DEMANDING ADULTS - POSSIBLE CAUSES OF LEARNED

HELPLESSNESS IN CHILDREN

Jose KC, Lecturer, College of Education, Samtse

Little Thomas Alva Edison’s mother misread out his teacher’s letter: ‘Your son is intelligent and
studious.’ In fact, the letter actually read, ‘Your son is addled and unteachable.’ But the great
mother was unlike the average parents, who would not only read the letter as it was with relish
but would add fuel to the fire by scolding the child such that its self-esteem meter would dip
fatally.

That little Edison soon became a great inventor the world would not forget. Later, he
acknowledged: ‘My mother was the making of me. She was so true, so sure of me, and I felt I
had someone to live for, someone I must not disappoint.’ That was the metamorphosis of the so-
called addled student into a creative genius. It was the sheer power of words – the power of
positive reinforcement of a warm, less demanding mother.

If our world is peopled with such warm adults, let me call them the Chenrezig personalities
(after the name of the Buddhist god of infinite compassion), we will have few cases of
delinquency, withdrawal, student rebellion and learned helplessness. Ms Nancy Edison had
known more than little Thomas’s teacher that her son was sort of ‘unteachable’. But then,
‘nothing succeeds like success.’ ‘Let my son taste success,’ she must have told herself. She was
not the type of adults – like the average verbally harsh school teacher – too demanding with
unduly great expectations of their kids’ academic achievements. Today, parents and teachers at
large primarily desiring their reputation, climb on the little kids’ back, pressurising the little
dragon flies to lift big stones. That is why the Indian poet, Kamala Surayya (2010) cried, “Get
off their back.”
When adults are too demanding, indulgent or indifferent, their children develop, acquire or learn
a sense of helplessness, which is called learned helplessness (LH). LH “describes the
maladaptive passivity that results from believing that important, often negative events are
beyond a person’s control.” (McKean, Joseph, 1994)

A. Causes of children’s learned helplessness

A. 1. Adults’ great expectations

Three categories of adults – be it parents or teachers – thwart proper childhood development:

highly expecting, highly indulgent and indifferent. McDevitt and Ormrod (2004) quotes Harter
(1983) and says, “Parents who punish children for the things they cannot do, without also
praising them for things done well, are likely to have children with low self-esteem.” Such
demanding parents and teachers expect a class homogenous, with all the students performing
equally well, without realising the bare fact that different kid-buds need different blooming
periods. An unforgettable picture is that of Nandakishore Avasti in the Hindi movie “Tare
Zameen pe”, in which the little, 7-year old Avasti is unable to form distinct pictures of the
English alphabets and numerals. The adults who count in his life, his parents and his teacher,
simply disapproves of his inability, scolds him severely and transplant him in a remote boarding
school. Luckily for him, a saviour-teacher comes to the school and the child is redeemed into a
highly talented student. But for this teacher, little Avasti would have been doomed, having to
undergo Objective tests, A-B-C-D-E grading, heavy home works, closed book examinations,
teachers’ word grilling sessions upon failures and so on.

The authoritarian adults cannot generate among the students love for education, as Bertrand
Russell (1895) says. “...they tend to become sadistic disciplinarians, glad to inspire terror, and
content to inspire nothing else. As these men represent knowledge, the pupil acquire a horror of
knowledge, which among the English upper-class, is supposed to be part of human nature, but is
really part of the well-grounded hatred of the authoritarian pedagogue.” Farah (2012) quotes
Cazdin, 1985, “Authoritarian parents are demanding, controlling and highly directive with their
children, and value unquestioning obedience and conformity from children. Being detached and
less warm, they also discourage verbal give-and-take and favour punitive measures to control
their children’s behaviour.”

