MUSICAL NUMBERS ACT ONE iWall Steetiteastestuaie esti ‘Mona WSYOU ec ceeelecesceeeseeteceeeseese Dlg and Ruby Broadway Baby v....eeseccseees vee Dick ‘That Mister Man of Mine «2... -Mona and Chorus Choo-Choo Honeymoon... s++Joan and Lucky “The Sailor of My Dreams ... cece renee RUDY "Singapore Sue ....... +++ eLatek and Company Broadway Baby (Reprise) *Good Times are Here to Stay .... Joan and Company ACT TWO Dames at Sea. Company The Beguine .. ceseceeeesessese Mona and Captain Raining in My Heart 2.00.60... Ruby and Chorus ‘There's Something About You . seven Dick and Ruby Raining in My Heart (Reprise) eee aud: *The Echo Waltz Star Tar ate : Let's Have a Simple Wedding .......... «Mona, Joan, Ruby and Company «Ruby and Chorus sees Company “Lyrics by George Haimsohn ‘Added during the original off-Broadway run,Dames at Sea ACT ONE Scene 1 Scene: Backstage at a 42nd St. Theatre. ‘Tue; The Barly Thirties. OVERTURE, then: The LIGHTS come up as the CURTAIN opens on Mona Konwr singing “WALL STREET." She 4s posed on a giant ticker-tope machines Mona. WHEN YOUR JOB HAS FALLEN THROUGH AND YOUR RENT 1S OVERDUE, WHEN THE BUTCHER'S GONNA SUE DON'T DESPAIR! GET THAT RHYTHM IN YOUR TOES, DOLL UP IN YOUR SWELLEST CLOTHES, GO DOWN WHERE THAT GREEN STUFF GROWS, I'S THERE, ALL THERE! ON WALL STREET, COME ON DOWN TO WALL STREET WHERE THOSE MILLIONAIRES WILL GIVE YOUR TROUBLES A HOLIDAYS YOU CAN HAVE YOUR BROADWAY WITH ITS TAWDRY WARES, JUST GIMME THAT STREET WITH ITS SHARES (BULLS AND BEARS) ON WALL STREET, IT'S THE RISE AND FALL STREET. WHERE YOU'LL FIND A RICH TYCOON TO CROON ALL YOUR BLUES AWAY!6 DAMES AT SEA act 1 ‘YOU CAN HAVE YOUR TEXAS WITH ITS HOME ON THE RANGE, JUST GIMME A SEAT ‘ON THE STOCK EXCHANGE, IN THE MIDDLE OF WALL STREET, IT'S THE SABLE, SHAWL STREET WHERE YOU NEVER SEE A NOTE THAT'S LESS THAN A CENTUR-Y OR A G, SO WALL STREET, WALL STREET, WALL STREETS FOR MEI (TAP DANCE SECTION} IN THE MIDDLE OF WALL STREET, ID'S THE ALL IN ALL STREET, YOU WILL NEVER FIND ME LIVIN’ IN LONDON, PARIS, OR ROME, *CAUSE A TICKER-TAPE IS TICKIN' IN MY DOME, TELING ME THAT WALL STREET, WALL STREET, WALL STREET, WHERE THE BIG SPENDERS ALL MEET, WALL STREET, WALL STREET, WALL STREET'S MY HOME! (DANCE TAG. On applause, Mown does dance bw poses.) Ofetee, ter Mona has bowed, to Mosten, Die it, Joe. (Mona starts to dance ogain, joined by Joan.) Moa. I've bad enough. (Ske stops dancing.) Hennesey, (Ojstage,) Work Lights, (MUSIC stops.) Joan. (To a tine of Conus Gras Ofstage.) Hold it, gang! ‘The Amazon Queen's on the warpath again. Henwespy, (Enters; 10 Sracsuanp in wings.) Hey Charlie, sttike this, (Ticker-tope PLATFORM is pulled off) Okay, okay. ‘Take five, (Jou relates at Proscenium Arch. Potronizing.) Mona, baby, you're gonna be great in this part ‘MoNa. Lam? Then what about my billing? Hexwesr. But Monal You're the leading lady! Can’t you just see it? Mona Kent in “Dames at Sea”! Your name's going up in lights, baby,act DAMES AT SEA 1 Mowa. Yeah—but how big? Listen, you know the Wrigley sign? ‘Well—T want it that big. In color. And twinkling! Alzwwesey, Mona! Please! My nerves! P'm about ready to crack, Mowa, So T've noticed, (Ofstage NOISE.) What’s going on around here anyway? Hexwesny. (Nervously.) Nothing, nothing. Mowa. Then why is that work-gang lined up outside the stage door? Hennesev, Work-gang? That’s no work-gang, Mona; they're ‘your fans. Moxa, Oh, benanas! (Bsis.) Joan, Thete she goes, the Lady Macbeth of 42nd Street. (Rosy enters from the rear of the theatre dressed in a raincoat, ‘She is timid, bewildered and in ave of everything.) Ruy, (Coughing to get Hexowesny’s ottention.) Oh—er— pardon me, Hawausey, (Indifferently.) Youh? What do you want, kid? Rony. My name is Ruby and I'm @ dancer, I just got off the ‘bus and T want to be in 2 Broadway show. Henavesev, Where you from? Rony. Utah Hexnisey, Listen, Ruby, you think you can tap your way to stardom overnight, don’t you? Rupy. Well—back home they said— HENNesey. Well, they're wrong! It's a jungle out there, Dog eat dog. Broadway's paved with broken’ hopes and worm-cut éreims— Joan. And worn-out fet, too. Hennzsny, So take a tip from a guy who knows—and go back home! Rony, But I ean'ttT spent all my savings Joax, Have a heart, Hennesey! Can't you see the kid’s got class? Say, why can't she take Glenda’s place in the line? Hrnovrsey. What's happened to Glenda? Joan. Wake up, you dope! Don’t you read the funny papers? Glenda ‘hitched up with Comy Astor the ‘Third Jast night and sailed on the Berengaria this morning! Hirwssev. That snake! Glende's the thid exte he's snipe from my line, Joan. Wish it was me. Her engagement ring’s so heavy she walks lopsided! Hennesny, (Resigned, to Rony.) Okay, gitle, do you know the music? Roy. Why I-e—8 DAMES AT SEA act ‘Hawwesry, Do you know the number? Rosy. Well, I haven’t heard— Hexnesev. The routine? Rusy. Well, no one has shown— Hennzsry, CAN YOU DO IT? Rony. (After a pause, gulping bravely.) Tl try. Joa. Good gittt Henwesey, (To Musica, Dmazcton,) Hit it, Joe! (Huwwesey motions Joa to help Rusy, who then takes off her raincoat, Underneath she is wearing 0 rehearsal costume. SHORT DANCE to WALL STREET reprise, Rusy and Joan. During the dance.) Faster! Faster! Con gitls-—pick 'em wp! Pick ’em up! Now, you bables—givel Bleed for mel Bleed! Faster! Faster! (Stopping the MUSIC.) Okay, okay, (To Ruy.) You're hited. (Aside to Joan.) Joan, brush her up a Hitle, (He exits) Joan. Say, Ruby, you got a room yet? (Ruwy shakes her head.) ‘Wall, it ain't the Ritz, but howd you like to move in with Ginger ‘and me and Bubbles’ and Trixie? The bed’s lumpy and Trixie mores but you're welcome—as long as you don't mind the neon blinking in your face all night and the plaster falling when the El oes by. RUBY, Gee, that’s nice of you, but— Joa. If it's rent you're worrying about, forget it. So you're broke! We all are. Where's your suitcase? ‘Rony, My suitcase? (Locks around for it.) My sulteaset T lett {t on the bus! What am I gonna do? (Starts io faint.) Say, Miss — Joan, (Supporting Rusy.) The name's Joan, Rony, Joan, do you happen to have a Graham cracker on you? Joan. No; Why You hungry? way, Til say. T haven't eaien in three days, Joan. You poor kid! What you need is a good square meal, I just remembered, I got a Baby Ruth in my handbag. (Joas runs Ofstage.) (Rony staggers again 2 Dron eters though the house with sit case. He catches Rusy just as she faints.) SONG: “UT's You” Dick, If ISN'T JEAN HARLOW, IT ISN'T GRETA GARBO, IP's YOU, 11'S YOU, ITS You! Rosy. (Coming oround.) IT'S NOT LESLIE HOWARD, OR EVEN NOEL COWARD, IP's YOU, IT'S YOU, IP's You!ace DAMES AT SEA 9 IT ISN'T BERT WHEELER— { Dice, TT ISNT RUBY KEELER— OTH. NO ONE OF THEM, NO NONE OF THEM WILL DO! | Dre. NOT CLAUDETTE, Ropy. | OR CARY, JACK BENNY, i Dick, i OR MARY, Ruby. q's YOu, Dick, IT's You, Bort, I's YOu! Rosy, | IT ISN'T RICHARD ARLEN, OR SPANKY McFARLAND, | IPs You, IP's You, TT's yout cK, If ISNT AIMEE SEMPLE, OR EVEN SHIRLEY TEMPLE, IT's YOU, IT'S YOU, IT'S yout | Roy. i NOT AMOS OR ANDY Dick, "| OR ORPHAN ANNIE OR SANDY— Bork. NO ONE OF THEM, NO NONE OF THEM WILL DO! uy. NOT THE BARRYMORE TRIO Dick, i NOR DOLORES DEL RIO— ] Bors. IPS YOU, IT'S YOU, IT's You! (DANCE SECTION A LA Feo and Griozn,) Rusy, TT ISN'T CHARLIE FARRELL, Dick. IT ISN'T NANCY CARROL, Born, MY LUCKY STAR CAME TUMBLING FROM THE UE,10 DAMES AT SEA Act Rosy. 11'S NOT RUDY VALLEE, Dice. OR MARION "TALLEY NOT ONE OF THEM WILL DO— 11'S YOU, IT'S YOU, IT's You! Dick. (Handing her « battered suitcase.) This is yours, isn’t it? 1 followed you all the way from the bus depot, You left it in front of the water fountain, Ruy. (Opening the suitcase and revealing its total contents. one pair of tap shoes.) Gee, thanks. It’s all I have in the world. 