, Villanueva, Stephen Edward

Sangkula, Khalid Hasan T

Laurete, Arnold S. Jr
Laureta, Christ John F.
Abdulsalam, Shalim

The Effect of Media Consumption on the Perception of Romantic Relationships

Omotayo O. Banjo
Media is distorting relationships and marriage by featuring sensationalized real life
situations in its rom coms, movies, television series and the like in order to promote their
program to the public and assure constant support from them (Galloway, 2011. p.9). This
sensationalization in media is indeed entertaining; however, it is also one of the many reasons
why most relationship fails. Relationship fails due to sensationalized media because it diverts
one’s attention. Sure thing, media provides entertainment but some would prefer media rather
than spending time with their family and loved ones (Relevant Magazine, 2011). It is in cases
like this that relationships break apart because when you are in a relationship time is the most
valuable gift you can ever give to the ones you love (Chua, 2012). Now, how can someone spend
time with his/her loved ones when this particular person is busy playing online games or watches
Korean drama? How can both persons in a relationship talk personally when they can say
whatever they want on social media? How can someone assure a lover’s loyalty when texts,
mails, and chats can be edited before they get posted and sent? Things as such will really make
someone question their partner’s intentions in the relationship. Yes, loyalty and commitment
varies from person to person and one might say that “I am not this person” but how sure are you?
How sure are you when a research study by Laurent (2013) have already proven that stated that
media have greatly contributed in the increasing rate of divorce cases in the U.S. where clients
would often argue on cheating which happens through the use of various media is indeed
distorting relationship and marriage.
In the research entitled “The Effect of Media Consumption on the Perception of
Romantic Relationships” by Banjo, O., he studied the empirical correlation of media influence
and romantic relationships through six hypothesis that focused on the relations of media
materials to the idealistic relations to romantic relationships based on the cultivation theory first
formulated by Gerbner in 1994. The result shows promise that media has some influence on how
people perceive an ideal relationship. However, as strong as the research was, there were some
lapses in the conduct in the survey particularly the empirical stature of the research.
The first argument is the definition of romantic relationships in the context of the
research. The definition in the research discussed was an ideal romantic relationship, particularly
how to describe a perfect relationship. However, the researcher failed to specify the given
dynamics of the relationship the research was discussing and he failed to mention in analysis the
issue of marriage and intimate relationship. In today’s generation where the use of media and the
various forms of it are used, most relationships and marriage are threatened to end into break-
ups, annulment or divorce. A perfect example would be Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries
divorce recently. They were married for only 72 days. Where Kim Kardashian wrote to her fans
right after, “I love with all of my heart and soul. I want a family and babies and a real life so
badly that maybe I rushed in to something too soon. I believed in love and the dream of what I
wanted so badly. I felt like I was on a fast roller coaster and couldn’t get off when now I know I
probably should have. I got caught up with the hoopla and the filming of the TV show that when
I probably should have ended my relationship, I didn’t know how to and didn’t want to
disappoint a lot of people…It just didn’t turn out to be the fairy tale I had so badly hoped for”
(Nickols, 2012). Movies and much of the media portray infidelity as being so refreshing and
exciting, like the new flavor of the month – when one drink is insufficient, there is another
waiting to be tried (Lukas, 2013, p.5). When expectations for marriage were not achieved, there
is always the possibility that a failed marriage was to be ensured which in turn could result to
specific consequences for the parties concerned. This may not be true for everyone but to most it
is, Commission on Population says that in the Philippines, more than half of the total married
population end their relationship due to the expectations which were not met. In order to prevent
further damage caused by media’s portrayal of relationships and marriage we have to reflect and
learn the real definition of love as taught by our religion and our family. What the media wanted
the general population to believe in or not can reflect the issues that face society and reveal
oppressive bias and prejudices (Ng, 2017). The given analysis in the research was circumscribed
on the different dynamics of marriage and relationship that will be affected by the nature of
media and popular culture but not the immediate effects of it such as misunderstanding, conflicts
with ideology and most especially divorce
 Another thing would be the fact that media promotes digital intimacy and heinous crimes
such as pornography which degrades the morale of a person. The researchers failed in detail in
discussing the mechanics of sexual fantasies and correlate it to popular media aside from the love
attitude scales formulated from A certain case study can be related to this digital intimacy and
pornography, Lynessa Williams a marriage and relationships researcher wrote in her book
entitled 101 Reasons Why Marriage Fails that the digital intimacy and pornography caused her
divorce with her husband a year before she published the book. She also stated that she was
tempted to try on dating sites through social media because her husband isn’t always around and
always busy for work (when was this published?). According to her it all started with the ad she
watched on Facebook about time in the relationship that if your partner does not have time for
you then maybe he is not the one. Convinced by the ad, she decided on finding someone new
secretly. She started making an account for a dating site and found 3 boyfriends online where she
admitted that she had shared videos of her naked and even had sex with one of them. During
those times, she was married to her husband. When her husband found out that she’s doing such
thing, he broke up with her and their 10 years of marriage ended up into a divorce (Syracuse
University, 2012, p.27). Due to our modern expressions and misconceptions of love our morale
are degraded like Ms. William’s case. Even though not everyone is like her, it is undeniable that
pornography and digital intimacy has long been the trend in our society resulting to a chaotic and
unhealthy disposition of relationships and marriage. To solve such issue, maybe it is time that the
government would further enforce on cybersex and crime prevention as well as setting standards
of X-rated scenes to be shown to the public.
Lastly, one must learn to put a barrier between the media and the real life. One must
know the difference of media and reality in order to prevent unrealistic expectations of love. We
must be oriented that we should filter the things which we see on media that is to be integrated in
our daily lives. We have to be able to weigh our priorities, we can use media and engage in a
relationship at the same time so long as what we see on media does not affect our relationships
but rather strengthens and nurtures it. (Northshore Church, 2015 p.1-2) a perfect example would
be Gwendolyn Seidman a Ph.D., in Psychology Today, where she wrote in her article that media
can aid relationships by making it easier for partners to integrate their once disconnected social
networks. In addition Lanier-Graham (2016) says her Facebook feed makes her husband’s co-
workers feel as if they know her, and has served as an icebreaker when meeting those people in
real-world social settings. Now, media is not all bad in fact it can help in building a happier and
stable relationship so long as it is used properly with wit and just application in a real-life
situation. Yes, media distorts relationships and marriage but it is all in our hands if we are to take
it or not.
Media damages one’s morale when it promotes digital intimacy and pornography and it
also creates unrealistic depictions of love but if we know what’s real from what is not, it
wouldn’t be a problem. Media can be of advantage and disadvantage to a person it’s just a matter
of how we utilize it so that no matter how sensationalized media may become our relationships
and married life will still be happy and stable. Let us bear in mind that media is far from reality
and that we should not let it destroy our relationships. Let us be vigilant of media’s effects on our
relationships so that when the time comes we will be able to shout to the world that we’ve
experienced the true love that everyone seeks.
 References

