be) Cr lalea > Mia Do eel Ns Mie eed Galatea M ADELINE M ILLERase was aos sweet the way they worse about me "Yue so pale” the nurse sid “You must keep cuit until your color re mana this colo” I said, "Because used to be made of stone” “The woman smiled vague pling up the bank, My husband had wormed het that twas fancil, that my illness made me ay things that would sound strange tober “just ie back nd bring you something to est abe sd. She had a mole on these of her ip and ie to watch it while she tale. Some mes are beaut and distinctive, he dappling on a horse, But some have hrs fn ‘thor, an lok pulpy ke worms, and hrs was this kind. Le back she repeated, becouse had "You know what | thnk would be good for my colo? A walk said “Oh ro” she sud. “Not until you're beter. Fel how chile your hands “That's the stone | sid ike I told you. It can't get warm without sun Haven't you ever touched a statue?” "Youre chile” she repeated, ust ie back and be good” She was rushing litle by then, because I had mentioned the stone twice, and this was gossip forthe other muses and a breathless reason to speak to the doctor. They were ackng, tha’ hy she was 50 coger I cou hear them sometimes through the wall: dont sy this in a nasty way. for I dnt begrudge her a god fuck, iit wos good, hich | dont know. But | say this otha you understand what Iwas sip against: that Las wrth move ther ick han L as wl ‘The door closed, and the room swelled around me ikea buise. When she wos here could pretend ft smal because fhe, bt when se ef the four ‘wood walls seemed to press towards me ke ngs that had breathed in. The ‘window did nt hep, for it was too high 10 see fom the bed and too small to tke in much sc The room smelled set and sour st once though thou sand sufering people hod ain sweating in it, which I suppose they had, and then ground roses int the floor with ity et ‘The doctr wis net, and he made aces a me, “Chloe cays ou have not bean ying quietly” 1 sai, sore? Heed that, but he was also suspicious, because had been apologizing to his every day fora yea For his sake, led to vary looking down, biting ry lip, twsting my gers. Onc, | bust nto teas, and that had en hie f -votite time was werking on tying to faint but dt have it quite righ for | needed to spend ong tie breathing very fst stan | had’ had‘enough warning that he was coming. ut a5 soon a I ci that would be the ‘ow best time, And the doctor would all husband, who Would shower hin with golden coin, and everyone would be happy. kept forme, Though Isp posed would be litle hap, fo thinking ft "hat te ou ing he sid severely "This is rat why you aril "had got up ou 0, while was thinking about the fn The om was sales ofl with the doctor int and he had had gai thst dy, and shat src ke everyday he'd ee lied, 20 gone tobe bythe win on Yi sory Usd jus love the ace f the natin” It es the Ft thing | thought of but tony made him flow more, because thete were no narissus there, since we were onthe rocky edge of lif over these, so that {FL to clin out the window, I would no escape but de Also, ws nat ‘ven surnarcisus had» sl Lie down this stant he ald. Then, when | obeyed, he tok ny wis and held. "our pls is ow he sid ‘OF couse my plc is slow, becouse | used tobe made of tone, but | did't ‘5 tht ast made a sound, mmm that ie to be conte and interested st once. thought that started bresthing fst the moment dhe use had ocd the door ths might hve been the time I coud int. But | had not done {and now twas to late sad, thin woul fel ater ould wale "Yu ae too weak the dtr sd. What would I tl your husband fyou hur yous sed to be ston Il" ca! a mse fom just awa “Thats enough: he ssid in that oie that meant he was ging to send for ‘he tea. The ta isthe thing they ve me when wont bac, and Rate fo they st beside me uni rink al and then my headaches and my tongve hurts an pias the bed "ay Back "Yu'e vig this better I sad. °Mmm, that feels poo” Through my lshes | watched him, He was suspicious, x0 ¥arugged down closer ou ight I as oted and I didnt Rrow it hoped that tis was encugh to save me fom the ten, Be