Introduction:

Literature — I thought it was AP Barron’s books, SAT Prep books, short stories, and boring

books your teacher makes you read. But, literature is also tweets, educational documentaries,

interesting audiobooks, and play scripts. Eight months ago I would have never believed that this

would be true. From my approach to writing to my perception of my writing, learning this has

drastically changed my relationship with writing. Strangely — my writing has taught me

concepts and has revealed facts about me that I never noticed! And, this past year my writing

revealed that I am resilient and vocal.

Resilience is strength. Resilience is plasticity. Resilience is adapting to your new reality,

even when it’s worse than what you had before. This is what I — what millions of people —

have done this past year. Except, I didn’t know I had resilience until I began writing! The first

essay was about summer reading. I wrote about how I learned to influence change through

literature and how it impacted my personal growth. And well … It was bad! (The first and

second drafts at least) At first, I wrote an outline — which I thought was an essay at the time —

then I wrote something that was more essay-like … but, I got a 30! It was a whole roller coaster!

Thankfully, with Mr. Weinstein’s critiques, I started to adapt by changing the way that I

approached and thought about writing. Instead of saying negative fictions, I started to say

positive truths. For instance: “Everything is going to be fine, Mr. Weinstein will help me through

this.” Or, “ Don’t listen to what people have said, you can write this essay.” Through this, I have

built up my strength, flexibility, confidence, and overall resilience toward essay writing. Even

with the whining and crying, I came out with something. And, when I wrote my first essay, I

showed myself that. Even though it took five times to get it right!
 I have a voice. I’ve always known that, but a year and a half ago I never used it. However,

this year I used it in my writing. Usually, I’m the student that’s always quiet and only speaks

when asked. Writing allows me to “speak” as loud as I want to. Although, prior to junior year, I

never knew how to express myself in writing. In former essays, I just didn’t make sense to the

teachers, and through that, I wasn’t able to find my voice. I felt like I didn’t have the ability to

write about my feelings. Positively, I was able to find it over the course of the year. My voice in

writing then became louder and louder, which made me realize how vocal I was in writing. No

matter what my essay was about, I had an opinion! And, I always circled back to topics that were

important to me. From environmental issues to LGBTQIA+ rights, I had something to say. I even

went as far as talking about my mental health! (Something I never thought I’d do.) And, I owe it

all to Mr. Weinstein.

Reflections:

Pride

I am proud of every single one of my essays, but the one that I’m most proud of is my first

essay —“Out Of My Comfort Zone.” Before junior year, I felt like I couldn’t write an essay!

Every aspect was hard for me to write, for instance: writing the thesis, opening sentences, and an

introduction. However — this year I learned that I could write a decent essay. (Which surprised

me!) In the past, I didn’t care about school, which was a disadvantage to me later on when I

needed the skills that I was taught. Teachers that I had later on didn’t want to teach step-by-step

how to write an essay. This led me to believe that I could never -- will never -- have the ability

to write a good essay. But, that was until I got to … Ms. Sorise’s class! And she taught us how to
create an argumentative essay step-by-step. After that, I felt like I could moderately write an

essay?! But then when I got to Mr. Weinstein’s 11R English class, that's when I finally learned

that I could write an amazing essay. Mr. Weinstein was the only English teacher I had who -- that

I liked -- took us step-by-step and who gave us a second chance. And, on my first essay - - with

blood, sweat, and many tears - - I was able to come out with an amazing essay. That’s what my

first essay proved to me.

Flexibility

Pieces that show my flexibility are my poems. I strongly dislike poems - - the only type of

poem I like are haikus - - since they are usually boring. Writing poems this year was the hardest

thing I had to do. I didn’t know how to write a poem; even when I was shown how I still didn’t

get it. It was hard for me to find a topic I wanted to write about and to find uncommon words that

rhymed. Overall, I just did not want to do it, but I had to do it or my grade would suffer!

Consequently, I decided to write poems about subjects that interested me. This helped me with

the main topics of my poem. Then, when I wanted to find uncommon rhymes, I went on a few

websites and tested them out on my poem. Due to this, I was able to create six decent poems that

I was pretty proud of. “ARE” — is my favorite poem of them all. “ARE” is about a theory I

learned in AP Psychology class this year. Psychology has been a subject I loved learning about

this year, so writing a poem about a concept class made it easy to write. In the end, writing these

poems forced me to become flexible and find a way to navigate myself through assignments I

didn’t like.