Anonymous (2011). Does media distort love?. Retrieved from https://relevantmagazine.com/life/

relationship/features/25275-distorting-love

Chua, A. (2012). How does media defines love?. Retrieved from https://psychology2future.org/

marriage+relationship/1139802

Galloway, L. (2011). Does media viewing cultivate unrealistic expectations about love and

marriage?. Retrieved from https://digitalscholarship.unlv.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi? article

=2828&context=thesesdissertations

Lanier-Graham, L. (2016). Media and Relationships. Florida, USA: Shepard Publishing

Laurent, T. (2013). Media’s portrayal of relationships and how it is can be associated with

divorce. Retrieved from https://www.thenational.ae/media’s-portrayal-of-relationships-

and-how-it-can-be-associated-with-divorce.html

Lukas, M. (2013). Can you believe it: How media portrays love?. New York, NY: The Hub

Publishing

Ng, N. (2017). How has pop culture and the media influenced our perspectives of love and sex?.

Melbourne, Australia. Meld Magazine

Nickols, C. (2012). The media’s distortion of love. Florida, USA: Blackstone Media Group

Northshore Church (2015). Marriage and Family: God's Design - Satan's Distortion. Retrieved

from http://www.northshorechurch.net/come/worship/sermon-notes/118-marriage-and-

family-gods-design-satans-distortion
Syracuse University (2012). Facebook ruined my marriage:Digital intimacy and pornography.

New York, NY: S.I. Newhouse