me and his congregation.
Imagine this scenario: You‘re sitting at home one afternoon

and there‘s a knock at your door. You open it and two sheriff‘s
deputies hand you a stack of papers.
―Ma‘am, this is a court order forcing you to be removed from
the premises. Get your purse; you‘ll all have to leave right now.‖
―What are you talking about, deputy? I inherited this house
from my parents, who inherited it from theirs. There‘s never been a
75
www.GraceAndTruth.net
59
mortgage on this house. My family has owned it outright for over a

hundred years.‖
The deputies will have none of your explanations. They grab
you by the hand.
―Ma‘am! Vacate the property right now or you‘re going to jail
right now!”
You take your family to a hotel. You telephone a lawyer, but
he tells you that you no longer own the property or the house you
grew up in. All of your possessions now belong to someone else.
Determined, you go to the courthouse the next day, but the clerk will
not accept your petition to be heard by a judge.
Why has this happened? Because, a land grant was issued to
another family over a couple of hundred years ago, but no one ever
enforced it. In all actuality, another family has come forward and laid
claim to the property that you thought you owned. You realize that
you have no course of action to stay your eviction; the other family
has already taken residence and now wears your clothes.
This is exactly what happened in the Middle East. Due to the
Balfour Declaration, a majority of the Palestinian people woke up one
morning in 1917 CE and were forcibly displaced from their homes
and their land. It then happened again in 1926 CE, and all was
finalized on May 14, 1948 when Israel was given sovereign status as
a nation for the first time in 2,600 years.
According to the book of Genesis, Jehovah-God gave the land
to Abraham, then to Isaac, and then to Jacob. Supposedly, God made
every effort to exclude Ishmael and Esau from the inheritance of the
Holy Land. The previous nine paragraphs explain somewhat the
hatred of Muslims against Jews. It does not, however, directly explain
the hatred of extremist Muslims toward the United States. On May
14, 1948 CE when Israel became a fully fledged nation again, a holy
war was issued against everyone responsible and anyone who be-
friended Israel. Fact: America sends $6 billion dollars a year—every
year, with escalating amounts since 1948—to Israel for defense
against Muslim border countries. That, in a nutshell, is why those
planes were flown into the World Trade Center that day.
* * *
Contrary to popular belief and ecclesiastical rhetoric, America

is not a Christian nation! Nor is it one based on biblical principles. As
each reader completes this e-booklet, he will assuredly see that the
United States of America is the antithesis of Christendom. Okay, real
Christendom!
Has anyone ever stopped to think about what the morning of
September 11th held for the people employed in the thousands of
60
offices at the World Trade Center? How many people were on their
way to work and walked smugly past the homeless street-people who
begged for money or food. How many stopped to give them a couple of
dollars? How many people rushed past their fellow subway travelers,
knocking into them without offering apologies? Who pressed their
way into subway seats while elderly patrons grappled the straps with
arthritic hands? Were any vagrants on the subway platforms that
day? I‘m sure their makeshift cardboard boxes for alms were full of
money and breakfast sandwiches on the morning of September 11,
2001. Yeah right!
And just how many people where heading up to their financial
offices to foreclose on some little old lady‘s house? Was there any
fudging of the numbers in the accounting firms‘ ledgers that day?
How many office managers were flirting with their subordinate co-
workers on the morning of the 11th? Did any of the married office
workers have affairs with the lady over in the next cubicle?
―....because America is good”, Senator John McCain smugly
yapped, ―....because we’re good...‖
Does the reader feel that I am too terse in my suppositions?
Okay, so the reader feels that I‘m being an ass. I can live with that
assertion. I live with it every day. But please, will someone explain to
me the behavior of a particular Manhattan couple on the morning of
September 11th. I feel they are typical of the norm. Their names I do
not recall. The search for their names was the reason that I first
contacted the producers of Today and was subsequently introduced
to Ms. Chimene Williams. I report as follows:
Within minutes of the second plane hitting the second tower, a
young Manhattan couple took their videotaped recording of the
event—tragedy—and had it copyrighted. Yes, Katie Couric repeated
the same, scripted spiel every single time that Today aired the video.
―I will remind the viewers that the videotape we are about to
view has been copyrighted by….‖
As stated above, she reminded everyone who watched the tra-
gedy unfold that a young Manhattan couple‘s first, best response to
the deplorable carnage was to copyright it and make money off it by
selling it to a network! The rest of Manhattan sought safety first, then
helped others second. But not the young, urbanite couple. No! They
saw dollar signs where the rest of New York saw tragedy. They sought
financial gain and prestige where others performed heroic, compas-
sionate acts. Please tell me where their altruism was that day. I
would give almost anything if I could remember their names, or if
NBC would recover them for me.
* * *
61
Yes, the deadbeat dad syndrome that plagues America is no

different than that which Abraham failed to do with Ishmael. Yes, the
deadbeat dad syndrome of yesteryear caused the carnage we refer to
as nine-one-one.
62
The Titan of Evangelists
―Christians do not need to find salvation from sin. They need to find
salvation from priestly deceivers who have everything to lose.‖
~ Michael Tsarion
On Sunday, January 08, 2000, at Adelphia Coliseum in

Nashville, Tennessee, nearing the final sixteen seconds of the post-
season playoff game between the Buffalo Bills and Tennessee Titans,
the Titans were behind by three points. Most of the hometown crowd
had left the open stadium, and the sportscasters had already put the
visiting team into the next round toward the Super Bowl. It was at
that point in the game that the special teams unit pulled a snazzy
last-ditch effort (a play initially used at SMU in the 1980s) that had
been practiced repeatedly. However, one of the players who had
practiced the play was benched with a concussion. But it was a
matter of principal; they were going to lose the playoff game anyway,
so what the hell.
Let’s go for it!
They did. The hopes of successfully implementing the play
were almost thwarted again, when a substitute player was unable to
reach his mark and a player that had never seen the play received
the football. The trick play was successful, and is still known as one
of the two all-time greatest plays in professional football. It is only
surpassed by the ―Immaculate Reception‖ twenty-eight years prior in
1972, according to armchair analysts, fans, and sportscasters. The
trick play was coined ―The Music City Miracle‖ by Tennessee Titans
Radio Network sportscaster Mike Keith, though he never used those
exact words. Nevertheless, play allowed the Tennessee Titans—and
all of Nashville—to go to the Super Bowl that season.
On the first day of June of that same year, Adelphia Coliseum
would house a four-day event that was dubiously dubbed ―Another
Music City Miracle‖. That‘s right—Billy Graham was coming to town.
Nearly six hundred Middle Tennessee churches

representing forty-eight Christian denominations
joined the planning committee for his most recent
―Crusade.‖ Formal members of the represented
churches participated in the choir, as counselors and
on ―follow-up teams‖ for conducting post-conversion
interviews and leading small, group Bible studies. Ap-
proximately 227,000 people attended the four-day
event, and 9,429 people responded to the ‗invitation to

commit‘ or redirect their lives to Jesus Christ.76
The above statistics do not tell the whole truth; stats, as

they‘re called, never do. It has been quipped that there are liars,
damned liars, and statisticians.77 What the stats above do not reflect
is that there are never any real first-time converts at Billy Graham
Crusades. And after all, isn‘t the term crusade rather alarming? Or
rather, it should be. Remember, what the Inquisition did at home, the
Crusades did abroad. That alone gives us much to think about, if
Christians ever had an original thought. Nevertheless, first time
conversions rarely, if ever, occur at such events. The reason being,
such events are targeted toward Christians, i.e., those who are
already believers. The numbers are inflated not to show conversion
success, but because herd-mentality Christians want the prestige of
saying that they were saved at a Billy Graham event.
As a point of fact, what person in his right mind could ever—
ever—have not heard the good news of Jesus Christ, but then hear
about Jesus for the first time from (of all people) Billy Graham, and
then have a conversion experience? Graham is a mush-mouth,
circular talking, Christian-esque speaking dolt who speaks for two
hours and says absolutely nothing profitable toward self-examination
or adherence to God‘s Law.
How could that influence anyone spiritually?
What most born-again Christians do not understand is that
Jesus mandated, ―If any man will come after me, let him deny him-
self, and take up his cross, and follow me.‖78
Billy Graham and his insipid followers do not understand that
to take up a cross was a death sentence. One does not merely pick up
a cross at Wal-Mart; one is condemned to a cross! To carry a cross
does not equate with not being allowed to watch R-rated movies, to
not go to a bar, or to not vote for a Democrat; it means to crucify
oneself! In other words, to follow God‘s Law, e.g., to help the widow,
the orphan, the blind, sick, the prisoner, the poor.
The big Baptist church I had attended for a year during this
time period regrettably had a history of apathy and neglect with
regard to doing anything for the local community, or in coming to
agreement with anyone else within or without of the church-proper.
76
www.wcg.org
77
Mark Twain
78
Mathew 16:24
64
For instance, there was a major brouhaha over the condition of the
carpet in the church library. One deacon in his seventies, Walter
Demonbreun, jumped up from the pews one night and declared that
he was so embarrassed with the appearance of the carpeting in the
library that he was going to either attend church elsewhere, or hire a
new pastor if anyone from another church ever saw it.
Just before he stormed out through the chapel doors, I made
the statement, ―There are plenty of people in this neighborhood who
have holes in their floors. If carpeting is such a big issue, we should
spend the money on helping them—not to re-carpet a library that no
one has visited in ten years.‖
From the looks on their faces, one would‘ve thought I‘d just
pissed on the floor! Needless to say, building cosmetics took prece-
dence over the real needs of the community. Parenthetically, the
original carpet was absolutely fine in appearance. I mention this
event not for the sheer pleasure of a good rebuke story, but to help
illustrate the mindset of the people involved.
Nevertheless, the church almost split over the carpet issue, as
to which new color and which pattern. However, the hypocrites all
agreed quickly enough when asked to participate in the aforemen-
tioned Billy Graham Crusade. According to the plan, since the
church property was only two miles from Adelphia Stadium, we were
all to gather in the church parking lot two hours before each event.
We were to stretch a banner across both lanes of the avenue and
walk arm-in-arm behind the banner along the two mile trek so that
we could ―proclaim unity to the neighborhood.‖
What?
Absolutely, that had to have been the stupidest thing I‘d ever
heard. Remember, I‘ve seen and heard a lot of stupidity in my day—
between both bartending and being a Christian—but that was
absolutely absurd!
I stormed into Brother Rod‘s office and stated, ―There are
people dying all around us! Crack-whores are working the Texaco
station right across the street and some of them are barely teenagers!
People are starving all over the neighborhood. Some members of this
church don‘t have electricity or running water! Are we really going to
spend our time, energy, and money to do this?‖
The pastor informed me, ―The people you‘ve mentioned need
to know that there‘s a church here—right in their own neighbor-
hood—that loves God.‖
―What? You‘re kidding me, right?‖ I was never so overcome
with disappointment in Brother Rod.
I continued, ―First, these idiots plagiarize a tag-line from a
stupid football game—planting ‗Another Music City Miracle‘ all over
the city. They‘ve paid tens of thousands of dollars in billboard adver-
65
tising with that stupid slogan. There are thousands of needy people
that could eat for a whole year with just the advertising budget
alone!‖79
―Well, we‘re not just going to march down there alone, Keith.
We‘re going to march there together with two other churches from the
neighborhood. We‘re gonna show ‗unity‘.‖
As usual, my complaints and the cries of the underprivileged
fell on deaf ears. I had thought of pressing harder with God‘s warn-
ings about oppressing the widow, the orphan, and the poor,80 but I
didn‘t continue. It would do no good. As usual, the people in need
would stay in need. As of this writing, I can‘t help but wonder if I had
invoked specific scripture, maybe, just maybe, more reasonable
heads might‘ve prevailed. I‘ll never know, and I feel shameful—guilty
and shameful—for not speaking God‘s words.
* * *
Fast-forward three and a half years to Super Bowl XXXVIII,

February 01, 2004. In Houston, Texas more than 3,000 local and
out-of-state Baptists converged onto the city, by authority of the
Houston Super Bowl Evangelism Project. Over 200,000 pieces of
Christian soul-winning tracts were distributed at Houston-area
airports, parking lot tailgate parties, and inside the football complex-
at-large. Two hundred local Southern Baptist churches donated over
$50,000 and the Southern Baptist Convention‘s North America
Mission Board financed the rest of the event evangelism project;
including full-time salaries, printed materials, hotel rooms, and other
travel accommodations—included were food and entertainment
expenses for its staff.81
This was not the first time there had been an organized evan-
gelism event, though. Since 1996, this same exercise has been
performed at Super Bowls, World Series games, college basketball‘s
Final Four, and popular concert venues. And always, when the local
79
According to the audit of the Crusade, performed by Ernst and Young LLP, total
disbursement for the Nashville Crusade totaled $2,647, 198. Church contributions
totaled $214,202 and the offerings received at Adelphia Stadium totaled $978,638.
Reported by Mr. Bob Hickling, Crusade Ministries, Billy Graham Evangelistic
Association.
80
Deuteronomy 27:19
81
Houston Chronicle, January 17, 2004; ―Baptists Striving For Religious Touchdown
for Super Bowl‖. Richard Vara, reporter.
66
Southern Baptist churches lack in funding, the Southern Baptist

Convention picks up the tab for the rest.
So, why do I mention this? For the same argument and re-
buke as before: Christians will spend all of the above effort, energy,
and money to proselytize, though they continually refuse to feed,
clothe, and house the poor. I simply do not get it!
I find it to be terribly hypocritical that the Southern Baptist
Convention, specifically, and Protestant Christians, generally, will dig
down deep into their treasuries and personal pockets to give money
to buy bibles and send missionaries to the four corners of the globe,
but refuse adamantly to feed, clothe, and house (or at the very least,
assist in doing so) those who live right next-door to their own homes
and churches.
The most frequently offered response to these sadists is that
those living here in America who are in need, are ―too lazy‖ and/or
have access to social service agencies and ―entitlements.‖ But primar-
ily, the SBC states that these poor unfortunates have already heard
the good news of Jesus Christ, so, ―they can go without.‖ They deem
that if someone isn‘t a Christian, they should not receive the benefits
of being a Christian, i.e., assistance with their financial and living
needs. Apparently, bibles are more important to them than hot
sandwiches or dignity.
It‘s the same as if they were saying, ―Well, our threats of Sa-
tan and Hell had no effect on you, so we‘ll starve and freeze you to
death. Maybe then you‘ll come running to Jesus.‖
Jesus admonished to the religious-elite of his day when he

said,
―Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for

ye devour widows' houses, and for a pretence make
long prayer: therefore ye shall receive the greater dam-
nation. Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypo-
crites! for ye compass sea and land to make one
proselyte, and when he is made, ye make him twofold
more the child of hell than yourselves.‖82
Jesus further asked, ―When I was naked, did you clothe me?
When I was hungry, did you feed me? When I was thirsty, did you
give me anything to drink? When I was in prison, did you visit me?‖
82
Matthew 23:14–15
67
In rebuke his disciples asked when he was ever ―any of these

things?‖ Jesus informed them that when the children of the world are
hungry, naked, thirsty, so was he.83
I guess Christians and the leaders of the Southern Baptist
Convention either don‘t read their bibles or simply ignore what they
say. It‘s cold outside tonight in New Orleans as I write this passage.
There are people all over this city who are subject to hypothermia and
starvation at this very moment. I swear, if this book is a commercial
success, I will do what born-again Christians and the Southern
Baptist Convention will not do, but what Jesus would do if he were
here—I am going to provide for the widow, the orphan, the poor, and
the illegal immigrant.
―Thou shalt neither vex a stranger, nor oppress him:

for ye were strangers in the land of Egypt. Ye shall not
afflict any widow, or fatherless child. If thou afflict
them in any wise, and they cry at all unto me, I will
surely hear their cry; And my wrath shall wax hot, and
I will kill you with the sword; and your wives shall be
widows, and your children fatherless.‖84
Or, what about the New Testament accounts of the same

mandate? One example follows:
―Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and

faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in
their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted
by the world.‖85
How can Christians continually overlook the mandates from

above? They‘re plastered all over the bible!
* * *
Aside from the hoopla regarding the outright stupidity of the

Another Music City Miracle event mentioned herein, along with my
83
Paraphrase of Matthew 25:35–38
84
Exodus 22:21–24
85
James 1:27
68
detestable memories of WTVM-NBC‘s program manager‘s bullshit, the

question begs to ask: Why do I hate Billy Graham?
It‘s simple: I hate Billy Graham for the same reason I hate
Joel Osteen, Deepak Chopra, and Oprah Winfrey—they are friends of
the world and they teach an easy gospel. Rest assured that there is
no such thing as an easy gospel and one cannot be a friend of the
world and be a follower of God or Jesus! Bar none!
―Strive to enter in at the strait gate: for many, I say

unto you, will seek to enter in, and shall not be
able.‖86
The word strive in Greek is (ἀγωνίζομαι) agōnizomai which is

our word agonize: strive, struggle, to compete. That‘s right, to be a
follower of God or a disciple of Jesus, we must struggle. Therefore,
there is no easy gospel. There is no one-time repentance or walk
down a salvation aisle. There is no accept Christ into your heart as
your personal savior; and there is no get saved one night at a tent
revival. The word saved is the Greek word sōzō (σῴζω)87 and it is not a
one-time occurrence; to be saved means to be saved from the very
beginning through to the very end.
―Not everyone that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall en-
ter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the
will of my Father which is in heaven. Many will say to
me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in
thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? and
in thy name done many wonderful works? And then
will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from
me, ye that work iniquity.‖88
Further, Billy Graham has maintained a top-three position of

World’s Most Popular and World's Most Influential Person lists for over
forty years! He is the friend of presidents, kings, popes, and celebri-
86
Luke 13:24
87
The words saved and whole, e.g., thy faith hath made thee whole, is the word sōzō
(σῴζω) every single time in the New Testament!
88
Matthew 7:15–23
69
ties. Such friendship is the antithesis of a follower of God. Let‘s see

what biblical scripture has to say about Billy Graham:
―Woe unto you, when all men shall speak well of you!
for so did their fathers to the false prophets.‖ 89
Also,
―Ye adulterers and adulteresses, know ye not that the

friendship of the world is enmity with God? whosoever
therefore will be a friend of the world is the enemy of
God.‖90
Also,
―If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its

own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I
have chosen you out of the world. That is why the
world hates you.‖91
Also,
―Do not love the world or anything in the world. If any-

one loves the world, the love of the Father is not in
him.‖92
Of course, we must not overlook
―Beware of false prophets, which come to you in

sheep's clothing, but inwardly they are ravening
wolves. Ye shall know them by their fruits. Do men
gather grapes of thorns, or figs of thistles? Even so
every good tree bringeth forth good fruit; but a corrupt
tree bringeth forth evil fruit. A good tree cannot bring
89
Luke 6:26
90
James 4:4
91
John 15:19
92
1 John 2:15
70
forth evil fruit, neither can a corrupt tree bring forth

good fruit. Every tree that bringeth not forth good fruit
is hewn down, and cast into the fire. Wherefore by
their fruits ye shall know them.‖93
One of the most pertinent (and damning) quotations we have

from Jesus should come as no surprise to struggling Christians, but
is lost on Billy Graham:
―And whosoever doth not bear his cross, and come af-
ter me, cannot be my disciple.‖94
Where is Billy Graham‘s cross? Where is his persecution at

the hands of the world? Contrarily to what Baptist deacons and
hypocritical Christians will attest, not watching R-rated movies or not
having a glass of wine with dinner does not equate with carrying a
cross!
How then, does one get a cross? Can they be bought at Wal-
Mart? No! One is condemned to a cross! To carry a cross is to under-
go a death sentence! When our bosses tell us to do something that is
contradictory to the tenets of scripture and we refuse, we will get
reprimanded or fired. That is carrying a cross—figuratively speak-
ing—in our day and age. When we are asked to do something un-
sound scripturally by our mother, father, or spouse, we must refuse.
The ear-beating given by our mothers and the bitching-nagging-
bemoaning at the behest of our spouses is our figurative daily cross!
Of course, omitted herein are many, more severe modern-day exam-
ples.
Juxtapose, where was Billy Graham‘s cross when he met with
every single president from Harry Truman to Barack Obama? 95 Every
Catholic Pope since he was in his thirties? Additionally, although he
is anti-Semitic he has received awards, accolades, honorary degrees,
and congressional medals too numerous to list herein. Where exactly
is his cross? His death sentence? Where are his fiery trials? And
please, do not tell me that his son and heir-apparent, Franklin
Graham, used drugs for a while. That, is not, a cross, nor a fiery trial!
93
Matthew 7:15–20
94
Luke 14:27
95
Billy Graham is known as the ―pastor to presidents‖.
71
Woe to you, Billy Graham! Where is your cross, your scourge,

your fiery trails?
―For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scour-

geth every son whom he receiveth. If ye endure chas-
tening, God dealeth with you as with sons; for what
son is he whom the father chasteneth not? But if ye be
without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then
are ye bastards, and not sons.‖96
This one statement above demonstrates that Billy Graham is

not—definitively, is not—a child of God!
Lastly,
―Beloved, think it not strange concerning the fiery trial

which is to try you, as though some strange thing
happened unto you.‖97
But, as always, God‘s words and Jesus‘ instructions remain

lost on Christians. They will not take up their crosses. Instead, they
will make excuses as to why they don‘t (and shouldn‘t) do so. They
will run roughshod through scripture and over congregants‘ lives in
order to assuage their own lack of Christ-like behavior. They are
sinners of the worst sort. They are Christians. They are hypocrites.
If anyone disagrees with anything presented herein, said per-
son is not a disciple or servant of Jesus.
―But ye believe not, because ye are not of my sheep, as

I said unto you. My sheep hear my voice, and I know
them, and they follow me.‖98
Homework assignment: If you want to make any Baptist mad

enough to start a knife fight, tell him that which I've written about
Billy Graham herein. Juxtapose, a Billy Graham fanatic will get
pissed when you tell them that Jesus did not exist, but tell that same
fanatic that Billy Graham is a false prophet and destined for hell, and
you've got a real show on your hands! He will not merely grimace and
96
Hebrews 12:6-8
97
1 Peter 4:12
98
John 10:25–27
72
walk away, as he will about the Jesus statement. Instead, he will dig
his heels in and start swinging!
As Jesus said,
―But now ye seek to kill me, a man that hath told you
the truth...‖99
Said Graham fanatic will surely say that it is wrong to touch

God‘s anointed—referring to Billy Graham. He‘ll cite David‘s words, 100
partly. Of course, he will be in error. For one, Billy Graham is not one
of God‘s anointed! That fact has been proven within this chapter.
Secondly, they‘ll have to argue with Paul of Tarsus, who told his
disciple Timothy,
―But shun profane and vain babblings: for they will in-
crease unto more ungodliness. And their word will eat
as doth a canker: of whom is Hymenaeus and Philetus;
Who concerning the truth have erred, saying that the
resurrection is past already; and overthrow the faith of
some.‖101
In essence, Paul of Tarsus called out two young preachers,

Hymenaeus and Philetus, who were preaching that the resurrection
of Jesus Christ was a one-time event in the past. In essence, they
taught that there was a historical Jesus Christ of Nazareth who had
been crucified to death, then was resurrected bodily. Paul said that
such a preaching was wrong, and would spread like a cancer! (So, all
of you learned and controversial author‘s who state that Paul had no
knowledge of a historical Jesus, you are in error! Ha!) Yes, Paul‘s
Jesus was figurative solely.
Lastly, David scolded King Saul publicly on several occasions.
More importantly, David himself referred to Saul as ―God‘s anointed.‖
He would not allow his men to put the sword to Saul, 102 but he
certainly offered harsh words and scornful speeches—in public!
99
John 8:40
100
1 Samuel 24:1–22 & 1 Samuel 26:1–20
101
2 Timothy 2:16–18
102
2 Samuel 1:1–16
73
Lap Dances for Jesus
―The Church has had its fangs on our crotch for a long time.‖
~ Larry Flynt
When I was not at work or with my daughter during weekly

visitations, I was either reading my bible or out in the streets, asking
people to come to church with me. I tried to live what I preached and
I made every attempt to keep my own hypocrisy in check on a daily
basis. There were many days that were harder than others. But I
tried, nonetheless.
As a career bartender, I always mentioned to bartenders and
waiters that I was going to church and that they were more than
welcome to come with me. Without exception, the response was
always the same: They don’t want me there! One young lady I met
was named Chris who tended bar at the NASCAR Café on Broadway.
She was in her mid-twenties and was the single mother of a four-
year-old daughter. While having lunch at her bar one day, she told
me that on three occasions she had attended the First Baptist
Church of Nashville, located at the top of the hill on Seventh Avenue
South. She chose that particular church because it was located
basically a softball‘s throw from the restaurant. With a look of shame
Chris confided that she was told that she was not welcomed at the
First Baptist Church. She dropped her head when she told me that
she was snubbed by them the next two times she attended.
―Your daughter was born out of wedlock. Was that it?‖
―That wasn‘t it,‖ she said. ―When I told them I was a bartend-
er, they simply stopped talking to me. They quit asking me questions
about which Sunday school class my daughter would be placed in,
they quit looking me in the eyes, and they rudely walked away from
me while I was still talking.‖
―No shit?‖
―No shit.‖
I thought maybe she had exaggerated her story a bit. I felt
that maybe she felt uncomfortable when she arrived, because it does
seem that everyone at a big Baptist church is in a group. I also
thought that maybe she had transferred her own sensitivities and
feelings of inadequacy onto the welcoming party at the church.
Damn, when I‘m wrong, I‘m wrong!
Synchronicity placed me into the company of another young
bartender named Greg whom I met while sitting at Chris‘ bar a week
later. While we sat next to each other and ate lunch, I made the same
offer to him that I had offered not only to Chris, but to a hundred
other bartenders and waiters over the past two years.
Greg asked, ―You go to a Baptist church?‖
―Yes I do. Over by the Titans‘ stadium, in East Nashville.‖
―They won‘t let me go.‖
―Of course they will.‖ I added, ―If they‘ll let me go there, they‘ll
let anybody go there!‖
―Not me,‖ he defended. ―Three months ago I went up here to
the First Baptist Church at the top of the hill and they signed me up
in a DivorceCare class, a Sunday school class, and a New Convert‘s
class. But when I told them I was a bartender, all three of the men I
was talking with made excuses to leave and just walked away. They
never came back. Then, they refused to give me the information for
the class times or schedules. After the service was over, the same
three men refused to shake my hand.
―No shit?‖
―No shit.‖
So Chris had told the truth. Her story wasn‘t an exaggeration.
Greg laughed. ―Jesus turned water into wine. I guess its okay
to make it, just not okay to sell it.‖
* * *
The prohibition of alcohol use is paramount to Southern

Baptists. In 1972, my hometown in Etowah County, Alabama began
the process of repealing certain Blue Laws that prohibited alcohol
sales. During the maelstrom of debate, a Baptist preacher declared
that he knew firsthand of the evils of alcohol. From the pulpit, the
preacher told of the story of a man who‘d dug a hole in his back yard.
The man reportedly said, ―I don‘t want to live anymore. I‘m
going to buy a six-pack of beer, drink it, lie down in this hole and
die.‖
Yes, a six-pack of beer is deadly—ha! Some in the congrega-
tion covered their opened mouths and gasped. Some shook their
heads as if the man had offered praise to Satan. A few stared straight
ahead without blinking—realizing the absurdity of the congregation
and their pastor.
There‘s an adage which states: ―You have to take two Baptists
with you when you go fishing. If you take just one, he‘ll drink all of
your beer!‖
Another adage about Southern Baptist hypocrisy asks the
never-ending question: ―What‘s the difference between a Baptist and
a Catholic?‖
76
The answer: ―A Catholic will say ‗hello‘ to you at the liquor

store.‖
Protestants (Baptists in particular) hold a dim, sinful view
against alcohol consumption. During Communion (Lord‘s Supper)
services, wine has been replaced with mere grape juice. The prohibi-
tions against alcohol consumption are so severe that having a proper-
ly-paired glass of wine with dinner is equated with smoking a forty-
dollar rock of crack cocaine. As a result, when dining out, Baptists
will turn their wine glasses upside down and place them at the edges
of their tables.
―We don‘t drink! We‘re Baptists!‖
(I‘ve often wondered why they always declare that they‘re
Baptists rather than Christians.)
They did this constantly while I waited tables at The Olive
Garden in Houston. They‘d puff their chests out and verbally provoke
an altercation; wanting to debate the wait staff on the evils of alcohol.
During one of many occasions, I heard a young, twenty-something
waitress explain herself to one of the managers.
She almost cried.
―You tell me I have to give a wine presentation to every table;
but when these church people cuss me out or try to get me fired for
‗tempting them with alcohol,‘ you don‘t back me up!‖
―We can‘t lose customers,‖ the manager retorted.
―But they‘re trying to get me fired…‖
―You‘re not going to be fired. But company policy states that
we have to continue wine presentations for each course.‖
She finally cried.
―They‘re not going to tip me, you‘re going to comp most of their
meal, and I have to listen to lectures about church, and Jesus, and
alcohol.‖
This scenario was a constant, daily/nightly occurrence. After
three months of being berated by sanctimonious Christian custom-
ers, I finally engaged my Baptist customers more firmly. My first
encounter was with a Baptist deacon that attempted to give me grief
for performing a mandatory wine presentation.
―You know, Jesus not only ate with ‗wine-bibbers‘ he also
turned water into wine.‖
The look of contempt—fueled by rage—shot out of the dea-
con‘s mouth.
―How dare you! How dare you tell me that Jesus was a
drunk?‖
―I never called Jesus a drunk. I said that Jesus not only asso-
ciated with drunks, he turned water into wine and he drank wine
himself.‖
―Manager! I want a manager, right now!‖
77
Let‘s take a slightly different examination with the assertions

of born-again Christians and alcohol consumption. Then this debate
will be settled once and for all. Please consider the following:
Over ten years later, while waiting tables at TGI Friday‘s in

