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The Root of Personality

As a deafening scream echoed through the house, I wondered what I had gotten myself

into when becoming the nanny of a two-year-old girl named Lucie. She was having a tantrum on

the floor, flailing her limbs, tears streaming down her face. “I want mommy!” she repeatedly

screamed in defiance. This continued every time I went to babysit her for months until she turned

three, and then suddenly grew extremely fond of me.

From her third until her fourth birthday, she could not get enough of our trampoline

adventures and Barbie make-believe time. As she grew, she also started to enjoy some activities

more than others; for instance, she favored coloring over messy finger-painting. She had become

almost graceful when putting on gymnastics shows for me as opposed to the fumbling baby who

had once tangled herself in ribbons while trying to dance. She had a fascination with Disney

Princesses and maintained her sassy personality even while in character and costume.

When she turned four, she seemed to have another switch in attitude. She detested the

idea of her mother leaving the house without her, but instead of reacting with fury and

tumultuous phrases, she went to a separate room to calm herself down until she was ready to

play, exhibiting a newfound sense of self-control. I was amazed by this sudden change in

behavior: she had changed so drastically between every year of her life so far. This noticeable

change caused me to reflect on the past few years, and I realized I had seen her grow in every

possible way.

The stubby legs of two-year-old Lucie had been replaced by those of a tall four-year-old

who could run without stumbling and jump without face planting. From the incomprehensible

monosyllabic language of a baby, she could now speak in complex sentences. She could count,

write letters, and recite whole songs from memory. Above all, the most astonishing
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transformation was in her personality. Lucie had blossomed from an irritable baby to a curious

toddler right before my eyes in the years I had spent babysitting her. I thought back on the many

experiences we had shared. Had I been a factor in changing her personality and temperament?

What other factors could have influenced this shift, and how does child development correlate to

personality in the formative years from one to four?

My immediate thought when pondering this question was that everything that happens to

a child in the developmental years of one to four years old would have a significant effect on

their future self. There are two categories of factors that influence child development: external

factors and intrinsic factors. External or environmental factors come from outside sources, like

parenting style and parental traits, whereas intrinsic factors come from within, like genetic or

neurological factors. As a result of an external factor, parenting, every child has a different

understanding of manners, right and wrong, and the rules they have to follow at home. Factors

like living conditions would not be absorbed necessarily, but rather change what opportunities

are available to a child, like access to after-school programs, quality of education, home

environment, daily activities, and independence. Parental traits, however, can either be mirrored

by a child or passed down genetically. Parenting techniques, neurology, physiology,

environment, and many other factors contribute to the formation of a child’s personality traits.

As I researched parenting techniques, I discovered that parents affect the most substantial

factors in forming a child’s personality, and some techniques of parenting will affect children

differently than others. The line between being authoritative and authoritarian is one that some

parents mistakenly cross when utilizing the well-known ‘tough love’ technique. Parenting

technique and level of strictness paired with boundaries and love are important balances for

parents and caregivers to maintain. In my interview with the prior Assistant Director of Dianne
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Adair Daycare, Melissa Bevans explained that “boundaries are important, as the dynamic

between parents will change how a kid sees relationships in the future. They also need

consistency with rules from both parents because it creates a level of trust.” She stressed that

mutual understanding is crucial for effective parenting and caretaking. A child does not respond

to being patronized or given negative reinforcement. Bevans went on to say, “Mutual respect is

also very important to build a child’s confidence. If they see an adult treating them with respect,

they will also treat others that way.” The way children treat others is largely based on how they

are treated as they model the behavior of authority figures in their life.

