Crazy Glue
By Etgar Teret
She said, “Don’t touch it,” and I asked, “What
is it?” “It’s glue,” she said. “Special glue. Super
glue.” And I asked: “What did you buy that
for?” “Because I need it,” she said. ‘I’ve got lots
of things to glue together.” “There’s nothing
that needs gluing together,” I snapped. “I can’t
understand why you buy all this crap.” “The
same reason I married you,” she shot back, “to
kill time.” I didn’t feel like getting into a fight,
so I kept quiet, and so did she. “Is it any good,
this glue?” I asked. She showed me the picture
on the box with this guy hanging upside down
from the ceiling after someone had smeared
some glue on the soles of his shoes. “No glue
can make a person stick like that,” I said. “They
took the picture upside down. He’s standing
on the floor. They just stuck a light fixture in the
floor to make it look like a ceiling. You can tell
right away by the way the window looks. They
put the clasp on the blinds backwards. Take a
look.” I pointed at the window in the picture.
She didn’t look. “It’s eight already,” I said,
“I’ve got to run.” I picked up my briefcase and
kissed her on the cheek. “I’ll be back late. I’m—
” “I know.” she snapped. “You’re swamped.”
I called Mindy from the office. “I can’t make
it today,” I said. “I’ve got to be home early.”
“How come? Is anything the matter?” No. I
mean, yeah. I think she suspects something.”
There was a long silence. I could hear Mindy
breathing on the other end. ‘I don’t see why
you stay with her,” she whispered in the end.
“The two of you never do anything. You don’t
even bother fighting anymore. I can’t figure out
why you go on like this. I just don’t get what’s
holding you together. I don’t get it,” she said
again. “I simply don’t get it…” and she started
crying. “Don’t cry, Mindy,” I told her. “Listen,”
I lied. “Somebody just came in, I’ve got to go.
I’ll come over tomorrow, promise. We’ll talk
then.” I got home early. I called out hello when
I walked in the door, but there was no reply. I
went from room to room. She wasn’t in any of
them. On the kitchen table I found the tube of
glue, com­pletely empty. I tried to pull one of
the chairs out, to sit down. It didn’t budge, I
tried again. Stuck. She’d glued it to the floor.
The fridge wouldn’t open. She’d glued it shut.
I couldn’t see why she’d pull a stunt like this.
She’d always seemed reasonably sane. This
just wasn’t like her. I went into the living room
to get the phone. I thought she might have
gone to her mother’s. I couldn’t lift the receiver.
She’d glued that down too. Furious, I kicked at
the telephone table and almost broke my toe.
The table didn’t budge. Thai’s when I heard
her laughing. It was coining from up above me.
I looked, and there she was, hanging upside
down, her bare feet clinging to the high living
room ceiling. I looked at her, stunned. “What
the fuck. Have you lost your mind?” She didn’t
answer, just smiled. Her smile seemed so
natural, the way she was hanging, as if just
her lips were subject to gravity. “Don’t worry,”
I said. “I’ll get you down,” and I pulled some
books off the shelf. I stacked up a few volumes
of the encyclopedia and got on top of the pile.
“This may hurt a little,” I said, trying to keep my
balance. She went on smiling. I pulled as hard
as I could, but nothing happened. Carefully, I
climbed down. “Don’t worry,” I said. “I’ll go to
the neighbors to phone for help.” “Fine,” she
said and laughed. “I’m not going anywhere.”
By then I was laughing too. She was so pretty,
and so incongruous, hanging upside down
from the ceiling that way. With her long hair
dangling downward, and her breasts molded
like two per­ fect teardrops under her white
T-shirt. So pretty. I climbed back up onto the
pile of books and kissed her. I felt her tongue
on mine. The books slipped out from under
my feet as I hung there in midair, not touching
a thing, dangling from just her lips.