Chicago, David Hopkins (my wife‘s and my general manager) de-
manded that twelve percent or more of the waiters‘ tips were to be
reported on a shift-by-shift basis. I battled him extensively and even
stopped reporting tips altogether in protest. He warned us that an
IRS audit would be forthcoming; causing all of the other waiters to
get audited in the process. He also threatened us with possible
termination, if the corporation, so inclined. He further stated that the
corporation charged him a ten-dollar fine every pay period because
we were not reporting the mandated twelve-percent of our sales.
What he was attempting to enforce was illegal. A waiter (or
other tipped-income employee) is only required to report eight percent
of his sales. It was a big, never-ending issue with David, and report-
edly by him, with the corporation. Ironically, his twelve-percent
mandate is miniscule compared to most restaurants. Most require
that 100% of tips are to be reported; of those restaurants/bars, the
owner-managers usually adjust a waiters checkout sheets without
the waiter/bartender‘s knowledge. It is an illegal process that hap-
pens nationwide on a shift-by-shift basis.
In the mid- to late-eighties, the IRS instituted a voluntary
program for restaurant owners. The agreement promises to insulate
the participating restaurant or corporation from any IRS audit if the
company forces its tipped employees to report more than the required
eight-percent-of-sales statute.
As it was told to me in 1997 by a tax preparer, the IRS cannot
force tipped employees to report more than the statute allows. So, the
agreement was drafted by a national restaurant association, i.e.
lobbying group, and was accepted by the IRS. According to the quid
pro quo arrangement, the tipped employee‘s gross income is then
overly-taxed and restaurants can ―run hookers and crack cocaine out
the back door and can never be audited.‖
In essence, David Hopkins believed that he was fulfilling the
requirements of the Federal Tax Code because that‘s what the
corporation had trained him to believe. For me, or any other tipped
employee, to protest otherwise was considered to be booth a criminal
act and utterly repugnant to him.
Juxtapose the above scenario with the churches of today:
The pastor condemns that it is a sin for Christians to drink

alcohol. He makes no distinction between getting drunk and having a
78
glass of wine with dinner, or a beer while watching a ballgame. In his

mind, any alcohol is sinful. He knows it to be true because the
Southern Baptist Convention has given him literature that demon-
strates the sinfulness of alcohol consumption. Without hesitation, he
tyrannically enforces the no-alcohol stance for holiness in God‘s eyes.
He is rigid on this point—never wavering or relaxing on the issue.
When confronted with contradictory evidence that there are
only three prohibitions regarding alcohol consumption in the bible,103
he will throw his ecclesiastical hands into the air and proclaim
harshly that ―drinking alcohol is a sin!‖ He will not hear otherwise; he
will not believe otherwise, even with scriptural evidence. That‘s the
indoctrination he‘s received; it‘s the truth as far as he is concerned.
To him, the Southern Baptist Convention is the end-all of end-alls.
When he is reminded that Jesus turned water into wine he will state
that it was not real wine. He will parrot that there is a Greek word or
Aramaic phrase used in the text that is separate and distinct from
fermented wine, i.e., that it was nothing more than grape juice.
However, those of us in-the-know counter his point that at the
end of the miracle story, we are told that the priest mentions ―the
best wine has been served last.‖104 Further, when Paul makes men-
tion of drunkenness throughout his epistles, he was not merely
speaking of excessive social drinking; he was making reference to
Dionysian cults. Never allowing himself to appear befuddled, the
pastor will react harshly—sternly. Ego will supersede fact. He will
assuredly continue to condemn the congregant for consuming alcohol
and will threaten the revocation of any leadership position held.
When pressed, he will question the validity of the congregant‘s
salvation.
He answered and said unto them, ―Well hath Esaias

prophesied of you hypocrites, as it is written, ‗This
103
Do not drink to get drunk, do not drink to see someone‘s nakedness, do not drink
while performing service in the temple
104
John 2:10 Anyone who has knowledge of wine service or fine-dining knows that,
generally speaking, older, more expensive wine is the more desirable than cheaper,
younger wine. Without exception, older, more expensive wine is always served first.
When the supply of expensive wine has been depleted, lesser-quality, cheaper wine
is offered to guests. This process keeps down costs; further to keep serving good
wine after the guests‘ palettes are clogged is a waste. This is not only common
practice, but good economics.
Luke 5:39 In addition, the example Jesus gave of the new wine and the old wine skin
takes on a whole new connotation after having understood the content above.
79
people honoureth me with their lips, but their heart is

far from me.
―‗Howbeit in vain do they worship me, teaching
for doctrines the commandments of men.‘
―For laying aside the commandment of God, ye
hold the tradition of men, as the washing of pots and
cups: and many other such like things ye do.‖
And he said unto them, ―Full well ye reject the
commandment of God, that ye may keep your own
tradition…Making the word of God of none effect
through your tradition, which ye have delivered: and
many such like things do ye.‖105
The preceding two examples are identical. They differ only

that one is ecclesiastical and one is secular. David Hopkins refused
to do any outside research into the IRS matter; he relied fully and
wholly on the corporation. The preacher relied solely on the SBC,
without relying on outside, biblical evidence of his own study.
The results are the same: The employee/layperson is forced
into a position of disadvantage, humiliation, and public threat; all the
while, he knows he is right. One could remove the alcohol prohibition
and transpose any other variable into the equation. The sum will
remain the same—always.
The truth of the matter is that Christians who hold objections to

alcohol consumption for reasons of piety are hypocrites if they dine at
restaurants where alcohol is sold, or buy gasoline at service sta-
tions/convenience stores that sell alcohol. By way of true life exam-
ples, here are the reasons why:
Example 1:
From the time I tried to get right with God till the time I‘d had
enough of God‘s people and left the church altogether, I was told
similarly by those within the church leaders at every church I’d
attended that I could not be employed as a waiter or a bartender and
continue to attend their church. I was lectured repeatedly about the
evils of alcohol, and was given one admonition after another about
105
Mark 7:6–19
80
how I would be ―committing sin against God‖ should I work at any

restaurant that served alcohol.
I always reminded them that working as a bartender and wai-
ter was all I knew. I further protested that Nehemiah in the Old
Testament had been the cup bearer to the king, and that he was
called by God to do great things—mainly to call God‘s people out of
Babylon and to rebuild the Temple of God. 106 I also informed them
that King Solomon had numerous bartenders and waiters in his
court.107 But always, biblical facts fell on deaf ears.
I was further told by Pastor Nobel Gammon of First Nashville
Assembly of God that it was ―better to live a life of poverty than to go
into the bowels of Hell and work at a restaurant that served alcohol.‖
I pleaded, ―But Brother Gammon, don‘t you and your wife eat
at restaurants that serve alcohol?‖
―Blasphemy!‖ He cried out in protest, ―We never drink the de-
mon rum when we go out to eat!‖
―Well then, why is it okay to patronize a place that sells alco-
hol, but it‘s not okay to work in one? If I don‘t drink it and only serve
it, how is that different?‖
―Boy, you‘re playing with fire! The Devil‘s fire! Now, you go
home and pray, and pay your tithes, and God will give you a job that
doesn‘t cause him to turn away from you!‖
―But you didn‘t answer my question. How is it different from
what you and your wife do every Sunday after church?‖
―God‘s going to kill you for questioning a man of God. And
that‘s what I am—glory to God!—a man of God!‖ He concluded with a
hefty knee slap as he danced out of his office.
Example 2:
Brother Gammon had asked me to accompany him some-

where or other, but first we stopped to gas up at a neighborhood
Texaco station. I piled into his new Mercedes Benz. It sparkled. It
actually sparkled! After I pumped the gasoline for him, I entered the
store and encountered a scene so wild that I knew I‘d never forget. A
young girl with sporadically missing teeth and greasy, stringy hair
stood next to the cash register and across the counter from the
pastor of a local Baptist church—you know, one of those big ones
that usually sits on a street corner. The young cashier held a couple
106
Nehemiah 1:11 and 2:1–4
107
1 Kings 10:5, II Chronicles 9:4, and Nehemiah 1:11
81
of dollar bills in her right hand and some loose, clinking change in
her left. She continued to offer it to the pastor of the Baptist church
across the street. Tears streamed down her cheek. Her chin quivered.
But the pastor acted as if he had no concern for a receipt or his
change. To everyone in the store it was apparent that he was on a
self-appointed mission from God.
―…and you young lady,‖ the old pastor barked out, ―are send-
ing these poor souls straight to hell! How dare you sell that man a six
pack of beer? Do you think he needs a six pack of beer?‖
―Glory to God!‖ Brother Gammon shouted as he stood next in
line, dancing on the balls of his feet.
I stood and watched as the poor cashier was held hostage.
The two pastors kept looking at each other, all the while preaching to
the young lady.
―Sir,‖ she squeaked out through a sniffle, ―please take your
change.‖
The Baptist preacher scolded, ―You should lose your job, mis-
sy! How dare you! You not only sold that man a six pack of beer, but
you did it right in front of me—me—a man of God!‖
Brother Gammon offered to the Baptist preacher, ―I came in
here to buy gasoline, not beer! I didn‘t come in here to be tempted to
become a drunk!‖
He pointed his diamond covered hand at the innocent, under-
paid, near-toothless cashier in rebuke.
―You‘re tempting me to sin against God by selling beer, and
for that you‘re going to hell!‖
―Amen, brother! Amen!‖
―I‘m going to see to it that you don‘t have the opportunity to
tempt anyone else with that beer! I‘m going to call the Texaco people
and tell them exactly what you‘ve done here today!‖
―Sir, please—please take your change! We have a license to
sell beer. See? It‘s legal!‖
―Not to God‘s laws it ain‘t!‖
―Glory to God!‖ Brother Gammon shot out again, ―Glory to
God!‖
It didn‘t take long for me to see that the two rival pastors were
playing to, or off of, one another. Regrettably, they chose to berate the
poor, innocent sheep for their own egos. She cried as she continued
to offer the pastor his change. He refused adamantly.
The Baptist preacher yelled out, ―You! You‘re the cause of all
the problems in this neighborhood, because you‘re selling beer to
these people!‖
The poor girl then begged—literally begged—for him to take
his change and to exit the store. The line of customers grew longer
and longer. They grew more and more impatient too. Instead of
82
retreating, the pastors acted as if the other patrons were the au-
dience at a tent revival. They refused to behave as if it was a Texaco
gas station in East Nashville.
I had to interject, ―If it‘s wrong for her to sell it, then isn‘t it
wrong for you to buy something here? She just works here, she‘s
done nothing wrong.‖
The growing line—all eight people—applauded me. But the
two at the front of the line and causing the commotion—Brother
Gammon and the Baptist preacher—both told me to ―shut up,‖
because they were ―doing God‘s work.‖ Twenty minutes later, while
sitting in Brother Gammon‘s new Mercedes, he told me that I had
―better never embarrass him like that again.‖
Brother Gammon—and all other preachers in America—are

hypocrites of the worst sort for imposing religious restrictions on
their attendees‘ vocations, wherein they choose to patronize the same
places that they reject as employment. In other words, if it is not
okay to drink or sell alcohol, then it is not okay to do business there
of any kind.
Example 3:
Not known to most (if any) modern-day preachers is the fact

that Paul of Tarsus did not rebuke his estranged converts for drun-
kenness, due solely to biblically pious restrictions on alcohol con-
sumption. Not in the least! His rebuke to them was a teaching tool;
he warned against participating in the Dionysian mysteries, which
included excessive drunkenness and riotous liturgies. Wine was not
bad, but getting drunk enough to chase down deer and kill them with
bare teeth was!
Example 4:
We have all heard conjecture as to why Jesus did not turn

water into wine, but rather, into grape juice. That correction is
addressed at footnote #104 in this same chapter, and will not be
repeated herein. However, it is of import to note that the miracle in
question was extrapolated right out of the Dionysian handbook!
If pressed, your preacher will tell you that certain words are
mistranslations from Koine Greek, into Latin, then into Old English,
and that wine did not mean a fermented wine, i.e., there was no
83
alcohol content. Any preacher who cites this type of mischief onto the
scriptures is a damned liar!
They‘ll also use circular logic, falsified academic treatise, and
outright jibber jabber when cornered on the parable of new wine into
old wine skins, as taught by Jesus.108
The exception that makes the rule:
Examples 1 through 4 above are rock solid pieces of informa-

tion to deflect a pastor or deacon‘s attempts to throw a bartender or
winebibber out of a Sunday school class. However, there are three
valid exceptions to alcohol restriction listed within the bible. For one,
we are not to consume alcohol to the point of becoming drunk.
Secondly, we are not to use alcohol (or Ruffies) to see one‘s naked-
ness, i.e., to have sex with them. (According to biblical law, civil and
criminal law, this act is equated with rape.) Thirdly, we are not to
consume wine or strong drink while attending to the temple service.
A possible fourth exception to the no-alcohol stance is one
that has laid on my heart and mind for years. It is one that I struggle
with continually. I‘ll offer it by way of a true-life situation:
Anthony was a young black teenager who had recently begun
to attend my Baptist church in East Nashville. He was a sweet kid
from a bad neighborhood, and for some reason he kind of latched
onto me even though I was 20 years his senior. He even asked me to
walk down the aisle with him when he got saved. Though I knew
better, I also knew that an impromptu sermonette about the pitfalls
of tradition versus scripture would have ruined the experience for him.
Therefore, I gladly walked down the aisle with him, taught him the
sinner’s prayer, and then presented him to the senior pastor, Brother
Rod.
A couple of weeks later, Brother Rod continued to hammer me
with twisted scripture and innuendo regarding my vocation, i.e.,
bartender-waiter. He eventually asked a pertinent question that
struck me broadside.
―Keith, what are you going to do when Anthony gets peer
pressured into drinking or smoking with the kids in his neighbor-
hood? What are you going to do when he‘s struggling to do what‘s
right, then he sees you tending bar when his family goes out to eat
next weekend?‖
108
Luke 5:39 ―No man also having drunk old wine straightway desireth new: for he
saith, ‗The old is better.‘‖
84
Rod continued calmly, ―What if he reasons that it‘s okay for

him to drink with his friends, since you‘re pouring it and serving it to
others?‖
Knowing better than to base my answer on emotion rather
than scripture, I turned to the bible for answers.
―Thou shalt not curse the deaf, nor put a stum-

blingblock before the blind, but shalt fear thy God: I
am the LORD.‖109
―Cursed is the man who leads the blind astray on the

road.‖110
―But take heed lest by any means this liberty of yours

become a stumblingblock to them that are weak.‖111
Brother Rod was correct in the fact that my vocation as a bar-

tender might very well present itself as a stumbling block to young
Anthony, or to any of the wayward girls who attended my Sunday
school class. My heart was quickened, but I did not do that which I
should have. I did not come out of her.112 I was too fearful that I
would not be able to pay my rent, make my child support, or payoff
my debts if I‘d left my job. The irony was that I had tried for years to
get out of the restaurant-bar business, but I could never support
myself while doing so. It seems as I was damned if I did and damned
if I didn‘t. In essence, I was just damned.
* * *
Even though many Christian churches have begun to take

easier stances on things like the existence of hell, attire, makeup,
and hair length, they‘ve clung tightly to the exclusivity rhetoric of the
past when it comes to whom might be welcome at their church
houses.
The reader will recall my plight to start a Sunday service that
began at a later time than usual so that bartenders and waiters
109
Leviticus 19:14
110
Deuteronomy 27:18
111
1 Corinthians 8:9
112
Revelation 18:4
85
would be able to attend church services. I was told flatly that it was
not possible.
―What do you want me to do, Keith? I can‘t have that type of
person as a member of this church.‖ His voice shook and for the first
time, I saw Brother Rod look at me with disgust. ―You already know
what they‘ll do if they find out that I have a bartender for a Sunday
school teacher!‖
―But Rod, Jesus drank and ate with the ‗wine-bibbers‘…‖
―No he didn‘t! That word is a mistranslation! Do you think
that Jesus would‘ve drunk wine, or had anything to do with anyone
who did?‖
I was in tears. Southern Baptist tradition had bested me once
again. I was made to feel belittled for trying to bring the gospel of
Jesus to those whom I felt needed it most: those, who like me, who
had been shunned because of our professions. I‘d been denied
employment at the Southern Baptist Convention‘s LifeWay Bookstore
and I‘d been denied leadership positions in churches; and right there,
I was losing my pastor—another pastor—who failed to be reminded of
the love that Jesus offered.
―When I changed the marquee two weeks ago, I put up there,
‗Only Sinners Welcome.‘ I thought that was a good message—that
we‘re all sinners in the eyes of God. But, no! They threatened to fire
me because I put that up there!‖
One of the deacon members told Brother Rod, ―How dare you
say that I‘m not welcomed in my own church? I was a member of this
church before you were born; and I’m not a sinner!113 So, you’re
saying that I’m not welcomed at my own church?”
Rod looked at me squarely. I hoped that I hadn‘t lost him—or
pushed him away—after all.
―They‘ll fire me! Brenda and I just bought a new house. I sold-
off most of my stock portfolio for the down payment. I can‘t welcome
bartenders and waiters to this church!‖
Brother Rod paused for a moment. His voice became more
contemptuous than before.
―What‘s next, Keith? Do you want drug addicts and strippers
to come to church here, too?‖
Ten years later I watched a report on a cable news network
about a particular group of women called JC’s Girls. They group
consisted of former strippers and porn actresses who go into strip
113
1 John 1:8–10 ―If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth
is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to
cleanse us from all unrighteousness. If we say that we have not sinned, we make him
a liar, and his word is not in us.‖
86
clubs and pay strippers for private dances. While with the strippers
in private booths or back rooms, they share their Christian conver-
sion experiences. They reported that they do not hassle the girls and
that they pay them for their time. The strippers to whom they share
the good news of Jesus Christ are then given directions to church
services that coincide with their nontraditional schedules.
The responses from sex industry workers have been over-
whelmingly favorable. The responses from Christian churches,
however, have been damning. Christian authorities continue to scorn
JC’s Girls114 (aka Strippers for Jesus) with mudslinging efforts and
all-out negative television campaigns. The ministry‘s founder, former
stripper-turned-evangelist Heather Veitch, has received ―truckloads
of Christian hate mail, has had her life threatened by Christian
stalkers, and has had her house broken into by Christians.‖ 115 The
detractors have piously declared that the ministry was founded
merely to further titillate men, and to blaspheme the word of God and
the name of Jesus Christ.
These same Christian leaders do not, however, object to nudi-
ty and sexual escapades when no one is watching. The reader is well-
aware of the sexual exploits of Reverend Jimmy Swaggart. He
preached hellfire-and-brimstone against rock and roll music, daytime
television, secular movie theatres, and science fiction novels—
declaring that each led down a ―pathway to pornography.‖ He was
arrested twice for hiring low-rent hookers. He was subsequently
caught several times with adult magazines strewn about his church-
owned station wagon. That‘s an old story. (Incidentally, he still
maintains a worldwide ministry; his donations and other financial
support seem to increase annually.)
However, the reader might not be aware of an adult enter-
tainment actress named Crystal Ball (pseudonym). She reports that
her strangest time of having sex off-camera was in Los Angeles while
attending a church revival of some sort. A world-famous, African-
American preacher recognized her in the congregation. (I‘ve often
considered how he recognized her?) He focused his attention on her
all during his sermon. Immediately afterward, he approached her for
spiritual counseling. Because she was a porn star he asked if she
would meet him in private so that the rumor mill would be silenced.
When she entered his hotel room, she found his entire ministerial
114
www.JCsGirls.org
115
The Pussycat Preacher © 2008 Smiling Zebra Pictures
87
staff and several deacons. There was no talk of spirituality; there was
only talk of a sexual tryst. They gangbanged her until she escaped.
Crystal Ball no longer attends church functions. It seems that
she is recognized (then propositioned) by the church‘s leaders almost
every time she goes to church—regardless of the church. These very
same church leaders, Ball reports, are well-known to preach against
nudity, premarital sex, the adult film industry, and other ―social
evils.‖ They also seem to be the first to bed her. It‘s too bad JC’s Girls
didn‘t get to her first.
88
From the Church House to the Courthouse
―Jesus was all right, but his disciples were thick and ordinary. It's
them twisting it that ruins it for me.‖
~ John Lennon
Christians will take one another to court at the drop of their

hats. Over the years I‘ve been told by preacher after preacher that it‘s
perfectly acceptable for Christians to sue one another and to levy
huge settlements, replete with punitive damages. Christians are not
immune from filing criminal charges either—many times falsely.
However, according to New Testament scripture, Christians are not
allowed to take their disputes before non-Christian courts or judges.
―If any of you has a dispute with another, dare he take

it before the ungodly for judgment instead of before the
saints?‖116
How interesting! Considering that state is separate from

church, all civil courts are deemed ungodly. Does this stop Christians
from tying up the Supreme Court with lawsuits concerning school
prayer, manger scenes, or other absurdities? Hell no, it doesn‘t!
Below are several verses that Christians might want to chew on while
digesting their hypocrisy.
―And if any man will sue thee at the law, and take
away thy coat, let him have thy cloke also.‖117
―…and forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those

who trespass against us…‖118
―Judge not, that ye be not judged.‖119
116
1 Corinthians 6:1–8 NIV
117
Matthew 5:14
118
Matthew 6:9–13
Jesus Sued Me in Court
―Judge not, and ye shall not be judged, condemn not

and ye shall not be condemned: forgive, and ye shall
be forgiven.‖120
The Christian-elite gleefully takes center stage when it comes

to suing one another (or the neighbor up the street). However, Jesus
and Christians hold differing opinions regarding the courts. I have
listed five empirical commands by the founder of the Christian faith.
1. Jesus made mention in two of the gospels regarding the

religious-elite of his day and their propensity to sue-at-
will.
2. Later, he gave empirical instructions about taking oaths—
he forbade it.
3. He told several parables about forgiveness and impending
judgment for those who would not forgive others. He even
cited courtroom judgments in his parables.
4. When he was arrested and brought before the Sanhedrin,
he refused to answer questions or contradict their lies and
false accusations. Even though his life depended on it, he
did not offer a defense.
5. After his resurrection he told his disciples not to prepare a
defense when they were brought before the courts. He told
them that the Holy Spirit would defend them when neces-
sary.
Even with the evidence cited above, Christians will gladly sue
one another in court without hesitation. They hearken to have a civil
or criminal judgment placed against someone‘s record, or have their
credit rating diminished. They do so without care. They do so without
the approval of Jesus.
119
Matthew 7:1
120
Luke 6:37
90
Christian Politicians and a Bastard Named ―Al Gore‖
"If God hasn't stopped you yet, the government will."

~ Ray Romano
As any churchgoer will attest, politics presents itself often

within the walls of the Christian churches. Though, if it were known
by the IRS, each ministry or church would lose its 501 (c) 3 tax-
exempt status. According to the federal tax codes, churches with
non-profit status are prohibited from making, contributing or enlist-
ing and soliciting any effort, either implied or expressed, in civil,
political proceedings.
Religious fervor and panic hit their pinnacle during the presi-
dential, primary and caucus, campaign trail of 2007 and 2008.
Former governor of Massachusetts, and Republican ―frontrunner,‖
Mitt Romney was placed neck-and-neck with a former governor of
Arkansas, Mike Huckabee, who happened to be an ―active‖ Baptist
minister. Prior to entering politics, he was president of the Arkansas
Baptist State Convention.
As is common, the denominational litmus tests continued to
take center stage during the Republican debates. Huckabee conti-
nually refused to voice his opinion of creationism versus evolution,
and the inner-workings of the Baptist faith. Romney, on the other
hand, refused to speak on issues of Mormonism, i.e. magical under-
wear, Jesus residing in the Mormon Temple, polygamy, and other
inner-workings of his faith.
Having lost some credibility with the religious-right of the Re-
publican Party, Romney recalled the success of President John
Kennedy‘s election-eve address on Catholicism 47 years prior.
Romney finally, though reluctantly, gave a speech to explain his belief
in ―Mormonism.‖ Though he refused to address the particulars of the
beliefs of Mormonism, he did cite Article 6 of the US Constitution:
―…no religious test shall ever be required as a qualification for
office…‖
According to Linda Feldman, reporter for The Christian
Science Monitor, the speech concerning the issue of his faith was
necessary. In her article, she stated,
―The rapid growth of the Mormon church, with 5 mil-

lion members in the US and some 13 million world-
Christian Politicians and a Bastard Named Al Gore
wide, is cited as a cause of concern for Evangelicals.

Both faiths actively seek to convert one another‘s
members, and some Evangelicals have expressed con-
cern that having a Mormon president would aid in the
growth of Mormon membership roles.‖
Those crazy Christians were at it again! Their membership

rolls and church treasuries were more important than theological
accuracy, regarding Mormonism versus Protestant Christianity. Their
political concerns centered solely on money and numbers, not on
ethics and charity of their faith.
Ron Reagan, Jr. was asked during an interview if he would
consider running for public office. He laughed aloud immediately. ―I
can‘t get elected in this country! I‘m an atheist!‖
Regrettably, even though he had over forty years of ‖inside‖
information about the inner-workings of government and politics, had
met world leaders, had his family‘s fortune as a war chest and his
father‘s name recognition, he admitted freely that he will never be
―electable.‖ What a shame. A dire shame!
Let‘s examine, for a moment, a hypothetical situation.
1. ―Candidate A‖ loves his family and country. He is a successful

businessman who has a strongly-held faith. His faith consists
of Mickey Mouse. He believes, as well as millions of other po-
tential constituents and supporters, that at midnight, Mickey
Mouse climbs up the Sears Tower, grant wishes and sings.
2. ―Candidate B‖ also loves his family and country. He, too, is a
successful businessman who has a strongly-held faith. His
faith varies a bit from Candidate A. He believes that, yes,
Mickey Mouse will appear at midnight, but not at the Sears
Tower. Instead, he (and millions of others like him) insists
that Mickey Mouse will climb down the Golden Gate Bridge,
where he will grant wishes and dance. (Mickey doesn‘t have
much of a singing voice!)
3. ―Candidate C‖ also loves his wife, family and country. He also
is a successful businessman who has a strongly-held faith. He
believes that human beings, when given the chance, can do
wonderful things for humanity and society through volunteer-
ism, charity and general altruism. However, he knows that
Mickey Mouse is nothing more than an animated construct
that was designed solely to entertain the masses and generate
revenue for those who promote him. Through rationale, rea-
son and rightness of mind, he realizes that Candidates A and
B are probably good men; but, like their constituents and
92
supporters, they are delusional. According to him, how else

can one explain the idea of adults who believe that a cartoon
character is a real, life-breathing, wish-granting entity? How-
ever, he also knows that he has absolutely no viable chance of
being elected to the desired office because those whom he
deems as ―delusional‖ see him as delusional because of his
disbelief. (Whatever happened to the separation of Disney and
state?)
What a damn shame!

Another hot-button issue during the primary and caucuses
was the issue of Global Warming. Former Vice-President Al Gore
wrote a book and scripted a movie; both were titled An Inconvenient
Truth. In 2007 he won a Nobel Prize for his efforts at bringing atten-
tion to the decline of the world‘s ecosystem by corporate atrocities
and governmental apathies.
He didn‘t know it, but Christian apathies and atrocities
should‘ve been cited, as well. Before his death, Jerry Falwell proc-
laimed from his bully-pit that ―…the threat of Global Warming is a lie
from the Devil. The Devil wants to confuse good Christians with this
Global Warming-lie to redirect the focus of spreading the gospel to
saving the planet…‖
Without a doubt, Jerry Falwell ―got it wrong‖ again. The first
thing ―God‖ told Adam was to take care of the animals of the earth,
air and seas, as well as the earth itself. Adam was given ―dominion‖
over the animals and the earth. If the biblical account of this were
true, then the pious followers of Judaism and Christianity have
disregarded the mandate since its inception. They will, however,
repeat all of the ―now don‘ts‖ and ―thou shalt nots‖ that Jehovah
demanded till their dying days. But when it comes to the altruistic,
human-supportive mandates that Jehovah pronounced, the church
has always sought to disregard and dismiss them.
Sadly, I have never heard anyone—reporter or political/social
commentator, alike—tell of the real reason why Christians are
opposed to cleaning up the planet and helping to protect the envi-
ronment. Simply put, they feel that their efforts will be in vain
because Jesus will return too soon to accomplish it; deeming any effort
unnecessary, and a waste of time and money.
That‘s right! Why should born-again Christians protect the
beautiful animals and dependent life forms of planet Earth when
Jesus is going to return any minute and remove His church from
here? They will further attest that, according to the book of Revela-
tions, the antichrist will destroy one-third of the earth, and God‘s
punishments and broken seals will destroy the remaining two-thirds.
Never mind the fact that, to date, 99% of the living species of the
93
planet Earth has already been forced into extinction. Adam and his
offspring were told to name and take care of all animal life; Noah was
forced to preserve and replenish all animal life; but Christians choose
to turn a blind eye to all animal life—for fun and profit.
That‘s right! Once again; we have evidence that Christians do
not perform the mandates from their bibles. Instead, they ridicule
and judge others for not believing in the book that they promote—the
same book they disregard.
Parenthetically, I am a firm believer that Global Warming is
an actual, verifiable fact. I cannot see how or why any rational,
logical person refuses to see for themselves the deteriorated, present
condition of the planet. Uncontrovertibly, the effects of Global Warm-
ing are factual and self-evident. So are the facts that the earth‘s
climate changes and underlying habitative influences have dimi-
nished, and can be attributed to naturally recurring cyclical changes.
We are, in all actuality, traveling throughout the solar system, and
our solar system travels throughout the galaxy, etc. However, the
remedies we could have offered for this current cyclical move have
been greatly diminished due to the apathy of Mother Earth‘s inhabi-
tants—especially Christians.
Having stated all of the above, I find it difficult to believe the
hoopla regarding the imminent threat of Global Warming. The reason
being: Al Gore is driving the Global Warming bandwagon. He cannot
be believed or trusted. The following will demonstrate why not.
I had a personal experience with Al Gore when I lived in Nashville. It

regarded my yet-unborn daughter, Bethany. It happened just about
the time of her birth. I‘d received a postcard-type notice in the mail
from Senator Al Gore. It announced that he was to hold a town hall
meeting in downtown Nashville. Though I‘d never trusted politicians,
I was at my wit‘s end. I thought I‘d give him a try. I was desperate for
an official audience wherein I could address my grievances against
the juvenile courts and subsequent statutes, and to determine if
there might be help available, of which I was not aware. I was the
first one there.
After his speech, he offered an open-floor to his constituents.
Questions and complaints came forth. I wrestled with whether or not
I was going to ask my questions about the rights (and potential
rights) of fathers.
I heard him promise definitively, ―…I will not run for the office
of president or vice-president…my family—especially my son—needs
me to be home as much as possible…he needs his father…‖
That was it! That was my introduction! It was as if the un-
iverse put those words in his mouth; they gave me the courage I
needed.
94
―Senator,‖ I started, ―I was in a relationship with a woman

and we conceived a child. Our child is due anytime now, though I do
not know when. I am not allowed to know when. The mother refuses
to allow me to have any knowledge of our baby‘s prenatal care. She
refuses to allow me to help with the medical bills; she says that she
has welfare and Medicaid. She further says that she‘ll never allow me
to see our baby. She tells me that she‘ll have me arrested every time I
try to gain legal access through the courts. She‘s already done it
once.
―What legal recourse do I have? And why does the Tennessee
Department of Human Services tells me that if they decide to sue me
for financial compensation, then they‘ll have right to do so, even
though I‘ve been to every damn department I can find to tell them
that I willing to pay for it now…‖
―Well,‖ in his tense, monosyllabic-style, ―someone in the back
will meet with you and take your information…they‘ll get in touch
with you…‖ They never did.
Instead, I had to hound Senator Gore‘s office every day after
work, before his office closed. Finally, a man named Elbert121 agreed
to see me. He was either a very light-skinned African-American, or he
was mixed–race. I laughed silently. The situation was such a cliché; a
liberal senator who hires minorities as his aides and assistants. Was
he the best-qualified applicant for the job? Or, was he merely affirma-
tive action at work?
―What‘s your problem, dude? You‘ve got it made! You don‘t
have to worry about child support, seeing the kid…she‘s given you a
free ride. And if anything happens, you‘re on record all over the state
for trying to do the right thing.‖
He continued, ―But nobody cares. Why do you care, so much?
Just leave it alone! You‘ve got what every man wants! You‘re off the
hook!‖ His enthusiasm was startling.
―Look, I don‘t want to get arrested in here, or anything…but
you‘re attitude is bullshit! I‘m that child‘s father! Why won‘t your
office help me? You just said I was doing the right thing…‖
―You‘re off the hook, dude!‖ Dude, again. ―You‘ve got a free
ride!‖
Disgusted and let down, I demanded, ―I want to make an ap-
pointment with the senator. This is bullshit!‖
He reached down and punched a fast-blinking light on his
phone deck and picked up the receiver.
Elbert mumbled, ―Yes, I told him. Yes, sir. I told him…‖
He placed the receiver down. The little light went out.
121
Maybe Egbert.
95
―I‘ve just got off the phone with Senator Gore. Just like I told
you before—why do you care so much? Just leave it alone! You‘ve got
what every man wants! You‘re off the hook!‖
I felt nauseous. There really was no hope, was there? I looked
down at the previously flashing light on the phone. It was still out.
―Those weren‘t your words? They were his?‖
―Of course—I don‘t make policy here; the senator does.‖
―Those were Al Gore‘s words?‖
―Yes, Mr. Nicholson. Good day.‖
Fast-forward four years to the autumn of 1996: at Legislative
Plaza, near the capitol building, located in downtown Nashville, Al
Gore and his wife, Tipper, held a news conference and pep rally. The
intent: to promote Tennessee‘s new welfare reform program—Families
First. It replaced, by use of a federal waiver, the Aid to Families with
Dependent Children (AFDC) program.122 At the conference and rally,
Al Gore spoke platitudes of ―the importance of family and faith, the
importance and dire necessity of a father‘s presence in the house-
hold.‖
On May 16, 1999, according to his official website:
―Gore has long been a leader in the call for greater parental
responsibility, especially from fathers. He has been central to the
administration‘s crackdown on deadbeat dads, leading to a dramatic
surge in child support payments. And he has called for all fathers to
assume a greater role in their children‘s education, health and
upbringing. [Gore supports] requiring all federal agencies to streng-
then their efforts to support responsible fatherhood.‖ 123
Exactly one month later, BBC News reported:
―Mr. Gore…promised moral leadership to tackle what

he called the crisis in the American family…There is
hunger and thirst for goodness among us…If you en-
trust me with the presidency, I will marshal its author-
ity, its resources and its moral leadership to fight for
America‘s values…these are our deficits now: the time
deficit in family life, the decency deficit in our common
culture, the care of our little ones and elderly par-
ents…with your help I will take my own values of faith
122
www.tennessee.gov & http://state.tn.us/humanserv/adfam/afs_tanf.htm
123
www.algore2000.com/issues/familes.html 5/16/99 May 16, 1999
96
and family to the presidency to build an America that

is not only better off but better.‖124 125
In 2000, Al Gore later threw himself onto the cause of Elián

González. Little Elián was a Cuban-borne child who was abducted
from his father by his mother and her criminal boyfriend. They and
ten others departed from Cuba for the United States. Their boat
acquired mechanical problems and sank. Everyone drowned except
for seven year old Elián and two men who were involved in the
smuggle for hire scam. His mother‘s boyfriend lived in Miami and was
one of the three who had routinely smuggled illegal Cuban immi-
grants.
Nevertheless, Elián‘s father loved his son and wanted him re-
turned home to Cuba. However, the political drums began to beat
fiercely when it became a matter of patriotic grandstanding126 verses
the parental rights of Elián‘s father. For six months straight, the
news reported politicians, lawyers, and clergymen with their pundit
asides regarding the potential fate of little Elián and his father.
Little Elián was on US soil, in the hands of his mother‘s rela-
tives. His father was in Cuba and financially unable to enter the
United States of America, pay for a team of lawyers, and return with
his son. That is, if he was successful in establishing his legal, paren-
tal rights.
Al Gore beat the drum louder than anyone. Once again, he
cited fathers‘ rights and the importance of family over politics. He
broke ranks with the majority consensus of democrats and sided with
the views of more mainstream, value-inspired republicans.
Elián‘s father won. He had prevailed against insurmountable
odds. As of this writing, Elián is in Cuba with his father and is doing
well in high school. But, I have to ask, why weren‘t Bethany and I
just as important in Al Gore‘s eyes? Why would he tell his assistant
and aide the things he did, then beat the faith-and-values and
fatherhood-is-important drums at every opportunity for little Elián
González?
124
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/americas/370847.stm
125
When Al Gore ran against George Bush for the 2000 presidential election, I mailed
the story above to the Republican National Committee. Not receiving a reply, I
emailed a copy that had much more detail than what is listed herein. No one re-
sponded.
126
God-fearing, capitalist America verses godless, Communist Cuba. What a fucking
joke!
97
The answer is because of the same reason that he promised