A. 2. Highly indulgent adults

Equally detrimental to early child development are over-indulgent and over-protective adults,
especially parents. Some parents in their concern for their “under-functioner” child overdo, for
instance, its Home Work, washing clothes and so on, which the child in fact can do. Some
parents “step into the kids’ box” and do things for them because (a) that is faster (b) the work
done is neater and (c) people around ‘appreciate’ their kid. Such “over-functioner” parents are
like the compassionate Biology student in the fable who helps the butterfly come out of its
cocoon. The right step here is to let the butterfly do things on its own (under parents’ guidance).

In the Kuensel issue of September 9, 2000, Jose narrates a story of ‘Pushed Overboard’ of a
swimmer-contestant ‘qualifying’ in a shallow village pond for a District-level swimming contest,
where his ambitious father helps him, unnoticed by the officials. But he almost drowns in the
deep swimming pool during the state-level contest. The ill-prepared swimmer learns a lesson and
stops swimming altogether.

In the school, teachers often act like the “over-functioner” father in the above story in different
scenarios.

A. 2. 1 Multiple teacher roles

A teacher in our schools is much more than a class room teacher owing to ‘wholesome
education’. Education had never been unwholesome, and education ought to be wholesome. But
with the overemphasis on wholesomeness, a teacher, besides a classroom teacher of overcrowded
classrooms, can be/ is a house master, a scout master, a career counselor, a games teacher, a
value instructor, a cultural in-charge, (a time table in-charge, a warden, a matron, a typist, an
accountant and so on). Thus, the academic performance of the teacher and the student suffered.
After all, ‘the cobbler makes the best shoes because he makes nothing else.’

Soon, co-curricular activities started dominating and at times smothering curricular activities in
the school. Preparations for co-curricular activities – be it intra-school, inter-school or inter-
Dzongkhag – most often encroach into academic activities and their strong tentacles rob chunks
of academic concentration. For, the motivator here is that the outside-classroom activities catch
more public attention (to hail the school ‘active’) than the inside-classroom- learning.

Naturally, the teacher somehow ‘covers’ the syllabus and students get enough marks.

A. 2. 2 ‘Cost effectiveness’

One of the jargons in recent education and later in the pedagogic psyche is cost effectiveness.
‘Basic Education for all’ and ‘cost effectiveness’ were well-conceived but when over-
emphasized, they made many resort to saving their faces by playing safe. Many teachers have
found themselves promoting all/ the maximum students, irrespective of whether they achieved
the learning outcomes of their levels or not. In fact, this policy can theoretically do away with the
expensive examinations because the 80 or 90% the top scorers (as judged by the CSA –
Continuous Summative Assessment) can be promoted to the next higher level, without the
terminal written examinations. The parents and community do not know about this “pushing”.
All are ultimately happy and all faces glitter. All that glitters, however, need not be gold.

A. 2.3 A word on the CA.

Internal assessments, or Continual (not ‘continuous’) Assessment is a good way of keeping track
of students’ progress as well as altering the teaching methods, if only professionally done. If not,
it becomes a dangerous way of lavishing marks on students. The CSA (Continuous Summative
Assessment), thus, instead of serving its conceived purpose of helping in learner performance, is
being misused so as to project the image of the school and teachers. In overcrowded classrooms,
CSA is often a ritual and some schools do have a covert school policy of minimum 80% CSA
marks, irrespective of student performance. CA is thus the Cinderella’s slippers and most of our
teachers, like her sisters, try to wear them, injuring their legs. Thus, the teacher is made to act as
an over-indulgent adult.

Does it sound that our teachers act unprofessionally when it comes to CSA? It does. Perhaps, we
in Bhutan have potentially the best teachers in Asia. But, most often, CFA and CSA turn out to
be a means for some teachers to lavish CA marks and thus to project taller bar graphs in their
subjects. Alas! often bar graphs talk more than necessary.

One does agree that failures are sad incidents to all concerned and dent the desire of cost
effectiveness. Thus, the “explanations” are solicited as sincere parental concerns over what might
have gone wrong and a sincere craving to remedy the situation. This, however, is an ideal
situation.