Fourth Quarter Essay

 I can’t believe it. I hate -- with every single bone in my body -- my fourth quarter essay. On

May 28, 2021, at 1:20 PM, I realized that I despised my literary essay. On Friday, Mr. Weinstein

and I went over my essay to revise it. I got a 90, which should mean that I’m happy right? No!

When Mr. Weinstein started to read my essay out loud, I loathed it. I don’t know what it was

specifically, I just hated it. Now that I think back to it… I hated it when I submitted it. My essay

was a reflection of the year. How did the literature I read impact or influence me? The alternative

literature I chose were lessons from my brother, Yaw, and the documentary, The Secret. I guess

the two just didn’t mesh or the quoting was bad. I just don’t know! This essay was supposed to

be the best for me and Mr. Weinstein, and in that sense, I feel like I failed. To me, this was the

worst essay I’ve ever written. Anyway, the only thing I can do now is work up the courage to

revise it and get 100! (Future me: I did resubmit it and I got 100! I manifested this.)

Progress

In my opinion, I have made tremendous progress as a writer over the years. In the past, I was

intimidated by writing, and I didn’t know how to write a proper essay. But now, I'm less

intimidated by writing and I know how to write an essay! I know this may seem like something

small to you, but to me, this is extremely significant. My essay writing struggle has finally

ended, and it feels amazing!

Education

For me, being educated about our society is what is important. Of course, core subjects like:

math, science, English, and social studies are important, but being informed about world events

and society are extremely significant. Just think about it!

Experience in Class

I usually hate English class. In the past, it was the class I did the worst in or I enjoyed the

least. On the contrary, English class this year was my favorite — or the class I hated the least —

surprisingly!

The Design

When you look at my portfolio, it may look random. It may not make sense to you, with a

photo from California to a photo that says confidence; however, it makes perfect sense to me…

since I decided to turn my portfolio into my vision board! The website contains pictures I

wanted to use for my vision board a few months ago but never got to do due to APs.

Failure and Success

Over the course of the year, I have been through many failures and successes. I hate having

to experience failures, but I also feel that if I never had them, then I would have never tried ten

times harder to be a success.

Reflection On Pandemic

The pandemic has affected me in ways that I didn’t even notice until a year into it. I didn’t know

how disconnected I was from the world. And, not going to the grocery store every other week --

weirdly -- is what started my mental downfall. When I was able to go to the grocery store, I still

had some connection to the world. But, one thing led to another and I wasn’t allowed. At first, I

was relieved but as the months went on I was becoming more and more confined and I kept

sequestering myself from the world. I didn’t notice this until someone suggested that I should go

outside. Let’s just say my reaction wasn’t pleasant! Before the pandemic, I didn’t have anything

or anyone. I didn’t have friends to talk to or much of social life, so when the pandemic hit it felt
like everyone was in the same boat, which made me feel like I wasn’t alone in my situation. And

when everything started getting better, I didn’t want to reconnect with anything or anyone. I felt

fine in my little bubble! However, later on, I realized that I was not fine at all. With all the social

issues taking place during the pandemic and having no one to talk about it with, it’s driven me

crazy. The social issues impacted me greater than I originally thought.

Visual- Language Arts Pieces

Before The Flood: This piece is a visual response to the documentary, Before The Flood. The

documentary is about climate change and actions you can take to help slow it down. This

documentary was significant to me since it talked about topics that are important to me, but the

people around me tend to laugh about them.

Summer Reading: Thinking back to the beginning of the year when I had to do my summer

reading piece, I was so … unsure? At the time, I felt like I didn’t do actual reading, and it made

me feel like I didn’t have anything good to put down. But, that was before Mr. Weinstein taught

us about alternative literature. After we learned about alternative literature, I realized that I read

so much more than I originally thought!

Poem Explanations/ Reflections

“ARE”— is about a theory I learned in psychology class, General Adaptation Syndrome,

developed by Hans Selye. The three stages are: alarm, resistance, and exhaustion. For instance,

these stages usually take place during finals week in college. Alarm: when your body is on high

alert. Resistance: when your body tries to adapt and maintain itself. Finally, exhaustion: when the

person’s resources are depleted, which leads them to get sick or die(hence the second to the last
stanza). The last stanza is to point out that my teachers are my stressor, causing this pattern to

occur. Teachers usually blame the students for being stressed out or they say that we aren’t

stressed and that we are being overdramatic. This poem is significant to me — even though I

hate poems — because I wrote this at a time when I was very stressed out. And when I’m

stressed, I want to lay on the floor and cry, but when you’re me, you can’t do that. When I’m

stressed, I bottle it up and try my best to get through it, which doesn’t lead to the best outcomes.

Instead of bottling it up this time, I decided to express it in writing poems, which helped relieve

some of the stress.

“Assignments”— is also about the amount of work and stress teachers have been giving

students. Teachers assign a bunch of work and assume that it doesn’t affect their students in any

way. They think that we’ll be fine and there’s nothing to stress about, even though we have eight

or even nine other classes. This has been a recurring theme. It’s honestly part of the reason why I

don’t enjoy school and why I think that stress and depression rates are higher for teenagers. I

don’t want to push all the blame on teachers, however, teachers need to understand our

perspective on certain situations. I know that older generations tend to call us dramatic, but

numbers don’t lie! We need help, but most adults don’t want to hear us.

“Moldavite” — This poem is about moldavite -- a tektite -- and malachite -- a stone --

which both bring change and transformation into your life. People charge them with their

manifestations and they are supposed to help you get to them. But they don’t get you there in the

nicest way. The moldavite takes unneeded things out of your life. The malachite brings up your

past, so you may feel a lot of emotions when you first get it. But in the end, they will help you

become your best self. And writing this poem has allowed me to express my feelings about these

stones and describe the realities of them.

What is an important personal goal you hope to accomplish?

My personal goal is to gain a large amount of confidence so I can have the courage to do

anything I set my mind to. In the past, with certain things, I felt like I couldn’t do it and I feel

that having a lack of confidence is the reason why.

Where do you see yourself in 5, 10, or 20 years?

I’m not sure of what I want to do or be in the future. But in 5-10 years from now, I want to look

back at myself and laugh at myself for being -- extremely-- overdramatic and scared about the

future. I also want to be in a place where I can help other people as much as I can.

Doctor Strange

While I was working on my manifestation research paper, I discovered that Doctor Strange is

very similar to what I was researching! Doctor Strange is about a doctor whose life drastically

changed due to a car accident. His hands were his most-used tool, but after his car accident, he

couldn’t use them as he did before. Since traditional medicine failed him, he decided to seek

alternative treatment. The alternative treatment was healing through belief. Which is very similar

to manifestation. Since manifestation is attracting something into your life simply because you

believe it will.

Notebook Addendums

1/2. The first two pages are from a quick write. While I was doing it, I was feeling stressed and

frustrated about school, so I took my crayons and I scribbled how I was feeling. This quick write

reminds me of the bleed-on-paper lesson from the beginning of the year.

3. My favorite part about this page is the quote from Buddha and the drawing I did with it. I

ended up using this quote for my research paper about manifestation.

4. This is a loop back to a quick write. It is one of my favorites because they are all items I want

to help change. I'm not sure what I want to do in the future, but all I know is that I want to help

others in any way possible.

5. This is a mind map of research paper topics that I was considering doing. When I looked back

at all of the topics, I just felt so heavy. Many of them are very serious topics that people need to

know, but I felt like too much. I like educating myself additionally on these topics, however, I

wanted to do something that was airy.

6. This is from a funny, quick write we did a few months ago. My favorite part is the

autobiography exercise. We had to write a chapter name and/or a book title for our

autobiography. This exercise yielded very funny titles!

7. This is one of the first free writes in my notebook. I love this one because -- I'm doing what I

always do -- I'm talking about the issues of the live-action Mulan. I was trying to amplify the

Asian voices who were -- gratefully -- explaining why the movie wasn't okay.

8. This is a mind map that I hate and love of alternative literature I did over the summer. This

was for my first essay, which did not turn out so well the first time around!

9. This piece was my attempt at abstract art. Most abstract art contains rectangles and squares, so

I wanted to do -- the opposite of squares -- circles. And I love it solely because it's different.

10. Lastly, this is from another quick write. The prompt was “circle,” so I drew a bunch of

circles. The face, eyes, hair, etc. are all circles!