Counselling, Spiritual Accompanying &

Pastoral Care
Andrew De Stnet

Abstract
Counselling and spiritual direction and pastoral care contain
considerable overlap but have differing starting points and
focuses, and differing contracts. The relationship between
counselling and spiritual direction is examined and placed in
the context of pastoral care. Certain psychological processes
such as projection and transference play a part in all three.
Projection can be a powerful means of exploring spiritual and
emotional issues.

Key words: Spiritual direction, counselling, pastoral care, person-

centred approach, Ignatian contemplation, projection.
There are a large range of approaches to counselling and to spiritual
direction/spiritual accompanying/soul friending. So this article is
inevitably coloured by where the author is coming from: a person-
centred approach to counselling, also using insights from transactional
analysis and gestalt, and offering spiritual direction as part of a ministry
in an Anglican retreat house.

1. Differences and similarities in practice

The issue here is how much overlap there is between these disciplines.
Practitioners in counselling and spiritual direction vary considerably in
the answer they give to this question1

Contact 143,2004,28-36
© Copyright Contact 2004

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 What is the primary focus in each? In counselling by and large it is
problems, or an awareness of dysfunction: the counselling relationship
enabling the client to function more fully as a person.2 In spiritual
direction it is the relationship with God. "Spiritual direction is
concerned with helping a person directly with his or her relationship
with God... and its underlying questions 'Who is God for me, and who
am I for him?'"3 There is a real difference or starting point there, but
in practice considerable overlap: counselling clients will sometimes talk
about God, and spiritual directees will bring their problems. In practice
in counselling sessions I follow the client as to whether or not we talk
about religious issues, or pray in the session. In spiritual direction I will
almost always at least finish in prayer and if it has not come up
otherwise ask some question about "where is God in all this?" I believe
prayer has to be used very carefully, it can easily become a back door
way of giving advice or pushing your own agenda in God's name.
When I do pray in a session I tend simply to use it as a summarizing
of what has passed in the session and placing it before God.
The primary purpose of pastoral care is more difficult to define,4 but
Clebsch and Jaekle,5 define it as "helping acts, done by representative
Christian persons, directed towards the healing, sustaining, guiding and
reconciling of troubled person whose troubles arise in the context of
ultimate meanings and concerns". However Wright casts the net wider
than "troubled persons" in his definition "Pastoral Care ... has one
fundamental aim: to help people know love, both as something to be
received and something to give.6" This rings true in my experience of
parish work where pastoral care involves care not just for those in
difficulty but wider into the congregation and wider community,
particularly focusing on transitions, for example welcoming newcomers
or preparing people for marriage. So, in this sense spiritual direction and
counselling done in a Christian context are aspects of pastoral care. Both
pastoral care and spiritual direction assume a context of the wider church
or body of Christ. This reflects the belief that human beings do not exist
in isolation but in community, in relationship to others. In counselling
this community dimension is less acknowledged, which is one of the
criticisms sometimes leveled at counselling.7 Within the context of the
church community both counselling and spiritual direction could be seen
as aspects of pastoral care.
Most pastoral care will be offered from within a church community,
however both counselling and spiritual direction will very often be
offered by individuals outside that church community. There is a sense
that being outside or a liminal person can be a real asset for both those
who offer spiritual accompanying and those offering counselling. In
earlier centuries the desert fathers and mothers often fulfilled such roles
and literally lived on the edge of society.
In counselling we always start with a contract! By and large this is
much more explicit and defined, for example with confidentiality. At

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the outset of counselling the limits of confidentiality are stated - some
in very serious danger may deem sharing with a supervisor appropriate.
In sacramental confession absolute confidentiality is offered. In much
pastoral care and spiritual direction, confidentiality is usually assumed,
often offered, but rarely defined. Charging is the norm for counselling, very
rare in most other pastoral care, and practice varies in spiritual direction.
In counselling circles charging is justified in that it puts a value on the
counselling and encourages a commitment to the process, and of course
counsellors need to earn a living. Nevertheless there is a theological issue
here, underlying this are the set of market values about supply and demand
which govern the way our society operates. These values may be
questioned with a theology of grace, a freely given gift, linked to God's
freely given love, offered out of love, in response to need not ability to pay.
However it is easier to adopt such a position from the luxury of having a
stipend or another occupation to fund one's spiritual direction work!
A counsellor will meet his or her client usually weekly, sometimes
more frequently in psychotherapy, and the number of sessions will vary
from a few in short-term counselling, to several every month depending
on the contract and nature of the problem. In spiritual direction the
contract is not focused on a problem but on the directee's life journey;
meetings are usually more infrequent, every six weeks to three months
is common, but director and directee can meet over a period of many
years. Another form of spiritual direction occurs on an individually
guided retreat of say, a week of guided prayer when meetings will be
daily for the duration of the retreat. The frequency of meeting clearly
has an effect on the nature and depth of the relationship. However my
experience is that over a period of time even meeting relatively
infrequently a relationship between director and directee can become
very deep because of the nature of what is being shared.
Another area of difference is that of training. Counsellors these days
are usually trained at least to diploma level and within a few years
accreditation by BACP or one of the other organizations will be
mandatory. Pastoral care practitioners, or spiritual directors do not have
systems of accreditation or centrally dictated training standards,

