How To Ignore People

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According to the research by social psychologist

Dr. David McClelland of Harvard, the people

you habitually associate with determines as

much as 95 percent of your success or failure

in life.

It’s a fact of life that some people hold

us back, while other propel us forward.

Which is why in this video we will be talking

about 6 types of negative people we need to

ignore and more importantly how should we

ignore them.

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The truth is you can’t hang out with negative

people and expect to have a positive life.

More importantly, if you do all the right

things, but if you get around people who hold

you to a lower standard, then you are more

likely to fail.

So who are these 6 types of negative people

and how do we ignore them?

1.

The hopelessly hostile drama queen

We all have friends who are drama queens,

who are very charismatic, colorful, and compelling,

and sweep us up into their personal melodramas.

They need you to help solve some urgent problem.

So you do.

And then there’s another problem and another

until you realize that for these people, problems

are a way of life.

They want an audience.

They crave attention, using urgent problems

to control you.
By responding to their demands, your life

becomes hijacked by their daily dramas.

They may seem weak and helpless but these

people are master manipulators.

They follow a specific pattern.

They often use flattery by convincing you

that you are the only one they could count

on to solve their problems.

They ambush you by appealing to your sympathy,

your ego, your desire to be a good person.

But if for some reason you cannot satisfy

their demands, or the moment you are not available,

thay will call you selfish and find someone

else.

Drama queens violate the primary rule of good

relationships which is a balance of give and

take, nourished by mutual listening, empathy,

interest, and respect.

Drama queens crave admiration and attention,

but can’t or won’t give it back.

Psychiatrists say that drama queen behavior

is wired into the brain, due to a varying

combo of genetics, trauma, or other environmental

factors.

There is nothing much we could do to change

them but we could change our behaivour and

keep ourselevs from being drained by a person

who asks a lot without contributing back by

following these steps -

1.

Set boundaries.

Set boundaries around them and do not let

them over step them.

For example, if the person treats you as their

personal 911 hotline, no matter the hour,

lay out a strict schedule of your availability.

2.

Avoid asking a drama queen how they're feeling.

Drama queens are dramatic by nature and need

an audience for this.

Asking someone you know is a drama queen how

they're doing usually leads to trouble.

This can invite a drama queen to vent or complain,

so try to minimize interactions that encourage

sharing.

3.

Don't reward their drama.

The drama queen is seeking attention, and

will likely drag anyone who bites into a spiral

of drama.

Instead of responding, focus on your own work.

If necessary, say something like, "Sorry you're

feeling bad, but I've got work to do."

4.

Replenish yourself.

To recharge after an encounter with a drama

queen, go for a walk or meditate or put on

your headphones and blast your favorite tunes.

Don’t dwell on the drama because it will

only keep you in the negative zone.

5.

When all else fails, distance yourself.

When everything fails and you’re still at

the end of your rope, you might have to cut

ties.

Tell them that you need time alone to focus

on you right now.

You’ll have to fight off guilt — especially

if it’s a close relationship — but ultimately,

if things are going to change, we can only

change ourselves.

The second type of person we need to ignore

the person you have failed to please a hundred

times before.

We all have been in a situation with someone

who is intimidating and demanding, and we

nervously try to keep the peace by going along

with anything they wanted, trying to keep

them happy, and no matter what we do, it is

just not enough.

You may think that pleasing them will make

them happy and comfortable and make you likable

and easygoing.

You may think you are the nicest person if

you never say a "no"but it is an extremely

unhealthy pattern of behavior.

It will make you feel lost, confused, and

pretty unlikable.

When you go through life as a pleaser, you

aren’t living on your own terms.

You think you’re being nice, agreeable,

and drama-free, but keeping your true self

beneath the surface doesn’t do anyone any

favors.

It just results in you being surrounded by

rude, selfish, and unforgiving people who,

instead of appreciating that you’ve put

their needs first, treat you like a doormat.