sure you stay thee” be said. Your husbands coming to see you today” And I thought, I should have saved the snupaing bt enue they dont give me the 20 when my husband comes. He hates the smell of piss, and helikes me tobe abe to wee my tong ey down snd anarged myself inthe ight way W's easy because ve hada lot of practic, bt alse because think here's some pat of me the store pt that remembers ad is glad to stl it ts ld res. The oly had hig is the Hnges, which my husband les to say he spent a year on, making them Took tal instead of stil and limp, lke lazy sculptors do. So | have toconcentrate and hold them just the way he ies oii everthing Time passed, | wast sue how much, Then trough the door | head the Jingle of coins and the nurses exclaiming. My husband i quite ich now, a thas enough pay fra thousand more doctors who alll met ie down, He isch because of me, if ou want to know but he does ket when I say that He sys its the godess gi frst, nd then hs own since ha was the one ‘ino made me fom the marble, Aer Is bor—and maybe that isnot the ight wd, but then dot Ko wht naka? Hatched? No, that worse am mot on 1 wil sey bor. After Iwas bor, he ied to keep me inside as much ashe ‘could, bu there were servants, and people began to tlk sbout the sculptors wife, and how strange sbe was, and how such beauty comes only fom the tds. Same peple blvd tha, and sone peop di, at suddenly they All wanted statues fom him, So he clzlad maiden aftr maiden, and sa, ‘you think any of tern wl come to if) And he a, OF course nat, hese People are not worthy ofthe goddess’ gf. And he told me again how wel he hd eared for me, dressing me nails, and doping mein flowers and jewels, snd bringing re seashells and coloved bill, and praying to the gods evey right. Would I not have been easier to many agi fem the town? | esha Those hts, he sai | would not hae them. ‘The door opane, “Leave and do not dtr vs my husband ssid tothe raid, which was unmacessany, since they've never disturbed us, notin 3 year's tie, Bu my husband thinks himselFapotentte these days “There was slence, because he was looking at me, check my gets a ithe et id’ open my ye, because iy job was eon the couch th ‘ut moving so that he night mun, "Ah my Beauty is asleep.” Af times inthe pst, had let out ite snore a that moment, jst for wersiitude, ‘bute did ot ike tat at al. "Aalap2” he said He stepped ta the oom, arn 2 fol to sy so, She ‘marble and nothing more” He kl beside the bed, and lied his hands. “O Eades! Why cant find iden such a this for my fe? Why must uch parfeton be marble and not ech? only she might—" Abrupt he cover bis eye. *No, cannot say" | thought bout making 2 le snore ight then, tut that would Rave been ren worse than before, dave nt sty what dese But © great goddess, you krow my secret hea. egy, clase me from his tormant” His had shamed to the pall, and ‘opened my eyes, because he could sce me while he wallowed inthe covers His har wis thing and courted the be spats ons salp The, ea ways | dosed my eyes, justin time: His head lifted, and he sti, "No, tcannot be 1 must resign mysoll” But his hand had fllen comenienty sginst my‘occa, and he pressed ite in hie agony "What sth” He tare at my atm. "Can it be L would sear that she Warmer than regular stone, any. He shook his heed, though to clear it "No, Iam imagining things. OF peeps the suns lls on er and warmed he marble” There was no sun inthe room, ofcourse, but it was the te to sy tis Goddess do not let me be mad!” He began kneading my hips and ball, har testing my stoninss. | prided myself on nt inching. "et wl swear | ill sear on my if, he fs warm, O godess this 4 dear let me til shag” And then be peseed hips onto mine. “Live he Si "Oh ve, i,m ove, ve” And that’s when Fm supposed to open my eyes ke a deny fam, and see him poised oer me ie the sun, and make a tle gasping noise of wonder and grate, nd the he fucks. frre Uy against his damp shoulder sad. "My love, mis you” He seid noting, but | coud el his impatince. The sweat was dying on his fom, and his back was 2 swamp. Also, the eed ticking scratched tough the sheet, and hos used oa padded bed at home "What are you working on? I asked, Because i the ene Hing nc he "Asta he sid “AL ose my eyes.