A. 2.4 Weak selection of teacher trainees

I have come across three categories of teachers – those who became teachers by choice, those
who became teachers by chance/compulsion and those who became teachers by chance but have
loved it ever since. Whereas the first and third make an asset to the education system, the second
make a terrible liability to it. So, it is absolutely necessary to check the second group at the entry
– admission to the two teacher education colleges.

But it is sad that this screening most often does not happen. Thus, we have a good number of
liabilities with us, doing only harm to the system. A lot of standard fall can obviously be
attributed to that harm.

That is why selection to the teacher training colleges is so important and so different from that
for any other profession. We must devise well-tailored academic, personality and aptitude tests
for the aspirants to the teaching profession. The one and only concern for these entrance tests is –
quality raw materials for teacher education.
But often, our concerns nowadays at the entry are frayed into:

- under- utility of the teacher education seats

- teacher shortage in our schools

and alas! a compromise results. What an abominably sorry picture!! Teachers are gurus and not
every Tom, Dick and Harry can attain guruhood.

After importing low quality raw materials, the company is sweating to manufacture standard
products, which it just can’t even after adopting half-cooked solutions such as remedial classes
and proficiency tests etc.

The Colleges of Education (and of course, all the tertiary Levels) don’t have the luxury to go
back and drill their graduates in the school skills. After all, it is uncommon to place the fertilizer
on the corn.

A. 2.5 CA and A-B-C-D-E grading

The A-B-C-D-E grading is now globally accepted often in conjunction with CA and other
assessment tools. In the elementary levels at least, this grading system be abolished for its
inherent evils - it has been advised. First, grading categorizes students into high achievers and
low achievers, ‘winners’ and losers’, thus pulling down the majority’s self-esteem. “…this
comparative approach inevitably creates “winners” and “losers.” Children who routinely find
themselves at the bottom of the heap must do some fancy footwork to keep their self-esteem
intact.” (McDevitt, Ormrod, 2004). “The obsession with ‘Good Grades’ can be a harmful
classroom disease, says Richard Reynolds, 1966, in ‘Los Angeles Sunday Times’. Second,
grades are maintained by schools more for records than for assessing students for what they are.
One is reminded of the words of R. K. Narayan (1961), whose writings are prescribed in world
universities, “Oh, but for this noble soul, I’d never have passed in English.” He refers to a
Scottish professor who taught him English and who never took assessments seriously.
Third, grading indirectly promotes cheating in examinations. After interviewing 6000 students
and 600 deans, a Columbia University researcher found that 55% of college students cheat to
obtain grades. Fourth, most teachers hate assessing too many student assignments and grading
them accordingly. Most of them would like this time for the readiness for better lesson delivery.
Fifth, students are not assessed on a level ground because some students struggle to do their
HWs, for example, in disabling conditions at home.

But, in the absence of assessment and grading, how do we know whether students study or not or
teachers teach properly or not? This concern has no ground. Students will love to learn anything
that they like and teachers teach best the content they love. Do children learn a popular movie
song because they will be graded for singing that song?

Another concern about the abolition of grading is whether the high achievers feel demoralized in
a no grading set-up. This has not been proved. On the other hand, the finding is that the above-
average students don’t feel bad so long as their merit is recognized by the teacher, not
necessarily with grades but with, maybe, descriptive feedbacks.

A. 2.6 Objective testing

In order to make grading easy and safe, schools use Objective tests, which test students’
memory, not their critical and evaluative thinking. This is an undoing in education – the inability
to promote critical thinking, problem solving and decision making. No wonder, TV quiz
programmes like ‘Koan Banega Crorepati?’ have become so popular these days.

Dr. Glasser (1985) makes a funny remark that students who can answer facts like exact
definitions etc. are bribed with Grade A for not questioning facts. The episode in the Hindi
movie, ‘Three Idiots’, where a student who gives the definition of a ‘machine’ exactly as in the
text book is credited by the teacher whereas another student’s own, original correct answer is not
accepted. “Everything that is anti-educational, even antihuman, is associated with never taking a
chance, never broadening one’s outlook, never looking into the unknown.” He also comments
that this obsession with facts enabled us to land a man on the moon much before finding a
solution to social discrimination. Besides, while responding to the issue of for example, social
discrimination, students should not be pestered with the hierarchy of the writing process and the
taxonomy of the writing types. These technical concerns normally confuse a child and
disorganize rather than organize the free flow of thoughts. Jose in ‘Bhutan Observer’ (2010)talks
about a student’s learned helplessness in writing in a formal situation, who otherwise writes quite
well.

