Always with me

It was a dark and rainy night when I received news of the death of Andru (my father) I
was stunned, with goosebumps and speechless. I had a meeting of feelings that I did not
know whether to run to look for him or collapse and overflow the greatest storm of tears.
It really felt like a dark winter of loneliness. I got used to him, to his voice, his smile, and
his madness. The simple fact of knowing that it will spend days, weeks, months, and
years, without being by my side, my soul will be broken like a crystal glass.

Throughout time there were frightening thoughts that invaded my mind, it is like a feeling
of not wanting to stay in this world, not feeling anything, just sadness, a horrible agony, I
was stunned by not feeling anything other than the feeling that I was getting closer to the
atmosphere and run out of oxygen every time.

My father was my sun, he was always there for me and illuminated my path. He was like
my Forte de Graça, the greatest fortress in the world. Andru radiated light, love, blessing,
he was like ice water in the desert, who accompanied you and supported you to follow
the difficult and long path of life. The rupture of this great nucleus of life within me, was
not compared to the universe.

But one day, I went to the house of the Lord, to ask for strength to continue with my life,
while he prayed, I felt a slight weight on my shoulder. It was something inexplicable, even
with his eyes closed he felt that he was in a garden where there were light winds, a
heavenly aroma, the plants spread essential oils through their leaves. In that moment, he
does not need to see, I don't need to listen, just feel, and I knew that even though he is
gone, he is with me. All feelings of pain, sadness, agony disappeared like smoke in the
fall.

In life people are born as they die, but they do not have an eternal death, because it will
always be in our hearts. The great book of life that he has taught us, with his attitudes
and experiences, we have to put into practice. We must move forward not only for
ourselves, but for those who are leaving for a better place and for those who are still here
and need us. Because you only die when you forget, and my heart will never forget my
wonderful father Andru.

End