“ wish Ieould see, daring. Whetis ito” Agi wl be bestia ai I she For one ofthe men town?” No he sai, tm red of those This nei for msl” “How wonder I sai. t hope may seit when you ae finished" ‘Maybe he si “il beso good” sid Heid nothing “How ode the gi | asked “Ten he sd "had expected hiro say "young" When I had once asked him how old he rant forme ob, head ad, “Avirgin” “Tanai, “Not we, parhapee™ No hese 1 do lve gis at ten I sid. “The other day the ruse brought her daughter and she was 20 osu. Her whole face was fled wth ight” *Vhave interest in ier" he a. “Or the nurse's daughter” OF couse not I sucked his chest with ny perfect ges. | wie to make ny wice loose and ey ite 2 yan “How is Paphos, my lve?”ine he ssi. ust that uy nothing word “is she ape” "How could she be, for what her metho id" as ready fr ts, nd ped the teas nto his hes. “am So soy, my ating, Lwish could mak i upto her’ He pushed me Thi and sat up, “You grovel for hes, but rot or me” | wanted tay, What do you think have been ding? But ofcourse my hus band would not appreciate that Hes a man ho thes wit, smooth surfaces [elt on the fot my hands pressed together over my breasts. “My lve, there f ating more nthe ward wan than Yocom home wth you. jn todey | wished that had someting of you to comfort me. Apsintng, maybe painting fou" This suprised hin." plating” he sid, “Nota statue" Oh my darting» statue woud torment me to much” Hand would be too much ie yout beac™ Mn he si et my hands il ites that he might see my breasts bata They were very ine ead made su oft "Doyou net miss me? Even le?” “tts your ow fat ido fs, rom, knw is. im so sory, daring. 1 was such 3 foo, don't ren know what was doing” "Afool he said. He as looking at my boasts asin, “Yes a telefon unratel fok™ “Il never again, swear on my can bel stand when you eave ‘me. iv every dy earring fr you to come. You are my husband, and fer” “Ad mote” he sald "Yes, and mother Ad bother to. And lover Alf these" esi, "You say this ony because you want to ee Paphos Of couse | want to see her, What kind of mather would | be #1 id not Cold and sharers That isnot how you ad the odes made me" | as breathing very hard, but tint pretend | was not. The loor was hurt: Ing my knees, bt I id not move Shameless he sid Shameless sid | hi looking at mo, admiing is work He had not caved me ike ti, tut e was imagining doing a A best tus, mame The Suppl, He could have sold me anid ved ee ing in Aa, He frowned oitng “Whats tha” Hooked dawn at ny ella aw the int vey ack on yin, cag Inthe at “poe iis the sign fou cil Whee the belly steched™He stared. "How org have they been there2* “Since she was brn” Ten ere ago now "They ar ugh he sid 50 srr my love his the same forall women.* "IF you were stone; | would che them of he sid. Then he tuned and {eft and ater itl wie the doctor ome wih thet ‘He Ne don thinkny husband expected me to be able to tl I dont ‘blae him fr this nal since he had nun me ony 3 sate, pre and beautifying to his art. Natural, when he wished me to five, that's ‘hat he vated sl, only warn so that he might Fick ne, ut dows seem fools that he dd thinkit though, how could not bot ve ad til be state | eon been bom fr eleven pets, and een | kc tat, "conceived that very fest tine, a moment ter I as born Ad hough had ‘bean stone, and though the goddess made me, my pregnancy was sl enough, and I was ied en sick an my fet were too swollen forthe dete golden sandals he lied fo see then. I made im arg, it id not sop hi fom pushing me onto the Bed or up against the wal, nd I worried that be ‘cause oft would have not one dil but a whole Iter, ike he cats in the street [My dughter was beaut an stone pale and bom na summer tht was 0 vicoualy hot the calves dad inthe dds. But she and were ays pee: ‘ea col, ching in our chai together When we woul go walling, eveyone ‘whispered but no one would speak tous ercept once anol woman touched Pophos' fot and asked for my