Crazy Glue by Etgar Teret
She said, “Don’t touch it,” and I asked, “Whatis
it?” “It’s glue,” she said. “Special glue. Super
glue.” And I asked: “What did you buy that
for?” “Because I need it,” she said. ‘I’ve got lots
of things to glue together.” “There’s nothing
that needs gluing together,” I snapped. “I can’t
understand why you buy all this crap.” “The
same reason I married you,” she shot back, “to
kill time.” I didn’t feel like getting into a fight,
so I kept quiet, and so did she. “Is it any good,
this glue?” I asked. She showed me the picture
on the box with this guy hanging upside down
from the ceiling after someone had smeared
some glue on the soles of his shoes. “No glue
can make a person stick like that,” I said. “They
took the picture upside down. He’s standing
on the floor. They just stuck a light fixture in
the floor to make it look like a ceiling. You can
tell right away by the way the window looks.
They put the clasp on the blinds backwards.
Take a look.” I pointed at the window in the
picture. She didn’t look. “It’s eight already,” I
said, “I’ve got to run.” I picked up my briefcase
and kissed her on the cheek. “I’ll be back late.
I’m—” “I know.” she snapped. “You’re swamped.”
I called Mindy from the office. “I can’t make
it today,” I said. “I’ve got to be home early.”
“How come? Is anything the matter?” No. I
mean, yeah. I think she suspects something.”
There was a long silence. I could hear Mindy
breathing on the other end. ‘I don’t see why
you stay with her,” she whispered in the end.
“The two of you never do anything. You don’t
even bother fighting anymore. I can’t figure
out why you go on like this. I just don’t get
what’s holding you together. I don’t get it,”
she said again. “I simply don’t get it…” and she
started crying. “Don’t cry, Mindy,” I told her.
“Listen,” I lied. “Somebody just came in, I’ve climbed down. “Don’t worry,” I said. “I’ll go to
got to go. I’ll come over tomorrow, promise. the neighbors to phone for help.” “Fine,” she
We’ll talk then.” I got home early. I called out said and laughed. “I’m not going anywhere.” By
hello when I walked in the door, but there was then I was laughing too. She was so pretty,
no reply. I went from room to room. She wasn’t and so incongruous, hanging upside down
in any of them. On the kitchen table I found from the ceiling that way. With her long hair
the tube of glue, com­p letely empty. I tried to dangling downward, and her breasts molded
pull one of the chairs out, to sit down. It didn’t like two per­fect teardrops under her white
budge, I tried again. Stuck. She’d glued it to the T-shirt. So pretty. I climbed back up onto the
floor. The fridge wouldn’t open. She’d glued it pile of books and kissed her. I felt her tongue
shut. I couldn’t see why she’d pull a stunt like on mine. The books slipped out from under my
this. She’d always seemed reasonably sane.
This just wasn’t like her. I went into the living
feet as I hung there in midair, not touching a
thing, dangling from just her lips.
room to get the phone. I thought she might
have gone to her mother’s. I couldn’t lift the
receiver. She’d glued that down too. Furious, I
kicked at the telephone table and almost broke
my toe. The table didn’t budge. Thai’s when
I heard her laughing. It was coining from up
above me. I looked, and there she was, hanging
upside down, her bare feet clinging to the high
living room ceiling. I looked at her, stunned.
“What the fuck. Have you lost your mind?” She
didn’t answer, just smiled. Her smile seemed
so natural, the way she was hanging, as if just
her lips were subject to gravity. “Don’t worry,”
I said. “I’ll get you down,” and I pulled some
books off the shelf. I stacked up a few volumes
of the encyclopedia and got on top of the pile.
“This may hurt a little,” I said, trying to keep my
balance. She went on smiling. I pulled as hard
as I could, but nothing happened. Carefully, I

She said, “Don’t touch it,”
and I asked, “What is it?” “It’s
glue,” she said. “Special glue.
Super glue.” And I asked:
“What did you buy that for?”
“Because I need it,” she said.
‘I’ve got lots of things to glue
together.” “There’s nothing
that needs gluing together,” I
snapped. “I can’t understand
why you buy all this crap.”
“The same reason I married
you,” she shot back, “to kill
time.” I didn’t feel like getting
into a fight, so I kept quiet, and
so did she. “Is it any good, this
glue?” I asked. She showed
me the picture on the box
with this guy hanging upside
down from the ceiling after
someone had smeared some
glue on the soles of his shoes.
“No glue can make a person
stick like that,” I said. “They
took the picture upside down.
