The more a woman feels you are like her, the more comfortable opening up to you she

feels, because she sees the two of you as being the same.

The ideal situation for helping a woman open up to you is to reveal little about yourself,
only revealing aspects of yourself and your past that match what she reveals to you, to
further her bonding with you.

Main focus in conversation should always be on the woman, and the main focus of a focus
on the woman should be on her strong emotional topics – childhood, dreams, stories, hopes,
motivation, past relationships, goals and aspirations, things that are currently exciting her or
frustrating her in life right now.

Being non-judgmental is the cornerstone to getting women to open up to you – people can
sense how judgmental another person is, and the more open they sense you are, the more
likely they are to be open and honest with you.

Be an active listener. The strongest men are not the men who talk – they are the men who
listen.

Here's one more invaluable piece of info on what connecting to people really is all about: it's
about getting them telling you about themselves. How connected to you a given person
feels has nothing to do with how well that person knows you, and everything to do with how
well that person thinks you know her. Which means that the more she tells you about her,
the more connected to you she feels.

Ask the right questions. Some of the most powerful questions you can ask are:

• “What do you like about that?”

• “Why did you decide to do that?”
• “Why are you doing XYZ instead of ABC?”
• “If you could do anything else instead of XYZ, what would it be?”

Always try to relate whenever possible to what people tell you. So when someone says, “I'm
from Portland,” you can say, “No way, I have a really good friend from there. It's rare to
meet people from Oregon. How'd you find your way down here?”

I would say a good rule of thumb is to relate on things that you sense someone else might be
slightly embarrassed about. Remember, relating is how you make people feel good.

The better you relate, the more people will feel like you “get” them, and the more they will
want to tell you about themselves to help you understand them even better.

Offer more detail. The number one reason people can't get past small talk is a failure to get
enough information to make conversation on.