GRSC6021

GRSC6021
Introduction to Thesis Writing

(Sciences and the Related Disciplines)
Centre for Applied English Studies
The University of Hong Kong

Contact Information
My Class Teacher
Name
Email Address
Office
Telephone No.
Course Co-ordinator:
Dr. Lillian Wong
lillianwong@hku.hk
2016© Centre for Applied English Studies

6/F, Run Run Shaw Tower, Centennial Campus
The University of Hong Kong
Pokfulam
Hong Kong
Tel: 3917 2004
http://caes.hku.hk/
The copyright for these materials is owned by the Centre for Applied English Studies
at the University of Hong Kong. These materials may not be reproduced without
permission.
GRSC6021 Introduction to Thesis Writing Page 1

Table of Contents
Letter from the Director
CAES Rules
Graduate Student Writing Support Service
Course Overview
Diagnostic Assessment Profile
Unit 1 Overview of Thesis Writing .......................................................... p.18
Unit 2 Writing the Introduction Chapter .............................................. p.34
Unit 3 Writing the Literature Review Chapter ................................... p.44
Unit 4 Citation, Referencing and Paraphrasing .................................. p.59
Unit 5 Writing Research Hypotheses and

Writing the Methodology Chapter ............................................ p.66
Unit 6 Writing the Results and Discussion Chapter ......................... p.80
Unit 7 Language Delicacy and Making Reasonable Claims ........... p.96
Unit 8 Writing the Conclusion Chapter and

Writing the Abstract ........................................................................ p.114
Appendix .................................................................................................................. p.130

Letter from the Director
Dear Student,
Welcome to your Academic English course. You are probably wondering what this programme
will offer you and what you will find in this book. Let me first reassure you about what you
are getting yourself into. You are among the 7,500 undergraduate and postgraduate
students who will take one of our courses this year – so you are in very experienced hands.
Our goal is to assist you with the English you need for your professional and academic
development so that you can approach your graduate studies with more confidence and a
greater chance of success.
To achieve this goal you will find yourself in a small group of around thirty students where
we encourage English to be spoken at all times. Your teacher will do his or her best to
provide an active and supportive learning environment for you by arriving on time, being
well prepared, providing tasks to help you engage with your learning, and by giving you
feedback on your work in a timely manner. The teacher will also explain the course
assignments and assessment criteria to you clearly in advance and answer any questions
you may have about the course and about English language learning in general. He or she
cannot, however, proofread your work for you or help you with assignments from other
courses.
To get the most from your course, however, you need to participate in the class by arriving
on time and being well prepared, by speaking in English as much as possible and by taking
a full and active part in your classes, for example by working with others in group work.
It is also important to attend all classes and to inform the teacher in advance if you need to
miss a class.
I hope you enjoy your English course and wish you success in your studies. Good luck!
Professor Ken Hyland

Director and Chair of Applied Linguistics

CAES Rules
Attendance
CAES expects students to attend 100% of classes (including the add/drop period). 20%
absence is allowed for emergencies or sick leave. Those who attend less than 80% of classes
should provide a medical certificate to their teacher. Students who miss a substantial
proportion of the course may be required to repeat the course at the discretion of the course
coordinator.
Plagiarism
Plagiarism is defined as "Direct copying of textual material or willful use of other
people's data and ideas, and presenting them as one's own without acknowledgement,
whether or not such materials, data and ideas have been published" in the Regulations
Governing Students' Academic Conduct Concerning Assessment (29/1012 amended).
Evidence of plagiarism in completed assessments will result in a zero mark for the
assessed work and may also be considered for further disciplinary action. If a student fails
an assessment because of plagiarism, the student's faculty will be informed.
Submission of Assignments
If you are sick and unable to hand in an assignment, you must contact your teacher to
let them know and also provide a medical certificate. Assignments which are handed in
up to three days late will have one full letter grade deducted each day. If your
assignment is more than three days late, it will not be marked.
Bad Weather
In the case of bad weather such as Black / Red Rain or Typhoon Signal 8, please follow
the university guidelines at:
http://www.asa.hku.hk/weather.htm

ENGLISH FOR FREE IN THE LEARNING COMMONS, ZONE R,
STUDENT ADVISORY SERVICES
Want to watch recent movies and TV series from the UK and USA?
Want to get one on one advice from CAES experts about ways to improve your English?
Want to discuss interesting topics with other students in English?
Want to attend workshops on pronunciation or conversational English?
Need to prepare for the IELTS test?
Need to improve your writing skills?
THEN GO TO THE …
Learning Commons, Zone R, Student Advisory Services, Run Run Shaw Tower 2/F.
Check out the Virtual English website (VE) http://caes.hku.hk/ve
FACILITIES: The Learning Commons, Zone R, has the following facilities…
 A wide range of resources for improving English skills

 Activities room for group workshops and discussions
 Reading area with newspapers and magazines
 Consultation rooms for student advisory services (CAES, CEDARS, Library, etc.)
ENGLISH SUPPORT: Zone R provides human support…
 Consultations where you can talk to a CAES consultant about suitable learning
materials. You can get advice about language problems, ways of learning more
efficiently, and diagnosis of pronunciation, writing and grammar weaknesses. Sign
up at http://caes.hku.hk/ve
 Discussion groups and other self-access learning workshops that are run by the
CAES consultants. Sign up at http://caes.hku.hk/ve

ENGLISH RESOURCES: Zone R contains loads of resources…
 Over 1800 feature films, comedy and detective series, documentaries, and BBC
classic drama series.
 Newspapers and magazines including the South China Morning Post, Time, the
Economist, Wallpaper, National Geographic and Time Out Hong Kong.
 Hundreds of books, DVDs, CD-ROMs and tapes for studying English. Look at the VE
online catalogue for up-to-date lists of what's available
 Shelves of test preparation and reference materials: IELTS, TOEFL, GRE, TOEIC etc.
ONLINE LEARNING:
 Check out the English Learning Resources at
http://www2.caes.hku.hk/ve/internet-resources/
A portal to a world-wide range of online resources as well as a guide to independent
learning.
Support for Students with Disabilities or Special Educational Needs

It is important to CAES that every student has a successful learning experience in our courses.
If students feel that they have any special needs which might impair their ability to participate in
activities or complete course assignments, they are encouraged to contact CEDARS and/or their
course teacher and the course coordinator as soon as possible.
Teachers will make an effort to accommodate special needs students when arranging or
conducting learning activities.
If students have any special needs that might impact their ability to complete any assessed task
they should present documentation to CEDARS and ask that the course coordinator is informed
so that special arrangements can be made if deemed appropriate.
The CEDARS webpage on accessibility support for students with disabilities is linked below:
http://wp.cedars.hku.hk/web/cope/?p=1144

CEDARS - Room 301 - Main Building
CEDARS-Counselling and Person Enrichment Section (CEDARS-CoPE) promotes attitudes

and skills that are necessary for your success in the university environment and in your
pursuit of productive, satisfying and psychologically healthy lives.
Exam and test taking advice
 http://w3.cedars.hku.hk/counselling/content/resources.php
Counselling for students with emotional / mental issues

 http://w3.cedars.hku.hk/counselling/content/CAC.php
Help for students with learning difficulties such as dyslexia

 http://w3.cedars.hku.hk/counselling/content/diversity.php#dyslexia
Careers advice
 http://cedars.hku.hk/showext.php?id=cp

Graduate Student Writing Support Service
(http://www.gradsch.hku.hk/gradsch/current-students/coursework-
information/supporting-courses-services/graduate-student-writing-support-service)
This service aims to assist research postgraduate students who need help with their academic writing
in English. The service will diagnose the specific features of a student's writing which are leading to a
breakdown in communication in order to raise the students' awareness of those lexical and
grammatical features that will need attention during the writing and editing of the student's thesis.
A student should submit a substantial piece of writing, not more than 15 pages in length, for critical
reading. After a consultant has diagnosed the main problems in the writing, he/she will meet with the
student to discuss the paper and give feedback, both spoken and written.
It is important to realise that this is not a proofreading service. The intention of the diagnosis and
discussion is to improve the student as a writer, by raising awareness of language issues, rather than
to improve the particular piece of writing submitted. For this reason, students are advised to take
advantage of this service as early in their postgraduate studies as possible so that they then have
a reasonable amount of time between the consultation and the actual writing of the thesis to make the
necessary improvements. Maximum benefit will be gained from this service by students who have
previously attended the Introduction to Thesis Writing course.
Each student is entitled to 4 hours of consultation. These 4 hours covers both diagnosis of problems
and discussion time. Actual one-to-one contact with the teacher will vary depending on how much time
is needed to diagnose the problems in the writing.
Eligibility and Enrolment

All current MPhil/PhD students (including F/T and P/T) are eligible for the above services during their
candidature for their degrees. However, each student is entitled to 4 hours of free service only.
For FREE service, students should complete the Application Form for Support Services for MPhil/PhD
Students (GS3) and return the form to the Graduate School.
Further consultation hours are charged at HKD414 per hour. Students are required to complete a
separate form for further service (GS4) which is obtainable from the Graduate School on request.
Those who are supported by their departments should seek endorsement from their supervisors and
Heads of departments, and specify the number of hours sponsored and the departmental account code
to be charged. For self-financing students, please submit the correct amount of payment.

Course Overview
Course Description
The aim of this 24-hour course is to enhance participants’ awareness of the various skills and
the process of writing required in completing an M. Phil and a Ph. D thesis in the science and
related disciplines so that you can approach the writing of a thesis more systematically and
with greater confidence.
Topics to be covered include: the structure of different types of theses; the discourse features
and language used in reviewing research literature, making explicit the research gap, stating
hypotheses or research questions, reporting and discussing results as well as findings; the
writing of abstracts, introductions and conclusions; the use of verbal signposts and verb
tenses across the thesis; and issues of language delicacy.
Classes are conducted in an interactive manner requiring participants to discuss the language
used in text extracts from a variety of disciplines so that they can deploy the use of such
language in their own writing.
Assessment takes the form a 1,500-1,600-word assignment related to the students’ research
area.
Course Learning Outcomes

By the end of this course, you should be able to
 demonstrate awareness of devices used to create cohesive text and appropriate
grammatical choices to clarify meaning and indicate relative importance of ideas;
 identify and apply language features, rhetorical devices, and the citation and
referencing format used by academics in writing up research in their discipline; and
 apply knowledge of overall communicative organization in a thesis as well as
linguistic and rhetorical features when writing about your own research.

Course Text and a Thesis
In order to follow the course you will need:
 This course booklet
 The course Study Guide for the Sciences & Related Disciplines
 The course reference books:
Caplan, N. A. (2012). Grammar Choices for Graduate and Professional Writers.
Michigan: University of Michigan Press.
Cooley, L., & Lewkowicz, J. (2003). Dissertation writing in practice: Turning ideas into
text. Hong Kong: Hong Kong University Press.
Swales, J. M. & Feak, C. B. (2012). Academic Writing for Graduate Students: Essential
Tasks and Skills (3rd Edition). Michigan: University of Michigan Press.
*Other than the course text, you may consider the following key references, which are
specific to the sciences and related disciplines:
Russey, W. E., Ebel, H. F. & Bliefert, (2006). How to write a successful science thesis: The
concise guide for students. Weinheim: Wiley-VCH.
Matthews, J. R., & Matthews, R. W. (2008). Successful scientific writing: A step-by-step

guide for the biological and medical sciences (3rd ed.) Cambridge; New York: Cambridge
University Press.
 A Ph. D or an M. Phil thesis from the library, your department or your supervisor,
preferably in the research area that you are interested in. Ask your supervisor to
recommend one that is also written well.
 Teacher supplied class handouts.
 Collect from the Graduate School (also online & in department)

o Preparing and submitting your thesis
o Plagiarism and how to avoid it
http://ec.hku.hk/plagiarism
written by Dr. David Gardner, CAES

Assessment
The course assessment will be based on a portfolio containing two pieces of work (1,500-
1,600 words in total, excluding your reference list). Work on which you have received
feedback during the course should be edited before you submit it again as part of the portfolio
at the end of the course.
A. Literature Review (750-800 words)

Your review may:
1. discuss a key concept in your research or
2. discuss previous findings related to your research.
You should:
 begin with a clear introductory paragraph including a statement of the
research topic and purpose of the review,
 make reference to 5-10 relevant sources,
 discuss the literature critically and identify the research gap, highlighting
differences among the sources you cite, and
 include the research aim, hypotheses and/or one to two possible research
questions, arising from the review
Use an appropriate style for citations and references. This may be the style suggested by your
supervisor or department, OR that of a journal in which you would like to publish in the future.
Be sure to apply it consistently and accurately.
B. Critique of a Thesis (750-800 words)

Write a critical review of an M. Phil or a Ph. D thesis in your subject area (i.e. the sample thesis
that you have been analyzing throughout the course.)
The review should consist of four key aspects (approximately equal in length)
 Summary – you should briefly introduce the research question(s) (or hypotheses,
etc.), explain how the research was carried out, and state the main findings or
conclusion
 Critique of content – you can also integrate your critique within the summary
 Critique of the structure and meta-text (signposting)
 Critique of language – hedging, boosting, attitude markers, grammatical accuracy
and appropriacy (e.g. tense, cohesive devices, etc.)

Remember to:
 demonstrate the use of critical language and give evidence to support your critique
 provide a reference list entry for all sources cited in your assignment (NOT the
reference list of the sample thesis)
 attach a copy of the thesis abstract to paper copy of the assignment
Submission and feedback:

 Paper copy:
o The portfolio should be submitted in hard copy two weeks after the end of the
course. Please attach to it the cover sheet provided.
 Soft copy:
o You MUST also submit to Turnitin via the course Moodle site
Final Portfolio Due Date:

__________________________

Assessment Criteria
Submissions will be judged according to your ability to put into practice what has been taught
on the course and also on the readability of your text. Accurate use of grammar is a pre-
requisite of this course, so it is essential you proofread your work carefully. You will be given
a Pass or Fail grade on the basis of your portfolio.
Overall grade descriptors

The two assessment tasks in the course are weighted equally. Examiners assign the overall course
grade taking into account the student’s performance in both tasks. In the circumstance when one
task is marginally passable, examiners have the discretion to consider awarding an overall pass
for the course, provided that the performance on the other task is of a sufficiently high standard.
Grade descriptors of Task A:

Pass: A reasonable grasp of the topic reviewed as demonstrated by generally credible analysis of
ideas or critical interpretation of relevant reading or research. Some evidence of effective
organizational, rhetorical and presentation skills. Students display a reasonable knowledge and
performance in areas such as grammar and vocabulary.
Fail: A poor grasp of the topic reviewed. A general lack of familiarity with relevant reading and
research. Work presented is poorly organized, largely irrelevant and mostly incoherent. Students
display poor knowledge and performance in areas such as grammar and vocabulary. Work that is
10% over or under the word limit will be failed. Plagiarism will also result in a Fail. [N.B.
Submitting a large trunk of the literature review from your initial RPG proposal for
admission purposes will NOT be accepted]
Grade descriptors of Task B:

Pass: A reasonable grasp of the thesis reviewed as demonstrated by a generally credible summary
of the thesis and critical analysis of the research reported in the thesis. Some evidence of
awareness of the communicative aspects in the thesis such as its overall organization and the
language used. The critique itself is sufficiently organized and generally coherent. Students
display reasonable knowledge and performance in areas such as grammar and vocabulary.
Fail: A poor grasp of the thesis reviewed as demonstrated by an inadequate summary of the thesis
and little or no analysis of the research reported in the thesis. No evidence of awareness of the
communicative aspects in the thesis such as its overall organization and the language used. The
critique itself is poorly organized and mostly incoherent. Students display poor knowledge and
performance in areas such as grammar and vocabulary. Work that is 10% over or under the word
limit will be failed. Plagiarism will also result in a Fail.

Turnitin Guidelines for Students
There are 3 simple steps you must take to submit your writing to Turnitin: prepare your file,
go to the Moodle course site, and upload your paper (the file).
Step 1: Prepare your File

 The file name should be your name.
 Do not include any cover page in the file.
 At the top of the file, please include:
o Your full name (including your English name if you have one)
o Your University number
o Your department
Step 2: Go to the Moodle course site

 Log in the Portal
 Click on the tab My eLearning at the top
 Choose the Moodle course GRSC6021_2016
Step 3: Upload your paper (the file).

 Under the section Assessment Submissions choose the assignment (Literature Review
draft / Portfolio) you would like to submit to.
 Click on the tab My Submissions at the top.
 Enter the Submission title. Use your name.
 Click on the Browse … button to select the file you have prepared to submit
 Read and tick  By checking this box, I confirm that this submission is my own work
and I accept all responsibility for any copyright infringement that may occur as a result
of this submission..
 Click on the Add Submission button to submit the file.

Diagnostic Assessment Profile
The following questions aim to focus your attention on some key communication criteria you
need to consider in writing a reader-friendly thesis.
I. OVERALL COMMUNICATIVE SUCCESS

[How clearly and consistently information is presented throughout the dissertation and how
easy it is to follow the ideas in the text]
Purpose:
 Is the purpose of the research clearly stated at the outset?
 Has the need for this research been clearly established?
 Are the research questions clearly and explicitly stated?
 Are the questions answerable? Are they appropriate for M.Phil. / Ph.D.?
 Do you create, contest or apply a theoretical model appropriate to the research
domain in question?
Audience (explicitness):
 Is the general purpose and justification for the research clear to the non-specialist?
 Does the work assume knowledge which would only be accessible to someone with
a PhD in the area concerned?
Organization:
 Is the text well organized?
 Is the organization consistent with the overall purpose of the research?
 Are ‘facts’ synthesised and related to theoretical constructs / models?
 Are findings related to existing knowledge in the area under investigation?
Signposting
 Are titles and sub-titles informative?
 Is the organization of the dissertation, chapter, or section clearly signalled to the reader?
Consistency of argument:
 Are central concepts and constructs underlying the research operationally defined?
 Is their use in the writing consistent with the way in which they have been defined?
 Is there consistency in the research outcomes?
 If not, does the writer evaluate and adjudicate on conflicting findings?
 Are the arguments consistently presented?
 Are threats to the internal and external reliability and validity of the research
acknowledged?

II. SUBSTANTIATION
[How the work of others is referred to and how the writer’s own claims are presented]
Use of sources
 Is appropriate language used when referring to the work of others?
 Is it evident why all the sources have been cited?
 Are similarities of findings of others pointed out?
 Are conflicting findings of others acknowledged, evaluated and adjudicated upon?
 Is the discussion of others’ research clearly organized according to major themes
relevant to the problem being investigated?
 Have all sources been adequately and consistently referenced?
 Has the relative importance of others’ findings been indicated?
 Has source material been satisfactorily paraphrased?
 Are direct quotations mainly short and not too numerous?
Status of claims
 Is appropriate language used for making claims about own/others’ work?
 Are the limitations of own/others’ work acknowledged?
 Is appropriate language used when criticising the work of others?
III. DISCOURSE ELEMENTS AND FEATURES

[How information is introduced and developed within and across paragraphs]
Topic development
 Is the central topic of each paragraph readily identifiable?
 Is the central topic of the paragraph fully developed within the paragraph?
 Do all the sentences within a paragraph relate to the central theme or topic?
Cohesion
 Are the relationships among ideas across sentences clear?
 Are pronoun references correct and unambiguous?
 Have ideas been ‘tied together’ using given-new structure?
 Does the choice of vocabulary help tie text together?
 Does the writer rely too heavily on sentence connectors?
Clause structure
 Do main clauses carry the important information?
 Has information been well combined (coordinated, subordinated, nominalised) in sentences?

Grammatical choices
 Has the active voice and passive voice been used appropriately?
 Are tense choices clearly distinguished between ongoing and completed events as
well as habitual and one-off occurrences?
Vocabulary
 Does the writer show an awareness of subject-specific vocabulary?
 Is non-subject-specific vocabulary correctly used?
 Is the choice of vocabulary appropriate for formal academic writing?
IV. EDITING [How well the work has been proof-read and edited]
 Are there missing ‘s’es on 3rd person singular verbs?
 Are there missing ‘s’es on plurals?
 Are past and present participles (-ed and –ing) used correctly?
 Are adjectives and adverbs confused?
 Has the document been spell-checked?
 Is the spacing before and after punctuation marks correct and consistent?
 Are all citations correctly punctuated and acknowledged with page numbers?
 Is the list of references complete and consistently presented?

Unit 1 Overview of Thesis Writing
This unit aims to introduce you to three key concepts: audience, voice and overall
structure of a thesis. You will need to understand and apply these as you progress
through the course, when you write your thesis, and beyond.
Learning Outcomes
By the end of this unit, you should be able to:

 identify your target readers and address your writing to them
 recognize basic language features of academic texts; and
 identify the various thesis structures
‘Talking about’ your Research
There are many situations where you need to explain what your
research is about. Can you think of some situations? Will you explain
your research in the same way in all of these situations?
Warm-Up
Discussion
Academic Vs Non-Academic Style
Read the following texts and spot the differences in terms of language style and the way the
research interest is presented.
1. For a specialist in the field:
My research is in the field of financial time series, and my current research interest is in a
phenomenon called time dependent volatility of asset returns. The precise focus of my
research is to devise a new approach called the skewed normal Stochastic Volatility
Model. My interest in this topic developed through a growing belief that there is a need to
explain the asymmetric phenomena of return series. The significance of the research area
lies in providing an alternative to reflect the stochastic characteristics observed in
financial time series so that we can better understand the behaviour of financial time
series.