(at that town hall meeting) that he would not run for the vice-
presidency: he is a liar! Two weeks after making that promise to his
constituents at Hume Fogg Magnet School, he formally announced
his candidacy for the vice-presidency of the United States.
This story‘s primary purpose was to demonstrate the hypocri-
sy—both civic and religious—of Al Gore. He is a liar and a fraud; I
hope there is a hell for him to be sentenced to. Secondarily, if I can‘t
trust him with the truth regarding his stance on the importance of
fatherhood and family, how can I trust him with the threat of Global
Warming? I know the overwhelming evidence he‘s presented, but I
have to remind myself that Al Gore presented it!
Christians will puff out their chests far and wide—proclaiming
that family values are the exclusive domain (and primary concern) of
Christians. They fail to cite, however, that the person for whom their
faith in God is based, however, was a deadbeat dad. They will accept
that Abraham was willing to murder his son in exchange for favor
from Jehovah. Their faith states that plainly; it is the basis of their
faith.
What they will fail to mention, without exception, was that
Abraham refused to acknowledge his first son, Ishmael, and his
surrogate-wife, Hagar. In the fashion of a made-for-television, Life-
time movie, Abraham chose the wishes of his ―sister-wife‖ Sarah and
their son (his second) over the paternal obligations of love and
financial support to Hagar and his first son.127
Christian apologists will state that it was God who did not ac-
cept Ishmael; therefore, he was illegitimate. Guess what, little bible-
thumper? Even the civil and criminal laws of morally depraved
America demand that minor and dependent children receive support,
healthcare, and visitation at the hands of the non-custodial and/or
absentee parent. Children who are illegitimate or living without one of
their biological parents are still to be protected from abuse and
neglect, and are required to receive financial support. Once again the
evidence is clear that we mere humans are more moral and just than
Abraham and his actions.
* * *
Please be forewarned that there are several righteous things

that neither politicians nor Christians will perform. For instance, they
will not impose a Baptist-sanctioned boycott of chain or franchise
127
Genesis 21:9–21
98
restaurants that serve alcohol, even though take numerous (and

erroneous) stances against alcohol consumption and service.128
Further, they will gleefully impose boycotts against Walt Disney
Company for having a homosexual character portrayed on a TV show
or movie, but not against the restaurants in question. 129
Hypocrisy!
Further, when cornered on their civic duty of protesting at
abortion clinics or a liberal politician's stance on a forward-moving
piece of legislation, they will not lobby/petition their legislature for
laws that‘d make divorces more difficult to obtain. Nor ones to restrict
the official causes of divorce to include adultery solely; thus removing
the no-fault and irreconcilable differences categories when filing for
divorce. According to Baptists, Isn‘t divorce the most atrocious sin, 130
second only to nudity?
For example, if Nevada can legalize prostitution, and if states
can legalize medical marijuana, and since most states now allow for
gaming-gambling, and if county or city jurisdictions can legislate
limited drinking hours, etc., then why can't good Christian folk who
love their paid-for politicians and picket signs pass this law?
Wouldn't couples be more hesitant to get married willy-nilly, or
procreate at-will, if there was not such a difficulty to get out of it?
Wouldn't children benefit?
And while we're on the subject, how about petitioning for
stricter laws to enforce visitation, and noncustodial say-so in the
rearing of children? Lastly, another thing that should be amended,
though on a personal-social level, is the removal of the term single
parent. Unless parthenogenesis131 has taken place, there is no such
thing as a single parent!
Rant concluded.
* * *
The Republican Party132 fancies itself on having America‘s
right-wing, god-fearing conservatives on its side. They will spout
128
pp. 64–73
129
p. 95
130
pp. 103–104
131
Virgin birth
132
I am not an advocate of any political party! All politicians are liars and thieves—bar
none!
99
platitudes and butcher scripture about a person‘s right to life. With

the exception of death row inmates, right-wing conservatives will fight
tooth and nail to keep a person alive from the cradle to the grave.
Helping said person obtain and maintain a decent quality of life in
between the womb and the tomb, however, is of no concern to Repub-
licans or Christians—scribes or Pharisees.
In support of this assertion is the infamous Terri Schiavo
case.133 In 2005 a St. Petersburg, Florida resident named Theresa
Marie ―Terri‖ Schiavo had been in a persistent vegetative state (PVS)
for fifteen years. Her husband, Michael Schiavo, determined that her
quality of life was nil. Physicians, surgeons, and neurological special-
ists, alike, each determined that any possibility of recovery was
impossible.
Her birth family felt otherwise. They were devout Catholics.
For nearly six years, they argued on her behalf that Terri, who also
was a devout Catholic, would never have accepted euthanasia, i.e.,
the removal of her feeding tube. Her husband presented several
witnesses (some of whom were friends of the opposing camp) who
attested that she had mentioned that she ―never wanted to be kept
alive by a machine.‖
―By March 2005, the legal history around the Schiavo

case included fourteen appeals, and numerous mo-
tions, petitions and hearings in the Florida courts; five
suits in the Federal District Court; five suits in the
Federal District Court; Florida legislation struck down
by the Supreme Court of Florida; a subpoena by a
congressional committee to qualify Schiavo for witness
protection; federal legislation (Palm Sunday Compro-
mise); and four denials of certiorari from the Supreme
Court of the United States.
―She died at a Pinellas Park hospice on March
31, 2005, at the age of 41. Some have since main-
tained that her death constituted ‗judicial murder.‘‖134
Throughout the six-year court case, the courts concurred that
Terri‘s verbal wishes outweighed the fact the there was no enforceable
Living Will available. Even her family‘s pleas from the religious debate
were overruled. Timing is everything, however, because it was when
133
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Terri_Schiavo
134
Felos, George J., Esq. ―RESPONDENT MICHAEL SCHIAVO‘S OPPOSITION TO
APPLICATION FOR INJUNCTION,‖ Case No. 04A-825, March 24, 2005 link p. 9
100
election time rolled around again that Florida Governor Jeb Bush and
the US Congress become involved. Yes, only when the election cycle
came around did the pretense of religious rights become invoked. Of
course, the big boys got involved. Right-wing, Republican Christians
took to the news media, the senate floor, and the courtrooms to stay
her husband from pulling the plug, i.e., to remove her feeding tube.
Senator Bill Frist, a world-renowned heart specialist, took the
Schiavo matter from the senate floor to the pulpit. He proudly put his
professional (medical) reputation on the line by stating that Terri
Schiavo was adequately conscious, had motor body skills that were
evident, and possessed almost 100% cognitive, brainwave activity. He
said that ―someday‖ it was probable that she would make ―a full
recovery.‖ He gave her grieving parents false hope; he led them to feel
that her death was not imminent; that removing her feeding tube was
murder.
According to her autopsy, Dr. Jon Thogmartin recorded:
―…that Terri had extensive brain damage…the brain

itself weighed only half of that expected for a healthy
female for her age, height and weight…an effect caused
by the loss of a massive amount of neurons. Micro-
scopic examination revealed extensive damage to near-
ly all brain regions, including the cerebral cortex, the
thalami, the basal ganglia, the hippocampus, the cere-
bellum and the midbrain…There was marked damage
to important relay circuits deep in the brain (the tha-
lami)…the damage was irreversible, and no amount of
therapy or treatment would have regenerated the mas-
sive loss of neurons.‖
I regrettably mention the above-cited information to establish

that Bill Frist, a senator and a doctor, willingly lied to her pitiful
parents, and the nation. What was the purpose of his venom-filled
lies and empty-promises of false hope? The same as his fellow born-
again contemporaries and constituents: politics and religion. Religion
and politics. Those two are bedfellows that have corrupted and
damned the entire world. Senator (and doctor) Bill Frist was willing to
lie to her parents and the nation; he was willing to waste congres-
sional time and taxpayer-money for mere political gains in order to
appease his right to life financial supporters. What else might he
willingly lie about?
Terri Schiavo died of starvation shortly after her feeding tube
was removed. Even though she might‘ve been a devout Catholic, she
still made mention to several friends and family members that she
101
preferred euthanasia to suffering and a diminished quality of life.

Religiously excitable political leaders threw her wishes to the side—
they cared not. All that mattered to them were pandering and
grandstanding to their morally superior donor base.
Seemingly, no one ever asked how pretty Terri Schiavo came
to be in a persistent vegetative state. Ironically, she had starved
herself. Terri had a history of obesity that began in her elementary
school years; it haunted her till the day she collapsed. Hypocritically,
the right-wing, morally repugnant, religious-elite failed to ever
mention her eating disorder. She died the way she wanted; the way
only she would have it—by starvation.
Having mentioned the plight of Terri Schiavo, along with the
great lengths to which Christians will go to preserve life, one has to
ask where they get their source material. These same people will go to
abortion clinic parking lots and plant bombs in people‘s cars, but
they will be the first ones at the front of the lines to push a death row
inmate into the pits of hell.
What they have failed to do, however, (once again) is to read
their bibles. The bible plainly states that it takes two witnesses to put
a man to death. Yes, that‘s correct. Even though Jehovah appears
bloodthirsty at every turn, he still made it an empirical command
that before a man could be put to death (or found guilty of anything,
for that matter), he must be convicted by two persons giving two
accounts of eyewitness testimony! Circumstantial evidence is not
admissible in God‘s courtroom! Since the advent of DNA evidence,
how many times have death row inmates been released from prison—
completely exonerated? The accounts are too numerous and cumber-
some to list herein. Yes, Jehovah knew better!
As stated, rapists, murderers, bank robbers, kidnappers, and
child molesters have been exonerated due to newly-available DNA
evidence. Almost every single time—yes, almost every single time—
after court transcripts and police evidence have been reviewed, each
individual person was wrongfully accused and wrongfully prosecuted
knowingly! That‘s right! Almost every defendant‘s file held exculpato-
ry evidence that clearly demonstrated the defendants were innocent.
The Ten Commandments that every one of those police offic-
ers, prosecuting attorneys, and judges demand to be displayed
prominently throughout jails and courthouses contain at least two
that they‘ve broken: ―thou shalt not bear false witness‖ and ―thou
shalt not murder.‖ Ironically, the same people who demand that
those prohibitions be prominently placed are the ones who need to
read them the most—not the accused!
Atheists and certain advocates for the separation of church
and state rightly demand that the Ten Commandments be removed
from courthouses in attempts to not overly-burden defendants with
102
biblical laws and statutes. However, it‘s those same commandments

that would have freed the wrongfully accused defendants, had they
been followed.
* * *
Every time we begin an election cycle I am equally amazed

and nauseated. The trite rhetoric becomes more insipid and intense
each time. Christians are the worst, but are not the only culprits in
the exchanges. Accusations, mudslinging, morality—it never seems to
end. Republicans will set their Christian agenda; resultantly, the rest
of the country plays tug of war with nonsensical, non-issues. Gay
marriage? Of course, gays and lesbians should be allowed to marry.
Abortion? Though appalling, that issue has already been decided by
the US Supreme Court.
The real issues are those whom no candidate will talk about
during the campaign trail and the debate lectern. Republicans will
spout platitudes of religious values and social morality. Democrats
will espouse social issues that are never pertinent to the success of
this country or its citizens. Both parties hurl insult and innuendo—
attempting to charge up the donor base. That‘s the key term in any
election: ―donor base.‖
What they don‘t teach in high school civics classes is that
candidates are chosen for one reason: fund raising. Each political
party‘s leaders decide who will win the nomination of their respective
party; and it‘s all based on who can raise the most money for the
party! Those are the candidates that receive (via support from the
respective political parties) never-ending media attention and cam-
paign-debate recognition.
Let‘s assume that Candidate A is the best-qualified candidate.
He‘s articulate, and he votes appropriately for the success of the
country and his fellow citizens. He has no criminal history. The
electorate loves him! His record in his previous, lower offices was
immaculate. Also, he emphatically refuses to accept corporate contri-
butions. Guess what? He will not receive either party‘s support;
hence, no nomination. Why not? Without tainted, corporate money
he cannot raise enough money for his political party. Sadly, our
elected officials are winners of fund raising campaigns and popularity
contests. He who is the most popular with criminal corporations wins
the contest!
Incidentally, if one‘s favored candidate loses an election, do
not mourn for him; he will become employed immediately by one of
the thousands of K Street lobbying groups. He will actually spend
more time in the house or on the senate floor as a lobbyist than he
ever dared as an elected official. Why? Because his new job is to
103
influence those he‘s worked alongside and to buy their votes for his
lobbyist employer. When the next election cycle or two comes around,
he will throw his hat back into the ring. If elected, he will spend less
time in his official office and more time with his former K Street
employer—ensuring that his wallet is being filled and their interests
are reflected in his legislation.
Though politically active readers will attempt to debunk the
assertions within this chapter, Aesop once mused,
―Why is it that we hang the petty criminal, but elect

the great ones?‖135
Apparently, (and regrettably) corporate criminals and corpo-

rate-controlled governments are nothing new. Imagine the vast
amounts of money that‘s collected by each candidate and political
party during the normal election cycle. From gray-haired dowagers to
giant corporations, over two trillion dollars ($2,000,000,000,000) is
donated to political parties and campaigns every year in America.
Said total does not include the federally mandated matching funds
entitlement. (It‘s ironic that millionaire candidates are allowed to
receive millions of dollars for campaign funds from the federal gov-
ernment, but a waiter or bartender cannot receive federally mandated
FEMA assistance after a category-five hurricane!) Now, imagine if that
money was spent, say, I don‘t know—on housing and feeding the
poor, education, job training, medical insurance or healthcare needs,
legal aid—maybe then we wouldn‘t be so quick to listen to the empty-
promises and false campaign pledges of millionaire, corporate-
criminal politicians.
Of course, politicians are not the only ones who espouse the
haves and have-nots dichotomy of religious piety. The reader might
recall the great debate of 2008 when President Obama fought tooth
and nail for a passage of health insurance for most Americans. When
my wife and I first heard of the president‘s intentions, we thought
surely that both houses of congress would pass said legislation with
the swiftest pen strokes in history.
We were wrong.
Instead, the people who already receive government issued or
subsidized health insurance fought the hardest against such passage
for others. One Medicare recipient in particular took to the airwaves,
and declared that she did not want the government to be involved
with Medicare! (Get it?) Churches as a whole instructed their congre-
gations to telephone their respective congressmen to dissuade
135
circa 600 BCE
104
passage of the bill in any form. It was just one more instance of
hypocritical Christians, crooked politicians, and criminal corpora-
tions not following God‘s law; refusing to help the poor, the orphan,
the widow, and the stranger.
Think about it for a moment: How can politicians who will re-
ceive health insurance benefits for life at the country‘s expense tell
me and my late wife that we are not entitled to the same or similar
healthcare treatment simply because we work for a living, but do not
earn enough to afford insurance? I submit the same question to
those citizens who receive Medicare and Medicaid for life at the
country‘s expense? Why are you entitled to government-subsidized
healthcare, yet we are not? People such as those mentioned herein—
politicians and Christians—make me wish daily that Hell actually
existed! The hypocrisy of it all!
As mentioned previously, when the next election cycle com-
mences, pay particular attention to the social and moral issues that
are presented at the debates and during political pundits‘ talk shows.
One might write a list of the hot-button issues presented. Disregard
them! Disregard them all! They do not matter. They are an intentional
distraction. They are a construct to keep the voting pool unaware of
the larger issues—the real issues. When reading a newspaper, refuse
to read the fluff regarding candidates and their stances on hot-button
topics. Instead, read the articles about situations and conditions that
are present, but underreported, by media outlets. That‘s where the
reader will attain the most information about the true condition of
her society.
Immigration?
―Yes, those dark-skinned, illegal immigrants are crossing the
borders at breakneck speed. They threaten to take our jobs, they are
going to bankrupt our social infrastructure and state-held assets.
They are given driver‘s licenses, free education, healthcare, and lines
of credit; yet they refuse to learn English!‖
The truth of the matter is that, in my experience, white immi-
grants have been the ones to cause the most damage (if any real
damage can occur). I have been denied several jobs because Irish,
Australian, and Canadian immigrants, without legal, permanent
status, have been employed at various restaurants and bars where
I‘ve too have applied. They are the ones without documentation but
still seem to get financial aid for college admissions, whereas, I
cannot. They are the ones who receive large credit limits and access
to housing and transportation vouchers, whereas I cannot. They are
the ones who receive food stamps, Medicaid, and have full use of our
social service entitlements, whereas, I cannot. Why? Because they
blend in visually and they speak the language.
105
Since illegal dark-skinned immigration is such a taboo topic

and political issue for right-wing, conservative Christians, let‘s see
what their god, Jehovah, has to say on the subject. It might surprise
many that Jehovah was sympathetic to the plight of illegal immi-
grants. He demanded that the Hebrew people treat them respectfully!
He demanded kindness and altruism, regarding them. He dictated an
empirical command stating that his chosen people, the Hebrews,
should remember that they too were once strangers in a strange land;
that they should treat aliens, foreigners, and sojourners with equality
and compassion.136 But born-again Christians know nothing of this
empirical command; they refuse to read their bibles unless they want
to condemn someone.
Gay marriage and homosexuality?
As we watch the hot-button issues of the right-wing agenda
during the past four election cycles, we see Christian hypocrisy in full
force. Conservative, fundamentalist preachers with nationwide
political steam and right-wing family values candidates vehemently
declared their opposition to homosexual marriage, denounced Protes-
tant denominations that allowed homosexual and lesbian members to
become clergy, and fought their hardest to prevent legislation that
would allow gay couples to marry or to adopt children. The topic of
homosexuality was all the rage. The re-election of President George
W. Bush was attributed to the fact that born-again Christians turned
out to the voting booths en masse because of the gay marriage issue.
The hot-button, Christian issues were successful; the nation
was deceived and Bush won again. Had it not been for the gay
marriage issue, he probably would have lost the election; even
national security and the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan were not
enough to sway the voters to turn out. Gay marriage and adoption
were.
Immediately after the election, the same loudmouthed, hate-
ful, Jesus-dishonoring Christians who fought the hardest against the
issues and ballot initiatives were outed one by one—their homosexual
escapades became exposed. Male prostitutes (some underage) and
crystal-meth use were divulged, as well. One by one, they were forced
out of their closets and pulled from their pulpits…for a while.
Three popular ones were: Pastor Ted Haggard, who likes un-
derage, meth-crazed, male prostitutes; Senator Larry Craig, the
notorious restroom stall foot-tapper; Alabama State Attorney General
Troy King, who had a record of fighting obscenity, gambling, and
other sinful activities. He was successful in outlawing the sale,
136
Exodus 22:21, Exodus 23:9, Deuteronomy 24:17 & 18, Deuteronomy 27:19
106
possession, and use of sex toys throughout the state of Alabama. He

is a Baptist and a staunch-Republican. His wife caught him during
coitus with a student stud-muffin from Troy State University.
Of course, the all-time king of sexual hypocrisy goes to TV
preacher and pension-swindler Jimmy Swaggart. Jimmy likes to get
laid by skanky streetwalkers while looking at Swank magazine.
My favorite piece of public-interest hypocrisy comes not from
the religious-sexual world but from the legal community. Jane
Radostits—veteran DuPage County prosecutor—was such a success
as a DUI prosecutor that she was nicknamed ―the DUI Queen‖.137 On
May 11, 2007, Radostits was drove drunk during office hours in her
county-issued vehicle. She had a blood-alcohol level three times the
legal limit (0.25 bac) when she died after a head-on crash.
Beware: when someone hides behind their doctrine, they are
just trying to hide from their own sin. It is now no secret that the ones
who‘d fought the hardest against gay rights were closeted gays
themselves. Nevertheless, in true Christian fashion, their congrega-
tions and constituents did for them exactly what they‘d adamantly
refused to do for others—they forgave them, supported them finan-
cially, and allowed them to return to their pulpits, public offices, and
private sector positions.
Though the above seems at first sight as if it might‘ve been a
step forward in the right direction, it was not. Intolerance still excels
regarding homosexuality and aberrant straight sex. ―Hate the sin and
not the sinner‖ makes for good PR, but hatred of homosexuals seems
only to have increased since these events. However, because of their
positions, the ones who were the most hypocritical (having been
exposed) seem to have become insulated and protected—solely due to
their high-level positions and name recognition. However, the lone
gay or lesbian cannot be accepted by Christian churches unless they
repent, shame themselves publicly, and admit ―guilt and grievous
sins.‖ None of this, however, was asked of those in leadership posi-
tions.
It is pertinent to make mention of the fact that when a poten-
tial convert races down the salvation aisle at the local Protestant
church, he is asked about general repentance; he is not required to
make mention of specific sins. Those admissions are reserved for
Catholic confessionals. The exception within the Protestant churches,
however, is reserved for the most heinous of crimes against God, i.e.,
homosexuality and anything to do with nudity. Murderers, wife-
137
DuPage County, IL is said to be the DUI capital of the nation.
107
beaters, and corporate criminals are welcomed with opened arms;

homosexuals and strippers have to work for it.
With those conditions, it is apparent that tolerance and social
acceptance are traits that remain far-removed from members of
Christianity. Jesus, however, gave no admonition against homosex-
uals, nudity, or sex workers. The reader might recall a curious event
that took place on the night Jesus was arrested in the Garden of
Gethsemane. According to the biblical account, a young, naked man
ran from the garden when Judas and the Roman guards ap-
proached.138 This is a critical point: The young man—a male prosti-
tute—was not rebuked by Jesus. He was fearful only of the civil
authorities!139 Hence, Jesus did not hire the man‘s services, but he
surely did not take offense with him either.
Another instance of the homophobia of Christendom was the
infamous Walt Disney Boycott that was instituted by the Southern
Baptist Convention. In essence, the SBC spent hundreds of thou-
sands of dollars to promote the boycott and to educate the church on
the evils of being ―a harbinger of homosexuals.‖ SBC leaders claimed
that The Walt Disney Company had committed grievous sins against
―God and humanity‖ by sponsoring television shows and movies that
depicted homosexuality, and deemed it acceptable. They thought they
could bully Disney with their boycott; that the threat of losing Chris-
tian dollars would suffice. It did not. Disney was never adversely
affected by the negative press or supposed loss of revenue.
The irony is that the Southern Baptist Convention did not in-
stitute any boycott or education campaign against Disney for produc-
ing entertainment that depicts witchcraft or demonolatry. Aren‘t
those offenses listed in the bible? Don‘t such offenses require the
death penalty, too? Aladdin, Bed Knobs and Broomstick, Beauty and
the Beast…the list could continue, ad infinitum. Apparently, a movie
with a mystical, magical theme like paganism, sorcery, or witchcraft
is not an immediate concern for the lost souls of the world; two men
kissing, is!
Hypocrisy!
Regardless of the above assertions, (and never having read his
bible) a Christian fundamentalist will campaign fiercely against any
138
Admittedly, there are other possibilities as to the male‘s character, vocation, etc.
However, it seems to fit, regardless of some very good arguments by apologists that I
am wrong in my assumption. In the modern-day, every city in America has a continu-
ing problem that no in authority seems to know how to quash: after-hours homosexual
activity in city parks. It appears as this is not a new phenomenon in Western society.
139
Mark 14:48–52
108
candidate who has the mere appearance of being either homosexual

or a supporter of gay rights. He will preach hellfire and brimstone
against homosexual behavior. He will scoff at the thought of certain
Protestant denominations that allow homosexuals into their congre-
gations, much less their leadership roles. He will assuredly cite the
Sodom and Gomorrah story from the book of Genesis, declaring
vehemently that God destroyed those wicked cities because of homo-
sexuality.
Said Christian fundamentalist fails to recognize, however, that
God did not destroy Sodom and Gomorrah because of homosexuality;
he destroyed both cities because ―ten righteous people could not be
found in either city.‖140 Remember, according to Christians, sodomy
is a sin; throwing virgin daughters to the crowd for gang rape and
murder is okay for them. What exactly made Sodom and Gomorrah
so unrighteous?
―Behold, this was the iniquity of thy sister Sodom,

pride, fullness of bread, and abundance of idleness
was in her and in her daughters, neither did she
strengthen the hand of the poor and needy. And they
were haughty, and committed abomination before me:
therefore I took them away as I saw good.‖141
Confused with logic, he will assuredly cite that homosexuality

is not only a sin, but an abomination to the god of the bible. He will
further boast that it was a sin that demanded the death penalty.
What he will not mention, however, is that adultery was considered
as much of a sin as was homosexuality and that it required the death
penalty, too.
Though divorce is direly frowned upon by the Christian
church, born-again Christians fail to mention that Jesus spoke
sternly of adultery and declared that it was the only excuse for
divorce. Not domestic violence; not child molestation; but adultery
solely. Paul contradicts Jesus‘ edict by stating that no man should be
married to a ―warring‖ woman, i.e., a bitch. Parenthetically, this is
one of the few instances where I support Paul in his discourse.
Divorce is so appalling to born-again, fundamentalist Chris-
tians that one cannot become a formal leader (receiving payroll and
benefits) of a church if one is divorced, unless said minister can prove
140
Genesis 18:32
141
Ezekiel 16:49
109
(through secular, civil court documents) that adultery was committed

against him and was the primary cause cited in the divorce decree.
Voluntary positions, e.g., Sunday school teacher, librarian, coach,
instructor, are also nearly impossible to attain if one is divorced.
Tithing, a clean background check, and a broken and contrite heart142
will not suffice. As a matter of fact, divorce is so frowned upon by
Baptists that the vetting process for admission at The New Orleans
Baptist Theological Seminary has an entire section dedicated to
questions about marriage, divorce, separation, and annulment. There
is no questionnaire section, however, for criminal acts. 143
With divorce rates higher than the national average and
climbing each year, Southern Baptist churches have adopted a
nondenominational program for those within the church who are
divorced. The program is called DivorceCare. The program is reserved
for church members, exclusively. The unspoken reasons for support
of the DivorceCare ministries are money, fear, and pride.144 Yes, in
that order. The rate of divorce for Protestant church members an-
nually exceeds that of the secular nation. Many detractors of the faith
have queried that if being born again brings about changed lives, why
don‘t those supposed changed lives reflect the marriage bed; and why
aren‘t Christians immune?
Secondly, with the high percentage of Christians being di-
vorced every year, each being faithful members of their churches, the
offenders would have to be removed from their leadership posts. That
means financial boards, deacon boards, fundraisers, and in-house
service positions would be vacated at a rate commiserate with the
divorce rate, being 56% or greater annually. Likewise, if those adul-
terous divorcees were removed from their leadership roles, the
offenders and their relatives (tithe-giving congregants) would leave for
more welcoming denominations. Hence, donations and tithes would
142
Psalm 51:17 and Isaiah 66:2
143
https://selfserve.nobts.edu//Admissions/Application.aspx?applicationformid=1
144
An excerpt from an e-mail sent to me from DivorceCare offices, ―Although Steve
[Grissom, founder] is a Southern Baptist, he tried to make DivorceCare as non-
denominational as possible. He wanted all denominations to be able to use it. We do
have almost every denomination represented in our list of churches (some 12,000).
However we have more Baptist churches than any other denomination. It was not
started by the Southern Baptist Convention, but they have tried to buy it on a couple
of occasions."
I have to wonder why the SBC wants to buy the DivorceCare program so badly. Do
they want to change it, eliminate it, or profit by it? It has to be one of the three!
110
dwindle. As equally important to them, membership rolls would

decrease. We can’t have that! So, they deem it better to relax their
zealous stance (and Jesus‘ mandates) for the prospects of earning
potential and statistical pride.
Hypocrisy! Adultery and divorce, now ―okay.‖ Homosexuality,
still not okay. Remember, according to Jehovah-God, all three
offenses drew the death penalty! If one is excusable, so are the
others!
111
Feed the Shepherd, Starve the Flock
―The big majority of Americans, who are comparatively well off, have
developed an ability to have enclaves of people living in the greatest
misery without almost noticing them.‖
~ Gunnar Myrdal
Most pastors of small- to medium-sized churches, when cor-

nered about their pay and benefits packages, will state that he only
makes around $30,000 to $70,000 a year. (The pastors of larger
churches and televised churches usually receive base salaries in the
hundreds of thousands a year.) Whether his salary is higher or lower
(almost always it‘s higher—much higher!) he will not address the
specifics of his pay and benefits package. He will also neglect to
inform the questioner that his salary is often offset into expense
accounts and parsonage benefits so that he will receive a lower in-
come tax rate.
Render therefore to Caesar the things that are Cae-

sar‘s, and to God the things that are God‘s. 145
In essence, he will reject that which Jesus mandated and the

federal government requires. When pressed, his answers will assu-
redly reject that he (or the deacons) has done anything wrong; that
juggling numbers is permissible, according to the tax rules that
apply.
Most pastors receive a housing allowance or an outright par-
sonage. They do not have to pay for rent, utilities, property taxes,
insurance, etc. He will not receive a salary only; he will also receive
medical and life insurance, and a complete retirement package.
According to Brother Rod, pastors are usually exempt from federal
Social Security contributions; because as a pastor, the church either
makes 100% of the contribution, or he is waived from it entirely.
He will also neglect to be candid because, after all, those mat-
ters were addressed at a previous business meeting and presented
before the church. He will fail to admit, however conveniently, that
the delicate nuances of all the tax moves and outright benefits were
masterminded behind closed doors during a deacons‘ meeting. The
145
Matthew 22:21
announcement to which he refers is usually nothing more than the

dollar amount for base salary, while the entire benefits package is
congealed into a line or two, i.e., fine print, for the congregation‘s
scrutiny. There’s only so much space on those church bulletins!
The reasoning for all of those benefits is to ensure that the
pastor‘s mind is free from mundane worries so that he can remain
ever-present for the needs of his flock. The irony is that he is usually
the stingiest of the lot. When a need is recognized that touches his
heart, he will go to the deacon board and the congregation for contri-
butions; he will rarely dip into his own pockets. The greater irony (or
hypocrisy) comes when there are those within the church or near the
church grounds who have none of the benefits that he so easily
receives. He might direct someone else to make a bologna sandwich
for a homeless man who sits on the church steps, but he will not give
him a twenty-dollar bill or take him to lunch himself.
Hypocrisy!146
Don’t these people ever read about Jesus when they attend
seminaries?
* * *
After having read thus far, I can sense the reader‘s protests.
―But some churches do great things for the poor and the less
fortunate!‖
Well, as an example, let‘s look at some famous ministries that
appear to be doing just that—taking care of the poor and the less
fortunate. Then, we‘ll examine some individual churches and their
ministries.
* * *
In the late-1990s, I was on a quest to find human fellowship. I

wasn‘t afforded any friends from any of the church‘s I‘d attended and
I needed to be around people very, very badly. I couldn‘t afford to go
to bars or join a health club, so when not at church, I attended
Alcoholics Anonymous meetings. At an A.A. clubhouse called Wood-
bine, I met an exceptional lady named Janice who had an intriguing
146
Reverend Jim Brown has made an astute observation about preachers and
retirement. He asked once why pastors will retire after serving for only 20 years. Of
course, they receive a full pension and benefits after retiring. He also stated that he
actually loved preaching God‘s word; he cannot figure out why so many pastors retire.
He‘d ask, ―How can you get tired of talking about God?‖ He suggests they are in it
only for the money and the benefits. I concur.
114
sobriety story. By her testimony, she was a former biker groupie and
heroin supplier. Since she had attended a court ordered, rehab
program six years prior, Janice was sober and a Christian. (Dating
bells went off in my head almost immediately. It was too bad that she
didn‘t hear them, as well.)
I approached her after an hour of listening to the usual lame-
ass A.A. people recite platitudes and make very veiled attempts to
appear as something they were not—normal, well-adjusted people.
Substitute A.A. lingo with Christian-ease and I could easily have been
sitting in a Baptist Sunday school class.
Janice and I talked awhile about A.A.—determining amongst
ourselves that most of the people who attended the meetings were full
of shit and were in the right place amongst one another. For some
reason I held her attention and she seemed genuinely warm with me.
When asked what I did for a living, I told her that I was underem-
ployed at a temp agency, but that I had interviewed with a ministry—
Feed the Children—and that I was scheduled for a second interview
the next day.
―Oh, Feed the Children,‖ she lit up. ―Is that the same one on
television with Larry Jones?‖
―Yes, one and the same. I didn‘t know that they had a ware-
house in Nashville, but it‘s practically in my own backyard. I‘ve been
praying for something exactly like this for two years!‖
She proceeded to tell me about her ministry service within a
big Baptist church three years prior. According to her, she started off
by telephoning local food processing companies, distributors, adver-
tising agencies, etc. She then collected their donations and took the
food and clothing to city parks and other places generally too unsafe
for her, i.e., underneath highway bridges and overpasses, all by
herself. She became overwhelmed with the huge donations she‘d
procured, and was continually in fear for her safety. Naturally, she
asked her church if they‘d help her. She asked for permission to use
the church‘s van for pickups and deliveries when needed, for a
storage space in the church basement to house and inventory the
donations, and for some volunteers to go with her, for expedience and
protection. Without consideration, all of her requests to her church
were denied.
Over time, her influence greatly affected the local poor and
homeless and she gained quite a reputation with them. Janice
became known as the Praise the Lord Lady by those she‘d helped. By
habit, she explained, they were reclusive, because it was a dangerous
life to live underneath a bridge or behind a tree in a city park. But
when they heard her announce “Praise the Lord!” they knew it was
safe—knowing it was her—and would then come out of hiding.
115
The local news caught wind of her story and played it up on

their broadcasts a time or two. After mentioning that she had no
church affiliate help, her big Baptist church leaders got together and
offered her all of the requests she‘d initially sought, save one—she
could not have church volunteers.147 As a result, she was allowed to
better organize and to have help with inventory and with distribu-
tion—giving her more time for donation procurement. Due to the help
she received via the news broadcasts, her inventory quickly reached
its maximum in the church basement. When the deacons and pas-
tors of the big Baptist church got credit and frequent mention on the
news for their ministry, they were elated. In the pulpit the preacher
bragged about their ministry and how they were serving the commu-
nity for the Lord Jesus Christ.
She attempted to use the church kitchen for serving hot
meals to the poor and homeless, but church leaders wouldn‘t go
along with the idea. The deacons told her that they didn‘t want that
kind of people inside the church. As a result, she concentrated even
harder on her service ministry to the outside community.
True to form, the church offered no help other than what
she‘d initially asked, and granted that only because of the media
publicity received. The church leaders refused to allow any congre-
gants to volunteer, and they also refused for any of Janice‘s friends to
assist her because ―they were not Christians; they were derelicts from
Alcoholics Anonymous.‖ The church leadership allowed only one
person to help Janice—her teenage daughter.
Fortunately though, word of Janice‘s good works fell again on
the right ears. She was given several financial grants and monetary
donations by corporations, sports teams, and other caring individuals
as a direct result of continued media coverage. Checks for up to
$5,000 came rolling in to Praise the Lord Lady Ministries. The big
Baptist church, who never lifted a finger to help, and who never once
asked what they could do for the homeless (but took all the credit)
took all the money too.
The church leaders called her into the office and told her that
a committee had been formed, and it was determined that ―they were
the proper ones to handle the ministry, effective immediately.‖ They
took control of it, deposited all the checks into the church‘s general
fund and told her to step aside from any further involvement with the
ministry.
147
Ironically, the state motto of Tennessee is: The Volunteer State.
116
At first, Janice felt she had no choice except to acquiesce.