He’s standing on the floor.
They just stuck a light fixture
in the floor to make it look
like a ceiling. You can tell right
away by the way the window
looks. They put the clasp on
the blinds backwards. Take a
look.” I pointed at the window
in the picture. She didn’t look.
“It’s eight already,” I said, “I’ve
got to run.” I picked up my
briefcase and kissed her on
the cheek. “I’ll be back late.
I’m—” “I know.” she snapped.
“You’re swamped.” I called
Mindy from the office. “I
can’t make it today,” I said.
“I’ve got to be home early.”
“How come? Is anything
the matter?” No. I mean,
yeah. I think she suspects
something.” There was a
long silence. I could hear
Mindy breathing on the
other end. ‘I don’t see
why you stay with her,”
she whispered in the end.
“The two of you never do
anything. You don’t even
bother fighting anymore. I
can’t figure out why you go
on like this. I just don’t get
what’s holding you together.
I don’t get it,” she said again.
“I simply don’t get it…” and
she started crying. “Don’t
cry, Mindy,” Ia told her.
“Listen,” I lied. “Somebody
just came in, I’ve got to go.
I’ll come over tomorrow,
promise. We’ll talk then.”
I got home early. I called
out hello when I walked in
the door, but there was no
reply. I went from room to
room. She wasn’t in any of
them. On the kitchen table
I found the tube of glue,
com­pletely empty. I tried to
pull one of the chairs out,
to sit down. It didn’t budge,
I tried again. Stuck. She’d
glued it to the floor. The
fridge wouldn’t open. She’d
glued it shut. I couldn’t see
why she’d pull a stunt like
this. She’d always seemed
reasonably sane. This just
wasn’t like her. I went into
the living room to get the
phone. I thought she might
have gone to her mother’s.
I couldn’t lift the receiver.
She’d glued that down too.
Furious, I kicked at the
telephone table and almost
broke my toe. The table didn’t
budge. Thai’s when I heard
her laughing. It was coining
from up above me. I looked,
and there she was, hanging
upside down, her bare feet
clinging to the high living
room ceiling. I looked at her,
stunned. “What the fuck.
Have you lost your mind?” She
didn’t answer, just smiled. Her
smile seemed so natural, the
way she was hanging, as if just
her lips were subject to gravity.
“Don’t worry,” I said. “I’ll get
you down,” and I pulled some
books off the shelf. I stacked
up a few volumes of the
encyclopedia and got on top
of the pile. “This may hurt a
little,” I said, trying to keep my
balance. She went on smiling.
I pulled as hard as I could, but
nothing happened. Carefully, I
climbed down. “Don’t worry,”
I said. “I’ll go to the neighbors
to phone for help.” “Fine,” she
said and laughed. “I’m not
going anywhere.” By then I
was laughing too. She was so
pretty, and so incongruous,
hanging upside down from
the ceiling that way. With her
long hair dangling downward,
and her breasts molded like
two per­ fect teardrops under
her white T-shirt. So pretty.
I climbed back up onto the
pile of books and kissed her.
I felt her tongue on mine. The
books slipped out from under
my feet as I hung there in
midair, not touching a thing,
dangling from just her lips.
Crazy
Glue By Etgar Teret
She said, “Don’t touch it,” and I
asked, “What is it?” “It’s glue,” she
said. “Special glue. Super glue.”
And I asked: “What did you buy
that for?” “Because I need it,” she
said. ‘I’ve got lots of things to glue
together.” “There’s nothing that
needs gluing together,” I snapped.
“I can’t understand why you buy
all this crap.” “The same reason I
married you,” she shot back, “to kill
time.” I didn’t feel like getting into
a fight, so I kept quiet, and so did
she. “Is it any good, this glue?” I
asked. She showed me the picture
on the box with this guy hanging
upside down from the ceiling
after someone had smeared some
glue on the soles of his shoes.
“No glue can make a person stick
like that,” I said. “They took the
picture upside down. He’s standing
on the floor. They just stuck a
light fixture in the floor to make
it look like a ceiling. You can tell
right away by the way the window
looks. They put the clasp on the
blinds backwards. Take a look.”