2. For someone outside the field:
I do research on financial time series. I am interested in unpredictable fluctuations in
asset returns and how a statistical model can help measure the degree of changes. I
become interested in this topic because I believe that a more advanced statistical model
can help understand different kinds of fluctuations in the financial market. I think
studying the model is important because it provides an alternative to capture the
stochastic characteristics found in financial time series.
(Adapted from Tsang, W. Y. (2000). Aspects of modelling stochastic volatility. MPhil thesis, the University of Hong
Kong.)
Notice how the text unfolds:

Introducing Your Research
Consider these questions as you read the following introductions:

1. What are the main points covered in each introduction and in what order?
2. What are the main differences between them?
3. Which do you find easier to understand? What makes one description easier to
understand than the other?
4. What is more like what you have to do in academic writing? In what ways?
5. What more do you have to do in a formal introduction to a thesis or a journal article?
Example 11
I am doing a project on language policy in China. I want to find out what has happened in the last
50 years. I want to know what policy steps the Chinese government has taken as well as what the
actual experience of learners in China has been. I plan to visit several different locations in China
to survey and interview people at different ages. I need to go to coastal regions as well as places
further inland. Coastal regions are usually richer and have better educational conditions. There
are also more opportunities to use English and the standard dialect, Putonghua, in coastal cities.
In the interior, there is less money for education, particularly for the minorities. That is why I want
to collect data from different places. I also plan to include younger and older people in my data
pool because there have been changes at different times in China. For example, in the early 1950s,
a lot of attention was given to standardizing Putonghua and simplifying the Chinese script. Some
work on the minority languages was also begun around that time. Then the Cultural Revolution
came and many educational measures were not implemented. When the Cultural Revolution
ended, circumstances became better again. For example, English was promoted as the most
important foreign language from 1977. I want to do this project because I think the information I
get will be useful for people interested in helping Chinese learners.
1
An informal introduction.

Example 22
The Language Education in China Project is designed to investigate into the policies on language
education in China as well as the language learning experience of learners at different time periods and
in different localities. The findings will contribute to the understanding of language education
processes and yield useful information for:
 policy planners and language program providers in China
 educators in Hong Kong providing language support to immigrants from the mainland
 international organizations promoting academic exchange with China
1. Background
Soon after the People’s Republic of China was established, several language policies were initiated.
Putonghua was promoted as the standard dialect. The Chinese script was simplified. Research on the
languages of the 55 minorities intensified. In 1977, English also became the important foreign language.
China being so vast, central policies could have been implemented to various degrees in different
localities. The economic gap between coastal urban areas and the interior might also have affected
resources for language education. Effects owing to the dialects or minority languages are also likely. To
appreciate what has been happening, the same questions must be asked in a number of localities and
of learners educated in different time periods. Previous research has tended to focus only on one of
these policies or on data from specific locations or age groups.
2. Objectives
This project is designed to give an overall analysis of all the language education policies and
circumstances in China since 1949.
a. The key policies to be investigated are:

 promotion of Putonghua as the standard dialect
 simplification of the Chinese script
 support for education in the minority languages
 adoption of English as the important foreign language
b. The central issues to be explored are:

 motivation behind the policies and subsequent changes
 variations in how these policies have been experienced at different times
 differences in implementation of policies that could be attributed to differences in resources
and economic motivation between coastal urban areas and the interior
 differences in language education experience arising from differences between Putonghua and
the local dialects or minority languages
3. Implementation
The changes in policy will be described with reference to archival materials and earlier studies. Actual
language education experience will be traced through surveys and interviews with informants from
selected parts of China and at different ages.
Source: The examples are based on the project, Language education in China: Policy and experience.
More information can be found in Lam, A. (2005). Language education in China: Policy and experience
from 1949. Hong Kong: Hong Kong University Press.
2
The example is adapted from a brochure on the project for potential interviewees.

Explain what your research is about to other students in your group.
If you find this difficult, get someone to ask you the questions below
one after another. If you are a listener and the speaker seems to be
Discussion having difficulty, help out by asking one or two of these questions.
When you are listening to other students, pay close attention to

anything you do not understand. Help each other out by asking for
further explanation: “Can you explain…?” “What exactly do you mean
by…?”
1. What is the general field of your research?
2. What is the particular topic within this field that you are
interested in?
3. What specific questions or problems are you interested in?
4. Why are these questions/problems important?
5. In what way is your research useful to ordinary people who are
not researchers?
6. Have similar questions already been asked by other researchers?
7. What is already known about this topic? What is less known?
8. How will you find out more about this topic?
9. What will your sources of data be?
10. What methods of investigation will you use?
11. Are you working alone or as part of a team?
12. If you are working as part of a team, what will your personal
contribution be?
13. What state have you reached in your research?
14. Do you anticipate any problems?
Write a brief introduction to your proposed research (400-500

words). The description should be written for someone interested in
your topic but does not have much background knowledge about it. A
Writing Task possible reader to have in mind is a final year undergraduate student
(45 minutes) in your discipline. State the research area. Explain why you are
interested to do research in this area. Describe what you intend to find
out and how you plan to go about it. If you do not yet have a research
design in mind, that is fine. Just try to cover as many of the aspects
listed above as you can.

Writing a Thesis
Below are some beliefs about thesis/research article (RA) writing. Indicate whether you
agree or disagree and discuss your reasons with your classmate.
1. A “good” writer needs to get the writing done right the first time.
2. Writing can only start after the data have been gathered and analyzed.
3. Writing must proceed in a linear way from the introduction to the
conclusion.
4. Writers revise a chapter/paper after it is written.
Although every individual has a unique writing process, there are some findings about the
writing process that apply to most of us. The writing process is the complex route through
which the final text gets completed. At the end of the process we have the written product.
Research into the composing process has found the following facts about the writing process:
 Writing is a recursive not linear process - we, as writers, do not necessarily start
at the beginning and end at the end. A piece of writing is NEVER finished.
 Writing generates thinking - thinking does NOT stop as soon as we start writing but
often looking at the writing and re-reading what is written generates new ideas.
Writing helps us to organize our thoughts.
 Writing is a socialising process - a kind of written dialogue with the readers who
belong to a particular disciplinary community. This community has expectations of
what a good thesis/RA should contain and how it should be presented.

Features of a Well-Written Thesis
Look at the following checklist of some of the features of research articles. Decide with a
partner which four features you believe are the most important features to get right in your
thesis.
1. Well structured sentences 2. Correct spelling
3. Careful substantiation of the 4. Clearly structured argument

argument
5. Good cohesion between paragraphs 6. Good cohesion within paragraphs
7. Logical transition between 8. Good use of sources

chapters
9. Clear referencing 10. Simple vs complex word choices

and grammatical sentences
11. Clear layout 12. Clear overall organization
13. Clearly defined research niche 14. Clear development of topic

Structure of a Thesis
 With your classmates, brainstorm the functions of each chapter

of a typical thesis?
 Introduction
Discussion
 Literature Review
 Methods
 Results
 Discussion
 Conclusion
 Can you think of other possible structures of a thesis?
 Do you think there are theses which do not have one or more of
the above sections?
 Can you think of any other sections necessary in your discipline?

Function of Thesis Chapters
A thesis is a record of your research work. This work usually involves five major phases: (a)
deciding on an area of research, (b) identifying important questions within it that have not
yet been sufficiently addressed by previous research, (c) designing a study that will seek to
provide answers to these questions and carrying it out, (d) collating, analyzing and
interpreting results and (e) drawing generalizations from your findings.
The structure of a thesis usually follows the sequence of these five phases. In other words, it
is designed so that you can tell the story of your research as in the table below.
Chapter Function of the chapter
1. Introduction
2. Literature Review
3. Methods
4. Results
5. Discussion
6. Conclusion
In reality your work will likely not proceed in such a clear and linear fashion as suggested
above, rather in a more recursive way. Nonetheless, the above example offers a useful
structure for both planning your research and writing up your thesis in a common and
traditional way.
Variations in a Thesis Structure
Work in a group of 4-5. Each of you will be given the table of contents
of a different sample thesis. Identify the similarities and differences
in the structure.
Discussion

The structure of a thesis can vary, depending on the nature of your research:
 The IMRDC format: Introduction-Methods-Results-Discussion-Conclusion, with each

section addressing a particular aspect of the research study.
Chapter 1 Introduction
General background to the research
Literature review: the most important publications
General introduction of the research area
Significance of the study
Outline of the thesis
Chapter 2 Method
Research hypotheses and questions
Key framework/principle and concepts
Materials and steps used in the study
Chapter 3 Results
Results and findings
Chapter 4 Discussion
Interpretation of results with reference to literature review
Chapter 5 Conclusions3
Recap of the findings as a whole
Overall conclusion (and implications, if any)
Limitations and directions for further research
Sources:
(1) Cooley, L., & Lewkowicz, J. (2003). Dissertation writing in practice: Turning ideas into text. Hong
Kong: Hong Kong University Press.
(2) Matthews, J. R., & Matthews, R. W. (2008). Successful scientific writing: A step-by-step guide for
the biological and medical sciences (3rd Ed.). Cambridge: Cambridge University Press.
3 Discussion and Conclusions are sometimes combined in a thesis.

 A series of empirical studies: When the research involves more than one empirical
study (such as a series of experiments, surveys, case studies etc.) on the same research
topic, the structure overleaf is often broken up so that there is a separate chapter for
each study. Often each chapter has its own literature review, methodology, results,
discussion and conclusion sections.
General background to the project
General review of the literature
General introduction of the research area
Outline of the overall research design
Chapter 2 Report on Study 1

Introduction & literature review
Methods
Results
Discussion and conclusions

Methods
Results

Methods
Results
Chapter 5 Conclusion
General discussion of the studies as a whole
Directions for further research
Sources:
(1) Cooley, L., & Lewkowicz., J. (2003). Dissertation writing in practice: Turning ideas into text. Hong
(2) Matthews, J. R., & Matthews, R. W. (2008). Successful scientific writing: A step-by-step guide for the
biological and medical sciences (3rd Ed.). Cambridge: Cambridge University Press.

 Theme/topic based theses: In some disciplines in the humanities, research may focus
on texts and documents, for example, in literary studies, law, history, philosophy. In
social sciences, ethnographic and other types of qualitative studies are most common.
Research in such areas is often descriptive, analytical, argumentative and/or
interpretative. The resulting thesis has a structure determined more by the ideas in
the source materials and the argumentation of the researcher than by the stages of
the research. Literature is still reviewed and theoretical frameworks and the methods
of investigation/ analysis are still described, findings are still reported and discussed;
but according to each theme/topic.
General background to the study
General review of the literature
General introduction to the main research theme/topic
Chapter 2 Theme/topic 1
Sub-topic 1
Sub-topic 2
Sub-topic 3 …
Sub-topic 1
Sub-topic 2
Sub-topic 3 …
Sub-topic 1
Sub-topic 2
Sub-topic 3 …
Sub-topic 1
Sub-topic 2
Sub-topic 3 …
General discussion of the themes/topics as a whole
Directions for further research
Sources:

 Research article-based theses: This type of thesis based on published research articles
is becoming increasingly common in some countries. Each article/chapter needs to
stand on its own and will therefore have its own introduction, literature review,
methods, results, discussion and conclusion. However, the collected papers need an
introductory chapter identifying the initial gap in research that links them together.
Moreover, the findings need to be consolidated in an overall discussion, and a
concluding chapter drawn from all the papers.
Background to the study
Chapter 2 Research article 1

Introduction
Literature review
Materials & methods
Results
Discussion
Conclusions
Chapter 3 Research article 2

Introduction
Literature review
Materials & methods
Results
Discussion
Conclusions
Chapter 4 Research article 3, etc.

Introduction
Literature review
Materials & methods
Results
Discussion
Conclusions
Overall discussion & conclusions
Sources:

The ‘Hourglass’ Thesis Model Based on Primary Research
The picture below shows the ‘hourglass’ thesis model. The model suggests that the early and
later chapters of a thesis (e.g. the Introduction and the Results chapters) are often broader
in scope as the writers need to relate their research topics or findings to the existing
literature, but in the middle chapters (e.g. Methods) the writers often narrow the focus to
their own research studies.

Your Voice: Signposting
Your thesis structure is also important as a signpost to readers. It tells

them where to go to find the information that interests them.
Advance signposting is crucial in the writing of an extended text like
a thesis.
Signposting is indicating or signaling what’s coming ahead -

sometimes far ahead as in your table of contents.
It is also a way you speak to the reader about the text you are writing – a way to make your
voice heard!
It is important for you and also for your reader

 Initially, it helps you to see where you are going and how your ideas fit together.
 Later, it guides your readers, your examiners and others.
Titles/Headings
You need to pay careful attention to your selection of titles and headings, and the ‘hierarchy’
of: sub-headings (levels of headers) to ensure that your work is clearly structured and guides
your readers to understand the flow of content.
Table of Contents (ToCs)

You will need to work out the sequence and level of generality (hierarchy). You will also need
to decide not only the type of structure, i.e., Type 1, Type 2, Type 3, or a hybrid combination
that
1. best matches the content and process of your research, and Think about point 1, check
other thesis in your field, and
2. is appropriate or acceptable in your field.
discuss with your supervisor.
Now read the ToCs of a sample thesis given to you and see if you can
make sense of the sequence and organization. What are the
linguistic hints which help to make a logical link?
Text Analysis

Apart from the ToCs, there are various places in a thesis where you might find signposting. If
you pick up a thesis and read only these parts, you should get a good idea of its content. The
following is a checklist.
Titles of chapters Do the chapter titles help you understand how the thesis
is organized? Do they show the functions of the chapters
(e.g. introduction, literature review)? Do they accurately
describe the content?
Titles of sections Are the chapters divided into sections with sub-headings?
within chapters Is a numbering system used? Are the levels of the sub-
headings clearly distinguishable? Do the sub-headings
help you to see how the chapter is organized?
Introductory Does each chapter begin with a paragraph explaining the

paragraph(s) at the purpose of the chapter and its organization? Are
start of a chapter references made to the previous or later chapters? Are
references made to numbered sections within the
chapter?
Introductory Does each major section begin with a paragraph

paragraph at the explaining its purpose and organization (including sub-
start of a section sections)?
Topic sentences of Does each paragraph begin with a topic sentence that
paragraphs indicates the content of the paragraph?
Chapter/section Does each chapter end with a summary of the content of

summaries the chapter? Does a long section end with a section
summary?
Reminder
Look for a good sample thesis and
bring it with you to the rest of the course.

Unit 2 Writing the Introduction Chapter
This unit aims to introduce you to the four steps typically found in the introduction
of a thesis. A similar progression can be found in both a thesis and a research article.
Learning Outcomes

 identify and explain the four steps in developing the research theme
 claim the centrality or significance of your research within your field; and
 deploy appropriate linguistic resources to present an effective introduction in a
research article or thesis
Writing an Effective Introduction
Spend 10 minutes skimming through the introduction chapter of a

science thesis. Then discuss with your classmates how the
introduction is structured, i.e., what kind of information is included
in a thesis introduction.
Warm-Up
Discussion
Can you guess what the section headings are?

1.1
1.2
1.3
1.4

Four Steps in the Introduction Chapter
An introduction takes an important role as a guide or a signpost.
Your reader is like a traveler, potentially interested but one that needs to be drawn in and
shown why he/she should stay and listen. It must draw the readers in, and then show the
direction for the remainder of the thesis.
You need to introduce your theme in a clear and effective manner. Besides a bit of background,
you need to tell the reader what others think about it, convince him/her that you have
something important to say, and then indicate how you will proceed.
There are four steps in identifying a research theme:
Step 1 Identify a research area [State of knowledge]

Step 2 Review current knowledge on a topic [Literature survey]
Step 3 Point out the importance of knowing more about that topic
AND/OR a gap in current knowledge [Problem definition]
Step 4 Outline the topic and subtopics in your dissertation [Preview]
To guide readers in reading your dissertation, you will have to retrace for them the four steps
you took in identifying your research theme in the introduction of your dissertation. Then
they can understand your writing better.
Identify the four steps in the introduction to an article on

Cretaceous paleoclimate simulation shown on the next page.
Text Analysis

Cretaceous is an example of “greenhouse climate” research[1,2]. The study of its
characteristic, environmental, and biological effect may provide evidences for the potential
“greenhouse climate,” which may be caused by human activities. Studies of paleoclimate
approach the problem in two ways[3]. One is to map the paleoclimatic patterns, which is a
natural way for geologists to think about climate. The other is to document the climatic
changes through time with the method of climate modeling. The distribution of geological
records is discrete and uneven; as a result, the climate reconstruction cannot be the only reply
to geological records. Thereby, modeling has become an important complement. China is the
biggest part of East Asia, and its climate condition is an important circle in Cretaceous Earth
surface system. Climate research on mainland of China will play an important role in studying
of Cretaceous Earth system science and formation mechanism of extreme greenhouse climate.
In current research, almost all works were concentrated on special deposit, such as clay
minerals[4,5], gypsum[6], desert[7–9], glacial debris flow[10], and ice rafting deposit[11].
But these research studies cannot provide high-resolution evidence for paleoclimate
reconstruction. Especially, continental basins are absolute and quantificational proxies for
climate research are absent, which make paleoclimate reconstruction difficult[12]. As a
result, paleoclimate modeling study becomes a key mean for the Cretaceous continental
climate reconstruction. Paleoclimate modeling study has been widely used in Cretaceous
atmosphere and ocean circle[13]. These former research studies have made the concept of
long-term stability and equability of the Cretaceous greenhouse climate, which is giving way
to the recognition of much greater variability of the global climate on both short and long time
scales. But the same work in China is just beginning. Palaeogeography and paleotopography
are two of the most important boundary conditions in paleoclimate modeling study. They can
be reconstructed by sedimentary records. Sedimentary records not only provide the
information of sedimentary location but also contain information about paleotopography and
sedimentary environment.
On the basis of the wildly grown Cretaceous deposition and former studies, the author wants
to provide boundary conditions about palaeogeography and paleotopography for the
Cretaceous paleoclimate modeling study on mainland of China in this study. The significance
of comparison and validation between the sedimentary records and modeling results is also
discussed.
Source: Cao, K., & Wang, M. (2009). Constraints of sedimentary records on Cretaceous paleoclimate
simulation in China mainland. Earth Science Frontier, 16(5), 29-36.

The introduction to a 2004 research article entitled, “Measuring
social impacts of breast carcinoma treatment in Chinese
women: The Chinese Social Adjustment Scale”, provides an
example of how the four steps may appear.
Text Analysis
 Can you identify the four steps (not necessarily in the order
listed above)?
 Consider the language used in referring to previous studies.
Studies of Western women have indicated that extensive social problems arise following
treatment for breast carcinoma (BC),[1-4] although some reports suggest that women
receiving treatment for BC benefit from added social support [5] or from improved
interpersonal relationships [6]. According to the literature, non-Caucasian women may
encounter additional social problems after treatment for BC. [3][7][8]. For example, African-
American women experience particular difficulty in resuming social functioning [7], while
Hispanic women report more social concerns and disruptions than do Caucasian or African-
American women [3]. To date, to our knowledge, few studies of the social impact of BC have
examined Chinese women. Searches of the MEDLINE
(http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/PubMed) and PsycLIT [9] databases using the terms breast
cancer and Chinese together with social adjustment, social morbidity, social difficulties, or
social functioning failed to identify even one study. Several studies have examined cohorts of
Asian women, typically in a North American setting; such studies have identified differences
between Asian and Caucasian women, but these differences were not specifically related to
social functioning. For example, Kagawa-Singer et al. [10] have reported that Asian-American
women receive breast-conserving treatment (BCT) and adjuvant therapy less often than do
Caucasian-American women.
Issues related to body image and/or sexuality are known to be long-term effects of BC
treatment, with younger women being affected more significantly than older women [2][3].
Fung et al.[11] reported that body image concerns were more common among Hong Kong
Chinese women who did not undergo transverse rectus abdominus myocutaneous flap breast
reconstruction immediately following mastectomy compared with women who did; women
who elected to receive BCT were the least likely to have such concerns. Nonetheless, other

social changes were not investigated in that small female cohort. In other studies, cancer-
related social dysfunction has been assessed using generic quality of life scales. These scales
tend to include questions addressing a broad range of issues, but only in the most general
terms. For example, the Chinese version of the Functional Assessment of Cancer Treatment
(FACT-G [Ch]) scale contains a total of seven questions addressing social/family issues - three
questions dealing with family, two questions dealing with friends and neighbors, and two
questions dealing with intimacy. The FACT-G (Ch) scale, however, does not include questions
addressing professional relationships, public image, social activity, social discomfort, or social
contentment [12].
In a previous qualitative study of Hong Kong Chinese women who had recently been treated
for BC, significant social concerns and difficulties were identified [13]. In particular, there was
great anxiety regarding the visible signs of treatment. Hong Kong Chinese culture is
collectivist, in that the individual's needs typically are subordinate to those of the family or
group. Consequently, conformity and normality are important to the maintenance of social
harmony, a dominant goal in Chinese communities. Patients with cancer avoid being
identified as such for fear of stigmatization and of having their ‘normal’ status invalidated by
others (concerned and caring individuals or hostile individuals), resulting in social exclusion
and further invalidation. Consequently, many women whom we interviewed hid themselves
and their diagnoses from others, remaining housebound during and after treatment. This
behavior conflicted with the women's desire to resume normal life as rapidly as possible [13].
In this regard, Hong Kong Chinese women may differ from North American Caucasian women,
who tend to be more individualistic and often seek support through extensive social networks
[5][6].
Given the importance of social aspects of life in collectivist cultures, we sought to identify
existing instruments that would assess social declines resulting from BC and its treatment in
Hong Kong Chinese women. A literature search did not uncover any instruments that
specifically addressed these types of social problems. In the current study, we set out to
develop a scale for assessing domains of social experience affected by BC and its treatment
and to thereby better identify the specific social problems faced by women with BC
Source: Fielding, R., & Lam, W. W. T. (2004). Measuring social impacts of breast carcinoma treatment
in Chinese women. Cancer, 100(12), 2500-2511.