Then, after the thought of their coup d’état, she approached them.
She reminded them that she was the one who‘d founded the ministry,
who woke up at four o‘clock on frost-covered mornings or in the
pouring rain, and ventured out to feed the poor, unfortunates alone!
She further reminded them that she was the one who‘d procured the
donations, both for food and clothing, and monetary, and that she
should not be dismissed as she had.
They did not agree. They further banned her from the church,
and contacted everyone who‘d made any donations, both corporate
and individual. The deacon board and senior pastor informed them
that, in the future, they should make their donations directly to the
church. They further told the secular contributors that Janice was
―no longer affiliated with the church or the ministry‖ and that they
should no longer communicate with her for reasons ―better left
unspoken.‖
I listened to her choppy, choked words as much as I watched
the tears slip down her cheeks. She was broken—by the big Baptist
church. Her ministry and reputation were destroyed, all for the egos
and profit of Baptist preachers and deacons. She said that she has
never since driven atop an overpass or past a city park without the
words ―Praise the Lord‖ choking in her throat.
* * *
Nashville First Assembly of God had a community kitchen

that offered lunch on Thursday of every week, from eleven till one
o‘clock. Brother and Sister Gammon could be seen every Wednesday
afternoon in the church‘s basement and Fellowship Hall. Together
they‘d peel potatoes or chop lettuce, boil cabbage or slice carrots.
They appeared to have a system of serving the local homeless, elderly,
and poor that allotted dignity for those whom might come by to eat.
We plated food for them, and brought the food and drinks to
them while they sat at the tables. We acted as if we were waiters in a
restaurant. That little, extra touch of service allowed them to feel a
little bit better about themselves when they left; as opposed to lining
up at a steam table and hunting for a seat with a tray in their hands.
It was a humbling thought that the extra effort might restore some
minor dignity to those who needed the help. I was more than excited
to become a part of the kitchen ministry.
However, word came to me that another church in the neigh-
borhood had served food for the same unfortunates for several years
also, and on Thursdays as well. I asked a couple of the people who
ate at the church if they knew about the other church‘s kitchen
ministry. I was told that they were aware of it, indeed. They informed
117
me that they ate at Brother Gammon‘s church first, and later went to
the other one. They always went to the other church afterwards,
because they offered food in Styrofoam to-go boxes. They stated to me
that on Thursdays, they could eat twice.
I mentioned all of this to Brother Gammon. I suggested that
we might consider moving our kitchen ministry day to another day of
the week so that the people in the community who needed to be fed
could have two days in the week when they could get hot food.
The answer was a suspicious look and a resounding, ―No!‖
I inquired further. ―I‘ll go to the church across the street since
they have a kitchen they don‘t ever use. If we could get other
churches involved, each serving lunch one day a week, we could
really help these people! Wouldn‘t it be great for these people to have
a hot meal everyday of the week?‖
Again, he said, ―No!‖
He continued, ―Keith, you have to choose which church you‘re
going to belong to.‖
I explained—or rather, defended—myself; that I wanted to
stay where I felt God had placed me, i.e., at his church. I defended
myself further, and declared that wanting to help the homeless
community was not an act of treason, as he‘d suggested.
He‘d have none of it! In fact, he told me that he purposefully
chose Thursday because the other church did it on Thursday, and
that was why he did it the way he did—serving them, instead of them
in line at a steam table or out of a Styrofoam to-go box—because he
wanted ―their loyalty.‖
* * *
It wasn‘t long before I began to attend the big Baptist church

across the street and up the road apiece from Brother Gammon‘s
church. They had a superb kitchen facility inside its Fellowship Hall
building which stood separately from the church‘s main structure.
One day I mentioned to Pastor Rod that we should make use of the
kitchen facility to feed those in the nearby community that needed
help. I stated evenly, having anticipated every negative response, that
I would personally procure the necessary food items. I reminded him
there were many members of the church who were retired senior
citizens. I further mentioned that it would give them something to do
that would be a blessing to others, that they too could eat, and the
entire community would benefit. It sounded like a win-win situation.
Regrettably, the idea fell on deaf ears.
He told me, ―Unless they attend church here, we are not sup-
posed to help them! If we help the unsaved, they will reap the bene-
fits of being a Christian, without actually being a Christian.‖
118
I reminded him of the church‘s new slogan that he himself

had written and placed on the church‘s weekly bulletin: Changing the
community of East Nashville, one life at a time.
He quickly rebuked me, and informed me that he was refer-
ring to ―the saved,‖ not the ―unsaved.‖
The Fellowship Hall continues to stand empty and alone with
cobwebs. It was only used once while I attended the Baptist church—
for a Wednesday night potluck dinner. I was later told it was the first
time in three years that the entire membership role had attended
church. It‘s amazing what a bucket of fried chicken and a slice of
watermelon can get people to do, i.e., actually attend church. I
wonder, if the apostles had offered Kentucky Fried Chicken and
watermelon to their parishioners, how many lives might they have
changed?
* * *
I know, I know. The church you belong to uses its kitchen to

help feed the less fortunate on Thanksgiving and Christmas, right?
Ah, such good people, right?
Wrong!
If a church has the facilities, or the ability, to feed the poor on
either of those two holidays, why the hell don‘t they do it year-round?
People are hungry 365 days a year—not just on two!
I loathe the bawdy, smug arrogance of Christian people!
―I took Little Billy and Aunt Jane down to church this morn-
ing and scooped mashed potatoes when I could‘ve been sitting at
home and watching Little Billy hook up his new combination com-
puter, Nintendo, hi-fi-stereo with surround-sound. But instead, I
took two hours out of my life for people who can‘t sleep indoors at
night. I‘m so precious doing God‘s work! I feel just like a true apos-
tle!‖
Yes, Lady—Judas Iscariot was an apostle, too.
―Well, Judas Iscariot wouldn‘t have sent money to support
Feed the Children!‖ 148
Lady, I was hoping you‘d say that!
* * *
As I‘d mentioned to Janice, I went for my second interview as
warehouse manager at Feed the Children. I met the Assistant Direc-
148
John 12:5–8
119
tor of Operations, Cynthia Hill. I‘d never met a cuter lady. After my
interview with her, she introduced me to the Director of Operations,
Steve, whose last name I cannot recall. As we walked back into her
office, we talked further about benefits and salary. I caught myself
staring at her shapely, round butt when she stood from her desk and
turned to retrieve a manila folder from her filing cabinet. When she
turned around, I darted my eyes away from her butt and onto her
desktop where I noticed the book I Was Wrong, authored by Jim
Bakker of the infamous PTL-scandal. I thought that maybe the book
was a bad omen. But I reasoned that if the guy was repentant, it was
none of my business. I‘d hoped he was truly repentant when I read
the title.
I was told I could begin employment as the new warehouse
manager of the Nashville Distribution Facility the next week. All that
was needed was for Mr. Larry Jones to sign off on my payroll accep-
tance sheet and I could begin.
Finally! A job with a ministry! I was actually going to get paid
for was a job with a ministry! Insurance benefits, two weeks of
vacation-pay a year (I‘d never been able to take a vacation before) and
a $25,000 salary, to start.
Whoopee!
I went directly home and telephoned my mother in Alabama.
She and I both praised and thanked God with such gratitude and
enthusiasm, that there were pockets of time—ranging up to five
minutes each—were we could not understand one another. At long
last God was going to bless me like the bible said he would—like it
said he had to—if I persevered in his word!
Just about the time I started to clear my throat and dry my
eyes, someone knocked on my door. I raised myself from kneeling,
wiped the smudges of snot from my upper lip, and opened the door.
My neighbor said, ―Keith! Quick! Turn on your TV!‖
―Which channel?‖
―Channel Five! Just turn it on!‖
News Channel Five showed video footage of the FTC-Nashville
staff carrying both food and clothing out the front doors. All of
Nashville and I watched as each employee loaded up their personal
automobiles. The video footage showed the same executive, middle
management, and entry-level employees doing the same thing, day,
after day, after day. Even Steve and Cynthia were shown doing so on
an almost daily basis. They carried out cartons of food on two-
wheeled dollies. Cases of Tommy Hilfiger clothes, cases of canned
food items and personal hygiene items filled their trunks, truck beds,
and back seats.
The News Channel Five news team had received a tip from one
of the warehouse‘s temporary employees. The temp employee told the
120
news team that it had happened on a daily basis for over six months.
The news team had videoed the thievery for five days straight. A
scandal had been brewing. It was about to boil over. My dreams—
over!
As a result of the damning media coverage, the home office in
Oklahoma City closed the Nashville facility for an indefinite period,
pending an internal investigation—and some fancy PR work. There
was no longer a job for me to be had.
121
Jesus Christ: Founder of Communism
―We have just enough religion to make us hate, but not enough to
make us love one another.‖
~ Jonathon Swift
Jesus Christ was not an upper-middleclass Republican; nor

was he a patriotic American! Though the preceding statement has
been said halfway jokingly by me many times in the past, truer words
have never been spoken. Consider the words of Jesus as he quotes
from the book of Isaiah:
The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he hath

anointed me to preach the gospel to the poor; he hath
sent me to heal the brokenhearted, to preach deliver-
ance to the captives, and recovering of sight to the
blind, to set at liberty them that are bruised, to preach
the acceptable year of the Lord. 149
Both Isaiah and Jesus slipped in the phrase ―acceptable year

of the Lord‖ but what exactly does that mean? Every preacher I‘ve
ever heard of, save one, has always said it meant The Day of Judg-
ment! Hellfire and brimstone! Gnashing of teeth, burnt flesh….they
always appear to be near orgasm when speaking of God‘s judgments,
don‘t they? Do I even have to mention how wrong they are in their
assumptions? Maybe so.
The Acceptable Year of the Lord is none other than the cyclic-
al year of Jubilee.150 Every fiftieth year—throughout the land of
Israel—all slaves went free; all debts were forgiven; all work ceased
for a whole year; all land and real property was returned to the
original owner (one of the twelve tribes); everyone was brought to an
equal, blank slate. It was a year of celebration, freedom, relaxation. It
was the Sabbath of Sabbaths!
When Jesus quoted this passage of scripture from the book of
Isaiah, every businessman and cleric within earshot grabbed hold of
his purse, then grabbed a rock to stone him. Business owners do not
149
Luke 4:18–19 and Isaiah 61:1–2
150
Leviticus 25
like the year of Jubilee; and though they‘ll never admit it, they do not
like or follow any of the teachings of Jesus, as we will discover
herein. Imagine for a moment if Donald Trump read about the year of
Jubilee in the bible: does the reader think for one moment that he
will surrender all of his stocks, bonds, cash, and other assets to the
poor, his employees, or others whom are less fortunate? Would any
corporate executive do this? No way!
Just as the passages above will attest, there are many things
within the scriptures that modern-day sensitivities cannot communi-
cate or understand. One of them is that we do not understand the
keynote phraseology that denotes Kingdom of God and Kingdom of
Heaven. Though the two are interchangeable, many—if not most—
pastors will preach that Matthew‘s usage, i.e., Kingdom of Heaven, is
a designation belonging to a Jewish mindset, and the other gospels‘
usage, i.e., Kingdom of God were for a Gentile mindset. Further,
preachers and apologists will claim said kingdoms exist in an other-
worldly existence known as Heaven, i.e., the place where God sits on
a throne and angels endlessly bow.
Jesus answered and said unto them, ―Ye do err, not

knowing the scriptures, nor the power of God.‖151
Yes, you guessed it—apologists and preachers are once again

in error. In reality, both phrases can be summed up by our modern-
day colloquialism Heaven on Earth. Rest assured that the kingdom of
God/Heaven is not an afterlife scenario, it is not the Holy Land of
Israel, and it is not a futuristic event that will honor a flag, or consti-
tution, or borders.
And when he was demanded of the Pharisees, when

the kingdom of God should come, he answered them
and said, ―The kingdom of God cometh not with obser-
vation: Neither shall they say, ‗Lo here!‘ or, ‗lo there!‘
for, behold, the kingdom of God is within you.‖ 152
The kingdom spoken of—and looked for—happens (or can

happen) when one minor detail is attended: when the laws of God are
adhered to, as given in Torah. If those laws were applied by each of
us on a daily basis, there would be no homeless problems, no dis-
151
Matthew 22:29
152
Luke 17:20–21
124
ease, no famine, no criminal corporations, no crooked politicians, no

unjust employers….there would surely be, Heaven on Earth!
Of course, this concept is overlooked by apologists and
detractors, alike. Both will cite the following verse:
―Verily I say unto you, There be some standing here,

which shall not taste of death, till they see the Son of
man coming in his kingdom.‖153
Detractors will use the verse as an ―aha!‖ moment to state

that both the gospel account and the life of Jesus are mere fiction.
Apologists will use circular logic as to why Peter, James, et al, all died
before Jesus returned in his glory, or established a millennial king-
dom upon the earth. They do not know, because they doth err by not
knowing the scriptures and by not having common sense.
Never having considered these points before, many will argue
that Jesus did away with the Law and that Paul later deemed the Law
to be a curse. They would be wrong. They (as Jesus warned) have
erred again for not having known the scriptures or the power of God.
As a matter of fact, if the Laws of Torah were followed—if only
figuratively—we would surely have a society of self-examined lives,
and one that is a betterment for all. Though most do not know it, the
entire book of Revelation is (amongst other things) a tool for living a
life that reflects Torah Laws and is supportive of our fellow man. 154
In essence, Jehovah-God‘s social plan for the nation of Israel
was a stripped-down version of communism. Jesus‘ social plan was
the same. In the book of Acts, the plan continued into the Gentile
church.
And all that believed were together, and had all things
common; And sold their possessions and goods, and
parted them to all men, as every man had need. And
they, continuing daily with one accord in the temple,
and breaking bread from house to house, did eat their
meat with gladness and singleness of heart, Praising
God, and having favour with all the people. And the
153
Matthew 16:28
154
The book of Revelation is not a horror story, as most would assume and hope.
Instead, it is an instruction manual for living a self-examined life that benefits others
equally. These and other points regarding the book of Revelation are discussed
thoroughly in the full book Idolater.
125
Lord added to the church daily such as should be

saved.155
The words and had all things in common 156 from verse 44
above is Koine Greek for our word communism.
Neither was there any among them that lacked: for as

many as were possessors of lands or houses sold
them, and brought the prices of the things that were
sold, And laid them down at the apostles' feet: and dis-
tribution was made unto every man according as he
had need. And Joses…a Levite, and of the country of
Cyprus, Having land, sold it, and brought the money,
and laid it at the apostles' feet.157
Communism? The god of the bible wanted communism; god-

less, atheistic communism? How can this be? First off, one should
read the scriptures before becoming an apologist or a debunker. The
Torah screams of communism! One only has to look at the sabbatical
years and the years of Jubilee to understand completely. Then, of
course, there are the laws of gleaning, the sacrificial offerings to the
temple priests, tithing, etc. The Old Testament reeks of communism!
In America, however, during the 1950s and 1960s, corpora-
tions paid for public service broadcasts that promoted capitalism and
offered it as ―good, godly, and American.‖ (Yes, these words were
repeated frequently, to the point of being a mantra, of sorts.) I often
wondered why there was such a campaign to persuade Americans
that capitalism was godly, and communism was ungodly. Simply
stated, in communism, profiteering is not allowed. God would not
allow it; hence, the sabbatical years and the years of Jubilee.
We in America have been brainwashed into thinking opposite
thought. That was the job of the corporate media onslaught and
McCarthyism, and it worked. As soon as preachers began to plant
American flags in churches, and began to dispense voting advice to
the congregations, the Laws of God were to be forever overlooked.
In closing, does the Christian reader actually believe that ca-
pitalism is godly? How can this be? How many corporations ruin
155
Acts 2:42–47
ἅπας κοινός (hap'as koynos) is translated ―As a particle of union: common.‖

156
157
Acts 4:34–37
126
human lives every single day in America? How much profit can be
attained without giving back to the workforce or society at large? A
corporation is defined as: ―reaping individual profits without accept-
ing individual responsibility.‖ Look at what corporations have done to
the health of the planet, the lives of its inhabitants, and the souls of
their employees. Why is it that in America, corporations have more
rights than unborn babies?
Consider the following: Papa John's Pizza is the official pizza
sponsor of the NFL. It spends hundreds of millions of dollars a year
in NFL advertising solely! If that money were donated to clothe,
educate, feed, and house the poor, God's Laws would kick in and the
corporation would see such an increase in revenue that it would
surpass the company‘s wildest advertising promotions from football
advertising and games—ten, twenty, a hundred fold! (Why don‘t they
try it? Challenge them to try it!)
We have all heard the recitation of scripture ―The love of mon-
ey is the root of all evil‖ but how many of us have pondered the
scriptures that surround this famous quotation?
Let as many servants as are under the yoke count

their own masters worthy of all honour, that the name
of God and his doctrine be not blasphemed. And they
that have believing masters, let them not despise
them, because they are brethren; but rather do them
service, because they are faithful and beloved, partak-
ers of the benefit. These things teach and exhort.
If any man teach otherwise, and consent not to
wholesome words, even the words of our Lord Jesus
Christ, and to the doctrine which is according to godli-
ness; He is proud, knowing nothing, but doting about
questions and strifes of words, whereof cometh envy,
strife, railings, evil surmisings, perverse disputings of
men of corrupt minds, and destitute of the truth, sup-
posing that gain is godliness: from such withdraw thy-
self. But godliness with contentment is great gain. For
we brought nothing into this world, and it is certain we
can carry nothing out. And having food and raiment
let us be therewith content. But they that will be rich
fall into temptation and a snare, and into many foolish
and hurtful lusts, which drown men in destruction
and perdition. For the love of money is the root of all
evil: which while some coveted after, they have erred
127
from the faith, and pierced themselves through with

many sorrows.158
The chapter above concludes with:
Charge them that are rich in this world, that they be

not highminded, nor trust in uncertain riches, but in
the living God, who giveth us richly all things to enjoy;
That they do good, that they be rich in good works,
ready to distribute, willing to communicate; Laying up
in store for themselves a good foundation against the
time to come, that they may lay hold on eternal life. 159
As always, we‘ll need to backtrack into the writings of the Old

Testament to decipher this (and all) enigma(s) regarding New Testa-
ment scriptural supposition.160 Readers who are Christians should
come to know that nothing is new with God. If it says it in the New
Testament it has to say it as well in the Old Testament, otherwise any
New Testament saying or doctrine is a counterfeit. (Happy hunting!)
In order to bring this chapter to a close, I must state defini-
tively that if one wants to be or become a Christian or a follower of
Jehovah-God, one cannot be a capitalist, nor can one be patriotic for
America! Capitalism and patriotism are antithetical to God‘s Laws
and mandates. Always have been; always will be.
158
1 Timothy 6:1–10
159
1 Timothy 6:17–19
160
Why are we always told to read the New Testament first, and to disregard the Old
Testament? The New Testament cannot be understood without a firm grasp of the
Old Testament!
128
The After-Church Crowd
"The Christians who are most vocal about their faith

are the ones who least practice it!"
~ Dr. Leo Louis Martello
According to various academic and psychological studies, the

most emotionally stressful and physically deteriorating vocation in
the United States is that of a waiter.161 Other national studies re-
vealed that the only vocation that surpasses police officers, fire
fighters, and military personnel as the worst, most stressful job to
have in America is ―wait staff.‖ On a daily basis, the waiter is placed
between an apathetic kitchen staff that is uncooperative and unfeel-
ing to the unreasonable demands made by restaurant guests. Kitch-
en employees reason that since they make an hourly wage, there‘s no
need to hurry. Further, they suppose (erroneously so) that waiters
earn more than they, so little effort is made to accommodate a
waiter‘s guests. The waiter is further caught with the petty demands
that customers place upon them. Restaurant guests will show
disdain and resentment toward their waiter because the kitchen staff
doesn‘t prepare special-ordered food according to their asinine special
requests. Further, the waiter is held hostage to ill-trained and inex-
perienced male restaurant managers who are more interested in
bedding cutesy, female applicants than in effectively operating a
restaurant. Juxtapose, female managers generally fare just a badly. It
seems they are more interested in emasculating their subordinate,
male employees in attempts to assuage their personal insecurities
and ineptness.
However, the above is not the worst of it; since Christians are
afraid to drink alcohol with their meals after church services, the
heated battle of soft drinks sets up base camp in every dining room
across America on Sunday afternoons. The question begs to be
asked: Is it really such a dilemma to drink Coca-Cola rather than
Pepsi? Or vice-versa? It is not the waiter‘s fault if owners and man-
agement have chosen one product instead of another. I cannot count
the times that restaurant guests have asked that question, and when
the wrong brand is offered, the guest twists in her chair and rolls her
161
Frost, Gavin and Yvonne. The Witch‘s Magical Handbook. Paramus, NJ: Reward
Books, 2000.
eyes, declaring, ―I‘ll just have water with extra lemons! And you‘d
better bring another sugar caddy!‖ She will usually proceed to be a
bitch during the rest of the meal. Invariably, everything that she
orders is on the side, followed by a list of special cooking instructions
and hurdles that Marry Lou Retton couldn‘t maneuver. Of course, the
tip is going to be no more than eight percent, regardless of the hoops
through which waiters are asked to jump. Meanwhile, the waiter‘s
whole section is going down because she has to ask about each and
every ingredient for each and every menu item for the third time.
It‘s amazing how quickly tipped-income can diminish during
a shift because a restaurant doesn‘t offer sweet tea, as well. I have
actually been thrust into arguments as to why a particular restau-
rant didn‘t offer it for guests. Lady, it’s not our fault! So many times
over the years I‘ve wanted to tell someone that if they had that many
special cooking instructions, and have such contempt for the choice
of Coca-Cola versus Pepsi, and you are required to open the little
paper sugar packets and stir the tea glass yourself, maybe you
should eat at home! With your kind, I‘m only earning $2.13 an hour,
because I know just as damn good and well as you that you’re not
going to tip me! And, as is usually the case, you‘re probably going to
complain to the manager about me, alleging that I am somehow
responsible for the kitchen‘s mistakes, and attempt to have me fired!
It‘s no wonder churches don‘t offer meals after their services in their
Fellowship Halls anymore—even your own kind can‘t stand you!
I‘ll ask the reader to understand that I am not the only one
who has complained about born-again Christians who dine in restau-
rants on Sunday afternoons. Your own people are complaining about
you! There‘s an article published by Chick Publications162 which tells
of a born-again Christian named Mary who was a waitress. Her first
day at work in a new restaurant was next-door to the church she
attended. She was excited about getting to see her dear brothers and
sisters in the Lord after church on her first day at her new job. But
Mary quickly noticed that she was the only one who was enthusias-
tic. Her fellow coworkers referred to Sunday as ―Hell Day‖ and it
didn‘t take long into her first shift to determine that they were
correct! Though the customers wore fancy clothes and carried large
bibles, most were rude, demanding, and just outright mean. Worst of
all, their parting tips were often a gospel tract only!
―By their fruits you shall know them,‖ Jesus once said.163
162
A fundamentalist Christian publishing house.
163
Matthew 7:16
130
Let‘s not forget about the kids. I have often wondered if people
allow their kids to act at home as they are allowed to act in restau-
rants. I don‘t hate to be the one to break the news to you, ma‘am, but
you were not the first person to give birth. Nor, are your children the
cutest in the world. Parents will keep a waiter jumping to bring more
and more bread and/or crackers for their little tykes. But they never
eat the bread. No, they simply allow their little shits to sit in high-
chairs and crumble bread into crumbs, and watch apathetically as
they toss it into the air (and at guests at other tables). The after-
church crowd is relentless for covering floors with bread crumbs and
cracker residue. The floors underneath the tables have to be swept or
cleaned by hand after each seating before the table can be reseated
by the hostess. Tipped-income out the window! Courtesy of the after
church crowd!
Of course, nothing is worse than a group of sanctimonious
churchgoers who pray at the table. Why do born-again Christians do
this? They‘ll declare that they‘re thanking God for the food that
they‘re about to receive.164 But I have a question that can no longer
go unanswered:
Did you pray the last time you purchased a grocery cart full of
groceries at your local grocery store? Did you hold up the cashier and
other patrons in line behind you as the food traveled along the black-
rubber conveyor belt? Did you hold hands with your wife and kids
and thank God publicly for his blessings?
Of course not. So then, isn‘t it hypocritical to do so in a res-
taurant? Did you know that you‘re preventing your waiter from
servicing other guests (along with yourself) by doing so? Do you
care?165 Juxtapose, do you care that Jesus—you know, Jesus, the
son of God, whom you just spent two hours talking about—gave an
empirical command that his followers not do as you‘re doing, by
praying in restaurants? Jesus told his disciples that when one prays
in public, he is a hypocrite. 166
164
Consume
165
Certain preachers have caught hold of this discourse because they teach that
praying in restaurants does not equate with the praying in public to which Jesus
scoffed. To assuage their guilt and ineptness in biblical scripture, they attest that the
Pharisees in question would stand so still in public streets that they appeared to be
statues. Further, they‘ll attest that the Pharisees performed some-such yoga ma-
neuvers that were both animated and blasphemous. These are lies! Yes, your
preacher is lying to you if he tells you it is okay to pray in a restaurant!
166
Matthew 6:5–8
131
Hey lady, don‘t get mad at me! Go talk to Jesus! He said it,
not me!
* * *
In 1998–1999, I worked as a waiter/bartender/shift manager

at a Nashville restaurant named Calhoun‘s Restaurant. Pamela Pace
was the bar manager, then general manager. Pamela hated my guts
without a cause. More importantly, Pamela Pace was an evil, deceit-
ful, self-serving manager who‘d been shipped from restaurant to
restaurant within the corporation. She was an embittered woman
who alienated everyone whom she considered competent. She often
reminded me of a literal version of the fictional character Rebecca
Howe from the NBC‘s Cheers. I reserve the word cunt for only the
most extreme, despicable personalities, but cunt is not a strong
enough snarl word to define her. Her only saving grace was that she
would undo herself time and again—proving herself to be the idiot
that she accused others of being.
Pamela Pace‘s most self-serving accolade was that she was
heavy-busted. She probably would have listed that fact on her
resume, should she ever have left the company. I suppose they were
probably triple-Ds, if not larger. She also had the rest of the body
weight necessary to carry them; which is a kind way of stating the
she was fat. Not obese, but fat. Solely because of her gigantic breasts,
Pam believed she was the most beautiful, sexy, desirable woman on
Earth. Pam was quick to profess that everybody wanted her—or
rather, them. But I never met anyone who did want her. Facially, she
could‘ve been cute enough though, had it not been for her shit
personality. I often said that she surely had some very compromising
photographs of some very important people high-up in the company.
Having her in a position of authority, much less as an entry-level
employee, made absolutely no sense to me or anyone else who‘d ever
met her. But remember, I am describing the restaurant business, and
much like Christianity, it is the same from here to there—there is no
in-between. No good places or bad places—only bad.
During one particular evening shift, I worked on the Expo
Line in the kitchen. I turned to hear one waiter after another come
into the Expo Area and complain about the idiot at Table 65 upstairs.
As is common, the language was pretty rough. A moment or two
later, Pam came into the Expo Area; she looked as if she was about to
cry. I will never forget the look on her face; like she‘d just been bitch
slapped—for real—which she would probably have deserved. I never
considered otherwise.
I turned again and saw her with two of the more experienced
waiters. I overheard statements such as:
132
―I just don‘t know...‖

―Is this guy for real?‖
―Why is he so mad, exactly?‖
Nothing was said that was at all uncommon in the restaurant
business, but it seemed to be more serious—focused—than usual.
Pamela caught me eavesdropping.
―Keith,‖ she almost begged and barked at the same time, ―You
have a way with people. Go upstairs and see what this guy‘s problem
is. I think he‘s one of yours.‖
I was actually curious at that point. “I think he’s one of yours.”
What did that mean?
I asked eagerly, ―What guy and what table?‖
Pamela stuttered her reply, ―He‘s this...this man‘s upstairs
raising all hell because we‘ve sold out of pork chops.‖
―What?‖
―There‘s a man upstairs, raising hell to the point I thought he
was going to hit me—over pork chops!‖
I just had to see this character! I took off my apron and
climbed the stairs. I had already pictured in my mind‘s eye what the
jerk was going to look like. I imagined the usual: wife-beater T-shirt,
ball cap atop mullet-hair; probably one of those goatee wearers.
Damn, when I‘m wrong, I’m wrong! To my surprise—no,
shock!—it was Pastor Maury Davis of Cornerstone Church! Though I
did not know him personally, I knew he was a television preacher. I
must confess that I feel nothing but glee in reporting this story. That
evening though, I was sick to my stomach.
When I arrived at the upstairs dining room, he stood next to
four tables that were pulled together to make a thirteen-top. He stood
to the side and apologized to the group of men for the ―behavior of the
restaurant.‖
I approached him and introduced myself.
―I‘m told by the manager that there‘s a problem with you and
your guests? Are you not satisfied with something?‖
I eyed the table. First-round drinks were only then hitting the
table, which meant that whatever had gone horribly wrong had
happened horribly fast.
I‘d thought “Pamela’s done it again!”
Of course, I‘d thought wrong.
―I brought these twelve men in here to have pork chops. You
don‘t have any pork chops. I want them to have pork chops!”
―Sir, please. Let‘s not yell. There are other guests in the res-
taurant. Let‘s walk over here and discuss....‖
He took my arm with his left hand and pointed his meaty fin-
ger in my face with his right. ―I‘m not going to talk to you or to
anybody else! I brought these twelve—these twelve men—in here. We
133
could‘ve gone anywhere; but we came here because I wanted these

men to have pork chops!‖ His voice grew louder with each recitation.
―Sir,‖ I tried to explain, ―the pork chops that you‘re so upset
about are a specialty item and they aren‘t always available. We only
prepare about fifteen orders a day, if they‘re available at all. They
take twenty-four hours to smoke, and it‘s now twenty minutes before
closing time. I‘m sorry, but they‘re simply not available and won‘t be
again until tomorrow evening.‖
I noticed Pam out of the corner of my eye. It was the only time
I can ever remember her to appear timid.
“I want pork chops. I want them to have pork chops.‖
He spoke more and more intensely. His mannerisms were
more determined.
―I want pork chops. I want them to have pork chops. We came
in here for pork chops!”
―Sir, I apologize. But, again, we don’t have enough pork chops
for the entire table.‖
One lone voiced chimed in from the table, ―I really didn‘t want
pork chops.‖
Pastor Maury Davis turned on his heel and leaned into the ta-
ble toward his fellow preacher. He pointed directly at him. “I came in
here for pork chops. And we’re all going to have pork chops!”
―I‘ll prepare any menu item—any menu item—at the same
price as the pork chops, and I‘ll....‖
Pam interjected, ―Keith, I‘ve already told them that I was going
to comp their entire dinner. I told them that before they even placed
their drink orders. They can have anything they want…appetizers,
desserts, anything. It‘s all on the house...‖
Pam was interrupted again.
“What I want,” he literally screamed, “is my pork chop! Me,
them, us....pork chops!”
Then it happened; the very reason why I initially wanted to
pull him to the side. I thought I was going to vomit. One of the
waiters marched over and looked me dead in the eyes, right in front
of Pastor Maury Davis, twelve preachers, Pamela Pace, and the whole
upstairs dining room. Her words I will remember for the rest of my
life.
―Don‘t you ever talk to me again about going to church! This,‖
pointing her thumb toward the pastor, ―is exactly the reason I don‘t
go to church now! We have to put up with these Christians all day
long on Sundays. Now we have to put up with them on Thursday
nights, too?‖
“I want my pork chops! I want my pork chops! I‘m going to call
the owner tomorrow and both of you are going to be fired. I guarantee
it! But tonight we‘re going to have pork chops!‖
134
It was as if he was demanding crack from a dealer who‘d just

ripped him off.
Pastor Maury Davis disregarded completely the waiter‘s accu-
sation. I felt it odd that he didn‘t even flinch. I‘d hoped that once that
was out in the open, he might succumb to a modicum of social grace
or human decency, and simmer down a bit. But no! Not Pastor Maury
Davis! He had reached his boiling point! I thought seriously that he
might have a stroke.
He screamed at the top of his boisterous, overbearing, preach-
er‘s voice, ―I don‘t want either one of you back at this table! This is
my table! My table! These are my guests and you have embarrassed
me—me!”
He patted his sweating palms onto the charcoal grey lapels of
his designer suit. He looked as if he were preaching at Pentecost
when he wiped the sweat from his bald head.
He stood on the balls of his feet when he screamed again,
“You have all embarrassed me!”
As I walked away, I heard the words ―pork chop‖ screamed
continually—over and over—all the way down the staircase. I contin-
ued to the noisy kitchen and back to the Expo Line, but I could still
hear him bellow all the way from upstairs, as if he were standing
behind me.
―I want my pork chop! I want my pork chop! I‘m the pastor of
Cornerstone Church! I want my pork chop!‖
Literally, every guest in the restaurant—upstairs, downstairs,
and at the bar—had their heads turned upward toward the staircase
as he continued to yell, ―I want my pork chop! I want my pork chop!‖
The other guests‘ food had piled up and was nearly too cold to
serve. Yes, table service for the entire restaurant was delayed and the
quality of product was hindered. Maury Davis belittled and verbally
tortured everyone within earshot that night. His continued belligerent
behavior cost one lady an opportunity to learn about the God whom
he was supposed to promote. But that didn‘t matter. Her salvation
was unimportant. Apparently, the only important thing that night
was that Pastor Maury Davis did not get his pork chop. For that, and
that alone, he was ―embarrassed.‖
I mulled the situation over in my head, and I was at a loss.
Regrettably, throughout the rest of the night, waiter after waiter
(eight in total) stated to me, ―Don‘t you ever ask me to go to church
with you again!‖
A particular young lady whom I‘d had a crush on for a while
declared, ―I don‘t want anything to do with you Christians! This is
135
worse than any Sunday shift I‘ve ever had to work—including Moth-
er‘s Day!‖ 167
I don‘t think I‘ve ever been so embarrassed because of another
person‘s actions. I stood meekly while expediting food and directing
the kitchen line. I heard his voice again. I turned to my left and there
he was! He‘d walked downstairs and into the kitchen.
He yelled to one of the dishwashers, ―Hey, you! Make sure I
get my pork chop!‖ He left as quickly as he entered. The dishwasher
looked at Maury Davis as if the pastor was crazy. The poor kid had
no idea what that was all about or what had happened.
Sadly, I was the one who was scolded and shunned that even-
ing, and for many shifts to follow. Prior, I‘d always had the Sunday
lunch shift off because I taught a Sunday school class. I knew damn
good and well how the after-church crowd acted in restaurants—any
restaurant—but from then on out, I would take their horrific treat-
ment of the wait-staff personally. I had hoped I was the only one who
had noticed their behavior, and further associated Christianity with
their hypocrisy. But as always, I was wrong. I knew. They knew.
Everyone knew.
Before I attempted Christianity, I‘d muse to others about how
Christians went to church for two hours every Sunday to speak
platitudes about love and forgiveness with tears in their eyes. Then
afterward, they‘d go to a restaurant, it seemed, only to work the
waiters to death, leave little if any tip money, and then try to get the
waiter fired for little-to-nothing.168 With them, every order is a special
order; every item possible is on the side and to keep sugar caddies
filled is next to impossible. And heaven forbid if a restaurant doesn‘t
offer sweet tea! Jesus himself couldn‘t make enough sweet tea, nor
make it sweet enough. It‘s ironic. They‘ll rebuke people who drink
alcohol or smoke cigarettes, but the majority of American Christians
are addicted to sugar, and nonsense.
Born-again Christians as restaurant customers are the most
demanding, rude, unsympathetic people on the face of the earth. One
of my few saving graces is that I have almost always worked in the
167
Mother‘s Day is the most dreaded day and shift of restaurant workers across the
nation. It is reported that 40% of Americans dine out during this holiday, and 98% of
them arrive immediately from church services. There are more employee termina-
tions, both voluntary and involuntary, on this one annual date than at any other time
of the year. In most restaurants, are no shifts; everyone works a double-shift straight
though from open to close, including the kitchen staff and management. These
double-shifts from hell usually end with less earned tipped-income than a slow-paced
Monday evening shift.
168
Yes, this really happens. It happens weekly.
136
food and beverage industry. That being the case, when I‘d join them
after church for lunch or dinner, I‘d always over-tip the waiter on the
side. That‘s how I could live with myself in their presence. Eventually
though, I discontinued dining in public with them altogether for a
modicum of self-respect.
If the average churchgoer could actually acquire a broken and
contrite heart, she‘d come to realize how many waiters, bartenders,
and chefs have been browbeaten by her kith and kin. Then maybe,
just maybe, the after-church crowd might begin to save souls, not
obliterate them.
* * *
One particular Sunday morning I flipped through the chan-

