Me As I See Me

There are 7 letters in the word ‘nervous’. As people, we naturally get nervous in response to
stress, like when meeting new people, or when you’re called in an oral recitation you didn’t study for,
all in all, because of it we mess things up even more. For others, those 7 letters would pass by in a
blink, and it’s true, but for people who’s sick like me, we are most affected by those 7 letters every
single day and at the same time, with its 61 synonyms.

I get nightmares about my imperfections. I couldn’t sleep, and during the day I get scared of
the eyes of others that might judge me. I’m scared of the whispers in my head that constantly say I’m
not good enough, so to go against those voices I try to do my best at everything. I especially focus on
my studies, I admit that there are times when I’m lazy but I’m easily inspired, and just by watching my
classmate’s works motivates me. I am active when it comes to participating in school competitions, I
simply find joy in proving that I also work hard. ‘I work hard’, 3 words and yet so hard to fulfill. To
survive in school, my definition of studying is writing my own script of the possible questions that I
might encounter in class. Everything is scripted, from my self introduction to my oral-recitations.
Without my script, I would stutter- and that’s one of my nightmares.