PART 6
You are going to read an extract from an autobiography. Seven paragraphs have been
removed from the extract. Choose from the paragraphs A~H the one which fits each gap
(G7--43). There is one extra paragraph which you do not need to use. Mark your answers on
the separate answer sheet.
Filbeck the features editor
| quickly got the hang of working at the Mirror. Every
morning at eleven we would be expected to cram
into Eilbeck’s litte office for a features conference,
when we either had to come up with ideas of our
‘own or suffer ideas to be thrust upon us. Some of
Eilbeck’s own offerings were bizarre to say the least,
but he did get results. lhad got an inkling of his
Creative thinking during my initial interview when
he had invited me to match his scrawle
headline with a feature.
a
‘Some of these brainstorms came off the day's
news, some off the wall. About half the ideas
worked, a few of them spectacularly. Following a
spate of shootings, Eilbeck scrawled ‘THIS GUN FOR
SALE’ on his pad, together with a rough sketch of
a revolver. Within hours a writer was back in the
office with a handgun and a dramatic piece on the
ease with which (he did not mention the little help
he had had from the crime staff) he had bought it
in Trafalgar Square
a
‘Mercifully, none of Eilbeck’s extemporised headlines
winged their way to me — at least not yet. The
pitifully small paper was grossly overstaffed, with
half a dozen highly experienced feature writers
fighting to fill one page a day, and it was evident
that my role was as standby or first reserve. Hanging
around the office, where the time was passed
pleasantly in chit-chat, smoking and drinking coffee,
| was occasionally tossed some small task
———— rT
Another of my little chores was to compose ‘come-
ons’ for the readers’ letters columns invented,
controversial letters that, in a slow week for
correspondence, would draw a furious mailbag
| was also put to work rewriting agency and
syndication material that came into the office,
including, on occasion, the Sagittarius segment of
the astrology column.
Some years later, when he had directed his talents
to another paper, | confessed to him one day that!
had been guilty of tampering in this way. He was in
‘no way put out. It was serenely obvious to him that |
had been planted on the Mirror by destiny to adjust
the hitherto inaccurate information.
yz,
For example, one afternoon I was summoned to
Eilbeck’ office to find him in a state of manic
excitement, bent over a make-up pad on which.
he had scrawled "THE SPICE OF LIFE" surrounded
by a border of stars. This, | was told, was to be the
Mirror's new three-times-a-week gossip column,
starting tomorrow - and | was to be in charge of it.
patereeroerernenttir —
Happily the delightful Eve Chapman was deputed to
hold my hand in this insane exercise. The bad news
‘was that Eve, who went home nightly to her parents
in Croydon, had never set foot in such a place in her
life, We were reduced to raiding the society pages of
the glossy magazines and ploughing through Who's
Who in hopes of finding some important personage
with an unusual hobby which could be fleshed out to
the maximum twenty-five words.
|
The Spice of Life column itself ground to a hat after
our supply of eminent people’s interesting pastimes
petered out,
a —
14 CAMBRIDGE ENGLISH: PROFICIENCY PRACTICE TESTS READING & USE OF ENGLISHA Asa result, he wanted no item to be more
‘than twenty-five words long, followed by
three dots. He was, atthe time, heavily
Under the influence of Walter Winchell, Earl
Wilson and suchlike night-ow columnists
in the New York tabloids that were air-
freighted to him weekly.
B Flattering though it was to be entrusted
with this commission, there was a snag. It
had to ‘sizzle’ ~ a favourite Eilbeck word —
with exclusive snippets about ‘the people
Who really mattered’ to Eilbeck’s mind,
anyone with an aristocratic title, or money
to throw about in casinos and nightclubs.
Unfortunately, | did not have a single
suitable contact in the whole of London
This might be a review copy of some
hosted showbiz memoirs that might be
‘good for a 150-word anecdotal filer. One
day Eilbeck dropped a re-issued volume
‘on my desk - To Beg | om Ashamed, the
supposed autobiography of a criminal. It
came complete with one of his headlines:
“TTS STILL A BAD, DANGEROUS BOOK’.
asked him what was so bad and dangerous
about it.I haven't read it’ the Features
Editor confessed cheerfully. Two hundred
words by four otlock’
D On one desperate occasion, with the
deadline looming yet again, we fell to
working our way along Mlionaires' Row
in Kensington, questioning maids and
chauffeurs about the foibles oftheir rich
employers. This enterprise came to a stop
after someone called the police.
‘CAMBRIDGE ENGLISH: PROFICIENCY PRACTICE TESTS READING & USE OF ENGLISH 15
E This proved to be a foretaste of his
favourite method of floating an idea. While
the assembled feature writers clustered
around his desk skimming the newspapers
{and intermittently quoting some story
that might with luck yield a feature angle,
Eilbeck would be scribbling away on his
pad. Cockily trumpeting his newly minted
headline ~ WOULD YOU RISK A BLIND DATE
HOLIDAY?’ or ‘CAN WOMEN BE TRUSTED
WITH MONEY?’ — he would rip off the page
and thrust into the arms of the nearest
writer ~ ‘Copy by four ovlock.’
F This was for the benefit of one of the
paper's more irascible executives who was a
passionate believer init, it had been noticed
that when he was told he would have a
bad day he would react accordingly and
his miserable colleagues would go through
the day quaking in their shoes. My job was
to doctor the entry to give his colleagues a
more peaceful ride.
G My month’ trial with the Mirror quickly
expired without my having done anything to
Justify my existence on the paper, but since
Eilbeck didn't mention that my time was up.
neither did |. | pottered on, still trying to find
my feet. Occasionally opportunity would
knock, but it was usually a false alarm. Not
always, though.
H_ But many of Eilbeck’s madder flights of
fancy had no chance of panning out so well
— even | could tell that. Seasoned writers
would accept the assignment without
demur, repair to a café for a couple of
hours, and then ring in to announce that
they couldn't make the idea stand up.