A child with loving and kind parents may still end up having a negative attitude and it

may not have to do with how they were raised at all. While children “may get some personality

traits from their parents genetically, nature vs. nurture comes into play, and how they are raised

significantly influences them as well” explains Bevans. The way a child is brought up plays a

large role in how they perceive the world, but genetics also have an equal influence on a child’s

personality. Genetics are an intrinsic or internal factor that greatly affects the formation of

temperament. Because temperament is genetically driven, “genes appear to be the major reason

why temperament remains stable into adulthood. In contrast, the environment appears mainly

responsible for any change in temperament” (Clark). Somewhere between twenty to sixty

percent of personality and temperament are controlled by genetics, making parental traits even

more likely to be expressed in children.

While genes can control some aspects of personality, another factor that shapes

personality and temperament is physiology, especially how the brain works and is formed, which

is linked with psychology. In my research, one “important aspect of research on inhibition was

looking at the response of the amygdala, which is important for fear and anxiety, especially when
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confronted with possible threatening events in the environment” (Davidson). In the study I read

about, “Using functional magnetic resonance imaging (FMRIs) young adults identified as

strongly inhibited toddlers showed heightened activation of the amygdala when compared to

those identified as uninhibited toddlers” (Davidson). The amygdala, which controls fear in the

brain, is a simple way to measure a person’s temperament in a study, as shown in Davidson and

Begley’s review of the book “The Emotional Life of your Brain”, which combines neuroscience

and memoir. The amygdala is one of the many parts of the brain that affects personality, as fear is

the basis for decision-making and thought processes.

Personality traits can be affected by internal physiological factors and genetics, but they

are also shaped by many external factors. Some factors that affect temperament can be cultural or

environmental, “including supportive versus abusive child-rearing, socioeconomic status, stable

homes, illnesses, teratogens, etc. Additionally, individuals often choose environments that

support their temperament, which in turn further strengthens them” (Cain). Additionally, Bevans

states that “all of these factors can have a positive or negative impact on their personality as it

shapes the framework of how they see the world. People that you come in contact with impact

your life.” Although it may seem that children are helpless in how their personality is shaped,

perception actually “plays a part in it as it is up to the child because you have the choice to

change how it affects you.” In reality, children have a choice in how they let events affect them.

For example, when met with hardship, one person may become depressed and have little

motivation, whereas another person may learn from their experience and become more driven.

One child may cry about losing a game during recess, while another will challenge others to a

rematch. Children have some choice in their attitude and a good parental example can only

enforce this. In an interview with Tiffany Simpson, Executive Coach and Organizational
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Development Consultant, she detailed her experience with her own children’s personalities

growing up and her years helping executive teams cooperate. Simpson believes that to prevent

decreased motivation after hardship, parents should “praise the effort, not the result” of what a

child sets out to do. By doing this, parents can teach their children to be proud of the effort they

put in, even if it ends in failure. This technique, like everything in parenting, requires consistency

to be effective and alter a child’s attitude and temperament.

Consistency is the key for successful habits in children and is much easier to achieve with

financial stability, so does socioeconomic status affect personality and temperament? Bandura, a

Stanford researcher, rejects the assumption that socioeconomic status directly affects

temperament. He states in his research that socioeconomic status has “no direct effects on either

occupational efficacy or career considerations. Rather, it has an indirect impact by influencing

parents’ beliefs in their efficacy to promote their children’s educational development and the

aspirations they hold for them” (Bandura). Instead of the conditions in which a child grows up

directly changing their outlook on the world, a parent’s hopes and dreams for a child affect them

forthrightly. This makes socioeconomic an external or environmental factor. Furthermore,

“parental efficacy and aspirations raise children’s educational aspirations and their sense of

academic, social, and self-regulatory efficacy. The patterning of children’s perceived efficacy

influences the types of occupational activities they believe they can do, which, in turn, is linked

to the kinds of jobs they would choose for their life’s work” (Bandura). Socioeconomic status

may not affect a child directly, but rather it will change parental behavior and indirectly change

the course of a child’s future, as “the impact of socioeconomic status on child outcomes is

entirely mediated through parents’ child management practices” (Bandura). This practice of

choosing the best after-school programs and extracurricular activities is important as a parent
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because the more exposure your child has with them from a young age, the more they will

positively affect the child and create stability in their life. On the topic of socioeconomic status,

Simpson states, “The more you can create stability the more parents are involved with the

children, and consistency is also extremely important.” The consistency created by parents is

retained by a child all their life.

The way one absorbs most of their experiences is affected by the pathways in your brain

and how you were ‘programmed’ when you were born. However, “most patterns of human

behavior are organized by individual experience and retained in neural codes rather than having

been provided ready-made by inborn programming,” as everything that happens to you affects

you somehow psychologically. Human behavior is “fashioned largely through experience,

innately determined factors enter into every form of behavior to varying degrees” (Bandura).

Intrinsic factors, like genetic factors, “affect behavioral potentialities, which, through their

actualization, can influence the kinds of environments that are experienced and constructed”

(Bandura). The environment that you surround yourself with by choice, like choosing friends or

your career, will most likely reflect your personality traits rather than affect them. Simpson says

that “your environment encourages or mitigates your genetics.” This common occurrence

strengthens inherited personality traits due to neurology.

Neurology is more important to personality than it may seem, as child development is the

most rapid period of development in the brain. Brain development, in turn, is partially formed by

experiences that are guided by a child’s free will or surrounding occurrences. These experiences,

“produced by agentic action, shape the nature of brain development and quality of functioning.

Both experientially derived factors and genetically determined ones interact, often in intricate

synergistic ways, to determine behavior” (Bandura). From the ages of one to four, the most
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neurological synapses in your life are being formed as “there is an explosion of synapse

formation between neurons during early brain development” called synaptogenesis. The “rapid

period of synaptogenesis plays a vital role in learning, memory formation, and adaptation early

in life. At about 2 to 3 years of age, the number of synapses hits a peak level” (Cafasso).

Synaptogenesis is the main physiological factor of development at a young age, which manifests

into the amazing quality of children that is quick-learning and a sense of wonder about the world

around them.

These neurological and external factors are just a few factors that affect a child’s

temperament and personality. Temperament is defined as “the innate characteristics of the infant,

including mood, activity level, and emotional reactivity, noticeable soon after birth” according to

“Temperament and Personality in Adulthood,” which is an informative website that teaches

about the roots of temperament and how personality is broken down into main traits (Lally). It is

crucial to understand temperament because it “is central to our understanding of development,

and temperament constructs are linked to individual differences in both personality and

underlying neural function” (Rothbart). The main traits of personality are Openness to

Experience, Conscientiousness, Extraversion, Agreeableness, and Neuroticism. This is called the

“Five Factor Model” and it describes the hundreds of personality traits we see every day and

organizes them into five broad umbrella categories (Lally). These traits are extremely important

to understand because they are the basis of our understanding of personality as a concept for

children and adults, as we use them to understand and relate to others.

A child who seeks out new things to try and yearn for adventures in their everyday life

has a high affinity for the personality trait ‘openness to experience’, which is defined as “a

general appreciation for art, emotion, adventure, unusual ideas, imagination, curiosity, and
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variety of experience” (Soto). This can be seen in my description of Lucie; as she grew into a

curious toddler, she more clearly expressed the emotions she felt, exuding imagination when

making her own games to play. Soto’s example of an individual who is highly open to experience

is a person who “tends to have distinctive and unconventional decorations in their home. They

are also likely to have books on a wide variety of topics, a diverse music collection, and works of

art on display” (Soto). People are often drawn to those with this feature because they are very

open to making new friends and have an inviting presence. Parenting techniques that highlight

independent thinking and creativity will cultivate this trait in children.