You need to ignore the person you have failed

to please a hundred times before because they

are simply never going to appreciate or even

going to notice your efforts but will always

find an opportunity to to criticize you when

you cannot fulfill their slightest of demands.

You need to stop pleasing that person.

You can deal with them by changing your attitude

towards them by -

1.

Dealing with your feelings

Ask yourself why do you want to please someone.

Is it because of you want them to be happy

or is it because deep down inside you are

afraid and insecure.

People might please others because they want

to avoid internal bad feelings such as: Fear

of rejection, Fear of disappointing others,

Fear of criticisms, Loneliness and Guilt.

2.

Assess your priorities

Whenever that person you have been pleasing

asks you for anything, you automatically jump

in and say “Yes” before thinking if you

really want to do that thing.

You may feel obligated to say yes, because

that response becomes the right thing to do,

but for all the wrong reasons.

Next time a situation arises, consciously

stop to think about it before you commit to

doing it.

Thinking consciously takes work and practice.

3.

Speak up for what you want

There's nothing wrong with voicing your opinion,

and it doesn't have to mean you're making

a demand.
Simply reminding people that you're an individual

with your own preferences is a big step forward.

If you tend to please people by going along

with other people want instead of voicing

your likes or dislikes, speak out.

4.

Learn how to say no

Learn how to say "no."

If you tend to always say “yes” to things

even when you don’t want to or when situations

cause you stress, start saying “no.”

It might take some practice, but let people

know when you can’t do what they want.

There’s no need to make excuses or talk

your way out of it.

A simple “no” or “no thank you” will

do

The third type of person you need to ignore

is the naysayer who always dumps on your dreams.

Mahatma Gandhi once said “First they ignore

you.

Then they laugh at you.

Then they fight you.

Then you win.”

Are there any naysayers in your life?

Someone who is perhaps discouraging you from

pursuing your goals and dreams?

Someone who thinks that you are joking and

says “It’s impossible!” when you share

your grand plans for your future?

Someone who sabotages you when you try to

cultivate a new habit or quit a bad habit?

Someone who is keeping you from achieving

your highest potential?

If yes then you need to ignore them because

If you give in and let their negativity convince

you of who you are, their madness will wither

you away.
You will morph into who they say you are,

rather than living honestly as yourself.

In this way, these people will steal your

life from you.

You will lose track of where their opinion

ends and your reality begins.

So here are ways you can deal with a naysayer.

1.

Redirect Them

Some naysayers offer unsolicited opinions

about your activities, which can be incredibly

annoying and distracting.

In this case, politely point out that you

are not looking for their input and suggest

they spend their time focused on improving

their own situation.

2.

Give Them Credence

Tell them you will take their thoughts under

consideration and report back to them on your

experience.

You could argue with them, but why waste energy

you could apply in productive ways?

3.

Answer Their Objections

Naysayers who spout negativity with no basis

are the most annoying of all.

If they are speaking beyond their own knowledge,

they deserve to be challenged.

So do your homework.

Make a point of showing them facts and not

opinions that strongly support your approach.

4.

Eliminate Them

If these people are constantly bringing you

down, by all means stop hanging out with them.

Find a new job if you must, or quit going

to family gatherings.

No one should have to suffer through the misery

of other people inflicting negativity for

its own sake.

The fourth type of person you need to ignore

is the manipulator.

We all know people who will say and do anything,

thoughtlessly, to get others to do what they

want them to do.

These people routinely prioritize their own

feelings and needs over and above everyone

else’s.

They will demand that you bend over to help

them, but if, heaven forbid, you need help,

they will not be able to stand it.

Beware of these manipulators who try to use

their negativity to intimidate and manipulate

your thoughts.

The manipulator deliberately creates an imbalance

of power, and exploits the victim to serve

his or her agenda.

Do not accept this behavior as normal and

instead follow these steps.

1.

Avoid Self-Blame

Since the manipulator’s agenda is to look

for and exploit your weaknesses, it is understandable

that you may feel inadequate, or even blame

yourself for not satisfying the manipulator.