Language Features in the Introduction
Step 1: Identifying the Research Area

Centrality statements are popular ways to begin RA/thesis Introductions because they may
help you to ‘establish the general territory’ of your topic. A centrality statement basically
makes a general claim that some topic area is of central interest or importance in a field, or
sometimes in the world at large. These claims are often:
 Characterized by the use of evaluative adjectives of importance and centrality: e.g.
 Referring to benefits or impact which are well-known, and a growing awareness of a

problem: e.g.
 Currency (i.e. the interest is current or work in the field is ongoing): e.g.
 Stated in either the present simple/present perfect verb tense - a common verb
tense for expressing timeless generalizations
The following are extracts of introductions in which writers claim centrality for their research.
Look at these extracts and, working with a partner, try to work out what the bases are for
claiming centrality.
1. Recently, there has been a spate of interest in how to …

2. In recent years, applied researchers have become increasingly interested in …
3. The possibility ... has generated interest in ...

4. Recently, there has been a wide interest in ...
5. The time development ... is a classic problem in fluid mechanics…
6. The explication of the relationship between ... is a classic problem of …
7. The well-known ... phenomena ... have been favourite topics for analysis both in …
8. Knowledge of ... has a great importance for …

9. The study of ... has become an important aspect of …
10. The theory that ... has led to the hope that …
11. The effect of ... has been studied extensively in recent years.
12. Many investigators have recently turned to …
13. The relationship between ... has been studied by many authors.

Come up with two centrality statements for your own thesis topic.
Step 2: Reviewing Current Knowledge on a Topic

Sometimes this step is embedded in Step 1. Part of the purpose of the ‘establishing the
territory’ step is to show that others in the field are also interested in and working on the
same topic - that it is a topic worth researching in your field - and the best way to show this
is to cite past literature.
Example: Mechanical Engineering

The J-integral is an important parameter in evaluations of the fatigue and fracture
performance of structures, and in many applications residual stresses play a significant role
in these phenomena [centrality statement with no citation]. In welded structures, fatigue and
subsequent fracture typically initiate at geometrical discontinuities created by welding, and
welding gives rise to substantial levels of residual stress [1]. High-strength aluminium alloys
in aerospace structures typically contain high levels of residual stress due to quenching, and
these have been shown to influence fatigue and fracture behavior [2]. Further, surface
treatments that intentionally impose compressive residual stress are often applied to
increase safety margins or extend the duty cycle of critical components [3].
Source: Meith, W. A., & Hill, M. R. (2002). Domain-independent values of the J-integral for cracks in three-
dimensional residual stress bearing bodies. Engineering Fracture Mechanics, 69(12), 1301-1314.
Example: Nutritional Science

It is unsurprising that food security measurement has come to center instead on the creation,
validation, and use of more direct, experience-based scales. These scales are the most
meaningful conceptualization of hunger to date, moderating both overly general measures of
gross caloric availability and utilization-based indicators restricted to purely physical
sequelae. Food insecurity is more than the amount of food in the surrounding environment
or the degree to which food is processed to support nutrition. It is an embodied, physical
reality, a process of negotiation, and an affective state as evidenced by the predictive validity
of experience-based scales with respect to both anthropometry and mental health—
particularly anxiety and depression (Whitaker, Philips and Orzols 2006; Hadley and Patil
2008; Weaver and Hadley 2009).
Source: Cooper, E. E. (2013). Evaluating household food insecurity: Applications and insights from rural
Malaysia. Ecology of Food and Nutrition, 52(4), 294-316.

Step 3: Point out the importance of knowing more about that topic AND/OR a gap in
current knowledge
 The importance of one’s research can be indicated by a reference to a particular problem
or the limitation(s) of existing research.
 To do so, gap or problem statements, which are very common in RA/theses across topics
and fields, are often used. They often include negative words and expressions such as little
research, few studies, no work, or words beginning with in- (e.g., incomplete, insufficient).
 A second important feature that frequently occurs in gap statements is the contrastive
signal word - e.g., However, While, Although. These words introduce contrasts or problems
in relation to the part of the thesis chapter which has preceded them.
 A third common feature of gap statements is that they often occur at the beginnings of
new paragraphs
Example: Pathology
Although some studies were conducted to evaluate the role of the common swift as a
bioindicator of persistent organic microcontaminants, there are no studies on detection of
zoonotic agents in this avian species.
Source: Borrelli, L., Fioretti, A., Russo, T. P., Barco, L. Raia, P., Lossa, L. M. D. L.,... Dipineto, L. (2013). First report of
Salmonella enterica serovar infantis in common swifts (Apus apus). Avian Pathology, 42(4), 324-326.
Example: Chemistry
Reactivity studies of these even-numbered cluster (Zhang et al., 1986) using a fast flow
reactor made it possible to suggest that all these even-numbered carbon clusters exist in the
form of hollow closed structures, that is fullerenes. Nevertheless, a question arises: Is it
possible to observe carbon particles with n > 150-200?
Source: Agafonov, G. L., Nullmeier, M., Vlasov, P. A., Warnatz, J., & Zaslonko, I. S. (2002). Kinetic modeling of solid
carbon particle formation and thermal decomposition during carbon suboxide pyrolysis behind shock waves.
Combustion Science and Technology, 174(5-6), 185-213.
Another way to introduce Step 3 is by showing how a current research tradition, approach, or
methodology can be continued or extended. This is sometimes a research tradition that the
researcher himself/herself or his/her colleagues have developed, as is common in science
and engineering laboratories.

Example: Chemistry
…However, it is important to remark that despite the success of this simple model in ordering
the molecules by hardness, this approximation does not provide correct estimates of global
hardness… The goal of this paper is to continue the work of our previous study on 18 neutral
Lewis bases [40] and to show that Eq. (17) can provide…
Source: Torrent-Sucarrat, M., Luis, J M., Duran, M., & Sola, M. (2005). An assessment of a simple hardness kernel
approximation for the calculation of the global hardness in a series of Lewis acids and bases. Journal of Molecular
Structure, 727, 139-148.
Step 4: Outline the topics and sub-topics in your dissertation

 The use of a restricted set of verbs as the initial verbs in Step 4. The following list is partial
but all of these verbs occur frequently in Step 4 across fields and disciplines:
reports studies
develops aims to
describes explores
introduces focuses
 Linking words (e.g. ‘first’/’firstly’ and ‘finally’) are often used to describe the structure of
a thesis.
Example: Family Medicine

Two studies were conducted in Hong Kong in order to establish the epidemiology of Sub-
health and the relationship between SH and HRQOL. The first study was to develop and
validate a short Sub-health questionnaire (SHQ) for classifying people into Health, SH &
Disease. The second was a longitudinal study on Chinese adults recruited from a general
population survey to collect data to evaluate the validity and psychometric property of SHQ,
to determine the epidemiology SH, and to explore the relationship between HRQOL of SH. The
detailed research methodologies of the studies are presented in Chapters 3 to 7.
Source: Huang, W. W. (2013). Sub-health and health related quality of life. Unpublished PhD thesis. The University
of Hong Kong.

Analyze the structure and language of the introduction chapter of
the sample thesis you have chosen. Compare your answer with a
classmate’s to see if there are any similarities and differences.
Text Analysis
Last class, you were asked to write about your research focus to a
reader who is not an expert in your field. Now, write a short paragraph
(about 100 words) explaining the significance of your chosen topic.
Writing Task The paragraph should be written for a group of experts in your field.
You may want to draw on the language features discussed in today’s
class and use appropriate style and technical language. Refer to
current literature on your topic if necessary.

Unit 3 Writing the Literature Review Chapter
This unit aims to introduce you to the techniques needed for reviewing critically the
literature in terms of reading and preparing the literature review.
Learning Outcomes

 identify and apply strategies in reading, organizing, summarizing and critiquing
the literature; and
 deploy appropriate linguistic resources to present your stance in the literature
review
Reading Research Papers
Tell the one sitting next to you how you last read a research paper.
The followings are some guided questions:
 How did you find that article? Online search?
Recommended by your supervisor?
Warm-Up  Why did you read that article?
Discussion  Did you read from the abstract till the end in a linear
fashion? Did you read the reference list?
 Did you highlight things/take notes? If yes, how? If no,
why not?
 What did you do after you finished reading that article?

Steps in preparing to write your literature review
Steps Some useful strategies
Locate  Identify key authors and journals. Find state of the art articles.
relevant  Use Google Scholar (and other computer searches).
literature  Login in to the University portal, go to the Library for your online
search for better access.
 Arrange for an ALERT so that the Table of Contents of new issues of
your favorite journals are sent directly to you via email.
 Scan Tables of Contents from key journals, books and e-books.
 Check reference lists from articles, books and chapters. (And follow
links.)
 Read primary sources. (Avoid the popular press and check
acceptability of other web sources with your supervisor.)
Read critically  Identify relevant themes in the literature.

 Identify strengths and weaknesses of individual articles.
 Collect copies (hard or soft) of articles. Highlight and annotate.
 Get started on a systematic means of BRIEF note-taking as soon as
possible.
 Check out Endnote or other program to see if it would be useful for
you.
Prepare to  Investigate expected length and format of the literature review.

write  Make a preliminary outline.
 Organize the literature you will cover.
 Limit the scope of the review to the topic at hand.
Source: Cone, J. D., & Foster, S. L. (1993). Dissertations and theses: From start to finish. Washington, DC:
American Psychological Association.
Are you aware of any software packages which can help you manage
your literature?

Purpose of a Literature Review
General Purpose of Reviewing the Literature

Postgraduate researchers often have to defend themselves against three major challenges
that can be summed up by these questions:
1. Is your research original?
2. Is your research worthwhile?
3. How does your research relate to important issues or problems in your field?
The concept of a literature review is closely related to these questions. It is through your
review of literature (which may or may not be contained in a chapter called “Literature
review”), that you can show the sense in which your research is both original and worthwhile.
1. Showing that your research is original

Originality in postgraduate research can mean one of several things:
 It addresses questions that have not been asked before
 It addresses questions that have been asked before, but have not been adequately
answered
 It addresses old questions from a new theoretical perspective, method, or in the
light of new information
 It addresses old questions in a new context
 It applies earlier research findings in a new way
2. Showing that your research is worthwhile

One possible problem with original research is that there may be a very good reason why
nobody has attempted it before. The issues involved may be trivial, the questions may be
unanswerable or the method proposed impractical. You therefore need to show that your
research is worthwhile, in the sense that it can make a significant or valuable contribution
to knowledge.
3. Proving that you are an expert

Examiners of theses play a gatekeeping role in the human quest for new knowledge. As
such, when reviewing a thesis, they tend to check if:
 There is a theoretical basis for the study and whether it, in turn, contributes to
theory in some way, however small
 The candidate is familiar with important specific studies to date
 The research design, data collection and analysis procedures adopted by the
candidate are sound

 The findings can benefit the lives of ordinary people or their environment in some
way, potentially and immediately
 To persuade examiners or other reviewers that your work does meet the high
standards for new knowledge, you will have to enlist the support from the
research community in your field by citing the work of other researchers at every
stage of your study.
Since a literature review aims to present the reader with an overview of what we do know
and what we need to know – the research space, your review needs to be critical. You should
not simply summarize in detail the various pieces of literature you have read - e.g. by simply
reporting the methods used, the dependent variable and the findings.
General Functions of the Literature Review

With the above purpose, the literature review should achieve the following functions:
 Clarify and identify the central focus of your thesis
 Demonstrate familiarity with the field in order to establish your membership of a
particular academic community
 Evaluate/analyse other researchers by showing your support for another
researcher’s work or refuting someone else’s claims about his/her findings
 Lead directly to your research space
 Acknowledge the work and ideas of others in order not to be accused of plagiarism.
These functions correspond to the different moves in a literature review, as shown on the next
page.

Above all, highlight what you think is worthy of our attention
Structure and Function of a Literature Review
Purpose of a Literature Review
х axis = dimension of generality [broad vs narrow]
GENERAL
INTRODUCTION
Identify problem area & state importance
Establish (significance of) your broad field of interest
Identify key problems, the research context & your broad aims
Review relevant research literature
Select and discuss relevant theory, studies & methods
[Avoid giving mini-lecture on theories, etc.]
Cover only those topics & aspects relevant to your study
Identify a gap or `research space’
This is where you show the need for your own study
The reader needs for the specific topic/problem you want to research
State precise research aim & questions- fill the “gap”
to see your State exactly what you hope to resolve/study
research Qs Set research questions/ Establish hypotheses
[optional: Indicate your choice of approach/method/population]
emerging from
your reading
SPECIFIC METHODS
Like all academic writing, a literature review must have an introduction, body, and conclusion.
The introduction should include:

 the nature of the topic under discussion (the topic of your thesis)
 the parameters of the topic (what does the topic include and exclude?)
 the basis for your selection of the literature
The main body could include relevant paragraphs on:

 historical background, including classic texts
 current mainstream versus alternative theoretical or ideological viewpoints,
including differing theoretical assumptions, and competing interests
 possible approaches to the subject (empirical, philosophical, postmodernist, etc)
 definitions in use
 current areas of research focus
 current discoveries about the topic
 principal questions that are being asked
 general conclusions that are being drawn
 methodologies and methods in use
The conclusion should include:

 A summary of major agreements and disagreements in the literature
 A summary of general conclusions that are being drawn
 A summary of where your thesis sits in the literature (Remember! Your thesis could
become one of the future sources on the subject for later research students)
 A lead-in or link to the next chapter

Task: The text below is from a research article entitled “Analytical Approach to
Predicting Temperature Fields in Multilayered Pavement Systems” 4 and it shows
extracts from the first seven paragraphs of the article. Can you identify the functions
of the seven bolded and underlined passages by linking them with the given functions
in the following table?
Function Text
identify a classic text
define a key concept (in this case the basic components of a model)
identify two major models used by other researchers to examine the topic
offer a concise review on relevant literature in chronological order
state and justify the research approach
Highlight the significance of the research topic
discuss weaknesses of previous research
Introduction
It is well known that temperature variation in pavement layers plays an important role in the
performance of both flexible and rigid pavement systems (Huang 2004). In flexible pavement systems,
the surface layer is usually made of hot-mix asphalt (HMA), which is a viscoelastic material and its
behavior is highly related to its temperature, i.e., HMA responds like an elastic solid under low
temperature and strain conditions; on the other hand, it also acts as a viscous material at high
temperature in the sense that the deformation due to traffic loading cannot be fully recovered within a
finite time period under the unloading condition (Tschoegl 1989). (1) Therefore, an accurate
prediction of the temperature profile in the HMA layer is desired when selecting the asphalt
binder and predicting performance.
Many research efforts have been taken on developing different mathematical models to predict
temperature profile within a pavement system. (2) Most of the published results on this topic can
be fitted into statistics-based models or heat transfer models.
Statistics-Based Pavement Temperature Prediction Models

(3) The statistics-based regression formulas are usually developed based on large databases
of climatic, meteorological, and geographical factors, such as air temperature, wind speed, solar
radiation, and latitude, etc., as well as the measured field pavement temperatures. (4) Rumney
and Jimenez (1969) approximated temperature at the surface and at a 2-in. depth based on air
temperature and hourly solar radiation. Lukanen et al. (1998) predicted the 7-day average high
pavement temperature using the 7-day average high air temperature. More recently, Diefenderfer et
al. (2006) calculated the maximum and minimum temperature at any depth by using air temperature,
daily solar radiation, and depth within the pavement. Empirical formulas are usually applied to rapidly
4 Source: Wang, D., Roesler, J. R., & Guo, D. Z. (2009). Analytical approach to predicting temperature fields in
multilayered pavement systems. Journal of Engineering Mechanics, 135, 334–344.

predict certain extreme temperatures within a pavement system or a specific temperature at a given
pavement depth. (5) However, the disadvantage of these types of formulas is that they give
reasonable prediction for the input data included within the original sample database, but do
not guarantee the accuracy of prediction for the input data outside the original sample
database.
Heat Transfer Models

The existing heat transfer models that predict a pavement temperature profile are usually solved using
numerical methods, which typically consist of four steps. First, …… (the rest of the paragraph is
excluded because of space constraint).
(6) Dempsey and Thompson (1970) were among the first researchers to develop a numerical
simulation approach by using the 1D heat transfer model and an explicit finite-difference
method. Hsieh et al. (1989) proposed a three-dimensional numerical model to calculate the
temperature distribution within concrete pavement. Recently, Rasmussen et al. (2002) and Schindler
et al. (2004) proposed models to …… (text excluded because of space constraint).
Analytical Approaches
As far as analytical solution of temperature profiles through a multilayer pavement system is
concerned, very few results are available due to the complexity encountered in deriving the closed-
form analytical solution. Barber (1957) calculated the maximum pavement temperature from weather
reports for a one-layer system. Solaimanian and Kennedy (1993) proposed a simple analytical equation
to predict the maximum pavement surface temperature based on maximum air temperature and
hourly solar radiation. Liang and Niu (1998) derived a closed-form analytical solution of temperature
distribution in a three-layer system using a simplified boundary condition, which only involved the
convection of heat between the atmosphere and pavement surface but not any solar radiation effect.
The main hurdle associated with the numerical methods for predicting the pavement temperature field
is that the initial pavement temperature distribution (called initial condition) must be available in
order to calculate the temperature field for the later time, since a time-dependent PDE problem
essentially needs to be solved. However, the initial pavement temperature profile is typically not
available. (7) To remove this hurdle, a 2D axisymmetric approach for analytically predicting the
temperature field in an N-layered pavement system is proposed in this paper when the initial
pavement temperature profile is not known, which extends the analytical solution for a three-
layer pavement system by Liang and Niu (1998).

Language of the Literature Review
Reporting Verbs
Reporting verbs can, in general, be categorized into three groups, according to how you view
the cited materials as your choices often reveal your stance (attitude). Can you group the
following verbs into the appropriate category?
Speculate, indicate, reveal, study, demonstrate, note, negate, point out, report, observe, assume,
refute, take into consideration, examine, mention, postulate, deny, imply, support the view that,
establish, reject, challenge, counter the view/argument that, question the view that, corroborate
Function and strength Example verbs

Neutral: verbs used to say what the writer Describe, show, state, believe (unless this is
described in factual terms, demonstrates, a strong belief),
refers to, and discusses, and verbs used to
explain his/her methodology
Tentative: verbs used to say what the Suggest, intimate, hypothesise, moot,
writer suggests or speculates on (without propose, posit the view that,
being absolutely certain)
Strong: verbs used to say what the writer argue, claim, emphasise, contend, maintain,
makes strong arguments and claims for assert, theorise, strongly believe that,

Tense Use in Literature Review
Consider the following two sentences – which one is correct? Why?

 Becker (1997) reported that heart rate is a poor predictor of drug sensitivity in patients
taking NSAIDS.
 Becker (1997) reported that heart rate was a poor predictor of drug sensitivity in patients
taking NSAIDS.
There is really only one hard and fast rule concerning the tense used when citing sources:
“what was done or found in one particular experiment or observed as the result of one
particular study is reported in the simple past”
Example
Kemp (1992) found that his subjects responded poorly to the lecturing style of teaching.
Tense used for citing – General Tendencies

a. Use of the present perfect may indicate that the research referred to is recent, or is more
indicative of the present state of knowledge than research referred to earlier.
Example
Although students in the past were primarily focused on strictly educational content,
most recent research has found v has concluded that in the classrooms of today,
students are more concerned about social issues than academic issues.
(N.B. The use of the verb “found” here is problematic with the present perfect, as it suggests
an experimental basis for a very broad generalisation – “concluded” is more appropriate as
it suggests as inference rather than a concrete “finding a fact”. )
b. Use of the present perfect is also common at the beginning of sections in the Literature
Review when there is no specific date or time you can be referring to. For instance, you are
referring to a whole area of research or sequences of studies, before moving on to use the
simple past to give specific examples in that particular area.
Example
Research in Singapore and Hong Kong has indicated that the use of computers in schools
has… One study (1999) found that…

c. Similarly, the use of the present perfect is also common when summarising an area of
research in the Literature Review – again covering the period “up to the present”. In
combination with the choice of verb (reveal), this can also indicate that the writer favours
that idea or theory.
Example
These studies have revealed that there is a gap in the research about…
d. When referring to someone’s views, position or argument, the use of the simple present
is most common – especially when comparing positions in a controversy or debate, and
when this debate is still being conducted in current journals.
Example
XX claims that a, b, c while YY argues that d, e, f…
e. The simple present tense is often used when referring to work written a long time ago –
but then this indicates that the work is so influential on current thinking that it is OK to
treat this ideas as “current”. Similarly, we can use the past tense to describe the views of
famous contemporary source, if those views have already been successfully challenged and
superseded – or if that writer has since changed position
Example
Dewey’s philosophy of education is that an experienced based curriculum promotes more
effective learning and a greater competence in living.
f. As mentioned above, the simple past is used to refer to the findings of a past study; if,
however, you want to indicate that those findings resulted in conclusions (e.g. about
human behaviour) that you think (or know) remain valid or influential today, then you
can go quickly on to suggest what these findings “tend” to show or indicate. If there are
several studies you can rely on, so much the better.
Example
Studies have indicated that the environment is critically important in determining the
structure of successful organisations. Brown (1984) for example identified three key
dimensions in the development of an organisation: capacity, volatility, and complexity.
Such studies tend to show that the more dynamic and complex the environment, the
more mechanistic the structure will be.