Blessing. | murmuved something, and she touched my arm in thanks, Her Fngers were tang, ke ig on bare ees, but her skin was very sot Somat, when iy husband wee working, we wee llowed ogo ae fr ‘he hillsides, Paphos was oer by then. and she would pretend to be a shep hed ant wou pretend to be her sheep. Sheed that. She ike it een bet ter wher vasa goat, and leat baefoot lm od to rock and never wobble, When she got ode sil insisted on tuto though my husband thought hat woul ruin her No | si, she wil bust to er husband, a1 am aot. Aad head ied at me You ate uel enough, But he ied the tor inthe end, because faved on him evr time he mentioned it In the countryside. Paphos woud teach me. Look, she would sy, you can se sick For the ltrs, and wuld 3p, But some of ther ae round. And she frowned and said, You'e ight, shal we goto the beach and use sand? So we did ant was better then ticks, an even bee than the tutor’ tablet be ‘ase the es washed for you, She was a sma il very sma, and it hovel eto ay nothing toh Aight ry husband sant het bd, He would ay, nd ou too, we, areyou not lop?" And I ould know tae ime to go arange mysfin bd so that we ght pretend again dat Iwas waking om the tonto him, ‘When Popos was iht he sent the tutor away. "He wa looking at you" he ssidtome | was disvacte hat dy. thinking of Paphos and the eters, an si “OF Course he was verone looked st me, Because I was the most beaut woman in the tow. dont sy tis to Boast, Because there ating in 10 boast was nothing dd sel Myson stated at me, and sa “You knew?” | wn to enpli,bu ts tool, We ween allowed to walk agro, and Paphos was gen» governess instead of 2 tt, and her ables were take ay, adding the psy husband sled oer is able ad de not work: At night, he was ue han he fad en anid would ot stop sak ing, Would you belie the et of thm? And | knew to say No, no, dating, Paphos wos ipationt—ahe hated our house and wanted ot olf aden tures in the cout, She wast quit whan a athe wished to brood, which was always, and ste dys passe she grew mere impatient stil. | tok ero our room and we made the letes with ou ges. She was laughing nd | too, and we didnot ow hod we wee, [Myhusbond came to the doorway “Why ae you laughing Paphos cid Why not” She wor tl than the other gts, along. libed She wasnt aii of him "sad, “Dang, Tm so soy we disturbed you" "She doesnot say she ssw" “Shei sil baby Id “pot baby Paphos sed “Then aploge” he sad “Yu porting, you lokhlf starved Isat im. “Have you nt eaten? Paphos, seth, lat me ako our father a mare” ‘She fl | saw bn ind hs teeth at how obediently shed i. He sid, "You ov er mre than me (OF course rot, of course ok My has str hi ai, long and peasy Sra bccn ion hes tant fo tad pots Shs ‘oted, panna tech he arthing She nee attr Heid, Ato, ‘nd si, Ye, another tutor would make senting beter, and then we ould not bother you. He was quit and I hoped he was considering it but hen Isa his ace was taut ad angry, 5 though he would bes the sin, He seized my ax and hess, You never Dh | coud think spesk hats how hard he eld He sad, You do ot blsh anymore, that ste thing You eplogle endspologice, but you donot Blush, Ae you shameless now? "No, never, sid, He grabbed the nek of my dress ad yanked, but he was ot a6 stag ashe wished tobe and didnot tar He yanked again and ‘ein, then pushed ne tothe Noor ane held ve thee, yanking ntl the fabri tense way and was naked 1 coveted myself with my hands and made soft noises Ue a child. Bush, ‘ash, prayed. Bush fr hm or he wil il you And was fortunate, fore was warm nthe rom, and | nas angry and ashamed oo, fr | eared that Paphos ould hear us, and the blood came omy cheeks and | Buse. He said, "So you are not completly lost to me” And he sent me tobe, md afte inthe trchlgh, be wondered at the matks on me, these arn ny neck and the purple on my arms and chest where he had gripped me. He rubbed athe, as though they nee stains, not bruises "The colori perfect” thsi “ook Ande ald up the mir so could ee. "You mak the rates cares, love” "vn 4 tle money crs my husband had dropped fom his messy purses, things had fund i the tee. | had shoes that | sol fromm the govenets, leather, ot gold thet were meant fr tiipsing up and down dusty ads. had 2 cook tat stl fom ry husband, Paphos had her own, because | had in sisted she got col easly, though she was ke me and was never cold, nr hot iter Ad sid ther, Shall we got the courtysde?