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Triple A 1917 Parody Script
Triple A 1917 Parody Script
Triple A
(A 1917 Parody)
By Jackson Roberts
2
The sun is covered by the clouds as DAVID, 14, lays down and is
sleeping on a tree. Across from him, LUCUS, 14, is also
sleeping.
MICHAEL
David, Lucus.
MICHAEL
Guys! Get up!
DAVID
What is it, Michael?
MICHAEL
Henry needs you.
LUCAS
Henry? What does he want with us?
MICHAEL
I don't know, but it sounds important, now come on.
DAVID
C'mon, Lucas, let's get going.
David gets up. He gives Lucas his hand. Lucas grabs it, and gets
up as well.
They start walking away from where they were at. They soon
reveal they were in a huge backyard. They walk past a girl,
SARAH. She was walking in the opposite direction as David and
Lucas. She stops herself and walks with them.
DAVID
3
Hey Sarah.
SARAH
Hey guys! What's Michael bringing you guys inside for?
LUCAS
I don't know, but it involves Henry and apparently it's
important.
SARAH
Really? Henry is wanting to talk to you guys?
LUCAS
Yeah, that doesn't happen much, now does it?
SARAH
No. Man, I haven't talked to Henry since I passed the
test to be part of this group.
LUCAS
Yeah, it's interesting how this all started-
LUCAS
Fine.
LUCAS (CONT'D)
Well Sarah, we better get going.
SARAH
Ok, tell me about it when you're done!
LUCAS
Will do!
Sarah walks away. David looks over at Lucas and laughs a little.
LUCAS
Shut up man!
DAVID
Man, Lucas, it's so obvious now that I know.
LUCAS
4
DAVID
Too late now.
MICHAEL
Took you long enough.
DAVID
It's barely been a minute, don't even!
MICHAEL
Listen, Henry is upstairs-
DAVID
In his room?
MICHAEL
Yeah. He's with Elizebeth or something.
LUCAS
Oh, is she gonna be part of the club now?
MICHAEL
Why? You want to flirt with another girl?
LUCAS
Ok, where do people get this from?
DAVID
(Little sarcasm)
Oh, I don't know, the fact that you act like you're
flirting with every girl you talk to.
LUCAS
That's how I normally talk to people!
Michael and David laugh some more, while Lucas stands there
angrily.
5
MICHAEL
In all seriousness, Henry is wanting you ASAP.
DAVID
Ok, I guess we better get moving.
MICHAEL
Yeah, I guess so.
David leads Lucas into the kitchen. There are a bunch of kids
walking all around the room doing everything from making food,
to messing around.
LUCAS
Man, there's so many kids all at this house, now.
DAVID
Yeah, I know, right?
LUCAS
Like, how many kids do you think we got here now?
DAVID
Man, I couldn't say.
DAVID (CONT'D)
Maybe 40 now.
LUCAS
40? It has to be closer to 50 now.
DAVID
Either way, there's a whole lot of kids.
David and Lucas walk past more kids, all messing around, until
they get to a stairway to the second floor.
6
DAVID
Ok, this is it.
LUCAS
Well, what are we waiting for?
They both look up at the staircase. They are nervous about what
will happen in the room.
LUCAS
Dave, are you nervous about this?
DAVID
(Sarcastic)
What, having the owner of this little club we have call
us up for something important? No, not at all.
MICHAEL
There you guys are!
DAVID
Yeah, here we are.
MICHAEL
Follow me. I'm sure Henry is excited to see you both.
LUCAS
Really?
MICHAEL
No.
LUCAS
Oh.
They walk down the hallway, until they get to a closed door.
Michael stops them before he opens the door.
MICHAEL
Now remember, this is your chance to prove to him that
you're worthy enough for Henry.
Michael laughs.
MICHAEL
Damn, do I love my job.
Michael soon opens the door. David and Lucas both walk inside.
They walk inside to find HENRY, 17, standing there with his back
against the door. Next to him, there's a girl, 16, and two guys,
also 16.
HENRY
David and Lucas?
DAVID
Yes sir. You called us here?
HENRY
Precisely.
LUCAS
So, what do you need us for?
HENRY
You see that TV?
DAVID
8
HENRY
That TV had a universal remote.
