The two pie charts show the percentage of UK on spending across seven categories in 1971 and

2001. x

Overall, at the beginning of the period it can be seen that x food and cars are extremely changed
over the thirty years, while furniture and petrol has slightly changed. x In comparison, at the end
of the period there are cars, and restaurant became the most spending habits in the UK.
In 1971 until 2001, the three largest areas of spending habits in the UK were restaurant, cars, and
food. In detail, restaurant increased twofold from 7% to 14%, and cars has rose from 22% to
42% in 1971 and 2001 with food as the largest area that greatly declined from 44% in 1971 to
14% in 2001. The other categories were much smaller. Computers, furniture, books, and petrol
has fell significantly in 1971 and 2001.

Interestingly, between 1971 and 2001, spending habits on furniture, books, and petrol had
dropped with the exception of computers, which is inclined 12% in 2001. Spending on furniture
has slightly changed, where in 2001 the furniture only increased 8% and spending on books fell
from 6% to 1% in 2001. On the other hand, spending on petrol extremely decreased by 10% in
1971 to 8% in 2001 followed by furniture that both of them are only decreased slightly.

First, structurally, your trend should be placed as your “thesis” in the introduction, rather
than as your topic sentence—if only because it is standard “academic format”. Secondly,
your trend isn’t explained clearly—how did spending on food and cars change? (Food
replaced cars as the major household expense.) Finally, by introducing ‘furniture and
petrol”, you’ve now introduced a ‘second trend’. You don’t normally need to do that,
however you did devote a paragraph to discussing it, so it works here.

There are a few problems with wording, but I’ll only draw your attention to the adverbs
I’ve highlighted (as well as “extremely changed” in the first sentence). Although it’s not
grammatically incorrect to place the adverb before the verb, we normally place it after the
verb. In these four cases it makes the sentences a little awkward.

In the sentence “Spending has slightly changed”, which idea is more important--the
‘smallness’, or the change? I think, maybe, the most important idea goes first. (Compare:
“I want to quickly run to the store.” I’ll only be inside the store for a minute to buy
‘token’—and chances are I won’t be running there, but driving or walking quickly.)