1 sure would bate to lose these, I've had them ever since I was at ‘Madame Melba's Tap, Ballet, and Ballroom Academy. ‘Dick. Madame Melba’s? Say, where are you from? Rosy, Utah. Dick. You too? Not Centerville? Ruy. Why yest Dicx. Gosh! So am I. Say, haven't I seen you at Marigold’s ‘Drug Store on the corner of Main and Chestnut Street? Rooy, I wouldn't be surprised. My uncle's the proprietor, Dick. You mean Uncle Gus? Your uncle is Uncle Gus Marigold? Roby, During the summer I helped out at the soda fountaln, Dick, Then you're the girl who sold me an Eskimo Pie, I knew you were familiar, You know; if I hadn't joined up the next day, would have come back and ordered Eskimo Pies all day long. Roy. You would? You know Uncle Gus just loved to watch ‘me dance. “Ruby,” he said, “your feet sing! Those tapping toes of yours are gonna take you a long way.” ‘Dic, And so they have. You're on Broadway! Roby, Gosh! So Tam! Diox, You know when I look into those big blue eyes of yours, there's only one thing I want to do, ‘Rosy, What? Dick. Sing! Ropy. Anything else? Dicx. Yes. Dancel, Rusy. Oh, you're a dancer? Dick. Not exactly. T'm a sailor, Rupy. Ob. Dick, But not just any old sailor. You see, Fm a songwriter too. Ruy, (Jmpressed.) You are? Dick. (With determination.) Yeahl And you know, this cold canyon of steel and concrete doesn’t scare me ane bit, No siree- hob! When my hitch is over I'm coming beck to this burg and tur it upside down, I won't rest until everybody from the lowestacre DAMES AT SEA u Bowery bum to the ritzlest dame on Park Avenue ate singing my songs. (Goan enters with a Baby Ruth.) Joaw. Oh Ruby— (Seeing Dicx.) Excuse me! Rony, Oh Jona, 1 like you to meet— rox, Ie's Richard, but my ftiends call me Dick, Joan. (Shaking hands.) Put it there, Dick, (Indicating candy ber.) Still hungry, kid? Dick. Don't spoil your sppetite—Ruby. (With phony elec ance.) May T have the honor of taking you to lunch at one of New York's finest restaurants? ous. Which? Dick (Afaking a joke.) The Automat, of course. (Au Lough.) Joan. (Taking Rusy’s arm.) But first, Admiral, she’s gotta try on Glenda’s costume for the “Money, Money” number. I don't Know why—it’s only three pennies. (JOAN exits with Rupy in tow.) Dicx. What a day! What a girl! I feel... Ifeel . . . (Sud deny inspired, he pulls a small piano Onstage from the Wings.) Let's see— (To tune of “You Are My Lucky Star.”) I FOUND A BROADWAY ST— (Breaks off, shaking head.) Nol (He begins again, composing music and creating lyrics of| the top of his head.) SONG: “BROADWAY BABY” FOUND ME A BROADWAY BABY, SHE'S A HIT WITH ME, WHAT A SMASH, MY BROADWAY BABY, STANDING ROOM ONLY 1S ON THE MARQUEE. WITH MY NEON BROADWAY BEAUTY WHO COULD BE AFRAID? ME AND MY RIALTO CUTIE, WE'LL LEAD THE EASTER PARADE. ‘TOGETHER WELL CLIMB THAT STAIRWAY, WE'LL SOAR UP TO THE HEIGHTS, WHEN TIMES SQUARE IS OUR FREE-FROM-CARE ONE OF ‘THE SIGHTS—OUR NAMES UP IN LIGHTS.2 DAMES AT SEA act TEAMED UP WITH MY GOTHAM LOVELY WE WILL BE THE RAGE HOW DELUXE! HOW HEAVEN-ABOVE-LY FEATURED ON.EVERY FRONT PAGE. SLUMMING IN HARLEM OR TWENTY-ONE-ING IT, WEILL BB THE ENVY OF' ALL, WITH LUNCH AT SARDIS, NIGHT-LONG PARTIES, LIFES A GALA BALL WITH My RAZZLING-DAZZLING BROADWAY BABY DOLL (Spoken—music under.) Broadway! Street of @ thousand schemes and a million fears, Broadway! Street of a billion dreams and a tii tear Broadway! You river of humanity! How great can one atest get Fail, thrily, dizzy, jazzy Sassy, brassy, razz t-te. peared Til lick you yet! (Sung.) PLAYING THE PALACE, OR STARRING IN TALKIES, OR SINGING AT CARNEGIE HALL, WITH MY NEW YORKER, WHAT A CORKERI TLL BE KING OF ALL WHEN I SASHAY DOWN THE GREAT WHITE WAY WITH MY GREAT WHITE BABY DOLLI (MONA enters.) “Mowa. (Posing seductively.) Well! Hello! Dick, (Wide-eyed,) Hallo, Miss Kent. Mona, Ab—you know me? Dick. Gee whiz! Everyone knows Mona Kent, Your picture in the Roiogravure every Sunday. An item in Winchell every day! Gee, Miss Kent, you are glamorous! ‘Mona. “She moves in beauty like the night.” Ab, Shakespeare! —the Bird of Avon. What's your name, sailor? ‘Dex. Uh— Unb— Rickard. ‘Mona. Enchanté] ‘Tell me—Dick-—what was that you were singing just now? Dick. (Shyly.) Ob, it was just one of my songs. Mona. (Impressively.) It's good. Have you any tote? Dic. Well—er—yes, I do. (Pulls music froms under riiddy.) Moxa, (Glances at it Jor one full second.) It’s macveloust (Drex pulls out chair, sits at piano, Mona sits on top of i.)act DAMES AT SEA 8 SONG: “MISTER MAN OF MINE” NO KING OR TSAR, NO DEMPSEY OR GENE TUNNEY, NO MOVIE STAR, HIS FACE WAS KIND OF FUNNY— (She tosses music over her shoulder.) NO LOCHINVAR, BUT LORDIE HE HAD MONEY, THAT MISTER MAN OF MINE! HE LOVED ME $0, AND OH HOW WELL HE KNEW ME; WHEN T WAS LOW AND FEELING SAD AND GLOOMY, HE'D ALWAYS KNOW AND BRING HOME DIAMONDS TO ME, THAT MISTER MAN OF MINE! ONCE HE WAS A BIG SHOT SWIMMING IN CASH, CHAMPAGNE AND ROSES ALL AROUND, ‘YEAH: HE WAS A BIG SHOT, ‘THEN CAME THE CRASH, AND JACK CAME TUMBLING DOWN! MY LIFE IS BLACK SINCE THAT RICH MAN ADORED ME, TVE HAD NO LACK OF MEN BUT THEY ALL BORED ME, HE WANTS ME BACK BUT NOW HE CAN'T AFFORD ME, OURS WAS A FIRE WHOSE FLAME WAS TOO BRIEF, GONE'S MY DESIRE NOW HE'S ON RELIEF, THAT MISTER MAN OF MINE| Oh Dick, it’s divine! Tt gets you right here! Tell be perfect for my first act closer! (4 shadow SCREEN appears. As Mona re prises song, accompanied by “‘o0-00" Cronus, the Cast panto- mimes the story behind it, Talks it; Conus “oo's" under.) NO KING OR TSAR, NO DEMPSEY OR GENE TUNNEY, NO MOVIE STAR, HIS FACE WAS KIND OF FUNNY. NO LOCHINVAR,u DAMES AT SEA act 1 BUT LORDIE HE HAD MONEY, THAT MISTER MAN OF MINE! HE LOVED ME $0, AND OH HOW WELL HE KNEW ME; WHEN I WAS LOW AND FEELING SAD AND GLOOMY, HE'D ALWAYS KNOW AND BRING HOME DIAMONDS TO ME, ‘THAT MISTER MAN OF MINE! ONCE HE WAS A RIG SHOT SWIMMING IN CASH, CHAMPAGNE AND ROSES ALL AROUND, YEAH! HE WAS A BIG SHOT, THEN CAME THE CRASH AND JACK CAME TUMBLING DOWN! MY LIFE IS BLACK SINCE THAT RICH GUY ADORED ME, PVE HAD NO LACK OF MEN BUT THEY ALL BORED ME, HE WANTS ME BACK BUT NOW HE CAN'T AFFORD ME, THAT MISTER MAN OF MINE! OURS WAS A FIRE WHOSE FLAME WAS TOO BRIEF, GONE'S MY DESIRE NOW BE'S ON RELIEF, NO! I CAN'T LIVE ON KISSES SO T'LL NEVER BE MRS, TO THAT MISTER ‘MAN OF MINEI (Exhausted but exkitarated.) Oh Dick, it's nifty! IUM stop the show, Dick, come to my dressing room; and show me what other numbers you've got hidden up your middy. (Mona pulls Dice: Ofstage.) Lucky, (Entering jrom Wings.) Hey, Dick? Dick? Joan, (Entering from opposite side, unaware of Lucky.) Mr, Hennesey? Something terrible’s happened, something awful, Me, Hennesey? Lucky. (Sneahing up behind Joan.) Guess who? (Puts his honds over her eyes. Joan reacts bored, Then ke pinches ‘her. Joan reacts with delight.) Joas, (Without turning around.) Lucky, honey! Luexy, Joan babytact DAMES AT SEA 1s (They embrace enthusiastically. Joan removes Lucky's hands rom her backesides.) Joax. Hands off the display ease, Lucky, What’s wrong? Joan, The fruit spoils with hendling Lucky. So T like tomatoes .. . but don't I always come beck to you? ‘Joux. Yeah! Like a bad dream, Lucky, But whet about the swell times? Remember the whoopee ive had in Baltimore? Joan, Sure do. And Atlantic City—swell times, Lucx, Swell times! (Starts £o embrace Joan.) Joax. (Stopping him.) But that vas alll Lucky. What more do you want? Joan. (Slightly ensbarraseed.) What docs any girl want? Lucxy, Well, what? Joax. 1 tell you. SONG: “CHOO-CHOO.HONEYMOON” SOMETHING OLD, SOMETHING NEW, SOMETHING BORROWED, SOMETHING BLUE, AND A BRIDEGROOM JUST LIKE YOU. Luexy, WOO-WOO! Joan and Lucky. WE'LL GO GALLOPING FROM THE CHURCH TO THE STATION ON A BEAUTIFUL SUNDAY MORNING IN JUNE, WITH OUR TICKETS AND BAGS AND OUR RESERVATION ON A CHOO-CHOO HONEYMOON. THOUGH IT's CROWDED WE'LL BOTH CLIMB INTO THE UPPER AND. WE'LL LAY OFF THE PORTER'S BUZZER TILL ‘NOON. ‘THEN PLL GIVE HIM A TIP TO SNEAK IN OUR SUPPER ON A CHOO-CHOO HONEYMOON. WE'LL BE YICK-ET-Y-VICK-ET-V-YACKING WHILE WE UNDRESS, JOKING AND LAUGHING UNTIL WE HIT THE HAY, WB'LL GO CLICK-ET-Y-CLICK-ET-Y-CLACKING ON THAT LOVE EXPRESS,36 DAMES AT SEA acre KISSING AND COOING AND CUDDLING ALL THE ‘WAY, (OH BABY) ‘THE CONDUCTOR WILL TAKE A PEEK THROUGH ‘THE CURTAINS JUST TO TELL US THAT WELL BE GETTING IN SOON, THOUGH WE'RE SORRY THE TRIP IS OVER WE'RE CERTAIN, OUR TWO HEARTS ARE SINGING IN TUNE ON THAT RICK-ET-Y-RACK-ET-Y CHOO-CHOO CLICK-ET-Y-CLACK-ET-Y WOO-WOO CHOO-CHOO HONEYMOON! (PANCE SECTION IN WHICH PIANO 1S USED LIKE A TRAIN.) OUR TWO HEARTS ARE SINGING IN TUNE ON THAT RICK-ET-Y RACK-ET-Y CHOO-CHOO CLICK-ET-Y CLACK-ET-Y W00;WOO CHOO-CHOO HONEYMOON! NIAGARA! CHOO-CHOO, CHOO-CHOO, ‘CHOO-CHOO, SUNNY, CHOO-CHOO, CHOO-CHOO, CHOO-CHOO, FUNNY, CHOO-CHOO, CHOO-CHOO, CHOO-CHOO HONEYMOON! Joan. woo.Woo! Locxy. WOo-W6o! With a hey nonny nonny— Joas, And a botchachal Say, you big ugh How did you track mé down here? Lvexy. You might call it @ co-inky-dink. The fact is I was trailing a buddy of mine . . . (Seeing Dick and Ruoy enter, starry-eyed,) Hey, Dick, this is Joan! Rosy. I'm Ruby! Lvoxy. I'm Lucky, Moxa. (Entering.) And J’rt absolutely famished, Say, Dick— hhow about having lunch with me at my penthouse? Dick. With you, Miss Kent? Mona, Yes, The view is magnifquel Joan. On a clear day you can see Grant's Tomb, Mowa, I's absolutely stuffed with antiques—French, you know. Louis EX-LV. Rosy, But Dick! Mowa. (Crossing o Ruy.) Who ate you? I don't believe I've had the plaisir. Rupy. My name is Ruby.act DAMES AT SEA u Mows. I'm sure, Ob, Dick, I can't wait to hear more of your terrific tunes! Dick. You mean it? Mona, But of course, mon cher. Now zip down to the stage door and wait in my Packard. You can’t miss ity it matches my ensemble. Dick. (Esiting, head in the clouds.) Gosh! Hexvsey, (Endering.) Mona, where are you going? We're nin- ning the finale in five minates— Mona. Oh, no, we'te