I lived for 17 years of my life in India and moved to the United States 5 months ago.

I have to
say I’m still in a state of culture shock. I have the cereal aisle at Walmart to thank for that. One
of the other things that surprised me was being greeted by random strangers on the street. The
first time someone asked me “Hey, how are you?” my brain froze and a flurry of questions like
“Do I know this man?” and “Why is he asking me this, what did I do?” popped into my head until
I later realized that was just part of American culture to be friendly.

As I immersed myself into American society and culture, there were so many differences I have
had to wrap my head around but one of the most shocking differences to me is the Indian sense
of family and community versus American individualism. For example, Indians are brought up
with the ideals of family instilled in their minds. In fact, in the pledge, it says हम सब भारत वासी
भाई-बहन है which means that all Indians are my brothers or sisters. We emphasize family
integrity, loyalty, and unity. If you needed to borrow cilantro from your neighbor you would come
back with a box full of sweets, dinner for the next 3 days, and life advice that will stick by you
forever. In Indian culture, when a kid becomes an adult, the whole family sits down with the child
and together they decide the child’s career, who they are going to marry, and other life goals.
You don’t really make an independent decision. Here in America, a young adult finds his own
path to achieve his goals and ambitions.

Thus, when my school counselor in America arranged a meeting to help me work on college
applications, my first instinct was to let my mother meet and talk to the counselor and make
decisions for me. Schools in India actually operate that way, with the parents having the first
choice over their child’s career options. When my counselor met with my mother she asked: “I
understand Mrs. Joseph that this is what YOU want Jonathan to do, but where is Jonathan,
what does HE want to do?”, “What are HIS opinions and thoughts on this?” I have to say that I
think my mother was stunned into silence at this. On my part, when this question was posed to
me I became tongue-tied and confused. I was suddenly thrown into decision making after 17
years of being told what to do! This experience was my first introduction to the fact that
America has such a strong sense of individualism where one’s expression of opinions and ideas
are emphasized and highly-priced.

While my family is definitely looking out for what’s best for me, being aware of my independence
of choice will help me achieve my full potential. Moving here has opened up a world of endless
opportunities and options that were not available to me back in India. Being able to exercise my
newfound freedom to make decisions for myself, will help me achieve my goals and ambitions
and live MY dreams, not anyone else’s.

My Indian upbringing has made me realize the importance of family and community. It has
taught me to always look out not just for myself, but for others as well. However, coming to
America has made me realize that my opinion matters and that being heard is very self-
affirming. I have learned how to be more vocal on things that I disagree with. I got rid of the
fear of actually communicating my perspective and this has become a great confidence and
morale booster. I can definitely say that I am on the path of understanding who I am, what my
thoughts are, and how I can carve out my destiny on my own. Thank you.