Tell her if she was a Pokemon, you would choose her.

Now, I'm not scooby doo or anything, but I think there may be a clue here.

I think about you 31/7.

About to board the plane to Baltimore. Choo choo!

Benjamin Franklin

I think I will nick name you google because you have everything I have been
searching for.

Are you a jew, cause you israeli hot.

If you were a new hamburger at McDonald's, you would be McGorgeous.

A life without you is like a broken pencil. pointless.

Do you own a jersey? Coz I need your name and number

If you are a basketball I will never shoot coz I will always miss you

Have you gotten a parking ticket recently? 'Cause you've got FINE written all over
you!

"You know what? You are everything I didnt think I wanted in a girl"

You: Hey, do you know what kind of material this is? (Holding out your shirt for
her to feel)
Her: Lol, cotton? Idk?
You: Nah, that's actually boyfriend material

you should go to the pharmacy. Because you're lacking some vitamin me.

Im an astronaut, and my next mission is to explore uranus

you: since we're both good looking, why havent we banged yet?
her: what is wrong with you
you: coming over now

You- I know all 21 letters of the alphabet

Her- lol there are 26

You- Oh I forgot U,R,A,Q,T

- Knock knock
Who's there? -
- Lion
Lion who? -
-Lion in bed thinking of you
-"you never write, you never call. The kids want to know when mom is coming home.
What am I supposed to tell them?"
-i've had a crush on you for years
-triangle, you'd be acute one.
-do you even know what I'm on right now? your mind.
-wanna bangout this weekend?
-having a special sale at my house this weekend.... all clothes 100% off
-do you work at subway? ..because you just gave me a footlong.
- you must be 90 degrees, cause you are looking right

Koala-fications

What do you call a fat computer?

Adele

where does a one legged waitress work? I-hop

what do you call a bear in the rain?

A drizzly bear

rematch tonight?

my mouth vs. your mouth