not—we're running it when I get back, Henesuv. You know Ihave half a mind— Mona. You're telling mel (Te Rupy,) Goodbye—ubhh— Rony. Ruby. Mona, Ruby, (To Joan.) All T can say is—she could use a litte pollshing. (Mona sweeps ou.) Lucy, (dgog.) Gee, was that relly Mona Kent? Joan. Yeah! Every Bolt and rivet of her! Lucky. Say, how ‘bout splitting a cup of java? Jon. Keep'my half warm, Lucky. (IVidh a half glance toward 4 jearfid Ruy.) Lm needed here, Lucky, Okay. The drugstore on the comer. Woo-woo! (Lucey exits) After a pause, Jou ofers Ruay ¢ handkerchie!. Then Joan shoots a look toward where MONA has exited.) Joa. That two-bit phny. Listen, I knew Mona Kent when she ‘Was Grace Topolovsky—from Fistbush. She was a dancer—yeaht A taxiedancer! Don't let her get you down, hone Rupy. I never want to sc either of them again, Mr. Hennesey was right. Brosdway is a jungle, I'm going back to Centerville where people are nice, (Svartst0 sit.) Jon, (Stopping her vocally.) Allright, go back! Forget Broad- sway! Forget your talent—your great talent —end go back to the Dutton counter at the five end ten, You aren't big enough for Broadway. It takes push and drive and guts, You gotta claw end scratch and fight every inch of the dirty way. How do-you Think. the others did it? The great ones? Look at Eagels. Look at Brice, Look at Bernhardt, She tos a lez! Repy. (Confused.) Oh, Joon, what should I do? Joss, You still wanna dance? Rusy. Ob, yes! Joax, You sill wanna be a Brosdway stae? Rony. Oh, yest Jon.’ (With grin seriousness.) Well, Ruby, there's oaly one wey. Rowy. How?i 18 DAMES AT SEA act Joan, Practice, kid, practice ... «5, 6,7, 8. (Reay begins to tap.) Thatta gisli Keep it up! T got a date with the last of the Big Spenders, (Joax exits.) (Ruse continues to tap.) Drox. (Running on.) Ruby, Miss Kent sent me back for her Pomeranian, Rupr. (Sull topping.) Y'm sorry, Dick, but I'm too busy for chitchat, Dick, ‘She only gave me five minutes. Ruby—please—t'm sory about the Automat, but—Ruby! Stop! (She does.) Can't YoU see that you're the only one for me in this whole screwy ‘world! (Drox draws Rony fo him.) You and me, that’s the only thing that makes sense, But what could I do when someone big, someone like Mona Kent wants to lis‘en to my songs? This could be the break I've been waiting for. Don’t you understand? Rony, (Firmly,) Yes! Yes! I do understand, Mona Kent could get your songs plastered all over Tin Pan Alley. (Gendly,) 1'd never stand in the way of your career. ‘Dick, Ditto. So let’s team up... for a lifetime, Rupy, (Rushing into his orms.) Ob, Dick! (They kiss.) Hexwrsev, (Crossing over.) Hey, sailor, Mona's buming up ATTAT. You beiter get over to her penthouse pronto, or she’s ‘gonna close this show before it opens, (Hunwzsry exits.) Rupv. (With great seif-sa rifce.) Go Dick, T want you to, But Dick—do you happen to have any stationery’ on you?” Dicx. What about this? (Takes music manuscript jrom middy.) Rosy, That'll do just fine, I have a very important letter to write, Dick. Oh? ome, To your Commande in Che. IENNBSEY. (Crossing over agoin,) Hey, swabbie, amscray! Eats.) (Dicx blows a Biss ond exits.) Rony. (Blowing a Riss in return.) Te's about you, (Rusy takes out a pencil and begins writing on manuscript paper.) SONG: “SAILOR OP MY DREAMS” DEAR MR. ROOSEVELT, PLEASE LET ME SAY I THINK YOUR NAVY'S JUST GREAT,act 1 DAMES AT SEA 19 TELL MRS. ROOSEVELT, THIS 18 MY DAY, FOR I JUST SAID YES TO A BOY'S REQUEST TO BECOME HIS FIRST CLASS MATE, BEFORE I WENT TO SLEEP EACH NIGHT I USED TO PRAY, ‘THE ONLY BOY FOR ME WOULD SOME DAY COME MY WAY. NOW THAT HE'S HERE PLL LOVE AND HONOR AND OBEY. THE SAILOR OF MY DREAMS! WHEN HE SAID “GEE YOU'RE SWELL” AND TOOK ‘ME BY THE HAND, I FELT LIKE I WAS ALICE LOST IN WONDERLAND. AH-AH! SWEET MYSTERY OF LIFE—I UNDERSTAND ‘THE SAILOR OF MY DREAMS! IN SCHOOL I THOUGHT LOVE NOT WORTH SPEAKING OF, IT WAS JUST FOR BABES IN THE WOOD, BUT ONE LITTLE KISS NOW MAKES ME’ INSIST IT's GOOD! IT's GOOD! IT'S GOOD! AS HE JUST TOOK THE NAVY OATH TO BE ALL MINE. TLL DARN HIS SOCKS AND WASH HIS SHIRTS UNTIL THEY SHINE. OH, MR. ROOSEVELT, YOUR FLEET IS $0 DIVINE! T COULD GO ON FOR REAMS ABOUT MY DREAM-MAN, MY GENTLE HE-MAN ‘THE MAN-FOR-ME-MAN, MY FIRST CLASS SEA-MAN, THE SAILOR OF MY DREAMS! (AE the end of the song, a vision of Dicx appears from behind the Curtain above Ruby's head.) BLACKOUT4 20 DAMES AT SEA act ACT ONE Scens 2 Rosy is sill tapping, Hesse crosses over with tin of aspirin, Henarsev, (Stoppine.) That's wrone, Ruby, wrong, wrong, wrong, (Haxsxsey does dance step. Rusy docs step.) That's Detter, (RUBY continues 1o lap. He exits and returns gulping water from paper cup.) No, no, its shuille step, sbule step, step, step ‘brush, op step. Rony, (Ae she docs the step.) Shufle step, shufle step, step, step brush, hop step. ‘Hennessey, (Esaiperoted.) ‘Thank you very much. (He exits.) (Joaw and Lucky enter.) Joan, (Seeing Rusy.) Hey! Tappy-toes! You'll wreck the par- quet— (Rony stops topping.) Lueny. (Holding up paper bag.) Pheasant under glass, anyone? (Ruy crosses to get food.) Jou, With sauerkraut or mustard? Henwesey. (Enters ond blows his top.) What is this? A dress rehearsal or a Roman banquet! (Hexwesey shoves them of the Stage one ot a time.) Luexy, (Last in line,) But I'm not even in the show! Hawwrsey, (Ofstage when Ars. have exited.) All right 8, 6, 7, Bee (Ofstage TAPPING, Moxa ond Dick enter and Mona orders ‘Dick to tet plano and stool, She crosses Left.) Mona. Stop... stop... . stop! (TAPPING stops.) Quiet please. Hennesey, come out here, I've an announcement to make, FPve just discovered a new De Syiva, Henderson and Hrown rolled into one—Dick! He's written something, and it's superb, And it’s going into the show, (HENMESEY about 0 protest.) Ababa, Hennesey! It's it or me, ing it to us! (Moxa, Hanwesey exit.) Dick. (At piano, shyly.) Well, see, it’s this sort of musical trag-act DAMES AT SEA a dy, nspited by this buddy of mine. (Suddenly becomes profes. Sonal, dramatic) Tall begins in the squalid native quarter of downtown Singapore, A lost, heart-broken sailor plainively calls for his missing swvestheart. Lucey. (Oftage.) Sue! Dox, jean set now swexe, (Ofstage.) Suel Dick, —just as if it were happer ‘on this very stage +. (Lucky appears in spot.) Luexy. Sue! (Drees begins singing, Lucey tahes over.) SONG: “SINGAPORE SUB” Dick, Lucey. WHERE ARE YOU, MY ORIENTAL PEARL? WHERE ARE YOU, MY LOVELY CHINA GIRL? SINCE THE NIGHT YOU VANISHED IN THE MALAY EVENING ‘THERE'S NO BEAUTY IN THIS LONELY WORLD, 80 SWEET AND SOFT AND GENTLE, MY FAVORITE ‘ORIENTAL, ‘THE NICEST GIRL ASHORE IS SINGAPORE SUE. OF ALL THE CHINESE LASSES, THE ONLY ONE THAT PASSES WITH SUCH A PERFECT SCORE 1S SINGAPORE SUE. WHILE WALKING DOWN BY THE HARBOR T WAS LOST _AND SUNK UNTIL SHE WINKED AND ASKED ME TO INSPECT HER JUNK. ‘THOUGH IT WAS DAMP AND ROTTEN, I NEVER HAVE FORGOTTEN HER HAND IN MINE UPON THE PROW, I STILL CAN PBEL ITS SOFTNESS NOW" T ADORE SINGAPORE SUE Diex. Then Lucky learns to his horror that Singapore Sue has been shanghaled? Ske has been forced to become—a lotus blossom fin, in that notorious den of drugs, gambling and... . Yes, Madame Sin-Sin's! (GONG. Set PANELS open. An Oriental idot and Chinese lanterns appear. Mabanz: SIN-Stx enters.) Aiged by her lascivious henchmen, Dung Wong, (GONG. Dowo Woo enters.) Madame Sin-Sin nightly lures unwary bivejackets to ther untimely doom, (Locxy enters. As before Diex begins singing, Lucy takes over.)2 DAMES AT SEA acti Dre, Lucxy. WHERE 1S MY SUE SO SWEET AND DEAR? IN THE SMOKE OF THIS DEN, SHE'S FOREVER LOST, I FEAR. (Sux enters. Sue cliches a vei. Sov-Sux rigs i of. She and Dono Wont urge Sux jorvard.) Manance Sov-Stw and Woo. (Siig.) IN EVERY TOWN AND VALLEY, FROM PEKING DOWN TO BALI, ‘THE BOYS GO SIMPLY NUTS FOR SINGAPORE SUE, Lucky. (Spoken.) Ob, no! I NEVER WILL AGAIN FIND CONTENTMENT WHEN SHE'S NEAR, ‘THERE ARE TOO MANY MEN WHO HAVE MADE HER INSINCERE. Manan Six-Smx and Wono. SHE CAUSES LOTS OF SCANDAL WHEN SHE REMOVES HER SANDAL FOR MEN GALORE WHO GO FOR SINGAPORE SUE, Sux. (In front of idol.) I FIND I’ EASY AS PIE TO CAPTURE ANY MAN 1 DO IT WITH A GESTURE OF MY DAINTY FAN. Mapawe Sn-Sim and Won. JUST FOLLOW HER, SHE'LL SHOW YOU ‘A PARADISE, 1 KNOW YoU" WILL FIND THAT SUE WILL SATISFY, SO MUCH THAT "TIL THE DAY You bis YOU'LL ADORE SINGAPORE SUE, YOU'LL ADORE SINGAPORE SUE. Lucky. WHERE DID MY LOVE-LIFE DISAPPEAR? IN THIS BLACK HOLE. OF SIN, IT IS MORE THAN CRYSTAL CLEAR THE SUE I WANTED FOR MY BRIDE IS NOT HERE, ‘THE SUE I WANTED FOR MY BRIDE IS NOT HERE. Drex. But Sue can't go through with it, Her love for Lucky is too strong. (Mananer Six-Sms, angered by Sux's disloyalty, pushes her into the arms of the idol which strangles her. Mapas Siv-Sis and Dune Wone exit, Lucky toes Suz in his erms.) Lucey, (Sings.) TLL SHOW YOU ALL ST. LOUIS, AND