Honing your dialogue

Read the following extracts and decide whether they can be considered good dialogue.

“I saw Thomas yesterday,” I recounted, “He did not see me at first, so I had to call out to him. He still looks the
same after all these years.” William nodded his head. “How did you meet him?” he asked. “Well, I was taking
the train to Orchard for dinner and waiting on the platform for my train and Thomas was there too,” I replied.

Once I stepped into the house, I announced, “My friends will be coming over later!” My mother came out of the
kitchen and smiled. “How many of them are coming?” “Five!” I replied. “I shall prepare shepherd’s pie for them
as that is the dish I am most skilled in making!” she hollered enthusiastically.

I glanced at the purse, and then at the old lady. “What do you think I should do with the money?” I asked.

“I think you should hand it over to the police,” the old lady advised calmly, “After all, honesty is the best
policy.”

“What is the matter with you? Are you giving up our friendship because of Lynn, that boring girl who comes
from a single-parent family?” Joyce confronted me, “Have you forgotten that I invited you to my 21st birthday
party last year at Hilton Hotel? It was such a luxurious occasion and I did not invite any other person from our
class.”

My head drooped, “But you must know that Lynn’s life is really pitiful. Her mother has to work two jobs to
raise her up. Lynn also needs to take care of her younger sister who is only six after school so she cannot focus
on her studies. Why must you be so jealous?”

“Why did you squeeze the lemon juice on it?” I pointed accusingly at the plate of piping-hot fried chicken.

“Sorry, did I do something wrong?” Rahman peered quizzically at me, “Lemon with chicken is heavenly!”

I stabbed a piece of the chicken and held it up to my face. “Look, that is your personal preference, okay? How
can you be so sure that everyone likes fried chicken with lemon juice? It makes the meat all soggy!”

“Why are you so sour over this?” Rahman chuckled at his own little joke and turned his attention back to his
lemon-squeezing.

What are some tell-tale signs of bad dialogue?