A contrasting personality trait that can be seen in more quiet but high achieving children

is conscientiousness, which is “a tendency to show self-discipline, act dutifully, and aim for

achievement” (Soto). Some children who grow up participating in sports are more likely to

become high achievers because they are raised with competition as a top priority, like another

boy I babysit, Jackson. Jackson loves to win whatever game he’s playing, whether it be

basketball, a card game, or a race. While this trait leads him to be high achieving, he also does

not deal with losing very well. While this could grow into a possible problem, one solution is to

be involved in sports. According to Simpson, “Sports are about teamwork and collective wins,

encourages collaboration in later life.” Involvement in sports at a young age can positively affect

a person’s mindset and encourage collaboration. Soto describes individuals who are

conscientious as “having a preference for planned rather than spontaneous behavior” (Soto). For

example, this can also be seen in children who are learning patterns in their daily routine. Bevans

explained that “kids learn patterns and then want some control over their lives and decisions.”

The development of the mind from ages one to four are some of the most important changes that

happen in a human’s whole life. They are taking in so much new information as everything they
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experience is new to them, giving kids their signature childhood wonder. When they realize that

they have personal agency, this results in a sense of conscientiousness. This trait is first seen

mainly in children from two to three years old, like Lucie who began to understand the pattern of

having a babysitter come to play with her and knew that her mother would always come back

when it was time for bed.

The tendency to experience positive emotions and to seek out stimulation and the

company of others is known as extraversion (Soto). Soto’s example of an extroverted person is

“someone who enjoys being with people. In groups, they like to talk, assert themselves, and draw

attention to themselves.” The lack of extraversion is also known as introversion, which can occur

in children when they are an only child, lack meaningful social interaction with other children at

a young age, or lack self-confidence and self-assurance which is usually built with the help of

parents from ages one to four. Bevans described a story about a boy named Ryan who often

talked about morbid subjects and rejected friendship from other children. He was described to

have had an “I hate everybody attitude.” Then, when Bevans and other teachers at the daycare

made an effort to give him special attention, he started to open up and talk about personal

experiences that were affecting him, like his parents' divorce. From the moment he opened up to

the teachers, Bevans says that he became sweet to everyone and even started enjoying coming to

daycare because he was able to help other kids with their homework, as he was very smart but

had never shared this before. This story shows that although personality and temperament are

shaped at a young age, they can always evolve as they grow up. This young boy was able to push

past his introversion and reached out to help other children.

Reaching out to other children is a good indicator of a child’s social skill level. Another

factor of personality that pertains to sociability is agreeableness. Agreeableness, while it may

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sound similar or be associated with extraversion, is more similar to openness to experience. It is

“a tendency to be compassionate and cooperative rather than suspicious and antagonistic toward

others; reflects individual differences in general concern for social harmony.” Children with this

trait are often favored by teachers at school and seen as the example student. Soto says that

“agreeable individuals value getting along with others. They are generally considerate, friendly,

generous, helpful, and willing to compromise their interests with those of others.” (Soto).

Learning the value of sharing comes much easier to children with a large influence of this trait in

their personality. While some tasks may be easier for some personality traits to master, parents

mustn't give up when trying to teach their child something if it does not come easily to them.

From her own experience with children, Simpson says that birth order plays a role in the

agreeable factor of personality. She states, “The first child is very independent, the middle child

wants to keep the peace within the family, and the youngest child is a funny and goofy

entertainer.” These roles in a family affect a child’s personality later in life, as they are exhibited

not only at home but in their social life.

One trait that is deeply influenced by parental traits and behaviors that they push onto

their children is neuroticism, the final one of the five big personality traits. Common attributes

that accompany this trait are “the tendency to experience negative emotions, such as anger,

anxiety, or depression; sometimes called ‘emotional instability’” (Soto). This trait is also highly

linked with mental illness. Bevans connected the trait of neuroticism with a child’s ability to

mirror parental traits. For example, “the need to be perfect is one trait that some kids get from

their parents [as they put] pressure on them at a young age, as parents’ traits are mirrored.” She

used OCD as an example of this, as children can mirror habits like obsessively cleaning or the