nels when I came across a preacher who told a story that is certainly
worth repeating. While preaching to his congregation, Pastor Waylon
Bailey talked about a particular Sunday when he and his family went
to a restaurant after a church service. He stated that he‘d informed
the restaurant‘s hostess that he was expecting a dozen or so people
at his table. He said he then proceeded to walk through the dining
room where he chose the spot for his table. He said that he removed
the condiments from four different tables, displaced the chairs, and
began to ―build his own banquet table‖ in the middle of the dining
room.
Immediately, a waitress approached him and asked him why
he was moving tables across the dining room. Pastor Bailey told her
that he was bringing a dozen or more people to eat with him and that
he was setting up his banquet table where he wanted them to eat. He
added that he was offended by her questions and by the look on her
face.
She politely asked him to refrain from any further moving of
the tables and chairs. She explained that some of the tables were
previously reserved, and that the dining room floor was designated by
sections for the wait staff and that she, the hostess, and the other
restaurant staff would find a suitable location for his table.
He told the television audience that he was infuriated! He said
that he stood in the middle of the dining room and proclaimed, ―Do
you know who I am? I am the senior pastor of the First Baptist
Church of Covington!‖ He further recited a list of accomplishments
that both he and his church had attained; and by implication, that
he was not going to be told by someone who doesn‘t earn minimum
wage where he was going to sit during his meal—especially since he
was going to pay for it!
He looked out across his congregation and swore that he had
screamed such words to the hapless waitress.
137
The waitress offered, ―Sir, I apologize if you‘re upset, but we

have policies and guidelines set in place so that we can better serve
all of our guests.‖
He testified that he became even more furious. The preacher
said he demanded a manager‘s immediate presence, which implied
that she would be fired.
Then, he said it hit him. He said he ―came to his senses when
God laid it on his heart how he had behaved.‖ He said he began to
move the tables, chairs, place settings and condiments back to
whence they came. Pastor Bailey said he then dropped his head and
apologized both to her and to the entire dining room.
―I‘m sorry, ma‘am. You are definitely the one that God has
placed in authority here. Not me. I have all of the authority at my
church and with my family, but this is your business and you are the
one who works it every day. I am sorry. I am wrong.‖
He said he turned and walked meekly back to the hostess
stand and waited as he should have in the beginning.
Was he wrong? Of course. Was he an asshole? Most definitely.
Did he realize it and repent? Yes, he did those things too.
The sad fact of the matter is that his behavior on that particu-
lar Sunday afternoon is not the exception to the rule. It is the norm!
With the exception of his realization that he acted like an idiot, that
one scene is played out over and over again on a weekly basis in
restaurants across America by the after-church crowd. Only rarely
does someone stop and check his behavior, then apologize and make
amends. As a matter of fact, his is the only story I‘ve ever heard
where a Christian actually repented in a restaurant; and I‘ve worked
in restaurants for 31 years.
* * *
The after-church crowd at the local grocery store doesn‘t fare

any better than those who dine out. When I lived in Nashville I had
car trouble that left me without a car for almost a month. Out of
necessity I rode my bicycle to the grocery store. I had to carry the
groceries in a backpack and ride about six miles one-way, then six
miles back. At first thought this may not appear like much of a chore;
but imagine how many (or rather, how few) groceries can be carried
in a backpack while riding a bicycle. Because of this, I had to endure
this trek at least three times a week. Imagine for a moment if you had
to feed your family with only that which can be crammed (without
damage) into a college-style backpack. Eggs and bread had to be
placed in flimsy plastic bags with the loop handles wrapped around
the handlebars. They had to be positioned just right, or they‘d swing
against my knees while peddling or hit the spokes of the front wheel.
138
Several times I stood at the bicycle rack next to the grocery

cart, trying to place everything just so. Oftentimes, I misjudged the
size or shape of a box or bottle and struggled to clasp the backpack
shut. Then imagine heaving to pick it up, putting it on, and balancing
the bike for six miles. It was a chore! Let‘s not forget about having a
gallon of milk, along with cans, boxes, and bags bouncing against my
back for six miles. I actually acquired a bruised kidney from doing
this for so long.
One particular afternoon, I stood outside of a grocery store
while struggling to get it right. I saw three pairs of couples walk right
past me, wearing their Sunday-go-to-meeting best. Each couple made
direct eye contact with me, saw my plight, and chose to ignore me.
Never once did anybody offer any assistance.
So, in the course of writing this book, I posed an experiment. I
chose to do the same as I had in Nashville out of necessity. This time,
however, I‘d do it at a chain grocery store in New Orleans on a
Sunday afternoon. I decided to perform the ritual in an exaggerated
manner; and I decided to have a bible with me. I bookmarked it to
Exodus in the Old Testament and to Luke of the New Testament. I
also had a small, concealed tape recorder in my pants pocket.
I stood outside during the first week, and waited for someone
to walk by in their church-going duds. When I saw that they (obvious
church attendees) had noticed me, I was going to pounce. And
pounce I did! I looked one particular older gentleman straight in the
eyes. I was huffing and puffing, sweating, struggling with my load.
When he noticed me I asked him, ―Hey Brother, how was church this
morning?‖
―Fine, fine!‖ His grey-blue eyes came to life. His chest, almost
down to his waist, swelled and climbed upward. He beamed a sanc-
timonious aura—straightening up tall.
―Good.‖
I offered further, ―Hey, Brother, this is a little too much for me
to handle.‖ It was all I could do to keep from laughing. ―Which car is
yours, and when you‘re finished inside, I‘ll throw this bike into the
trunk. You wouldn‘t mind giving a Christian brother a ride home,
would you?‖
―What?‖ He came almost to a complete stop. ―I don‘t know
you!‖ His head remained turned toward me, but his gate increased as
he shuffled away—guarded.
―But, Brother,‖ I chided, ―Exodus 23:4-5 says that you‘re sup-
posed to help a man with his burdens. And what about the Good
Samaritan? Jesus said….,‖ was all I could say before he hustled past
me through the auto-opening glass doors.
Later in the day, a younger couple came toward me while I
stood and struggled at the bicycle rack. They were both in their mid-
139
twenties. She was a very pretty; with shoulder-length, wavy blonde

hair, blue eyes, and a full set of pouty lips. She wore a lime green
blouse and a khaki skirt that fell about three inches above her knees.
She also wore dark-brown, leather heels. She had the best set of
calves I‘ve ever seen. To say, ―a looker‖ is an understatement in
describing this little, Christian gal.
The guy with her was a regular Dufus with a blue Oxford
shirt, khaki pants, and brown deck shoes; matching leather belt, of
course. He looked as if he had recently been released from military
basic training. Not because of his body though—he was skinny as a
rail—but because his hair was shaved so close to the scalp that its
true color I cannot relay. His Adam‘s apple looked as if he had an
actual Granny Smith apple lodged down there. Dufus also had beady,
beady, brown eyes.
As he turned to flick the security latch on his key chain, I saw
the head lights blink on, then off, on his white Ford Explorer. The
sticker was still on the driver‘s side, tinted window. I noticed he had a
folded church bulletin sticking out of his shirt pocket. (I have to
admit that there was no pocket-protector, though.) She beamed a
smile that I‘ll remember for the rest of my life. Parenthetically, if there
had been girls like her at church when I was in my early twenties, I
might have attended too.
―Hey guys,‖ I shot out, ―did you just get out of church?‖
―Um, yes. Did we see you there?‖
―No, not today. I‘m poor and I don‘t have a car. And besides, I
don‘t have decent enough clothes to go to church.‖
―Oh,‖ she whined out. She shot me another look with those
pouty lips as she tilted her head toward her shoulder. She continued,
―Nice clothes shouldn‘t keep you from going to church.‖
―Come on Shelley, let‘s go,‖ he instructed as he made a soured
face and bit his bottom lip. They were taking the bait!
―So why did you ask if we were just at church?‖ She poured
out, ―Would you like to go to our church sometime?‖
I had them! These two were going to be the exception to the
rule I had been looking for over the past four years!
―Well, I used to be a Christian, so I know a little bit about the
bible. Do you two believe in the bible?‖
―Come on, Shelley. Let‘s go!‖
―You‘re not a Jehovah‘s Witness or a Mormon or anything like
that are you?‖ She began looking me up and down.
―No, no, a Baptist. Used to be.‖ I almost started to laugh
again.
Dufus grew more and more impatient. He tugged at her hand,
but she stood firm.
140
―You see, I have to ride this bike home, but I‘ve got too many
things to fit into my backpack. I was wondering if you could give me a
ride home when you get finished in there.‖
I pointed toward the front door, then continued, ―You know,
the bible says that we‘re supposed to help our neighbors with their
burdens. . . .‖
Dufus couldn‘t take anymore. ―Go to hell! We don‘t know you!‖
He grabbed her by the arm and escorted her inside.
As I stood there, amused and a little miffed, a security guard
came outside the store with Dufus right behind him. The short, fat,
Black guard barked out, ―What‘s the problem out here, sir?‖
I pointed to Dufus, ―This guy told me he was a Christian and
that he believed in the bible. But, I think he lied to me because he
doesn‘t live by what he says he believes.‖
I looked directly into Dufus‘ beady little eyes, ―He‘s never
heard of the Good Samaritan parable in the New...‖
―Okay, okay. Move along before I call the police.‖
Dufus asked the guard, ―You gonna walk us out when we
finish?‖
At that point I just peddled off.
I performed this test on four different Sunday afternoons, for
two hours at a time each day. I never got one—not one—Christian to
do that which he is commanded to do for his neighbor. Once I even
said to a man, ―That was not a suggestion, but an empirical com-
mand that Jesus made!‖ I almost had to fight the old, Christian man
that day.
I have only listed three examples of this litmus test. I could
easily devote an entire chapter or two to my experiences with this
matter, but I have grown tiresome of these pseudo-Christians and
their hypocrisy and paranoia. I can almost forgive their ignorance of
Torah, but their persistent negligence of the New Testament, much
less a favorite parable from their precious Jesus, is simply inexcusa-
ble. For their fleecing of the sheep, their constant hypocrisy, and
lame-ass dispositions, I will continue to rebuke them, to test them,
and denounce them.
* * *
During the writing of this book, the movie (actually, a sacred

snuff film) The Passion of the Christ opened in cinemas across the
country. More than a month before its premier (and on a nightly
basis), numerous Christian television broadcasts declared, ―Finally,
141
Hollywood and the secular world are going to recognize the strength
of the Christian dollar,169 as theater after theater is going to see born-
again Christians in action!‖
Unfortunately for them, they were correct!
In Rome, Georgia, The Passion of the Christ and its supporters
also showed their true character. While at the theater, several born-
again Christians refused to present their movie tickets to the ticket
checker and demanded that movie passes be exchanged for the
already purchased tickets. Why? The hoopla ensued because the
computer-generated tickets were randomly given the numerals ―666‖
as a prefix.170 Several of the Rome, Georgia movie-going Christians
complained to theater worker Erica Diaz that ―not only was the
computer-generated number insulting and inappropriate, but blas-
phemous as well.‖ The theater‘s manager assured the offended born-
again moviegoers that this was a random determination from the
system‘s off-sight computer, but the outcry was so boisterous that
theater owner Gary Smith had to schedule a press release.
Really? A press release? A press release to appease Christians
because a random number was generated on paper tickets that were
to be thrown away, anyway?
Further demonstrations of Christianity‘s brotherly love were
demonstrated at Audubon Park in New Orleans. As is customary,
small groups of pagans routinely hold coven meetings underneath
the centuries-old, towering oak trees or amidst blonde and twisting
dogwood trees. They offer personal, sacred time to their respective
god and goddess deities, or to simply commune with nature. These
are common practices that have occurred since the public park was
purchased circa 1871 by the city of New Orleans.
On March 03, 2004, the park‘s public face was forever defiled,
as two overzealous Christians approached three Wiccans who had
gathered amidst the blooming dogwood trees. The solemnity of the
Wiccan religious ceremony was rudely interrupted by the cries of two
Christians who told them rudely that they should watch The Passion
of the Christ ―for their own good.‖ One of the pagans, Druantia,
(pseudonym) of the Coven of the Twilight Grove offered that her
boyfriend had seen the movie and that she had planned on doing so
as well. She added that they were in the middle of a religious cere-
mony and asked that they no longer be disturbed. The two irate born-
again Christians stormed off.
169
As of summer 2011, the box office totals have been $611,899,420.
170
FOX News Channel, March 01, 2004; article ―666" Show Up on ―Passion‖ Movie
Tickets. Associated Press reporting.
142
Audubon Park security officers approached the pagan group

and forced them to disband immediately because they had received a
complaint that ―devil worshipers had taken over the park.‖ The three
of them departed after threats of police intervention.
Never before has there been a similar incident at Audubon
Park, but since this first occurrence it has happened six other times
(of which I am aware) while the movie was played at movie houses in
New Orleans. Feel assured that such Inquisition tactics will become
commonplace. The next chapter in the Crusades saga is currently
being written. If things do not change drastically, evangelical funda-
mentalists will force us all to their viewpoint and lifestyle. Or, better
yet (for them), we will be forced to live their perceived lifestyle—
complete with encumbrances—as they deem necessary.
Unfortunately, Gnostics, mythicists, and pagans have relaxed
their guard against religious fundamentalists. Each supposes that
just because Christians no longer burn heretics at the stake that
their tolerance is acceptance. It is not. If there were no constitutional
protections for alternative religions in America, we would all surely
see a resurgence of beheadings and burnings. In reality, court
dockets are presently filled with illegal evictions, child custody cases,
and wrongful termination suits against heretics of various sorts. It‘s
not over people; it is far from over!
143
Holiday Hypocrisy
―Philosophy is questions that may never be answered.

Religion is answers that may never be questioned.‖
~ Author Unknown
The Christmas season is a relatively humorous time of year

for me. I watch the news and laugh aloud as I see hypocrisy in its
truest form. I watch as Christians demand that Jesus is the reason
for the season and give their local politicians hell on earth instead of
peace on earth. They‘ll telephone threats and sign petitions all season
long; demanding that local nativity scenes be larger and grander than
any menorah or Kwanzaa display. They‘ll demand that department
stores such as Wal-Mart greet its customers with Merry Christmas
instead of Happy Holidays. They‘ll declare emphatically that Christ
Masse, i.e., Christmas, is a Christian holiday, and will never consider
that it is a modern-day derivative of pagan celebrations or full-blown
Catholicism.
I‘ve always found it ironic that Christians fight vehemently to
keep manger scenes displayed on public grounds, while pagans fight
to have manger scenes removed. Neither group seems to realize that
the manger scene is as pagan as Aphrodite‘s girdle. Nor do they
realize that there‘s nothing—absolutely nothing—holy about it.
It shouldn‘t surprise me that such trite rhetoric issues forth.
After all, the drunken debauchery of the pagan celebrations of the
past, i.e., Winter Solstice, Saturnalia, Yule, have absolutely nothing in
common with the celebrated birthday of Jesus, right? 171
Wrong!
“But those were drunken, fertility, sex-driven, sun-worshipping
cults! We’re Christians!”
I love to make mention of the fact that more DUI arrests hap-
pen during the Christmas season than at any other time of the year.
Yes, this holiday surpasses even the two busiest drinking days of the
year—New Year‘s Eve and St. Patrick‘s Day—combined! More illegiti-
mate children172 are born in September than in any other month! To
171
When I was run out of Christianity, the total reasons I was excommunicated were
a draw between my insistence on feeding the poor and my stance against Christmas.
Yes, Christians have heard the truth; they just choose to ignore it.
172
born out of wedlock
Holiday Hypocrisy
coincide with this statistic, there are more extramarital affairs, due to
office and family Christmas parties, than at any other time of the
year. Christians will spend thousands of dollars on Christmas gifts
for family members they speak ill of all-year long, as well as on co-
workers they wish would be fired. But they‘ll giving only spare change
to Salvation Army kettles.
The few who volunteer at local soup kitchens will pride them-
selves on volunteering for three hours on Christmas day while all-
year long they‘ll spend many thousands of dollars each on restaurant
dining for their happy hours and family dinners. Of course, we‘re the
only country in the world that has the dichotomy of people who will
wait outside the front of a restaurant, aching to spend $200 or more
on dinner for two, while poor people line up at the back of the restau-
rant to rifle through the trash dumpsters. American women will
gladly spend $200-plus for dinner, then go immediately into the
restroom and intentionally vomit it up.173
But this is a Christian nation!
Year after year, eating contests grow in popularity and are
widely considered to be ―the most participated in‖ sport in the nation.
State and county fairs, grocery store openings, car dealerships,
church carnivals—it doesn‘t matter the when or the where; just the
how. It‘s an all-inclusive sport that allows anyone to participate. The
only requirement is that the winning contestant must eat more than
the rest, and not vomit until the final bell has rung.
Sponsorship of eating contests is enormous; hundreds of mil-
lions of dollars of donated food, cash for prizes, and advertising
budgets are poured into eating contests annually—not to mention the
media attention. Within the confines of the carnival setting, people
gorge themselves on food stuffs past the point of vomiting. Winners
take pride in being the one who ate 50 or more hotdogs, or 32 pies, or
more than 50 dozen oysters (or whatever the totals), ad nauseam.
Corporate sponsors, food providers, and participants should be
ashamed.174
Within earshot of the gloating and puking, underemployed
mothers and non-custodial fathers walk their children to the few
rides they can afford, and wish they too could have a hot dog with
their child. Shelves at homeless shelters run bare while pie-smeared
173
Bulimia
174
Participants are known as ―professional eaters‖ and compete in Major League
Eaters events year-round. Major League Eating (MLE), describes itself as a sports
franchise that oversees all professional competitive eating events and competitive
eating television specials.
146
faces prattle in triumph for eating the most and not vomiting! City
convention planners will sponsor such eating contests for local
business promotion; they will donate funds for promotion and will
even procure the food to be eaten from food vendors. All the while,
they would never—never!—procure food for a homeless shelter or
solicit funds to build a shelter.
Hypocrisy!
Christians will spend $60 or more for a casual shirt, while
children who live less than a mile from their houses don‘t have
diapers. Christians give themselves luxury days at vanity spas, while
people their own age cry themselves to sleep because they have no
health insurance and are wracked with pain. Christians will drive
$60,000 cars that they cannot afford, but will turn a blind eye to the
cold, wet, huddled crowd at the bus stop. They condemn the street
nigger for smoking crack, but are more than eager to do a line with
the brother-in-law that comes to town twice a year.
Christmas displays and manger scenes are more important to
Christians than the message they are supposed to represent. For
example, in Hoffman Estates, IL a man had received awards almost
annually for the lavish Christmas displays on his lawn and atop his
house. During the Christmas season of 2007, two carloads of teenag-
ers vandalized the ornaments, completely destroying them. They even
stole the manger scene‘s animals and human figures—yes, they even
kidnapped little baby Jesus. When caught, the vandals dragged the
homeowner alongside one of the getaway cars for more than two
blocks; causing him severe injuries.
Why the vandalism? Because a competing family wanted the
victim‘s lawn display eliminated so that they might win.
But it’s a Christian holiday!
Yet another example of buffoonery happened in an Iowa
shopping mall on Black Friday175 of 2007. Most department stores
opened earlier than usual, around 6AM. The mall in question,
175
Black Friday is the day after Thanksgiving Day. Supposedly, it is the busiest
shopping day of the year and officially ushers in the Christmas shopping season. The
descriptive word black denotes an accounting term, implying that business ledgers
will be in the black, i.e., will show a profit. According to economists, the shopping
season that begins on Black Friday and ends the day after Christmas is the only way
that most department stores (large and small, corporate and independent) can stay in
business. If the Christmas holiday shopping season were ever to cease, it is esti-
mated that two-thirds of retailers would close their doors immediately. (I thought it
was all about Jesus?) (See Revelation 18:9–24)
147
Holiday Hypocrisy
however, opened at 4AM. The first hundred or so shoppers who

entered a particular department store were promised to receive some
sort of shopping promotion, such as gift cards or small electronics.
This is common. As is also common, when the doors to the depart-
ment store‘s main entrance were opened, there was a stampede of
early-morning Christmas shoppers. Scores of people were trampled
underfoot; several had injuries severe enough that they had to be
hospitalized. Three died. This same scenario happened no fewer than
20 times the same morning across America. It also happens every
year, at differing stores.
Occasionally, one will stipulate that Christmas is too commer-
cial. According to the evidence, Christmas is solely commercial! If one
paused for a moment and mentally removed everything commercial
regarding Christmas, i.e., no shopping, no parties, no bonuses, no
tree, no decorations, no carolers, no travel plans, and no gifts, the
only thing remaining would be the manger scene. No Christmas plays
with overly-privileged, shitty children in Christmas pageants. Isn‘t
that, according to the good Christians, what Christmas is all about?
Isn‘t Jesus supposed to be the reason for the season? So why don‘t
Christians eliminate the commercial, self-serving, self-promoting
aspects of this most-blessed event? Because they‘re left only with
Jesus; they certainly don‘t follow his words, so why should they
devote a specific holiday to him, and him alone?
Incidentally, as mentioned previously, the drunken pagan fes-
tivals of the past have no competition against a good ol‘ American
Christmas! The first police department in the United States was
founded by New York City (circa 1820) solely because of Christmas
celebrations! The debaucheries of the Catholic, Christmas festivals
were so riotous, so drunken, and so violent, that order and protection
had to be established for the city‘s non-participant, Protestant citi-
zens.
Every year without fail, Christians will take off from work and
remove their children from school on the day of the Christmas
parade. However, has one ever noticed that the sponsors of the
Christmas and Thanksgiving Day176 parades are all of commercial
interests? Department stores, Disney and other movie ventures, etc.
pass by—roll along—float after float, hawking their wares. Munici-
palities endorse the parades and give special consideration for
176
The Thanksgiving Day parade ushers in Black Friday.
148
permits and insurance with great zeal and enthusiasm in hopes of

tourism and increased tax revenues from shoppers.
Does the lip-biting Christian know that parades are nothing
less than the idol processions from the pagan days of the past? Yes!
In pagan cultures, it was vastly common for idol processions to
parade throughout the streets and depict the various pagan idol gods
that where revered at the time. They also were cleverly endorsed by
the local government or court because it was good for the business of
local restaurateurs and idol makers. 177 Instead of little Jimmy getting
to see Disney‘s Aladdin float pass by, he got to see a real Djinn (genie)
made of bronze or silver; oftentimes, a real, human sacrifice would be
covered with molten, precious metal to give proper human form and
to provide a proper human sacrifice. 178 Think of that the next time
there‘s a Christmas or Thanksgiving Day parade! And if you don‘t
believe this assertion, simply count how many floats have no com-
mercial designation and represent solely the birth of Jesus Christ
(Santa Clause themed floats do not count). The sum total will speak
for itself.
* * *
I am hesitant to present this section because my income

greatly depends on similar situations and necessary stupidity.
Nevertheless, it must be addressed herein. To begin, my late wife,
Barbara, told me that while she worked at Commander‘s Palace she
had one dayshift per week. She told me that when she‘d sign for
wedding flower deliveries, she‘d never once—not once—signed for a
delivery that was less than $35,000 per event. She told me further
that many of those deliveries were for rehearsal dinners, not even for
a wedding or a wedding reception. Can you imagine the total amount
of money spent on such wedding events? Between the rehearsal
dinner, the wedding, the reception afterwards, the honeymoon, hotel
rooms for hundreds of guest, airfare for hundreds of guests, the
wedding dress, bride‘s maid dresses, photographers, etc., an entire
house could be purchased for the amount of money totaled. The least
cost of flowers for just one event out of the numerous ones that make
up the wedding en total was $35,000? For just the rehearsal dinner?
Sacrilege!
177
Hislop, Alexander. The Two Babylons. Chino, CA: Chick Publications, 2000.
178
Servant of the Bones © 1998 Anne Rice
149
Holiday Hypocrisy
Imagine how many mouths that could feed? Imagine if a

homeless shelter or halfway house was built with that money. Hell,
they could even name the place after the bride and groom! But no,
that will never happen. The cries of the poor be damned! Appearances
and superficiality will prevail!
I once met an entry-level office worker named Betty who
worked at Dollar General‘s corporate offices. She had a daughter who
was soon to marry. Betty took on a second job and second-mortgaged
her house for $40,000 in attempts to give her daughter the most
fabulous wedding any of her friends had ever attended. (There is no
continuation of this particular story; I just wanted to mention it out
of contempt.)
I‘ve been an attendant bartender at more uppity wedding
events than I care to recall. The blatant conspicuous consumption,
the in-your-face my wedding was grander than hers mentality is
appalling. And without a doubt, there is always a preacher-priest to
officiate over the nuptials.
Never once has a preacher-priest called the father of the bride
over to the side and affirmed, ―I cannot in good conscious do this. It
oppresses the poor; it benefits no one; it is a waste; and it is unchris-
tian. I refuse!‖
No preacher-priest has ever refused; none ever will. They are
not shepherds—they are wolves in sheep‘s clothing. Remember,
wolves are reputed as being predators of sheep. However, one should
remember that a shepherd protects sheep for one reason: To herd
them to the farmer‘s market or butcher shop. A wolf devours sheep; a
shepherd sells sheep for profit.
* * *
Good Christian housewives talk shit about the coworker who

got caught having an extramarital affair, but will video-tape every
episode of Desperate Housewives when they‘re at choir practice. They
petition to closedown strip clubs, but will hire a male stripper and gift
wrap dildos for bridal showers. They will slam the door in the faces of
Jehovah‘s Witnesses, but spend thousands of dollars for their mis-
sionaries to knock on doors elsewhere.
Good, Christian, American housewives spend billions of dol-
lars annually on makeup and beauty products; their bathrooms and
purses are full of them. 179 They‘ll spend thousands of dollars to have
179
In America: $10 Billion a year in over-the-counter beauty products. This total does
not include personal hygiene or grooming products, Botox, cosmetic surgical
150
their teeth whitened artificially, capped, or fitted with veneers. They

switch hairstyles and hair colors numerous times yearly. They flash
their jewelry and diamond necklaces to draw attention to their bust
line. However, they‘ll be the first to mock women who have plastic
surgery and breast implants.
Hypocrisy!
They will invite the pastor and his wife over for dinner; they‘ll
never offer the homeless man at the edge of the parking lot lunch
after church service. Good Christians get their feelings hurt while
visiting a new church if they don‘t get their hands shaken quickly
enough; but when at their own church, they shun the homeless man
who sneaks in and sits in the back pew.
procedures, vanity dental work, or spa/massage treatments.

http://wiki.answers.com/Q/How_much_do_Americans_spend_on_beauty_products
151
The Sins of Katrina
―The wrong place, the wrong time; New Orleans anytime!‖

~ Unofficial town motto
(Editor‘s note: This chapter is actually a 211-page section in the

complete book; it is Part IV.)
As a result of Hurricane Katrina, Barbara and I ended up in a

goddamned cornfield named Danville, Illinois. When we landed in
Danville, we were on the front page of the newspaper no less than five
times in less than a year‘s time. Everyone in Danville knew of our
plight and our struggle to find employment, housing, and transporta-
tion in the small town.
We eventually ended up working for a realtor who‘d opened a
restaurant. Nine months after we began the job, a woman who
worked in our boss‘ real estate office bounced into the restaurant.
She beamed! She was all smiles and could hardly contain herself.
―Keith! Keith!‖ Suzie Gaudio, the former queen of the local
Anheuser-Busch distributorship, tried to catch her breath. ―I‘ve got
such good news for you and Barbara! Such good news!‖
She continued, ―My church‘s youth group just returned from
New Orleans! They‘ve been down there for a couple of weeks rebuild-
ing churches that were flooded.‖
―Okay.‖
―Well, they‘re going to have a slideshow this Sunday morning
and we want to invite you and Barbara to attend!‖ She was as lit up
as four Christmas trees. ―Isn‘t that wonderful?‖
―Let me get this straight,‖ I assumed I was about to be fired.
―You and your church knew that Barbara and I came to town with
only one change of clothes and no underwear. You knew that we had
no car or place to live all our own. No furniture, nothing.‖
―Uh, yeah!‖
―Did you or your church invite us over for Thanksgiving din-
ner? Did you ever wonder if we were hungry? Your church knew that
this was our first winter….did you bring us any winter clothes? When
Christmas rolled around, weren‘t ya‘ll curious as to how we were
doing, with no family, no personal mementos, no history here?‖
Suzie‘s face went blank; her lips tightened.
The Sins of Katrina
―But, your good kids just came back from New Orleans and
you want my wife and me to be visual aids for you good church folk?
Fuck you, and fuck your church!‖
She stormed off.
* * *
On several occasions, Barbara and I recalled the nerve-

wracking events immediately after Hurricane Katrina. It was uncanny
that every single time someone who professed to be a Christian
offered to buy food for us they‘d always spend hours trying to prose-
lytize us beforehand—to the point of almost being stalked. People
who were poor (and one can easily tell on a Greyhound Bus) who‘d
insist on buying food for us, never once threw their faith in our faces.
They‘d pay at the fast-food counter, smile, and then politely walk
away. The poor offered us dignity; well-to-do Christians offered us
insults.
When we‘d first arrived in Danville, however, we were offered
jobs to manage a new restaurant that was scheduled to open shortly
afterward. The owners said that they had decided on a New Orleans
theme because they had some sort of connection to the city. We
interviewed a second time, but something just didn‘t feel quite right.
The owners, Don and Marie Pribble, also owned a coffee shop deli
that was rather successful; it was named The Java Hut. The new
restaurant they planned to open was to be named Café Vermillion.
On a particular night in October 2005, the world-famous mu-
sicians from Preservation Hall were going to perform in Danville as
one stop along a fundraising tour for New Orleans musicians who
were displaced by the hurricane. We were asked by Don and Marie
Pribble to work an after-party event for their new restaurant. Howev-
er, we were further told that we were not going to be paid for the work
we were to perform. We were also informed that when we began to
manage their new restaurant venture, we would not be paid for doing
so, as well.
Marie Pribble explained, ―Look, we put our own money into
this restaurant. We are assuming all of the risk. You two don‘t even
have jobs. But, after five years when we‘ve made our money back,
plus a little profit, you can buy the business from us.‖
I looked at Barbara, who noticed the puzzled look on my face.
I repeated to Marie Pribble exactly what she‘d offered to me by phone.
Barbara mumbled, ―What kind of city is this?‖
Marie continued, ―Plus, you‘re going to have all of that FEMA
money everybody‘s talking about. You won‘t need our money; you can
just work for us for free for the five years, then buy it from us.‖
154
I hung up the phone. I immediately drafted a letter and put it

in the mail.180
A month later, Barbara and I were seated on barstools at a
restaurant‘s bar. We were at our wit‘s end as to what to do. We
couldn‘t move back to New Orleans. We couldn‘t stay in Danville
without work. No FEMA money was to be forthcoming. We bitched
and bemoaned our circumstances.
Though we did not mention Don and Marie‘s names, we told
the bartender the story mentioned immediately above. She inter-
rupted us halfway and called over waitress, after waitress, after
waitress. In full succession, each told us of their own experiences
with the Pribble family.
―I was told that as a good Christian, I was to work off the clock
for her and her church friends. I always had trouble getting paid for
my regular hours at work, but I never got paid for those after-hours
church events. I was required—we were all required—to work two of
them a week.
―They always put that Christian guilt on me, and threatened to
fire me and block my unemployment if I refused. There aren‘t a lot of
jobs in Danville; a job at half-pay is better than no job at all, and they
know it.
―The irony is, they probably have badmouthed you two all over
town for standing up to them. They‘re bigwigs at the church, you
know? You‘ll probably never find good work here.‖
With just a few words‘ difference, the three paragraphs above
were parroted by eight different waitresses and two bartenders!
But they’re Christians!
Hypocrisy!
Thou shalt not defraud thy neighbour, neither rob

him: the wages of him that is hired shall not abide
with thee all night until the morning.181
The pièce de résistance, however, was a sole encounter for