LUCAS
What about it?
HENRY
The batteries are dead. Now, it would be easy to
replace them, but the thing is: we don't have any
batteries.
LUCAS
You don't have any batteries in this entire house?
HENRY
No. This remote uses triple A batteries, something we
don't have.
LUCAS
Triple A batteries? What remote uses triple A
batteries?
HENRY
The kind that tricks people on Wish. I'd prefer if we
didn't talk about it.
The other three people laugh at him a little, but Henry snares
at them. They quickly stop laughing.
DAVID
So sir, where do we come into play?
HENRY
Yes, I can't forget that. I need you to go get the
batteries.
DAVID
Do you know where you can find any at?
HENRY
They have some at the general store. Now this is what
I'm going to do: I'm going to let you have my number,
and give you ten dollars each to make sure if one loses
the money, the other person has it.
9
HENRY
If you will, they need to add me on your phones.
DAVID
Oh right.
Both David and Lucas open their phones and give it to the guys.
They put in the number, then gave them back their phones.
HENRY
If you look over to Georgia, she'll give you all the
stuff.
David and Lucas walk over to Georgia. She hands them ten dollars
each in one dollar bills.
HENRY
I'm giving you one dollar bills because if someone
loses a bill, they still have nine dollars.
DAVID
Makes sense to me.
They both get all the money, then they walk back to where they
were.
HENRY
Well guys, I wish you the best of luck.
Soon, Michael opens the door, like he knew the signal to let
them out.
David and Lucas walk out of the door. Michael closes the door
behind them and looks at them both.
MICHAEL
Well, don't die.
10
LUCAS
Wait up!
LUCAS
Hey, slow down, will ya?
LUCAS
Listen, shouldn't we at least talk about this?
DAVID
What is there to talk about?
LUCAS
Listen, I'm just saying-
DAVID
This is our chance to prove to Henry that we can be in
the big leagues. Isn't that what you've been wanting?
LUCAS
Well yes, but-
LUCAS (CONT'D)
David! We need to have a plan!
11
DAVID
Why? We get to the general store, get the batteries,
then get out.
LUCAS
David!
DAVID
What?
LUCAS
The sun is going to set soon! We don't have much time!
DAVID
All the more that we need to get there ASAP!
David starts shoving his way around all the kids as Lucas tries
to follow.
LUCAS
You know my rules!
DAVID
Yes, I do, and we're going to get the batteries before
that happens!
Lucas continues to shove his way around all the kids to get to
David. Finally, they get out of the front door.
They walk out into the front porch. There, they walk past dozens
of kids all around there. There, you can see that they're in a
small town neighborhood.
12
They walk past all the people as they continue down the front
yard.
LUCAS
David!
DAVID
What now?
LUCAS
We need some sort of plan!
DAVID
Like what?
LUCAS
Like, what's the quickest route to get there?
DAVID
I know a general store not too far from here.
LUCAS
How long do you think it'll take?
DAVID
It shouldn't take long.
LUCAS
You have a specific time?
DAVID
I don't know. Like 10 minutes or something. Why are you
so worried?
LUCAS
13
DAVID
We have time.
LUCAS
Let's hope you're right.
LUCAS
Hey, what are you doing?
DAVID
This is the quickest way. We cut through some
backyards, and we cut the time in half.
LUCAS
You sure we should do this?
DAVID
Do you want to leave me behind and not complete this?
LUCAS
Ugh, fine. We can do this.
David smiles.
DAVID
Good, now let's make sure not to get caught.
David jumps up the fence and over. Lucas takes a deep breath in,
and jumps the fence as well.
14
They land into the backyard. They both crouch down as they make
sure they're not caught. They get to the fence of the next
backyard.
They go down the fence and onto the one in front of this
backyard.
That leads them to the next backyard. They do the same and
crouch down. When they get to the end of that backyard, they get
to another one.
They jump it. Everything goes to plan, until someone walks out
the door. It's a KID, 13 years old.
KID
Mom! Just let me do it!
The MOM is heard in the background as both David and Lucas get
into cover.
MOM (O.S.)
Listen honey, you're father and I have talked to you
about this for a while now-
KID
This is not fair!
The kid storms back into the house. Lucas looks over at David.
