There was absolutely no doubt on who I wanted to interview for this project.

The person
I chose was the first person to pop up in my head was because he came from such a difficult life
yet he chose to leave that life, move to North Carolina, and turn his life around. In my opinion
he has created the “Good Life” for himself. He now owns three separate businesses, owns 48
rental properties, and is more than successful. I love this man with all my heart. I look up to him,
desire to learn from him, and strive to be like him on a daily basis. For all of these reasons, I am
so thankful to call this man my father.

On March 12th, 1971, Duane Lee Elliott was brought into the world. Coming from a
small town in Indiana, he encountered many obstacles throughout his upbringing. This small
town was called Hartford City and it consisted of a population of around 6,000 people. Because
of this, everyone knew everything and his family was very much looked down upon. His parents
were not very involved because their jobs were very demanding. They worked the night shift at
a local factory and so in turn missed seeing Duane and his siblings grow up. His parents never
went to any of his sporting events, they were never home when he got home from school, they
never helped him with his schoolwork; he was basically left to grow up on his own with mild
help of his two siblings. In addition to the lack of parental involvement, his family was very
poor and very dysfunctional. One major example of this is that his father was an alcoholic and
was constantly being put in jail for the things he did when he was drunk. He was often found
punching holes in walls in the family’s house or showing aggressive behaviors in public places.
For this reason the Elliott family was known through the town as being trashy, un-classy, and
poor. My father wanted to escape this lifestyle and create a better life for his future family. I was
so excited to ask him the following questions in order to hear more of his perspective and have
the ability to glean some information in order to apply it to my life so that I too can create the
“good life” for myself.

What is a good life?

“A good life is being content and happy with where you are and not having to stress over having
the necessities of life. You also need to have a wonderful attitude when encountering difficulties
and just understand that it is what it is.”

How does one go about living it?

“Make wise decisions and planning for the future rather than just living in the moment. I always
use this quote from Dave Ramsey, “Live like no other so that you can live like no other.” This
quote means that you need to sacrifice a little today so that you can splurge a little tomorrow.”

How is happiness defined and understood?

“My definition of happiness is being content with who you are, where you are, and the
circumstances that you are in. I also think that happiness can be influenced by how you view
yourself and the rest of the world. You must be optimistic and must surround yourself with
positive and uplifting individuals. I think people generally think that happiness is often brought
by having material items or having more than those around you. This is not true because these
pursuits are short term and are of hollow value. Just take a look around: many people who have
nice things are very unhappy. People often search for more and more in order to find happiness,
but once we reach that goal or get that item, we begin pursing something greater. We never just
simply stop and think about the things we have and show gratitude for them; people never stop
searching for something better.”

What are the problems we humans must address?

“Humans must stop searching for short term happiness and in turn find something that is more
fulfilling to the soul and mind. We also must not let others determine or influence what makes
us happy. You must go out on your own, seek more, and become more enlightened by your
surroundings. You must find a deeper sense of purpose.”

What would you add to your life right now?

“I do not think that I would really add anything to my life because I am genuinely happy. I am
content and comfortable with where I am. I am happy because I have found purpose in my
occupation, my spiritual life, and my community. I try to make the most of every experience and
interaction that I have by teaching and instructing others so that they can become better people
without having to go through as great of struggle as I did. One of my biggest passions is
educating others about money, business, finances, and taxes. I never had money growing up so
when I see people in this position it makes me want to help them so they can provide a better life
for themselves and their children. If I did have to add one thing in my life I would say that I
would want to focus more on my health. I would like to work out and eat healthier so that I can
have a fuller and more enriched life and better enjoy the harvest of my labors in the future.”

Do you have any regrets?

“Yes I definitely do have regrets. My biggest regret is not prioritizing financials earlier on in life
and not seeking a mentor who could have had a positive influence on me and helped educate me
about financials and business practices. Besides that I try not to have many other regrets because
everything I have done has made me who I am. Everything I have done has been a stepping
stone to make me into the person I am today.”

Are you where you thought you would be?

“No, absolutely not. I am way beyond where I ever thought to be. Never in a million years
would I have imagined myself to be an entrepreneur who owns many businesses and rental
properties. Coming from generations of an uneducated, factory working class family, I never
thought I would really go anywhere. This type of lifestyle never really taught me to pursue
greater or have higher aspirations. I took a leap of faith, left my small town of Hartford City, and
it was the best thing that ever happened to me. Leaving this lifestyle allowed me to start a life of
my own and become the person who I am today. I would probably be just like my parents and
would not have much to my name if I would have been too scared to fail. One should not ever be
scared of failure because failing is what makes you come our stronger.”

What advice would you like to give me?

“I actually have many pieces of advice for you so bear with me. First, I think it is important to
realize that everything is a game and you just need to figure out how to play the game in order to
win; in order to do so you must know the rules. Second, I want you to have an occupation that
does not seem like an occupation. Do something you love that does not feel like work. Third, I
would like you to be more aware of who you associate yourself with; you are the average of the
five people you hang out with the most, so in turn you need to choose wisely. Lastly, I want to
say if you are not happy, find something that makes you happy. It is not all about money but it
definitely does make a difference. I want you to know how to be self-sufficient and to never stop
learning. Everything in life has a lesson. Limiting yourself to just the knowledge you receive in
school and for your degree would be foolish. Knowledge is higher than just an academic level;
you must use your environment as a tool to better yourself. At the end of the day, the piece of
paper you receive after these four years of college is merely just a piece of paper. You must
choose to actively engage with the world in order to make the most of what you are given.”

I am very greatly that I had the opportunity to do this assignment because it allowed me
to just sit down, rid myself of all distractions, and have a genuinely impactful conversation with
my father. There is so much knowledge that I gleaned from this experience and I have just
learned so much. Relating this conversation with Haidt’s book is very simple because there were
many parts that were very similar. I think my father’s view on most things regarding a good life
is in line with what Haidt said in his book. My dad truly does cultivate optimism, does activities
that engages himself, and commits to his goals. He prioritizes interactions with others and does
not get caught up on doing things to obtain more material pleasures; he has a greater goal.

One quote from the book that sticks out to me is, “The elephant cares about prestige, not
happiness, and looks externally to others to figure out what is prestigious.” I think my dad lives
out his life in a different manner from what is deemed “typical” in society. Although he values
making progress and pushing himself to obtain greater things, he has a very healthy
understanding of material possessions. He truly does choose to live a more simple life, free of
excessive material pleasures and spends less on expensive material possession so that he can
spend more on memorable experiences that he can carry and remember for a lifetime. He
himself embodies the idea that we need to focus on our interactions and experiences with others
and give up material objects that only bring us short term pleasure because that is what will make
a world of a difference.

Throughout reading this text I have learned that instead of searching for the meaning of
life, one should begin to search for a sense of purpose within life. My dad lives out his sense of
purpose on a daily basis by making the most of every situation that arises, every conversation
he has, and every experiences he encounters. He has overcome adversity and has a great
understanding that that one’s life will not change overnight; it is a process. Everything he does,
is to create a better life for himself in the future. For this reason, I think my dad perfectly
represents Haidt’s metaphor about a plant. “You can’t fix a plant; you can only give it the right
conditions- water, sun, and soil- and then wait. It will do the rest.” He has accurately assessed
his surroundings and in turn has created better conditions for himself. Because of his actions
and his choices he is now able to thrive and flourish, ultimately finding a greater sense of
purpose within his life.
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