PART 6 You are going to read an extract from an autobiography. Seven paragraphs have been removed from the extract. Choose from the paragraphs A~H the one which fits each gap (G7--43). There is one extra paragraph which you do not need to use. Mark your answers on the separate answer sheet. Filbeck the features editor | quickly got the hang of working at the Mirror. Every morning at eleven we would be expected to cram into Eilbeck’s litte office for a features conference, when we either had to come up with ideas of our ‘own or suffer ideas to be thrust upon us. Some of Eilbeck’s own offerings were bizarre to say the least, but he did get results. lhad got an inkling of his Creative thinking during my initial interview when he had invited me to match his scrawle headline with a feature. a ‘Some of these brainstorms came off the day's news, some off the wall. About half the ideas worked, a few of them spectacularly. Following a spate of shootings, Eilbeck scrawled ‘THIS GUN FOR SALE’ on his pad, together with a rough sketch of a revolver. Within hours a writer was back in the office with a handgun and a dramatic piece on the ease with which (he did not mention the little help he had had from the crime staff) he had bought it in Trafalgar Square a ‘Mercifully, none of Eilbeck’s extemporised headlines winged their way to me — at least not yet. The pitifully small paper was grossly overstaffed, with half a dozen highly experienced feature writers fighting to fill one page a day, and it was evident that my role was as standby or first reserve. Hanging around the office, where the time was passed pleasantly in chit-chat, smoking and drinking coffee, | was occasionally tossed some small task ———— rT Another of my little chores was to compose ‘come- ons’ for the readers’ letters columns invented, controversial letters that, in a slow week for correspondence, would draw a furious mailbag | was also put to work rewriting agency and syndication material that came into the office, including, on occasion, the Sagittarius segment of the astrology column. Some years later, when he had directed his talents to another paper, | confessed to him one day that! had been guilty of tampering in this way. He was in ‘no way put out. It was serenely obvious to him that | had been planted on the Mirror by destiny to adjust the hitherto inaccurate information. yz, For example, one afternoon I was summoned to Eilbeck’ office to find him in a state of manic excitement, bent over a make-up pad on which. he had scrawled "THE SPICE OF LIFE" surrounded by a border of stars. This, | was told, was to be the Mirror's new three-times-a-week gossip column, starting tomorrow - and | was to be in charge of it. patereeroerernenttir — Happily the delightful Eve Chapman was deputed to hold my hand in this insane exercise. The bad news ‘was that Eve, who went home nightly to her parents in Croydon, had never set foot in such a place in her life, We were reduced to raiding the society pages of the glossy magazines and ploughing through Who's Who in hopes of finding some important personage with an unusual hobby which could be fleshed out to the maximum twenty-five words. | The Spice of Life column itself ground to a hat after our supply of eminent people’s interesting pastimes petered out, a — 14 CAMBRIDGE ENGLISH: PROFICIENCY PRACTICE TESTS READING & USE OF ENGLISHA Asa result, he wanted no item to be more ‘than twenty-five words long, followed by three dots. He was, atthe time, heavily Under the influence of Walter Winchell, Earl Wilson and suchlike night-ow columnists in the New York tabloids that were air- freighted to him weekly. B Flattering though it was to be entrusted with this commission, there was a snag. It had to ‘sizzle’ ~ a favourite Eilbeck word — with exclusive snippets about ‘the people Who really mattered’ to Eilbeck’s mind, anyone with an aristocratic title, or money to throw about in casinos and nightclubs. Unfortunately, | did not have a single suitable contact in the whole of London This might be a review copy of some hosted showbiz memoirs that might be ‘good for a 150-word anecdotal filer. One day Eilbeck dropped a re-issued volume ‘on my desk - To Beg | om Ashamed, the supposed autobiography of a criminal. It came complete with one of his headlines: “TTS STILL A BAD, DANGEROUS BOOK’. asked him what was so bad and dangerous about it.I haven't read it’ the Features Editor confessed cheerfully. Two hundred words by four otlock’ D On one desperate occasion, with the deadline looming yet again, we fell to working our way along Mlionaires' Row in Kensington, questioning maids and chauffeurs about the foibles oftheir rich employers. This enterprise came to a stop after someone called the police. ‘CAMBRIDGE ENGLISH: PROFICIENCY PRACTICE TESTS READING & USE OF ENGLISH 15 E This proved to be a foretaste of his favourite method of floating an idea. While the assembled feature writers clustered around his desk skimming the newspapers {and intermittently quoting some story that might with luck yield a feature angle, Eilbeck would be scribbling away on his pad. Cockily trumpeting his newly minted headline ~ WOULD YOU RISK A BLIND DATE HOLIDAY?’ or ‘CAN WOMEN BE TRUSTED WITH MONEY?’ — he would rip off the page and thrust into the arms of the nearest writer ~ ‘Copy by four ovlock.’ F This was for the benefit of one of the paper's more irascible executives who was a passionate believer init, it had been noticed that when he was told he would have a bad day he would react accordingly and his miserable colleagues would go through the day quaking in their shoes. My job was to doctor the entry to give his colleagues a more peaceful ride. G My month’ trial with the Mirror quickly expired without my having done anything to Justify my existence on the paper, but since Eilbeck didn't mention that my time was up. neither did |. | pottered on, still trying to find my feet. Occasionally opportunity would knock, but it was usually a false alarm. Not always, though. H_ But many of Eilbeck’s madder flights of fancy had no chance of panning out so well — even | could tell that. Seasoned writers would accept the assignment without demur, repair to a café for a couple of hours, and then ring in to announce that they couldn't make the idea stand up.