Mackenzie Glaser

Honors 455

Reflections

Spring Semester 2020

January 14th 2020

This week I was adjusting to my first week on campus. I found it really hard to get

around and hard to decide who I wanted to hang out with and what I wanted to be involved in.

Overall, this week I felt like a freshman in college all over again. I had to go to a bunch of

orientation events and meet new friends. I also found it hard to balance my life here and at home.

I feel as if this week was my footing week. I had to decide to live more in the moment here rather

than focus on talking to my friends back home because I was nervous and unsure of my fellow

study abroad students. I found that I had to just let go a bit of life back home and try to take in

my peers and options. I think that this was important because I felt as if I needed to choose what

was important to me and who embodied that as a friend group. At first, I was extremely

overwhelmed with options. Overall, this led me to just trust myself and let go of what was

familiar and safe for me.

January 21st 2020

This week was a whirlwind for me. I felt as if the week with classes came a little fast. It

was a lot to deal with navigating where my classes were and the style of class. The classes are a

lot longer and larger than I was used to. This also was the week where I experienced a lot of the

growing pains of moving to another country. I felt as if everything was very overwhelming and

that I couldn’t do anything right. I was fed up with feeling self conscious and feeling as if I

needed to go to all the events in order to not miss out. I decided to take time out in order to get
my footing and to talk to people from home in order to combat this. I learned to be able to listen

to what I want as well as notice some things that might be a necessary evil for my time abroad in

order to acclimate. I feel as if this experience is a lot of self reflection as to what I need and what

I want and being able to balance them.

January 28th 2020

This week I decided to get more involved in hunkering down for school. I feel as up until

this point I felt as if I was still in vacation mode. I decided I needed to schedule more of my

week in order to balance my new life at this university and be able to succeed. I also signed up

for an extracurricular french class. I went to it and I found that it is an extremely underutilized

resource on campus. I also thought that it was hard to get back into the language class as a whole

because I haven’t taken a structured class in about a year. Overall this week again was one of

being very self reflective and deciding what I should schedule in in order to be successful and be

in a positive mental state. I also found that I needed to look at what I needed to do for myself

instead of what others wanted from me as others wanted to go out to social events.

February 4th 2020

This has been the week where I have struggled to really get into school and the different

structure. I noticed there is little to no homework or outside reading assigned, but an expectation

to read a great deal out of class about the subject being learned. It has been challenging deciding

what to read and do to best prepare for classes. I recently created a planner that I used to portion

out chapters to read as well as extra goals for french, honors, ESO social media coordinator and

extra projects to complete. I have found it extremely helpful in getting myself back in school

mode. I however did not expect the reactions from others. I have found that I am an anomaly in

terms of reading. When talking to my flatmates I discovered that they do little outside reading
when it does not have to do with the few assignments that are due. I found this interesting as it is

very different in America. I also feel as if there is a difference in knowledge levels. I feel as if

English students are expected to know knowledge and use it in later classes where american

students only use it for tests. I think that this is due to the setup of major programs. In England

there is a program and it has a very specific course list that you have to take in a certain order. I

think that this promotes using prior knowledge in later classes and being able to build on it as

your degree goes on. In America where it is much more up loose, you are not expected to use

prior knowledge as different students have very different backgrounds. I believe this is both a

strength and a weakness. We have more freedom to learn what we want to learn, but are not able

to use very specific prior knowledge in the future which is therefore not bolstered by repetition. I

think that this might be more applicable to some majors rather than others but I believe it is

something to take into consideration. Another aspect that is a little different is the profound

expectation to use critical thinking rather than be able to regurgitate information. I feel as if there

is more of a focus on critical thinking skills in England rather than some places. It definitely was

not something I thought of before as a student that has studied in America all her life.

February 11th 2020

This week has been interesting. I really have been trying to decide how I best want to

spend my time abroad. I have had the opportunity to go out a lot with others to social events. I

have had to weigh options about what events or things I wanted to invest my time in. I have had

to look into my time as my own even more so than I would in the United States. I feel as if you

have more free time and less mandatory requirements. This leads to me having to decide how

much I want to invest in everything. I saw that I needed to set boundaries for myself and focus

on developing my learning and having a time and place for social events. This also allowed me
to spend more time interacting with others face to face in a way where I did not feel stressed

about school as well.

February 18th 2020

During this week I have chosen to reflect on an experience I had during my intermediate

french class. To start out, my french class is two hours every week where we work on exercises

and work on our french. I am in a class with only one other student and two adult learners. They

all also know more than one additional language.

I am choosing to reflect on this class because I felt so out of my element and feel as if

others are quicker to pick up things. I also was intimidated because of the fact that they all know

more than one other language and have had to use those languages where they lived at one point.

It made me realize how it isn’t a priority in our society to learn a second or even third language.

It is encouraged for sure, but it isn’t something most people do.

This class has opened my eyes to how important it is to learn another language in order to

promote a level of understanding between others and as something that connects us. The concept

of language is something so unique in terms of structure, I believe that it says a lot about the

culture and their values. I also see this in words that a language decides to produce for a certain

term, or the lack thereof. I was thinking of this when we were going over tenses and thinking of

the recent creation of a specific gender neutral pronoun and how languages change and adapt

over time. This shows me the resilience of a language that is spoken on every continent in the

world.