Task: Compare the sample sentences in the boxes below. For each sample sentence, discuss
what you think the reasons are for the writer’s choice of verb and of tense and what these
choices tell the reader about the writer’s stance towards the research reported.
1a. Kemp (1992) found that children under the age of 2 were unaffected by the separation
of their parents.
1b. Kemp (1992) found/concluded* that children under the age of 2 are unaffected by the
separation of their parents. (*Which verb do you think more appropriate here?)
2a. Fielding (1994, 1999) has found that even children of 8 months old are disturbed by
such an event.
2b. Fielding (1994) has suggested that even children of 8 months old can be disturbed by
such an event.
3a. Graham (1991) suggested that television viewing of more than three hours per night
adversely affects marital relations.
3b. Graham (1991) established that television viewing of more than three hours per night
adversely affects marital relations.
4a. Jackson (1992) proposed that the teaching of vocabulary lists prior to the
introduction of a reading text would increase pupils’ retention of information from that
text.
4b. Jackson (1992) argues convincingly that the teaching of vocabulary lists prior to the
introduction of a reading text increases pupils’ retention of information from that text.
4c. Jackson (1992) attempted to show that the teaching of vocabulary lists prior to the
introduction of a reading text increases pupils’ retention of information from that text.

Choosing the appropriate time expressions and tenses
Task: Apply what you have learnt to the following Article Introduction, selecting between the
present perfect, simple present and simple past tenses.
Within the last 15 years, much of the research conducted in the field of reading
comprehension _____________________ (concentrate) on the knowledge and control of reading
strategies. For example, Anderson (1980) _____________________ (report) that readers may use
strategies without actually being aware that they are doing so, especially if the material is not
very difficult. In earlier work, Paris, Lipson, and Wixson (1983) insisted (insist) that
“[s]trategic behavior connotes intentionally and purpose on the part of the learner” (p.294).
Building on this work, Baker and Brown (1984) _____________________ (identify) two groups of
cognitive processes in reading, related to (a) knowledge about cognition and (b) regulation of
cognition.
Although some researchers _____________________ (predict) that one difference between good
readers and poor readers was in their knowledge of reading strategies (Paris & Myers, 1981),
more recent studies comparing readers’ knowledge of strategies _____________________
(suggest) that there are developmental changes in the relation between reading ability and
the ability to verbalize strategy knowledge. Zabrucky and Ratner (1989) _____________________
(show) that, while younger readers _____________________ (appear) to detect comprehension
problems when they are reading, they _____________________ (be) unable to verbalize their
difficulty when interviewed later.
Source: Kletzien S. B. (1991). Strategy use by good and poor comprehenders reading expository text of differing
levels. Reading Research Quarterly, 26(1), 67-86.
Sample Literature Review

 Which of the following Objectives below do you see emerging from
the Literature Review?
 Can you see a “narrowing” of focus in this Literature Review? If
so, in what way? e.g. Does it achieve “closure” in any way?
Text Analysis
Objectives
1.
2. To describe the acoustic features of key phonetic features (i.e. those

which have been identified as being important to speech
intelligibility) for both normal and dysarthric Cantonese speakers.

The most widely used method for assessing speech intelligibility has been interval scaling, where
listeners assign a rating to a speech sample on an equal-appearing interval scale. One well-known
example is the landmark study of Darley, Aronson and Brown (1975). However, recent work by
Schiavetti and his colleagues (Schiavetti, Metz & Sitler, 1981) indicated validity problems with this
procedure. Direct magnitude estimation is another scaling procedure. Here, listeners assign a number
to a speech sample. The number represents the ratio of each sample heard to a standard or module,
with no fixed end points provided (See Schiavetti, 1992 for a detailed review). This procedure is
reliable but can be impractical to administer, particularly in a clinical setting (Kent et al., 1989).
A second general method of assessing intelligibility is identification tasks, where listeners hear a
speech sample and write down or select what they have heard. Identification tasks have been used
extensively in work with the hearing impaired (see Weismer & Kent, 1992, for a review) but have been
less popular in work with speech disorders. Identification tasks using longer speech samples such as
conversational speech or reading passages have an important face validity but may be difficult for
severely affected patients to produce, and are not easily quantified. Single word identification tasks
have the advantages of reliability, quantifiability, ease of administration, and allowing phonetic error
analysis (Kent et al., 1989). Several studies have reported good correlations between single word and
sentence measures (see, for example, Kennedy, Pring & Fawcus, 1993, for a discussion). Chan (1993)
found no significant differences between articulation in single words and connected speech in
Cantonese-speaking phonologically disordered children.
Relatively few identification tests have been developed specifically for the assessment of intelligibility
in dysarthric speakers. Kent et al. (1989) review the available tests, pointing out that, while the tests
provide an index or estimate of severity, they do not provide any explanation or interpretation of the
speech problem.
Recent work by Kent and his colleagues has focused on the development of "explanatory" tests of
intelligibility (See, for example, Kent et al., 1989; Weismer & Martin, 1992). Through the addition of
phonetic and acoustic analyses to traditional perceptual measures, they have begun to explore
specifically which phonetic, acoustic and even physiological features may be contributing to reductions
in intelligibility for a given speech disorder. Such explanations can be useful for individual patients as
well as in understanding intelligibility deficits for a type of disorder. For example, in their study of a
group of men with amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (ALS), Kent et al. (1990) found that two factors (stop-
nasal contrast and glottal-null contrast) were the most affected for this group. Use of this approach in
languages other than English has been scant. Ziegler and colleagues have reported work with German-
speaking dysarthrics (for example, Ziegler, Hartmann & von Cramon, 1998).
Since Cantonese is a lexical tonal language (that is, a change in tone alone can change meaning), we can
expect that tone will play a significant role in intelligibility in Cantonese. The role of tone in
intelligibility in Cantonese dysarthrics has not been studied. However, several studies have
investigated the perception and production of tone in normal and other disordered populations. Yiu
(1989) reported on tone comprehension in a group of Cantonese aphasics. Fok (1984; 1987) studied
tone in Cantonese hearing-impaired speakers. So and Varely (1991) developed a test for lexical
comprehension in Cantonese which includes tone comprehension. Gandour and colleagues have
reported on the production and perception of lexical tone in Thai, particularly in aphasics (Gandour et
al., 1992; Gandour & Dardarananda, 1983).
There are other aspects of the Cantonese phonological system which distinguish it from English, for
example, unreleased final stops, aspirated vs. unaspirated stops. The role of these features in the speech
intelligibility of dysarthria and other speech disorders needs investigation. The unique features of
Cantonese as a language make it imperative that tests and databases be developed specifically for the
Cantonese-speaking population.

Reviewing the Literature: Some advice
1. Select the theoretical work and reports of studies most relevant to your project;
remember to review methodologies as well as theory and empirical studies
2. Avoid series of unrelated summaries of recent research (mini-lectures!)
3. Accept conflict: seek out and acknowledge conflicting studies

Don’t fail to notice them or ignore them
4. Create your research space for the reader

Identify the gap: are you replicating or extending recent work – or challenging it?
5. Use references sparingly (carefully!) – either theoretical or empirical studies
6. Structure your literature review according to some topic-category or logic – e.g.

chronology, hierarchy of importance, etc
7. Provide closure and integrity: ask 2 questions

(a) How does it all relate to my research questions (RQs)/hypothesis?
(b) Have I demonstrated
- how it all relates to my RQs/hypothesis?
- how many RQs evolved out of that reading and reflection?
8. Review stage: consider how the Literature Review fits into the overall Introduction, or
in a dissertation, ensures the Introduction matches the scope of the Literature Review

Based on the paragraph about the significance of your research topic
which you wrote last class, identify one research gap and write 2-3
paragraphs to review the relevant literature that leads to the research
Writing Task gap.
Reminder
Submit the 1st draft of the Literature Review by
__________________________
_

Unit 4 Citation, Referencing and Paraphrasing
This unit aims to introduce you to the techniques needed for avoiding plagiarism:
citation, referencing and paraphrasing.
Learning Outcomes

 acknowledge sources appropriately; and
 deploy appropriate strategies to avoid plagiarism
Academic Attribution
Citation is central to the social context of persuasion as it can provide justification for
argument and demonstrate the novelty of one’s position. By acknowledging a debt of
precedent, a writer is also able to display an allegiance to a particular community or
orientation, create a rhetorical gap for his/her research, and establish a credible writer ethos5.
Why do you need to cite?
 To demonstrate you are familiar with the work in your field (and indeed hardworking!)
 Incorporate other people’s work to justify your arguments and make your work credible
(instead of saying “I think….”)
 Attribute our research space to the studies conducted by other researchers (and thus
demonstrating the originality of your study)
 Avoid plagiarism
What does plagiarism mean?
 Plagiarism means making use of other peoples’ words or ideas without acknowledgment
(as though they are your own)
 Plagiarism applies to copying word for word but also following too closely while re-
writing in your own words (even if source is cited)
 Plagiarism applies to all kinds of information including facts as well as opinions if they
are taken from somebody’s work
 Plagiarism applies to books, magazines, newspapers, lecturer’s notes, TV programmes,
web sites, or any other sources including students’ work.
5 Hyland, K. (2004). Disciplinary interactions: metadiscourse in L2 postgraduate writing. Journal of Second Language
Writing, 13(2), 133-151.

Ways to Avoid Plagiarism
 Direct Quotation
o Short Quote
o Long Quote (Block Quote)
 Indirect Quotation
o Paraphrasing
Direct Quotation – often discouraged in the Sciences

When do we need direct quotations?
 Writers quote resources rather than paraphrase them when the original wording is
particularly useful or interesting
 Want the reader to know exactly what another writer has written
Short quote - words / phrases of the original source particularly striking / interesting
In-text citation: Author’s surname + year of publication + page number + double quotation
mark OR Reference number + page number (with full information in the reference list)
Examples
The survey of corporate senior marketing managers produced findings suggesting that
“clients should be responsible for the strategic direction and planning, which are the
foundation of integrated communications programs” (Low, 2000, p.36).
The survey of corporate senior marketing managers produced findings suggesting that
“clients should be responsible for the strategic direction and planning, which are the
foundation of integrated communications programs”1, p36.
Long quote - whole definition, theory, or model

In-text citation: Author’s surname + year of publication + page number + indentation OR
Reference number
Coherence
When quoting, be careful with the amount of quotations and make sure to
situate/contextualize the quotations within your own writing. Lessons to learn are:
 Do not overuse quotes – a lot of quotes may confuse the readers and interrupt the
flow of your writing
 Contextualize quotes – show the relevance of the quotes to the argument you are
constructing
Example
Motivation is very important in an organization.

Motivation is defined as the willingness to exert high levels of effort to reach
organizational goals. As HRM professionals we should persuade employers to exert
high levels of effort to provide appropriate motivation (Cunningham 1997, p192).
Let us have a look at how Herzberg’s theory works in my organization in the view of (a)
achievement and (b) recognition.

Indirect Quotation – Paraphrasing
Why paraphrase?
 When you paraphrase you communicate your source’s ideas by using your own words.
A paraphrase is a summary and restatement of someone else’s ideas in your words. It
is obviously more difficult to paraphrase than it is to quote, but there are a number of
advantages to be gained from making the extra effort.
Advantages
 It shows that you have really understood what the author is saying.
 Your paper will gain in quality and become more scholarly.
 Instead of looking like a string of quotes which rely on other people’s words, your
paper will show that you are able to select and smoothly integrate key definitions,
theories, models, ideas or research findings into your paper, in your own words.
Disadvantages
 It is a difficult skill to learn, especially for those who are working in a second language.
 It takes a lot of practice to be able to restate or summarise someone else’s words or
ideas without changing the sense of meaning of the original.
Points to be taken into account:

a) Semantics + Collocation
 Words which are listed as synonyms, or expressions equivalent to other words,
are not synonymous in all situation, e.g. show and claim
Consider the following pair of example and explain why the

paraphrase is not acceptable:
Original Sentence:
The results show that most patients described the patient
education they had received as sufficient, although some did
indicate they had not learned enough about the possible side
effects.
Paraphrase:
The data claim that most patients considered receiving adequate
patient education while some pointed out that they were not well-
informed of the potential side effects (Chan 2000).

Useful resources for checking synonyms:
 http://www.thesaurus.com
 http://www.lextutor.ca/
 MS Word  highlight the word you want to change Review  Thesaurus

[Proofing]
Useful resources for checking collocations:
 Corpora
 http://www.engl.polyu.edu.hk/Research_Resources.php
 Word Neighbors
 http://wordneighors.ust.hk
b) Grammar
 Check that the subject and verb of the sentence still agree in your restatement
of your sources’ ideas as well as ensuring that definite and indefinite articles
and prepositions are correctly chosen and placed.
E.g., reach and arrive
We reach a similar conclusion.
We arrive at a similar conclusion.

Exercise on Paraphrasing
Below is an original statement followed by four paraphrases. Decide which are

acceptable and which are unacceptable and give reasons for your decisions.
Original The results of the questionnaire suggest that the majority of the
public are ill-informed about the facts in the evolution-creation
debate. (from T.S. Chan’s article in 1996)
Acceptable / Paraphrases
Unacceptable
Reasons?
1 The questionnaire results suggest that most of public are ill-
informed about the facts in the evolution-creation debate.
2 The details of the questionnaire imply that the majority of the public
are ill-advised about the statistics in the evolution-creation contest
(Chan 1996).
3 The questionnaire shows that the public are not aware of the facts in
the evolution-creation debate (Chan 1996).
4 Findings from a questionnaire study indicate that many people are

not very knowledgeable about the facts of the evolution-creation
controversy (Chan 1996).
Reminders for effective paraphrasing

1. Refer to the author and year of publication or give reference number whenever you
paraphrase from a source.
2. Do not say ‘I think …’ or use other wording to imply that an idea that came from a specific
source is your own opinion. Do not claim the author’s idea as your own even if you
agree with the author.
3. Research and take notes carefully; do not misuse the sources.
4. Maintain the original meaning of the passage.
5. Keep the same tone (e.g. serious, humourous, sarcastic).
6. Do not add your own ideas, examples, details, or other forms of support as part of
a paraphrase.
7. Do not try to follow the original text word for word. Get the general idea and put it in
your own words. Put the sight out of sight! That may help prevent you from copying or
paraphrasing too closely. If you truly understand the text, you will have less trouble
paraphrasing than if you do not understand the text.

Paraphrase short quotations
Task: Paraphrase the following paragraph
Students frequently overuse direct quotation in taking notes, and as a result they overuse
quotation in the final research paper. Probably only about 10% of your final manuscript
should appear as directly quoted matter. Therefore, you should strive to limit the amount of
exact transcribing of source materials while taking notes.
Source: Lester, J. D. (1996). Writing research papers: A complete guide. (8th ed.). New York:
HarperCollins College Publishers.
Task: Paraphrase the following short science-related quotations. Pay attention to the
reporting verb you choose, verb tense, synonyms, etc. when paraphrasing.
Example
Original
“Cognitive performance declines with age.”
Source: Raz, N., Rodrigue, K. M., Kennedy, K. M., & Land, S. (2009). Genetic and vascular
modifiers of age-sensitive cognitive skills: Effects of COMT, BDNF, ApoE and hypertension.
Neuropsychology, 23(1), 105-116. (page 105)
Paraphrase
Old age adversely affects one’s cognition (Raz, Rodrigue, Kennedy & Land, 2009).

1. “Research and clinical care are frequently understood as separate activities, deriving from
very different motivations.”
Source: Hallowell, N., Cooke, S., Crawford, G., Parker, M., & Lucassen, A. (2009). Healthcare
professionals’ and researchers’ understanding of cancer genetics activities: A qualitative
interview study. Journal of Medical Ethics, 35, 113-119. (page 113)
2. “Lettuce may not be naturally contaminated via soil, especially in a more realistic
environment with nonhomogeneous soil contamination, such as a flood event or infected
animal excretion and populations lower than 104 CFU/g soil.”
Source: Barak, J. D., Liang, A., & Narm, K.-E. (2008). Differential attachment to and
subsequent contamination of agricultural crops by salmonella enteric. Applied and
Environmental Microbiology, 74(17), 5568-5570. (page 5569)
3. “Compared to subjects with rare consumption of bean-curd foods and vegetables,

individuals with frequent consumption have a lower risk of acute leukemia.”
Source: Liu, C.-y., Hsu, Y.-H., Wu, M.-T., Pan, P.-C., Ho, C.-K., Su, L.,… the Kaohsiung
Leukemia Research Group. (2009). Cured meat, vegetables, and bean-curd foods in
relation to childhood acute leukemia risk: A population based case-control study. BMC
Cancer, 9, 15. (page 15)
4. “As far as analytical solution to temperature profiles through a multilayer pavement

system is concerned, very few results are available due to the complexity encountered in
deriving the analytical solution”
Source: Wang, D., Roesler, J. R., & Guo, D. Z. (2009). Analytical approach to redicting
temperature fields in multilayered pavement systems. Journal of Engineering Mechanics,
135(4), 334-344. (page 335.)
Choose two research articles you have read recently and paraphrase
them. What will your paraphrases focus on (methods, results,
implications, etc.)? What tense(s) will you use in your paraphrases?
Writing Task Your paraphrase of each article should be less than 40 words.

Unit 5 Writing Research Hypotheses and
Writing the Methodology Chapter
This unit aims to introduce you to how research hypotheses or questions emerge from
the literature review and how to write up the methodology chapter
Learning Outcomes

 formulate clear and researchable questions or hypotheses; and
 deploy appropriate linguistic strategies to draft the methodology chapter
Research Questions/Hypotheses
Your research questions need to emerge from your readings (i.e., as displayed in the
Literature Review) and your readers need to be able to see this. The following is a checklist
to help you prepare readers for the research questions:
Bringing in the research question, hypothesis, etc

 Creating a gap/space/foundation + focusing the research
1. Negative (less negative – use a comparative statement)

 Few studies have focused on ...
 Previous research has been limited to X situation …
 Although considerable research has been devoted to X, rather less has been paid to
…
2. Raise a question, hypothesis or need
 However, it remains unclear whether …
 The findings suggest that X might be Y in Z situation …
 If these results could be confirmed, they would provide strong evidence for …
3. Extend previous knowledge
 The recent developments in X clearly have potential. In this chapter we
demonstrate …
 The literature shows that X is useful for Y. This study uses X to …
 [State a result of previous research with X approach/method, etc.] This research
utilizes the X approach to/for…

Task: Review your sample thesis by using the questions below:
What to look for? Your sample thesis

1. The research questions, hypothesis, aims or most
focused statement
2. Where is it located (which chapters, subsection?)
3. How has the writer prepared the reader for this?
(e.g. is the aim or purpose stated explicitly? Has
the writer created a research gap or another
means of focusing your attention?)
4. What structural links can you find between the
research questions and the remainder of the
thesis? Check methodology, results, discussions,
conclusion, etc.
Phrasing your Research Questions
“A research question is one which the research is designed to address (rather than, for
example, a question which an interviewer might ask an interviewee) and, taken together, your
research questions should express the essence of your enquiry”.6
Questions to consider when phrasing your research questions:
 Is it clearly formulated?
 Is it intellectually worthwhile?
 Is it researchable / operationalizable?
Can you identify the research question in the following sentence?
“This paper presents an initial exploration of the effect of parking

lot composition and layout on runoff temperature, which can allow
planners and engineering designers to better anticipate the
thermal impacts of development while incorporating measures to
reduce those impacts.”
6
Mason, J. (2002). Qualitative researching. London: SAGE. (page.19)

Source: Jones, M. P., Hunt, W. F., & Winston, R. J. (2012). Effect of urban catchment composition on
runoff temperature. Journal of Environmental Engineering, 12, 1231-1236. (page 1231-1232)
Stating Hypotheses
A research hypothesis states:

 a researcher’s expectations vis-à-vis the relationship between variables in the research
problem;
 the outcome of what a researcher thinks will be; and
 something that is testable.
 “the expected relationship (or difference) between two variables and defines those
variables in operational, measurable terms."7
The following table may help you formulate your hypothesis by seeing the connection among
variables:
Field/Topic Independent variable* Dependent variable Context or

- what is to be tested or - what is to be Situation
evaluated – the object measured – the means [optional]
Behavioural/ Intervention/Treatment Effect of indep. variable Target
Learning/ [new practices or ideas] (e.g. in behaviour) population
Disciplinary manipulated by researcher measured by Scores, etc. and/or context
area or the aspect of the topic to or how the aspect is [geographical/
be studied studied disciplinary,
etc.]
Quantitative & Longitudinal behavioural studies
English A new course teaching only Student performance – University
grammar English grammar measure changes in department/
no. of grammar errors English Centre
Qualitative and/or Quantitative & “snapshot” attitudinal/opinion-based studies
Medium of New report from Attitudes, perceptions of Tertiary & public
Instruction in CUHK Committee teachers/students population & context
H.K. on Bilingualism
universities
7
Gay, L. R. (1996). Education research: Competencies for analysis and application. Upper Saddle River, NJ: Merrill.
(page 62)

In each example, the independent variable is studied for any changes it causes in the dependent
variable.
* independent variable = what you expect to exert an influence e.g. the teaching method
on students’ language performance;
dependent variable = what you expect to be influenced – e.g. students’ test scores , the
outcome of your testing the effectiveness of the teaching method.8
Null and Alternative Hypotheses

When designing statistical tests for their studies, researchers often define both the null
hypothesis and the alternative hypothesis. In the example below, the alterative hypothesis
suggests that there is a change in the number of grammatical mistakes made by students
taking the new English course and by those having the old one. The null hypothesis states that
there is no difference between the two groups of students.
Example
Students taking the new English course make fewer grammatical mistakes than the old English
course.
Null hypothesis – Ho: µ 1 =µ 2
Alternative hypothesis: - H1: µ1 > µ2
Example of a Research Hypothesis:
“The authors’ hypothesis is that by use of the DISA*, one can obtain PSDs# of greater accuracy
and less variability.”
*DISA: Depth-integrated sampler arm; #PSD: Particle size distribution
Source: Selbig, W. R., & Fienen, M. N. (2012). Regression modeling of particle size distributions in urban storm
water: Advancements through improved sample collection methods. Journal of Environmental Engineering, 12,
1186-1193. (page 1187)
8
Adapted from Nunan, D. (1992). Research methods in language learning. Cambridge: Cambridge University Press.

