An all-male lineup. Letters of ESL students. Cultural relativism.

recommendation for
women that highlight
their physical
attributes.

Exams missed for University PR. The lone That guy.

religious reasons. conservative voice
of dissent.

Liberal bias. Proper recognition Blackface. Cultural

of the validity of the appropriation.
white male
perspective on this
issue.

Fraternities. Strategic Censorship. Online harassment.

administrative
incompetence.

Excellence. Grade inflation. Second-class Committee work

faculty. that falls
disproportionately
on women and
minorities.
The ivory tower. Metaphysics. Transferable skills. Critical thinking.

Ad hominem Rate My Professor. The job market. Tone policing.

arguments.

Political Victimhood culture. Department Nazi analogies.

correctness. meetings.

Self-citations. $95 textbooks. Ancient Greek An emotionally

mythology. exhausted
department chair.

Postmodernism. Tinder. The internet. Trigger warnings.

A very specific Wearing sweats to Plagiarism. Knowledge transfer.
research area that meetings.
nobody else cares
about even slightly.

Synchronicity. Safe spaces. Chaucerian fart Elbow patches.

jokes.

Non-functional AV Reading out a Reviewer #2. The entire fucking

equipment. sixty-page journal academy.
article in a
monotone.

“Hard” science. Cultural capital. Employment Grant funding.

prospects.

Tenure. Feminism. The race card. Gender.

bell hooks. Your dean. An all-white faculty. The token “diverse”
person.

Research driven by Inaccessible Noam Chomsky. Poetry.

identity politics. conferences.

18th Century British “Service”. Centralized Academic freedom.

drama. university
administration.

Freedom of speech. Medieval literature. Students texting in The university’s

class. strategic plan.

Downsizing your University rankings. Rejection. The open secret

apartment. that Professor X is a
serial sexual
harasser.
Thank you for a What the hell are Sure, In this course we
great talk. I’m just you going to do with ___________________ will explore
wondering how it a major in exists. But is it real? __________________
relates to __________________? and its effects on
__________________. __________________.

PICK 2

Although we read Unfortunately we Since the dawn of My dissertation was

your submission need to prioritize time, mankind has going to be about
with interest, we __________________ pondered __________________
cannot accept it at so there will be no fundamental but my advisor
this time owing to funding for questions about made me switch to
__________________
__________________. this semester. __________________. __________________.

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I feel like we ought __________________ You can only write In this world nothing
to take a more is regarded as an about can be said to be
nuanced approach esteem indicator in __________________ certain, except
to my field. once you have __________________
__________________. tenure. and
__________________.

PICK 2

New textual analysis __________________: “The Kids Aren’t My CV lists

of Jane Eyre reveals a case study in Alright: __________________
____________________
how deeply Brontë __________________. as my area of
and
was influenced by ____________________ specialism.
__________________. in Twenty- First
Century Youth
Culture”.
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“_________________ There are many Linguists now I gave it a B+. I liked

By Any Other Name interpretations of believe that the idea about
Would Smell as __________________. __________________ ___________________
Sweet? How Words Therefore it is actually derives from but the discussion of
Influence our vague and doubtful. __________________. ___________________
Perception of didn’t quite fit.
_________________”.
PICK 2 PICK 2 PICK 2