YOU CAN FIX ‘CHOP SUEY— (Sue dies.)act DAMES AT SEA E 23 OH NO! THIS DREAM IS NEVERMORE, SINCE ANGELS HIGH ON HEAVEN'S SHORE NOW ADORE SINGAPORE SUE. (Lucky sobs and exits with Sux.) (Gone.) BLACKOUT ACT ONE Scene 3 Backstage. Ruwy enters, Ruy. Oh, Dick! It was keen! Dearest, when Pm a famous star and you're a famous writer, would yow write & musical show for me? Dick. Any time! (Loud NOISE Ofstage. Runv throws herself into Dicx’'s arms.) Rony. What was that? Dick, (Reassuring her.) Ob, nothing, just a car backfiring, (Lucky enters.) What was that, Lucky? Lucky. T don’t know, but there’s a bulldozer in the lobby and itis heading for the orchestra. (Another loud NOISE.) Golly gee willickers! Pick. Don't worry, Ruby, I'm here! What's going on, Lucky? Lucky, T don’t know, but T'm going to find out, (Hee starts to leave as Hswnesey enters) Hewneser, Peaches is four months pregnant, Engle-nosed Eddie Wants to put his moll in the finale, the sequins in the Bird of Paradise number are moulting—and how this! (Another CRASH is heard, Mow enters.) Mows. Mon dieu! Really, Hennesey, how do you expect ine to Temember my lines with all this racket going on? Hxwesex. Miss Kent—Mona, kids. There's something I gotta tell you— (Gonerat Ad-tib: “What's upt” etc.) ‘Mowa, Well, what is it?24 DAMES AT SEA act 1 (Au sit, kneel, etc. except MONA and HpNNESEY.) NOTE: For optional song to replace the following monologue, see p. 59. Hewwesey, You know the work I've put into this show? The days and nights of rehearsing a routine over and over wntil we @ropped—and then throwing it out because it was lousy! Lousy! So far “Dames At Sea” has cost me my bank balance, my hesith, and now my wife! (Ad-Libs.) She seid “Choose, Harry, its either it or mei" Now what choice does any real trovper have? It was far diferent when we lived at the Ritz and Verlety headlined ‘“Hlundredih Hit for Horry Vlennesey!” Yeoh! But that was before Lady Luck banded me twelve Moperoos in a row. An even dozen! With “Dames” I was gonna make my big comebeck. But when the Shylocks screamed ior their pound of gelt, the well was dry. They sold the theatre tight out, from under my heart, (Loud NOISE.) You heat that? Soe call it progress—but it's really Harry Hennesey's Swan Song, It’s the W.P.A., kids, they're teer- ing dovn the theatre. (More Ad Libs: “Oh nol You don't mean itl”) Mowa, (Furious.) Why wasn’t I told? Honesty, They're tuning it into a roller rink, Joan. A roller rinkt Mowa. That means the show can't open Joax. But its opening night! Lucky. And you gotta open on opening night. Ruy. And i's my big bresk on Brordiey. ‘Mona, (Taking to Rusy—menacing.) Ohhh? Lucky. Oh, by the way, Miss Kent, did you know that they spelled your name wrong on the marquee? Mowa, What? (Grosses to Hennesny, slaps him, He is knocked to his knces.) ‘Lucky. They switched the A and the N . . . Moan Kent! (Mona stalks Ofstoge and returns with a ladder which she drags back across Stage ond of.) ‘Hexwasev. That does it. Joan, post the closing notice? I haven't the strength, ‘ALL. Oh, no! Rusy. You mean—you mean. Howwusey. Yeah, kid! Utah! Rupy. Ob, no! (Ske swoons, Drex catches her.)acti DAMES AT SEA as Drex, Straighten up, Ruby, straighten up! You're not going to Utah, Nobody's going anywhere. We'te all staying right here until ‘we lick this thing. You're all right now, aren't you? ‘Rusy, Tam now, Thanks to you, Dick, Dick. What's all the commotion about? We stil got the scenery, don't we? Henwesey. Yeah, Dicx. And the costumes? Honnesey. Yeah. Dick, Then we still got a fighting chance, don't we? Well, don’t we? (Wo one reacts but Ruby.) Ruey. Yes, Dick! Dick, All we need is a theatre, Henesey. Yeah! Just try and find one. Joan. Got twenty-five G's on you? Rosy, Listen to Dick, everyone, even if it is hopeless. Dick, what are we going to do? Dic, Let me put all my cards on the table: I don’t know, But Vin working on it, Ruay. Don't be downtearted, Mr. Hennesey, Dick will find a w Joan. Yeah, buck up! So it’s your thirteenth turkey! So what? Ics my one hundred and tenth! Hrnwesex. T got a cold Joan, Cut the malarkey Hrnnesry. I got a headsche, Joan. Tel it to the marines. Hunwesex. I got the grippe. Joa. Baloney! Lucxy, He does ldok 2 bit green around the gills, What does be have? naKiPY and Drew. Yeah? (MUSICAL INTRO.) What does be ve SONG: "GOOD TIMES ARE HERE TO STAY” Joan. IT’S NOT THAT HE’S HIT THE SLUMPS— Dick. No? Joan. OR FALLEN INTO THE DUMPs— Ruy. No? Diex. DOES HE HAVE THE HEEBIE-JERBIES6 DAMES AT SEA aor Rosy. OR THE JITTERS Lucey. OR THE DOOMS? Joan. No, bat you're warm, Dick and Ruoy, What does he have? Joan. ‘THE GLOOMS! ‘Att Four, The glooms? ‘Joan, Yeah, and they're very common today. THERE'S THE EMPTY-POCKET GLOOMS, THE EMPTY CUPBOARD GLOOMS, ‘THE STRIKELINE GLOOMS, THE DOMESTIC GLOOMS, THE FOREIGN GLOOMS, THE MEN, WOMEN AND LITTLE CHILDREN GLOOMS— HENnzsey, Stop! Joan. 1 KNOW HOW TO MAKE THEM DISAPPEAR! Rupy, How? Jou. 11’s MY OWN IDEA, A NEW PANACEA~ SWEEP YOUR GLOOMS AWAY WITH A SONG! ‘Aut Four, A song? Jon, Yeah, like this! (Long Mermenesque note.) ANHEHAMHHAEEH LOOK DOWN ON US, ST. PETER, FROM YOUR GOLDEN THRONE IN ‘THE SKY, ABNHHHHHHHH! LISTEN TO US, ST. PETER, WE'LL NEVER, NEVER, NEVER— ‘You gotta have faith, kids Bows. NO, WE'LL NEVER, NEVER, NEVER Believe! Believe! Guus. NO, WE'LL NEVER, NEVER, NEVER— Au. SAY DIEE Jax. 80 LOOK FOR THE GOLD MINE ‘THAT COMES WITH ‘THE SUNSHINE WITH DIAMONDS STRUNG UP ON EACH DAY, DISCOVER A TREASURE EACH DAY OF THE YEAR, GOOD TIMES ARE HERE TO STAY!acer DAMES AT SEA a” ESCAPE FROM THOSE DOLDRUMS AND BEAT ON THOSE BOLD DRUMS, WE'RE HERE IN THE FRACAS TO STAY, PLUNGE INTO THE BATTLE, LLL HAND YOU A SPEAR, GOOD TIMES ARE HERE TO STAY! NO NEED TO BE TEARFUL, OUR LEADERS ARE CHEERFUL, ABOUT THE GREAT FUTURE WE'VE GOT. EACH MEAL WILL BE CLASSY FOR EACH LAD AND LASSY WITH A CHICKEN IN EVERY POT. WHY FUSS ABOUT MONEY WHEN OUTSIDE IT's SUNNY AND KIDDIES ARE SINGING AT PLAY? JUST_TOSS THEM SOME COINS AS YOU SHOUT “SANTA’S HERE!” GOOD TIMES ARE HERE TO STAY! (General Adstibs, Aux ae cheered up except Hivewesey, Joa crosses to him.) JUST WAIT ‘TIL THE RAIN GOES TO FOLLOW THE RAINBOWS, CLIMB OUT OF THAT WET, MUDDY CLAY, YOU'LL FIND OUT THAT LIVING’ A THING OF GOOD CHEER GOOD TIMES ARE HERE TO STAY! WHEN DOUBTS OF TOMORROW BRING WORRY AND ‘THAT HAUNT YOU WHEN YOU HIT THE HAY, IMAGINE A PIXIE WHO SAYS IN YOUR FAR Runy. Every day in every way you're getting better and better. Ait. GOOD TIMES ARE, HERE TO STAY! DON’T SPUTTER WITH CURSES WHEN HITTING REVERSES AND GETTING THAT BIG CUT IN PAY, Joan. STOP ACTING THE MOURNER, GET OUT OF THAT CORNER AND SMILE THE AMERICAN WAY, ‘ALL. HOORAY!28 DAMES AT SEA act WHEN YOU HEAR THE THUNDER DON’T CRY AND GO UNDER, IPS JUPITER HAVING HIS DAY, JUST HOLLER UP TO HIM, YELL IN HIS EAR, SING OUT THE BLUES TODAY, GOOD TIMES ARE HERE TO’sTAY! GOOD TIMES, FROM NOW ON, ARE HERE TO STAY— GOOD TIMES ARE HERE TO STAY! (Ad-Libs ofter “GOOD TIMES," os Aux crowd around Joas.) Diox. (Suddenly inspired.) I got it! Yeah! Tim sure of it. ‘What's the name of this showe Hunwesry and Joan, “Dames at Sea.” Mona. (Entering and crossing with ledder,) Mona Kent in "Dames at Sea.” Dick. But what's the show about? ‘Hewwesny. Dames! ‘Dicx, But where? ‘Att. At seat Dick. Wall? Lucky, You mesn—? Dick. Why not? Lucxy. On the batileship? Are you crazy? What would the Captain say? ‘Mona, (Kidding.) Which Captain? Bligh? Homblower? Captain Courageous? Bors. Yeah! Dick. That's our skipper! Moa, You don’t mean “Kewpie-Doll” Courageous is your ‘comimander? Well! Just leave him to mel (Ad-Libs.) Lucky, Now we got the grestst producer in the world. Ropy, Who? arox. Uncle Sart Rony, Vole mean-you mean—? Dre. Yes, Ruby! The show's opening tonight, on schedulet usr. Ohy Dick, [knew you could do i Hennessey, But that means we got to move seven tons of costumes and scenery. Ruay. TM help you, Mr, Hennesey. yale Ob, Didi gues TH nee en escort though he any Joan: Just follow the eet. Hrxazsey. Wail, Mona, are you sure you can swing it?acs DAMES AT SEA 29 Moxa. Listen—when it comes to Naval affairs, Dve been com pared to fohn Paul Jones. (Sings.) JUST WAIT ‘TTL ‘THE RAIN GOES TO FOLLOW THE RAINBOWS, CLIMB OUT OF THAT WET, MUDDY CLAY, YOU'LL FIND OUT THAT LIVINGS A THING OF GOOD CHE} GOOD TIMES ARE HERE To sTav! Rosy. WHY FUSS ABOUT MONEY WHEN OUTSIDE ITS SUNNY AND KIDDIES ARE SINGING AT PLAY? Dick, JUST TOSS THEM SOME COINS AS YOU SHOUT “SANTA'S HERE!” GOOD TIMES ARE HERE TO STAY! Tou, DON’T SPUTTER WITH CURSES WHEN HITTING REVERSES AND GETTING THAT BIG CUT IN PAY, STOP ACTING THE MOURNER, GET OUT OF THAT CORNER, AND SMILE THE AMERICAN WAY. WHEN YOU HEAR THE THUNDER DON'T CRY AND GO UNDER, 17'S JUPITER HAVING HIS DAY. JUST HOLLER UP ‘TO HIM, YELL IN HIS EAR SANTA IS HEREI” GIVE A BIG CHEER, GOOD TIMES ARE HERE TO STAY! SAY, HAND ME A SPEAR THE MILLENNIUM'S NEAR, GOOD TIMES ARE HERE TO STAY! HEY! ‘Hunwesey, “The only thing to fear is fear itself.” (Loud EXPLOSION Offstage.) Au. TODAY! FOR GOOD TIMES ARE HERE TO. (The SCENERY shakes.) GOOD TIMES ARE HERE TO—30 DAMES AT SEA aera (Loud NOISES.) GOOD TIMES ARE HERE TO STAY! (Henwesey hands props to Cast Mearns who pass them Gown, ‘BRICKS fall.) Hunwesey, Clear, clear! (As the CURTAIN closes the Casr runs of the Stage down the ‘aisle of the theatre.) END OF ACT ONEACT TWO Scene 1 . On board the battleship. Dick and Lucxy are swabbing the deck ‘with mops and pails, Dice. TM CRAZY ABOUT THE NAVY— Lucky. TM CRAZY ABOUT IT, TOO— Bora, WE'RE IN THE PAY'OF THE US.A. DOING DUTIES WE'RE PROUD TO DO. Dick. (Seeing Carratn as he enters.) Ok, Captain! Captain! Captann. What is it, sailor? rex. We have a complaint, si. Lucy. Yeah, Cartatn. Oh? Bors. WE'RE CRAZY ABOUT THE NAVY— Cartan. TM CRAZY ABOUT IT TOO. Bort, FROM STERN TO BOW OUR SHIP'S A WoW— Cartan. I FULLY AGREE WITH Vou. Boni, BUT SIR, THE NIGHTS ARE SO LONELY AS OUR BATTLESHIP SAILS THROUGH THE DEEP, IN OUR HAMMOCKS WE LIE THINKING “IF ONLY ‘THERE WERE GIRLS TO SING US TO SLEEP.” Caprawy, What? Bors. WE GOT A FLOCK OF CUTIES IN EVERY PORT, AN OVERFLOW OF BEAUTIES, WE'RE NEVER SHORT OF WOMEN YOUNG AND OLB, WE KNOW EVERY SOR’ BUT DAMES AT SEA. Dick, THAT TIME A SCOTCH LASS WINKED, 1 STUMBLED AND FELL— Locxy, MY SWEETIE IN PAREE'S A SWELL OF A BELLE— aL2 DAMES AT SEA acr Bom, BUT WHEN THE OCEAN'S RAGING WE MISS LIKE HELL ‘THOSE DAMES AT SEA! Dick. IN THE ATLANTIC WE GET SO FRANTIC Born, FOR GIRLS WE LEFT ON THE SHORE— Lucxy, IN THE ADRIATIC WHEN THINGS GET STATIC Dick. Wi'D LOVE TO HAVE A MATEY WITH A NAME LIKE SAL OR SADIE— Lvexy, HE'S A NICE GUY, DICK, HE'S REALLY A PAL— Dick, AND LUCKY’S MY BEST FRIEND BUT HE AIN'T ‘NO GAL. Born, WE NEED SOME FRILLY SKIRTS TO BOOST OUR MORAL SOME DAMES AT SEAI ‘ALL. WITH GREAT ELATION WE SERVE OUR NATION, THIS NAVY LIFE WOULD BE GRAND, WITH SOME BEAUTIFUL, LUSCIOUS, LOVELY DAMES AT SEA! (The Tee Grnxs, dressed as Saitorcttes, appear like a vision over the Boys’ heads.) Rosy, I LIKE A SAILOR BOY, A SEAMAN WHO IS THOUGHTFUL AND SWEET. Joan. GIVE ME A BOSUN’S MATE, A GOB ‘TO SWEEP ME RIGHT OFF MY FEET, Mona, YOU TAKE THE BOYS, MY DEAR, TLL TAKE THE MAN IN CHARGE OF THE FLEET. mL. WERE DAMES AT SEAI Run I'LL MEND HIS HAMMOCK, PRESS HIS JUMPER, BAKE'A PIE FOR HIS MESS. Mona, TLL HELP HIM LOAD HIS AMMUNITION WHEN HIS SHIP'S IN DISTRESS,acr DAMES AT SEA 3 som. dieu my searnone Unni I SIGNALS S08 is. WE'RE DAMES AT SEA. WirH OUR DEVOTION THEY'D SAIL THE OCEAN AND STRIVE FOR OUR UNCLE Sabi (Grats disappeor.) Bors. ‘THOUGH WE'RE FAR FROM WEALTHY, WE'RE STRONG AND HEALTHY, ‘THE ONLY THING WE'RE MISSING IS SOME PETTING AND SOME KISSING. Lucky. THOUGH THE GALS GO GAGA FOR US IN GREECE Dick, AND MAD'MOISELLES GO CRAZY WHEN WE HIT NICE— Lucky. WE'D FIGHT ANOTHER WAR Dick. FOR FREEDOM AND PEACE Born. AND DAMES AT SEA! At. WITH FIRM DECISION AND STEADY VISION WE CARRY ON FOR OUR LAND. Lucky, ALL WE WANT IS BABIES ON OUR KNEE, Dick. WE CAN Kiss AND CUDDLE CONSTANTLY, Aub, JUST SOME BEAUTIFUL, LUSCIOUS, LOVELY DAMES AT SEA— Carcamy, DAMES AT SEAI Aut. JUST ‘SOME BEAUTIFUL, LUSCIOUS, LOVELY DAMES JUST SOME BEAUTIFUL, LUSCIOUS, LOVELY DAMES JUS, SOME BEAUTIFUL, LUSCIOUS, LOVELY DAMES \T SEAL Carsars, (Coming Beck 10 reality.) No dates! Haven't you boys read Section IZ, Pargeraph A of the Seaman's Manval? Lvozy, Not recenly, si. Captain, It says “No dames.” I mean “No ladies” at sea,Sere eee CS i te 3a DAMES AT SEA act Drox. (Calling fo Moxa Ofsiage.) Miss Mona Kent, sil Carats. Not the Mona Kent? The one who's opening tonight at the Hippodrome? (Boys tiptoe out.) ‘Mona, (Entering.) Correct. Except that we're not opening at the Hippodrome, Captain, we'te opening right here! This is per- fection! Now, while I descend on my moon from that gun-turret, the chorus girls will slide down the yard-arm— ‘CaPTAIN. Impossible! Moxa, Tinpossible? Kewpie-Doll? Capzain, Thundering torpedo-tubes! It’s Consuelo! ‘Mowa. Si si, Kewpie-Doll. Remember the night we met? Captain. You were the waitress who served me chili con carne! Mons. And you were the sailor who broke my heart... Listen. (Mtamacas are heard. The SRY switches from Blud to a tem pestuous orange) SONG: “THE BEGUINE? Moa. ‘THE BEGUINE, I HEAR THE BEGUINE, DEEP IN MY HEART IT'S BEATING A WILD TATTOO, ‘THE BEGUINE, THAT FATAL BEGUINE, RECALLING TROPICAL GLOOM, ORCHIDS IN BLOOM, PUNGENT PERFUME—AND YOU! DO YOU REMEMBER PENSACOLA? SULTRY DESIRE, PASSIONS ON FIRE UNDER THE ‘MOON. ‘THOSE NIGHTS OF SPLENDOR IN PENSACOLA, LosT IN YOUR ARMS UNDER THE PALMS NEAR THE LAGOON. YOU WERE SO TENDER IN PENSACOLA WHILE GUITARS PLAYED A HAUNTING, TAUNTING TUNE, 1 SURRENDERED IN PENSACOLA. WAS I MAD, WAS I WRONG? TO BE GLAD YOU WERE STRONG? NO, I LONG FOR PENSACOLA AGAIN!act DAMES AT SEA as Caprans. THE BEGUINE, I HEAR THE BEGUINE, DEEP IN MY HEART (T'S BEATING A WILD TATTOO, THE BEGUINE, THAT FATAL BEGUINE, RECALLING TROPICAL GLOOM, ORCHIDS IN BLOOM, PUNGENT PERFUME—AND YOU! YES, I REMEMBER PENSACOLA, SULTRY DESIRE, PASSIONS ON FIRE UNDER THE MOON. Bora, | THOSE NIGHTS OF SPLENDOR IN PENSACOLA, i LOST IN YOUR ARMS, f UNDER THE PALMS, NEAR THE LAGOON. Moxa. YOU WERE SO TENDER Bor, IN_PENSACOLA— Capra, WHILE GUITARS PLAYED A HAUNTING, TAUNTING TUNE Moxa. 1 SURRENDERED Captan. TN PENSACOLA— ‘Mona, WAS T MAD? Captain. | WERE YOU WRONG TO BE GLAD I WAS STRONG? ‘Mona. Not Bors, HOW WE LONG FOR PENSACOLA AGAIN! Mona, Do we get zce ship? Captain, Si, si. Mona. Nice little yacht you got here, Kewpie-Doll. It must have cost you a pretty penny. Cavan, Oh, didn’t you hear? We Courageouses are doing very well these days. Mother just bought Sears-Roebuck. ‘Moxa. (Massive take.) OH? Carcant, Yes, she traced Montgomery Ward for it. Mona. So T guess your scrambled eggs are from Cartier? Capzats, No, Tifany, Mowa. Ab, la met! (She looks at sea, turns green, staggers, Capramn catches her.) Ob, Ja mer. Remember Low I’ even got36 DAMES AT SEA act quagy in the tunnel of foe? Could you get me 8 carbonate of soda: Capzany, Your wish, dear, Is my commend. Mowa. (To CarratN, ar she sees Dicx enter.) With a, bromo chaser? (Carzain exifs'end Moxa crosses to Dtcx.) Ob, hhave great news for you. Dice. You have? ‘Moxa. As I'm simply gaga about your marvelous melodies, 1 told Hennesey to get rid of all the trashy numbers and put yours in instead. Dick. Really? Does thet mean I'll have my netne up in Tights? Mona. You are eager, aren't you? You know, Dick, adore that Ter Stax” number especially, Just wait “il you see me in my star-spangled bell-bottoms. ‘Dick, Gee, Mise Kent, you've made this the happiest day of my life! ‘Mow, Good! Now let's see what I can do for your nights (She suddenly gives him a deep, passionate hiss. Rusy enters, sees them, rushes of, horrorstruck, The CaPrain enters with drink, humming “THE BEGUINE.” Dicx hears Captain, leaps ‘up to solute. Mona drinks Bicarbonate. neat.) Delicious! Ob, Kewpie-Doll, this is Dick! Oh dear, T guess you've met already, west ce pas? Don't you work together or something Tike that? ‘Captain. (Seevhing.) Something like that. Dick. Ubh—I betier see about—uhh—swabbing down the hatches! ‘Mona, Not yet, dear, Kewpie-Doll, id you have any idea that between the fore end ait of this oversized tin bucket of yours, you've been harboring e musical virtuoso? Carrars. You don't say! Mowa. But I do! Dick here just reeks with talent! Reeks with, Itt He's a regular Broadway Beethoven—only much more attrac- Ave, ‘CaPzarw, Indeed! Tell me, Ludwig, what sonata was thet you were playing on her keyboard just now? ‘Mosta. Now, Kewpie-Doll, It was only an arpegsto. Dick and T were hard at work, weren’t we, Dick? I was auditioning him for my big love scene in the second act. Carrant, How was he? Mowa. Promising. Very promising, But not half as much as you are, Captain, darling, Don't you know Mona Kent only allows '2 man of maturity and rank to s.eer her rudder? A man like, your- self, Kewpie-Dol ‘Cavratx, Really, Consieo, tally? (She offers her check to be kissed, which tte docs.)act ar DAMES AT SEA a7 Moxa, Tell me, darling, what arrangements have you made for my dressing room? (Caprain. Will my cabin do? Mowa. Will you put a star on the doot? A big, silver one? Cartan. No siree! A big gold onel This is the navy, my dear. (He solutes.) (Drex grabs his chance, salutes and exits.) ‘Moxa. (Swosying again.) Oh! This time I am dizey! Cartan, Will you be able to perform? Mona, Are you kidding? (Mona and Cartan exit, Lucicy enters, searching Jor JOAN.) Lucy. Joanie gorgeous, where are you? (Seeing Runy, who Jhas just entered.) Ruby, where’s Joan? She's supposed to show me hhow to run the spotlight. (Ruay és too sed to speak.) Ley, what's wrong? Rony. (Trying (o be brave.) Nothing, Lucky, nothing, But why