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although in both there are increasing moves towards more training and
qualifications. An issue is the tension between training and external
accreditation on the one hand and natural gifting and charismata on the
other. These are not mutually exclusive, but an excessive stress on
academic hoops can exclude some gifted people as has happened in
nursing. Initial and ongoing training is desirable but reflection is needed
before pastoral care and spiritual direction uncritically follow the
"professional" counselling model with its inward looking professional
concerns and exclusiveness. Pastoral care is the work of the whole body
of Christ, and there is a danger as clericalism decreases that another
professional model creeps in to replace it. Yet there is a need to ensure
good and ethical practice.
Supervision is mandatory in counselling and a key way of insuring
good practice. It is used in pastoral care and in spiritual direction but
is by no means universal. My impression through my contacts in
Coventry Diocese is that a minority of spiritual directors have regular
supervision except during events such as individually guided retreats
or weeks of guided prayer where some form of group supervision is the
norm. Again it is worth questioning whether a counselling model of
supervision is the best one and exploring what the best model of
supervision for spiritual direction may be, where for example meetings
with directees are usually less frequent. However more widespread
supervision for spiritual directors would encourage more reflective
practice and offer another safeguard to directees.
Spiritual direction will sometimes involve information giving and
suggestions from the director, for example concerning ways of praying,
or reading particular passages of scripture to pray on an individually
guided retreat. All these are usually done sparingly and with an
empathetic awareness of the client's needs and frame of reference.
However these are usually absentfromperson-centred counselling (but
teaching and reading canfigurein cognitive counselling approaches). In
the later stages of person-centred counselling we may get closer to a kind
of Socratic dialogue between counsellor and client as the client's frame
of reference becomes strong enough to cope with the counsellor's ideas.8

2· Psychological Process
Person centred theory argues that for a therapeutic relationship to be
formed certain core conditions need to be present:

1. That two persons are in contact

2. That the client is in a state of incongruence, being vulnerable, or is
anxious.
3. That the counsellor is congruent in the relationship
4. That the counsellor is experiencing unconditional positive regard
towards the client

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5. That the therapist is experiencing an empathetic understanding of
the client's frame of reference
6. That the client perceives, at least to a minimal degree, conditions 4
and 5 in the counsellor.9
With the exception of 2 (although that is quite often present!) these
conditions to a greater or lesser extent need to be present in a spiritual
direction relationship, or to put it in less technical terms the director needs
to offer the directee an appropriate level of understanding, acceptance,
honesty and trustworthiness. The two need to be in contact and the
directee needs to have some trust and confidence in the director.
Although spiritual direction is primarily about the directee's relationship
with God, the relationship with the director is very important.
To illustrate the next point, an exercise: set out some objects, for
example a chipped cup, a brick, a teddy bear, a nest. Ask people to
pick one and describe it with a series of statements, for example "the
brick is heavy". Very often after the first few statements the
descriptions come from the self-awareness of the person making the
statements. For example "the cup is dry and empty". This is brought
out by then asking the person to change the statements to the first
person: "I am dry and empty." This process is projection and is
powerful in both counselling and spiritual direction. The Ignatian
technique of "imaginative contemplation or meditation" involves you
imagining your self to be a participant in a scriptural narrative, for
example a man being healed of his blindness (e.g. Mark 8 v22-26). In
doing so the person praying will project their own experience, feelings
or concerns into the meditation, often bringing into consciousness
things just below the surface. The process of projection enables these
experiences/ feelings/concerns to be explored and clarified and
sometimes brought towards a resolution. The process is akin to the
person-centred approach in that the spiritual director in exploring this
process with a directee will not impose interpretations but seek to
reflect and draw out the directee's experience.
There are parallels with Leisl Silverstone's person-centred art
therapy,10 in which the counselling client is encouraged to imagine and
then produce images which are then worked with in the counselling
process.11 Such images can comefromthe subconscious, and the process
of creating the image allows exploration and clarification. Sometimes
on individually guided retreats I have encouraged directees to draw
images from Ignatian contemplations, and the process has opened up
a further dimension in exploring the significance of these meditations.
Pastels and a mixture of chalks, felt pens, crayons, charcoal pencils and
fairly large paper in a range of colours are good media to encourage a
loose, free approach. Assurances that the process is not about artistic
merit but self-expression can help! Guided imagery, using the
imagination in a directed way is used in some forms of counselling.