I pointed at the window in the
picture. She didn’t look. “It’s eight
already,” I said, “I’ve got to run.” I
picked up my briefcase and kissed
her on the cheek. “I’ll be back
late. I’m—” “I know.” she snapped.
“You’re swamped.” I called Mindy
from the office. “I can’t make it
today,” I said. “I’ve got to be home
early.” “How come? Is anything
the matter?” No. I mean, yeah. I
think she suspects something.”
There was a long silence. I could
hear Mindy breathing on the other
end. ‘I don’t see why you stay with
her,” she whispered in the end.
“The two of you never do anything.
You don’t even bother fighting
anymore. I can’t figure out why
you go on like this. I just don’t get
what’s holding you together. I don’t
get it,” she said again. “I simply
don’t get it…” and she started
crying. “Don’t cry, Mindy,” I told
her. “Listen,” I lied. “Somebody
just came in, I’ve got to go. I’ll
come over tomorrow, promise.
We’ll talk then.” I got home early.
I called out hello when I walked
in the door, but there was no
reply. I went from room to room.
She wasn’t in any of them. On the
kitchen table I found the tube of
glue, com­pletely empty. I tried to
pull one of the chairs out, to sit
down. It didn’t budge, I tried again.
Stuck. She’d glued it to the floor.
The fridge wouldn’t open. She’d
glued it shut. I couldn’t see why
she’d pull a stunt like this. She’d
always seemed reasonably sane.
This just wasn’t like her. I went
into the living room to get the
phone. I thought she might have
gone to her mother’s. I couldn’t
lift the receiver. She’d glued that
down too. Furious, I kicked at the
telephone table and almost broke
my toe. The table didn’t budge.
Thai’s when I heard her laughing.
It was coining from up above me. I
looked, and there she was, hanging
upside down, her bare feet
clinging to the high living room
ceiling. I looked at her, stunned.
“What the fuck. Have you lost
your mind?” She didn’t answer,
just smiled. Her smile seemed so
natural, the way she was hanging,
as if just her lips were subject to
gravity. “Don’t worry,” I said. “I’ll
get you down,” and I pulled some
books off the shelf. I stacked up a
few volumes of the encyclopedia
and got on top of the pile. “This
may hurt a little,” I said, trying
to keep my balance. She went on
smiling. I pulled as hard as I could,
but nothing happened. Carefully,
I climbed down. “Don’t worry,”
I said. “I’ll go to the neighbors
to phone for help.” “Fine,” she
said and laughed. “I’m not going
anywhere.” By then I was laughing
too. She was so pretty, and so
incongruous, hanging upside down
from the ceiling that way. With her
long hair dangling downward, and
her breasts molded like two per­fect
teardrops under her white
T-shirt. So pretty. I climbed
back up onto the pile of books
and kissed her. I felt her
tongue on mine. The books
slipped out from under my
feet as I hung there in midair,
not touching a thing, dangling
from just her lips.
RED
daance
gardening for everyone
PURPLE
BANANAS
Something about flowers
Ferris Wheels
The Blue Monkey
I started by creating an indesign document and laying out my own
guides. When I was happy with the size of my columns and the
layout, it was time to bring in the text. I justified the type to give
it a neat and clean finish. Now, I went into Illustartor and used my
sketches to create the graphics. For this design I created a glue
bottle head and string of crazy glue. It truned out great!

This layout required lots of careful planning. I worked hard to have

the type interact with the graphics. Playing with height and levels
was key to this design. After creating the images in illustartor,
I began to mess with the page arrangement. I’m still deciding
if I have too many images for this layout. I can’t tell if it’s fully
balanced.

I really like the idea of working the text around things glued to the
ceiling. I created graphics in illustrator so I had plenty of shapes to
work with. I wanted to play with having a graphic underneath the
text at the end. I think it creates a more balanced finished. For this
one, I kept the title in bold, but still pretty simple compared to my
next spread.

I had a lot of fun playing with size and scale for this layout. I
wanted the type to feel like it was lifting up the superglue. While,
the columns aren’t symmetical in height, i think the composition
still has balance. I’m excited to get feedback on this one.