has the sky farned dark so auddenly? Lucky. Whatcha talkin’ about? I's light as day, Are you sure you're all right? Rupy. Oh yes. A little spray got in my eye, that's all. Joan’s in the engine-room, Lucky, (He starts out.) The engine room? Rony. Yes, Some sailors are shoving ber the works, Lucky, Oh? Oh! (He exits furiously.) Rupy. Oh, Dick! Dick! How could you? SONG: “RAINING IN MY HEART? PITTER, PATTER WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH ME? PITTER, PATTER, RAIN IS ALL THAT I SEE, WHERE IS MY RAINCOAT? IT’S HERE SOMEWHERE. WHY WEAR A RAINCOAT? THE WEATHER'S FAIR. BUT EVER SINCE I SAW HIM DEPART IT’S BEEN RAINING, RAINING IN MY HEART. WHERE ARE MY RUBBERS TO FORD THE STORM? WHAT GOOD ARE RUBBERS? OUTSIDE IT'S WARM, BUT EVER SINCE HEAVEN FELL APART, IT'S BEEN RAINING, RAINING IN MY HEART. ONCE I SAW A COTTAGE ON SUNSHINE LANE, A FAIRY PALACE IN DISGUISE,38 DAMES AT SEA act I DONT SEE IT NOW, IT MUST BE RAIN THAT'S GETTING IN 'MY EYES. WHERE'S MY UMBRELLA? AND WHERE'S MY GUY? NEED THAT FELLA TO KEEP ME DRY, IT WON'T HELP IF THE SUNSHINE SHOULD START (It begins to RAIN.) °CAUSE IT'S RAINING IN MY HEART. (The rest of the Case enter in stickers, with cellophane wmbrellas which they open ond close and form patterns around her. Rosy i framed in a red, heart-shaped spot.) Cuorus, WHERE 18 HDR RAINCOAT? IT’S HERE SOMEWHERE, WHO NEEDS A RAINCOAT? THE WEATHER'S FAIR, BUT EVER SINCE I SAW HIM DEPART. Rosy, IT'S BEEN RAINING, RAINING IN MY HEART. Cronus WHERE ARE HER RUBBERS TO FORD THE STORM? WHAT GOOD ARE RUBBERS? OUTSIDE IT'S WARM, Rosy. BUT EVER SINCE HEAVEN FELI, APART, IT'S BEEN RAINING, RAINING IN MY HEART, Capramn, ONCE SHE SAW A COTTAGE ON SUNSHINE LANE, A FAIRY PALACE IN DISGUISE, Rony, DON'T SEE IT NOW, IT MUST BE RAIN ‘THAT'S GETTING IN MY BYES, WHERE'S MY UMBRELLA? AND WHERE’ LNEED THAT FELLA TO KEEP ME DRY If WON'T HELP IF THE SUNSHINE SHOULD START ‘CAUSE IT’S RAINING IN MY HEART. MY GUY? (At end of song, Ruy alone om stage, Dick enters.) Dick. (Brigitly.) Ruby, T've been looking all over for you (Noticing her sadness.) Whats the matter? Ruwy, (Hiding her emotions.) Please, Dick, if somewhere in your heart you have an ounce of fealing—please— (She turns way.) Dick. But why? Rosy. You and Mona Kent—I saw. Dick. What?act DAMES AT SEA 39. Rosy. Everything. Drex. Ruby! All that was her idea, not mine, Mona Kent is a big star, a world-famous celebrity, a ame in WHO'S WHO. But that's all. She's not the one I'm gonna marry. She's not the one Tim gonna take home to my folks. She's not my gil, Ruby. You are, Rusy. Oh? SONG: “THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT YoU" Dies, THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT YOU, YOU'RE LIKE THE FIRST BREATH OF SPRING, THERD'S SOMETHING ABOUT YOU, LIKE SONGS THE ANGELS WOULD’ SING, A SKETCH BY EL CRE THE BUBBLES IN VINTAGE CHAMPAGNE, A SWISS MOUNTAIN ECHO, AN ORCHID -IN CELLOPHANE. ‘THERE'S SOMETHING AROUT YOU, THE HEAVENS ROLLED INTO ONE, $0 LIVING WITHOUT YOU JUST WOULDN'T BE FUN. DARLING, DON'T TELL ME I'M DREAMING, WHY NOT JUST SAV YES AND AGREE THAT SOMETHING ABOUT YOU IS SOMETHING FOR ME. (Dick slowly bends to kiss Runy, At the last moment she breaks away and begins to climb the companionway, Halfway up she stops end sings.) Ruy, THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT YoU, THE HEAVENS ROLLED INTO ONE, $0 LIVING WITHOUT YoU JUST WOULDN'T BE FUN— (Borst runs to her; in a movie closeup embrace, they Bore sing.) Born, DARLING, DON'T TELL ME P'M DREAMING, WHY NOT JUST SAV VES AND AGREE ‘THAT SOMETHING ABOUT YOU IS SOMETHING FOR ME!40 DAMES AT SEA act a (hey kiss, Jonss rushes in.) Joaw. Lucky! Lucky! Lucxy, (He enters.) What is it, bby? Jour. Something terrible's happeted, Something awfull Lucky, What? Joan. The liberty boat just sunk. Lucey, It did? Joan. And all the chorus boys were on it! ‘Lucky. So! You got 900 right here! Joss, But can they tap? Lexy, (Earnestly,) On this ship they cant ‘Joa. Oh—thank goodness. Dick. (On steps, peering out to sen.) Hey! Look at the crowds pouring out of the launches. ' (Jonas starts up steps.) Lucie, The bridge is all sold out. Fors. And i's standing room only in the lifeboats, rex. Just look! All Broadway’s out there! Locx. Queen Marie of Rumania —and everybody! ‘Diex, Waiting to hear my songs. (Dhey alt hum “SOMETHING ABOUT YOU.") Rupy, (Looking through spy-glass.) Look, who just arrived in the dinghy! ‘Aus, Who? Roby. Cole Porter, With that fat man. (She hands spy-glass to Jous,) joi (Looking) Tha no fat man, Ruby, that’s Elsa Max- well, “Lucky. Geel T'm gonna get their autographs. (Takes spy-glass, :) ‘Cartan. (He enters.) Hey Paderooskee, Miss Kent wants the new aria. for the ‘Typewriter Ballet, Doubletime, d'yow esr? (Carrann exits.) Drok, (Reaches into his middy.) 1 got it right here— (Sees its gone.) Ob—1 gave it to Ruby— Roe. (Taking the sheet music out of her Bosom.) 1s this what you mean, Dick? (Ske hands it to kim.) Dick. (With rali).) ‘Thank goshi (He examines manuscript, then sings asi} #9 the absent Moxa.) IT ISN'T JANE COWL OR ELEANOR POWELL, yPs You, ITS YOU— Rosy. (Crushed,) But Dick—that's our song.act DAMES AT SEA 41 Dick. Forgive me, Ruby, but I couldn't say no to Mona Kent. (Unseen by Dicx, Mona has entered, She is playing tag with the Carrans, swearing his cap. Ske smiles on Bearing Dice's line; slares on the poy-of.) It's like Fay Wray saying no to King Kong. aah {IH ©7086 of secing Rov.) What, may T as, fs ae ing here’ Dick. Ruby's in the show, Misi Kent. ‘Mona, Not in my show, she isn’t. Oh Kewpie-Doll! I need you! Joax. She's taking Glends’s place. * Mowa. Well see about that. Cartan. (He enters at a ron ond he grabs Moxa.) Gotchal (Mona shrugs him off) Yes, angel? Mowa. T want Little Miss Twinkletoes off this battleship im- mediately! Cavratn, But Consuelo— Moxa. (Handing the Cavtam his cap.) You have your orders, Captain, follow ther! Dick. Have a heart, Miss Keni, this is Ruby's first show. ‘Mowa. And her lastt Joax, (Having had enough of MowA’s theatrics.) You listen to me—Grace Topolovsky! Mona, (Stunned.) What did you say? Joan. You heard’ met If Ruby goes, so do I— (Rupy tries to restrain her.) Mona, That's the best thing P've heard all day, Joan. dnd the chorus girls and the orchestra, ‘Mona. (Hystericcl.) Then go! All of you! Gol Jonw. (Hasily,) T can't wait for your bird number without a band to give you the beat. (This hits Mowa where it counts.) Due, (Indicating Rony.) Give ber a chance, Mis Ken, She's from Centerville, Mora. Well You're very persuasive, Dick, (She afectionately ‘Puts her arm around bis.) (This stuns Rony, Ske urns her back on everyone.) Caran, (Heart-siruh,) Consuelo! . ‘Mowa. She can stay fer the opening number— Lucky. Gee, Ruby, you can stay for the opening number! Mona. But that's ali! Ob Dick, my nerves are in stireds. Would you bum something? Joan. (Asids.) How "bout Lohengrin's Funeral March?a DAMES AT SEA act Mona. Our song! (Hums “IT'S YOU" ond shoots Ruy @ took of triumph.) (Rosy is shattered.) Cartan, (To Mona, grabbing Her arm.) Angel! Don't desert mel Mona. (She angrily flings his hand of.) Putting chains on-me already? Mona Kent belongs to no-one, do you hear? No one! (She grabs Dice and pulls hin of with her) Joan, Hey, Commodore, I got a great idea for the fnsle, Let's send Mona Kent out to sea—on a hexpson, Caprary, Consvelo, Consuelo— Ob, that gypsy heart! But courage, Courageous! ‘A Broadway show on my ship! Won't that make the Admiral green? Joan. Shih! (She sees Rosy tregically stonding ot the side.) (Rupr sings.) REPRISE: “RAIWING IN MY HEART” Rom WHERE'S MY UMBRELLA? AND WHERE'S MY GUY? 1 NEED THAT FELLA TO KEEP ME DRY. 1 WON'T HELP IF THE SUNSHINE SHOULD START CAUSE IT’S RAINING IN MY HEART. (Busy breaks down and runs of, sobbing.) Joan. (To Cartary.) Ya big lug! See what ya done? (Caran exils, wiping his eye furtively,) Psst, Lucky, 1 want you to help me try out a recipe for cooking a goose. Luexy. Whose? Joan. Grace Topolovsky’s, that’s whose, It’s time that peacock lid an egg. Lucky. How? Joan. You got the hang of the spotlight? Lucky. Sure, Nothin’ to it. Why? (Joan whispers in his eor.) Lucky, (Roaring with laughter.) With the spotlight? foun. Get it? veKy, Got itl Joan. Gol (They split.) BLACKOUTact DAMES AT SEA 43 ACT TWO Scevn 2 Bejore Backstage Curtain, Huxxxsey enters Hexwessy. Overture! (Tp Joan.) Into your tu-tu. (To Dick crossing.) Hoist the moon. (To Lucxy.) Man the spotlight, swabbie, (Lucky out.) Okay, places, everybody, places. (Esids) Standby for curtain, Ready, Charlie? (LIGHTS have dimmed fo BLACKOUT ) Curtain (CURTAIN out. Mona posed above scenery mountain.) SONG: “THE ECHO WALTZ" Mona. THERE ONCE WAS A MAIDEN ALL FORLORN, WHO SAT ON A CLIFF BY THE MATTERHORN, DREAMING OF THE BEAU WHO HAD LOVED HER SO AND THE SONG THEY SANG WHEN HE HAD TO GO: (Mona