Barbara: she was abducted by a Christian Tupperware party! Yes,
you read correctly. A woman named Brandy, whom I‘d met while at
work, promised that she had a job for Barbara. She knew that we
both had to work all we could because we had been denied FEMA
assistance and were living hand-to-mouth. Resultantly, Brandy drove
Barbara to Champaign-Urbana, a city 45 miles away. During the
180
See Appendix B
181
Leviticus 19:13
155
The Sins of Katrina
entire ride, she refused to talk about the job for which Barbara was
―guaranteed.‖
Barbara told me, ―Yes,‖ she was antsy, but she was desperate
for a job—any job!
After an hour and a half of traveling between cornfields and
strip malls, they‘d finally arrived at a house. When they went inside,
women of all ages, colors, and sizes ran from room to room, jibber-
jabbering, i.e., talking in tongues. Barbara, being raised half-assed
Catholic and being an atheist at heart, had absolutely no idea about
speaking in tongues, Pentecostalism, or Tupperware.
In a nutshell, the job that she was guaranteed to receive was
one of those pyramid scheme buy-ins to purchase Tupperware and
sell it for a minimal profit.
Barbara reported to me that she said to Brandy, ―We just lost
everything. We don‘t have a car or a place of our own to live. We have
no money. But you expect me to buy-in on Tupperware?‖
―Well,‖ Brandy retorted, ―you need to remember: you won‘t get
to keep all of the profits. Most of the sales profits will go into our
church fund.‖
―I wanna go.‖
―We can‘t go. We haven‘t prayed about it yet.‖
―What?‖
―We all have to pray that every woman here will be led to buy
the amount of product that God wants them to, and not a bit less. We
can‘t let Satan win! God needs us to sell his Tupperware!‖
Barbara begged, ―These women are crazy—speaking gibbe-
rish—and running around. I want to go home!‖
―We can‘t go home until God wills it….it‘s not even noon, yet.
We might be here all night, if God wills it!‖
Barbara was kept there for over five hours, with people trying
to force her into signing a Tupperware contract. She said it was as if
each woman had been briefed on just what to say to her.
Each said in turn, ―After you get all of that FEMA money they
talk about on CNN, you‘ll have enough to pay for your first order. Of
course, you‘ll want to give a bunch of that FEMA money to our
church fund, since you‘ve been blessed with such a good offer here
today! It‘s God‘s will, you know!‖
* * *
Of course, much can be said about all of the Christian organi-

zations that came to New Orleans in droves for four years after
Hurricane Katrina. Most were Christian youth groups. The good kids
came down and, for the most part, gutted churches so that other,
later youth groups could come down and rebuild other churches.
156
When houses were gutted, cleared, and rebuilt by Christian hands,

you‘d better bet that the owners were Christians! It was all a front; all
of their charity ended up being nothing more than media posturing
and spiritual masturbation.
Militant church groups protested the goings on of Bourbon
Street while tens of thousands of homeless people encamped across
the city, i.e., underneath overpasses, atop levees, and on the lawn of
the city hall. While churches were gutted and rebuilt, not one meal
was given to the homeless—not one! Of course, I do not speak of the
usual homelessness, by which every city is plagued, nor of the
accelerated numbers of homelessness that New Orleans has always
had—I refer to the direct aftermath of residents who became home-
less as a result of Hurricane Katrina and to the additional scores of
thousands who came here due to promised (or hoped-for) construc-
tion jobs, but found that few, if any, existed. The church groups and
youth mission groups never fed one of those in dire need. Never!
They did, however, discover Bourbon Street. Thousands of
good Christian, teen-aged girls left their respective church youth
groups and began to strip on stages and dry hump poles. They
became bartenders, waiters, and managers.182 They rented the few
houses they‘d helped gut and rebuild. Meanwhile, the Diaspora was
strewn across the country. We took Greyhound busses back and
forth every couple of months, trying to find employment and rentable
housing in our city. We were denied both. The good Christian girls
took all of the available employment and affordable housing. They did
so without care and without remorse. As a matter of fact, the carpet-
bagging church girls overtook the strip club industry (which had
grown faster and stronger than any other industry during the re-
182
Yes, managers! Restaurant and bar owners were so desperate to hire managers
(mainly, so they could get some sleep) that they were hiring eighteen- and nineteen-
year old church girls who had never worked in a restaurant (nor ever, at all). When
those of us came back home to seek work, and if we were able to find bartend-
er/waiter work, we answered to little Christian girls who could not be fired for incom-
petence because so much time had elapsed with them in their positions. For
example, the owners of Commander‘s Palace—the number three restaurant in the
world—stood in front of Blockbuster and asked anyone who walked across the
parking lot if they wanted to work in fine dining.
The quoted pitch was: Have pulse, get the dream job of your life!
What a fucking nightmare! After we (not just Barbara and I, but all of our veteran
brethren in the food and beverage industry) could finally return, there were no job
openings to be had, time, and time, and time, again.
157
The Sins of Katrina
building of New Orleans)183 with such veracity that when three

busloads of legitimate strippers came here from Ohio, there were no
jobs for them; they had to re-charter buses and return home. It‘s
ironic that the SBC has never mentioned these facts in their puff
pieces about their youth group ministries after Hurricane Katrina!
183
After hurricanes Katrina and Rita, New Orleans was basically a male centric city:
the influx of industries was male oriented, e.g., insurance, construction, law enforce-
ment, FEMA, legal, search and rescue. Thus, restaurant re-openings came second to
strip club openings. Before the hurricanes, Bourbon Street had twelve strip clubs;
afterwards there were thirty-six.
158
Jesus of Nazareth: The Greatest Man W ho Never Lived
―It has served us well, this myth of Christ.‖

~ Pope Leo X
(Editor‘s note: This chapter is actually a 235-page section in the

complete book; it is two-thirds of Part III.)
Many of my readers will have read thus far and will surely be-
lieve that I‘ve drank the Kool-Aid instead of the sacramental wine. No,
I have not relapsed into Christianity. However, since the character of
Jesus is so fundamental to Christian doctrine (although it is never
practiced), I felt that the issue of character must be presented herein,
before the issue of validity has been established or debunked. That
being the case, my readers can rest assured that this chapter will
deal exclusively with debunking the validity of a real-life Jesus of
Nazareth.
As one might assume, the topic of this chapter is a difficult
subject to address. For eight years I have pondered the method by
which I might present this material. Often I came up void. I decided
finally that format and layout were not important; only the subject
matter mattered. As a result, there are those whose sensitivities will
be alarmed. There are those who will not read past this chapter‘s title
and the heading quote. That would be a shame. The reader is well
aware that this book is a spiritual biography and an exposé of the
Christian church. Be forewarned; I come to enlighten and offend—to
arm and disarm. This lengthy chapter will reveal the truth about
Jesus of Nazareth—the Christ.
I forewarn that Christian readers are not going to like this
chapter one damn bit; but those who seek enlightenment and resolu-
tion will. The material presented herein is patently mine; that is, if
one can own an idea or thought. Other material presented herein will
be cited accordingly. In this chapter, I will present three differing
facets of Jesus Christ. They will be: Jesus as a biblical figure, Jesus
as a historical figure, and Jesus as a solar figure. They commence as
follows:
Jesus as a Biblical Figure
In short, the traditional story we‘ve all heard since three days
after our births follows thusly:
Jesus Christ: The Greatest Man Who Never Lived
Little Baby Jesus was born in a stable because his parents

were homeless. He was visited in the stable by three Wise Men who
each brought expensive gifts for the newborn, baby king. He was then
whisked away to Egypt, and grew up without ever committing sin. He
helped his stepfather Joseph, a carpenter.
As a carpenter, Jesus was apparently the only honest contrac-
tor in history. Did he return borrowed tools on time? Did he finish
the work on time? Did he inflate the bill? Was he licensed and
bonded? Did he cuss when he hit his thumb with a hammer?
Having done none of the above, he was sinless. I guess he‘d
just recently ―got saved‖ at the age of thirty when he decided to give
up the family business and turn to the ministry. Three years later his
parish turned against him and falsely accused him of blasphemy
against God and sedition against Rome. Thus, he was executed.
Three days later he resurrected himself (his followers never once
thought about raising him from the dead, like they were instructed)
from a borrowed grave. After about forty days, he decided he‘d had
enough of this place called Earth. So, he went on vacation, left no
forwarding address, and refuses to pay his child support. End of
story.
No, that‘s not the end of the story.
* * *
Excluding popular misconceptions by Protestant Christianity,

Jesus of Nazareth was not a Caucasian, Republican, upper-
middleclass American! In reality, Jesus was a historicized concept
that was amalgamated from ancient and competing pagan myths. His
caricature was stolen and perverted by Hellenized Jewish mystics.
Maybe the words stolen and perverted are too strong; thus appearing
anti-Semitic. How about, borrowed and incorporated? Though, I
prefer the word plagiarized. Pause, rewind, play. Jesus was nothing
more than a borrowed, solar myth that was incorporated by put-upon
Jewish heretics. He is the epitome of the amalgamation of the Old
Testament scriptures and Greek hero myths. Okay, I‘ll acquiesce. He
was more than that. He was the greatest man who never lived.
The debate arises frequently when, on occasion, a born-again
Christian stumbles across a website or discovers a book that makes
similar claims to the ones in the previous paragraph. The hungry
little seeker will comb through the various texts, word for word,
checking the dates, then the authenticity or scholarship of the
author. She understands the material and momentarily she ques-
tions her religion and her life. Most assuredly though—after much
mulling and internal debate—she will take her newfound skepticism
to her local pastor or Sunday school teacher. She will assuredly be
160
berated for having asked questions; the answers of which, might

contradict her faith. Most assuredly, after being belittled or treated
scornfully, she will accept the most common of resolutions: Satan
has lied to me again!
On the contrary, my little sheep; your pastor has lied to you!
Again! He knows the truth! Yes! If he is a graduate of any Baptist-run
theological seminary, he absolutely has been taught the facts con-
tained herein and been graded on them. Likewise, he has also been
well-versed with a circular logic response. The same is true of small-
er—rural or urban—church pastors. If the Southern Baptist Conven-
tion has issued ordination papers to him, then it is a fact—he knows!
Do not be fooled; he is not going to compromise his annual salary
(most times in excess of $70,000!), his medical and pension benefits,
his life insurance, nor his housing allowance (which usually equals
his yearly wage), nor his credentials and ordination papers from
various ecclesiastical organizations. Instead, he will take his secret
(occult) knowledge to his grave. He will also choose to take you by the
hand and lead you there with him! He will intentionally deprive you of
a life lived with self-confidence in knowledge (gnosis); the chance of
living life to the fullest without the shackles and cuffs of dogmatized,
restrictive, oppressive religion. In essence, he will maliciously pro-
mote a religion that is founded on fraud, fear, and lies.
Regarding the Protestant church‘s savior, Jesus Christ, I will
attempt to present a point-by-point case of the most popular miscon-
ceptions about the one for whom the reader is willing to die. Then,
and only then, can the reader make an honest statement-of-faith. I
will inform the reader at this time that I will not make this attempt at
truth a heavy read. I will not continually break down every word into
the original Aramaic, Greek, or Hebrew. Nor will I parse words and
phrases to death. Neither will I proffer fragment, parchment, and all
too cumbersome data for examination. There are scores of books that
have already done that, and scores of authors that can certainly
make a better presentation of said material than I could ever attempt.
I will merely walk the reader through the mental labyrinth that I too
walked.
From here on out gang, no open-containers are allowed and
seatbelts are required; for what you are about to read will forever
change your life!
Point One: Jesus Died For Our Sins
No, this is not true. Jesus of Nazareth could not have died for
our sins! Even if we accept the salvation story as figurative according
to the literal Old Testament ritual for atonement, it still does not pass
161
muster and cannot bring salvation. This one point was the deciding
factor in choosing to leave Christianity for Judaism, then idolatry. I
feel assured that born-again Christian readers suspect that I refer to
one of the many arguments that Jehovah, as the father, caused his
son‘s death, declared it, and was responsible for it; or any number of
other theories regarding this matter. However, the reasoning is so
simple and basic that I am truly surprised that it has never—ever—
been addressed in any research, in any book, or website material that
I‘ve come across. That‘s right; we‘re covering new ground here, folks!
Exactly why couldn‘t Jesus have died for our sins? Christians
proudly and definitively declare: ―He was the Passover Lamb!‖ Ac-
cording to them, Jesus of Nazareth was purported to be the physical
realm‘s fulfillment of the Old Testament‘s Passover Lamb. This is
mentioned no less than 30 times in the canonized New Testament
writings.184
That, in itself, is the answer to this query. Jesus of Nazareth
was the representation (embodiment) of the Passover Lamb. Clear and
simple. However, the Passover Lamb was not a sacrifice for the
remission of sins!185 That was the scapegoat186 on the Day of Atone-
ment,187 not the sacrificial lamb during Passover! A goat! Not a lamb!
Day of Atonement! Not Passover!
To continue this discourse, after the Hebrews wandered in the
wilderness for some time, they were instructed to prepare and build a
tabernacle (a tent-like temple) for their god Yahweh/Jehovah. Once a
year the high priest was instructed to take two goats—goats!—and
sacrifice one for the sins of the new, nomadic nation of Israel. The
second goat was to have the sins of the Hebrew people imparted onto
it. It was then to be herded out into the desert and never allowed to
return or have contact with anyone from the twelve tribes. This
process is the origin of our modern-day word scapegoat.
I have asked many Christian apologists about this matter.
They each came to agreement with one figurative explanation: Judas
represented the scapegoat and Jesus the goat that was sacrificed on
the altar in the Holy of Holies. There is grave error in this assertion.
184
John 1:29, 1 Corinthians 5:7, and 1 Peter 1:19 to name only three.
185
Exodus 12
186
The actual Hebrew word is azazel, meaning ―goat of departure.‖ It is not capita-
lized, nor is it a proper noun, as many Satanists wish to declare.
187
Leviticus 16
162
For one, Jesus was always attributed with a lamb (sheep). The
dualism of the Old and New Testament writings never gave a positive
affirmation or characteristic for goats. Secondly, weren‘t the writers of
the Old and New Testaments Jews? Even in the cases of those in the
New Testament, they were supposedly Jews who converted to the new
doctrines and religion of Christianity. Every one of them made
similar, uncontradicted statements to that effect, if not outright
declarations of same, e.g., Jesus was a lamb without blemish and/or
the Passover Lamb of God. The point being, if the writers really were
whom they claimed to be, then there could be no confusion or
dispute over this matter. So, unless Paul or Peter or others espoused
the simile that Jesus was the ―goat for the Day of Atonement‖ the
assertion that Jesus died for our sins is a moot one, at best. A dead
one, at least.
This is evidence of the fact that the actual writers of the New
Testament texts were not of a practicing, Hebraic/Judaic sect! They
were people who attempted to create and design a new religion and
dogma, based on skimpy facts and limited understanding of an older
religion, about which they knew very little.
In addition, Jehovah-God himself declared vehemently that
human sacrifice was not to be offered;188 especially child sacrifice. In
support of this stance, scriptures too numerous to list herein were
offered as a rebuke from Jehovah-God to the ancient Hebrews for
when they did perform child/human sacrifice(s). 189 Many will counter
that Jesus was actually Jehovah-in-the-flesh. Wouldn‘t such a
sacrifice for sin then be considered ritual suicide? It is a chilling and
sobering concept, especially when one considers the cannibalistic
words that Jesus chose during the Last Supper!190 According to
scripture cannibalism, human sacrifice, and placing goats in a
positive light were not allowed by Jehovah, or Jesus.
Point Two: Jesus Never Sinned
This supposition too is in error. Of course, we have to enter-

tain the notion of sin and exactly how the word is defined. According
188
Leviticus 18:21
189
Deuteronomy 12:30-31, 18:10; 2 Kings 16:3 & 17:17, 30-31 & 21:6 & 23:4, 10;
Jeremiah 7:31-32 & 19:5 & 32:35; Ezekiel 16: 20-21, 36; Judges 11:31
190
Matthew 26:26–29
163
to The Merriam-Webster Dictionary, the word sin is defined as: ―1: an

offense, especially against God.‖ To utilize a non-secular source, 191
the Semitic language defines sin as ―to miss the mark.‖ Modern
theologians have expanded this definition by adding ―to miss the
mark of God‘s righteousness.‖
The fact of the matter is that the word sin was not a common
noun in the Semitic language during the times of the Old Testament
writings. Nor was it a common noun according to their customs and
courtesies. Sin was a proper noun! It was the name of the prevalent
goddess of Assyrian and Babylonian mythology. She was a moon
goddess, mother to Ishtar and grandmother to Tammuz 192 (a dying
and resurrected sun-god). She was later replaced as the moon
goddess and the Queen of Heaven by Ishtar, her daughter. She was
later morphed into the catholicized Virgin Mary—mother of Jesus.
When the Hebrew people were told that their immoral acts
were sinful, they were actually being warned that they were acting in
accordance to an idolatrous deity of neighboring, pagan nations. The
reader will recall that the first commandment of Jehovah‘s top ten
was ―…thou shalt have no other gods before me.‖193 According to the
criminal and civil law of the nomadic Hebrews, an act of sin (depend-
ing on its degree) could impose the death penalty. There is no wonder
the term (and its associations and connotations) were carried through
to the later Old Testament writings, the New Testament doctrines,
and through to the present day.194
However, at the heart of our discussion is the fact that Jesus
was reputed as having committed no sin(s) during his lifetime. 195
Recalling the explanation and true definition of that which sin is
(from the previous paragraphs), let‘s examine the supposed sinless
life that Jesus lived. Remember, according to the Jewish mindset,
any act that was in violation of the Torah would have been consi-
dered sinful, thus deserving of civil and criminal remedies.
191
Strong, James. Strong‘s Exhaustive Concordance Of The Bible. Peabody, MA:
Hendrickson Publishers, No publication date.
192
Ezekiel 8:14–15
193
Exodus 20:3
194
In both Old Testament Hebrew and New Testament Greek, the common word sin
is defined as ―offense‖ or ―to lead astray.‖ It does not mean ―crime‖.
195
Hebrews 4:15 and 2 Corinthians 5:21
164
Before his death and resurrection, Jesus was transfigured on

the mount. Reportedly, Moses and Elijah appeared to him in physical
or celestial form,196 though it matters not, which. Jesus approached
them and spoke with them at length. Without a doubt, Jesus prac-
ticed necromancy on that day! Didn‘t the witch of Endor 197 fear for
her life when she caused the dead prophet Samuel to appear to King
Saul?198
Also, when Jesus finished his session of fasting for 40 days
and overcame the temptations that Satan had presented to him, he
was visited by two angels. They comforted and nourished him. 199
Suffice it to say that Jesus practiced demonolatry!
When an occultist wishes to consult with those who are dead,
angelic/daemonic beings, or other otherworldly entities, he will
perform a ritual of evocation. This is basic, common knowledge among
occultists and witches. This is an undisputed fact. Also undisputed is
the fact that the act of evocation or communing with the dead (ne-
cromancy) and using scripture to bind, control, or summon an-
gels/demons (demonolatry) is forbidden according to God‘s laws. 200
Therefore, Jesus committed at least two sins—demonology and
necromancy.
Further, when Jesus participated in his famous 40-day fast,
he performed that which many occultists and spiritualists are well-
known to practice. The term Vision Quest is best described without
the usual verbiage and trappings many modern occultists choose to
offer. Ellie Crystal, the owner of Crystal Links website, phrased the
epitome of Vision Quest better than I could have dared. I have edited
her essay for grammar and length only. It is as follows:
From the beginning of time humanity has returned to

nature to connect with Spirit and to seek answers to
problems of the Third Dimension. There is something
about being alone in the wilderness that brings us
196
Matthew 17:1-9 & Luke 9:28-36
197
This scripture is where the television show Bewitched got the character‘s name
Endora.
198
1 Samuel 28:3-25
199
Mark 1:12, 13; Matthew 4:1-11 & Luke 4:1-13
200
Deuteronomy 18:9-14, Exodus 22:18 & Leviticus 19:26, 31
165
closer, makes us aware of the four elements and our

connection to the Source of creation. We go to seek
truths—divine realization—just as many of the ancient
prophets did in their time.
In its own way the Vision Quest is an Initiation
not unlike the days of the ancient mystery school
teachings where one learns about themselves and the
mysteries of the universe. These ―mysteries‖ are often
revealed to them. It is a time of internal transformation
and renewal. Who am I? Why am I here?
In a Vision Quest, conditions are set up that al-
low the soul to move beyond the illusions of the little
self and enter the unity of the inner whole. It is a time
of fasting, praying and communing with nature. It is a
period of solitude in which we seek inner revelation—a
vision—which grants profound meaning and direction
in our lives. This Initiation leads to maturity and an
understanding of our responsibility to ourselves, our
society, our natural environment and our soul.
Though the Vision Quest is associated with Na-
tive American traditions it is practiced all over the
world. As an expression of the archetypal ―Heroic
Journey,‖ the Vision Quest has been enacted in reli-
gious pilgrimages, mythological tales (including the
story of the search for the Holy Grail) and our own dai-
ly pursuit of truth and purpose.
Today, there are many companies which spon-
sor Vision Quests. They provide a wilderness area in
which it is to occur, and they give instructions and
guidance before and after the event.201
Of course, academic and author Joseph Campbell had much

to say about the Vision Quest experience. He stated bluntly,
―Our demons are our own limitations, which shut us

off from the realization of the ubiquity of the spi-
rit…each of these demons is conquered in a vision
quest.‖
201
For her full essay about Vision Quests, see www.crystalinks.com/visionquest.html
166
Without any doubt, Jesus undertook the Vision Quest expe-

rience head-on. Immediately afterward, he chose to follow a right-
hand path that cost him his life. Born-again Christians might specu-
late that Jesus‘ Vision Quest was the model for which later pagan
and/or occult societies would follow, i.e., that Satan perverted Jesus‘
experience into that which neo-pagans and occultists practice today.
That is not so. The Vision Quest has been practiced by every known
society since recorded history. Thus, it predates the life of Jesus
Christ by tens of thousands of years. Hence, we have determined that
Jesus practiced various ceremonies and rituals of an occult nature.
Thus, we‘ve added more sins to his flowchart.
But what of spellwork? Yes, Jesus performed spellwork too.
Each of the miracles that Jesus supposedly performed were just
that—spellwork, witchcraft, or magick. Isn‘t it ironic that Magi
journeyed to see him in his crib? That‘s correct. The Wise Men who
visited Jesus after his birth (the same ones who followed the star of
Bethlehem and presented him with gifts) were actually occultists! The
Greek word for Wise Men in the gospel tale is Magi,202 which is our
modern-day word magicians.203
Apparently, the Wise Men taught little baby Jesus a thing or
two about magick and spellwork because throughout the gospel
texts, Jesus is reported as having performed same. It‘s ironic, howev-
er, that there is no mention of his supposed miracles elsewhere in the
New Testament (outside the gospel accounts). Jesus‘ miracles in-
cluded, but were not limited to: turning water into wine (alchemy),
casting out devils (performing exorcisms), healing the sick, raising
the dead, walking on water, feeding both 5,000 and 4,000 congre-
gants, calming stormy weather, and (my personal favorite) causing
money to appear in a fish‘s mouth.
So, the Holy Bible, the book by which we are given the stan-
dards for sin, declares that Jesus himself sinned!
Regarding same, Jesus supposedly knew the scriptures better
than anyone. After all, wasn‘t he supposed to be god-in-the-flesh?
Then why did he have a history of rewriting God‘s laws? 204 It was
evident when he told his followers and potential converts ―you have
202
Magi>plural, Magus>singular
203
Matthew 2:1-12. Greek: magos or ―magician,‖ Oriental scientist.
204
Halakha is the oral tradition of the Jews. It was said to be stronger and more
binding than the written word of Torah and Tenach.
167
heard it said an eye for an eye, but I say unto you...‖205 Such exam-
ples as these (and many others) made it evident that Jesus stated
that Jehovah-God‘s laws were either erroneous, incomplete, or passé.
Jehovah-God spoke through his prophets that ―my word shall
be declared from....‖206 Maybe Jesus disputed only the interpretation
of God‘s law? No, he wasn‘t doing that or he would have said so. He
specifically mentioned that Moses had given the law. He never said
otherwise! To err from God‘s word (law) or to reinterpret same would
have been considered sacrilege and blasphemy. Both blasphemy and
sacrilege were substantial grounds for the death penalty in Israel. A
death penalty for those who sinned!
Point Three: Jesus Was a Prophet of God
If Jesus were an actual prophet of God, he failed miserably.

The prophets of the Old Testament were the ones who spoke directly
with God. They were the ones who kept the kings and the priests in
check with God‘s statutes and laws. They had unlimited authority
over the nation of Israel and anyone who chose to oppose them. If a
prophet, according to God, ever spoke a single word that did not
come to fruition he was not to be feared, because God no longer (or
never had) spoke through him.207
Dictating and interpreting God‘s words were not the only
chores of the prophets. Not in the least. They were the pagan equiva-
lent of magi and wizards. They could (through God‘s authority to do
so) cause droughts, bring hail storms, cause fire and brimstone to fall
from the sky (hitting specific targets), kill anyone they willed, and
cause any number of other curses; and sometimes blessings.
They knew God‘s word better than anyone, including the Le-
vite priesthood and the kings of Judah. If they so chose, they could
be terrors; and likewise, miraculous benefactors. They worshiped God
and adhered to his every whim. Without exception, all of the prophets
of God upheld his demands and kowtowed to his sensitivities. They
all feared God and would never have reinterpreted his laws and
statutes to appease Hebraic citizens by implying that they were
outdated or for a different time.
In addition, it was common behavior for them to rid the land
of idols and other ungodly activities. That was their main mission
205
Matthew 5: 38–39
206
Malachi 3:6
207
Deuteronomy 18:15–22
168
from God when dealing with his people. They would not hesitate to
remove the idolatrous images of wood or stone from Israelite homes.
Nor would they leave the sacred groves alone for those to dance
around naked while chanting erstwhile praises to the false gods of
other lands. Ironically, Jesus rid his homeland of none of the above.
Immediately next door to Herod‘s Temple (which formerly
stood Solomon‘s Temple, a.k.a. the Temple of God) were several
temples that were commissioned by Greece, then Rome, and several
by King Herod himself. During the time of Jesus‘ supposed sojourn in
Israel (referred to by historians as Palestine), circa 30 CE, pagan
temples flourished in activity with worship and animal/child sacri-
fice. Within a softball‘s throw of the Gentile Court were the temples of
Venus, Mithras, and Ishtar. A little farther away, but still within view
of Herod‘s Temple, were temples dedicated to Isis, Hercules, Mercury,
Mars, and Adonis. Farther away stood temples for various and
sundry other deities and pantheons.
So why didn‘t Jesus rebuke the participants and practitioners
of the pagan temples? Many, if not all, where Jews. There were very,
very few Roman civilians who occupied Palestine during those days;
Palestine was considered to be non-urbane and too troublesome for
the sophisticated citizens of the Roman Empire. Regardless, Jesus
never took umbrage with his kith and kin that practiced paganism.
Not once! A true prophet of God would have looked across Jerusalem
and shed tears as God‘s chosen people paid homage to idols of pagan
deities.208 But not Jesus! He was remarkably silent on the matter. A
true prophet would have instructed the children of Israel to destroy
the pagan temples, and either kill the participants or send them out
of the land. Those were God‘s instruction, weren‘t they?209
Then, and only then, according to God‘s written word, could
Israel be free from tyranny and the enslavement of its people. Howev-
er, he remained mute. I must attest that no literal prophet of God
would have—could have—remained mute. Thus, I declare that
(according to the Torah) Jesus was not a prophet of God!
Point Four: Jesus as Priest and Rabbi
It will be painful for some readers to fathom this argument,

but Jesus could not have been a priest of God, nor a rabbinical
teacher, as many have postulated. This will be a simple discussion
208
Habakkuk 2:18
209
Numbers 3:5–10
169
without much background or colorful data, because the explanation

is so basic—so simple.
In a nutshell, Jesus was reported to be in the lineage of the
tribe of Judah. Therefore, according to Torah, he could not have been
(or become) a priest of God! Likewise, he could never have been
referred to as rabbi. That privilege (and responsibility) was reserved
for those from the tribe of Levi.210 Also, Jesus could never be a
mediator for us, our sins, or our supposed lives after this one. That
too was reserved for those descended from the tribe of Levi.
Sorry folks, but Christianity‘s entire doctrinal belief system is
under fire, and there‘s no scriptural authority or reference to counter
the facts. The biblical elite of the present day are the first to state that
biblical scripture is the end-all for proof of God‘s plans and designs.
They further declare that Jesus was who the bible says he was. What
are their defenses going to be, now?
Point Five: Jesus of Nazareth, King of the Jews
In order for him to be considered as an heir to the throne of

Israel, Jesus would have to be from not only the tribe of Judah, but
from the direct lineage of King David. Jesus was no king; but he was
a hell of a pawn! I have listened to preacher after preacher as they‘ve
hemmed and hawed, attempting to make excuses and present
contrived lies for the inconsistencies listed within Jesus‘ genealogy. 211
To date, all explanations have fallen short. They are masters
of presenting material that does not coincide and cannot be recon-
ciled, yet making it appear as if it does. They rely on our delusional
beliefs and our eagerness to be convinced accordingly. It works
almost every time. In the past, there were many times in the I walked
out of a pastor‘s office and felt assured at the answers he‘d given me.
Later in the day, however, I‘d always come to recognize that said
answers had not resolved the issue for me; even though I‘d felt much
better about my questions. Truly, their answers have been no an-
swers at all. They are charlatans and tricksters of the worst kind—
they are religious ones. They are well-versed and well-schooled to fool
not only the masses, but the single, little lost sheep, as well.
210
Christian apologists have begun to state that the word rabbi means nothing more
than teacher and that the term was not reserved exclusively for the priesthood. This
change has taken place within the past seven years; the time I began researching the
matter.
211
Matthew 1:1-17 & Luke 3:23-38
170
As a child I re-read the nativity story. I noticed that the gospel

account of what is referred to as the slaughter of the innocents was
remarkably similar to what I‘d read in the Old Testament about the
birth of Moses. In both instances, thousands of innocent male babies
were butchered. Both infanticides occurred contemporaneous with
the births of Moses and Jesus, respectively. I asked my children‘s
minister, Brother Ronnie Brooks, about the comparison. He told me
that in both situations the Devil had tried to destroy God’s plan.
When I pressed harder, I was rebuked for asking biblical questions.
As an adult, I discovered the answer. The gospel writers plagiarized
the original story from Moses in order to lend credibility to Jesus as a
messianic figure.
However, Christians do not understand that the word messiah
is not defined as ―king.‖ As a whole, Christians do not know how to
properly label Jesus. Was he a priest, prophet, savior, or king? He
can‘t be all; he can only be one. Incidentally, the gospel narrative that
interprets Jesus as the king of the Jews is the same narrative that
mentions the slaughter of the innocents. It has to be one or the other;
not both. It is neither. It is another fraud that was perpetrated by
those who knew nothing about Judaism.
Point Six: Jesus Is God
If Jesus was god-in-the-flesh, why weren‘t his devout followers

spared from civil execution? In the book of Daniel there are two
separate accounts of God‘s protection for his faithful. They are as
follows:
1.When standing firm in his religious service to Jehovah-God,

Daniel was spared from death in the lion‘s den. Yet, thou-
sands of newbie Christians were not given the same relief
when faced by Caesar‘s lion-filled coliseum.
2.Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego were each spared a fiery

death in Nebuchadnezzar‘s furnace. However, millions of
Christians were beheaded, crucified, burnt at stakes, etc. for
their affirmation that Jesus was God. Why the difference?
Was Jesus a different god than Jehovah-God? Or, was Jeho-
vah-God simply bragging about his protective exploits for his
followers? Either the writer of Daniel was lying, or the writers
of the gospels were lying. Somewhere, someone was lying!
171
Point Seven: Jesus Was the Son of God
Let‘s assume for a moment that the gospel story is true. Let‘s
also assume that the ever-faithful disciples of Jesus ran throughout
the countryside of Palestine and screamed from the top of their lungs
that Jesus was a mortal man who was conceived by Jehovah-God. In
all reality, this declaration would not have caught the attention of
Babylonians, Hellenist Jews, or Roman citizens.
Why not?
The concept of a human child being conceived by a god was
nothing new to them. Hercules was fathered by Zeus. Perseus was
fathered by Zeus. Achilles and Dionysus were also fathered by Zeus.
The founders of the Roman Empire, Romullus and Remus, were
fathered by Mars. The list could continue for pages. The concept of a
hero figure, a tragic figure, or a savior figure, whose mortal mother
was impregnated by a god was not unique during those times. As a
matter of fact, many non-famous men and women made the same
claims; whether by local politicians, local scoundrels, local barbers,
etc, the Roman Empire (hell, the known, civilized world) was chock-
full of divine parentages. It wasn‘t impressive in the least. It was
almost passé. It was something that one would have listed on a
résumé, like a summer of volunteer work, but not something one
would mention casually during an introduction.
According to researcher D.M. Murdock, the supposed occur-
rence of being birthed by a god was so common that the word parthe-
nogenesis was coined by scholars.212
As another matter of fact, the New Testament writers kept
throwing into the mix that Jesus was the ―only begotten son‖ of
Jehovah. That implies one of two possibilities. For one, either they
were attempting to tell potential converts that the characters of
Hercules, Perseus, et al were not divinely conceived; thus, rendering
them nonexistent and/or impotent frauds, or they were attempting to
introduce the Hebrew version of Zeus—Jehovah,213 who had no
previous offspring; hence, no previously known mythology. Either
way, the propaganda did not take until several hundred years had
passed (at the Council of Nicaea) and they had little or no ability to
address and denounce the notion of Jesus‘ exclusive divine concep-
tion.
212
Christ in Egypt: The Horus-Jesus Connection; Stellar House Publishers, LLC
© 2009; pp. 141, 143, 145, 147, 148, 149, 154, 158, 161, 162, 163, 228
213
Zeus-Jupiter-Jove-Jehovah
172
Jesus as a Historical Figure
I find it almost embarrassing to mention that Christ was not