need to be perfect in their parent’s eyes. The pressures that are placed on children have a
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significant effect on their personality. A child can be motivated by these pressures, but

oftentimes, these pressures cause emotional stress on children that can lead to anxiety. On this

topic, Simpson explains that in a child’s early life, “challenges are taken in different ways

depending on how parents set the example for dealing with problems and what tools kids are

provided with.” Children need to be well equipped to deal with losses and challenges so that they

will move past hard times, and the only way they can do this is with a good example and

teachings from their parents. Children will learn and grow no matter how they are raised, but

guidance and opportunities provided by parents will facilitate higher emotional intelligence.

The medley of factors that contribute to the growth of a child and their personality makes

for a truly fascinating and meaningful process. As Lucie blossomed right before my eyes, I

wondered how so much could change in the first four years of her life. Learning how her

personality was being shaped by internal and external factors made me realize that it is extremely

important to positively influence children from a young age. In my interview with Simpson, she

recalled a story about a three-year-old, dining at a restaurant with her parents; The waitress asked

what the child would like to order, and naturally, the father answered for his child. The waitress

then turned to the child and asked what she would like to eat. The child responded with a

completely different order than what her father had told the waitress. When the waitress left the

table, the father felt as if the waitress had been rude, but the child was excited to say, “She saw

me!” This was the first time the child had felt truly recognized as a person, and Simpson noted

how this shows that we should treat children as if they are people and not subjects to be

controlled by others. The way people reflect how they were treated as a child reveals how

impactful our actions toward children can be. By providing children with the respect and
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kindness they deserve, we can empower future generations to be sympathetic and independent

thinkers.
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Works Cited

Books

Bandura, A. (1999). A social cognitive theory of personality. In L. Pervin & O. John (Ed.),

Handbook of personality (2nd ed., pp. 154-196). New York: Guilford Publications.

(Reprinted in D. Cervone & Y. Shoda [Eds.], The coherence of personality. New York:

Guilford Press.)

Cain, Susan. Quiet: the Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking. Instaread, 2012.

Clark, L. A., & Watson, D. (1999). Temperament: A new paradigm for trait psychology. In L. A.

Pervin & O. P. John (Eds.), Handbook of personality: Theory and research (p. 399–423).

Guilford Press.

Davidson, Richard J., and Sharon Begley. The Emotional Life of Your Brain. Hodder, 2013.

Soni, P. (2014). Review of The emotional life of your brain [Review of the book The emotional

life of your brain, by R. J. Davidson & S. Begley]. American Journal of Clinical

Hypnosis, 56(3), 303–304.

Internet Sources

Cafasso, Jacquelyn. “What Is Synaptic Pruning?” Healthline, Healthline, 18 Sept. 2018,

www.healthline.com/health/synaptic-pruning#an-indepth-look.

Lally, Martha, and Suzanne Valentine-French. “Lifespan Development.” Temperament and

Personality in Adulthood | Lifespan Development, College of Lake County Foundation,

2019,

courses.lumenlearning.com/suny-lifespandevelopment/chapter/temperament-and-persona

lity-in-adulthood/.
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Rothbart, Mary K. “Temperament, Development, and Personality.” SAGE Journals, Association

for Psychological Science, 1 Aug. 2007,

journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1111/j.1467-8721.2007.00505.x.

Soto, Christopher J., et al. “Five‐Factor Model of Personality.” Wiley Online Library, American

Cancer Society, 20 Dec. 2015,

onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1002/9781118521373.wbeaa014.

Primary Sources

Bevans, Melissa. Teacher, Director of Dianne Adair Daycare. Personal Interview. 10 March

2021.

Simpson, Tiffany. Executive Coach, Organizational Development Consultant. Personal

Interview. 24 March 2021.

Works Consulted

Rosenthal, T. L., & Zimmerman, B. J. (1978). Social learning and cognition. New York:

Academic Press.