™ ‘nd she ssi, "Daddy wl rot let us” and | sid“ now, 0 lets not ll bien We did not make it beyond the net town, becuse everyone noticed us. A ‘woman and pale mk Yes, jt tht way "HE NUBEE LET mela inthe wet er longtime before she came withthe dry Fines. She bunched the rates reds so that they stuck ate worse than ver and refused to answer me, no mater what | sid toes, even when td her ho beaut her mole was. Las’ een ng, At hat mom it seemed tohave a handsomeness of ts own, ‘or, she pve mea bath She dint use cloth, jst her hand ppd in the water think she hoped that | would complain about but | did, be cause it must bea miserable thing t wash people you hate it. Next came the oa ci hat my husband pays xr oy, hich she put on 3 hough she was mcking breed, slipping my skin with bth hans. She mean ito ut but "sort oftked the vigor ofthe sound and the way my skin went pink When she was gone, I wiped off as much ofthe rose ol as | could on the sheets The te had passed tough me and my head was cle. | thought, My daughters ten Paphos stn‘Te nex onthe doctor round at Ave ou ual™ No |i. am very well” ‘He was about to ay, “Then ay ae you ing down? bt that would have resntadmiting hat wes not sick to bein wth Ho, hough a fing socal” said. "Calm and well” Hmmm he said “Vhope my husband comes today” Isl“ miss him teibh™ “He sid he would the dctr sid How wonder Lid “What wonderful news" ‘The jngling came ne, bt wnt paint aranged mys usts0, The oor opened. and my husband sent the nurses avay esd the ok cach. As mbes askep” Ad sid, "No, Ym ot He sad, “For our sk, el you toe down, and will eur ina moment hen you have ole yours.” {ssid Lar pregrant” He stared isnot possible” Because ever since Paphos, he lave his seed on my aly. ‘With the gods, ll things ate possible, | ssid. Lok at my stomach. {had pled ita lite, so that it ooked ke a mound, And anya, he dd et kon hat women looked ik. T im, there mas aging. twas tang, Hews ple than; almost a pal x me The doctor dd not ay 0°" 1 didnt show the dct, | wanted you to be the sto krow Dang, Pm 0 happy we shall have another cil, and then ancther after that. Ard then But the dor had seady closed, Later the doctor came ith a eet kind of. Hes, You have to drink hi. rd eid Plesee,wil ou snd the rae tt wth ewe | do? He sid A right For he saw that | would ery otherwise. twas amzing how casy twas. The nurse care and i, Wt hu? fae i wl ur, And shes hurt ite, and then the blond wl come an ais and id face inthe plloe ‘Ameent passed an! hen ft her hand nyc ou wl be al ih she si. ave dane it and lok |e | wep racking into the cushions. emt irk th ta, held But er voice ws ot shape uel IF only could go outside, si ant to gve the baby tothe goddess The doctor dows low it | wsted, and waited, and wept and st last she sid But the doctor i notbere at igh | wane 0 rll on the grass ke # dog, bu | was supposed to be pregnant and sufeing o imped, 5 though every port f me might beck. she bought ‘me the tea ard I eld sipping. She said, Tell me when the cramping comes. | ile the dit through my ngs tas dark, and there was ony tle ‘oon, which tak to mean thatthe goddess, if he existed, sila on ‘ld, think | feo something Good, se said. We were inthe guden, at the back of the house, ava om the sea Isai. fel something. Good, she sd Then | doubled over, creaming | fl to the ground and screamed epain ‘She hesitated, afi to touch me, Ie, it hurts! Get the doco! She was trembling ar |e ile sory but not sony enough The doctor ys. wl |As soon as she wos gone, an. id not worry about he aching mo. She wes clever wih her fers, but she wns not Fit. sed and lipped alg, the oad towards the tow, 0 frhim. Just gve mes moment his house is fa | o1p wor iy the dor ofthe house 1 knew it woud be locked. But there was a tree