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 But where is God in all this? What distinguishes counselling from
spiritual direction? As we have seen considerable overlap and cross-
fertilization are possible. Spiritual direction seeks explicitly to discern
where God is present and guiding; one could say there are three people
present in the spiritual direction session: the directee, the director and
Christ through the Holy Spirit (Matthew 18v20; 12). If we believe that
God is present and active in the processes of creation and can inspire,
then, amongst other things the Holy Spirit can be working in the
psychological process of projection.
Another psychological process present both in counselling and in
spiritual direction and in many other relationships is transference and
counter-transference. Transference has been defined as "the tendency
[of the "patient"] to displace onto the therapist feelings, ideas and so
forth which originate with previous figures, often parental, in the
patient's life. ...in essence when a person is transferring to us, he is
placing another's face upon us".13 Counter-transference is the same
process in reverse: the counsellor treating the client as though he/she
were some other individual.14 Different counselling approaches
approach transference in different ways. In psychodynamic approaches
it is at the heart of the process of therapy, whereas in person-centred
therapy it is brought to the surface and acknowledged and moved
through but is much less central to therapy.15 In spiritual direction an
awareness of transference and counter-transference can be helpful. As
well as transference onto the spiritual director, there is frequently
transference onto God, for example, God as the judging unsympathetic
father figure. To be able to bring the transference to Sie surface and help
the directee to move on from a constricted view of God can be a
liberating experience for them. Similar issues can arise in pastoral care
and clergy in particular have many projections and transferences put
on them.

3. Theological Observations
Discernment is a key concept in spiritual direction. What is God's will
for me? At first glance this seems quite different from the counselling
goal of being freely and fully functional.16 However discernment
involves getting in touch with one's own deepest desires and
discovering an inner freedom. Hughes writes: "How are we to
distinguish the creative from the destructive in our lives? When we
have made this discovery, how can we react to the creative and
destructive elements in such a way that the destructive become creative
and the creative remains life giving for ourselves and others? The
process is summed up in the word 'discernment'."17 The theological
assumption behind this is St. Augustine's doctrine of desire : "Man (sic)
is one of your creatures Lord and his instinct is to praise you... The
thought of you stirs him so deeply, that he cannot be content unless he

33
praises you, because you made us for yourself, and our hearts find no
peace until they rest in you."18 The sense is that deep down our desires
only find their fulfillment in God. So growth in self-awareness runs
parallel to growth in God-awareness. So there are parallels with the
counselling process of "self-actualization" but with a specific theological
assumption concerning the Godward direction of that "actualization"
and sees the process ending up in God: the Eastern Orthodox tradition
speaks of "deification".19 The traditional Christian approach also lays
more stress on the flawed nature of humanity than Rogers.
"Spirituality" is the stuff of spiritual direction, in recent years it has
become an acceptable and acknowledged part of counselling. Brian
Thorne writes of experiences beyond words in the counselling
relationship.20 He also talks of the need for counsellors to be able to offer
empathy to their client's experience of the spiritual.21 The "spiritual"
however one might define as part of human experience and therefore
part of the content of counselling, particularly as counselling often
explores the areas of meaning and purpose in life. Tïllich22 wrote of the
fundamental anxieties of human experience, the fear of
meaninglessness and loss of purpose, the fear of guilt and
condemnation, and the fear of death and non being. He made the point
that different fears are to the fore at different points in history, but that
these are fundamental to the human condition and therefore will be
present in spiritual direction, counselling and indeed pastoral care.
Questions of meaning and spirituality are explicitly part of the agenda
for counselling approaches such as existentialist therapy23 and
psychosynthesis.24 Rogers later in life came to acknowledge the
importance of such issues and Thorne25 and others have taken this
further. Much of the counselling approach to spirituality comes from
a phenomenological approach, which starts with human beings'
subjective interpretation of things to themselves.26 Spiritual direction
likewise starts with the client's subjective reality, but in the Christian
context also connects to revelation, particularly in the person of Christ,
so unlike counselling it assumes an external reality outside the client's
subjective experiencing. This too is the context for Christian pastoral
care.
In conclusion, within a Christian context, both spiritual direction and
pastoral counselling are carried out within the context of the pastoral
care in the Christian community and in the context of the Christian faith.
Obviously much counselling and some spiritual direction occur outside
this context. Similar psychological processes are often at work in
pastoral care, spiritual direction and counselling, although these are
more explicitly on the agenda in counselling. In all three an
understanding of these processes can facilitate movement in the process.
Both counselling and spiritual direction face issues of meaning and
purpose in life and spirituality, and are founded on a relationship
between counsellor and client or director and directee founded on