Take a look at the excerpt from a journal article entitled “A
multidisciplinary assessment and intervention for patients
awaiting total hip replacement to improve their quality of life”.
Identify the dependent and independent variables and write a
Text Analysis null research hypothesis.
The benefits of Total Hip Replacement (THR) are well documented in the literature, and have been shown to
improve health outcomes and quality of life for those who have undergone this type of surgery (Garellick et al.,
1998; McMurray et al., 2002; Gogia et al., 1994). There has however been little study into the effects and impact
on patients’ quality of life while they wait to undergo this type of surgery. One study investigating the impact of
waiting on post-operative outcomes (Fortin et al., 2002) found that the longer the wait for THR the poorer the
function at post-operative follow-up. Historically in the author’s hospital the wait for THR has ranged from
between 16 months for routine cases to 3 months for urgent cases. During the time between patients being listed
for surgery and attending the pre-operative assessment clinic, patients stated that their general health and fitness
had declined because of their reduced mobility and increasing disability. The ‘Avoidance Model’ (Steultjens et al.,
2002) goes someway to explain this physical decline. This model is based on the theory that, pain experienced
during activity causes a fear that pain will be produced on activity. This results in the person reducing their activity
because of the fear of pain. The reduced activity then results in muscle weakness; this weakness results in reduced
stability of the joints, which in turn causes actual physical disability. This leads to a downward spiral of increasing
physical disability. Hurwitz et al. (1997) also suggests that this reduced mobility or ‘unloading’ of the joint may
contribute to overall bone loss; causing potential limitations to the surgical options available. This identified the
need to investigate the potential benefits of intervening with these patients whilst they were on the waiting list to
improve their health outcomes whilst they wait for surgery. The aim of the study is to determine the efficacy of
multidisciplinary assessment and intervention for patients waiting for THR. Quality of life was determined
through the use of two assessment tools, the Arthritis Impact Measurement Scales (AIMS2), and the Nottingham
Health Profile (NHP).
Source: Sandell, C.-L. (2008). A multidisciplinary assessment and intervention for patients awaiting total hip
replacement to improve their quality of life. Journal of Orthopedic Nursing, 12, 26-34

Writing the Methodology
Many research students think it is easy to write this chapter as it is less theoretical, but to do
so successfully the writer must be aware of the expectations and how to fulfill them in a
particular discipline. The major purpose of this chapter is to answer this question: How were
the results obtained?
To do this, you must:

 Justify your methodology of choice unless (1) it is already standard in the field and/or
(2) you have done this in the literature review (with references to other studies)
 Give clear and sufficient details to allow other researchers to replicate the study
 Provide sufficient information to allow the examiners to judge the appropriateness of
the methods adopted, and the validity of the findings and the generalizability of the
results
Give a concise description of your research design in small groups.

You can use the following questions to organise your description:
Discussion 1. What is the overarching research question? Or what is the major

hypothesis?
2. What research method will you use? (e.g. survey, experiments on
humans or animals)
3. What kind of data will you collect?
4. What materials do you need to conduct the research?
5. What is the research procedure?
6. How will you analyse the data?

Components of the Methodology Chapter
The details included in the methodology chapter and the order in which they are presented
are not fixed. The following list includes several of the conventional components:
 overview of the experiment

 population/sample (e.g., animate (e.g. animals) and inanimate (e.g. chemicals))
 location
 restriction/limiting conditions
 sampling technique
 procedures
 materials
 variables
 statistical treatment
Read the following example of a methodology section from the field of

wildlife science. The study investigated the blood chemistry of bears and
its relationship to seasonal changes in bears’ activity. Identify the
possible components in the description.
Text Analysis
Ratio of serum urea to serum creatinine in wild black bears
Method
1 Our 3-year-study of changes in the ration of serum urea to serum creatinine in Colorado wild
bears began in the winter of 2006 and ended in the fall of 2008. 2 The investigation was
performed in the Black Mesa-Crystal Creek area in west-central Colorado. 3 The study area
has three major vegetation bands: a mountain shrub community at lower elevations (2235 to
2330m), large aspen forests at elevations between 2330 and 3330 m, and mixed forests of
Engelmann spruce and fir at higher elevations. 4 A total of 76 blood samples were obtained
from 27 female and 21 male bears. 5 Bears were captured with Aldrich spring-activated foot
and lower leg snares. 6 Snared bears were immobilized with a combination of ketamine
hydrochloride and xylazine hydrochloride. 7 A six-foot pole was used to administer the drug.
8 In winter the bears were located with a radio signal emitted by the bears’ collars. 9 The

samples were cooled, serum was separated from red blood cells, and urea and creatinine
concentrations were determined. 10 Statistical analysis of changes in blood parameters was
done with Scheffé’s comparison because seasonal values could not be considered either
independent or dependent.
Source: Weissberg, R., & Baker, S. (1990). Writing up research: Experimental research report writing for students of
English. Englewood Cliffs, NJ: Prentice Hall Regents.

Language Features of the Methodology Chapter
The methodology chapter describes the way in which the research

reported in your thesis was carried out. Descriptions of methods are
important in all kinds of research, but perhaps they are especially
important in fields where research methods are not highly
standardized, such as qualitative research in the social sciences. There
Text Analysis
are also various linguistic differences in Methods sections between
fields in which methods are not highly standardized and fields in
which they are.
Read the following two examples and identify the differences in terms
of language.
Example 1
A setup as shown in Figure 4.3 was constructed to calibrate the relationship between the deformed
area of a polystyrene ball on the lined acrylic surface and the amount of the applied normal force. Here,
two acrylic plates are used to deform the ball in between. The lower plate is fixed in space while the
upper plate is suspended by a pair of springs and is loaded by deadweight at the bottom of system. The
springs are used to counteract the weight of the upper plate and the relevant linkages so that forces
smaller than this weight can be applied to the ball. The spring forces are taken into consideration when
calculating the net force applied to the ball. A small pink translucent plastic sheet is placed between
the ball and the lower plate to reveal the contact zone, which is imaged by a digital camera underneath.
By exerting different loadings on the ball, the respective contact areas were measured and the
calibration curves for both the small and the large ball are plotted in Figure 4.4. As shown in Figure 4.4,
the curves are found to obey a two-third power law between the contact area and the applied load. It
is analogous to the Hertzian elastic contact theory (Johnson (1985)), even though the contact between
the polystyrene ball and the acrylic plate may not be necessarily elastic.
Source: Chan, S.-H. (2004). Statistical distribution of forces in random packings of spheres and honeycomb
structures. Unpublished MPhil dissertation, The University of Hong Kong.

Example 2
Two phases of statistical modeling were implemented to evaluate the performance of DISA*
autosamplers relative to traditional, fixedpoint methods. The first phase was to fit a parametric
empirical distribution model to the observed PSDs#. Following this step, the resulting two parameters
were used as observations (dependent variables) for regression modeling using surrogate
environmental parameters (in this case, meteorological conditions that may impact characteristics of
sediment transport) as the independent variables.
[…]
Once an acceptable parametric distribution model was developed, the next phase was to perform
nonlinear regression analysis calculating coefficients that, when multiplied by measurements of
environmental parameter values, result in estimates of PSDs as represented by the CDF+ parameters λ
and k. The environmental parameters chosen for this analysis were a general set of parameters that
could be used for each sampling site and each method.
*DISA: Depth-integrated sampler arm; #PSD: Particle size distribution; +CDF: Cumulative distribution function
Source: Selbig, W. R., & Fienen, M. N. (2012). Regression modeling of particle size distributions in urban storm
water: Advancements through improved sample collection methods. Journal of Environmental Engineering, 12,
1186-1193.

Tense and voice in the Methodology Chapter
The following methodology section is abridged from the one in a paper entitled “Relationship
between impulsive sensation seeking traits, smoking, alcohol and caffeine intake, and
Parkinson’s diseases”. Complete the passage with the appropriate verb form.
METHODS
Patients
Consecutive outpatients of Caucasian descent fulfilling Queen Square Brain Bank criteria for
PD18 ______________________ (undergo) a Mini-Mental State Examination19 (MMSE)
administered by the examining physician and ______________________ (invite) to participate if the
MMSE score was >26. We ______________________ (exclude) patients with significant cognitive
decline because of the requirement to complete the behavioural and depression rating scales.
The Unified Parkinson’s Disease Rating Scale (UPDRS)20 part II ______________________ (rate) for
the ‘‘on’’ state and patients provided a list of all current medications and their dosages.
Demographic data including age, sex, and age at onset of symptoms of PD ______________________
(also collect).
Questionnaires
Participants who ______________________ (provide) written informed consent to protocols
approved by the local ethics committee ______________________ (give) a series of questionnaires
to complete in their own time and return in a reply-paid envelope. The questionnaires
______________________ (include) a short version of the sensation seeking scale11 22 (SSS), the
Trait Anxiety Inventory23 (TAI), and Geriatric Depression Scale24 (GDS). Data
______________________ (collect) on present and past cigarette smoking, number of cigarettes
smoked, age of starting to smoke, and pipe and cigar smoking.25 We ______________________
(assess) the consumption of regular coffee, tea, chocolate milk, caffeinated soft drinks, and
chocolate with a semi-quantitative food frequency questionnaire based on those used in
previous reports.4 26 Seven possible response categories ______________________ (range) from
‘‘never or rarely’’ to ‘‘six or more times per day’’. Caffeine intake ______________________
(estimate) by multiplying the daily consumption frequency of each category by its estimated
caffeine content and ______________________ (convert) into the number of ‘‘standard’’ coffees
with the formula: caffeine (mg/day)/120.
Source: Evans, A. H., Lawrence, A. D., Potts, J., MacGregor, L. Katzenschlager, R., Shaw, K., Zijlmans, J., & Lees, A. J.
(2006). Relationship between impulsive sensation seeking traits, smoking, alcohol and caffeine intake, and
Parkinson’s disease. Journal of Neurology, Neurosurgery and Psychiatry, 77, 317–321.

Writing about Data
The concept of data

“Data” is a keyword in postgraduate research. A thesis without data is not really a thesis. But
there are different kinds of data:
1. Data that are collected or generated: In some kinds of research, data are gathered or
generated, using experimental methods, surveys, interviews, observations, etc.
2. Data that are found or constructed: In other kinds of research the data are ‘found’, e.g.
the works of a particular author, documents in an archive, etc. Sometimes the data is
‘constructed’ – e.g. a selection is made from a collection of documents, or certain parts
of these documents are extracted and re-arranged.
In the Methodology section, you need to explain how the research was conducted and how
the data were obtained. A detailed account of the process of conducting the research is often
included. This is to ensure the replicability of the study by another researcher.
Now analyze the methodology chapter of your sample thesis in

terms of the structural elements and language features.
Text Analysis

The following is a visual map of typical components of a Methodology Chapter. Are these
components relevant to your study? Is there anything missing?
Theoretical Approach
Assumption framework
Justification
Paradigm Methodology
Ethical issues
Research questions/
hypothesis Limitations
Sampling
Statistical technique
treatment
Methods
Data collection
Calculations/
variables
Population
Procedures sample
Materials
 Field equipment
 Surveys, questionnaires
 Human/animal subjects
 Lab equipment
Source: Paltridge, B., & Starfield, S. (2007). Thesis and dissertation writing in a second language. London:
Routledge.

Task: Make a map of your Methodology Chapter.

Unit 6 Writing the Results and
Discussion Chapter
This unit aims to introduce you to the differences between the results and discussion
chapters and the typical structural elements and language features of them.
Learning Outcomes

 present the results and discussion chapters with accurate organizational
structure, major moves, and meta-text, and
 deploy linguistic resources to present the results and discussion effectively
Presenting Your Results
Discuss how the results and discussion sections are different.
Results Discussion

Results sections have a narrow focus, while discussions employ a wide-angle perspective; the
researcher stands back from the study and evaluates it and relates the findings to the current
state of knowledge in the field. Results deal with description of facts, but Discussions deal
with interpretations of significant points arising from the findings.
The Results section is interesting because it often has aspects of other sections of the research
article/thesis. It is said that there might be 3 categories of information:
 Preparatory – i.e. some information on methods or data tables or a signal to the reader
 Presentational – i.e. presentation of results
 Commentary – i.e. typically at the ends of Results sections (and occasionally in other
parts as well), we get the same kind of information that occurs in Discussion sections—
that is, discussion and interpretation of research findings.
So, one very important point regarding the Results section is that although the Results section
certainly presents research results (the Presentational category), they also present other
kinds of information. In fact, the Preparatory and Commentary categories present
information that is, in part, more like the information we might expect to find in Methods and
Discussion sections than in Results sections!
Identify portion of the following excerpt that seem most applicable

to thesis sections labeled (a) Results, and (b) Discussion.
1 Asa way of following the reaction, the UV absorption [λmax = 280

Text Analysis nm,ε = 0.0045 L/(molcm)] as a function of time was measured for
a solution of 31.5 mg of 2 in 5 ml of acetone. 2 Compound 1a was
obtained in high yield (> 90%) when the reaction was carried out in
acetone or ether. 3 In trichloromethane or carbon tetrachloride,
however, the yield of 1a never exceeded 20%, with 1b instead being
the major product. 4 This confirms findings of HARTZFELD et al.
[13], who prepared 3a and 3b in nonpolar solvents, where R = ZZZ …
Source: Russey, W. E., Ebel, H. F., & Bliefert, C. (2006). How to write a successful
science thesis: The concise guide for students. Weinheim: Wiley-VCH.

Language Features of the Results Section
Many data commentaries start with a summary statement (The results of experiment 3)
and/or a location statement (are shown in figure 5). These are often followed by more
description.
How are the two sentences below different?
1. Figure 8b shows the distribution of the visual salience model

predictions.
2. Figure 13b shows the predicted motion discrimination curve when

the IRF for the first pulse is shortened to 0.8 its original length but
the IRF for the second pulse is not shortened, and vice-versa.
As shown in the task, the description that follows the summary statement or location
statement can be either indicative (i.e., simply indicating the kind of data presented) or
informative (i.e., explaining the exact nature of the findings).
Indicative and informative verbs

Not all verbs can be used for both indicative and informative statements. For instance, while
the use of “display” in “The results are displayed in Table 4” is appropriate, the verb
“suggest” should not be used in the sentence because “suggest” is not often used in
indicative statement.
Task: Complete the following table with Y for yes and N for no.
Verb indicative informative
show Y Y
provide Y N
give
present
summarize
illustrate
reveal
display
demonstrate
indicate
suggest
Source: Swales, J. M., & Feak, C. B. (1994). Academic writing for graduate students. Ann Arbor: University of
Michigan Press.

Linking “as” clauses and preposition
One common structure for introducing informative statements is the “As” clause.
Example
Cellulose microfibrils were constructed with 36 and 16 cellulose chains, as shown in Fig. 1.
Source: Nimlos, M. R., Beckham, G. T., Matthews, J. F., Bu, L., Himmel, M. E., Crowley, M. F. (2012). Binding
preferences, surface attachment, diffusivity, and orientation of a family 1 carbohydrate-binding module on
cellulose. Computational Biology, 287(24), 20603-20612.
This structure is unique in academic writing because it contains no subject.
Task: There are certain standard uses of prepositions with linking “as” clauses. Fill in with
the correct preposition:
 As shown _________ Table X

 As can be seen _________ Table X
 As shown _________ the data in Table X
 As described _________ page 24
 As can be seen _________ a comparison of the two tables (X and Y)
 As has been demonstrated _________ many similar studies (citation), the language use
is …
 As is often the case _________ analytic schemes _________ this type, reliability poses a
problem.
What you should avoid doing in the Results section:

 Avoid repeating the details in a table in words (Instead of => As illustrated in Table X,
40% of females thought that this advertisement … while only 20% of males.. SAY => As
illustrated in Table X, there was a sizeable difference in the way in which genders reacted
– with fewer males…)
 Avoid trying to explain every aspect of the findings instead of highlighting the main
findings
 Avoid Claiming more than what is reasonable or believable – always remember the
limitations of you study
 Avoid using singular form for “data” – e.g. “data” is plural.

Tenses in reporting results
Given that both the results were ‘collected’ from the data and the findings are what you
‘generated’ from the data afterwards, two tenses are used in conveying these two types of
information, past simple and present simple/present perfect.
Task: The following excerpt is adapted from the results section of the paper entitled
“Relationship between impulsive sensation seeking traits, smoking, alcohol and
caffeine intake, and Parkinson’s disease”. Fill in the blanks with the appropriate forms of
the given verbs.
Smoking and caffeine behaviours
Table 2 ________________ (present) smoking and caffeine intake in the PD* patients and controls.
All smokers among the controls and all except one smoker among the patients __________ (be)
cigarette smokers. There ____________ (be) no significant difference in age of onset of smoking
or the maximum number of cigarettes smoked per day between cases and controls. Duration
of smoking, however, ________________ (be) significantly shorter in cases compared with
controls. The PD patients _________________(stop) smoking a mean (SD) 16.2 (13.9) years prior
to onset of symptoms and there _________________ (be) a significant correlation between age of
PD symptom onset and age of smoking cessation (rs=0.327, p=0.037).

Higher cigarette consumption ____________________ (associate) with lower risk of PD (OR=0.74
per 10 pack years (0.60 to 0.90), p=0.003, pseudo R2=0.07). Adding SSS# to the model
____________________ (reduce) the magnitude of the effect of cigarette consumption only slightly
(that is, OR=0.75 per 10 pack years (0.60 to 0.93), p=0.008, pseudo R2=0.13), only weakly
suggesting that some of the apparent effect of cigarette smoking ____________________ (also
explain) by the effect of SSS. Importantly, SSS ____________________ (be) highly prognostic
(OR=0.40 (0.20 to 0.78), p=0.007), independent of cigarette consumption. Higher caffeine
consumption ____________________ (also associate) with lower risk of PD (OR=0.74 per unit/day
(0.60 to 0.92), p=0.007, pseudo R2=0.05). Adding SSS to the model ____________________
(reduce) the magnitude of the effect of caffeine to OR=0.79 per unit/day (0.63 to 0.99,
p=0.036, pseudo R2=0.10). This finding ____________________ (suggest) that some of the
apparent effect of caffeine intake ____________________ (explain) by the effect of SSS.
*PD: Parkinson’s disease; #SSS: Sensation Seeking Scale
Source: Evans, A. H., Lawrence, A. D., Potts, J., MacGregor, L., Katzenschlager, R., Shaw, K., Zijlmans, J., & Lees, A. J.
(2006). Relationship between impulsive sensation seeking traits, smoking, alcohol and caffeine intake, and
Parkinson’s disease. Journal of Neurology, Neurosurgery and Psychiatry, 77, 317–321.

