Task 3: Revise a persuasive text: Add logic and evidence

Instructions: The following speech (edited from a student in this course) attempts to

convince the reader that fast food causes obesity. With your partner, edit the text to

improve it. Focus on clarifying logic and adding evidence to support the position

that fast food causes obesity

You should discuss:

1. Language Use: The grammar, spelling, punctuation, word choice or other errors

and how to fix them.

2. Persuasion: How can you make the text more persuasive? What evidence could

be added? Can you make the logic more clear?

3. Writing: How you can improve the writing (the organization, use of cohesion

markers like ‘also’ or ‘therefore’).

You should edit directly on the speech using track changes, which have been turned

on for this document.

When you are finished, you should work together to fill in the table below explaining

the changes you made to the speech. You should upload this document to padlet.

Remember to use English as much as possible during this task! Your partner will rate

your use of English when you finish.

Fast Food Causes Obesity

However, everything have their pros and cons. As to fast food, the pros of consuming
fast food ithat it is quick, tasty and affordable. Meanwhile, the cons of consuming it
will affect our health. It can easily lead us to obesity where our BMI level is too high
and cause our weight unsuitable for our height. It is cause by the excess fats stored in
the meal. Other than that, consumers can easily get diabetes as fast food contain high
sugar level. Even worse, consumers are prone to have stroke and heart attack. When
fast food is consumed in a large amount, it would cause blockage in the blood arteries
which will block the blood flow and disable the brain or heart to receive enough
oxygen and nutrient to function. Not to forget, most fast food contains preservative to
keep it from spoiling which can be bad for our health too if consumed too much. This
shows that there are more disadvantages of consuming fast food.
Summary Table

Topic Summary of changes (how many changes made, why they were made)
Language Use
Persuasion
Writing