A. 2.7 Closed-book examinations

Closed book tests (CBTs) is yet another example of the school’s obsession with facts. If critical,
evaluative, problem solving and decision making skills are tested, open books are no harm. Did
T. S Eliot (1948) write his critical essay ‘Metaphysical Poets’, for example, with all the books on
the topic closed? Closed-book examinations are based on the bad logic that knowledge
memorized is better than knowledge looked up (Glasser, 1985). An examination should be
testing how correctly and fast the examinee can use tools of education – texts, dictionaries, maps,
statistics etc.

A. 3. Indifferent adults

A segment of the adult population is indifferent and unconcerned about the child’s growth. Such
indifferent parents just provide food and shelter to their kids, starving them in their emotional
needs. Unconcerned teachers just do their teacherly duties of delivering the lesson and filling in
clerk-like the various school forms punctually and politically correctly. Such a scenario is a
casualty in ECCD.

Quoting Oates, 1996, Farah (2012) says, “Parents’ response to the child’s emotions and
expressive behaviours profoundly influences the development of other interpersonal
relationships formed in later childhood or adult life.”

The tragedy of uncared children fills many of the pages of ‘A Cry of the Heart’(2012). Nim Dorji
of Zhemgang left uncared at the age of 8, had a roller-coaster- ride of risky life until he met
Lama Shenphen Zangpo, who rescued him. Jamyang from Pemagatshel felt emotionally
shattered when first her parents got divorced and second when her womanhood was threatened.
Soon, she tried to comfort herself in substance abuse until she made a return to normal life with
the help of the Serbithang Rehab centre.

The book has the case studies of Namgay Wangdi, Dechen Wangmo, Kinley Penjor, PAssang
Dorji, Pema Norbu and Sonam Penjor etc. – touching, poignant tales of mostly unfeeling adults
who precipitate low self-esteem and helplessness in other human beings.

B. Tools of enforcement

In order to see that their demands are met, adults use mainly two tools – the hand and the mouth.
As the adults rule the world, children have no other option than to yield to their demands. In the
early days of traditional teaching/learning (for example, monastic schools) the cane was all-
powerful did the magic of blind obedience. Corporal punishment was the order of the day. The
Indian writer, R. K Narayan (1961) says:

“In my boyhood, the teacher never appeared in public without the cane in hand. I
used to think that one’s guru was born clutching a cane in his right hand… He took a
deep inhalation before proceeding to flick the cane on whatever portion of myself
was available for the purpose… I could never imagine that a simple error of
calculation in addition, subtraction or multiplication (I never knew which) would
drive anyone hysterical… I found that the cane, being discredited, has yielded place
to the foot-rule, especially in ‘convent’ schools. The foot-rule has the advantage
over the primitive birch of mauling without marking (which could count as an
achievement in torturing technique) and it also possesses the innocent appearance of
non-violent, pedagogic equipment.

In recent years, with an explicit ban on physical punishment, schools have found a new
enforcement tool, worse and deadlier than the cane – word grilling. Jose (2009) in his article in
‘The Bhutan Observer’ recounts the story of a certain Gane, who first advised against truancy,
was later physically dealt with into conformity with the teacher’s standpoint. The writer says:

‘Word’ when s-prefixed becomes ‘sword’. And ‘s’ stands for ‘severe’. No wonder, my
daughter dreaded the so-called ‘conselling’ by her school-counsellors in India. She
said it was not ‘counselling’; rather, it was ‘grilling’. I would use Jug Suraiya’s
statement, “‘Word’ is a four-letter word” to apply to such grilling sessions. And, she
preferred corporal punishment to such word grilling. I bet she is one of the very many
who would hold such preferences.

