The x private vehicle has increased highly, where using private vehicle as a wealthy sign and

has the problematic issue. Reducing the use of private vehicle is not very easy because it has x
complex problem, but there is always a solution to every problem.

The first stage to reduce the use of vehicle is by improving the quality of public transport where
the governments has x important role to build public transportation such as train, bus, tram, and
taxi. The system of public transportation should have policies, and regulations which is made by
the governments to ensure the safety of passengers, and vehicles . x
The next step is the access to public transport should be efficient, and easy to reach by people.
The governments can create a map for public transport access, build a bus stop in every street,
and underground train station. Especially for disability people, the public transportation should
provide friendly spaces and accessible for wheelchair users.
The last step, combine technology and transportation to attracted people to used public vehicles
with pleasure, and excitement. These technologies are using code, and artificial intelligence such
as electric scooter, hoverboard, and two wheels cars.
But the most important part is the encouragement for people. Governments should make people
know how essential reducing the pollution x, educate children from the young age to take
responsibility, and give free cost for passengers that used public transportation for a short
distance.
In conclusion, there are obviously responsibility for both people and the governments to reduce
private transportation.

Nabilah, I’d be interested in knowing your process for writing this because the
introduction seems to be of a very different style than the body. It is VERY difficult to
read and makes almost no sense.
A formal, argument essay REQUIRES a proper thesis, and this response lacks one. (i.e.
“There are a number of ways government can reduce traffic.”) Without this statement, the
purpose of the paper—your attempt to convince me of something—is unclear.
The body is better. You’ve got four good ideas, but there are a number of grammar and
vocab problems which affects reading. I fixed some problems, but there are many I didn’t
fix because it required rewriting too many sentences.
Finally, your conclusion lacks a summary of your solutions. After the sentence you DO
provide, you need to remind the reader of your four solutions. Not including a summary is
not option--this is an academic report for a western school.