Jesus‘ last name, but sadly, many Christians do not know this fact.
Also, Christ was not a term that defined or described a ―supernatural,
God-sent deity.‖ It was a word that meant ―enlightened‖ or ―higher
thinking‖ or ―anointed.‖
One must understand that the idea of the word ―Christ‖ takes
on much more significance than does its proper usage. Paul refers to
Jesus mainly as ―Christ‖ because it was a nominator that amalga-
mated the various pagan (and competing) dying and risen sun-gods
from different cultures. The Old Testament equivalent of the word
―messiah‖ would not have had as much of a colloquial impact on
non-Jewish citizens and potential converts. Ironically in the Old
Testament, Cyrus was called ―the Christ‖ by God even though he was
a Gentile mercenary! In every case, it was a title that one respected,
but did not bow down to.
The writers of the gospels went to great lengths trying to at-
tach supposed characteristics from the Old Testament to establish
validity in the newest version of the dying and rising sun-god—Jesus.
Contrary to popular belief, the writers of the gospels were not the
ones whom we have been told, i.e. Matthew, Mark, Luke, John.
Scholars are fully aware of this assertion. Volumes have been dedi-
cated to such scholarship.
It is apparent that the writers of the New Testament (as well
as Old Testament translators) did not fully understand the customs
and courtesies of Jewish thought and Old Testament life. They
couldn‘t have; the evidence is overwhelming—even from a layperson‘s
view. The writers of the gospels knew very little of Judaism and the
geographical area(s) in which their writings attest.
One such example is: The messiah will come out of Nazareth.
―Jesus of Nazareth‖ is a common moniker for Jesus. I‘ve even used it
a time or two within this book for familiarity. Unbeknownst to born-
again Christians, however, Nazareth was not a province or locale of
Israel. Until circa 500 CE it was never on any map; and no reference
was ever made to it in other rabbinical writings prior.
―Nazareth, Bethlehem, Galilee, Judea—where was Jesus
from? And why can‘t we find it?‖
Emperor Constantine‘s mother traipsed around the Palestini-
an countryside with her entourage—seeking the famed city known as
Nazareth. She never found it. To resolve this theological problem (and
the recurring problem of established tourist sites for pilgrims) the
Holy Roman Empire established the city of Nazareth at her behest.
The word Nazareth was erroneously concocted by the writers
of the New Testament. They failed to understand that for one to be
173
considered a Nazarite one was to be of a particular religious order and

not from a location named Nazareth. Samson was a Nazarite (or
Nazarene). He adhered to certain rituals and observances that others
in his religion did not. The root word nazar is defined as ―separate‖ or
―set apart,‖ i.e. ―set apart from the rest.‖ (Incidentally, that is the
same definition of the word holy.) Even James Strong admits that the
word does not appear in the original, Old Testament text; that it was
introduced by translators.214 What we have is yet another mistransla-
tion of the original text and misunderstandings of the writers. We
have another fraud.
For over three hundred years it has also been well known that
the only secular historical reference to Jesus is a forgery. Dozens of
legitimate and officially recognized historians lived during, and
immediately after, the supposed time of Jesus. It has been taught
extensively that only one such historian ever mentioned Jesus; his
name was Josephus. As stated, his mention of Jesus is the only
historical—secular—record of the life of Jesus. As mentioned pre-
viously, his report was actually not a ―report‖ but a mere notation;
and it was fraudulently added hundreds of years later. This is a well-
known, documented, undisputed, empirical fact. However, ―educated‖
Christian historians and fellow apologists continue to cite this
material as if it were factual even though they know it to be false.
This is not only fraud, it is a lie.
Let‘s examine why this one fact alone is so detrimental to the
Christian myth:
First, it demonstrates the lengths that Christians will go to in
order to validate their faith; even though they themselves are doubt-
ful of it. If they were not doubtful, they‘d merely declare that ―even
though there is no historical evidence of the real life of Jesus, it does
not matter. He lived; his word has lived on, etc…‖
But, no! They continue to submit corrupted data and inten-
tionally false-leading information to promote a person and/or deity‘s
existence in place and fact, when they know it cannot be proven, or
has not been proven, to date. One should recognize that if they are
willing to lie to their congregations on this one matter alone, how
much more are they willing to lie to save their religion, your faith,
and the power they wield over their congregations?
The weapons of mass destruction debacle that formed the
excuse for the War in Iraq is a tremendous example. Donald Rums-
feld, a born-again Christian and the Secretary of Defense at the time,
said that though he could not prove it; he felt it—Sadam Hussein had
214
Strong, James. Strong‘s Exhaustive Concordance of the Bible. Peabody, MA:
Hendrickson Publishers, No publication date.
174
weapons of mass destruction. He continued to state that the threat

from Iraq was ―imminent.‖ As the example demonstrates, empirical
knowledge was not enough; only ―faith in knowing‖ was good enough.
Rumsfeld was wrong. So are Christian apologists and church leaders
who continue to use the erroneous Josephus information as a basis
of proof that Jesus existed.
It is not the lack of evidence that one should be concerned
with; it is the abundance of negative evidence that‘s presented. With
the existence of Jesus as a living, breathing, historical figure, howev-
er, the negative evidence is overwhelming.
Rome was always suspicious of the inhabitants of Palestine.
Prior to the annual Passover events, word spread like wildfire of the
hope of an expected messianic figure that might come and liberate
the Jewish people. The garrisons were on full alert during those
times. The Diaspora would return from all across the Roman Empire
three times a year for religious holy days. Pilgrims swelled the streets;
civic and religious services were strained past full capacity. With
millions returning to their promised land, along with talk of a hopeful
messiah, the Roman Guard remained on high alert. First-century,
Roman reports of rabble-rousers are easily collectable to this day.
Sedition and revolt terrified the Romans. They would have been
greatly outnumbered. In anticipation of the worst, they would have
been excessively staffed, heavily armed and overly alert. But they
made no mention of the one who performed any of the following
miracles, according to biblical scripture:
1. Jesus could raise men from the dead. What would a military
leader do with the report of a man, purported to be either the
expected messianic leader or rightful king of a bothersome
people, who could raise his warriors from the dead on the
battlefield?
2. Jesus performed healing miracles. He could heal his

wounded soldiers and fellow countrymen. Roman weapons
would have been rendered useless.
3. Jesus could feed thousands of people on mere morsels. Im-

agine a military commander who did not have to worry about
feeding his soldiers. No soldiers would have to guard and de-
fend supply lines, grain shipments, etc. A major counter-
military strategy is to attempt to break an opponent‘s supply
lines, then attack.
4. Jesus turned water into wine. What else could Jesus have
created from water? Gas lamp oil? Burning tar?
175
5. Jesus coined money miraculously. If he could order a fish to

produce gold coins for taxes, the number of weapons and
chariots he could buy would be innumerable.
According to the evidences above, there is no doubt in my

mind that the Roman government would have had its eyes on Jesus
every single day during his ministry. There most definitely would
have been records. However, Josephus was the only historian to
make mention of Jesus; and it was a later-inserted fraud.
I‘ve heard three television preachers make mention of this dis-
crepancy. Each one cited other fraudulent records for the physical
existence of Jesus. Jan Crouch once stated boldly that temple
records included the signature of Jesus. Apparently, he ―signed in‖
on an official registry before he recited the famous Isaiah material.
However, no records of visiting speakers were kept by the temple
priests. The televangelist failed to read her bible, because the text
clearly states that Jesus read aloud at a synagogue, not at Herod‘s
Temple. Incidentally, oratory engagement was a right that was solely
reserved for priests—from the tribe of Levi.
When dealing with false information, unintentional error or
outright lies from Christian apologists, one should be reminded that
―…to which it is generally believed that there is no certain answer to
be given, tradition or conjecture being all that is ever alleged.‖ 215
Which is a polite way of saying, ―They make shit up.‖
Jesus as a Solar Figure
Drew Carey once quipped, ―Christianity is the only religion

that needs mascots.‖ The comedian‘s words were as humorous as
they were true. On the television show Friends, Ross once attempted
to create a mascot for Hanukkah in an attempt to capture his son‘s
interest from Christianity‘s Santa Claus. Ross failed. The Hanukkah
Aardvark did not catch on.
But to Christians the world over, Santa Claus and the Easter
Bunny are well-known characters that capture every little tyke‘s
attention. Unfortunately, Christians are concerned only with appear-
ances and not with substance. The nativity scene is a sounding board
for them, though they know not what they sound off about.
215
Dobin, Joel C. Kabbalistic Astrology. Rochester, MA: Inner Traditions, Inc., 1999.
176
Didn‘t Jesus state to the lady at the well, ―…ye know not what
ye worship…?‖216
Twentieth-century anthropologist Joseph Campbell once
asked, ―Where are the mythologies of today?‖
Campbell answered his own question by stating that they
were in the Star Wars-saga. I believe that he was partly correct.
However, he failed to mention comic book stories, recurring television
series, movies, etc. that have captured the psyches of the masses and
have earned billions of dollars.
What has happened with comic book, television/movie, and li-
terary characters at present, the same happened with the mytholo-
gies of the past. Mythological characters became deified, they became
real to the social psyche—they fueled the existing archetypes and
transmitted themselves to humankind via the collective unconscious.
To make such a trek, archetypical powers must present themselves
in formats that humans recognize as mere fantasy.
In fact, prior to the release of the movie Superman Returns,
movie critiques and focus groups reviewed the movie. Almost all
uncannily stated that Superman (as depicted in the story) was a
thinly-veiled caricature of Jesus Christ. The same happened during
the pre-release of the last three Star Wars films with regard to Anakin
Skywalker/Darth Vader, as well as the first three Star Wars films
with respect to Luke Skywalker.
Of course, everyone knows the Robin Hood myth; he is as
much of an archetype as is Jesus. Robin accompanied merry men,
whereas Jesus had disciples; he had Maid Marian217 and Jesus had
Virgin Mary, Mary Magdalene, and Martha and Mary; Little John was
easily John the Baptist, the sheriff of Nottingham being Pilot/Herod,
and Will Scarlet was Judas. Robin Hood is the Prince of Thieves;
Jesus will return as ―a thief in the night.‖218 Robin Hood ―stole from
the rich to give to the poor.‖ Jesus brought the gospel to the poor,
bypassing the wealthy and righteous.
The figure of Jesus Christ consolidated all of the earlier pa-
gan myths of the archetype the dying-and-risen-sun-god. Even before
Constantine legalized Christianity and amalgamated the pagan
mythologies into it, John the Beloved had already set things in
motion. The book of Revelation was an excellent tool for the moment-
216
John 4:22
217
The words Maid Marian and Virgin Mary are synonymous. A maiden is a virgin—
always! Marian is the original name Mary.
218
1 Thessalonians 5:2 and 2 Peter 3:10
177
ous job at hand. In spite of the bulk of Christian doctrine, the com-
peting pagans found a very compelling—and familiar—story.
Christian end-of-times doctrine (as presented within the Book
of Revelations) promises that Jesus (the son of god) will return from
his sojourn in heaven while riding a white horse. He will destroy the
beast (Satan) that rises out of the sea and rescue his virgin bride (the
church), who is dressed in white (virginal), at the last moment. He
will reign over his kingdom forever.
That same, exact scenario was already well known to those of
contemporaneous, pagan cultures. I prefer Greek mythology, so I‘ll
compare and contrast it with the Christian story from the book of
Revelation. To do so I‘ll refer to a wonderful movie titled Clash of the
Titans. The movie starred Harry Hamlin, as Perseus and Laurence
Olivier as Zeus.
At the end of the movie, Perseus (the son of Zeus) rides atop
his winged, white horse, Pegasus. He holds the decapitated head of
Medusa (the whore of Babylon). He kills the Kraken (the beast) as it
rises from the sea to devour the virginal, princess bride of Joppa (the
church).
The cinematic depiction of Perseus, his trials and labors, his
temporal conquest and rescued bride are eerily clear-cut when
compared with the written, biblical prophecy of the return of Jesus.
This coincidence is not exclusive to Greek mythology. One must
simply read any codex of mythologies to recognize the same charac-
178
ters and story. The evidence is overwhelming and undeniable—unless

the reader is a Christian. For some reason, the Catholic Church
makes no apology for the comparisons of Jesus Christ alongside the
pagan figures of dying and risen sun-gods from the past. The Catho-
lic Church has uncharacteristically presented material in support of
this effort; whereas the Protestant church acts as if the same materi-
al is completely erroneous and systematically manufactured.
Let‘s examine for a moment the gifts of divine temper that the
gods of Olympus gave to Perseus for his trials: helmet of invisibility;
sword that could cut through any object, yet would never dull; magic
shield that shone like a glass mirror, an owl that would give him all-
knowledge, a flying horse.
Now, let‘s examine the armor that Paul says Christians are to
receive from God:
...be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put

on the full armour of God so that you can take your
stand against the devil's schemes. For our struggle is
not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers,
against the authorities, against the powers of this dark
world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the
heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armour of
God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be
able to stand your ground, and after you have done
everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of
truth buckled round your waist, with the breastplate
of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with
the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In
addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with
which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the
evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of
the Spirit, which is the word of God.219
Isn‘t this comparison eerily similar to the armor Perseus re-

ceived, and for the same reasons? 220
Post- and pre-Nicene missionaries were frustrated with the
fact that no matter where they went to tell of the good news of Jesus
Christ, the recipients were unimpressed. The local townsfolk would
simply take the Christian missionaries a street or two over, enter at
temples to their local dying and risen sun-gods, i.e. Tammuz, Per-
219
Ephesians 6:10–17 (NIV)
220
See Appendix C
179
seus, Mithras, (the list goes on and on) and tell them the exact same
story! The only difference was that the mythological figures they
worshiped existed prior (as in centuries) to the reported time of
Jesus.
Centuries later, Christian missionaries broke into a secluded
and underdeveloped village in western China. They were the first
Christian missionaries to ever have arrived. With their interpreter,
they began to tell the villagers about the gospel account of Jesus.
One old lady with no teeth and weighing no more than eighty pounds
began to interrupt the translator. She squeaked and squalled in her
native language. The interpreter and English-speaking missionaries
continued. The old lady became more and more excitable; she nearly
drowned out the message being given.
Finally, one of the missionaries asked the interpreter, ―Why is
she doing this? Why is she interrupting? She‘s getting louder and
louder…‖
The interpreter replied, ―She keeps saying that she knows
this story…she says that you‘re using the wrong name…‖
―What?‖
The interpreter repeated the old woman‘s words. The missio-
naries confirmed the location of the Chinese village. They each
concluded that, according to their records, no other missionaries had
ever been within hundreds of miles of where they stood. They pressed
the uneducated, poverty-stricken lady harder.
She told them that her grandmother had already told the sto-
ry to their village decades prior. She said that the name was a well-
known, pagan deity known to her grandmother and others before her.
She then began to continue the story from where the missionaries
had left off.
―How did your grandmother know this story?‖
The old woman pointed upward and out of the slit used for
the mud-hut‘s doorway. She looked upward and stated, ―My grand-
mother taught me to read it in the stars, during the nighttime sky…‖
Though the Chinese woman did not know it, she described
the very last scene of the movie Clash of the Titans. In the scene,
Zeus, being so pleased with his son, said he would arrange the stars
in heaven so that every generation and culture would know the story
of Perseus.
If born-again Christians refuse to be convinced by the words
of Zeus, maybe the words of the god of the bible will suffice.
Jehovah decreed:
And when you look up into the sky and see the sun,
moon, and stars-all the forces of heaven-don't be se-
duced by them and worship them. The Lord your God
180
designated these heavenly bodies for all the peoples of

the earth.221
After further interrogation, the missionaries re-packed their

gear and departed without finishing their version of the story about
Jesus. Their proselytism attempts had failed. Why? Because the good
news of Jesus Christ was never considered ―news‖ by any culture
they reached. Incidentally, the Christian missionaries kept the name
of the astral deity a secret till their individual deaths.
I find this story remarkable because modern-day Protestant
Christians move past somewhat contemporaneous examples such as
this. They reach farther back in time to the first Christian missiona-
ries for an answer—disregarding the evidence immediately in front of
them. Protestant Christians will cite Justyn Martyr as their end-all
answer to this plaguing conundrum. Martyr stated that the Devil, in
anticipation of the arrival of Jesus, went to every culture on earth
and plagiarized the gospel story beforehand in order to confuse
Christians. This defense is presented whenever local preachers have
to contend with members of their congregations who come across
similar information that causes their faith to waiver.
However, local pastors and leading Christian authorities err
when citing Martyr as an end-all explanation. They will intentionally
fail to cite their buddy, Paul of Tarsus. Paul said that if the demons of
hell had known that Jesus was going to rise from the dead, they
never would‘ve let him have gone to the cross.222 Since the demons
(and their boss, the Devil)223 did not know that Jesus would rise from
the dead, they could not have counterfeited the story beforehand.
Biblical evidence has damned them again! Ha!
This is the sole reason why the Levite priesthood prohibited
the Hebrews from using divination and astrology, and could not ask
neighboring cultures how they worshiped their gods. These prohibi-
tions were precursors to the Holy Roman Church‘s ―execute them all;
burn all the libraries, flatten the temples, etc.‖ approach to pagan
cultures and pagan worship—to dispose of the evidence and elimi-
nate the ones who knew the evidence; (hence, the Dark Ages.)
221
Deuteronomy 4:19
222
1 Corinthians 2:8
223
The text states ―princes of this world‖ although Christian apologists will state that
princes of this world are the demons of Satan.
181
The New Testament accounts were wonderfully concocted to

deceive future generations of the Roman Empire. Though there are
too many to list within this body of work, the most often misunders-
tood account is mentioned in the book of Acts. It addresses the
disciples and their ability to ―speak in tongues.‖
According to the account, the disciples/apostles were
anointed with the Holy Spirit during the Jewish festival of Pentecost.
They spoke to the masses in a language that all understood, regard-
less of their nationality or linguistic origins. Despite the obvious
language barriers, they easily accepted the story of Jesus and con-
verted immediately.224
Contrary to the biblical account, this was no miracle. All
Christian denominations differ in their summations about the validity
of ―speaking in tongues.‖ Some will attest that the phenomenon of
speaking in tongues was a miracle of the tongue; differing opinions
will argue that it was a miracle of the ear. Volumes of debate have
been published on the varying semantic ramblings of Christian
scholars and authorities. All the while they‘ve continued to miss the
point. According to them, the miracle that one could speak one
language, and be understood in a listener‘s native and differing
language, lends itself to the validity of Jehovah‘s empirical design, the
power of the Holy Spirit, and the authenticity of the deification of
Jesus Christ. Each pretense is as absurd as the others.
In reality, only one word can be uttered that makes complete,
verifiable sense of the biblical account in the book of Acts. There is
only one word that can easily encapsulate a situation where everyone
heard it, and everyone fully understood the life story of Jesus Christ,
regardless of multiple language barriers. That one word is Astrothe-
ology.
When the masses heard the story of Jesus Christ, they heard
the story of each of their own culture‘s dying and risen sun-god.
There was no need to repeat any part of the story; they‘d all heard it
before. As will be addressed in this chapter, Astrotheology was the
entirety of the miracle that ―all men heard in his own tongue (lan-
guage).‖ Said language was the zodiac.
Even Paul, during his address to Festus, was told, ―…much
learning has made you mad.‖225 Yes. Much learning of other cultures
and mythologies. Yes—Astrotheology!
224
If this is true, as many profess to be true today, why do Christian missionaries
need translators? Ha!
225
Acts 25:19–32
182
Billy Graham used to proclaim, ―The Old Testament looked

forward to the cross. The New Testament looks back to the cross.‖
He was correct; though not in the manner that he believed.
The prevalence of the story told by Astrotheology was presented in
the Old Testament and as equally as in the New Testament.
God promised Abraham, “Look now toward heaven, and tell
the stars, if thou be able to number them: and he said unto him, So
shall thy seed be.”226
Zionists and Christian fundamentalists suppose that this
edict confirms that Abraham‘s offspring will be so numerous that he
could not count them. However, after closer examination, one must
realize that the word used for numbered and tell is not a word that is
defined as ―determining a particular number, or sum.‖ It is a census
term, therefore not an accounting term; it is a word that means
aligned or counted as in ―arranged in succession.‖227 In essence,
God‘s promise to Abraham should read, “Your seed will reflect the
story told in the zodiac (Hebrew: Mazzaroth).”
It does.
From Abraham‘s loins, the Hebrew nation was formed. His
grandson Israel (Jacob) had twelve sons. Each son issued forth a
tribe. Hence, there were twelve tribes of Israel. Consider the following:
The constellation Ophiuchus (serpent bearer) was re-

moved from the zodiac. He was replaced by breaking
Virgo in two and creating Libra in his stead.
The tribe of Levi was removed from the twelve tribes
and was replaced with Ephraim and Manasseh by
breaking the tribe of Joseph in two.
Judas was removed as an apostle; he was replaced by
Matthias and Paul.
According to the twelve gods of Olympus, Hades was
removed and was replaced by Dionysus and Hestia.
There are thirteen new moons (lunar cycles) per solar
year.228
226
Genesis 15:5
227
To inscribe, and also to enumerate. Hebrew: sāpar (Strong‘s 5608), pronounced
phonetically saw-far‘
228
See Appendix D
183
Does anyone notice a running theme? Regardless of the my-

thology or religion, twelve exists, one is removed and one is split in
two to make up a thirteenth. I have no doubt that the number thirteen
was once considered to be a holy numeral.
Without a doubt, the bible is more about astrology than it is
about the authority of Jehovah or the divinity of Jesus. It, too, is a
book of psychology and sociology, much more than it is a book about
Jehovah.
The veneration of the zodiac is the origin of all the mythologies
of the world. It has been for every period in history. Jews call it
Mazzaroth. Christians call it astrology. Scholars call it archaeo-
astronomy or astrotheology. In essence, astrotheology is the worship
of the stars, i.e., the deification of planets and stars. It venerates the
zodiac‘s storyboard depiction of the sun; its life, trials, and triumphs
while traveling throughout each constellation. In its travels, the sun
is born of a virgin229 in the constellation Virgo. It ends its predeter-
mined course annually by returning as a lion in the constellation Leo.
In essence, as the calendar year progresses, the sun ceases to
rise as high as it did the previous day. From the horizon, it appears
as if the sun is dying; it barely rises above the horizon. The days get
shorter; the nights longer. The cold winter season begins; warmth
and light seem nothing more than a memory. On December 21st of
every year, at the Winter Solstice, 230 the sun stops moving for three
days. It doesn‘t climb higher or dip lower than the days before. This
celestial anomaly happens every year from December 21st through
December 24th. During this three-day event, the sun rests (dies) in
the constellation known as the Southern Cross. After the third day
(December 25th), the sun moves exactly one degree northward; thus
ending the cycle. It climbs daily to higher degrees; making each day
longer and warmer.
This was the story of Jesus. He was the son of god 231 and the
sun of righteousness.232 He died on the cross. In three days he rose
229
One of the many misconceptions about both the gospel in the stars, i.e., astrothe-
ology, and the myth of the birth of Jesus is that of the virgin birth. Stated biblically, the
virgin was Israel! A few supporting verses follows: Amos 5:2, Isaiah 7:14–16,
Jeremiah 14:17, Jeremiah 31:4 & 21, Joel 1:8, and 2 Kings 19:21
230
Solstice is defined as ―sun stops‖ or ―sun stands‖.
231
Matthew 14:33, Matthew 27:54, Mark 1:1, Mark 15:39 , Romans 1:4, John 1:34,
John 1:49, John 11:27, John 20:31, Acts 9:20, Galatians 2:20, Hebrews 4:14,
Hebrews 6:6, Hebrews 7:3, Hebrews 10:29, 1 John 3:8, 1 John 4:15, 1 John 5:1, 1
John 5:5, 1 John 5:10, 1 John 5:13, 1 John 5:20, 2 Corinthians 1:19, Revelation 2:18
184
from the dead. The constellation of Sagittarius shoots his bow and
arrow; piercing the savior in the side. This occurs during the sign of
Capricorn. Capricorn is a goat. (Remember the sacrificial goat for the
Day of Atonement?) Three brightly-lit stars on the belt of Orion point
the way to the Southern Cross—the three kings, aka the three Wise
Men. Outshining them all is the bright star Sirius—the star of
Bethlehem. It‘s quite a scene. It‘s one that can be witnessed every
year with the naked eye. It‘s one that naked eyes have watched for
millennia; and Christian eyes have ignored.
Another fact they have ignored are the births of John the
Baptist and Jesus the Christ. According to the gospel of Luke, John
was conceived, and then born, six months prior to Jesus. Since
Jesus‘ birthday is at the winter solstice, that places John‘s birthday
at the summer solstice. If one follows Torah, one knows that John the
Baptist was actually supposed to have been the rightful High Priest of
Israel. Likewise, Jesus was supposed to have been the King of Israel.
High Priest equates naturally with the summer solstice, i.e., the sun
is at its apogee. King equates naturally with the winter solstice, i.e.,
the sun is at its perigee.
Perseus, Horus, Mithras, Dionysus, Jesus—they‘re all one in
the same. The only difference is that different cultures have different
languages; thus, different names. All over the globe, from all periods
of time, people have looked up to the stars and read the story of the
son/sun of God. The only difference is that our society has been
cheated from this wonder due to the library-burning, culture-
quenching, power-hungry, all-or-nothing Christian church.233
Degreed pastors know these facts. They will not repeat them
to their congregations. They will do as Jehovah and proclaim that
astrologers (observers of times) are to be put to death. By his own
admission, Jehovah was so jealous that he also forbade his people to
ask their neighboring cultures how they worshiped their gods. 234 His
reasoning was the same as the local preacher: neither wants their
followers to know the truth.
But Jesus said, ―…and the truth shall make you free.‖235
232
Malachi 4:2
233
See Appendix E
234
Exodus 32:1–6
235
John 8:32
185
With knowledge comes power. With power comes freedom.

With freedom comes smaller donations and a loss of the church‘s
income.
When the newly-emancipated children of Israel waited for
Moses to return from the mountain, they grew fearful. They imme-
diately melted their jewelry and formed a golden calf. They worshiped
the idol as they had in Egypt.236 When Moses returned he was
furious. He called for the immediate execution of the worshipers of
the sacred cow. He later demonstrated to them that the Age of Taurus
(bull) had passed; Mithras the Bull-slayer was no more. The celestial
Age of Aries (ram) was upon them. There had to be changes in
worship and ritual role playing. Hence, the tablets of the new law and
the sacrificing of rams were demanded.
When the Age of Aries (ram) was over, the Age of Pisces (fish)
was introduced. The religious leaders of Judaism did not reject
Christianity because they were confused by the preceding, pagan
construct of the Jesus figure. They did not reject it because they had
a closely-held, reverent relationship with Jehovah. They rejected the
Piscean form of worship because the priesthood and religious-elite
were sure to lose power, prestige, and money. That was it solely; it
was nothing more and nothing less.
The Judaic leaders of yesteryear are no different than the
Christian leaders of today. Power, prestige, and money trumps all
else. Over 2,600 years from now when the religious body of the Age of
Aquarius (water bearer) passes the mantle to those in the Age of
Capricorn (goat), resistance will ensue for the same reasons: power,
prestige, and money.
When the official church and religious rulers of the day
(Rome) obliterated Jewish society and (more importantly) its temple,
it was reminiscent of when the Jews destroyed Egypt. It‘s about to
happen again. We are embarking on yet another ecclesiastical change
at present. We anxiously await the Age of Aquarius. The established
controllers of the Age of Pisces are sure to repeat the patterns that
were set before them; they will not go quietly. There will be no easy
changing of the guard. The Christian church will go out kicking and
screaming. It has already lost much of its hold on the masses. The
devil/church knows that its time is short.237
236
This is a remarkable story. Humans often return to (or remain in) the religion of our
upbringing, the abusive spouse, the bad job, etc. when we are fearful and terrified of
potential problems. The bible is full of psychology!
237
Revelation 12:12
186
Born-again Christians are known for their stubbornness and

shortsightedness. Throughout this book I have demonstrated that
they care only about the appearance of piety, while shunning the
substance of their faith. I beg them to consider the biblical evidence
below; and to commit to further, earnest research regarding astrothe-
ology.
Herein lays the single-most important challenge any born-
again Christian can accept:
―...if Christ be not risen, then our preaching is in vain,

and your faith is also in vain. Yea, and we are found
false witnesses of God…and if Christ be not raised,
your faith is vain; ye are yet in your sins.‖ 238
If Jesus Christ was a living, breathing man who was fathered

by Jehovah-God, and if he died on a cross and rose from the dead,
then there is nothing to fear. Your faith would be valid. However, the
information I present in this chapter easily demonstrates that Jesus
Christ never lived. And if he did, he could not have been the son of
God. Thus, he could never have been resurrected from the dead.
More importantly, he could not have died for our sins.
As Paul stated, ―…your faith is in vain; ye are yet in your
sins.‖
Paul later made a rather curious statement to the same con-
gregation. He wrote:
―For if he who comes preaches another Jesus who we

have not preached…you may well put up with it!‖ 239
This is a tenuous statement. Any Christian leader will admit

that the Christian church is a design of Paul, not Peter and certainly
not Jesus. Peter followed Torah; Jesus cared about people; Paul
cared about doctrine and liturgy. Those are undisputed facts. Howev-
er, the apostle Paul made a valid point for equal consideration of
Astrotheology as opposed to newfound Christianity, solely. He said
that it was certainly alright to accept ―another Jesus‖ should one be
presented to you. That more than implies that Jesus Christ was not a
physical, factual, human being. In reality, Paul stepped right into the
conundrum of Perseus vs. Jesus.
238
1 Corinthians 15:14, 15, & 17
239
2 Corinthians 11:4
187
Paul stated elsewhere against a historical Jesus of Nazareth,
―But shun profane and vain babblings: for they will in-
crease unto more ungodliness. And their word will eat
as doth a canker: of whom is Hymenaeus and Philetus;
Who concerning the truth have erred, saying that the
resurrection is past already; and overthrow the faith of
some.‖240
In essence, Paul of Tarsus called out two young preachers,

Hymenaeus and Philetus, who were preaching that the resurrection
of Jesus Christ was a one-time event in the past. In essence, they
taught that there was a historical Jesus Christ of Nazareth who had
been crucified to death, then was resurrected bodily. Paul said that
such a preaching was wrong, and would spread like a cancer! (So, all
of you learned and controversial author‘s who state that Paul had no
knowledge of a historical Jesus, you are in error! Ha!) Yes, Paul‘s
Jesus was figurative, solely.
In essence, Paul gave his newfound converts permission to
keep any dying and risen sun-god they chose, as long as they kept
his liturgical and doctrinal instructions intact. That in itself validates
my premise that Jesus Christ was nothing more than a mythological
character!
The reader should consider another famous scripture con-
cerning Paul and his belief in Jesus. In the book of Acts, Paul gave
two recitations of his conversion experience. He stated that he saw a
bright light, was blinded; and received admonition, then instruction,
from Jesus.241
Paul‘s account seems spurious. Jesus warned his disciples
about people claiming to see or hear from him. He told them that
there would be impersonations and boastful claims. He added that
they would show signs and wonders; such as a flash of blinding light
and booming voices. He further warned that if someone says that
Jesus is here, or there, do not bother to go; it would not be him. 242
With the three examples listed above, every born-again
Christian must decide whether or not they are going to believe that
Paul was actually a legitimate apostle of Jesus Christ. If he was, then
240
2 Timothy 2:16–18
241
Acts 9:1-6 & 22:9
242
Matthew 24:23-28
188
his words must stand; your faith is in vain because Jesus was not
raised from the dead and it‘s okay to merely pick-and-choose which
Christ-figure you want to keep. Or, one must choose the obverse and
admit that Paul was not an apostle of Jesus; therefore everything
practiced by the Christian church is unsanctioned and your attempt
for salvation is in vain. Either way, you lose! Which will it be?
* * *
The question begs to be asked, ―At what point did the ancients
begin to believe their myths to be real?‖
I‘d love to be able to report that after the Christian church ob-
literated the learning centers, pagan hotspots, burned libraries, and
executed heretics people began to believe the myths to have been
real. But, I cannot. I have to admit that all ancient peoples of anti-
quated lands (yes, pagans and Hebrews, alike) believed the myths
and the anthropomorphized, 243 mythological figures to be real—since
the very beginning. The masses always believed; whereas the in-
itiated, enlightened leaders knew the myths to be nothing more than
Astrotheology.
The masses (many) believe the exoteric; the enlightened (few)
understand the esoteric. The initiated were always fewer in number.
The same is true, today. Educated, sophisticated, modern-day,
mainstream society is virtually no different than their Stone Age
predecessors. The only difference is that we patronizingly view
mythology as ―other people‘s religion.‖ 244 Born-again Christians fail to
see the mythologies that are imbedded within their own religion.
Christianity is no different than the pagan mythologies of yesteryear.
It is no better-off than its pagan contemporaries or predecessors. Like
neo-pagans,245 Christians have always loved pageantry and myth
more than realization and truth. It‘s always been that way. It always
will be.
This book, along with hundreds of other, more scholarly
books, movies, and live, on-stage debates will never sway the
masses—not one iota. This book differs from the rest because I
introduce biblical misunderstandings rather than biblical compilation
243
Anthropomorphize: To give human attributes to a nonhuman object. Such modern-
day examples include Bugs Bunny, Mickey Mouse, and Wal-Mart‘s rollback Smiley
Face, to name only three.
244
Joseph Campbell
245
and Trekkies
189
and history. I introduce, whereas others have not, efforts and at-
tempts to live a Christian life. Most, if not all, previous authors of
these topics present academic discourse and scholarly research, as
opposed to issues of doctrine and liturgy. Regardless, this book will
not change the minds of the masses. None will.
I used to ponder why the ancients, with their acute astrologi-
cal, agricultural, and architectural knowledge, could be so mentally
retarded as to think that the sun would actually die—never rise
again—unless bonfires and sacrifices were offered. I soon noticed my
own preoccupation with The Weather Channel.
Today we sit in warm homes, with central air conditioning and
heat, we have water-resistant clothes and shoes, we ride in cars as
opposed to riding horseback, we no longer work in fields, but in well-
constructed, weather-opposing buildings. We get our food easily from
grocery stores, as opposed to tilling the ground ourselves. We merely
flick a switch to find light; in the past, we stumbled in the dark to
find candles or light torches with flint rocks. We now have immediate
access to science and medicine; demons have been replaced by
bacteria, germs, viruses. Mental illness and biological disorders have
replaced evil spirits.
I had to come to terms with the fact that having cited all of the
examples above, our society (myself included) remains glued to
television sets—watching weather reports. We tell our children that
(even though there is no biblical precedent) it is a sin to waste food.
We act as if our lives are surely over when we get a cold or other mild,
seasonal illness. All of these behaviors are nothing more than the
silent, subconscious recalling of race memories. They reflect the
harsh lives and dire circumstances of those who lived before us. We
also receive other direction and instruction from those of the past—
their superstitions and mythologies.
The ancients believed, as we have been told, that yes, the sun
would die if bonfires were not lit in its honor; that new clothes and
painted eggs would cause springtime to return; et cetera. If they did
not believe such things, i.e., if they revered the seasonal pageants
and celebrations as times of relaxation and storytelling solely, then
why did each culture develop and promote mystery schools? Interest-
ing thought, huh? While the masses (of all ages and socio-economic
classes) were practicing the exoteric expressions of their reli-
gious/mythological beliefs, e.g., dancing naked around bonfires or
offering tithes to the local temples, initiates of mystery schools were
learning about the esoteric truths of their religion/mythology, e.g.,
comparing and contrasting the figurative experiences with literal,
celestial happenings. This has to be true definitively, else, why would
mystery schools have existed? There would be no need for them if the
masses knew the truth of their religions all-along.
190
The masses have always readily accepted folklore and mytho-

logical tales, i.e., the exoteric. Only certain individuals receive bursts
of curiosity, coupled with enlightenment, i.e., the esoteric. It has
always been that way; it remains that way today. Herd mentality
makes one willing to accept and believe anything that is comfortable
and convenient—even when it concerns something as important as a
relationship with, or knowledge of, the divine. Religious genealogies
are no different.
As a pertinent, pop culture example:

Good Times was a spin-off series of the television show
Maude; Maude was a spin-off of All in the Family. If one watched
Good Times and enjoyed its plot, characters, etc, one would not make
a direct correlation to the show All in the Family, i.e., there would be
no apparent (or direct) lineage. However, if it had not been for All in
the Family, there would not have been a television show known as
Good Times; thus, no Maude.
After this simile has been considered, and then accepted by
the reader, one must go farther back in history to the origins of All in
the Family which was a remake of a television show in England, titled
Till Death Do Us Part. If there had not been the original show in
England there would not have been All in the Family in America;
thus, no Maude, and no Good Times; let‘s not forget The Jeffersons.
Guess what? The above is exactly how the religions of the
world operate. Metaphorically, the original show in England is
comparable to the theory of Astrotheology—the worship of celestial
caricatures. Once they became venerated, they were deified, i.e., they
were anthropomorphized into personalities and actual beings—each
with its own particular form of worship. This surmises the similarities
of religious pantheons from different cultures. Each had distinct
correlations and direct lineage to predeceasing origins of which the
practitioner was not privy. Isis in one culture grew into Ishtar in
another; and Ishtar became Venus in another culture; and so on.
Though over time the characteristics varied, due to growth, local
culture, and distance it is universally recognizable that Venus owed
her life to Ishtar; and Ishtar‘s to Isis, and so on.
If it were not for the Roman Catholic Church and the Roman
Empire, we would not have the knowledge of Christianity (nor of
Judaism) that we have today. One must remember that Constantine
did not have an epiphany of Jesus while on the battlefield. Contrary
to popular assertions, he did not see a crucifix or cross superimposed
191
onto the sun. Instead, he had a vision of a ―Chi‖246 that overlapped

the sun. His decision to convert to Christianity was not based on a
Pauline-type, Damascus Road experience, as has been suggested. He
merely had a revelation that was political and economic in nature—
not one that was religious or spiritual.
The once-great Roman Empire was in disarray. Constant bat-
tles with neighboring lands and marauders had taken their toll. War
and conquest were expensive. Empiric stability was more expensive.
Due to the growing influence of Christianity, taxes and monetary
tribute had reached ever-decreasing amounts. The local gold- and
silversmiths, along with other craftsmen, were going out of busi-
ness—fewer and fewer idols to Jupiter and his pantheon were being
commissioned. Thus, taxes, temple fees, and other revenue were not
reaching the government treasuries as they had in the past. Partici-
pation at all of the various temples had dwindled; religious and
ceremonial supplies purchased by individuals had diminished. Even
Paul reported this when he mentioned that parchments of magical
writings for an entire town were burned en masse after his evangelis-
tic efforts.
The Christian reader must acknowledge that Roman govern-
ment and Greco-Roman culture was very tolerant of neighboring and
lesser-known religions. As long as the official pantheon was recog-
nized as valid, and as long as Caesar was recognized as a god-man,
Rome could have cared less about a newfound religion such as
Christianity.
The contributing factors to Rome‘s initial rejection of Chris-
tianity were threefold. They were:
 Christianity was an offshoot of Judaism, which had at-

tempted several revolts and secessions.
 Christians did not acknowledge the divinity of Caesar.
 Christianity did not support the Roman economy by

way of religious supplies and temple worship.
To keep his grip on the Roman Empire, Constantine could

just as easily have recognized Tammuz, Mithras, Horus, et al as the
officially sanctioned religion. But those pagan mysteries had been
around for millennia, as they were at that time. He had to get Chris-
tian money into the treasury and Christian allegiance for himself.
246
The Greek alphabet for Chi is Χ. It resembles the English X but it is not; instead, it
has a strong ―ch‖ sound, as would be used in pronouncing ―Bach.‖
192
One could have feigned allegiance to an officially sanctioned pan-

theon, for mere survival, but one who would feign such acceptance
would remain reticent in purchasing idols, participating in temple
worship, or in civil-supported festivals.
If he had not been successful in establishing Christianity as
Rome‘s official religion, the Western world today would be dominated
by a wholly different mythological figure; Jesus would be unknown to
us; we would have churches dedicated to Thor or Apollo. However, if
Jesus were not the mythological, anthropomorphized character at the
center; the religious practice would still be the same.
* * *
Two bittersweet examples of refusing to believe in Astrotheolo-

gy follow:
During the mid-1970s my grandmother took me to various

churches that were holding revivals. One commonly preached sermon
at the time was of a son who had sinned against his family in some
manner. The story mirrored the parable of the prodigal son, but was
set in a ―real life‖247 scenario. The story stated that the son had
contacted his family after a number of years and attempted reconcili-
ation. According to the plan, he was going to return to town on a bus.
If (when the bus passed his parent‘s house) a yellow ribbon was tied
around an oak tree on his parents‘ front lawn, he‘d know it was
alright to get off the bus and return home. Of course, the story
concluded with every street along the bus route being tied with yellow
ribbons. Each time the story was preached, it was reported to have
been a true story.
Though I was only eight years old at the time, I told my
grandmother that the numerous sermons we‘d heard about the
yellow ribbon were not true, but were plagiarized from a song by Tony
Orlando and Dawn. She balked.
―No,‖ she instructed, ―you have it in reverse. The song came
from the sermons.‖
Neither of us knew it at the time, but her assertion was the
epitome of Justyn Martyr‘s pronouncement.
The second sermon-turned-urban-legend from about the
same time has been rediscovered by television preachers, and as of
this writing, is being preached from pulpits to television screens. The
suggestive story tells of a five-year-old who wandered away from
247
Euhemerism: interpretation of myths as traditional accounts of historical persons
and events; www.Merriam-Webster.com
193
home. As he stood on a public sidewalk, a fireman approaches and

asks him why he‘s standing all alone.
―I‘m lost,‖ replies the little boy.
The fireman asks, ―What‘s your address?‖
―I don‘t know my address.‖
―Then how are you going to find your way home?‖
―The cross!‖ The little boy exclaims, ―I‘ll find my way home by
looking at the cross!‖
The fireman is intrigued. ―What cross?‖
The little boy explains that, though he doesn‘t know his ad-
dress, there is a church next to his house that has a large, wooden
cross. Whenever he‘s lost, he can simply look at the cross, and find
his way home.
When this story was first preached from the pulpits, screams
of amen and halleluiah roared through the aisles. Christians imme-
diately understood the figurative language of the story. Like wildfire,
the story blazed from church to church. Its fire rages to this day.
As a young adult, I told my grandmother that the story was
not true. Her expression showed nothing less than disappointment
with me. I informed her gently that the story in question was from a
scene in a television crime drama during the 1960s and that it had
nothing to do with religion.
Her response was as cold as it was contemptuous: ―Why do
you always doubt God?‖
As innocent as her responses to both stories might‘ve been,
they are the basis of the continued rejection of Astrotheology, and the
belief in euhemerism. Herd mentality and Christian semantics
demand that if something sounds good enough, and if it is said often
enough, it must be true—regardless of any evidence to the contrary.
Christian churches are filled with refuted diatribes and trite
rhetoric that the masses accept as truth, even though the congre-
gants have received evidence to the contrary. The History Channel
and The Discovery Channel are two venues (among many) that reveal
the truths about religious holidays and their pagan origins, offer
refutations of Christian authenticity, and challenges biblical accura-
cy. Regardless, born-again Christians refuse to be swayed. Instead,
they dismiss the evidence outright without pondering the information
or forming educated opinions. They refuse to consider any alternative
theory to their beliefs. To them, a belief that is insulting trumps
insulting their religion.
194
Nail-Driving Conclusion
―The followers of Jesus slept while his enemies and executioners

worked through the night.‖
~ Keith Nicholson
When pews are replaced with cots and when fellowship halls
cook fried chicken for the homeless man outside; when pastors
preach the truth about Jehovah and Jesus;248 when Christian
children give up their birthday gifts and Christmas presents in
exchange for gift cards for the poor; when Christian teenagers throw
pizza parties and amusement park outings for ―bad kids from bad
neighborhoods‖—then, and only then, will I attend another Christian
church.
As of this date, I‘ve found only two pastors whom I consider to
be truthful, dedicated men of God. Considering the number of
churches I‘ve attended and the number of preachers with whom I‘ve
received communiqué, four is a very low—very saddening—number.
Most definitely, Jesus would not be a candidate for the posi-
tion of deacon at the local Protestant church. Likewise, he would
never be allowed to hold the position of pastor or priest should he
ever return. And even though he would refuse legal action, Jesus has
every legal right to come back and take Christian churches to court
for copyright or license-use infringement. Christians are not Christ-
like. They never were. They never will be.
Those of us in-the-know are the ones who have been run off.
The membership rolls of atheism, paganism, and of no religious
preference hit newer heights every day. Born-again Christians do not
want converts unless they are well-educated and well-heeled. Leader-
ship positions are never offered to the lower-income worker, regard-
less of his heart for the Lord. But do not mourn for him. He will
continue to sit on the edge of his bed with his face cupped by blis-
tered hands. He will call out to God for forgiveness and mercy. He‘ll
gladly scrub the toilets of the church and he‘ll smile while doing so
because he loves God. He will continually eat Sunday dinner alone
while well-heeled Christians take over the dining room around him;
never inviting him to join. Good Christian girls will continue to only
date good Christian boys, even after they receive frequent, secretive
248
Believe me, they do know the truth.
abortions and drug rehab stays All the while, they will continue to
shun a waitress or bartender for impropriety of vocation. Church
deacons will continue to say ―no‖ to anything they don‘t get credit for,
or anything never before attempted. This is the state of the church,
today.
A bartender named Todd at Chili‘s in Champaign, Illinois has the

perfect secular analogy to the preceding paragraphs. It is as follows:
Comedy Central, a cable television network, aired a marathon

of its hit show South Park on a particular Sunday afternoon. Chili‘s,
like most other chain-franchise restaurants in the country, are
overrun on Sundays with the after-church crowd. Therefore, the bar
and cocktail areas are, for the most part, empty. (Restaurant bar-
tenders hate Sunday shifts.)
A friend of Todd‘s called him at work and said that he had 32
people who were searching for a bar where they could watch the
South Park marathon, eat, and drink. Would he be interested?
After searching the channel guides and determining that no
big sporting events were to be televised, Todd returned his friend‘s
phone call and declared, ―Hell yes!‖
The bar area was filled completely with the 32 customers; and
in addition, other happenstance customers. They ran up big bar bills;
food left the kitchen and hit the bar, cocktail tables, and cocktail area
booths. Dining room waitresses had to take tables in the cocktail area
because there was just too much business for one bartender to
handle. The restaurant‘s cash register rang huge amounts and the tip
jar overflowed. Everyone was ecstatic; such a welcomed surprise for a
no-money Sunday afternoon!
Then it happened; a manager crept out of the office. Instead of
helping on the expo line or dining room floor, he had done what most
managers do during peak, high-volume shifts: insipid paperwork,
e.g., inventory or scheduling. Naturally, when he heard the roar of
the crowd in the cocktail area, saw the food hitting the tables, and
the drinks being poured, he did what any good, company man
would—he changed the channels on all the televisions.
In unison, the bar area let out, ―Ah! What the fuck?‖
Todd explained that his customers were there solely to watch
the South Park marathon; that his sales had been more than the
previous Saturday night‘s; and that the crowd would probably leave if
the channels were not changed back.
The manager‘s response?
196
―Corporate policy dictates that each television be tuned to ei-

ther sports or news. There are no exceptions.‖
Todd pleaded, ―But I checked and there are no local sporting
events on…‖
―There are no exceptions unless I receive a memo from corpo-
rate stating so.‖
After some terse words, the crowd of customers paid their bills
in turn. Each expressed his utter contempt to the manager while
departing. The customers that were run off at Chili‘s that fateful
Sunday afternoon were all regular to semi-regular customers. Indivi-
dually they warned the manager that unless he acquiesced, they
would never return. The manager refused to give in, citing corporate
policy instead. As of this writing, none of them have ever returned.
Apparently, money and satisfied customers are not priorities at
Chili‘s; corporate procedure is.
It‘s no wonder that Baptist deacons and corporate managers have so

much in common. Managers will cite flow charts from corporate
binders instead of catering to customers, whereas Baptist deacons
will cite the annals of the Southern Baptist Convention, instead of
referring to the bible.
As Pastor Verlon Moore once eloquently stated, ―The last five
words of a dying church are, ‗We‘ve never done that before.‘‖
Thankfully, the Christian church is on its way out—finally!
The Piscean Age is coming to a close. Aquarius is knocking at the
door. Pisces rules our emotions and Aquarius our intellect. Whereas
we once felt our religion and its practices, henceforth we will deter-
mine our religious beliefs—based solely on the evidence at hand, and
not the emotion it drives. Most assuredly, Jesus tapped his chest,
indicating his heart, when he said that the kingdom of God is within.
Paul reiterated when he said that the Ark of the Covenant is ―the
heart.‖ But that was Pisces, which is emotional. Aquarius utilizes the
brain, and is intellectual. We have already glimpsed the transforma-
tion that is coming.
Likewise, giving money to the church to do God’s work has
made many a good-intentioned man feel better about himself. Now,
he‘ll begin to see where his money goes. He‘ll logically calculate that
the person outside his church, in the waiting room of a hospital, or in
line ahead of him at the grocery store, needs the tithe he previously
earmarked for library carpeting and pizza parties.
There will shortly come a time when he will reciprocate. I‘m
sure of it. I‘ll make sure of it. I am heading for the churches and I
have an axe to grind. Fat-cat, Baptist deacons should be fore-
197
warned—they are all damned. I have an arsenal of scornful words—

those of Jesus—at my disposal. In the Western serials of yesteryear
(as well as the ghettos of today) every man knew the shame of being
killed with his own gun. I‘ll bring no guns with me; I‘ll bring a sword.
(Don‘t worry dear Christian reader; Peter didn‘t understand it, either.)
198
Appendix A
http://www.martialartsforpeace.com/pages/bullyingstatistics.html
BULLYING STATISTICS
Thirty percent (30%) of U.S. students in grades six through ten are involved in moderate or
frequent bullying — as bullies, as victims, or as both — according to the results of the first
national survey on this subject.
Bullying is increasingly viewed as an important contributor to youth violence, including ho-
micide and suicide. Case studies of the shooting at Colombine High School and other U.S.
schools have suggested that bullying was a factor in many of the incidents.
RECENT STATISTICS SHOW THAT:
1 out of 4 kids is Bullied. The American Justice Department says that this month 1 out of
every 4 kids will be abused by another youth.
Surveys Show That 77% of students are bullied mentally, verbally, & physically.
In a recent study, 77% of the students said they had been bullied. And 14% of those who
were bullied said they experienced severe (bad) reactions to the abuse.
1 out of 5 kids admits to being a bully, or doing some "Bullying."
8% of students miss 1 day of class per month for fear of Bullies.
43% fear harassment in the bathroom at school.
100,000 students carry a gun to school.
28% of youths who carry weapons have witnessed violence at home.
A poll of teens ages 12-17 proved that they think violence increased at their schools.
282,000 students are physically attacked in secondary schools each month.
More youth violence occurs on school grounds as opposed to on the way to school.
Playground statistics - Every 7 minutes a child is bullied. Adult intervention - 4%. Peer inter-
vention - 11%. No intervention - 85%.
ACCORDING TO THE BUREAU OF JUSTICE STATISTICS - School Crime

and Safety:
46% of males, and 26% of females reported they had been in physical fights.
Those in the lower grades reported being in twice as many fights as those in the higher
grades. However, there is a lower rate of serious violent crimes in the elementary level than
in the middle or high schools.
Teenagers say revenge is the strongest motivation for school shootings
o — 87% said shootings are motivated by a desire to "get back at those who have
hurt them."
o — 86% said, "other kids picking on them, making fun of them or bullying them"
causes teenagers to turn to lethal violence in the schools.
Students recognize that being a victim of abuse at home or witnessing others being abused
at home may cause violence in school.
o — 61% said students shoot others because they have been victims of physical
abuse at home.
o — 54% said witnessing physical abuse at home can lead to violence in school.
Students say their schools are not safe.
STATS 2001:
SELECTED SCHOOL VIOLENCE RESEARCH FINDINGS FROM 2001
SOURCES
According to the latest poll, thirty-two percent of parents fear for their child‘s physical safety
when the child is at school. Thirty-nine percent of parents with a child in grade six or higher
are more likely to say they fear for their child‘s safety. Twenty-two percent of parents whose
children are in grade five or lower fear for their child‘s safety. (Parents Not Overly Con-
cerned About School Environments for Their Children, Gallup News Service, 2001)
Bullying generally begins in the elementary grades, peaks in the sixth through eighth
grades, and persists into high school. (Addressing the Problem of Juvenile Bullying, Office
of Juvenile Justice and Delinquency Prevention, 2001)
Among students, homicide perpetrators were more than twice as likely as homicide victims
to have been bullied by peers. (School-Associated Violent Deaths in the United States
1994-1999, Centers for Disease Control and Prevention and U.S. Departments of Education
and Justice, 2001; findings published by the Journal of the American Medical Association,
2001)
Overall, almost eleven percent of a representative sample of youth reported bullying others
sometimes, and almost nine percent admitted to bullying others once a week or more. Expe-
riencing bullying was reported with similar frequency, with almost nine percent bullied some-
times and just over eight percent bullied once a week or more. (Bullying Behaviors Among
US Youth, Journal of the American Medical Association, 2001)
Of a representative sample of youth, almost thirty percent reported some type of involve-
ment in moderate or frequent bullying, as a bully, a target of bullying, or both. (Bullying Be-
haviors Among US Youth, Journal of the American Medical Association, 2001)
Bullying was reported as more prevalent among males than females and occurred with
greater frequency among middle school-aged youth than high school-aged youth. For
males, both physical and verbal bullying was common, while for females, verbal bullying and
rumors were more common. (Bullying Behaviors Among US Youth, Journal of the American
Medical Association, 2001)
Research shows that those who bully and are bullied appear to be at greatest risk of expe-
riencing the following: loneliness; trouble making friends; lack of success in school; and in-
volvement in problem behaviors such as smoking and drinking. (Addressing the Problem of
Juvenile Bullying, Office of Juvenile Justice and Delinquency Prevention, 2001)
Seventy-four percent of 8 - to 11-year-old students said teasing and bullying occur at their
schools. (Talking With Kids About Tough Issues: A National Survey of Parents and Kids,
Kaiser Family Foundation and Nickelodeon, 2001)
Though recent studies show that as many as seventy-five percent of children have been
victims of bullying during their school careers, about half of parents in this survey see bully-
ing as no problem for their children. (Are We Safe?: The 2000 National Crime Prevention
Survey, National Crime Prevention Council, 2001)
Thirty-nine percent of middle schoolers and thirty-six of high schoolers say they don‘t feel
safe at schools. (2000 Report Card: Report #1, The Ethics of American Youth: Violence and
Substance Abuse: Data & Commentary, Josephson Institute of Ethics, 2001)
— North Carolina Department of Juvenile Justice and Delinquency Prevention Center for the
Prevention of School Violence
Statistics compiled by Kathy Knoll at: http://hometown.aol.com/kthynoll
April 24, 2001 (National Institutes of Health)
Bullying Widespread in U.S. Schools, Survey Finds:
Bullying is widespread in American schools, with more than 16 percent of U.S. school child-
ren saying they had been bullied by other students during the current term, according to a
survey funded by the National Institute of Child Health and Human Development (NICHD).
The study appears in the April 25, 2001, Journal of the American Medical Association.
Overall, 10 percent of children said they had been bullied by other students, but had not bul-
lied others. Another 6 percent said that they had both been bullied themselves and had bul-
lied other children. Another 13 percent of students said they had bullied other students, but
had not been bullied themselves.
"Being bullied is not just an unpleasant rite of passage through childhood," said Duane
Alexander, M.D., director of the NICHD. "It's a public health problem that merits attention.
People who were bullied as children are more likely to suffer from depression and low self
esteem, well into adulthood, and the bullies themselves are more likely to engage in criminal
behavior later in life."
The NICHD researchers surveyed 15,686 students in grades six-through-10, in public, pa-
rochial, and other private schools throughout the U.S. The nationally representative survey
was part of the U.S. contribution to the World Health Organization's Health Behavior in
School Children survey, an international effort in which many countries surveyed school-age
children on a broad spectrum of health-related behaviors.
For this study, researchers defined bullying as a type of behavior intended to harm or dis-
turb the victim, explained the study's first author, Tonja R. Nansel, Ph.D. This behavior oc-
curs repeatedly over time and involves an imbalance of power, with the more powerful
person or group attacking the less powerful one, Dr. Nansel added. Bullying may be physi-
cal, involving hitting or otherwise attacking the other person; verbal, involving name-calling
or threats; or psychological, involving spreading rumors or excluding a person.
The children were asked to complete a questionnaire during a class period that asked how
often they either bullied other students, or were the target of bullying behavior. A total of
10.6 percent of the children replied that they had "sometimes" bullied other children, a re-
sponse category defined as "moderate" bullying. An additional 8.8 percent said they had
bullied others once a week or more, defined as "frequent "bullying. Similarly, 8.5 percent
said they had been targets of moderate bullying, and 8.4 percent said they were bullied fre-
quently.
Out of all the students, 13 percent said they had engaged in moderate or frequent bullying
of others, while10.6 percent said they had been bullied either moderately or frequently.
Some students-6.3 percent-had both bullied others and been bullied themselves. In all, 29
percent of the students who responded to the survey had been involved in some aspect of
bullying, either as a bully, as the target of bullying, or both.
Bullying occurred most frequently in sixth through eighth grade, with little variation between
urban, suburban, town, and rural areas; suburban youth were 2-3 percent less likely to bully
others. Males were both more likely to bully others and more likely to be victims of bullying
than were females. In addition, males were more likely to say they had been bullied physi-
cally (being hit, slapped, or pushed), while females more frequently said they were bullied
verbally and psychologically (through sexual comments or rumors).
Regarding verbal bullying, bullies were less likely to make derogatory statements about
other students' religion or race. "There seem to be stronger social norms against making
these kinds of statements than against belittling someone about their appearance or beha-
vior," Dr. Nansel said.
Both bullies and those on the receiving end of bullying were more likely to have difficulty
adjusting to their environment both socially and psychologically. Students who were bullied
reported having greater difficulty making friends and poorer relationships with their class-
mates. They were also much more likely than other students to report feelings of loneliness.
"It's likely that kids who are socially isolated and have trouble making friends are more likely
to be targets of bullying," Dr. Nansel said. "In turn, other kids may avoid children who are
bullied, for fear of being bullied themselves."
The study authors also reported that bullies were more likely to be involved in other problem
behaviors, such as smoking and drinking alcohol, and to do more poorly academically.
However, youth who were both bullies and recipients of bullying tended to fare the most
poorly of all, experiencing social isolation, as well as doing poorly in school and engaging in
problem behaviors, like smoking and drinking.
"Unfortunately, we don't know much about this group," Dr. Nansel said. "We need to learn
more about them to provide them with the help they need." She added that it is not known
whether these children are first bullied by others and then imitate the bullying behavior they
experienced, or if they are bullies who were later retaliated against.
The study's authors concluded that the prevalence of bullying in U.S. schools suggests a
need for more research to understand, and devise ways to intervene against, bullying. The
authors noted that researchers in Norway and England have shown that school intervention
programs can be successful. These programs focused on increasing awareness of bullying,
increasing teacher and parent supervision, establishing clear rules prohibiting bullying, and
providing support and protection for those bullied.
The NICHD is part of the National Institutes of Health, the biomedical research arm of the federal
government. The Institute sponsors research on development before and after birth; maternal, child,
and family health; reproductive biology and population issues; and medical rehabilitation. NICHD
publications, as well as information about the Institute, are available from the NICHD Web site,
http://www.nichd.nih.gov, or from the NICHD Information Resource Center, 1-800-370-2943; e-mail
NICHDInformationResourceCenter@mail.nih.gov.
Appendix B
October 13, 2005
The Java Hut

13 N Vermillion
Danville, IL 61832
Attn: Don and Marie Pribble

Re: Café Vermillion & Preservation Hall after-party
Dear Mr. and Mrs. Pribble:
Please be advised that Barbara and I are withdrawing our names

from consideration with your restaurant‘s team.
We both became concerned by the fact that we were asked on two

different occasions to work during the upcoming after-party, only to
be told that we would not be paid for our services. As you are well
aware, we are both without employment and permanent housing as a
direct result of Hurricane Katrina. We both took great offense to your
―offer.‖ Notwithstanding, along with other factors that were both
personal and professional, we have deemed it necessary for us to
formally withdraw our names and resumes from consideration of
Café Vermillion.
We wish you the best of luck in your upcoming venture.
Thank you for your time and consideration for these and future
regards. I remain
Sincerely,
Keith Nicholson
Appendix C
Gleaned from:
Grammy Blick‘s Bible Reading

My testimony, my witness.
http://blicktx.blogspot.com/2011/03/armor-of-god.html
Appendix D
Cite material for this pictograph is missing due to Hurricane Katrina.

Appendix E
Myth versus Nature
Regardless of religion or culture, all gods (as well as all other

figures in mythology) have their origins in the planets and the forces
of nature. As a pertinent example, one cannot help but take notice of
the infamous Titanic creatures known as Cyclopes. According to
legend (Hesiod in particular), Cyclopes were giants, had a single eye
in their foreheads, were stubborn, of ―a foul disposition,‖ and ―abrupt
of emotion.‖ They were also known for brute strength and power.
Their parents were Earth and Sky (Gaia and Uranus, respectively).
They were imprisoned in Tartarus by Kronos-Saturn, and later freed
by Zeus-Jupiter. As a reward for their freedom, they formed the
primary weapons of Zeus-Jupiter i.e., thunderbolts.
As a child, I watched the Claymation mythological sagas of

Jason and the Argonauts and the Sinbad movie series. The mytholog-
ical Cyclopes were formidable antagonists in each movie. As an adult,
however, I visited a museum of natural history. The museum had
placed an elephant‘s skull inside of a display case. A plaque ex-
plained that the large cavity in the skull‘s face was where the ele-
phant‘s trunk would have been attached, if it were alive. The plaque
further told that when ancient people discovered the skulls of extinct
woolly mammoths that they thought the skulls belonged to giants;
and that the trunk cavity was a single, giant eye socket. Thus, the
legend of Cyclopes was born. (The foregoing is the consensus regard-
ing academic types and History Channel contributors.)
However, I am prepared to explain the origin of the mythology
and legend of Cyclopes in more practical (and correct) terms. As
always, nature wins-out over speculation, especially where mythology
is concerned.
Let‘s examine the mythology of the Cyclopes once again:
The Cyclopes are giants and have one large eye. They are the
sons of Uranus and Gaia (Earth and Sky), according to Hesiod; and
the sons of Poseidon-Neptune and Thoosa the water nymph (Oceans
and Seas), according to Homer. They are the makers of lightning and
thunder. They are friends and servants of Zeus-Jupiter—a weather
god. They are, by nature, strong, stubborn, of ―a foul disposition,‖
and ―of abrupt emotion‖; they are Titanic.
What has been described previously by way of mythology is
not an elephant‘s skull, but actually a hurricane or a cyclone. Cyc-
lone. Cyclops. They are one in the same!
The term cyclone refers to such storms‘ cyclonic nature, with
counterclockwise rotation in the Northern Hemisphere and clockwise
rotation in the Southern Hemisphere. Depending on its location and
strength, a tropical cyclone is referred to by names such as hurricane,
typhoon, tropical storm, cyclonic storm, tropical depression, and
simply cyclone. Each cyclone has a distinct, singular eye at its
center. Cyclones are also comparable to tornadoes. The word tornado
is an altered form of the Spanish word tronada, which means ―thun-
derstorm.‖ This in turn was taken from the Latin tonare, meaning ―to
thunder.‖ It most likely reached its present form through a combina-
tion of the Spanish tronada and tornar, i.e., ―to turn.‖ A tornado is
also commonly referred to as a twister, and is sometimes referred to
by the old-fashioned colloquial term cyclone. In essence, a tornado is
cyclonic, and has one eye in its funnel. (The source of etymology is
from http://www.wikipedia.org.)
With the evidences presented herein, it is apparent that my-
thological Cyclopes are nothing more than hurricanes and tornadoes,
i.e., forces of nature. That‘s it, plain and simple; all of the world‘s
mythologies are based on the planets and the forces of nature.
Since I realized this, a favorite pastime of mine is to examine
other mythological figures (it matters not which culture‘s mythology
is examined), and to compare and contrast them with the planets and
the forces of nature. When this practice is applied, one‘s outlook on
mythology and religion will never remain the same.
Figure 1: Polyphemus, by Johann Heinrich Wilhelm Tischbein,

1802;
Figure 2: Name of hurricane not known, public domain photo;
Figure 3: Photo of elephant skull courtesy of The University of
Edinbourgh/NHC.)
About the Author
Keith Nicholson with his late wife, Barbara
What are my qualifications for writing books that are destined

to be burned in Christian fires? Stated simply, I am an author, a
bartender, and a ne‘er-do-well. I have lived my life as an iconoclast. I
have knelt underneath many steeples and I have been removed from
many pews. I have preached sermons and I have been run out of
churches. I have been cussed out by preachers and I have been
called a holy man by atheists. Yes, I am a heretic and an idolater. I
am my own judge. I am my own god. I am Keith Nicholson.
Contact an Idolater
nicholson@nolamagick.com
Other Books by the Author
NONFICTION
ABOVE BELOW WITHIN:

Planetary Magick and the Greek Gods
This book is a thorough guide for implementing the Greek

Gods of Olympus into modern-day witchcraft. This book demon-
strates how the planetary influences are actual energies that influ-
ence a witch during witchcraft. Also, the psychology of the planetary
energies and the Greek gods are addressed in depth. This is more
than a book about comparative magick, mythology, psychology, and
religion; it also tears down the traditions of Christianity and Ju-
daism.
IDOLATER:
A Spiritual Biography of Rebuke, Revenge & Regret
Idolater demonstrates how a born-again Christian became an

atheist and an idolater. Without a doubt, this book is Nicholson‘s
magnum opus! There are over 600 pages of rebuke, revenge, and
regret—all pointed toward the hypocrisies of Christianity and its
members. Nicholson reveals scathing secrets about the Southern
Baptist Convention, famous televangelists, international Christian
charities, and semi-famous churches (including preachers, deacons,
and laity). More importantly, the truth about the Holy Bible is ex-
posed, as well as America‘s judicial system, political system, and the
food and beverage industry. This book is more than just an exposé; it
is righteous indignation on steroids!
FICTION
RESURRECTION
This book answers the age-old question: If the resurrection of

Jesus Christ happened during the present day and not 2,000 years
ago, what might be the outcome? Resurrection is comprised of three
short stories. All three stories have the same characters and the
same plot, but each is told from a different point of view. This book is
a must-read for any seminary student, born-again Christian, neo-
pagan, or atheist. Every reader‘s faith will be turned upside down
after having read this book!
Mainstream Tourist Books by the Author
Streetcar Guide ~ St. Charles edition

Streetcar Guide ~ Canal-Riverfront edition
Streetcar Gourmet Cookbook
www.StreetcarGuide.com
About Nola -Magick Press
WE PRINT THE BOOKS CHURCHES LOVE TO BURN!
Nola-Magick Press produces books that expose the hypocri-

sies of Christianity and mainstream society. The hope is that such
books will liberate the masses from religious tyranny and social
oppression. Each book is dedicated to revealing the truth about those
who wield ecclesiastical power and political influence. It is the never-
ending mission of Nola-Magick Press to expose corporate leaders,
politicians, and preachers of their criminal and hypocritical acts.
Believing that Christian-based charities and churches have abused
the tax codes and run roughshod over the underprivileged that they
neglect to help, Nola-Magick Press promises that one-half of all net
profits will be donated to various altruistic causes and charitable
concerns.
“We no longer burn books in America.

Today, we just don’t print them or allow them to be sold.”
—Rev. Jim Brown
www.nolamagick.com

A Rebuke of The Christian Church by Keith Nicholson

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A Rebuke of the

Copyright © 2003, 2011 by Keith Nicholson

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or

First edition, first printing

Library of Congress Catalogue Card Number:

(10) ISBN: 0-9761767-0-X

Contact the author:

Printed in the USA

Dr. David B. Eastland, preacher and teacher—his life is a per-

Miguel Conner, author, internet-radio host, and Gnostic scho-

Chris and Andrea Peters, friends in absentia—even though

This book is not based on a true story. It is a true story. In

This e-booklet is an excerpt that‘s been quilted together with

―I don‘t believe in fairytales, sermons, or stories about money.‖

In Judaism, God is more than a distinguishing title; It

The numerous titles for God have been a source of de-

The concepts mentioned herein are difficult to wrap one‘s

God does not imply holiness, righteousness, or otherworldliness. The

―Christianity is a marvelous religion. Too bad it has never been practiced.‖

I had my first encounter with religion when I was five years

I became the bus captain of my route by age eleven. It was a

It was humiliating to be told in front of a room full of kids my

One cold, Sunday morning, Ronnie Brooks saw my newly

―Then why did God allow their bible to be so widely popular, if

heeled Good Kids during those emasculating years at CCA. My edge

face as each Christian passed my desk. Of course, the teachers did

Having divorced myself from the Christian, herd mentality of

I quickly became a fan of the occult section in any public li-

been labeled as a Satanist. In some form of misguided protest I began

I raised my arms and waived them violently. I yelled as loudly

As stated throughout, while in high school I‘d felt I had been

alone—to be free from the neo-crusaders of Gadsden, Alabama. But

She continued by saying that she definitely believed in God,

―Beloved, think it not strange concerning the fiery trial

And probably the most pertinent biblical example of when a

―If you‘re late for church, you‘ll be on time for hell!‖

While reflecting on the preceding chapter, please consider the

When I was nineteen years old, I shopped in a department

During my senior year at Glencoe High School (a public

him. However, not going to a required church assembly? Unthinkable!

Years earlier when I attended Coosa Christian Academy,

I have a question: How are these three examples any different

―Truth is so precious that she should always be attended

The reader will recall a statement I had made during the

• Pearl High School; Pearl, Mississippi; October 01, 1997

• Heath High School; Paducah, Kentucky; December 01, 1997

• Westside Middle School; Jonesboro, Arkansas; March 24, 1998

• Parker Middle School; Edinboro, Pennsylvania; April 26, 1998

• Thurston High School; Springfield, Oregon; May 20, 1998

• Columbine High School; Littleton, Colorado; April 20, 1999

I understand that the reader at this point might wonder if I

Jeremiah. He was an outcast. The others in the church‘s youth

hadn‘t embraced the community like Jesus had commissioned, i.e.,

This is not a skit! This is real!

Jeremiah remained seated while he responded. It was an at-

Though the gunman was dead, the Good Kids continued to

On January 31, 2000, during the Texas Baptist Conference,

When Pastor Rod and I discussed the massacre at Wedgwood

Accusation on my part: It is my opinion, through my independent research, that

―Christians worship the messenger, but disregard his message.‖

Take a good, long look at the pews of any Protestant church in

Pastor Jim Brown frequently tells of a certain story that is

―During the late 1980s, I left the pulpit and tried my