Writing the Discussion
Read these opening paragraphs of a research article discussion

section and discuss what functions does it serve?
 Inform readers what the article has told them (is this
necessary?)
Text Analysis  Provide some interpretation of the data to help readers see
the important findings
 Show how the area of research has been extended by the
study/paper
 Show how the data could be explained with reference to
others
 Others????
Why do the assistant professors not publish significantly less than the associate professors do? Why
does the assistant professor group show the least variation in productivity? One may argue that the
importance of the promotion rewards varies among individuals. To some faculty members, getting
tenure may be much more important than climbing the career ladder later after they ensure their job
security. Hence, they would invest efforts accordingly to each level of promotion rewards. Still, given
the cross-sectional data, whether the variations of productivity between assistant and associate
professors are due to reward differences or because of cohort differences needs further investigation.
The only support for the selection function occurs from employing years since rank, not rank per se, is
the independent variable. Assistant and associate professors who stay in the rank longer than the
average six years are less productive than other colleagues in the same ranks.
Although the result suggests that the faculty rank system operates as a selection system - the fewer
publications one produces, the longer one stays in the rank - the result can be also explained from the
perspective of behavioral reinforcement theory. On the basis of this theory, "years since promotion"
can be viewed as a proxy measure of "the desire for promotion." One can argue that the longer a faculty
member stays in a rank, the less desire he or she has for promotion. Consequently, the faculty member
would not follow the promotion norm to publish. That is, a faculty member's lower desire for
promotion leads her or him to publish less.
The phenomenon that full professors are the most productive faculty but not the most homogeneous
merits more discussion. Why are some full professors still productive after a promotion reward no
longer exists? Different theories provide different explanations. Cognitive evaluation theory [17]

suggests the importance of intrinsic motivation on productivity.
Source: Tien, F. F., & Blackburn, R. T. (1996). Faculty rank system, research motivation, and faculty research
productivity: Measure refinement and theory testing. The Journal of Higher Education, 67(1), 3-22
Structural Elements of the Discussion Section
Taken in isolation, it may be seen as an argumentative text; a one-sided promotional or

justificatory argument for the study in question despite the common admission of some
limitations.
As writers we must remember that the final function of the academic thesis is to relate a
study's research results to 'the rest of the world' - the 'wider world of research' that has
conducted research on the same topic and in the same field. Thesis Discussion sections can
therefore be thought of as an ever-widening funnel, as shown in the thesis general-specific-
general figure - they take us 'outward' from the specific research project itself and its findings
to interpretations, implications, and future directions for that research (see the hourglass
figure in Unit 1). Swales and Feak (1994) state that the discussion sections should be more
than summaries ‘they should go beyond the results’ and should be:
 more theoretical or
 more abstract or
 more general or AND, if possible, some
or a combination of these.
 more integrated with the field or
 more connected to the real world or
 more concerned with implications or applications

Discussions can be viewed as presenting a series of points, following the moves below:
Discussion Moves (A)

Move 1 Points to consolidate your research space (obligatory)
Move 2 Points to indicate the limitations of your study (advised and common)
Move 3 Points to identify useful areas of further research (common in some

discipline)
Some articles in Engineering journals for example, follow this simple move structure in only
one paragraph – sometimes entitled ‘Conclusion’. In the following example, there are 7
sections, and from sections 2 to 6 the author presented a theoretical model. The author
discusses the significance of his model only until section 7, Conclusion. In this case, the
Conclusion section serves partly as the discussion section.
Example
7. Conclusion
A continuum theory of micromorphic, E-M, thermoelastic solids is introduced. By means of
the second law of thermodynamics, frame-independent, linear constitutive equations are
constructed. The field equations are obtained for general anisotropic and isotropic solids.
(Move 1: POINTS TO CONSOLIDATE YOUR RESEARCH SPACE) The theory is now ready for
applications to study high frequency and short wave-length behavior of thermo-microelastic
solids subject to electromagnetic interactions. (Move 3: USEFUL AREAS OF FURTHER
RESEARCH?)
Source: Cemal E. A. (2003). Continuum theory of micromorphic electromagnetic thermoelastic solids.
International Journal of Engineering Science, 41(7), 653-665.
However, if you look at the usual Discussion section in detail there appears to be more than
just the three moves noted by Swales and Feak (1994). Holmes (1997) suggests the following
8 moves in a Discussion section.

Discussion Moves (B)
Move 1 Background information
Move 2 Statement of results, or statement about the significance of the present research
Move 3 (Un)expected outcome, in which the writer comments on whether the results is
expected or not.
Move 4 Reference to previous research or earlier discussion in the paper, writer compares
his/her results, procedures, objectives, assumptions, or generalisations with the
previous literature/research.
Move 5 Explanation of results, often, but not always, writer suggests reasons for
unsatisfactory or surprising results, or results different in literature.
Move 6 Generalisation, writer makes generalisable claims or discusses generalisability, or
limits to generalisability, raises/discusses questions indirectly related to research.
Move 7 Recommendation, writer makes suggestions for future research.
Move 8 Outlining parallel or subsequent developments, writer summarises data from a
period subsequent to the one covered in their article, or about data closely related
to their topic.
Source: Holmes, R. (1997). Genre analysis, and the social sciences: An investigation of the structure of research
article discussion sections in three disciplines. English for Specific Purposes, 16(4), 321-337.
The following statements were taken from the Discussion section of a research article
entitled “Measuring Social Impacts of Breast Carcinoma Treatment in Chinese
Women”. The authors aimed at developing an instrument, Chinese Social Adjustment
Scale (ChSAS), which measures the social impacts of breast carcinoma for Chinese
women.
Indicate the move for each statement.
1. The ChSAS was developed specifically to measure Cantonese-speaking Chinese
women’s posttreatment perceptions of change in social functioning relative to the
period before diagnosis and treatment.
2. The resulting five-factor model (which includes Relationships with Family,
Relationships with Friends, Social Enjoyment, Self-Image, and Attractiveness &
Sexuality) exhibits good stability and internal consistency, although there is room for
improvement in terms of the amount of variance accounted for in the factor-analytic
model (Study 1).
3. In addition, the observation of higher scores on the Relationships with Family and
Relationships with Friends subscales among women receiving chemotherapy is
consistent with reports of improved social support and relationships for women with
BC.5,6

4. Additional work is required to increase sensitivity, which currently is the most
serious shortcoming of the ChSAS. Increasing the number of response options per
item from five to seven should increase the score variance while also improving the
sensitivity of the scale to changes in social adjustment.32
5. An additional concern raised by the current study is the difference between self-
administered ChSAS results and interview-administered ChSAS results. The direction
of the effect after adjustment for age and education, as well as the lack of an observed
difference in responses to different interviewers on post hoc analysis, suggests that
social correctness is likely to be responsible for the tendency to downplay responses
during interview assessment.
Source: Fielding, R., & Lam, W. W. T. (2004). Measuring social impacts of breast carcinoma
treatment in Chinese women: The Chinese social adjustment scale. Cancer, 100(12), 2500-
2511
It is useful to analyse the moves in a research article Discussion to see how writers organise
information. However, conducting a move analysis is an interpretative exercise. One person’s
analysis may be slightly different from another – especially if they have disciplinary
knowledge.
Look at the brief discussion section below from an Engineering Geology

paper. Decide which move you think each sentence is. If you think a
sentence seems to contain two moves, then assign it to the move that
seems more salient. Consult the moves table (Discussion Moves: B)
Text Analysis above and do it with a neighbour.
Thirteen rock samples were successfully recovered with various degrees of fracturing and
different fracture fill materials. The samples were prepared to be cylindrical with a diameter
of 30 cm and a length of 30–40 cm. Each sample contained significant number of fractures
enabling the experimental investigation of fracture networks. The fracture networks could be
easily identified and the orientations determined. This sampling procedure provides a
method whereby bench scale highly fractured samples can be recovered for laboratory
investigation under most field conditions.
Source: McDermott, C. I. et al. (2003.) Recovery of undisturbed highly fractured bench scale (30 cm diameter)
drilled samples for laboratory investigation, Engineering Geology, 60(1), 167-170

Variation in Structural Analyses
The Discussion section is often less “typical” than the introduction and there are different
strategies available for organising information. For example, according to Weissberg and
Buker (1990, p. 162), thesis Discussion sections are organized into 'earlier' and 'later' parts
or information elements. Earlier information elements are those that focus specifically on the
results of the particular study, whereas later information elements focus on the
meaningfulness of those results for 'the rest of the world.' These two sets of information
elements are:
Earlier Information Elements

 A summary statement of the overall purpose of the study
 Review of major findings
 Interpretations and explanations of the findings
 Limitations of the data or the research method used to collect them
Later Information Elements

 General implications of the study - what the findings mean for the wider world of
research
 Recommendations for future research and/or practical applications of the study's
findings
Although these specific information elements can be generally organized under 'earlier' and
'later' categories, within these categories they can occur in a variety of different orders.
Among the later information elements, for example, general implications can occur either
before or after recommendations for future research. A third possibility is that these two
types of information could occur together in a mixed form.
There is therefore substantial variation in the form and content of Discussion sections,
depending on the research methods used, quantity of findings, style guidelines of the journals
they are published in, and reporting conventions for specific fields and disciplines. This
variation makes it all the more important that you use the information we provide in the
workshops comparatively - in order to see how research articles in your own field and topic
area pattern similarly or differently than the description we provide in the series.
Earlier information elements listed above are often introduced using highly typical
language: The results of this study show/demonstrate... This Discussion section then provides

a substantial discussion and interpretation of the findings, relating them to similar findings
from another group of researchers (often mentioned at the outset). Tentative language, such
as modal verbs (e.g., may, can) and other kinds of expressions about expectations and
suggestions, are important language features of this information element. The limitation
statements are also carefully crafted, and often readers are asked to be cautious
The later information elements where general implications of the study are considered
may often have the word “implication”. The recommendations for future research are often
introduced using highly typical language: Additional research is needed to...

Language Features of the Discussion Section
Overview of Tenses in Discussion sections
Frequencies of Selected Items in Different Research Articles Sections

Introduction Methods Results Discussion
Present tense high low low high
Past tense mid high high mid
Passive voice low high variable variable
Citations/references high low variable high
Qualifications mid low mid high
Commentary high low variable high
Source: Swales, J. (1990). Genre analysis: English in academic and research settings. Cambridge: Cambridge
University Press.
The usage of different tenses in the results chapter also holds in the discussion chapter (i.e.
past simple – your results; present simple/present perfect – your findings).
Given that the main purpose of the discussion chapter is to explain the results in relation to
other previous studies and, in some cases, make generalizations from the results, the present
simple tense will predominate so as to establish a connection between your specific study to
the field in general.
The following excerpt taken from the discussion section of an article entitled ‘The combined
presence of H pylori infection and gastro-oesophageal reflux disease leads to an up-
regulation of CDX2 gene expression in antrum and cardia’ shows the co-existence of
results, findings, interpretations and existing research studies. Complete the text with the
correct forms of the verbs given.

DISCUSSION
CDX2 gene expression _____________ (be) a specific molecular marker for intestinal
differentiation,8 9 and ____________________ (report) to be absent in normal gastric mucosa.9 13
21 By using sensitive RT-PCR assays, CDX2 expression ____________________ (recently detect) in
normal gastric mucosa.22 23 Here, positive CDX2 gene expression ____________________
(identify) in 73–96% of all samples, supporting the concept that CDX2 ___________ (be) indeed
minimally expressed in the normal gastric mucosa, and that its expression can be significantly
up-regulated by H pylori and abnormal gastric reflux in antrum and cardia.
Since the transcript levels of CDX2 are also increased in association with IM, the role of CDX2
as causal factor in the transdifferentiation towards intestinal metaplasia ____________________
(corroborate).11 12 The correlation between CDX2 transcript levels and the extent of IM
____________________ (previously report) by Shiotani et al in 2007.24 We ____________________
(confirm) this significant association. However, in a subset of samples, CDX2
____________________ (detect) even in the absence of IM, which ____________________ (support) the
genotypic expression of CDX2 preceding the phenotypic development of IM. Regarding the
focal distribution of IM, sampling error could be a further possible explanation, but is less
likely with respect to the positive correlation of CDX2 gene expression with IM shown in fig 2.
The fact that in some patients high mRNA levels of CDX2 ____________________ (not associate)
with IM ____________________ (suggest) that in some individuals this ______________ (be) not
translated to the full expression of the phenotype of IM. Taken together, the data
____________________ (support) the role of CDX2 expression as marker for intestinal
differentiation as demonstrated by other studies.11 24
Source: Bornschein, J., Wex, T., Peitz, U., Kuester, D., Roessner, A., & Malfertheiner, P. (2009). The combined presence
of H pylori infection and gastro-oesophageal reflux disease leads to an up-regulation of CDX2 gene expression in
antrum and cardia. Journal of Clinical Pathology, 62, 254–259.

Find the earlier and later elements and discuss some of the
typical language features in the following extract of an article.
The results of this study demonstrate that the subacute group of

Text Analysis patients administered functional restoration at an earlier point
following injury (i.e., less than 6-7 months) demonstrated greater
functional performance gains on various tasks, relative to the
chronic group. These are not surprising results because, as
reviewed earlier, there have been some suggestions that early
intervention would produce greater improvement in patients as
opposed to intervention at a later point in time (6). Patients who
enter functional restoration earlier are typically less inhibited in
their neuromuscular task performance, and are not as overreactive
to pain as later-entry patients. Because they are less influenced by
emerging psychosocial barriers, such as depression, stress, and
secondary gain reinforcement, they may be more easily engaged in
treatment.
The functional measurements collected in the present study may

also be useful as predictors of work reentry status. One can
speculate that the subacute group would show greater success at
such a follow-up than the chronic group do. Indeed, Mayer and
colleagues have demonstrated that improved functional capacities
achieved during a functional restoration program parallels
improved socioeconomic outcomes at 1-year follow-up (9).
Additional research is needed to further evaluate the utility of
distinguishing among acute, subacute, and chronic patients as a
means of predicting the degree of functional gains produced by
intervention, as well as further assessing the heuristic value of the
distinction among primary, secondary, and tertiary care approaches
and needs proposed by Mayer and associates (12)
Source: Woods, C. et al. (2000). Effects of subacute versus chronic status of low
back pain patients' response to a functional restoration program. Journal of
Occupational Rehabilitation, 10, 232.

Unit 7 Language Delicacy and
Making Reasonable Claims
This unit aims to introduce you to the techniques to make your writing academically
sound, credible and reasonable.
Learning Outcomes

 draft your thesis chapters with credibility and an appropriate level of
sophistication
Language Delicacy
Discuss with your classmates why the following sentence is not

considered acceptable in academic (thesis) writing:
Nurses will go on strike because

Discussion they think their salary is too low
For your writing to be fully credible and persuasive, you need to be aware of how a reader
will evaluate its realism, reasonableness, and appropriateness. The best way to do this is
to put yourself in the position of your target reader, and consider whether what you have
written passes a number of tests of what we shall call “delicacy”.
We propose here that academic communication - by expert writers as well as students – can
benefit from attention to linguistic delicacy (or ‘fine tuning’) of expression.

We can identify 7 logical-cum-linguistic dimensions of delicacy that you should be able to “add”
to your statements:
1. Probability
2. Scope/Generality
3. Tentativity (Fact/belief status)
4. Condition
5. Relativity
6. Attribution
7. Concession
1. Probability
Students often express their views in an over-certain manner.
e.g. Nurses will go on strike [Are you sure?]  Nurses may/might go on strike
Task 1
Make the following sentence less “certain (categorical)”
a. The evidence is so strong that the President will resign
b. The government made a mistake when they intervened in the market
2. Scope/Generality
Students also tend not to define their referents or population sufficiently narrowly or
accurately, in relation to the claim they are making.
e.g. Nurses will go on strike [Which nurses?]  Nurses in Hong Kong
[All nurses in Hong Kong??]  Many nurses in Hong Kong
Task 2
Make the following sentence less “general”
a. Students prefer Samsung computers
b. Arts students study two or more languages

3. Tentativity/Fact or Belief Status
This is a common problem, stating a future action as a definite fact (they will …), and/or
using the simple present to imply certainty about a belief or attitude (they think …).
e.g. Nurses will go on strike because the pay is low.
[How do you know what they will do or what they think?] 
Nurse may go on strike because they are complaining that…
Task 3
Show that the following statements are BELIEFS rather than facts
a. Hong Kong people think the price of housing is too high
b. 80% of the respondents only read Chinese language newspapers
4. Condition/Circumstance
It is normal with academic-level ideas or propositions for there to be some condition or
circumstance (introduced by if, when, where, unless) included in the same sentence.
e.g. Nurses are likely to go on strike over low pay
[- but regardless of any circumstances or conditions?] 
Nurses are likely to go on strike over low pay unless the government promises to review
their case.
This is a more economic form than our original: since “unless” provides a tentative tone,
we need a more “probable” verb form “is likely to” (or “say they will”).
Task 4
Add some realistic context or condition (use if, when, where, unless, in case, etc.)
a. The Government will have to devalue the Hong Kong dollar…..
b. In custody cases, the court is likely to rule in favour of the mother….

5. Relativity
Often an absolute statement needs replacing by a relative comment
e.g. Nurses are likely to go on strike 
Long-serving nurses are more (or increasingly) likely to go on strike than the newer
recruits, as they have more to lose
Task 5
Make these statements relative (as opposed to absolute)
a. I like Chinese tea…
b. House prices in Hong Kong are low
6. Attribution
In academic communication, we need to attribute views or reports to a specific source of
information or opinion [i.e. Who says so?]
e.g. Nurses in Hong Kong may go on strike over low pay unless the government promises
to review their pay structure  this can be rephrased
Sources in the Hospital Authority report/warn that…
T.Y. Wu, Director of the Hospital Authority, warned that…
But no additional reporting verb is required once if you use neutral option:
According to T. Y. Wu, Director of the Hospital Authority, the nurses [already referred
to] may go on strike….
Task 6
Think of realistic ways of attributing the following ideas:
a. If the HK Govt. continues to intervene in the market, devaluation is inevitable
b. Interest rates are too low

VERSION SO FAR:
Sources in the Hospital Authority report that many of Hong Kong’s nurses are likely to go on
strike over low pay unless the government promises to review their pay structure
One optional reasoning strategy is to add contextual or contingent information that is

retrospective – so instead of if or unless, we can use despite or although.
See next….
7. Concession
It might be that the “circumstance” of this strike is that the government had already
promised to review the nurses’ case, but the nurses still decided to threaten to strike
despite that offer; we call clauses beginning with despite, although and while “concessive”
clauses (and will offer further examples later).
e.g. Sources in the Hospital Authority report that Hong Kong’s nurses may go on strike over
low pay unless the government promises to review their pay structure
Sources in the Hospital Authority report that although the government had promised
to review their pay structure, nurses in Hong Kong are likely to go on strike
Task 7
Add “concessive” qualifications: (using while, although, even if, despite, etc.)
a. The stock market continued to fall
b. The price of food is continuing to rise

Summary
These 7 “pillars of delicacy” have taken us from the relatively simple and crude statement we
started with:
Nurses will go on strike because they think their salaries are too low
And now have a version that is closer to a believable representation of a complex bargaining and
strike situation, expressed (admittedly clumsily) as follows:
Attribution Concession
Sources in the Hospital Authority report that, although the government

has made promises to review their pay structure, Hong Kong’s nurses will
go on strike unless the government implements that review immediately
Fact/Belief Status
Contingency Scope/Generalisation
To re-cap: here are the 7 proposed dimensions of delicacy with associated language
forms:
Dimension Associated Language Forms
1. Probability / Certainty may, might, could, probably, possibly

2. Scope / Generalisation many, more, fewer, some, in Hong Kong
3. Fact / Belief Status “it is believed that”
4. Contingency / Circumstances if, unless, where, when
5. Relativity more, increasingly, fewer
6. Attribution Chan (1993) argues that…
7. Concession although, despite, while, whereas, but…

Language Delicacy: In anticipation of critical sceptism
Remember: academics are trained to read with a critical and sceptical eye, and to be able to
discriminate between conflicting arguments, each seeking to convince the reader. Here are
some critical questions the sceptical reader is likely to ask:
Dimension Questions
1. Probability / Certainty Is this a fact? Are you sure/certain of that?
2. Scope / Generalisation All (people)? People (everywhere)?
3. Fact / Belief Status How do you know that?

Did you actually ask them that? Is that your opinion?
4. Contingency / Does that always happen? (only if..)

Circumstances Will that definitely happen? (Unless..)
5. Relativity More people/people are increasingly likely to
6. Attribution What do you base that on? According to who(m)?

Where did you read/find that? Is that the author’s
position?
7. Concession I thought … (something contrasting or contrary)

You have to admit that they have a case…

Making Reasonable Claims
How do we persuade in academic writing?
Research may be perceived as a quest for collective agreement rather than a search for truth.
Research communication is central to academic cultures as they promote disciplinary
knowledge and establish personal reputation. By trying to publish in journals, academics seek
endorsement of claims. The research article and thesis are ideological instruments of a
discourse community where claims reflect forms of culturally determined knowledge.
 Knowledge in research articles and theses is socially constructed and accredited – it is

NOT a body of ‘objective truth’.
 The process of knowledge construction involves collective agreement between members
of a community that has a set of acceptable knowledge, methods, and criteria against
which they evaluate and accept claims.
The language we use for knowledge building:
 There are linguistic conventions that different disciplines follow – but these conventions
change and get refined as the rhetorical situation changes.
 As knowledge increases and the audience requirements change, the length, language,
referencing and argumentation in an research article and a thesis change as well
(Bazerman, 1988).
 At any given time, however, there are definite ways of stating a claim. These are often
unwritten rules, almost automatically applied and are geared towards making the
research article and thesis sound like a simple description of what really happened!!
We make many claims when we write an article or a thesis.
 Some of those claims are well established such as the general claims about research
findings by many of our disciplinary colleagues – especially the leading experts.
 Others are believed by some but questioned by others – they may be accepted by one
group of people and questioned by another group. You may belong to a particular group
and believe in certain claims to be quite well established and this you can show by the
language you use.
 Yet others are relatively new or subjective ideas that we cautiously put forward – often as
a possibility that is worth looking into.

