Fierce Conversations Notes

We come out from behind ourselves and into the conversation.

1 Interrogate reality
2 Provoke learning
3 Tackle our toughest challenges
4 Enrich relationships

1Gradually then suddenly one conversation at a time

2The conversation = relationship

Emotional capital. A connection is vital engaging on emotions Quality of
relationships.

3Misunderstandings (all conversations are determined by ourself a and

then operate under that assumption)

Not all transformation is instant. Transform yourself a in and out of a

conversation.

“Terminal niceness”

Conversations are the work of the leaders and the work horses of the
company”

A careful conversation is often not an honest conversation.

Talk with people, not too people.

Chap 1
Principal 1 Master the courage to interrogate the reality
“You can not argue with reality”

Once a year strategic plans do not exist anymore.

Masterful administration of the unseen !!

(The case for radical transparency)

Beachball approach - All colors are important but by themselves can’t

succeed.
“What matters anywhere in a company matters everywhere in a
company” !!!

(Power sources, silos, feedback loops all tie into this concept)

We don’t know what people are thinking, if we don’t ask.

Level and be honest with people. The truth seems inevitable and we can’t
ignore it. !!!

What are the leaders pretending not to know.

What am I pretending not to know.
-Are my truths in the way?-

When reality changes the truth doesn’t.

Are my beliefs working for my life?
Are my truths working for my family and career?

Your context influences your behavior, and your behavior produces

results. HELLO!!!
If you recognize that a belief you hold isn’t working all that well now would
be a good time to shift your belief to something that would produce better
results.

We have an obligation to change our beliefs

If your goal is evolution work on changing your behavior If your goal is

revolution work on changing your context!

No one owns the entire truth. Each person has a piece of that truth.

Get everyone’s truth out on the table to be interrogated. This takes some
time. But it takes longer dancing around their truths/realities.
Interrogating reality
1 prepare for the meeting by identifying the issue (a problem named is a
problem solved)
2 who should be part of the conversation (error on the side of inclusion as
opposed to exclusion, invite them to share their perspective and have the
reading done ahead of time)
3 facilitating the conversation by inviting input from every person in the
room (close laptops cell phones no pens or note taking) everyone in the
room talks. No exceptions. Inviting you to influence me
4. Wrapping up the conversation. Thank them and follow up once
decision has been made

“Real thinking occurs only when everyone is engaged in exploring

differing viewpoints.”

Remove “yes but” from your vocabulary and transition it to “yes and”
DO NOT LAY BLAME while describing the reality. (Roger is good at this)

You get what you tolerate

Go in with empty hands and deal with what you find.

All head, no heart. You must ask about emotional responses

Taking action is key

What is ground truth at HC?

“Before we can learn, we must unlearn”

“While no one has to change, everyone has to have the conversation.” !!!

“I am successful to the degree that who I am and what I love are in

alignment. I am doing the right work with the right people for the right
reasons”

Chapter 2- SHOW UP!

-be real and invite people to be real-

You are required to be responsive to your world. And that response

involves change.

You may run into a house to save a child. But you won’t bring up the real
truth in your own work environment? Speak your ground truth courage
fails us

Radical transparency is your ground truth and everyone speaking the

ground truth.

Tell the truth

Lay out the plan
Invite feedback.

Relationships deteriorate because of a lack of willingness to have the

exact conversations they try to avoid.

Healthy selfishness.

Is becoming authentic a form of selfishness?

When we free our true selfs others will respond

Build a bridge between yourself as a person and yourself as a

professional.

My one word is positive

The truth may set you free, but will also piss you off!!

We often don’t pay attention to what people are really asking or saying.

Abandon on the safety of confusion for the juice of clarity

What is my stump speech?

Take a stand for the ideal you desire. All conversations are with myself and
sometimes involve other people.
I see you as I am, through my context.

The issues in my life are rarely about you, rather about me.

Where am I going. BEFORE who is going with me.

Take it personally take yourself seriously.

Leading is intensely personal

Who am I and what price am I willing to pay to get that

Chapter 3 Be here and be prepared to be no where else

When our conversations with others disregard the core need of being
understood our lives can seem like an ongoing exhausting struggle to
influence others to do what we want them to do. (NOTHING CHANGES,
autopilot is engaged)

Be with someone even if only for a brief moment prepared to be nowhere

else.