descends. Ruoy and Joan on. Avy tn pretty-pretty Ruritanian tutus.) Gnas. OOH-00H-008, Bovs, (Of.) OOH-OOH-008 Gras, IN THE MOONLIGHT LET'S DANCE TO THE ECHO WALTZ, I LOVE you! Bovs, LOVE your Guns, WHILE WE CROON AND ROMANCE TO THE ECHO WALTZ! ‘Mona, THOUGH CRITICS MAY SAY THAT TO SWAY IS PASSE, THAT, IT’S SYRUPY VIENNESE SCHMALTZ, STILL I'LL BE TRUE, DEAR, TO WALTZING AND ‘YOU, DEAR, ‘THOUGH EACH’ OF YOU MAY HAVE YOUR FAULTS,4a DAMES AT SEA act at TLL BE TRUE Bovs, VLL BE TRUE Gis, WHILE WE SWOON IN A TRANCE TO THE WHIRLING Boxs, WHIRLING Grats. ‘TWIRLING Boys, TWIRLING AL. ECHO WALTZ! (DANCE, Gris with flowered hoops during nest section of lyrics.) Boys. ‘00H-00H-00H! Grrs. 00H-O0H-00H! Bovs, WHILE WERE DANCING TOCETRER THE ECHO WALTZI I LOVE You! Gis. T LOVE your Boys, WHILE WE FLOAT LIKE A FRATHER— ACL. THE ECHO WALTZ! Joan. LIKE LEAVES IN THE BREEZE WE WILL DIP BY THE TREE FEELING LIGHT AS THE CLOUDS IN THE SKY, Runy BUT JUST LIKE THOSE LEAVES AND THOSE TREES AND THE BREEZE, OUR ROMANCE AND OUR WALTZING MUST DIE. Joan, DIE!act DAMES AT SEA 4s (This is her signal to Lucky, The SPOTLIGHT “nods” in reply. When Gines exit after first “TOODLE-O0;" the Spot sways back and forth, making Mona seasick.) Guns. TOODLE-001 Boys, ‘TOODLE-0O! Moxa, I MUST LEAVE YOU FOREVER, AND THE LILTING Bors, LILTING Moxa. WILTING (Ske is turning green now.) Bows, WILTING Mona. ECHO WALTZ! (Moxa clutches her stomach and rushes of.) BLACKOUT ACT TWO Scene 3 Backstage Curtain in, Lucky and Dick cross. Lucxy, Hey, Dick! What's the next number? Dicx, Don't bother me. Vim writing it. Lucey. Great, what is it? Dic. 11's the Champagne Lallaby. The girls are going to be poured through the portholes in real bubbles, Lucey, Wow! Joan. (She rushes on.) Something tercibles happened, Some- thing ail, Te really is this time, Hnwnrsey. (ife enters.) What's wrong with Kent? fat on her back. She cen’t finish the show. But she bas to. She's the ter Hawsesny. What's the matfer with her? Joan. She's seasick. (Punches Lucxy with elbow.) Lucky. The spotlight, Ohl (Laoks e¢ Drex, pretends misery.) Ont ‘Dick, But ske must go on. I thought Mona Kent was a trouper.46 DAMES AT SEA Act ir ‘Joa. She may be a trouper, but she sure ain’t a sailor. ‘Henvesry. Well—breadline, here 1 come, (Rony onters, dressed as she was for her first entrance, Aux but Hexnesuy look at her: the solution.) Rosy, Excuse me, Could you tell me when the next boat leaves for the bis station? Jon. Ruby. Walt, Kent can't go on. (Axx look from Runy to Hensiszv.) Hewnesry. (Getting it.) What? Her? Joan. (Crosses to Hunwassy.) Who else? She's the only one who can do it, Rupy, I'm sorry, but I was told to leave dectly after the— Dick. Ruby, think of me, As a favor. Rony. Not if you were the last man on earth, Dicx. Then don’t think of me. Think of Joan, Hennesey, Lucky, ‘Madame Melba, Uncle Gus. Ruby, think of the show, (This hits Ruwy.) Hewnesey. It’s @ chance in a million—but it just might work, Kid, you gotta bail us out, You're our last hope, Rosy. (Crosses fo Center.) But 1 don't know the music, T ‘haven't heard the numbets, no one has shown me the routines «”. . Flsxnesey, But can you do it? Rupy. Tl ty. BLACKOUT ACT Two Scene 4 LIGHTS come up on Backstage Curtain. Rusy [in wrapper] is tapping, on the verge of collapse, HenxsnY is smoking a cigarette, pacing up and down, Sounds of the SHOW in progress Ofstage. Howwesry. Again, (Rusy tries again and stops.) Again, Rosy. I can't; Tean't, Hennesey, I' know you can’t, (Shakes her shoulders.) You know you can’t, But you will, Ruby. You wil Lvewr, (He enters.) Five minutes, Ruby, (Zo Henwzsey.) Mr.act DAMES AT SEA a Hemnesey! No one can stop the bubble machine. (Hennessy rushes out, Lucky looks at weatch,) Five minutes. (Lucy out.) Dicx. (He enters.) Dating! Rupy. (Without looking ot him.) Ym very busy, Dick. Drex. These are yours. (She doesn't ancwer.)’ They're good fuck telegrams from ‘all over the world, Here's one from Certle Lawrence, Maurice Chevalier. Al Jolson, Rosy. Richard! Drex. Ruby, all T want to say is, if you forget your lines, and ‘miss your cues and fall flat on your face, just remember Til be standing in the wings, waiting to take yow’in my arms, no matter hat happens, no maiter what) Good tuck, daring’ Give “em heck! (He libs her afectionately on jaw, practically dislocating ity exits) ‘Lucky. (Rushing across.) Ruby, they changed the fag to stage right, (Exits) (Joan nters,) Rupy. Ob, Joan, I’m frightened, (They Borst hug.) Jon. Oh, Ruby, i's only natural, Your frst time on a stage with the critics out! there ready to tear you to bits. I'd be scared stift Rony. (Petrfied.) Oh, Joan, T can't go out there, I can't! Joan. (Seising Rusy 63 shoulders.) Listen, Ruby, you'te going ‘out on that poopdeck a chorus girl hut you're coming beck a start Lucwy, (He crosses over with gloves.) Ruby, your gloves! (Hlondstinens to her and ests) Joax, Ruby— (Clinch,) Break a leg! (Joan socks Rusy ene couragingly om arm, Bruising it quite bedly: exits) (Mona, looking deathty i, enters with the Camraxx, whose robe she is wearing. She stands behind Rony for a momont and sadly observes her.) Mona. Ruby— _Rurw. (Turning around.) Miss Kent! What are you doing out of bed? Mowa. (Softly and dramatically.) 1 just wanted to tell you Lucy, (Crossing over again.) Ruby, your hat! (Hands it to hier ond exits; Ruy. (Pulting om hat and gloves.) Captain! Why have you let her out of Sick Bay? Carat, She insisted, the brave soul, she insisted,48 DAMES AT SEA act Mowa. (Despérately.) Ruby, Ruby— Lucxy, (Racing across Stage and of.) Places! Placest Cartas. Now, carling, Reienber what the doctor sid, You're (With a sudden burst of energy Mona gives him a push which sends him staggering back. She faces Ruy.) Mona. Ruby, I want you to be to damn good, I'l hate you for the vest of my life. (She pinches Runy’s cheek kindly, avid paine fully.) Lucky. (Offstage,) YOU'RE ON, RUBY, YOU'RE ON! BLACKOUT ACT TWO. Scene 5 MUSIC intro to number. Backstage CURTAIN out. Show TRAVELLER in, SPOT picks up Runv’s entrance, She is dressed in her Star Tar costume, and is radiantly confident. SONG: “THE TAR STAR” Rupy. IM THE STAR TAR OF THE NAVY, PM THE HIT MISS OF THE SEA, WHEN THE OCEAN'S GETTING WAVY, LEAVE THOSE HANDSOME SAILORS TO ME. TM THE SWELL SWAB ON THE POOP DECK, I'M THE SHIPSHAPE SHIPMATE IN THE HOLD, TM THE TAR STAR, TM THE STAR TAR, OF THE NAVY BLUE AND GOLD! (HEAVE HO!) TM THE TOP GOB IN THE CROW'S NEST, TM THE BIG BELL SAILORS LOVE TO RING, IN THE FOCSLE 1 GET NO REST, IN THE CAPTAIN'S CABIN 'M THE THING, YM THE SWEET SALT OF THE MESSHALL, TM A TRUE BLUE JACKET TO BEHOLD, YM THE STAR TAR, TM THE TAR STAR, OF THE NAVY BLUE AND GOLD!act DAMES AT SEA 49 DANCE WITHOUT VOCAL (Show Curtain out, Ske is joined by Fuux Cast, Aut in sailor out- fits. During dance two Upstage PANELS backed by mirrors revolve and stop at an angle 19 one another that creates multiple images of the onstage Cast.) Cuomus. NAVY BLUE AND GOLD! SHE'S THE STAR TAR OF THE NAVY, SHE'S THE HIT MISS OF THE SEA, WHEN THE OCEAN'S GETTING WAVY, WHAT A PRETTY SAILOR SHE'LL BE! SHE'S THE SWELL SWAB ON THE POOP DECK, SHE'S THE SHIPSHAPE SHIPMATE IN THE HOLD, SHE'S THE STAR TAR, SHE'S THE TAR STAR, OF THE NAVY BLUE AND GOLD! (HEAVE HO! HEAVE HO!) Rosy. YM THE TOP GOB IN THE CROW'S NEST, YM THE BIG BELL SAILORS LOVE TO RING, IN THE FOCSLE 1 GET NO REST, IN THE CAPTAIN'S CABIN 'M THE THING. TM THE SWEET SALT OF THE MESSHALL, TM A TRUE BLUEJACKET TO BEHOLD, (GH, SAY CAN YOU SEE?) NAVY BLUE AND GOLD! Cronus. SHE'S THE STAR TAR, SHE'S THE TAR STAR, OF THE NAVY BLUE AND GOLD, BLUE AND GOLD! BLACKOUT (Show TRAVELLER in. Ruwy, in spot, takes to bows, On sec ‘ond bow, Lucxx én from’ Left, presents her with bouquet. Lucy exits. Ruby peeks through Traveller for final eave to audience, SPOT out, TRAVELLER out, revedling Reverse TRAVELLER. Runy is stil waving Upstage, back t0 us, Deafening APPLAUSE [BX] continues under following. oan enters speechless.)50 DAMES AT SEA act Romy. (With great insecurity.) How was 1, Joan? Jou. (Overhetmed.) Ges, Ruby, yon were... swell Rony. Thanls to Mr. Hennesey. Where is he, Joan? Joan. He joined the navy. (indicating Russ costume.) You adi = Diox. (Rushing on.) Ruby, listen to thet applause! All Broad- way Is at your feet. (Ruwy, stilt hurt, turns away, LCKY rushes in.) Lucy, Ruby! You're the moon! Did you hear the news? The Captain's egreed to rename this tub the USS, Mona! (Cavtaus enters seth « huge Bouquet which he presents to Ruby.) Carrary, Ruby, these are for you, Ropy. Oh, thank you, Captain! Thank you! Cartan, But they're not from me, my’ dear. They're from—a fan! A big fan! Rosy. Who? Captain. The Commander in Chiof. He got your letter. (Mona, fully recovered, saits on, crosses to Cartan.) Rupy. (Concerned.) Miss Kent! Are you al right? Mowa. Never better, my dear. Look