Recognizable Claims
In the following extracts underline the claims that the writer

makes about the (i) data and (ii) his interpretation of the data.
What is the difference in the claims made?
Text Analysis
Extract 1
By the time they submitted their theses, 83% had one or more publications, and there was a
significant relationship between the number of publications and the discipline area (p, 0.05).
The median number of publications from candidates in the humanities, social sciences and
sciences at the time of submission was 1.4, 1.8 and 2.1 respectively.
Extract 2
If publications produced by these candidates also attract funds according to funding formulae,
this may provide an added incentive to encourage publication by candidates. In any case,
most—though not all (Moses, 1985)—supervisors do encourage their candidates to publish,
so fostering both their writing skills and their career prospects. However, variations do exist
between disciplines, with both the number of publications and co-authorship by supervisors
being highest in the sciences, probably reflecting differences in research culture between
disciplines (Whittle, 1992). It is not possible to determine the reasons for the relationship
between co-authorship of supervisor and encouragement to publish. However, a need by
supervisors to promulgate results from their own research group, and also to add to their
own bibliography may be contributing factors.
Source for Extracts 1 and 2: Heath, T. (2002). A quantitative analysis of PhD students’ views of
supervision. Higher Education Research and Development, 21(1), 41-54.
Extract 3
For the two cases, a linear relationship is observed between the swell and moisture content
variation. The value of CwO for undisturbed specimens is found in Fig.16b to be equal to 1.74
and the corresponding value for the compacted specimens from the same figure is equal to
1.62. The difference between the two values is about 7.5%; hence, sample disturbance had a
minimal effect on the value of Cw.

Extract 4
The relatively small difference between the triaxial predictions and field measurements is in
part due to the fact that the laboratory specimens were compacted and due to their small size,
they tended to be more homogeneous and less contaminated by nonexpandable materials.
Furthermore, the laboratory specimens were exposed to a relatively more favourable
saturation conditions compared to the limited field wetting. These two factors are even more
applicable to the oedometer swell tests on small specimens providing more favourable
conditions for wetting and homogeneity.
Source for Extracts 3 and 4: Al-Shamrani, M, A., & Abdulmohsin, W. D. (2003). Experimental study of
lateral restraint effects on the potential heave of expansive soils, Engineering Geology, 69(1), 63-81.
The nature of academic knowledge building is socially constructed. So one can be more
confident in presenting results but is likely to be less confident or certain when presenting
interpretation because others may not agree.
On the continuum below – our claims can lie anywhere.
Not CERTAIN
Entirely
at all
CERTAIN
Categorical Cautious OR
claims Hedged claims
Explicit knowledge shared by the Cumulative extension of

community knowledge
We hedge or strengthen a claim depending on how confident or certain we are about the
claim.

Strengthening and Hedging a Claim
Strengthening devices are linguistic means used:

 to indicate complete commitment to the truth of a claim
 to express that commitment categorically
 to signal the writer’s willingness to face and deal with opposition to the claims, if they
arise
Hedges are linguistic means used to indicate:
 a lack of complete commitment to the truth of a claim
 a desire to express that commitment cautiously
 the writer’s anticipation of possible opposition to the claims
Below are excerpts from two research articles. Identify

strengthening and hedging devices and explain why they are used
in a particular claim.
Text Analysis [1] In the current study, we demonstrated the usefulness of a

multistage survey design and validation approach moving
progressively from domain specification to empirical validation. We
believe the current study provides the initial evidence that the
survey produced reliable scores that measure beliefs and causes
related to TCAM 9 use among patients with pediatric cancer in 3
Latin American countries. We also found that the survey produced
results that were stable and consistent across 2 occasions in time.
However, the lack of variability in survey responses contributed to
slightly lower internal consistency reliability for the TCAM behavior
scale across all 3 countries, which may have been due to the design
of the survey. Another possible explanation for slightly lower
reliability may be due to patients who were interrupted or rushed
as they approach the end of the survey. Items concerning the belief
and cause scales were located in the beginning of the survey,
whereas the items regarding parental behaviors related to TCAM
were located toward the end of the survey.
Consistent with theoretical expectations, the observed correlation

between the belief of TCAM theories and the behavior scale was
9
TCAM is an abbreviation for Traditional Complementary/Alternative Medicine.

positive and moderately strong. This correlation became stronger
after adjusting for the various levels of reliability of construct
measure, which provided evidence of the construct validity of the 2
constructs. This suggests that respondents’ beliefs in the guiding
theories of TCAM are strongly associated with the use of TCAM.
Source: Ladas, E. J., & Lin, M., Antillion, F., Rivas, S., Chantada, G., Cacciavillano, W., Ortiz, R.,
Stein, K., Castillo, L., Rochas, V., Fu, L., Rodriquez, H., & Kelly, K. (2015) Improving our
understanding of the use of traditional complementary/alternative medicine in children with
cancer. 121(9), 1492-1498.
[2] The proposed analytical solution can rapidly, yet reasonably,

predict the temperature field in the N-layered pavement system
with limited input data, which is especially important for
characterizing a field temperature profile when using the falling
weight deflectometer (FWD) test device. In particular, the initial
pavement temperature profile is not required in order to implement
this solution. A simplification of the proposed model to
accommodate limited weather data could be made to just use the
maximum and minimum air temperatures for the day along with the
peak solar radiation intensity for the day. Furthermore, for FWD
testing conducted during the daytime hours, only the surface layer’s
temperature profile is required, thus, allowing for usage of a more
realistic surface absorptivity value.
Source: Wang, D., Roesler, J. R., & Guo, D. Z. (2009). Analytical approach to predicting
temperature fields in multilayered pavement systems. Journal of Engineering Mechanics, 135,
334–344.

Why do we need to be careful about distinguishing between the two kinds of claims?
 Because the way we phrase our claims will have a lot of effect on our readers. To our
readers our claims must sound “right”.
 Gaining audience acceptance of an argument depends on presenting claims that the
disciplinary community recognizes as 'reasonable'.
Reasonable claims make it possible to publicly evaluate/justify professional actions, and they
seek to:
(1) respond to an existing and finite set of urgent needs recognized by the community;
(2) maintain or expand the community's understanding of a phenomena;
(3) represent empirical adequacy and accuracy in terms of prescribed methods,
(4) correspond to existing assumptions, theories and bodies of knowledge believed to
accurately describe the nature of the knowledge of a field;
(5) adopt the most certain and general position readers are likely to accept;
(6) demonstrate a scientific/an academic ethos to the discourse community which
involves:
 recognizing previous work and acknowledging priority,
 concealing a rhetorical identity behind a pose of objectivity and
 presenting a modest and collegial persona, demonstrating deference to, and
willingness to negotiate with, one's peers. 10
10
Hyland, K. (1997). Scientific claims and community values: articulating an academic culture. Language and
Communication, 17 (1):19-32.

Using Hedging Devices
A range of devices are used to modify claims and make our language more tentative.
These are principally:
 lexical verbs (indicate, suggest, appear, propose);
 adverbials (quite, almost, usually);
 words that convey an attitude or the truth of a statement (probably, generally, evidently);
 adjectives (e.g. likely, possible, most);
 modal nouns, such as possibility, estimate, assumption and tendency (not common);
 modal verbs (mainly would, may and could).
Modal verbs
Using modal verbs is the most common hedging device. These verbs can be divided into
three broad categories of low, medium and high modality (certainty).
Low (very tentative) Median (less High (quite certain)

tentative)
Positive can, may, could, might will, would, should must, ought to, need,
has to
Negative needn’t, doesn’t won’t, wouldn’t, can’t, couldn’t,
shouldn’t oughtn’t
As the end approached, .60% were meeting at least fortnightly and virtually all of these
reported being satisfied, but there were 9% who had to wait for six months or more—a
situation that must have led to considerable frustration and dissatisfaction.
STRONGEST
situation that would have led to considerable frustration and dissatisfaction.
MEDIUM
situation that may have led to considerable frustration and dissatisfaction.
WEAKEST

Rewrite the following sentences with appropriate hedging devices.
1. No research has been done in this area
2. These differences were due to the notion of reader

involvement
3. This has serious implications for future funding
4. This government report means there is no future for A’

levels
5. Several factors were responsible for the failure to achieve

satisfactory results.
6. The lack of exercise in primary school age children is

responsible for the early development of heart disease
(Howard, 1989).

Using Strengthening Devices
There are two common strengthening devices in academic writing:

 emphatics (of course, clearly, obviously, definitely)
 strong words (significant, substantial, powerful)
We can see that modal verbs are combined with other devices in order to strengthen or
weaken what we wish to claim.
To “sell” our claims, we interactively manipulate emphatics and hedges, especially in

certain parts of a research article and thesis.
Task: Which is the strongest categorical claim and which is the weakest in the three-sentence
extract below?
Although the frequency of meetings is important, it is possible for this to be misinterpreted.

For one thing, the quality and effectiveness of each meeting is of central importance. For some
candidates too, the significance of formal meetings is decreased somewhat because of
informal interactions that occur in the laboratory or the tearoom, or by telephone or email.
Source: Heath, T. (2002). A quantitative analysis of PhD students’ views of supervision. Higher
Education Research and Development, 21(1), 41-54.
Manipulating Hedging and Strengthening Devices
Some Examples:
Initial comparisons suggest that some interesting patterns are emerging. We should, of
course, be wary of the varied and developing methodologies used in these exercises, and be
careful of drawing too firm conclusions at this point. But, nevertheless, the early teaching
quality assessments are revealing if and when set alongside the research assessments Source:
Hughes, C., & Tight M. (1994). Linking university teaching and research. Higher Education Review, 28(1), 51-65

Our results show a relation between smoking habit and the…. DNA modification in cervical
epithelium. The ….. correlation with smoking habit strongly suggests that the modifications
are a consequence of exposure to tobacco compounds.... We believe, prospective studies of ...
modified cervical DNA should be carried out to establish the risks.
Source: Salager-Meyer, F. (1997). I think that perhaps you should: A study of hedges in written scientific
discourse. In Miller T. (Ed.) Functional approaches to written texts: Classroom applications (pp 105-118).
Washington: United States Information Agency. English Language Programs.
Strategies for manipulating claims:

 Lexical verbs that evaluate rather than describe (suggest vs. show)
 Combining emphatics and hedges (strongly suggest/ clearly indicate)
 “If” clauses
 Introductory phrases (We believe/think/would argue)
 Words expressing approximation (too [degree], at this point [time])
 Double hedges (it may suggest that…; it seems likely that…)
Take a look at the three texts below. What kinds of hedging and
strengthening devices are the writers using to interactively manipulate
the claims? Underline the devices and discuss the strategies used.
[1] "If we move away from considering the individual academic, it is quite
possible to conceive of ways in which ongoing research and teaching
activities might be linked at the group or organisational level."
[2] "This article suggests, however, that more account needs to be taken
of the likelihood that there may be two emerging hierarchies - of research
and teaching - which substantially mirror each other. "
[3] We believe, however, that the longer-term benefits of a realism-based

approach will outweigh any short-term costs. We found that returning
students, positive about the University and about their other experiences,
played a key role in the recruitment of future students from their own
countries. Disaffected students can play an equally powerful role in
deterring potential students from seriously considering British
universities amid their range of options."

How is citation related to the claims we make?
The rhetorical functions of citations have been explored from several angles.
 Claims are buttressed with citations
 Writers use citations to “cross-link” their work with others so as to put some literature-
based strength into their claims11
 Using citations can be compared to the weaving of a cognitive fabric that the writer wishes
to alter – so the citations are cleverly used to extend to new claims12
 “The presence or the absence of references, quotations and footnotes is so much a sign
that a document is serious or not that you can transform a fact into fiction or a fiction into
fact just by adding or subtracting references” (p. 33)13
 A text is contextualized with reference to others
Now look at one subsection of the discussion chapter of your

sample thesis. Identify the way the writer makes claims.
Text Analysis
11 Blakeslee, A. M. (1994). The rhetorical construction of novelty: presenting claims in a letters forum. Science,
Technology, & Human Values, 19, 88-100.

12 Amsterdamska, O., & Leydesdorff, L. (1989). Citations: indicators of significance? Scientometrics, 15(5), 449-471.
13 Latour, B. (1987). Science in action: How to follow scientists and engineers through society. Cambridge, M.A.:
Harvard University Press.

Unit 8 Writing the Conclusion Chapter and
Writing the Abstract
This unit aims to introduce you to the techniques needed for writing an effective
conclusion chapter and abstract.
Learning Outcomes

 draft the conclusions and abstract with appropriate organizational structure and
linguistic resources
Writing Conclusions
Often a conclusion is little more than a way of ending a piece of writing so it does not sound
like you just got tired of writing and suddenly stopped! But in a thesis, there are often three
important functions to a conclusion: (1) Stating the contribution of the research (How has it
‘filled’ the research space identified earlier in the thesis? How has it added to our knowledge?).
(2) Identifying the limitations of the research (What gaps have you ‘left’ in the research space?
What is it that we still don’t know?). (3) Making suggestions for further research (How could
other researchers build on what you have done).
A conclusion is not the same thing as a summary – it is more of a reflection on what you have
done and a way of pointing forward to the future. Two common mistakes to avoid are being
too self-congratulatory in describing the contribution and too self-critical in describing the
limitations. You can avoid these mistakes by trying to assess objectively how your research
‘fits in to’ developments in the field as a whole.

Functions of the Conclusion Chapter
A backward-looking function:
 summarizing your conclusions i.e. you should highlight the major arguments and state
them again in a different way returning to your original research aims in your
introduction, and questions in your Literature Review/ Methodology section, showing
how you have "proved" your thesis or answered the questions you have raised
A forward-looking function:
 pointing to questions which remain, in your opinion, unanswered or unsatisfactorily
answered
 recommending areas of further study
 Show that you have thought about your research topic in a wider context – as part
of an ongoing cycle of inquiry
What to Avoid in Writing the Conclusion
 Straight repetition of statements already made

 Bringing in any new information not touched on

Evaluate the following conclusion for the balance between
 significance and contribution,
 limitations, and
 the need for further research
Text Analysis How successfully did the author reach that balance?
In the present study, Zhong-Ji (CV-3), Guan-Yuan (CV-4) and Qi-Hai

(CV-6) points were selected. This selection is based on the fact that
they have been used for urinary symptoms (Wang, 1992), and
moxibustion on these points was effective to patients with post-
stroke urinary retention and incontinence in clinical studies (Joo
and Choi, 1997; Lee et al., 1996;, Kang et al., 2000). The present
study showed that improvement of urinary symptoms was not
positively associated with daily activities, while urinary
incontinence has a negative effect on daily activities (Jon et al.,
1996; Vankuijk et al., 2001). It might be because the evaluation
period was short, and the cases were small. No adverse effects like
burning and skin trouble were found in the current study.
There were some limitations to draw a concrete conclusion in

present study; it was a small case and the study period was short.
The mechanism of moxibustion to treat poststroke urinary
symptoms is not clear. Further research will be needed. However,
we suggest that moxibustion on Zhong-Ji (CV-3), Guan-Yuan (CV-4)
and Qi-Hai (CV-6) should be safe and useful treatment for post-
stroke urinary symptoms, but further evaluation on a large sample
size is required to confirm this suggestion.
Source: Sang, P. Y., Woo, S. J., Sung, U. P., Sang, K. M., Jung, M. P., Chang, N. K.,… Hyung,
S. B. (2007). Effects of moxibustion on the recovery of post-stroke urinary
symptoms. The American Journal of Chinese Medicine, 35, 947–954.

Language of the Conclusion Chapter
The retrospective and prospective nature of the conclusion chapter implies that different
language patterns and verb tenses are required. These patterns and verb tenses are expected
to be explicit in that they give the readers a clear signal of what type of concluding remark is
being expressed.
Read the following conclusion extracted from an article entitled “Personality

Characteristics Determine Health-Related Quality of Life as an Outcome Indicator of
Geriatric Inpatient Rehabilitation”. Complete the conclusion with the appropriate verb
forms.
In conclusion, we _____________ (be) able to confirm our hypotheses and the application of the
biosocial theory of personality to the determination of quality of life in the course of geriatric
rehabilitation was (be) successful, leading to some differentiating results in line with the
theoretical background and clinical practice. Self-directedness ____________________ (establish)
as the personality dimension with the most general and highest impact on quality of life and
successful rehabilitation. It ________________ (appear) that character dimensions in terms of
self-directedness and cooperativeness ______________ (be) of higher importance than
temperament dimensions reflected by higher correlation coefficients. It ______________ (be)
likely that in old and very old individuals, who are at their highest level of maturity, the
character _________________ (represent) the most important regulatory system when
individuals __________________ (confront) with the challenges of daily life including severe
disturbances in health and functional conditions, which ________________ (cause) the necessity
of rehabilitation in old and very old individuals.
Furthermore, it ____________________ (conclude) that consideration of the personality
characteristics of geriatric rehabilitation patients ____________________ (can improve) the
effectiveness of the rehabilitation process which, in turn, ____________________ (can improve)
the quality of life of the patients. On the other hand, low novelty seekers __________________
(require) clearly defined targets from the rehabilitation team, and highly self-directed
individuals ____________________ (can guide) to a more autonomous rehabilitation in contrast to
low self-directed patients who ________________ (be) in need of more frequent contact with the
therapists who _________________ (need) to motivate the patients to achieve their targets and
complete their rehabilitation.
Source: Richter, J., Schwarz, M., & Bauer, B. (2008). Personality characteristics determine health-related quality of
life as an outcome indicator of geriatric inpatient rehabilitation. Current Gerontology and Geriatrics Research, 3. 1-
8.

Writing the Abstract
Read the abstract section of your sample thesis and identify the
elements included in it. Compare your answers with your
classmates’.
Text Analysis
According to the Oxford English Dictionary, an “abstract” means a brief statement of

content or a summary.
BUT for the purposes of research funding and publication an abstract is much more than a
summary:
a) CENTRALITY: It is the essence of your thesis; it is the heart and soul of the work we wish
to share with the others in our community of professionals.
b) IMPRESSION FORMING: It is the first (and perhaps the only) thing the readers and
indeed examiners (!) will read and on that basis form an impression. This impression
serves a gate keeping function which somewhat pre-determines the worth of the whole
thesis.
c) ADVERTISEMENT/PROMOTION: It is a way of selling your thesis and thus needs
sophisticated and well-thought-out choices with regard to both content and language.

As writers of abstracts we always have to remember the “famous triangle”:
READER:
Needs & expectations
CONTEXT:
TEXT: Contribution to
Focus discipline
knowledge
base
How do the reader, text and context shape the writing of abstracts?
Since an abstract is a factor in the decision-making process for grants, conferences and
publications, we need to think of
 Readers: The first group of readers is the reviewers, which are a small group of readers
but serve as the decision-makers. In addition:
- For publications: We also have a larger group of readers of a particular journal in
which we aspire to publish. They are busy academics like ourselves, who want to
know about the recent advances in their subject area, and who share a common core
of knowledge and form a community with their own conventions.
- For conferences: Our abstracts may determine how many will attend our talk.
 Purpose: An abstract gives us a chance to demonstrate our research capability
 Context: one where many abstracts, brief yet informative, will be aggressively vying for
reader attention.
Functions of an Abstract
For conference abstracts: The reader might be looking for topics of high current interest
and wish to see the problem clearly defined/ problem addressed in a novel way (purpose) as
well as some indication that the writer is familiar with the literature. The obvious function
served by an abstract is that it is a factor in the decision-making process for grants,
conferences and publications.

Functions for writers Functions for readers
 advance organizer for  Essential tool for an information search. The volume of
writers by keeping research in all fields is growing phenomenally and in
the text focused recent years there has been a move towards longer
abstracts with the number of sentences in abstracts
 help writers structure increasing. 14
and evaluate their

writing  Abstracting journals are further increasing the
newsworthiness of abstracts as providers of ‘news’ of
related work.
 Therefore, for readers (consumers) abstracts guide the

decisions about whether to read the article or not.
Structure of an Abstract
It is suggested that the information in abstracts follow the structure of the research article.
We know that the overall organization of the research article or thesis often follows the IMRD
structure:
Introduction (I)  Method (M)  Result (R)  Discussion (D)
 a general introductory statement
 followed by a statement of the method and then

 results and discussion (this is likely to be different for a conference abstract)
Warning: this is not a prescription just that analysts have found this is how writers
generally organize abstracts.
14Huckin, T.N. (1993). Surprise value in academic discourse. Paper presented at the 9th symposium on Language
for Special Purposes, Bergen, Norway. Huckin showed how the physical format of a journal article had changed
in order to keep up with the phenomenal increase in research production.

Please see if you can find the IMRD structure in the following. Is the
structure clear?
In this paper new empirical formulas for the prediction of the air
Text Analysis velocity in front of rectangular (slot) openings (both plain and
flanged) are presented. The new equations here introduced are
inferred from an exhaustive experimental study carried out by the
authors on one of the most common and widespread shape of local
exhaust opening (slot). The new empirical formulas presented here
describe the three-dimensional velocity field near a rectangular
exhaust hood, providing the velocity gradients (decays) along
suitable directions, parallel to the slot axis. These formulas have
been tested and show an accurate fitting of the experimental data.
The suggested equations are simple and can be friendly used by the
designer, in order to predict the air velocity in front of a suction
opening, and therefore to dimension correctly a local exhaust
ventilation system.
Source: Cascetta, F., & Rosano, F. M. (2001). Assessment of velocity fields in the
vicinity of rectangular exhaust hood openings, Building and Environment, 36(10),
1137-1141.
However, the IMRD structure is not entirely clear cut. Quick analysis will show that
although it is useful to know the structural elements in an abstract, in real life abstracts can
incorporate a variety of structures where most but not all of the elements/moves discussed
today are found.