In the emotional well-being of a child, adults’ language use, selection of vocabulary and idiom
etc. play a vital role. Farah (2012) notes, “Parental use of abusive language with children might
lead to low self-esteem and inferiority complex, sense of helplessness and worthlessness
(Hayman, 1987). Verbal abuse is considered to be at the core of emotionally abusive behavior.”

C. Learned Helplessness and Low Self-esteem

The foregoing discussion on adults’ high expectation, indulgent adults and indifferent adults
besides their ways of enforcing their demands lead us to an obvious conclusion – children in
such adults’ hands will suffer from a condition called ‘learned helplessness’ and ‘low self-
esteem’, which are big hurdles on their way of success in life.

Dr. Glasser (1985) asserts that among the variety of people he interacted with – adults, children,
adolescents and mentally challenged children etc. – though some adolescents and adults rated
themselves to be failures, not a single young child considered itself to be failure. For, “…failure
is almost exclusively an adult way of looking at school (and also perhaps at life).”

The stamp of failure and comparative performance rating through grades – which happen after
children reach the school, never before - inject in the low graders LH and lowered self-worth.
Normally, children and adolescents have a brute confidence of ‘I can do it’, which is termed
‘mastery orientation’ (Mc Devitt, Ormrod, 2004). But soon after becoming school students,
some of them develop certain diffidence, a kind of conviction that they cannot succeed in certain
areas now and future. “Even 4- and 5-year-olds can develop learned helplessness about a
particular task if they consistently encounter failure when attempting it.” (Burhans &Dweck,
1995; Ziegert, Kistner, Castro & Robertson, 2001 quoted by Mc Devitt, Ormrod, 2004)

Coined by Martin Seligman and Steve Maier (1975), LH is a situation in which the victim of an
adversity or a problem learns that it has no control over it to overcome it or solve it. Such failures
repeat and it leads to the conclusion of helplessness and a sense of ‘unbelongingness.’ According
to Seligman, LH produces three deficits: motivational, emotional and cognitive. Confronted with
similar problems, say a problem in Algebra, the child procrastinates solving the problem as it had
already lost motivation; the child feels low, thinking, ‘Only some of my friends can solve it, not
I’ (low self-esteem and high self contempt); the child feels his thinking process is switched off
and has no concentration – cognitive deficit.

Once the LH has crept into a child, adults start labeling him/her accordingly, which in turn
worsens the helplessness in it. Beauchamp (1996) cites Hughes (1984a) first: “Inferred self-
esteem may be differentiated from self-reported self-esteem. Parents and teachers make
inferences about children’s self-esteem from their behavior and often attribute behavioural
difficulties to low self-esteem.” He then cites Harter, 1990, 1993: “These inferences may
influence how the adult interacts with the child, further affecting the child’s self-esteem.”

Researches show that unless LH is treated properly in young children, it can worsen so as to lead
to more failures. Sutherland and Singh (2004) say:
…research in classrooms for students with emotional and behavioural disorders
reveals infrequent opportunities to respond and low rates of correct responding and
reinforcement for success. Thus, an environment of academic deprivation is created,
further contributing to high rates of academic failure and increased risk for LH
behavior patterns manifested by a lack of motivation and persistence.
Thus, positive feedback and reinforcement are very important in dealing with LH. They further
cite Burhans and Dweck (1995) and note that children who exhibit LH may view their self-worth
not as contingent on their ability, but on the approval or positive feedback from others.