behind it am ove, that Paphos used to beg me to climb with hes. ced of my sandals and steppad up the watm gray branches | euche, snd palled myself into her window "had thought abou ial do. would wake her orf wouldn't. But sing her sleep | could not. She was child ony tn anit would ght he So found the pot of sand she led to keep because it smaled of he sea and spied title on the Root. Paphos. | speed. I woul have said more, bu tht xs moat of what knee | sped lm her oom and went othe ont doo, which was oe, id rot have to hur, because ro one would lok or me here had not run om hi before? eased up the bolt and left the door open ait My husband's worloom was inthe fr wing, where the light was best. | stood outside the door and though I wasn’ ted anymore fom runing, oy breath was quick The house was vey que round me. There were no servants ‘to wonyabout—my husband di tke hem slap inthe house | pushed open the door and saw the i glowing in the rooms center, Stone, | told mas because Iwas shaking tle, She is stone and she wil rotwake | stepped closer and saw her face was pale and pear her mouth 2 soft bon Her eyes were cloned and ahe was ctl ona stone couch, She looked younger then Paphos because she was so sal She was perfection, every inchof he fiom the sweet curls of her ribbons to her sandals pained gold. She Id no scabs, and no sand beneath her fngerais. She dil not chase the gous and she id nt dscbey. You could almost see he fash on et cheeks “There were sik on her, ape tie blankets, and sipped thom of There was a bracelet of flowers 0 her wit and pulled away. ised et fore ea and whispered, "Dougie, sry” {went to my husband's room and stood inthe dooraay. Hl was Aang eros the bed and upd. "Ah ny beauty is slop” id ‘My husband's ees oped and e saw me. Iurned and tan. head a rash 1s hetrippad ovr the soo | had lf fr him nthe hall, but then he was wp agin, almost onthe sas. led through the Font door and ont the rsd, td is footsteps slapped behind me, He did not shout, because he did't ‘want to waste his brats twas just he right’ silence an thet of us run ring though the sts, My lunge sched ite but dt rater, acai ‘would need them soon, “The rnd pased through the town and dipped towrrds the sea. was slow eft inayat of hing in bed, bute ad near oved excise and was ta slow himsl{ The dirt gave way to sand, cool and tick beneath my fet ard then | as onthe pebbles, which had never hut me and the, at st the ‘wavs. thvew mys in Fighting asthe breakers tothe open sea, A moment later, ear the spesh of flowing iter wos not my eement It dagged at my othe as | swam. A litle ar ‘het, told mse. | could her him coming is arms stronger than mine fom «lifetime of iting marble | fk the water shiver ner my foot where he had syabed and almost caught me. looked back, and saw how close he wes and tow fr the shove behind. Then his hand seized my ankle and yanked, pling ‘ne to him ikea rope, hand over hand and theme had me up and bythe throat his face pressed to mi | thin he expected me ofght and claw I did't it. seized him cose sound the ib, bodig ny ist soe coud nt get fe, The sudden weight pled us bth unde He ike ar failed backto the surface, but was hea Jer than he ad thought and th waves lopped at our mouths Let tbe now pred. ‘Ait though it ws jst the cldof he wate It rap up my gers and ny ars, whic sttfened round him, He struggled and fought, ba my hands were fused together and nothing he wed could beak ther. Then it was in my legs to, and my belly and my chet, and no matt how he ike, he could ‘ot haul us back upto the ac He hi at me, butt wae watery and weak and felt nothing. just the sod cir of my arms, and the inerorabe drag of my bea, He had no chance al: He was ory lsh, We fl trough the darkness,a he cooiness lid up my neck and bed the color fiom my ps an checks, | thought of Paphos and how cer she was. | thought of her stone sit, esceul on her couch. We fl trough the cuents and thought of how the crabs would come fer him, climbing over my pale shoulders. The ocean Foor was sandy and soft as pile, Lele it and ep‘@byNira Subla