Please see if you can find the IMRD structure in the following text.
In most places where a fire started, electric molten marks that may
be the cause of the fire are found. Various methods have been
Text Analysis studied for identifying these electric molten marks to be either the
cause of a fire (a primary molten mark (PMM)) or one caused by the
flames of the fire (a secondary molten mark (SMM)). Little was
studied, however, on their identification using the carbonized
residue remaining in the molten marks. In this study, therefore, it
was examined whether it was possible to discriminate between the
PMMs and SMMs by analyzing the crystal structure of the carbon in
the carbonized residue, which came from PVC insulation, remaining
in the primary and the SMMs. As a result, it has been found that
PMMs contain both graphitized carbon and amorphous carbon,
whereas SMMs only contain amorphous carbon.
Source: Lee, E. P., Ohtani, H., Matsubara, Y., Seki, T., Hasegawa, H., Imada, S., &
Yashiro, I. (2002). Study on discrimination between primary and secondary molten
marks using carbonized residue. Fire Safety Journal, 37 (4), 353-368.
Here is an example of a very different structure of an abstract. So it is worth checking the

abstracts in the journal we wish to publish in or the abstracts of successful grant proposals to
see the common structural patterns. Also look at abstracts of theses/research articles on the
same topic area to see how writers sell the idea, claim centrality and create a good impression.
Typical Moves in an Abstract
Within the overall IMRD structure, we find that writers explicitly focus on different aspects
of a paper depending on what they want the readers to focus. They differ in terms of
 information and
 its structuring
because within the major communicative purpose each part fulfils a minor communicative
function.
There are a number of moves available to us to fulfill these communicative functions.

Often we follow our intuitive feelings even though we may not know the moves. It is useful to
know the possible moves we can make, logically and consciously, in an abstract in order to
structure the text to our best advantage. Moves in abstracts typically consist of:
Moves How these are done
(1) Situating the This is often done by
research a) stating current knowledge
(often optional in many b) citing and extending previous research &/or
Scientific disciplines)
c) stating centrality &/or a problem &/or gap in the existing
research
(2) Presenting the This is often done by
research a) indicating main features and/or indicating main
purpose
b) raising a hypothesis
(3) Describing the -
methodology
(4) Summarizing This is often done by
the results a) stating findings
b) signaling what will be discussed
(5) Discussing the This is often done by
results (optional) a) drawing conclusions &/or
b) giving recommendations
The structure of a Conference Abstract may be slightly different, though containing

many of the above moves:
 Situating the research: Often includes outlining the research field and a justification
for the particular research to be presented
 Presenting the research: Often includes introducing the paper to be presented
 Summarising the paper: Often includes methodology and summary findings
 Highlighting the outcomes: Often includes a statement about the significant results

Identify the move structure in the following abstract using the
framework just introduced.
The management of new service development (NSD) has become an

Text Analysis important competitive concern in many service industries.
However, NSD remains among the least studied and understood
topics in the service management literature. As a result, our current
understanding of the critical resources and activities to develop
new services is inadequate given NSD's importance as a service
competitiveness driver. Until recently, the generally accepted
principle behind NSD was that "new services happen" rather than
occurring through formal development processes. Recent efforts to
address this debate have been inconclusive. Thus, additional
research is needed to validate or discredit the belief that new
services happen as a result of intuition, flair and luck. Relying upon
the general distinctions between research exploitation and
exploration, this paper describes areas in NSD research that
deserve further leveraging and refinement (i.e. exploitation) and
identifies areas requiring discovery or new study (i.e. exploration).
We discuss the critical substantive and research design issues facing
NSD scholars such as defining new services, choice in focusing on
the NSD process or performance (or both), and specification of unit
of analysis. We also examine what can be exploited from the study
of new product development to further understanding of NSD.
Finally we explore one important area for future NSD research
exploration: the impact of the Internet on the design and
development of services. We offer research opportunities and
research challenges in the study of NSD throughout the paper.
Source: Menor, L. J., Tatikonda, M. V., & Sampson, S. E. (2002). New service
development: Areas for exploitation and exploration. Journal of Operations
Management, 20(2), 135-157.

Language Features of an Abstract
a. Past tense
The use of the past tense is not overly common since many analysts have found that the
present tense is extremely popular with abstract writers for the following reasons.
 Firstly, the abstract frequently makes references to what will be found in the full text of
the paper and so writers often use the present tense
Example:
This paper discusses the use of a virtual experimentation environment as a planning and
training tool for machining processes.
Source: Chryssolouris, G., Mavrikios, D., Fragos, D., Karabatsou, V., & Pistiolis, K. (2002). A novel virtual
experimentation approach to planning and training for manufacturing processes - the virtual machine stop.
International Journal of Computer Integrated Manufacturing, 25(3), 214-221.
 Secondly, abstracts usually occur in commentary rather than in a narrative form. The
writers want to focus on the main points of a piece of research but not the story of the
research process. Thus the present tense is often used
Example:
Through labelling studies and 1H and 31P{1H} NMR spectroscopies including
parahydrogen measurements, it is shown that the reaction involves conversion of the
coordinated CF3 ligand into carbonyl.
Source: Albietz, P. J., Houlis, J. F., & Eisenberg, R. (2002). Heterolytic activation of hydrogen as a trigger for
Iridium complex promoted activation of Carbon-Fluorine Bonds. Inorganic Chemistry, 41 (8), 2001-2003.
In fact, move 1 is usually characterized by the present or present perfect tense. This use
may indicate that the writer wishes to show that the paper:
I. addresses an issue of current interest;
II. makes claims of present state of knowledge or generality.
Example:
The management of new service development (NSD) has become an important
competitive concern in many service industries.
Source: Menor, L. J., Tatikonda, M. V., & Sampson, S. E. (2002). New service development: Areas for
exploitation and exploration. Journal of Operations Management, 20, 135-157.
 However, in move 2 when the writers were raising a hypothesis (such as outlining
their questions or hypotheses), they often use the past tense. Similarly in moves 3 and
4 when methodology and findings are presented there is often a preference for the
past.

Example:
A data sampling strategy was developed for the use of a satellite sensor-based methodology
to estimate the urban heat-island temperature bias associated with climate observation
stations.
Source: Gallo, K. P., & Owen, T. W. (2002). A sampling strategy for satellite sensor-based assessments of the urban
heat-island bias. International Journal of Remote Sensing, 23 (9), 1935-1939.
b. The use of passive/active voice

In reporting the method (data was gathered: move 3), writers often use passive voice and use,
as subject of the clause, words such as data, subjects, procedures. However, this is not a rule,
in some abstracts writers do use active voice for move 3 and most common is a combination
as shown below.
Example:
Data were collected using a self-reporting diary log sheet that identified the focus of an
individual's activity at 5-minute intervals. All Registered Nurses, on all shifts over a 7-day
period, completed log sheets.
Source: Harrison, L., & Nixon, G. (2002). Nursing activity in general intensive care. Journal of Clinical Nursing, 11,
158-167.
Our quick analysis of abstracts also shows that sometimes the subject of the clause or
sentence may well be the writers themselves.
Example:
We found that in most experiments the flame velocity, S, increases linearly with a distance L,
from the end of the tube.
Source: Shebeko, Y. N., Fialkov, B. S., Eremenko, O, Y., Muravlev, V. K., & Chekhovskich, A. M. (2001). The
investigation of flame propagation in gaseous mixtures in large semiopen tube. Combustion Science and Technology,
172, 109-121.
In reporting findings (move 4) there is also a tendency towards using passive voices, the
common verbs being was found, was observed or was shown. However, an active voice with
subjects such as findings, data, is quite common. The tendency seems to be for the researcher
to take a less conspicuous place and to allow the data to speak for itself.
Example:
Good agreement was found between the temperature and species predictions and the
measured values.
Source: Gera, D., Mathur, Freeman, M., & O’Dowd, W. (2001). Moisture and char reactivity modelling in pulverized
coal combustion. Combustion Science and Technology, 172, 35-69.

Example:
The results of these calculations indicate that, over this range of conditions, the radiant flux
can be attenuated by as much as 42%.
Source: Fuss, S. P., & Hamins, A. (2002). An estimate of the correction applied to radiant flame measurements due
to attenuation by atmospheric CO2 and H2O, Fire Safety Journal, 37 (2), 181-190.
c. Subordination
Abstracts do contain subordination. As a way of making an abstract more cohesive and
ensuring that it does not read like a checklist, writers often use subordination. (However, the
abstracts we have analysed do not contain too many subordinating clauses)
Example:
In order to illustrate a number of underlying response mechanisms, the analytical results
obtained from an idealised structural system, in which a single compartment is subjected to
fire, are summarised.
Source: Elghazouli, A. Y., & Izzuddin, B. A. (2001). Analytical assessment of the structural performance of
composite floors subject to compartment fires, Fire Safety Journal, 36 (8), 769-793.
d. Use of adjectives
Santos has found that adjectives and adverbs, are often used in abstracts when the writer is
presenting the findings (move 4). The most common adjective found was significant.
Example:
Carbon conversion that is caused by steam gasification may be significant when the amount
of moisture is high in char. This endothermic reaction also may play a significant role in the
stability / extinction of the flame or flame life-off.
Source: Gera, D., Mathur, M., Freeman, M., & O'Dowd, W. (2001). Moisture and char reactivity modelling in
pulverized coal combustion. Combustion Science and Technology, 172, 35-69.
e. Elimination of redundancy
The most outstanding characteristic of writing abstracts is that it is a process of distillation.
The writer has a full-length text, which has to be captured in a very short text. Therefore,
information has to be distilled cleverly. Therefore, good abstracts should avoid:
 repetition
 examples
 footnotes
 preliminary details

Elimination of redundancy has to balance with the other concerns we have as writers. In an
abstract we may make certain claims, which not only show the value we wish the reader to
place on our reported research but also indicates our own attitude as academics. Therefore,
we may not wish to state claims categorically but hedge the claim by being cautious and
sounding reasonable.
Example:
However, because no clear failures of composite structures such as the Cardington frame have
been seen, it is not clear how far these structures are from failure in a given fire. This paper
attempts to lay down some of the most important fundamental principles that govern the
behaviour of composite frame structures in fire in a simple and comprehensible manner.
Source: Usmani, A. S., Rotter, J. M., Lamont, S., Sanad, A. M., & Gillie, M. (2001). Fundamental principles of structural
behaviour under thermal effects, Fire Safety Journal, 36 (8), 721-744.)
Example:
First aid training did appear to increase participants' perception of the probability that they
would suffer a work related injury or illness and they also expressed greater concern about
taking risks at work after receiving first aid training. It therefore appears that first aid
training enhanced participants' motivation to avoid occupational injuries and illnesses.
Source: Lingard, D. (2002). The effect of first aid training on Australian construction workers' occupational health
and safety knowledge and motivation to avoid work-related injury or illness. Construction Management and
Economics, 20 (3), 263-273.)
f. Other grammatical and lexical features

Only a limited use of references and often no citations (this may differ), usually this or these
to refer back to ideas mentioned
Example:
Carbon conversion that is caused by steam gasification may be significant when the amount
of moisture is high in char. This endothermic reaction also may play a significant role in the
stability / extinction of the flame or flame life-off.
Source: Gera, D., Mathur, M., Freeman, M., & O'Dowd, W. (2001). Moisture and char reactivity modelling in
pulverized coal combustion. Combustion Science and Technology, 172, 35-69.

Correct the errors in the following abstract and explain your
correction.
Abstract
Proofreading The presented paper concerns numerical simulations of large
deformation and necking behavior of axisymmetric tensile
specimens. In fact, an efficient framework for the numerical
analysis of finite deformation behavior of elastic-rate-
independent plastic problems is here which was based on a
plastic predictor method. Furthermore, numerical modeling of
conventional tensile tests as well as their finite deformation and
localization phenomena were discussed in some detail, and the
results would be compared to that obtained by simplified
numerical simulations.
Draft an abstract for a conference at which you intend to give a

presentation.

Appendix
The following checklist will help you prepare the second part of your final portfolio: critique
of a thesis.
1. Abstract
 Clear structure (e.g. I-M-R-D) ........................................................................................................
2. Introduction
 Clear structure (e.g. the four steps).............................................................................................
 Research interest as an identified problem in the literature............................................
3. Literature Review
 Justifying the rationale behind the selection of literature for discussion ...................
 Clear structure (e.g. with introductory paragraph, main body, conclusion)..............
 Topic-based vs chronological development ............................................................................
 Descriptive reporting vs critical evaluation ............................................................................
 A research gap identified .................................................................................................................
 Research questions/hypothesis emerged from the literature .........................................
 The range of reporting verbs used ..............................................................................................
 Balanced review ..................................................................................................................................
 Up-to-date references and classic readings reviewed .........................................................
4. Methodology
 Standard vs Nonstandard Procedures .......................................................................................
 Concept of data (generated vs constructed)............................................................................
 Methodology vs Methods vs Materials .......................................................................................
5. Results
 Results vs discussion .........................................................................................................................
 Preparatory  Presentational  Commentary.....................................................................
 Indicative vs Informative Verbs ....................................................................................................
 Predominant use of past tense ...................................................................................................... 

6. Discussion
 Interpretation of data........................................................................................................................
 Making reasonable claims ...............................................................................................................
 A combination of 8 moves ...............................................................................................................
 Predominant use of present tense and hedging devices ....................................................
7. Conclusion
 Summary of findings (backward-looking)................................................................................
 Providing continuity of your research topic (forward-looking) .....................................
8. References
 Consistent referencing style ............................................................................................................
9. Language Issues associated with Academic Writing

 Formality (e.g. use of contractions, personal pronouns, And/But/So placed at the
beginning) ............................................................................................................................................
 Hedging vs Strengthening ...............................................................................................................
 Active vs Passive Voice .....................................................................................................................
 Direct Quotation vs Paraphrasing ................................................................................................
 Use of Tenses (for temporality and stance-marking) ..........................................................
 Articles (a, an, the) and Countable vs Uncountable nouns ................................................
 Collocations (e.g. data claims vs the author claims) .............................................................
 Organization..........................................................................................................................................
 Clarity of arguments ..........................................................................................................................
 Word choices ........................................................................................................................................
 Use of nominalization........................................................................................................................
 Use of signposting expressions .....................................................................................................
 7 pillars of delicacy.............................................................................................................................
 Informative Headings and Subheadings....................................................................................

GRSC6021: Introduction to thesis writing Class: GRSC6021-___
Portfolio coversheet
To: ______ ____________________, Centre for Applied English Studies,

(Your teacher’s name)
Please tick (  ) and sign below. Attach this to your portfolio before submitting it for assessment.
I have:
 Checked the total number of words (1500 - 1600 words—excluding references, etc.).
 Attached 2 assessment tasks: Literature review (revised draft) and Critique of a thesis.
 Included literature review draft with feedback as specified by my teacher.
 Proofread my work carefully to eliminate errors.
 Made the required submission to Turnitin.
I declare that I:
 Understand the concepts of academic honesty and plagiarism as taught in this course.
 Have acknowledged all published and unpublished references (from both print and internet
sources) by using proper citation techniques. (For example, I used quotation marks to show
exactly what I have quoted and cited the source details accurately.)
 Have written all parts of this submission myself (only single-authored work is accepted).
 Have not previously submitted any parts of this portfolio for assessment to this or any other
university or publication.
_____________________________________ _________________________________
(Write your signature above.) (Date)
Name: ____________________________________ University No.: _________________________________________________
Supervisor: ______________________________ Dept./School: ___________________________________________________
Email: ___________________________________ Phone number: _________________________________________________

THE UNIVERSITY OF HONG KONG
Centre for Applied English Studies
GRSC6020 Introduction to Thesis Writing (Sciences and Related Disciplines)

Final Portfolio Assessment Feedback Sheet
Student Name: ____________________________________________________________________________
Class: ____________________________________________________________________________
Assessment Feedback: (to be completed by Examiner)
Task 1: Literature Review

Specific Criteria:
Keys: Excellent (E), Good (G), Satisfactory (S), Marginal (M), E G S US
M
Unsatisfactory (US)
TASK ACHIEVEMENT
OVERALL COMMUNICATIVE SUCCESS
Purpose, audience (explicitness), organization, sign-
posting, argument
SUBSTANTIATION
Adequate & consistent use of sources, proper citation &
referencing, show stance
DISCOURSE ELEMENTS & FEATURES
Topic development, clear paragraph structure, linkage
between sentences & paragraphs, academic vocabulary
EDITING & PROOF-READING
Grammar (sentence & word level), spelling, punctuation,
word forms & choice
Task 2: Critique of a Thesis

Specific Criteria:
Keys: Excellent (E), Good (G), Satisfactory (S), Marginal (M), E G S M US
Unsatisfactory (US)
TASK ACHIEVEMENT
OVERALL COMMUNICATIVE SUCCESS
Purpose, audience (explicitness), organization, sign-
posting, argument
SUBSTANTIATION
Adequate & consistent use of sources, proper citation &
referencing, show stance

DISCOURSE ELEMENTS & FEATURES
Topic development, clear paragraph structure, linkage
between sentences & paragraphs, academic vocabulary
EDITING & PROOF-READING
Grammar (sentence & word level), spelling, punctuation,
word forms & choice
General Comments:
Examiner: ______ _____________ ____ Date: ____________________________
Recommended Overall Grade*:__________________________PASS / FAIL___________________
*Remarks:
The two assessment tasks are weighted equally. Examiners assign the overall course grade taking into
account the student’s performance in both tasks. In the circumstance when one task is marginally
passable, examiners have the discretion to consider awarding an overall pass for the course, provided
that the performance on the other task is of a sufficiently high standard.
The recommended overall grade is tentative only and subject to approval by the Graduate School Board
of Examiners.
NB: The comments and/or ticks in the various boxes are designed to provide feedback to students.
Criteria are not given equal weight in determining the recommended overall grade.

GRSC6021 - Course Booklet - 2016-17

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Introduction to Thesis Writing

Centre for Applied English Studies

The University of Hong Kong

2016© Centre for Applied English Studies

GRSC6021 Introduction to Thesis Writing Page 1

Letter from the Director

Graduate Student Writing Support Service

Diagnostic Assessment Profile

Unit 1 Overview of Thesis Writing .......................................................... p.18

Unit 2 Writing the Introduction Chapter .............................................. p.34

Unit 3 Writing the Literature Review Chapter ................................... p.44

Unit 4 Citation, Referencing and Paraphrasing .................................. p.59

Unit 5 Writing Research Hypotheses and

Unit 6 Writing the Results and Discussion Chapter ......................... p.80

Unit 7 Language Delicacy and Making Reasonable Claims ........... p.96

Unit 8 Writing the Conclusion Chapter and

Appendix .................................................................................................................. p.130

GRSC6021 Introduction to Thesis Writing Page 2

Professor Ken Hyland

GRSC6021 Introduction to Thesis Writing Page 3

GRSC6021 Introduction to Thesis Writing Page 4

Want to discuss interesting topics with other students in English?

Want to attend workshops on pronunciation or conversational English?

Need to prepare for the IELTS test?

Need to improve your writing skills?

Check out the Virtual English website (VE) http://caes.hku.hk/ve

FACILITIES: The Learning Commons, Zone R, has the following facilities…

 A wide range of resources for improving English skills

ENGLISH SUPPORT: Zone R provides human support…

GRSC6021 Introduction to Thesis Writing Page 5

Support for Students with Disabilities or Special Educational Needs

GRSC6021 Introduction to Thesis Writing Page 6

CEDARS-Counselling and Person Enrichment Section (CEDARS-CoPE) promotes attitudes

Counselling for students with emotional / mental issues

Help for students with learning difficulties such as dyslexia

GRSC6021 Introduction to Thesis Writing Page 7

Eligibility and Enrolment

GRSC6021 Introduction to Thesis Writing Page 8

Course Learning Outcomes

GRSC6021 Introduction to Thesis Writing Page 9

Matthews, J. R., & Matthews, R. W. (2008). Successful scientific writing: A step-by-step

 Teacher supplied class handouts.

 Collect from the Graduate School (also online & in department)

GRSC6021 Introduction to Thesis Writing Page 10

A. Literature Review (750-800 words)

2. discuss previous findings related to your research.

B. Critique of a Thesis (750-800 words)

GRSC6021 Introduction to Thesis Writing Page 11

Submission and feedback:

Final Portfolio Due Date:

GRSC6021 Introduction to Thesis Writing Page 12

Overall grade descriptors

Grade descriptors of Task A:

Grade descriptors of Task B:

GRSC6021 Introduction to Thesis Writing Page 13

Step 1: Prepare your File

Step 2: Go to the Moodle course site

Step 3: Upload your paper (the file).

GRSC6021 Introduction to Thesis Writing Page 14

I. OVERALL COMMUNICATIVE SUCCESS

GRSC6021 Introduction to Thesis Writing Page 15

III. DISCOURSE ELEMENTS AND FEATURES