Chapter I

I am always a bad chooser.

Yes, you heard that right. I am so bad at choosing men in my life. At 13 I had my first boyfriend
which was my classmate in high school. He wasn’t my first love nor my first crush as a teenager, he was
his twin brother and it was not the kind of courtship any girl dreamed of having nor close to it. It was the
era of cellphones and text messaging and I was asked through it and said yes.

Our relationship lasted for three months. I spent some afternoon’s in their house with my cousin
as the third wheel and just hang out, nothing much. Eventually, I heard things like “he wasn’t into me at
all, he said it was just a game and I took the bait and fell for it.” Little did he know that I was playing the
game too. I never had the intention of making him my boyfriend, it’s just that he took my yes even
before I can say it’s just a joke and decided to play on the idea until it lasts.

To sum up I dated 5 of my high school friends of which I am still friends with for the record. They
were all unbelievers.

You know having a boyfriend/girlfriend can really be overwhelming. One day out of nowhere in
your very ordinary and mundane life someone asks you out and offers to buy you ice cream or walks you
home and then eventually confesses their feelings for you and you get caught up with all the emotions
you’re feeling inside and you then start to forget the most important things in life. When I was in the
seminary I met a guy, he was a transferee from a university who decided to take on seminary life and be
a Pastor in the future. Our first meeting was

If I could then I would turn back time and undo us,

I wish we never met and got close,

Never have given myself and risk loving you,

Then, I might have saved myself from all this pain.

We should’ve stayed as friends.

I should’ve never allowed you in,

Then, we might still have each other today.