Kakolewski 1

Leatrice Kakolewski

Mrs. Cramer

Comp. Pd 3

6 April 2021

Does Romance Live Up to The Movies?

A picnic on a hill surrounded the dying light of the sun. Your partner by your side with

no worries in sight. It is something straight out of a rom-com, a touching jester of the two’s love

for one another. Who doesn’t want to experience something as romantic and endearing as that?

Romantic comedies are a staple in various mediums, with their typical light-hearted nature

almost everyone enjoys a rom-com now and then. However, there seems to be the emerging idea

that rom-coms are setting up people with false hopes of what their future romantic endeavors

will look like. Although some people believe romantic comedies give singles unrealistic

expectations, they actually do the opposite by providing creative ideas for relationships and hope

for a romantic future.

To begin with, rom-coms help create a sort of blue-print of different activities for couples

to do to create memories and deepen their connection with each other. Many people look back on

romantic comedies as movies full of romantic endeavors that many are envious of and wish to

experience themselves. In one such rom-com, To All the Boys I’ve Ever Loved Before, we follow

the protagonist’s, Lara Jean, life suddenly becomes the plot of a romantic comedy. Over the

course of the 3 movies in the series, following the plot line of the book series, LJ and her love

interest, Peter, go on various adventures; between bowling, going to ski resorts, to going to New

York City the couple hasn’t had any lame experiences yet, living every teenager’s dream. This is
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every teenager’s dream, having someone by their side throughout the craziness of high school

life while taking advantage of every school event. While it might seem simple, these basic

activities are often overlooked but still can offer quality time for couple to get to know the other.

Another rom-com, while it may not be a movie, is the newer book, Only Mostly Devastated, in

which draws inspiration from classic romantic comedies like Grease that anybody would swoon

over. With being filled to the brim of depictions of classic high school experiences with modern

twists and turns, the audience can find themselves within the main character, Ollie and wanting

to experience all of the things too. While the main couple may not be explicitly together for most

of the book, it’s the idea that they’re there together that many will envy and want to experience

for themselves. Everyone wants someone who will stay by their side through thick and thin,

someone who you can spend time with to experience the various opportunities. Rom-coms can

inspire couples to spend time with one another and can assist/motivate couples in their endeavors

to further their knowledge of the other.

Rather, it is argued by some that rom-coms can lead couples into the trap of trying to

force their relationship to replicate the movies, stunting all-natural development in their

relationship. Although this may be true to a certain extent, many couples draw inspirations for

their dates from rom-coms; while it may be cliché, just experiencing new experiences as a couple

can help deepen their connection to one another. Romantic comedy movies and literature are

filled to the brim with a multitude of various romantic adventures, which can help deepen the

couple’s attachment. While it may just seem like a re-creation of a scene from a movie or book,

that’s not always the case as that wouldn’t be true to the real-life couple. Rather than trying to

force something to be movie-perfect, couples can use these opportunities to experience

something new with someone they want to get to understand. When experiencing something
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new, most will remember those that were with them for that experience. These dates can provide

couples with a way to get to know each other in ways they wouldn't have otherwise known. In

order to truly understand a person, one must notice the little details that make up that person;

what’s a better way to get to know someone than experiencing what life has to offer with them?

Thus, leading out from the idea that couples are stuck trying to live out expectations they had

taken from romcoms. There is also a proven correlation of romantic comedies and the

development of false unrealistic expectations being false when studying the individuals' beliefs

after consuming idealistic content. When tested for it was found that instead, many individuals

were led to have increased romantic beliefs after viewing content, such as romantic comedies.

(Hefner) This study upends the belief that genres such as rom-coms set people up with

unrealistic presumptions and beliefs and also pointed out that romcoms can even help improve

life satisfaction of the viewers. Romantic comedies help provide opportunities for increased

romantic beliefs, opportunities, and hope for romantic futures, rather than setting up false

expectations.