This specific example of other countries being encouraged to learn multiple languages is

one that I will carry with me. This experience made me realize how it is important to be able to

extend a hand and not expect everyone to learn english to fit into our system in america. While
english is a fast growing language, there needs to be a reciprocation of us learning other

languages as well. I think the fact that we are more unwilling to learn languages reflects our

history and how we are the conquerors and expect people to meld to what we want as a nation as

we are a great power. I also believe this has to do with a sense of pride we have not only as a

nation, but as people in general. Learning another language is a hard process, especially as a

second language and/or learning as an adult. This is something that is against what people are

turning more toward, convenience. We value convenience more times than not and it is making

everything too simplified.

This experience has given me a stronger appreciation for working hard for something

when it would be easier to give up. I also realized that pride isn’t everything, being bad at

something is okay as long as you keep trying. Learning another language is something that I am

working toward and I am not great at it, I will admit, but I am trying and find it worth it to try to

bridge the gap between myself and other cultures. I value this skill because it will help me

understand the words between the lines of the language.

February 25th 2020

For this week I wanted to reflect on the experience of hitting that wall where I felt

homesick. This came about when I started thinking more about the food I ate. I did not like it as

much and wanted to have some from home, such as tater tot hotdish. I also started thinking about

things that I missed from back home that I could be doing with my friends. This led to me

wishing I would be in an environment where I was more comfortable with my surroundings and

the people I was around. This feeling was something I was not expecting. With further reflection

on this feeling I realized how others in a similar situation must be feeling. This is a feeling that

has made it hard to concentrate on schooling and has affected my overall mood. In the future I
plan on thinking back on this feeling when I interact with someone who may be in an unfamiliar

environment and may be stressed. I also plan on using this to be able to acknowledge this feeling

in myself in the future and be able to respond to it. I respond to it by talking to people from home

as well as looking at all of the great things I am doing here. I think being able to adapt is very

important and is a skill I am learning whilst I am here. This will be helpful in the future when I

maybe live in a different place.

March 3rd 2020

In this reflection I will be talking about a personal pet peeve I have encountered while

being abroad. I have encountered the excuse of being american being used frequently. I came

into contact with this ideal in some of my classes and in everyday life in some other students

studying abroad. They continually make excuses in order to be let off the hook for not doing as

well or thinking they will do worse at something. This got me thinking how it reflects on the rest

of us if people are making these comments about americans. I got to thinking about how

comments can do a lot to shape the overall view of a group of people. I also thought about how

saying these things can be a self fulfilling prophecy. Saying these things gives the illusion that

they will do worse and from my personal experience this is true. I understand why this excuse is

used. They might want to set expectations low in order to seem better or they might be scared of

failing. I get that that may be a motivation in making that excuse however, I believe that that will

not allow you to learn from the experience and grow from it. I also acknowledge that this may be

their way to ask for more help and resources. I do believe that there are better ways to do this

than reinforcing a stereotype as an american citizen. In the future this experience will allow me

to not make the same mistake and not make excuses for myself. This will allow me to not expect
less than what I am capable of. I also will be able to achieve more by not using my nationality as

a crutch.

March 17th 2020 stress

This week has been crazy to say the least. Within the last few weeks COVID-19 has

really taken off and become a serious threat to my study abroad experience. Multiple of my

friends have been sent home from their universities as well as my classes have been moved

online amongst the other precautions that have been put in place. This has caused a great deal of

stress on my behalf and, I am sure, for many other people as well. This has caused me to be very

unfocused and anxious a great deal of the time. It also has caused me to be entirely grateful for

every moment I have left in my overseas program.

During this experience it allowed me to think about how this experience has made me

exponentially more resilient. I have to go through these unprecedented and stressful experiences

while abroad and while making my own decisions. I also was thinking about how I have pushed

through all of these feelings of being unable to control things and the emotions of having to say

goodbye to friends too soon. I worked through these and still attended classes and did what was

required of me. I am not saying that it was not difficult, but I made it through which I am

extremely proud of. This week of experiences are something I will carry with me in terms of

resilience as well as flexibility. I wish also to keep this in mind in the future when I am tasked

with something that I believe I am not strong enough to get through.

March 24th 2020 coming home

This week I have just returned home from studying abroad. I have had to go through last

minute flight changes as well as adjusting to being at home in self isolation. I have been keeping

myself busy and being thankful that I made it home safely. Throughout self isolation I have been
able to look at things I wish to accomplish and have made it a priority to create a checklist for

myself in order to create structure for myself.

Self isolation has given myself a chance to reflect on what I want for myself and how to

keep myself healthy during this time. This has been present in my check list of things to get done

every day. It made me reflect on how this time of not being able to go out or get certain

resources can be detrimental to some people. I have seen it in friends and strangers who are

struggling mentally with the times. It also is present in what people decide is necessary. I was

thinking about how child care programs were shut down and how that may be bad for people

who need childcare in order to work. I also see it in drug treatment facilities being shut down and

how that can affect others. I really got to see what the government prioritizes. This was equally

disheartening as well as enlightening, seeing how community members responded. This event

has brought out amazing qualities in a lot of people as well as a lot of philanthropy. It made me

wonder what prevented people from doing this before? It makes me question how we can go

back to a society that is so individual again given what happened.