In these situations, it’s important to remember

that you are not the problem; you’re simply

being manipulated to feel bad about yourself.

2.

Put the Focus on Them by Asking Probing Questions

Manipulators will make requests or demands

of you.

These demands often make you go out of your

way to meet their needs.

When you hear an unreasonable solicitation,

it’s sometimes useful to put the focus back

on the manipulator by asking a few probing

questions like “Does this seem reasonable

to you?” or “Does what you want from me

sound fair?” to see if she or he has enough

self-awareness to recognize the inequity of

their scheme.

3.

Use Time to Your Advantage

In addition to unreasonable requests, the

manipulator will often also expect an answer

from you right away.

During these moments, instead of responding

to the manipulator’s request right away,

consider leveraging time to your advantage

by saying “I’ll think about it.”

Take the time you need to evaluate the pros

and cons of a situation, and consider whether

you want to negotiate a more equitable arrangement,

or if you’re better off by saying “no,”

4.
Keep Your Distance

One way to detect a manipulator is to see

if a person acts with different faces in front

of different people and in different situations.

manipulators tend to habitually dwell in extremes,

being highly polite to one individual and

completely rude to another—or totally helpless

one moment and fiercely aggressive the next.It

is not your job to change or save them.

So if you cannot deal with them, keep your

distance from them.

The fifth type of person we need to ignore

is the stubborn one who insists you should

be someone else.

Unfortunately, families and old friends often

fail to recognize how you’ve changed and

grown over the years.

They also tend to label you in an unfair way

based on who you used to be; and it’s easy

to end up conforming to these labels because

you remember when they were true.

In the long run, it’s always better to be

disrespected for who you are than respected

for who you are not.

In fact, the only relationships that work

well are the ones that make you a better person

without changing you into someone other than

yourself, and without preventing you from

outgrowing the person you used to be.

The only way you can ignore such stubborn

one is by ignoring their opinions.

When you ignore their opinions and decide

to be who you are, instead of who they want

you to be, you open yourself up to real love,

real happiness, and real success.

There is no need to pretend to be someone

you’re not.

You don’t have control over what others

think about you, but you do have control over

how you decide to internalize their opinions.

Leave them to their own judgments.

Don’t feel threatened and don’t conform

just to please them.

Let people love you for who you are, and not

for who they want you to be.

Or let them walk away if they choose.

The sixth type of person we need to ignore

is The unforgiving friend who refuses to forgive

you for your mistakes.

We all have someone who continuously judges

us by your past, holds it against us, and

refuses to forgive us.

If someone refuses to support you as you grow

beyond your past mistakes, they are now the

one that’s making a mistake.

Holding on to the unchangeable past is a waste

of energy and serves no purpose in creating

a better day today.

Mistakes are part a of growing.

If someone continuously judges you by your

past, holds it against you, and refuses to

forgive you, you might have to repair your

present and future by leaving them behind

and make sure you

1.

Forgive yourself

Think about the last time somebody sincerely

apologized to you.

Did you forgive them?

Chances are, you did!

Now think about last time you hurt someone

else.

Have you forgiven yourself?

Probably not.

The reality is: Forgiving yourself is much

harder than forgiving someone else because

you’re stuck with that negative little voice

in your head…all the time!

2.

Try Self Love

You’ve probably been pretty hard on yourself,

but it’s time to move away from the past

and start moving towards self-love.

You are more than your past mistakes.

3.

Learn From your mistakes and improve yourself

An important part of forgiving yourself is

understanding where you went wrong with the

person you’ve hurt or offended.

Understand what you did wrong, acknowledge

it, and work on it so that it never happens

again.

Ignoring negative people doesn’t mean you

hate them, or that you wish them harm; it

just means you care about your own well-being.

Because every time you subtract negative from

your life, you make room for more positive.

Click on the card above to see what type of

people you need to spend time with if you

want to achieve success.

Comment below the type of person you want

to ignore and how do you want to do that.

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