D. An anti-GNH Scenario
The discussion so far shows not-so-healthy a school and family atmosphere, where adults are too
demanding and less warm and at least some children are preys to LH, self-pity and low self-
esteem. Thus, it runs counter to the GNH-domains of mental and spiritual health and that of
community vitality. We cannot afford to lose such a good number of young LH children in
schools. Something has to be done with passionate earnestness lest they should become failures
in life. So, a GNH-society that Bhutan is, should adopt a path of solution, which I term ‘Training
our parents and teachers as Chenrezig personalities’

D.1. Adults as Chenrezig personalities

The Buddhist god of infinite love and compassion, Chenrezig, is pictured as having eleven
heads, thousand hands with an eye each on the hands. Thus, the god can ensure that all our
parents and teachers are compassionate and all our young children are free from LH. The
following table suggests a five-point training curriculum framework for our elders who deal with
young children:
Sl. Name Explanation
No
1. Seligman’s ABCDE Martin Seligman tried his theory of Learned Optimism to counter
approach of LO LH. First, he used Ellis’ tool of ABC (=adversity, belief,
against LH. consequence) and expanded it into ABCDE (= + disputation,
energization). Adults are trained in this ABCD approach
2. Carl Roger’s According to Carl Rogers (1902-87), if an adult trains himself/
‘genuine, accepting, herself to be a person with the triple personality traits – genuine
empathetic’ qualities. congruence, unconditional acceptance and empathy -, the children
associated with him/her will have no problems of LH and low self-
esteem. Adults are trained to become Rogerian Personalities.
3. Stepping out of the First, self-appraise whether the adult is an “over-functioner” or not.
kids’ box, unaffected If yes, then, gradually, step out of the child’s box – suggest but not
by ‘changeback’ take over. The child may sulk, blackmail emotionally and get
 mood off – the ‘changeback’. It does not matter. Cease to be
overdoing and then the child will cease to underdo. Overdoing
adults are trained to refrain from interfering with the child’s
getting independent.
4 Socratic Catechism Instructions at home and school can switch over from fact-memory
contrasted with learning to problem-solving and critiquing using the Socratic
fact/memory questioning. Adults are trained in Socratic catechism
(objective tests)
5. SCE’s Jrs’ academic Anita Magafas (1991) in the work, ‘At-Risk Youth Find Meaning
adoption/ in Service Projects’, and Brendtro, Ness and Nicolaou (1983) in
Magafas(1991) their work, ‘Re-educating Troubled Youth’(both cited by Mueller
service projects and
(2012)in her ‘Creating a safe and caring work environment’) argue
re-educating troubled
youth in people-to- that the so-called disruptive youth are found to do excellent social
people projects. services and projects with dedication. Along this line, a group of
32 III year B.Ed student teachers have been engaged in a project,
‘Juniors’ academic adoption’, (second year running now) in
collaboration with the Samtse Lower Secondary School
management. Here, class III/IV children are helped academically
so that they overcome their possible LH and low self-esteem.
Adult student teachers and volunteers can be trained in such
projects.

E. Conclusion
The most important facilitator in the learning of a young child and later the success of an adult is
the success identity created in early childhood and the two main places this identity is created
are home and school. AND, the adults in these two places – parents and teachers – need to be
warm, compassionate and unconditionally accepting, never authoritarian and judgmental. A non-
thinking school system, where only facts rule the Gradgrindian way (after Charles Dickens) and
memory the yardstick of excellence, should undergo an overhauling.

Dr. Glasser (1985) narrates a telling episode of children labeled misfits. Seven Caucasian girls in
Portland, Oregon, labeled juvenile delinquents by parents or law, described in front of a large
crowd in unambiguous terms that they were failures in school and so in life. They find marriage
as an escape, in which they are not confident they would succeed. They are resigned,
“lackadaisical or apathetic.”
Dr Glasser says they had no classical trappings of failure – they are average or above average in
intelligence, some though from broken families still have one parent who they think love them.

Other factors such as poverty, colour discrimination and physical impairment could contribute to
their resignation but were not the factor – it was school failure. So Glasser says, “If school
failure does not exist, other handicaps can be easily overcome.”

Schools can become breeding grounds for the success identity if they stop the grading system in
the primary levels, avoid the Objective tests, initiate Open Book exams, ban excessive home
works and teachers grow into Rogerian or Chenrezig personalities.

-----------------------

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