Religion - from my own perspective

Andrea Bardocz

07.15.2021.
 In this essay I will try to explain my perspective on being

religious, showing some examples from our congregation, our

partner congregation, and even exploring the world’s richest people’s opinion on

it, bringing everything together as a reflection of my faith.

Growing up in a half Catholic half Unitarian family was

interesting. My father is Catholic who doesn’t practice his religion. My mother is

Unitarian and she always urged me to practice her religion. For my father it was easier

to come to church with us, so we could show up as a whole family, not just part

of it. Over time he got known and loved by the congregation. He is a man

of doing. Whenever there was a task and a helping hand was needed, he was there.

I was baptized Unitarian. Therefore inhered my mother’s family

religion. When I was a child, we (classmates) made a competition out

of going to the church. Whoever went there more frequently, won some kind of prize,

like a book or something. That prize was our motivation to go to the church. And our

religion teacher. When I missed one Sunday, I was asked in front of the whole class,

why didn’t I show up. Like it was some kind of mandatory thing. I was 10 years old

back then. I was bored during the sermon. All of the kids were. Our minister didn’t

really address the sermon to us. We felt left out. It became a pure obligation

to go there once a week. So after confirmation, we slowly

but surely left our habit. Years and years passed by and I didn’t care if

it was Sunday. I didn’t feel the urge to go there. My memories from

there were about the boredom, the not understanding what is it all about.

Let’s jump in time to my last year of high school. In 2009

I won some kind of scholarship that was supported by the church’s American

partners. 
 So my obligation of going to the church every single Sunday came back to my

life. This was a way of me showing support to my congregation. And my parents

needed to accompany me and give some kind of financial support to the church. Long

story short, I was connected to a very kind lady called Jean Crichton from Summit

(NJ, USA) who was coordinating the scholarship system there. We started

communicating through emails. Was and still am amazed by her. She is above 70

years old and still replies to my emails almost instantly. In the last 12 years, we

became closer to each other and shared our stories. A friendship was formed, we got

to know each other’s families both online and offline.

A few years later there was some kind of experiment to try and deepen our

partnership between the two congregations. So a group of people (including that lady)

came to visit us in Barot in 2012. We spent a week together traveling around our town

and even did a 3-day retreat at a nearby forest.

Rev. Emilie Boggis (NJ) preached about the meaning of partnership and how

it differs across cultures. She spoke of how partnership through thick and thin has the

potential to change your life, to draw out more love than you knew you had within

you. Summit members gave the Barót congregation a chalice, a symbol of the

American Unitarian Universalist movement, and friendship bracelets were given out,

providing a physical reminder of the long-distance partnership.

"All of us were excited to come to Barót, but we weren’t expecting how close

we would become in spite of language and cultural barriers,” said Rev. Boggis. “We

weren't expecting to fall in love with the beauty of the land and the people we met.

We have formed lasting friendships. We can't wait to go back."

It was then when my spirituality began. Those people showed us that being

part of a congregation doesn’t solely mean going to the church from Sunday to
Sunday. They were a team, they shared the same ideas about being Unitarian

Universalists. Friendships were formed again, but this time it was face to face. We

spent those days getting to know each other, trying to find something in common, and

ultimately realizing it was music that helped us communicate through language

barriers. 

So I started to go to the church again. But this time it didn’t feel like a chore. I

listened to the sermon and tried to understand and I started to sing songs which never

happened before. And it didn’t end here. Because when I got home, I continued to

connect to my American friends and we explored some kind of common spirituality

together.

As the years passed by more and more visits happened from both sides. I was

lucky enough to have traveled to NJ twice. And it was like a dream. Not that

American kinda dream. Actually, I wasn’t that into New York City which was

obviously the main mark of our visit. Both times got to know more and more people

there. We had a chat, we shared similar values, we became friends. And still are in

touch. Those people are so different from us. They don’t stress as much about money.

They have a decent life, they are kind to each other, they love teamwork, they don’t

compete against each other.

Through them, I started to get more interested in my own religion. When we

got a new minister who is young and talented, she really could help all of us dive into

our religion deeply.

Get to know these religions a little bit. Here is a brief history of the Unitarian

Faith in Transylvania according to cedarlane.org:

“The Unitarian faith is a product of the Reformation. Francis David was a

Catholic priest who had studied in Wittenberg, Germany where Martin Luther has
taught. David became a Lutheran, then a Calvinist. He then studied the writings of

Italian Faustus Socinus and Spaniard Michael Servetus who both challenged the idea

of the Trinity of God (Father, Son, and Holy Spirit). While this idea was crushed by

the Counter-Reformation (Calvin burned Servetus to death), 16th century

Transylvania had created a sphere of tolerance. On January 20th, 1565, David gave

his first sermon about Unitarianism in Kolozsvar (Cluj) in St, Michael’s church.

Prince John Sigismund, a convert to the Unitarian faith, convened the Diet of Torda,

an assembly of nobles and landed gentry in January 1568. .He promulgated the Edict

of Religious Tolerance which called for religious freedom and conscience and

allowed for different faiths. By 1572, Prince Bathori, Prince Sigismund’s successor,

passed an act against the Unitarian Reformation though it was aimed at Francis David.

David had stressed the human nature of Jesus Christ and was opposed to worshipping

him. He was sentenced to life imprisonment at the fortress of Deva and died there on

November 15, 1579. 

It was not easy to be a small denomination in the centuries that followed.

Today, there are two Hungarian Unitarian churches. The Transylvanian Unitarian

Church has 126 churches with 65,000 members and is headquartered in Kolozsvar

(Cluj). The Hungarian Unitarian Church has 11 churches with a few thousand

members centered in Budapest.” This can be read on the site.

From year to year, there are two meaningful dates for us, Unitarians,

remembering Francis David. On the 13th of January us the Religious Freedom day,

because it was announced in 1568 on the Diet of Torda. The religious decision, made

more than 450 years ago, enshrined the right to freedom of conscience and religion

and the free choice of pastors for congregations.

On the last Saturday of each November, thousands of Unitarian people travel

to Deva for our pilgrimage. It begins with a prayer at the base of the mountain (the

castle of Deva is on the top of a high mountain), it continues with a so-called parade

to the castle when people basically go up to the castle. There are a few choices. Some

like to use a lift, others like to walk their way up slowly, others may choose the stairs

and the last choice would be going up with a car. In the end, it is important that

everyone gets to the castle which gets pretty crowded (well, it used to before Covid).

Worship is being held, candles are lit and wreaths are placed at the memorial cell. The

day is closed by all these people getting back to the city of Deva and sharing a cup of

tea and a piece of cookie offered by the hosts of the ceremony.

Let’s learn about Unitarian Universalism.

“Unitarian Universalism (UU) is a liberal religion characterized by a "free and

responsible search for truth and meaning" (4th and 7th principle). Unitarian

Universalists assert no creed, but instead are unified by their shared search

for spiritual growth, guided by a dynamic, "living tradition". Currently, these

traditions are summarized by the Six Sources and Seven Principles of Unitarian

Universalism, documents recognized by all congregations who choose to be a part of

the Unitarian Universalist Association. These documents are 'living', meaning always

open for revisiting and reworking. Unitarian Universalist (U.U.) congregations

include many atheists, agnostics, and theists within their membership—and there are

U.U. churches, fellowships, congregations, and societies around the world. The roots

of Unitarian Universalism lie in liberal Christianity,

specifically unitarianism and universalism. Unitarian Universalists state that from

these traditions comes a deep regard for intellectual freedom and inclusive love. 

Congregations and members seek inspiration and derive insight from all major world

religions” according to Wikipedia.

 After a short research on the website of the Unitarian Universalist Association

it can be read that the 7 main principles are the following:

"We, the member congregations of the Unitarian Universalist Association, covenant

to affirm and promote

 The inherent worth and dignity of every person;

 Justice, equity and compassion in human relations;

 Acceptance of one another and encouragement to spiritual growth in our

congregations;

 A free and responsible search for truth and meaning;

 The right of conscience and the use of the democratic process within our

congregations and in society at large;

 The goal of world community with peace, liberty, and justice for all;

 Respect for the interdependent web of all existence of which we are a part."

Unitarian Universalists emphasize the responsibility of the individual as well as

the community for achieving spiritual growth and development. The complete

statement of the Unitarian Universalist covenant describes the Six Sources upon

which current practice is based, according to the same source as the 7 principles:

1. Direct experience of that transcending mystery and wonder,

affirmed in all cultures, which moves us to a renewal of the

spirit and an openness to the forces which create and uphold

life;

2. Words and deeds of prophetic people which challenge us to

confront powers and structures of evil with justice, compassion,

and the transforming power of love;

 3. Wisdom from the world's religions which inspires us in our

ethical and spiritual life;

4. Jewish and Christian teachings which call us to respond to

God's love by loving our neighbors as ourselves;

5. Humanist teachings which counsel us to heed the guidance of

reason and the results of science, and warn us against idolatries

of the mind and spirit.

6. Spiritual teachings of Earth-centered traditions which celebrate

the sacred circle of life and instruct us to live in harmony with

the rhythms of nature.

Therefore it can be stated that the two religions may seem pretty similar, at least by

their name, still are very different. The Unitarian faith is based on the belief that God

is one. However Unitarian Universalism has a way more complex base, there are

seven different principles and six sources to live by. Still, the latter is way more open

and flexible with their beliefs than the first ones, who are greatly strict with the old

statements. 

Let’s compare these two religion’s symbols/logos to see if there are any

similarities or differences. Starting again with the Unitarian faith. It is showing a

dove, serpent, mountain, and crown. They symbolize peace, wisdom, level, kingdom.

The serpent is creating a circle by biting its tail around the dove who is standing on a

mountain which is all below the crown. It can be understood as we have to be patient

when the circle of life happens because everything is controlled by God. He sees and

knows everything, so we can be all relaxed, He is going to take care of all.

The official symbol of Unitarian Universalism is a flaming chalice. Originally

a sign of refuge for those escaping Nazi persecution, the symbol now holds meanings
as varied as the thousands of U.U. congregations that light chalices at the beginning of

their weekly services.

Only from this one thing, the symbol of each religion, we can see that these

two are obviously distinct. Still, it is conspicuous that both of them have a circle in

their logo, which can be understood like both of them celebrates the circle of life.

If we think about the fact that these two religions originate from two different

continents, totally different people live on each side with different history and culture,

it is unequivocal that the religions themself have to be different. Still, there are some

similarities.

I guess it is time to relate my own perspective, to let you know how I see my

religion, how I live my life being a religious girl. Cannot really tell when did my own

religious journey begin. If it would be important to pick a date, I would say it all

started relatively early, in my childhood. And yes, I am aware of what I wrote on the

previous pages. We didn’t really understand the sermon back in the days when we

were children. Yet, going to church, listening to the sermon, reading stories with Jesus

during class, learning songs about Him, talking about faith, was giving me some kind

of a base. It didn’t make much sense back then. But it was the beginning of all. Years

later, in my teenage years, I lost my grandfather. I was angry. I was sad. I was not

myself anymore. We had some kind of special connection. I was his first grandchild

and the only girl (we are three), and he made me feel special for that. Every time

when my parents wanted to punish me for not doing my chores, I could ask him to

arrange it somehow. So after losing him, I was broke. I could barely make a day at

school without crying. I dreamed with him a lot. It was Him, our God, showing me

my grandfather because He knew, my heart was broken. The healing process was

really slow. But all the time felt His support. So I got stronger over time. Later on, in
my twenties, I got introduced to my Unitarian Universalist friends. Adored their

belonging. They were all so different, the only common thing was their religion. They

were open, they were kind. For the first time in my life, I saw some kind of piety,

where anybody could speak up and tell us their feelings. And they were not ashamed

to do so. And they were telling beautiful thoughts. Before this experience, I didn’t

really think about my relationship with God. So, it was time to analyze and deepen

and develop it. Started to make up conversations with Him in my head. It was kind of

cumbersome at the beginning. But it got better and better as time went by. When I

was finishing my college degree, I knew that He is helping me, giving me strength,

patience, endurance. 

It is interesting that we call His help whenever we are in a difficult situation.

But do we appreciate His work, when we are in a good place when everything is

working fine when we feel pretty happy, there are no major issues with our lives? Are

we able to give Him gratitude? Do we make time to stop for a minute and just thank

Him for everything? Because all is His merit.

As I aged and moved forward in my life, it got clear that I believe in Him

deeply and I can trust Him with my life, I can find peace in Him. There are days when

I am in total agreement with His decisions, but there are several days when it is not

clear for me, for now, what are His reasons, goals. Had to learn how to accept His

will. And let me tell you, it was a great battle. I was naive for so long in my life.

Thought that those who do good will get treated well, and those who are actively bad

will get treated badly. It is not how it all works. I am still a little bit angry about this.

We have to look at the great picture of life. Not all actions will be judged instantly.

We have to put in constantly our best selves in everything. And we cannot wait for

any kind of appreciation. Life doesn’t work like that. We have to be consistent. We
have to believe that all we do has a purpose and will do good to somebody. But it is

not obligatory to be shown immediately.

Trusting the process is grueling. We all have objectives in life. Some want a

nice house, some want a kind family, some want to be happy, others want money. We

all need to work hard to be able to get close to these things. And, during the process,

we may encounter that those goals aren’t the best for us. During the process, we may

realize that we want something else. We got different during the years, our taste

changed, our value system changed, our goals changed.

The only way to be in peace is to trust Him. Trust Him entirely. Trust His

decisions. Trust His point of view. Trust His timing. Trust Him when he throws

barriers in front of us. Trust Him when He is testing our endurance, faith, patience.

A while ago I needed motivation for work. So I started to follow some

motivational accounts on Tiktok (a new kinda social media, where people post short

videos usually followed by some kind of text). There were shown the most successful

people like Elon Musk, Bill Gates, Jeff Bezos, etc. They all have different daily

routines. But they all have something in common, something that made them the

richest people on the planet. That is called dedication. They all are extremely

dedicated to their own profession. They wake up and almost instantly start to work,

and work all day long, until late in the evening, and then basically go to bed, the next

day starts all over again. Elon Musk said in an interview that anybody can be

successful, but they have to put in the effort, have to dedicate time and passion, work

for at least 80-100 hours a week. How can anybody work that much amount of time?

Like actually work, not just pretend it and meanwhile play video games or scroll on

Facebook watch Netflix. No, no. These men do work a lot. A crazy amount of time.
How can anybody keep their motivation up for so long? They all believe that their

work will pay off. 

After a brief research on the internet about these three amazing people, I found

very big differences when it comes to religion or faith. To begin with, Bill Gates is

religious. He follows Catholicism and believes in God, but as a data-driven scientist,

he is far from a devout Christian. Speaking to Rolling Stones magazine Gates said: “I

think it makes sense to believe in God, but exactly what decision in your life you

make differently because of it, I don’t know”. In a David Frost interview, he was

asked about the topic of religion. Here is his answer. “I’m not somebody who goes to

church on a regular basis. The specific elements of Christianity are not something I’m

a huge believer in. […] In terms of doing things I take a fairly scientific approach to

why things happen and how they happen. I don’t know if there is a god or not.” When

Elon Musk was asked if he believed in God, he replied: Well, I do. Do I think that

there's some sort of master intelligence architecting all of this stuff? I think probably

not because then you have to say: "Where does the master intelligence come from?"

So it sort of begs the question. So I think really you can explain this with the

fundamental laws of physics. You know it's a complex phenomenon from simple

elements - according to Wikipedia. What do we know about Jeff Bezos’ religious

beliefs? Religion plays an increasingly significant and complicated role in Silicon

Valley. Jeff and MacKenzie Bezos have never discussed their religious beliefs.

Biographical details, family history, and public records suggest both were raised

under some form of Christianity. It's unclear whether they identify as Christian or

follow any other kind of religion.

So, if I would like to summarize their responses about the topic of religion, I

would say that these people are not religious. But they all have some kind of a
religious background, they were all raised in religious families. They are people of

science, it is obvious that they won’t believe in what we call God. They will always

find explanations in science for almost everything in life. People of science have

discovered a lot of answers for mysterious things explained by the activities of God

for us, believers. But they agree on needing some kind of great existence that we all

need to believe in. It is a characteristic of humankind. They will not expect great

miracles from Him.

As we are getting closer to the end of this essay, I would like to introduce a

wonderful festival which is taking place in the middle of Transylvania, in

Gyergyószentmiklós. It is a Christian cohesive. The Charger (free translation from

Hungarian Feltöltő) is a dynamic, modern, youthful music event that conveys

Christian values to anyone, regardless of age group. Within the framework of the

program, Hungarian and Transylvanian bands take turns on the stage, and simple and

well-known people of different denominations testify to their faith. The Charger is

prepared by an interfaith organizing group. Organizers include Baptists, Unitarians,

Reformed, and Catholics. A joint ecumenical worship service will take place on

Sunday.

They declare that the purpose of the Charging Occasion is for people who

come to the program to meet God and realize that there is life and strength in their

relationship with Him. In the program, their plan is to lead people into God’s

presence, convey Christian values to them, and provide an opportunity for community

building. Their desire is for people to realize that living with God is joyful and not

outdated. They want the event to build a bridge between people and God, and to help

open up, tear down walls between each other and different religions. They would be

more than happy if on their occasions there would take place conversions, healings,
and if this would promote change and awakening in Gyergyószentmiklós.

This kinda festival is unique - as much as I know - but hopefully people will

realize that we need this in our lives. We need occasions to meet our fellow

Christians, we need to support each other in our own relationships with God. This is

an amazing occasion to realize that God isn’t locked into churches, and praying is not

the one and only way to communicate with Him. We are able to reach Him through

songs, laughter, hugs, thoughts. He is open to us anytime.

Let me return once again to my personal experience with religion, but this

time talking about my adulthood which is highly affected by my childhood. So, I

didn’t really talk about the fact that I am not a single child. I do have a younger

brother. I was close to three years old when he was born. Still remember it clearly

when me, my father and my grandmother went to the hospital to see him shortly after

the birth. And also remember the day he was brought home. He was so tiny and

innocent. I was impatient to play with him. It was a bit hard for me to understand that

he needs to grow a lot before he can play with me. Maybe because my parents told me

he would when he arrives. Therefore I woke him up quite frequently when he finally

falls asleep. My parents were angry at me. And the days went by, years went by and

he finally grows as much as he was able to play with me. But somehow he became

selfish. And I had to share with him everything in half, and my half again in half, ergo

I ended up with 1/4 of chocolate and he got 3/4. I didn’t complain back then. After a

few years, our relationship changed again. I was hard-working in school, he was not, I

was obedient, he was not, I was silent, he was not. He became my total opposite.

When I got some bad classifications in school, my mother hurt me, she beat me with a

belt. When he got bad classifications, he lies about them, and nothing happened. We

were not the best siblings in our childhood (and still are not in our adulthood). He
used to tell me things like “You are fat” (he is obese in reality), “You are dumb”,

“You are worthless”. My parents didn’t protect me. There were examples of him

beating me. He is twice as big as me. And still uses this method towards me whenever

I get the courage to say the truth out loud. I grew up feeling useless, feeling fat,

feeling not enough. At the end of my twenties, I realized, that this cannot continue this

way anymore. So I prayed a lot. I asked God to give me strength. He found his way to

message me through books, articles, even podcasts, and helped me build myself up

again. But this time I am stronger than I was ever before. Had to learn that I am

useful, I am pretty, I am fit, I am smart, I am enough. Suddenly every part of my life

became easier. I scraped together s a tiny bit of confidence and it changed my life for

the better. God loves me the way my parents should have loved me. He protects me

the way he should have protected me. He is my strength. He is my light. After that

abusive childhood, and half of my adult life, I won’t let myself down once again.

Through Him, I found the answers to my questions, those pieces of information are

still coming to me day by day. I just need to understand them, need to connect the

answers to my questions. 

Finding His love doesn’t have to be like a children’s fairy tale. There won’t be

an angel coming down to earth singing in glory to talk to us. There won’t be an old

man telling us his advice. But there always be signs sent by Him one way or another.

It can be hidden in a friend’s smile, or a hug, a nice message from across the ocean, it

can be read in a psychological article or podcast. He can send His message through a

song, or a poem that finds its way to us. We have to be open to everything. He can

send us help in multiple ways.

To be religious doesn’t necessarily mean that we have to go to the church each

Sunday. It can be part of our religious lives. But it is not exclusively connected to it.
There are tons of examples that not every person who goes to the church is kind,

open, straightforward. People tend to live their lives out of pure habits. Once they get

used to going to the church, being part of a congregation, they will keep going, it

became part of their routine. Everyone is free to go to any church, listen to any

sermon. But there are people, including myself, who either don’t have time to go or

they found something uncomfortable there, which can be the minister (who might not

be sympathetic to everyone) or they might not like the way the sermon is built up or

really anything. And they still can be considered religious if they believe in

something, anything, and behave like a good Christian. Is it hard to behave like a

good Christian? Not at all. The main point of it - this is my personal opinion - is to not

do harm to anybody or anything. If you have a chance to help somebody, which can

seem a small task to you but mean the world to the other person, help them out. If you

have to decide whether to lie or not, choose the first option. Even if it is way harder

and may have consequences. If you have a chance to offer a helping hand, do it. Do it

even if the person in the case won’t accept it. At least you tried and go to bed

peacefully. If you have a chance to express your love, appreciation, gratitude to

someone, do it. Do not hesitate, because that chance may not come back anytime

soon.

Writing this essay helped me a lot to think about what counts the most when it

comes to religion. I came to the conclusion that we all might practice our religion

differently, and there still might be something in common. As us Unitarians say, God

is one. He is universal, He is the same everywhere, even though is shown, or talked

about differently.