Alternatively, some people contend that romantic comedies provide a false image of how

relationships are, as often the arguments and disputes that the couples go through are not handled

realistically. However, rom-coms are not meant to typically tackle serious issues seriously; often,

rom-coms go for lighter topics that can be handled in a more comedic way. Also, in events where

a more serious topic is handled, the couples are shown handling these conflicts more realistically

while still trying to keep the comedy part of the genre alive. Comedy movies are not geared

towards handling serious relationship issues, the seriousness of those situations can take all

possible humor out of the movie if done wrong. Lighter topics are preferred typically because

they’re something that most couples can sympathize with, as minor arguments and issues are
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something that many couples will experience throughout their relationship. The couples come

out at the end together, having been able to overcome their struggles by working together

through their problems. While this reality may not apply to all couples, a multitude of couples

can work through more serious problems with communication. As well in cases where issues

can’t be solved with communication and work from both parties, that relationship isn’t worth its

troubles. In cases where rom-coms are used to tackle more serious problems in a lighter setting,

the audience is shown the reality that not all relationships last. Sometimes no matter how hard

two people can work to make a relationship work, sometimes it's not feasible to keep that

relationship, or whatever the connection is, going. This is a reality that few rom-coms depict, but

it is represented in some. Viewers and readers alike can take away the message of how most

relationships will face struggles and are able to take away a realistic representation of how

relationships can function in the real world.

Lastly, romantic Comedies are known for displaying how hardships can occur in any

relationship and how most couples can make it through those struggles together, which helps

encourage hope for romantic futures. One classic rom-com plot has the main couple go through a

struggle that seems like it will tear the two apart, but then the two emerge together stronger than

ever. One classic rom-com, 13 Going on 30, bends this classic plot a little whereas the two main

love interests are not together for most of the movies; rather the two characters hover around

each other while their feelings for each other become more and more apparent as the movie goes

on. The main character, Jenna, gets transported to her life as a 30-year-old if she had distanced

herself from her best friend Matt. Through Jenna’s struggles of trying to understand her life as a

30-year-old, Jenna is left with the emptiness of her life without people who truly cared about like

Matt. Jenna is left to learn the lesson of being true to herself and those who love her, and she is
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able to fix the root of the problem when she finally gets transported back to her 13-year-old self.

Where, as is expected, Jenna ends up with Matt and they happily get married when they grow up.

While the main couple may not be together for most of the movie, the viewers get to watch as

two people who deeply care for each other have to navigate their lives without each other in it

and see how they reconcile that distance. Thus, helping to encourage the belief that even if their

romantic endeavors may look bleak, there is hope that still exists for them yet. Another movie

that fits this idea is The Half of It. While it may not fit the traditional rom-com stereotype, the

movie is still full of funny hijinks with the main characters; this movie, however, depicts a more

realistic version of the struggles that teenagers may face in their romantic lives. The movie

follows smart but struggling Ellie Chu as she strikes up a deal with a jock, Paul Musky, from

school, where she’ll ghost write love letters to his crush, Aster Flores, to help her fall in love

with him. Along the way Ellie starts to befriend Paul and slowly falls in love with Aster as she

writes back, and the love letters continue. Trouble is found in the town being heavily religious

and when Ellie and Paul’s secret is revealed. While this movie doesn’t end like other rom-coms

with the main couple ending up together in the end, Ellie and the others reach a realistic closure

given their circumstances. This is important to show viewers that even if two people greatly care

for one another, sometimes they don’t have to end up in a romantic relationship to get what they

needed to learn from being with that person. Not every romantic endeavor will end up in a

relationship, but everyone leaves a lesson that one can learn from. By seeing these various

characters go through their own romantic struggles, viewers take in the idea that no relationship,

romantic or not, goes without its own struggles, but most problems can be fixed through proper

communication and understanding.

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In conclusion, while there is the belief that romantic comedies create impractical

standards for singles, in reality rom-coms do the opposite. Romantic comedies help provide

inspired ideas for couples to do experience together and cultivate the hope for romance in the

future for singles. Whether they’ll admit or not, everyone secretly hopes for a cliché romance of

their own that’s fit for a rom-com, holding onto to hope that romance isn’t dead yet even in

current times.
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Works Cited

Hefner, Veronica. "Does love conquer all? An experiment testing the association between types

of romantic comedy content and reports of romantic beliefs and life satisfaction."

Psychology of Popular Media Culture, vol. 8, no. 4, 2019, pp. 376-84,

https://psycnet.apa.org/doi/10.1037/ppm0000201. Accessed 22 Apr. 2021.