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Jazmine Ibarra

Sarah Thaller

Fire Cohort

1 March 2021

Academic Language (REVISED)

1. Example: For me, personally, I think that finding a way for seniors to have an in-person prom is

really important.

a. Revised:

Dear Dr. Sarah,

I am writing to you to propose the idea of having an in-person prom, which is crucial to having a

complete high school experience. I understand that we are living in unprecedented times due to this

pandemic, but we are all missing the human interaction we used to have everyday at school. However, if

you do not agree with my proposition, I would like to propose a compromise. This compromise would

entail a bonfire at the end of the year for the seniors. I have not set a date, time, or location for this event.

I am happy to discuss this further with you if this would help you make a decision. Thank you for your

consideration.

2. Example: You should do it because it is a really good thing.

a. Revised:

Dear Dr. Sarah,

I am writing to you in regards to your questions about planning a senior bonfire instead of an in-person

prom. Next month, will mark a year that we have been in quarantine and practicing distance learning. An

in-person prom will need a big venue, whereas having a senior bonfire will not need as much space. This

is the best way for students to mingle once again and for the last time. This can be approached by

reserving a spot for a day at a beach. Again, I have yet to decide on a location, date and time, but this can

be made possible in small groups of students while also practicing social distancing. However, we will
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need teachers to chaperone, which is where you come into this. I would like to know your thoughts on this

and whether or not this is possible. Thank you for your time and consideration.

3. Example: I just wanted to email you to see if maybe you would want to change the deadline on

that assignment.

a. Revised:

Hello Dr. Sarah,

Good afternoon. I am emailing you in request of an extension on the Asking Academic Questions

assignment, which is due on Friday, February 26th. A family emergency has come to my attention and

because of it, I will not be able to complete the assignment on time. Please let me know if it is possible for

me to submit the assignment at a later date. If you have any questions for me, I am happy to provide you

with additional information if this would help you make a decision. Thank you for your time and

consideration.

4. One of the ways that this policy might be racist is in the way that it kind of favors certain ethnic

groups in terms of what is established as the norm.

a. Revised: Dress code policy is racist in the way that it favors certain ethnic groups, in terms of

what is established as the norm. For example, some schools may not allow people who identify as Jewish

to wear their kippah, or those who identify as Muslim to wear their hijab, which are both head coverings

they wear in practice of their country’s beliefs or religion. I don’t see how either of these head coverings

would limit someone’s ability to learn or pay attention in class. Students should be allowed to wear head

coverings like this. However, if it is not school appropriate, and has inappropriate drawings, photos, or

words on the clothing item, it should not be allowed. Dress code is something that is not heavily enforced

at our school. There is plenty of evidence that White people are not given warnings, suspension, or etc.

for the way that they dress, in comparison to people of color who dress similarly. What other people wear

does not physically, mentally, or emotionally, in any way, harm anyone around them. People own their

own bodies, but people do not own other people’s bodies, so dress code policy should be changed to be

accepting of those who dress differently according to their beliefs.

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Source: https://www.edutopia.org/article/taking-stand-against-discriminatory-school-policies

5. I think you should change my grade on the assignment because I know I did it right and I don't

know why you graded me so harshly. Thanks in advance.

a. Revised:

Dear Dr. Sarah,

I am writing to you in request of a higher grade on the Academic Language assignment. First, I would like

to ask to meet you after today’s class to discuss with you what I have done incorrectly, so I can correct my

mistakes. Please let me know if you are available to talk with me after today’s meeting. Thank you for

your time and consideration.