how Keyple-Doli revived mel (She flashes an enormous diamond ring.) Ropy, Gee, Miss Kent, congratulations! (Guiltily,) Ob, Diek, TYve been such a foal Dick. Ruby darling! (He embraces her.) Carrarw. (To Moxa.) Constelo, my own, (They embrace.) Mona, Olé, (Moxa ond Captamy exit.) Joan. (Holding up finger.) Well? Lucey, WOO-WOO! (Lucky and Joan exit) Dick. Just think, Ruby, this moming you were on @ bus with nothing but a pair of tap shoes in your guitease and @ prayer in your heart. And now you're not only a big Broadway star, theact DAMES AT SEA st teat of Mashattn, youre the sweetheart of the U.S. Navy. How oes it fee i ‘Rusy. (Simply,) Nice, But I'm still just a simple gitl from Centerville, U.S. Dick, And f'm just a simple guy. Bors, So— SONG: “LET'S HAVE A SIMPLE WEDDING” Rony and Dick. LET'S HAVE A SIMPLE WEDDING, A QUIET WEDDING FOR TWO, NO CROWDS, NO FUSS, NO BOTHER, Jegr MoM AND FATHER WILL Do. rc. DARLING, THE DAY WE MARRY TLL CARRY YOU THROUGH THE DOOR. OF OUR OWN LITTLE SUNSHINE COTTAGE— Rosy. 1 DON'T WANT ANYTHING MORE— Bork, JUST YOU AND A WEDDING FOR TWO! (Rusy ond Dicx exit to opposite Wings. Show CURTAIN out, White BATTLESHIP, with white guns set ond alt white costumes. LUCKY enters, the nervous bridegroom. Joan on in ‘wedding dress, Crosses to Center.) Lucey, APTER OUR QUIET MARRIAGE, ‘A BABY CARRIAGE WILL ROLL INTO VIEW— Joax. BUT FIRST, DEAR, LET'S HAVE A WEDDING, Born. A QUIET WEDDING FOR TWO! (Mons enters in wedding dress, Carzams following.) Mona, YL SAY “I DO” AND TLL BE TRUE ALL THROUGH OUR WEDDING DAY, Caprany, AND YOURS P'LL BE ETERNALLY WHEN MUMMY GIVES ME AWAY! (Rony enters Up Center in swedding dress. Dic on Right. GUN SALUTE [EX]. SMOKE-FLASHES explode.)2 DAMES AT SEA acr Au. LET'S HAVE A SIMPLE WEDDING, A QUIET WEDDING FOR TWO JUST MB, MISTER PREACHER AND YOU! (Full color RAINBOW cppears Up Center on final bars of number.) corrainPROPERTY PLOT ‘Ruby—wrist watch Plano—fake black upright ‘Chair—black straight-back Taker painted (not one of tree non prop ladder used fa “Darnes' Boxes (3)—in graduated sizes, wrapped in bright solid-color paper, tied with black cord for end of Act One. Suitease—medium size, giving impression of cheap cardboard; covered in light green metallic wrapping paper ‘Tap shoes—one pair, in suitease; not won by Ruby Buckets (2)—covered silver foil ‘Mops (2)—white Umbrellas (5)—clear plastic, with silverlitter polka dots Bouquets (5)—realistic artificial (3 white wedding bouquets, with white satin streamers: lilies (Ruby) orchids. (Mona) roses (Joan); 1 large bouquet of pink roses, 1 small of red roses Hoops (3)—wicker painted with flatfinish white, twined with ‘garlands of pink snapdragons ‘Telescope—white and silver (small) Glass—plastic; illusion of bicarb ‘Diamond? ring—oversized Fan—Oriental, attached to hook on Joan's ‘Sin-Sin’ costume Paper bag—medium-sized, stuffed for weight and body ‘Telegrams (S)—Western Union Baby Ruth—regular size only Pencils (2)—1 for Ruby (Act One), 1 for Dick (Act Two) Music sheets (3)—2, folded in half, for Dick; 1, in eighths, for Ruby Black vinyl chips—to fill snowbag (dropped at end of Act One) ‘Lucky's ‘ress’—large cluster of material used in ‘Echo? costumes Buddha-god arms—Iong, glittery-purple gloves Luuckies—green-pack cover made with material used for ‘Wall Street’ bows; Hennesey uses approximately 2 cigarettes per performance Gur—Joan uses approximately 2 sticks per performance sSH PROPERTY PLOT ‘Blister Mon? props: gel be Raj t and cont Teilcoat, bowtie and gloves Walking’ stick ‘Top hat—Mona's ‘Wall St’ hat with bow removed Revolver, Flower ‘Money—at least ten pieces, Party hat Lucey: Round tray with 3 plastic champagne glasses Small tray with tara and necklace of ‘pears? Perfume atomizer Joa Derby Patty blower Unturled serpentines—no more than ten, should not be bunched (Uses bouquet of pink reses also used in Act Two) Ropy: Party hat Party horn Strawhat Gift box with bow Pao Mat ‘Throws serpentine ‘Dresses Hennesey in ragged clothes ‘Mona: ‘Bosom scarfCOSTUME PLOT MONA—Wall Street Costume: ‘One-piece tinsel cloth tap costume, satin lapels, decorated with satin "dollar bills,” top bat, long gloves, rhinestone buttons and bracelets, tap shoes with bows, JOAN—Reheorsal Clothes: One-piece play suit tap costume with separate matching wrap- around skirt with godets, hait bows, tap shoes with bows. RUBY—-Rehearsal Clothes: One piece play suit tap costume with seperate matching wrap around skirt with godets, plastic bow hair barrette, 30's type shoes. RUBY—Rein Coat Pele pleid taffeta trench coat with contrasting saddle stitching decoration, liat to match rehearsal costume, belt has fabric- covered buckle, HENNESEY—Rehearsal Clothes: White trousers, very wide with pleats and cuffs, silk shlet in very bold plaid pattern, sleeveless Veneck pullover sweater, loud wide 4-inch hand tie, white shoes. DICK—Saitor Suit: Standard sailor whites with extra wide bells and legs, navy blue satin neck scarf, black shoes, black socks, white T-shist, white seitor hat, LUCKY—Seitor Suit: Same as Dick. ‘MONA: Dark purple satin crepe eulotte costume, evening cape of tinsel organza and feathers trim, bolero type top to match culoties and sash, pumps. WONG—(Henwssev) Mandarin Costume: Fullsleeved tunic coat, full trousers, hat and mask, sequin decorated, SUE—(Joan) Dancing Girl: Bikini pants with panels end decoration, decor rations of draped chains and fabric lowers, hheadress, ballet slippers. 5556 COSTUME PLOT Suy-Sts—(Mona) Female Mandarin Costume: Pleated skirt, long-sleeved tunic with pagoda collar, headress and mask, sequin decorations. JOAN. Satin bias-cut street dress MONA—Act Two Dress: Satin bias-cut street dress, with underakirt of Spanish flounces, CAPTAIN COURAGEOUS—(Heezsey): Officer whites with correct epaulets and hat, ribbon decorations, DAMES AT SEA COSTUME—(Mona): ‘One-piece sparkle cloth sallorette costume, satin scarf and hat. DAMES AT SEA (Ruby): Same es Mona, DAMES AT SEA (Joax): Same a3 Mona. FINALE—Sailor Costume: A, Hennesry, Mons, Joan, Lucky, Dick, White sailor top with gold epaulets, rhinestone decorations, blue setin scarf, sparkle hat with flag, patent tap shoes, B, Accessories for Lucxy and Dick Scarf and snap-on epaulets, hat and tap shoes, RUBY—Sweetheort of the Novy Costume: One-piece tap costume, epaulets, medals, gloves, bat, tap choes with bows. ECHO WALTZ GIRL—(Mowa) Satin bodice with ribbons for trim, fancy apron, tulle ballet skirt, flower and ribbon headress, ECHO WALTZ GIRL—(Rusy): Same as Mons, ECHO WALTZ GIRL—(Joan): Same as Mona, JOAN—Backsiage: ‘30's wrapper. JOAN—White Wedding Gown: ‘Bias-cut crepe gown, satin trim and sash, satin hat and veil (2 layers), bouquet of white roses. MONA—White Wedding Gown: Bias-cut crepe gown, extreme sleeves, giant sparkle comb and veil (2 layers), bouquet of white orchids, coe ae eens 1 ? i - {COSTUME PLOT 7 RUBY—White Wedding Gown: Bias-cut taffeta gown ih organza sleeves and ruffed ‘ap and veil, rufied edging (2 layers), white lily bouquet. RUBY—Act Two Dress: Bias-cut street dress, RUBY—Bockstage: 30's wrapper, Mowa—Act Two: ‘Man’s silk dressing gown, white sparkle yachting cap,|RICK WALL BACKING Lack stack vevour vevour aor ts “DAMES AT SEA“ ORTHOLES PORTHOLES 3008 |SArTLeshiPsAckins/ Doom | 6 6 3 aot a “DAMES AT SEA"OPTIONAL SONG Mona. Well, what is it? (MUSIC BEGINS. Aux sit, kneel, etc. except Mona and Hen- NESEY.) Henwesey. You know the work I've put into this show? The ays and nights of rehearsing a routine over and over until we dropped—and then throwing it out again. And why? (MUSIC STOPS.) Because it was lousy. That's why. (MUSIC STARTS AGAIN.) So far “Dames At Sea” has cost me my bank balance, my health, and now my wifel She said, “Choose, Harry, it's cither it or met” (MUSIC STOPS.) Now what choice does any real trouper have? (MUSIC UP. Speaking ad lib.) Lady Luck was once my baby, Never fet me down. (Sings.) SHE WAS ROSE AND I WAS ABIE, WE WERE THE TALK OF THE TOWN. TOGETHER WE MADE THE BIG-TIME, ZOOMING RIGHT UP TO THE TOP, BUT FATE IS FICKLE, FOR THEN IN JIGTIME, BOOM CAME THE DROP, FLOP AFTER FLOP! (Aut sing “Doo-Wah's” under.) 1 SWORE THAT “DAMES” WAS GONNA SHAKE UP BROADWAY, TEACH THOSE TINHORNS HOW; BUT LADY LUCK’S A TWO-FACED BROAD CALLED BROADWAY, SHE'S TEARING MY GUTS OUT NOW! (LOUD NOISE.) (Speaks.) You hear that? Some call it progress—but it’s really Harry Hennesey's Swan Song. (NOISE.) It’s the W.P.A.., kids, they're tearing down the theatre. (MUSIC OUT.) (More Ad Libs: ht no! You'don't mean itt”) (CONTINUE AS PRINTED.) 3960 OPTIONAL SONG Upon request, photocopied vocal sheets forthe “Broadway Baby Reprise” are available from Samuel French to compensate for its “absence from the vocal chorus book. In the event that the song is not used, the score includes an optional violin solo to be played under Hennesey's monologue.