LUCAS
(Silently)
This is too close of a call!
DAVID
(Silently)
Ok, no more backyards, but because of that, we're going
to have to move fast. Got it?
LUCAS
(Silently)
Got it.
DAVID
(Silently)
Good, now follow me.
LUCAS
David, we have done some stupid stuff in our life, and
that has to be in the top 5.
DAVID
Yeah, I don't think I can disagree with you on that
one.
LUCAS
You know, what would you say is the dumbest thing we've
ever done?
They make it down to the sidewalk. They walk down it, but a
little faster than what they were walking.
DAVID
Let me think about it.
16
DAVID (CONT'D)
Oh, remember Halloween last year?
LUCAS
Oh, right! I remember that!
DAVID
Yeah, that was pretty stupid.
LUCAS
Yeah, I still don't think you should've brought that
parrot to the party.
DAVID
Listen, I thought it would be funny for the prank.
LUCAS
Yeah, and look where that got us?
DAVID
Fair enough.
DAVID
We gotta get going. the sun is not going to be up for
much longer.
LUCAS
David, I told you I wasn't going to make it.
DAVID
Lucas, we have time.
LUCAS
No we don't! I'm not going to make it in time!
DAVID
17
DAVID (CONT'D)
Now c'mon, we need to get going.
They both stop as they see a car. They both instantly recognize
the car.
LUCAS
Shit...
The car stops, and out comes a woman, early 40s. She's LUCAS'
MOM.
LUCAS' MOM
Hey, there you are! I was just coming by to pick you
up!
LUCAS
Hey mom. So I-
LUCAS' MOM
Listen, I need to pick you up early today. Your brother
is really sick and I need you to come by and help.
LUCAS
Mom, I'm really needing-
LUCAS' MOM
I'm really needing you to come with me. He's throwing
up everywhere, and I need your help.
18
LUCAS
Will you at least tell Henry why I couldn't return?
DAVID
Don't worry, I'll make sure to do it.
They both do a handshake, and Lucas goes into the car, along
with his mom. They drive off as David stands there by himself.
DAVID
Crap. I could've asked them to give me a ride to the
general store.
DAVID
Ok, here we go.
David begins walking down the street. He looks over at the sun.
It's going down faster and faster. He knows he only has a
limited amount of time.
He starts running.
BAM!
HENRY (O.S.)
There you are!
DAVID
Listen, we're a man down. It's just me.
HENRY (O.S.)
What? What happened?
DAVID
Lucas was taken away, and I got knocked out or
something. Listen, I'm like 5 minutes away from the
store.
HENRY (O.S.)
Ugh, do you remember what's going on over there?
DAVID
No, I can't.
HENRY (O.S.)
They're having a marathon! Remember? Every year during
the parade, they have a marathon at night?
DAVID
When's that at?
HENRY (O.S.)
Like, in a few minutes. The store might already be
closing for the parade!
DAVID
I can make it.
HENRY (O.S.)
Good. Listen, I got to go.
DAVID
Ok, I'll call you when I'm done with this.
GUARD
Hey kid! You can't be there!
21
He looks back at the guard chasing him down, and then runs full
speed.
He runs behind a car. He makes sure the guard can't see him.
When the coast is clear, he stands up, and walks into the store.
DAVID
Miss!
WOMAN
Sorry, we're just closing up.
DAVID
Listen, I need to get inside. I just need one thing!
22
WOMAN
Whoa there, you ok?
DAVID
I need the triple A batteries. Please, let me inside!
WOMAN
Fine, but make it quick.
DAVID
Thank you!
He hands her the triple A batteries. She scans it, then puts it
in a bag.
WOMAN
That'll be $4.57.
David hands her 5 dollar bills. She takes them, then hands David
the rest of the money.
WOMAN
Have a good night.
DAVID
Yeah, you too.
David walks back outside. He sits down for a few seconds. Soon,
he looks over at a Redbox stand.
DAVID
Eh, might as well.
HENRY (O.S.)
David? How'd it go?
DAVID
I got the batteries.
HENRY (O.S.)
Yes! I knew you could do it!
DAVID
But there's something I want to do.
HENRY (O.S.)
What's that?
DAVID
I've been wanting to watch this movie for a really long
time.
Cut to black.
THE END.