34
empathy, acceptance and congruence. However differences both in
context and contract give different starting points and often a different
feel to the relationship between spiritual director and directee and
counsellor and client.
(This article was based on a lecture given to Lichfield Diocesan
Counselling network 21 June 2003)

References
Alfeyev, Hilarión The Mystery of Faith: An Introduction to the Teaching and Spirituality of the
Orthodox Church London: DLT, 2002
Augustine Confessions. Ed R.S. Pine-Coffin. London: Penguin, 1961.
Barry, W.A. & Connolly, W. J. The Practice of Spiritual Direction San Francisco: Harper & Row
1982.
Clebsch, W. A. & Jaekle, C.R., Pastoral Care in Historical Perspective, New York:Aronson 1975
Fleming, D. L. The Best of the Review 3: The Christian Ministry ofSpiritual Direction. St Lewis:
Review for Religious, 1988.
Hughes, Gerard W God In All Things London: Hodder & Stroughton. 2003.
Kirschenbaum, Howard & Henderson, Valerie Land (eds.) The Carl Rogers Reader London:
Constable 1990.
McKeown, Ε. M.A. Thesis Liverpool John Manchester unpublished. 2002
Pattison, S. A Critique of Pastoral Care London: SCM Press 1988.
Silverstone, Liesl Art Therapy the Person Centred Way. London: Jessica Kingsley 1997.
Strasser, Freddie & Strasser, Alison Existential Time Limited Therapy. Chichester: Whiley, 1997
Thorne, Brian Person Centred Counselling and Christian Spirituality. London: Whirr, 1998
Tillich, P. The Courage to be. London, Collins, 1962
Whitmore, Diana Psychosynthesis Counselling, 2T1 ed. London: Sage 2000.
Worsley, Richard. Personal communication, 2003

Andrew De Smet is Warden of Offa House the Coventry Diocesan Retreat House
and Conference Centre and Coventry Diocesan Adviser in Pastoral Care. He is
an Anglican Priest and works both as a Spiritual Director and a Counsellor.

Endnotes
1. McKeown, E. M.A. Thesis Manchester University unpublished, 2002
2. Rogers in Kirschenbaum, Howard & Henderson, Valerie Land (eds.) The Carl Rogers
Reader London: Constable 1990., ρ 65ff.
3. Barry, W.A. & Connolly, W. J. The Practice of Spiritual Direction San Francisco: Harper
& Row 1982.p5
4. Pattison, S. A Critique of Pastoral Care London: SCM Press 1988.
5. Clebsch, W. A. & Jaekle, CR., Pastoral Care in Historical Perspective, N e w
York:Aronson 1975, p4.
6. Wright, Frank Pastoral Care Revisited London, SPCK, 1996, p2.
7. Pattison, ρ 84
8. Worsley, Richard. Personal communication, 2003
9. Rogers in Kirschenbaum & Henderson, p238f
10. Silverstone, Liesl Art Therapy the Person Centred Way. London: Jessica Kingsley 1997.
11. Ibid, p5.

35
 12. Mckeown, 2002, ρ 49
13. Geromel, in Fleming, D. L. The Best of the Review 3: The Christian Ministry of Spiritual
Direction. St. Lewis: Review for Religious, 1988; pl54.
14. Ibid, pl55
15. Rogers in Kirchenbaum & Henderson, ρ 129f
16. Ibid, p416
17. Hughes, Gerard W God In All Things London: Hodder & Stroughton. 2003, p89.
18. Augustine Confessions. Ed R.S. Pine-Coffin. London: Penguin, 1961, Confessions 1.1.
19. Alfeyev, Hilarión The Mystery of Faith: An Introduction to the Teaching and Spirituality
of the Orthodox Church London: DLT, 2002, pl91.
20. Thorne, Brian Person Centred Counselling and Christian Spirituality. London: Whirr,
1998, p35ff.
21. ibid., p78f
22. Tillich, P. The Courage to be. London, Collins, 1962, p48ff.
23. Strasser, Freddie & Strasser, Alison Existential Time Limited Therapy. Chichester:
Whüey, 1997, plO.
24. Whitmore, Diana Psychosynthesis Counselling, 2nd ed. London: Sage 2000, p5.
25. Thorne, p74ff.
26. Strasser & Strasser, p9

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