Learning to expand your ideas

Look at the following paragraph. Do you see what is happening?

I ran as fast as I could. “Come on, you can do it!” my friends shouted. I overtook many of the other
competitors. In the end, I finished first. I was exuberant because I trained very hard for this cross-
country race.

The author is spending far too little time on each scene. Try locating the different scenes.

Scene 1: I ran as fast as I could. “Come on, you can do it!” my friends shouted.

How do we expand it?

1) What were your feelings? Definitely, you will feel tired. But let’s not just say that. There are
different levels of tiredness. Were you lethargic? Drained of all energy? Dizzy with your legs
trembling? You probably felt a rush of excitement. You could have felt adrenaline pumping
through your veins.
2) How did your body react to your feelings? You might have grimaced as every step made you
increasingly nauseous. You probably tried to wipe the sweat off your brows and forehead.
Did you grit your teeth as you forced yourself to push ahead?
3) Describe the supporting characters and surrounding in greater detail. Where was the
location? Was there frenzied activity along the running route? What sounds were there?
Who were the friends cheering for you? How did they show their support, other than
shouting? How were their tones? Were there any competitors near you? How did they look?

Now it’s your turn to have a go. You will be guided with some helping questions.

Scene 2: I overtook many of the other competitors.

1) How did you manage to do that?

2) What were the thoughts going on in your head?
3) At which point of the race did that happen?

Finally, it’s time for you to take baby steps without any helping hands keep you on your feet.

Scene 3: In the end, I finished first. I was exuberant because I trained very hard for this cross-
country race.
Let’s move on to a new scenario.

There was a loud explosion. The smoke was very thick. Shrieks filled the air and people were
running around. I did not know what to do and felt like crying. Suddenly, a fire-engine arrived at
the scene. Immediately, the firemen rushed into the building. They used a hose to spray at the
fire. Soon, the fire was put out. I heaved a sigh of relief.

How many different scenes are there? Identify them and try and expand each of them using the
techniques we have seen earlier. I will help you with the first one.

Scene 1: There was a loud explosion. The smoke was very thick.

1) Describe the intensity of the explosion in greater detail and more vivid language. Same for
the smoke.
2) What were the reactions of everyone involved? What props were there?
3) Where is this scene? Which part of the building did it take place in?

With these pointers in mind, we can put together a complete paragraph.

A thunderous explosion rocked the building. For a moment, the floor shook and the walls
trembled, as if an earthquake had hit us. A cupboard had toppled over from the impact, blocking
off the exit of the office. My eyes smarted as the acrid smoke started to envelope the office. There
was no time to lose if I wanted to get out of here alive! I immediately set out to drag the cupboard
away.

Scene 2:

Scene 3: