Listening LEARNING OBJECTIVES Module 17 explores the crucial role of listening in business, sharing ways to enhance your own skills. After completing the module, you should be able to Lo 17-1 Explain good listening strategies for LO 17-4 Recognize value in leadership the workplace. through listenin LO 17-2 Apply strategies for active listening. LO 17-5 Recognize value in active listening Lo 17-3 Apply techniques for during disagreements. acknowledgment responses. istening is the form of communication we practice most often. Yet because we rarely have formal training in it, it may be the one that we do most poorly. Listening is even more crucial on the job than itis in classes, but it may also be more difficult. Because people routinely listen—to voices, to ‘music, to nature—they can overestimate their skills, and the classroom experience is more structured than many work situations.Polish your listening sks. Youll ned them on the wel as in your persona Ife ON AL SCALE OF ONE TO fa STEN, HOW WOULD YOu RATE YOUR LISTENING SKILLS? Yes! 7~ FRANK & ERNST. © Thaves/Dist. By Unted Feature Syndicat, inc + In class you're encouraged to take notes. But you can’t whip out a notepad every time your boss speaks + Many classroom lectures are well organized, with signposts (>> Module 20) and repetition of key points to help hearers follow. But conversations usually wander. A key point about when a report is due may be sandwiched in among statements about other due dates for other projects + Inaclassroom lecture, you're listening primarily for information. In interchanges with friends and co-workers, you need to listen for feelings, too, Feelings of being rejected or overworked need to be dealt with as they arise. But you can’t deal with a feeling unless you are aware of it As Module 2 explains (4p. 23), to receive a message, the receiver must first perceive the message, then decode it (that is translate the symbols into meaning), and then interpret it, In interpersonal communication, hearing denotes perceiving sounds. Listening means decoding and interpreting them correctly. What do good listeners do? 017-1 > They consciously follow four practices. Good listeners pay attention, focus on the other speaker(s) in a generous way rather than ‘on themselves, avoid making assumptions, and listen for feelings as well as for facts Pay Attention ‘Good listening requires energy. You have to resist distractions and tune out noise (4p. 24), ‘whether the rumble of a truck going by or your own worry about whether your parking meter is expiring Some listening errors happen because the hearer wasn't paying enough attention to a key point. After a mecting with a client, a consultant waited for the client to send her more information that she would use to draft a formal proposal to do a job for the client, It turned ‘out thatthe client thought the next move was up to the consultant, The consultant and the client had met together, but they hadn't remembered the same facts. To avoid listening errors caused by inattention, + Before the meeting, anticipate the answers you need to get. Make a mental or paper list of your questions. When is the project due? What resources do you have? What is the ‘most important aspect of this project from the other person's point of view? During a ‘conversation, listen for answers to your questions. + At the end of the conversation, check your understanding with the other person, Especially check who does what next. + After the conversation, write down key points that affect deadlines or how work will be evaluated, Module 17 Listening 288 Peychologist Susan Krauss \Wnitbourne wonders it ‘echnoiogy is affecting our expectations for stemuaton While isering. She nots ‘hat the average istener ‘ractonalyrecuites a shit in stimulation ater about 20 ‘nutes, but "with apie messages coming everywhere ‘tom Faceoook to Twitter to push notifications ftom fonine games, many people require a shit in stimulation er perhaps as sort as 20 seconds." There's ven a name forthe blank expression when notlistoring: screen saver "11 Ways That ‘eto Littering Can Help Your FelatonsnipsPaycholoay Tey Mach 13,2072, Np menipsychologtday.comitlog! ‘ter any-sge/201208/11- ways acive istonrg can p= yourvelatonsnps LUstering is vital skin foreign language acaustion. The Unversity of Otawa’s Lary Vandergift found that wiben students learning French were ‘aught specie lilering sl, ‘hey “sgnfcanty outperformed ‘he other cassmatee in ‘comprehension, The stu’ resus were silt that ‘of one in Singapore, where (Chinese studn's learning English eportedinreasea rmetivaton and contence, Source: Arie Murphy Pad. The Power of Sat Listening” Time, Deceroer 7.2011, tb Ideas tne om/201 1207! ‘he-power of sar tsterin.280 Unit Five Interpersonal Communication ‘Mest people speak at about 125 worl per mint, eventhough wo can thnk at 4C0-600 werds permite. Tis eteronco n rates leaves plenty of opportunity ‘orustobe thinking when we shouldbe listering. Some of us make matters worse by exposing cusolves to dangorous raise levels. For instance, 8 ‘suc snows that wo out of fre high schoo’ stents surveyed. listen to MPS cavers al volumes ‘hat put thom ats or hearing loss. Atte hignest volume, the decibels comparabie to ‘hal of ajt taking tt. Sources: Pa J Meyer, “Ustenng fore Teta Messago, Success, March 27,2008, downloade st twa suocasemagazine com Lstering fortre-ota Message! PARAMS/arel/TeB/nanne/211% snd Mason Faw, “Pod Hearing bes Concerns: 8 Busing Prosem” March 20,2008, comvoaded at hpi not cometh} 5012/eetal hin, Goto wwwes!-lab.com ESUEFL speakers can practice istening to Engish ‘conversations at Randals ESL (jber Listening Lab Focus on the Other Speaker(s a Generous Way ‘Some people listen looking for flaws. They may focus on factors other than the substance of the talk: “What an ugly tc,” “She sounds like a litle girl.” “There's a typo in that slide. Or they may listen as if the discussion were a war, listening for points on which they can attack the other speaker, “Ah hah! You're wrong about that!” ‘Good listeners, in contrast, are more generous. They realize that people who are not pol- ished speakers may nevertheless have something to say. Rather than pouncing on the first error they hear and tuning out the speaker while they wait impatiently for their own turn to speak, good listeners weigh all the evidence before they come to judgment. They realize that they can learn something even from people they do not like. To avoid listening errors caused by self-absorption, + Focus on the substance of what the speaker says, not his or her appearance or delivery. + Spend your time evaluating what the speaker says, not just planning your rebuttal + Consciously work to learn something from every speaker. Avoid Making Assumptions Many listening errors come from making faulty assumptions. In 1977, when two Bocing 747 jumbo jets ran into each other on the ground in Tenerife, the pilots seem to have heard the control tower's instructions. The KLM pilot was told to taxi to the end of the runway, tum around, and wait for clearance. But the KLM pilot assumed he didn’t need to follow the order to wait, The Pan Am pilot assumed that his order to turn off atthe “third intersec- tion” meant the third unblocked intersection. He didn’t count the first blocked ramp, so he ‘was still on the main runway when the KLM pilot ran into his plane at 186 miles an hour. ‘The planes exploded in flames; 576 people died." In contrast, asking questions can provide useful information. Magazine advertising account representative Beverly Jameson received a phone call from an ad agency say~ ing that a client wanted to cancel the space it had bought. Jameson saw the problem as an opportunity: “Instead of hearing ‘cancel’ I heard, "There's @ problem here—Iet’s {ct to the root of it and figure out how to make the client happy.” Jameson met with the Client, asked the right questions, and discovered that the client wanted more flexibility. ‘She changed some of the markets, Kept the Business, and turned the client into a repeat customer? ‘To avoid listening errors caused by faulty assumptions, + Don’t ignore instructions you think are unnecessary. Before you do something else, ‘check with the order giver to see if in fact there is a reason for the instruction, + Consider the other person’s background and experiences. Way is this point important to the speaker? What might he or she mean by it? + Paraphrase what the speaker has said, giving him or her a chance to correct your understanding. Listen for Feelings as Well as Facts Sometimes, someone just needs to blow off steam, to vent (> p. 302). Sometimes, people just want to have a chance to fully express themselves; “winning” or “losing may not matter. Sometimes, people may have objections that they can’t quite put into words. To avoid listening errors caused by focusing solely on facts, + Consciously listen for feelings. + Pay attention to tone of voice, facial expression, and body language (4 p. 42) + Don’t assume that silence means consent. Invite the other person to speak.lzabeth Gonzalez-Gann founded Jan-Co Janitorial anc ratinoy| listens to nput tom famiy members, ‘mary of whom are employees, She is ptures hore with partner and brother, Femando Gonzalez. Said Monica Lozano, presen anc CEO COpiion newspaper Latina centroproneuss such as Gonzalez. Gar ‘may be “more collaborative, batter ‘male-dominated teks, Gonzalez ‘Gann current puss nce the Diet of Hope weight oss program, Sources: Mark Fazer, ‘Rompeido [Novomior 2008; and “Nigra "Worker Teed Nationa sess Lsaser Shaves Aanecte of Scess, Palbasquetoralecen2011/08Mmgrant rage suracrnasona buses ee ars-espcte oases altho What is active listening? Lo 17-2 > Feeding back the literal meaning, the emotional content, or both, In active listening, receivers actively demonstrate that they've heard and understood fa speaker by feeding back either the literal meaning or the emotional content or both, ‘Other techniques in active listening are asking for more information and stating one's own feelings. Five strategies ereate active responses: + Paraphrase the content, Feed back the meaning in your own words, + Mirror the speaker’s feelings. Identify the feelings you think you hear. + State your own feelings. This strategy works especially well when you are angry. + Ask for information or clarification. + Offer to help solve the problem. Instead of simply mirroring what the other person says, many of us immediately respond in a way that analyzes or attempts to solve or dismiss the problem, People with problems need first ofall to know that we hear that they're having a rough, time. Figure 17.1 lists some of the responses that block communication. Ordering and interrogating tell the other person that the speaker doesn't want to hear what he or she haas (o say, Preaching attacks the other person. Minimizing the problem suggests that the other person's concern is misplaced. Even advising shuts off discussion. Giving a quick answer minimizes the pain the person feels and puts him or her down for not seeing (what is to us) the obvious answer. Even if itis a good answer from an objective point of view, the other person may not be ready to hear it. And sometimes, the off-the-top-of-the-head solution doesn’t address the real problem. Active listening takes time and energy. Even people who are skilled active listeners can't do it all the time, Furthermore, as Thomas Gordon and Judith Gordon Sands point ‘out, active listening works only if you genuinely accept the other person's ideas and feel- ings, Active listening can reduce the conflict that results from miscommunication, but it alone cannot reduce the conflict that comes when two people want apparently inconsistent things or when one person wants to change someone else.” Module 17 Listening 291 Research suggests innocent people tend to be more nervous under pole ‘Questioning than gully ones With a rehearsed alin mind, lars may appear composed. In ‘contrast, innocent people may ‘idget, as wel as prove up to 30% more etai—even i they. recall some tac inconecty, Source: Dra Tero Fasten, "Spoting Lies: Listen, Dont Look™ NPR, agit 14, 2008, to wuanprogfenglates/sorystoy. Prptonia= 111800280. SZ Hearing and Listening Hearing ceotes proving unc Listening nears ecesing and interpreting them correct ‘To make i clear that youre listening, “+ Make eye contact with tho ‘speaker Don't do unrelated paperwork. + Avec body language ike looking at your watch ‘or shusfing papers that suggests that you want the ‘conversation to end. Source: Witiam G Pagris, “ecdesip a Comat Zane” Harvars Businoss Review, December 2007, 198282 Unit Five Interpersonal Communication “08 Fry FRA Blocking Response Possible Active Response Ordering, threatening Paraphrasing content Berle Fora groups bac “IGonitear how you do it Just ot thatreport You saying that you don'thave toto stone ino a vary of on my desk by Fay.” fish the report by Fy” wchetpes: Grows, eee ane roused trom beter han a ho ‘Mccrcee th deparmert robe for n,aaco rh ono Pane toro eo ee Provan Ore, the Pearle, refers to cae enaa Cen a Useleacns ars questions as —_‘Interogating ‘Stating one's own feelings {008 to ge speeches, He ces “Why can you tel me that you cc “Tm fusated that the ob nt competed yet the appearance of Tho Daly understand the insure?” ane im wonvad abou geting it done on tne. ‘Show's Jon Stent on CAVE, inmizing the problem ‘Asking for information or clariiation Grossfe—-weenechasised yy tun that's ad, You shoud see what | _“Whal paso the problem seem most cicut the shows debate platorm 88 aye to dons Wook” tosober theater forthe two hast overt polica vaus—as noutngot Advising Offering to help solve the problem together the Preamble method “Wal hy don you ty isting everthing you. “i thee arching I culd ds that woud help?” ave to do and seeing which tems ar most Sowa Baie Fara, Laing eer to Sea Power Listener” Fast \Sempany March 1, 2012s! Soure: Th 5 sponses tha ck communication ae bse on a stot 121 Thomas Gan ane th Goren wutastcompanscom'BIO86N/ Sais DET. Acton New Vos Wyden, 1976, 117-18 Teaming to 0-8 power etna How do | show people that I’m listening to them? Lo 17-3 - » Aero commer hos nel is nda Sree ee ee ake heme costes mesons Recreate is ey ee cee ree ee a oe + Avoid making assumptions. _ents than to While clients * Similarly, black supervisors may want verbal feedback when * Ustn rtning 8 We 2s hey alk to white subordinates who ony nod ‘The anaes US, cue shows ateton and inolemet by raking ye conc lan ing forward, and making acknowledgment responses, However x Mele 3 hows a. some cts show respect by looking dovn, na mlcutur workforce, you won' always iow wheter a coleague who ites ent ax yout ages vith what you vay or iengrece ley bt i fo ple o say so, The best thing to do so obser the behavior, without ‘Mrgning a meaning oi "You ae saying nce let he ter person speak Of cout, if you go tough he motions of sce isening but then act wit aegpect, people wil nt fel a though yo have Heard them. Acting on Wha people say i neces ary for peopl to feel completly har Goto http://www.tattcollege.edu/ Iro/quizzesfisttest.ntm . Test your listening skills. Can | use these techniques if | really disagree with someone? 1017-5 > Yes! Most of us do our worst listening when we are in highly charged emotional situa- tions, such as talking with someone with whom we really disagree, getting bad news,Leading by Listening D. Michael Abrashoff knows a lot about the value of listening. He now is an author and leadership development consultant, but ‘until January 1999, Abrashoff commanded the US'S. Benfold, 1 billion warship in the U.S. Navy. Abrashoff practiced what hae called “grassroots leadership"; seeing the ship through the eyes of the crew "Soon after ativing at this command ... I realized that my job was to listen aggressively... I decided (o interview five people a day .. askling] three simple questions: What do you like most about the Benfold? What do you like least? What ‘would you change if you could? tackled the most demoralizing things first—Like chipping and painting. Because ships sit in salt water and rust, . my ‘youngest sailors—the ones I wanted most to connect with—were spending entire days sanding down rast and repainting the ship. It ‘was a huge waste of physical effor.” Abrashoff had all the metal parts replaced with stainless steel and then painted with a rust inhibitor. “The entite process cost just $25,000, and that paint job is good for 30 years. The kids haven't picked up a paintbrush since, And they've had a lot more time to lear their jobs. “A lot of them wanted to go to college, But most of them had never had a chance to take the SAT. So I posted a sign-up sheet to see how many would take the (est if T could arrange it. Forty-ive sailors signed up. I then found an SAT administrator through our ‘base in Bubrain and flew him out tothe ship to give the test. That ‘was a simple step for me to take, but it was abig deal for morale, ‘Most ships report several family problems during every deployment, and most of those problems result from lack of ‘communication. Tereated an AOL account for the ship and set ‘up a system for sending messages daily through a commercial satellite. That way, sailors can check in with their families, take par in important decisions, and get a litle peace of mind.” In the Navy as a whole, only 54% of sailors sign up fora third tour of duty, Under Abrashofl’s command, 100% of career sailors or being criticized, At work, you need to listen even to people with whom you have major conflicts. AN Building a Critical Skill signed on for an additional tour. Because recruiting and taining cost the Navy at least $100,000 a sailor, Abrashotf estimates that the Benfold’s retention rate saved the Navy $1.6 million in 1998. ‘Meanwhile, Benfold sailors were promoted at twice the rate of the Navy's average, Sailors were so productive that in fiscal 1998 the Benfold retumed $600,000 of its $2.4 million maintenance ‘budget and $800,000 of its $3 million repair budget to the Navy. Sources: ww glsworid com, downloaded on July 2, 2012; “The Most Important Thing a Capiin Can Do Tso See the Ship from the Byes af the (Cen Fat Company, Apel 1999, 114-26; and "Fst Pack 2000" Fast ‘Company, Mares 2000, 248, Instant Replay Ata minimum, good listening enables you to find out why your opponent objects to the programs or ideas you support. Understanding the objections to your ideas is essential if ‘you are to overcome those objections. Good listening is crucial when you are criticized, especially by your boss. You need to know which areas are most important and exactly what kind of improvement counts. Otherwise, you might change your behavior in a way that wasn't valued by your organization. Strategies for Active Listening, Paraphrase the content Minor the speaker's fesings. State your own feoings. sk tor oration of clartoaton, Listening can do even more. Listening to people is an indication that you're taking them «Ofer to nelp sove the seriously. If you really listen to the people you disagree with, you show that you respect problem. them. And taking that step may enable them to respect you and listen to you.284 Unit Five Interpersonal Communication Summary of Learning Objectives + Good listeners pay attention, focus on the other speaker) rather than on themselves, avoid making assumptions, and lis- ten for feelings as well as for facts. (LO 17-1) + To avoid listening errors caused by inattention, (LO 17-1) + Be conscious of the poinis you need to know and listen for them + At the end of the conversation, check your understanding with the other person, + After the conversation, write down key points that affect , Paraphrase the statement. ‘Check for feelings that might lie behind the statement. 4. Offer inferences that might motivate the statement. + What do you think prevents people from listening efec~ tively? What advice would you have for someone on how to listen more accurately? As Your Instructor Directs, ‘4. Shae your information with «small group of students in your class », Present your findings orally . Present your findings in a memo to your instructor 4. Join with other students to present your findings in a ‘group report or presentation. ‘a, Share your information with @ small group of students ‘in your class », Present your findings orally Present your findings n a memo to your instructor 4. Join with other students to present your findings in a group report of presentation. ‘4. Share your information with «small group of students in your class bs, Present your findings orally , Present your findings in a memo to your instructor. 4. Join with other students to present your findings in a {group report or presentation. Polishing Your Prose ry ollie. I insalled the equipment, [became more efficent. Better: At the oflice supply store, I purchased a computer, c fax machine, and a laser printer. After installing the equipment, I became more efficient ine sentences in one of four ways. Use transitions: words and phrases that signal connections between ideas. Common transitions are first, second, third